The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, June 17, 1903, Page 2, Image 2
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lie Telly How H's Con Joe j?
^ Tackled a. Railroad. ^
? TTVTWVTy VVVT7T7 VTTTV7TT *
[?Copyright. 1303. by L. T. P.^bards.]
SPJ?\P Vk.->r>T> ,J?^ *he ^oTmnl
store at" the tuners" with the I
Old po :?i 1 .;-; of Te?m-s-e !
to buy ;s. ?v? n:?J tobacco, ami
among the idlers, at- the store was itpert
young r.i*u who had a good deal
to say about himself. On our way
home and after a long period of silence
old Zeb suddenly exclaimed:
"Drat that young Perkins! He's got
the big head the worst way, and I'm
hopin' that suthiu' comes along to give
him a shock. Most young men seem
to want to make fools of themselves."
"But they get over it after awhile,"
I replied.
"Ye-es, if they don't die first. I had
a powerful pert son who didn't live to
git over his braggin' days. Sometimes
I feel bad about it, and. agdn, I think it
happened for the best."
I asked him for the yarn, and after
WaiKing ttiOiig lur a quanvi kjl a mi?;
be began:
"One spring, when my son Joe was
eighteen y"ars old, he got the big head i
mirhty bad. I seen it com in" on him
and knowed tkard be trnbble, and the
ole woman sue seen it coniiu' and said
to rae:
" 'Zeb, otir non Joe Is giftin' ready to
make a fule of hisself, and I want you
to keep an eye on him. Ke imagines
he's as big as a mounting, and he freis
that he kin lick ten men all to once.'
"When the big head gits hold of a
young man it takes a powerful dose of
medicine to cure it Joe k^pt growin*
wuss and wuss. He got lazy, and he
got to braggin' and biowin', and from
the way he looked at me now and then
outer the corner of his eye I knowed
he was achin' to tackle me. Just to let
him know * t bis oie pop was on deck
I grabbed aim one day and throwed
him sky high over the fence, and he
was mo' humble arter that.
"It didn't cure him, however. He
went around rabbin' ag'in folks and
step-in' high, and one day he comes
home and sez to me:
" 'Pop, did yo' ever tackle a railroad?'
44 4Xo, sonny, I never did. I've tackled
men and b'ars and wildcats and
circuses, but not a railroad.'
44 They've got one over in the valley,
and I think I kin whop it In about five
minutes.'
"Joe had never seen a railroad," explained
the oid man. "and they h<:d jest
run one down Little Valley, twelve
miles away. I told him what it was
4
/ / / 4
'k's*' "
,fu > , '
(J >/({(' ""fr
^?z?. , /
;?i.- '
HE STOOD THAE AND JUHPED UP AND
DOWN. |
like, but he wasn't a bit discouraged.
He jest humped up his shouiders and
spit on his hands and said:
" 'Shuck my hide, but I'm dyin' to
whop somebody, and I'll go over toinoirer
and tackle that railroad. If
nobody around yere has c^er tackled
a railroad, then it will be all the more
glory tur me.'
" 'Joe, don't go and make no fule of
j-crself,' sex I.
" 'As to how?' he.
""As to tacklin' a railroad, thar are
some things as even yer pop can't do,
and one of 'em is tacklin* a railroad.
Jest yo' go out and find a b'ar and hev
some fun with hiai and git over this
nonsense.'
"He didn't say nuthin* to that but I
knowed he wouldn't mind what I said.
4ie went to bed airiy, and jest at daylight
I heard him movin' around. I told
him If be was bound to go over to Lit
T?.I . i :i.u i.:
lie vaiie.v iu go iiiong w uu iuili nnt-r
v breakfast and see fa'r play, and so he
waited. When we sot out, be was in
high spirits. He whooped and hollered
and pranced, and the road wasn't wide
'nuff for him to walk in. Befo' I left
the house the ole woman sez to me:
M 4Zeb, are yo' gwine to let our Joe
tout a railroad?*
" 'That's the idea,' sez I.
44 'Will he git whopped?
" 'lie will. He'll git whopped so
powerful quick and hard that he'll be
as humble as a nursin' babe fur a y'ar
to cum.*
"We got o^er to th*? valley 'bout 10
o'clock in the mawnin'," continued the
oiu man, "and Joe got his fust sigiit of
^ TTA rw< > i I L'?i nr\ Ain f o/l
il IJ.C UID?J/^UI.U>U.
Thar wasn't nuthin' but the Iron rails
to font, and thar was tears In his eyes
as he sot down on a stone and sez:
" Top, thnr's nuthin' to fout. and
we've walk?d twelve miles fur nuthin'.
I'm feelin' that this state of Tennessee
is ag in rue.'
" 'Joe.' sez I arter thinkin' things
over, 'thar ain't nuthin' yere to fout,
jest as I told yo\ but mobbe it would
console yo' to bluff one of thern bullgines.'
" 'I can blnff anything from a mounting
to a grasshopper! Wliar's yer
bullgine?'
wrnTTMTBiTMriiiTTi-|iini urn mi HI i f ??
" 'Comin' down the valley witli some
kyars behind it. Yo've bin blowin'
and braggin' all the spring, and yer
jest fooiin' that yo've got to whop sunthin'
or die. (Jit down on the track
and turn yerself loose.'
" 'I'll do it, pop. and if I don't take
seven different twists in this ole milroad
then I'll never look another woodchuck
in the face.'
"V,"hat I tiggcrod on." said Zrb as ho
heaved a Jong sigh, "was that Joe
won!'! h?*v sense 'miff in his head to
J^rft c'.C the track when he seen what
*' the bullgine was. lie hadn't, though,
lie stood thar and jumped up and
down and cracked his heels together
and whooped, and when I hollered at
him he turns to me and sez:
" Top. yo' jest watch my smoke and
don't loose any of the fun. Yer boy
Joe are gwine to pull this railroad up
by the roots or p^rkih in the attempt.' "
"And he did wait for the engine to
strike him?" I asked.
"Yes, jest waited right thar. prancln'
around and whoopin'," replied Zeb. "I
started fur him, but bofo' I got thar
the bullgine struck him, and he went
sail in' over the bushes. Tea red to me
he never would git done snilin', but
bimeby he cum down witn a crasu.
Wlion I looked him over. I found he
was all broke to pieces. I was liftin*
him up when he open his eyes and
smiles and sez:
"'Pop, did T tackle the railroad?
44 'Yo' did, m.y son.' sez I.
44 'And thar was a font?'
44 Thar was.'
"'And which got whopped?'
"As lie was a-dyin' and I didn't want
to hurt his feelin's I told him that he
had licked the hull outfit and kivered
the fam'ly with glory. He lifted up
one hand and tried to whoop, but that
whoop was only a whisper, and he died
in my arms."
"Them he never knew how it was?"
"Never knowed it, sah. Jest went to
his death thinkin' he had twisted that
railroad clean over two mountings and
back ag'in and that he weighed a ton
or more'n any other critter in Tennessee.
"Poor Joe! If I'd a-gone at it and
driv' him about two feet into the airth
when the cussedness fust got bolt of
him. he bin livin' and a humble man.
today, but I let him tackle a railroad,
and be got busted all to squash."
M. QUAD.
Interesting to Asthma Suferers.
Daniel B*Lte of Otervi'le, Iowa,
writes, "I have bad asthma fur three
or four jears aud Lave tried abou*
I all the cough hdq asthma cures in
tbe ojarket aud have received t^ntfrom
physio^ ns in N-w York
j ai d other citiep, but got very little
ben*fir. until I :rjtd Foley'* Hoey
and Tar which gave me immediate
relief and I will ne/t-r be wirbou1. it
in my house. I "iueerely r-commend
it to all " The K^nfmann Drug Co.
A PINCH OF SALT.
Necessary In Onr Dully Life as
In Our Dally Food.
"Flow could we net on without salt?
In our daily food, as in onr daily life, a
little of it is necessary, and the absence
of it takes away from the flavor of everything
we eat. The "salt of life"
which we hear about signifies the
health, vigor and wit which we find in
life. There was a time in countries far
from the sea when primitive man never
used salt in his food, and it was
only when nations advanced in civilization
that salt became an absolute necessity.
But it was not alone as food that salt
was valued. Among the anciei^; a salt
spring was regarded as a gift of the
gods, and it was believed that any salt
fcund In the soil lent it a peculiar sanctity
and made It a place where prayers
were most readily heard. Every meal
that included salt had a certain sacred
character, creating a bond of piety and
friendship between host and guest;
honce the expression, "There is salt
between us." meaning friendship, and
to be "untnie to salt" means to be disloyal
or ungrateful.
In the middle ages, when all classes
and degrees sat at the same board,
tbey were placed according to rank,
above*or fceiow the great saltcellar.
which always stood in the middle and
marked the dividing social line. "Above
the salt" meant "of high degree." Below
the salt were the yeomanry, serfs
and vassals of the feudal days. A good
description of this custom may be
found in "Ivar.hoe" where Cedric, the
Saxon, entertains his vassals and
friends.
A pinch of salt is always considered
lucky In cooking. To take anything
"with a pinch of salt" means to excuse
- or make allowances for it A "salt" is
a sailor. To salt one's conversation
means to make it sparkle. Salt is always
employed in a sense of benefit or
strength.
The Bible has many references to
salt among them being "Ye are the
salt of the earth," Matthew v, 13, and
St Paul says, "Let your speech be al*
4-1 \ /ywn aa f ao rwl cnlf M
W U,? 5 IV111J j^ldV-C ovaovuiu nnu ouiv.
Salt Is used by Catholics in baptism.
They consider It a symbol of wisdom
and put a few grains in the mouth of
the person baptized.
"I have be-ii iruutneu for some
urn with indigestion and sour etomaca."
says Mrs Sarah W. Curtis, of
Lee, Mass., "and Pave bteu taking
Chamberlain's Srom*ch and Lr-er
Tablets whisb have hilped me very
much so that now I can eat many
tbir gs that before I could nor." If
you have any trouble with your
stomach why uot 'ake these Tablets
and get wel ? For sale by The
X'lufoiatm Drug Co.
V. ^ L ,' U.', J f ?' iii'^' - ^
"The square peg in the round holen
figuratively expresses the use of means
unsuited to the desired end. A great
many people v;ho have been cured of
dyspeosia and other diseases of the stomach
and its allied organs of digestion and
nutrition by the use of Dr. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discover}' say : " W? tried many
medicines with only temporary benefit.
It was not until we began the use of
' Golden Medical Discovery' that we
found a complete and lasting cure."
$3,000 FORFEIT will be paid by
I World's Dispensary Medical Association,
Proprietors, Buffalo, N. Y., if
they cannot show the original signature
of the individual volunteering the'testimoni&l
below, nnd also of the writers of
I every testimonial among the thousands
j vfaich they are constantly publishing,
tiras proving their genuineness.
"It i3 -with pleasure that I tell you what Dr.
pieroe's Oroidcu Medical Discovery and 1 Pellets *
have done for roe," writes Mrs. T. M. Palmer, of
Peede, K&nhrxm Co., Texas. "Two years ago I
was taken with stomach and bowel trouble.
Everything I ate would put me in distress. I
lived"two weeks on rniik and even that gave nic
pain. I felt as though I would starve to death.
Three doctors attended luc?one said I had dyspepsia,
two said catarrh of the stomach and
bowels. They attended me (one at a time) for
one year. I stopped taking t heir medicine and
tried some patent medicine; got no better, iv'd
I grew so weak tnd nervous my heart would
flutter. I could noc do any kind of work. Now
I can do my house ^ ~k very well; am gaining
in fiesh and ztrer-g* *. and can eat anything I
want."
Accept no substitute for Dr. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery.
Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser is sent free on receipt of stamps
to pay expense of mailing only. Send
21 one-cent stamps for the paoer covered
book, or 31 stamps for the cloth bound
volume. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo,
N. Y.
. DON'T GET ANGRY.
Fire in the heart sends smoke in the
head.?German Proverb.
An envious man waxes lean at the
fatness of his neighbor.?Socrates.
One of the very best of all earthly
possessions is self possession.?G. D.
Prentice.
The fire you kindle for your enemy
often burns yourself more than him.?
Chinese Proverb.
The envious man pines in plenty, like
Tantalus up to the chin in water and
yet thirsty.?T. Adams.
An irritable man lies like a hedgehog
rolled up the wrong way, tormenting
himself with his own prickles.?E. P.
Hoed.
Lamentation is the only musician
that always, like a screech owl, alights
and sits on the roof of an angry man.
?Plutarch.
A man can easily be intoxicated with
anger as with wine; both produce a
temporary insanity, and during the
paroxysm he should be avoided as a
madman.?J. Bartlett.
NIgrht Air.
One of the bugbears of old time peo
pie is r.ight air, and there is little exaggeration
in saying that the superstition
against night air has killed more
people than the free circulation of it
has ever injured. There is abundance
of nroof that nicbt air is injurious to
no one. On the contrary, people who
sleep outdoors under the mere pro tectum
of n tent are the healthiest of all
people, and the practice has largely
gained in popularity of late years under
wider knowledge of hygiene for
people in delicate health to go in
camping parties and breathe the balsam
of the night air. The vigor gained
from a few weeks of such an outing is
a marked proof that the old prejudice
against night air is as foolish as most
other old wives' whims.?Exchange.
Talent nntl Vocation.
Each man has his own vocation. The
talent is the call. There is one direction
in which all space is open to him.
He has faculties silently Inviting him
thither to endless exertion. lie is like
a ship in a river. He rims against obstructions
on every side but one. On
that side all obstruction is taken away,
and he sweeps serenely over God's
depths into an infinite sea. This talent
nnd this call depend on his organ
Ization or tiro mode in which tho jreneral
soul incarnates itself in him.?Emerson.
Tea Years in 3e&.
R. A Gray, J. ir'., Oakviiie, Ind.,
w(lLc^, "For leu years I was confined
lu lu> bed vviia disease of my
kidney*. Io was so severe that I
cmiid net move part of the time.
{ consulted the very best medical
tskul avail*hie, bur could ^et no relief
uuui Fjiey'o Kidney Cure was
recommended to me. It has been a
G id s-ei d to me." The K*ufmann
Drug Co.
In the Wponjf Direction.
When my little brother was five
years old, he had the mlsrortune to ran
from the second story porch of a Hat
in which we were living.
Our aunt, who is a minister's wife,
was calling a few days afterward and
in speaking of the accident said:
"Weil, Orr, if you had died when you
fell the other day you would have gone
to heaven, wouldn't you?"
Without hesitating, he replied, "Oh.
but I didn't fall that way!"?Little
Chronicle.
Heady For Grace.
"Quite a number of the old deacons
can now resume the practice of saying
grace at mealtime, Willie."
"Allow me to inquire why, Sallie."
"Why? Why, because they have
ceased 'chasing the devil around the
1 stump' and indulging in political fani
tasies. A man can't say grace with
very good grace If he be graceless, can
,, he?"?Canton Saturday Roller.
j
Love GrovrJnsr Cold.
Mrs. Octopus?I know that von don't
care as much for me as you did before
we were married.
Mr. Octopus?What put that notion
in your pretty head, my dear?
j Mrs. Octopus?Why. you used to put
I a hundred arms around me. and now
I
it is as much as you can do to use one.
?Philadelphia Telegraph.
The HMdon.
"Wt did Solomon say all wuz wan'.tv
en' wexation er spirit?"
"Well, he wuz mightily married, on',
'sides dat, dey didn't grow watermillions
in dem days."?Atlanta Constitution.
Expert Opinion.
Teacher (to little six-year-old)?Now,
Freddie, what is a volcano?
Freddie (with great confidence)?Oh,
I know that. It's a mountain that interrupts
all the time.?Life.
I
Unprofitable CtucHtioninprs.
Husband?A penny for your thoughts,
Flora.
Wife?I was thinking of a fifteen dollar
hat.?Detroit Free Press.
Difficult.
n
"PP
'V " f
The Friend?Ain't it hard to remera
ber all de golf terms?
The Caddie?You bet. Doy invents r
new cuss word every time dey fozzles
?San Francisco Examiner.
Tlie 5IaJn Issue.
Now comes the dainty maiden all agog
with animation
And fairly bubbling over with the coming
graduation.
But when it comes, oas. we find het
knowledge less impresses
Than flounces, frills and tucks and things
connected with her dresses.
?Baltimore News.
Ea&ol (Jives Strength
By enabling tbo digestive nrgani
to digest, assimilate bod trans-lorn
all of the wholesome food that mv
be taieo into tee kind of blood tha
nourishes the nerves, f-eds the tie
sues, hardens the muscles and r^cu
peratee the orgaus of the entiri
body. K^dcl Dyspepsia Cure curci
Indigestion, Dy-pep^a, Catarrh o
the S oroach a; d all stomach dis
crd rs. bold by all druggists.
Yocn,*? men ana tiaiutriin.
Life would become intolerable if girl,
could not be on frank and uncoquettisl
terms with men of their own age oi
some years their seniors. The idea tha
because two young people may have ;
great deal in common they must also b
in love is happily dying out No one i
hurt no one is compromised, when ;
friendship does not lead to marriage.John
Oliver Hobbes in Pall Mall Mag
aziue.
A Sorry Finish.
Kndleigh?Your wife is always ou1
spoken, isn't she?
Henpeck?Yes. but I try to be tha
way, too. sometimes.
Kadlelgb?Really?
Henpeck?Yes. but whenever I ver
ture to be outspoken it ends in my be
lng outtalked.?Philadelphia Press.
Music beckons the human race oi
and is followed by the two great coi
umns. the joyous, light hearted am
happy and the sorrowful, wretched an
despairing.
A Biirpntn In Estate.
House Hunter?Isn't $3,500 rathe
high for that house?
Agent?High! Why. friends of min
when they heard I was offering tha
house for such a low price have askei
me if it was haunted.?Brooklyn Life.
Not ax Serious as It MIgrht Be.
An eastern clergyman solemnly ir
forms us that the times are out o
joint.
It's a good thing the butcher shop
are not.?Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Gnlf.
Kate?Is there much difference i
their social position?
Nell?Oh. yes: her father gets a sn
ary and his father gets wages.?Somei
ville (Mass.) Journal.
An Enrly Start.
Pnront?Children, children! What ar
you quarreling about?
Freddy?We're playing bouse an
don't know who's to get the divorce.New
York Times.
Greenville, Tenn.
I have thoroughly convinced m}
self that Dr. Baker's Biood aD
Liver Cure is tb? nnest medicir.
made for Indigestion and Coostip*
tion. (I have tried them all) an
was cured by the use cf this rned
cine, after all others had failed,
most cheerfully and rmhesitatingl
endorse it. Yours truly,
H. N. Baker, Mayor.
For sale at the Bazaar.
j DO YOU GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK ?
Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.
Almost everybody who reads the newspapers
is sure to know of the wonderful
n ? -r-v !, cures made by Dr.
'?L Kilmer's Sv/amp-Root,
g "j the great kidney, liver
fi] J Li ana bladder remedy.
n U fr \ / I--- ^ is &reat r'iedi^
?A[ V '7^ cal triumph of the nine\
yl 1 |ij||> teenth century; disvSZjV'
Hill, covered after years of
.< . Fi llil'd scientific research by
'<] Ik" Kl^Xh Dr. Kilmer, the emi[j_e
_k AwT. " nent kidney and blad
der specialist, and is
wonderfully successful in promptly curing
lame back, kidney, bladder, uric acid troubles
and Eright's Disease, which is the worst
form of kidney trouble.
Dr. Kilmer's Swamp=Root is not recommended
for everything but if you have kid- 1
ney, liver cr Diaccer trouDie it win ce icuna
just the remedy you need. It has been tested
in so many ways, in hospital work, in private
practice, among the helpless too poor to purchase
relief and has proved so successful in
every case that a special arrangement has
been made by which all readers of this paper
who have not already tried it, may have a
sample bottle sent free by mail, also a book
telling more about Swamp-Root and how to
find out if you have kidney or bladder trouble.
When writing mention reading this generous
offer in this paper and
send your address to
Dr. Kilmer &, Co.,Binghamton,
N. Y.
regular fifty cent and Homo of Swamp-Root,
dollar sizes are sold by all good druggists
Albert 5L Boozer,
Attorney at Law.
COJLTJM2B1A, 53. <D.
Especial attention given to business entrusted
to him by his fellow citizens o
Lezington county.
Office: 13J6 Main Street, upstairs, opposite
Van M-tre'sFomitU'e blore
February 28 ? tf.
A N T jyiTW0 HtUNVr|
tions. If you are Interested, write us for
our handsome illustrated catalog.
THE LANIER SOOIHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE
r macon, ga.
November 19, 1902?ly,
; Parlor RestauraHt
1336 main street.
COLUMBIA, - S. C., !
The only up-to-date eating
House ot it3 kind in the City of Columbia.
It is well kept?clean linen,
3 prompt and polite service and get it quickly,
i Quiet and order always prevail. You get
what yon order and pay only for what you
^ get. Within easy reach of desirable sleep"
ing apartments.
02?*:iV AUL, MGHT.
0 B. DAVID, Propriotor.
- w TL Wn, V 1
' If;-it L .
* $$$ SUCCESSORS TO
I HI I 638-1 640 MAIN SI
HI Solicts a shar
?? tronage. "V
" m
1 ?1 mw cnnnc
gj yn e
:: 83 *
n
;i Wr
Si :|
SHOES A)
m
Is fr
i; m
d M
i. 'Dave competent men at tl
? We have cash to give for b
j ?y? to give for ca6b. Come
j 'oe
BEESWAX WANTED
IN LAEGE OR SMALL QUANTITIES
TTTE WILL PAY THE KIGIIEST MARV
T kftt price ior clean ani pure Beeswax.
Price governed by color and condition.
THE BAZAAR.
LEXINGTON. S. C
ff ^l ^ J
}i That Grow and Bear Frnit. j
O-- ,3, !
*;$! Write for our SO page ilV.v
lustrated Catalogue and 40
page pamphlet, "How to
Plant and Cultivate an Or chard,"
Gives you that information
you have so long
f ,v* wanted; '.ells you all about
Wi jv' .Vr/ those big red apples, lucious
-peaches, and Japan plums
with theiroriental sweetness,
<\ all of which you have often
?gr\ wondered where the trees
catne from that produced
thnm.
i||i? 'EVERYTHING GOOD in
m4 fruits<&,
-Unnsal flne stock of SILVER
k. MAPLES.young, thrifty trees
<;.? _ smooth and strai. ht, the kind
that live and grow off well,
^*? ?ld, rough trees. This is
most rapid growing matie
and one of the most beautiful
shade trees.
k*&!$?&".{' Write for prices and give
. list of wants.
J. Van Lindley Nursery Co.,
LV?^7/
POHONA, N 0. :
Mtr?%8
Sg^BSgjfaBl PARKER'S
hair balsam
Clear ?cs and beautifies the hair.
?<&j| Promotes a luxuriant growth.
.Never Pails to Eestore Gray
Hair to its Youthful Color.
Cures scalp diseases & hair falling.
50c,and31.Pint Druggirta
TliiljSI
Will Practice in all Court?,
EAUFMANX BUILDING,
LEXINGTON, S C
On the )8th dty ot October, we formed
- ? * ?? ; ?v *v,? *] <& r?i law.
3l fiUip i\/A (gTi i?V Vi w \? .?* .. .
We will be pleased to receive those having
legal bnsin*- s to be attended to at our office
in the Kanfmann building at any time,
ilespectfnlly.
J. wM. THURMOND,
G BELL 1IMMEBMAN,
October 22. 1902. ?ly.
Hilton's Life for the
Liver and Kidneys tones .
up the stomach.
Witt ft,, 1
Wm.. FURTICK.
r., COLUMBIA,S- C. S3
e of your pa7e
handle ?3
8
11
/'II f ?
ID HATS, |
8
mil
le bead of all departments.
arpaina and have bargains fin?
to see us. TVe handle
at goods.