Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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?????i?^; i ' I 3 S ! i || Bowsers : i p He Takes Issue With All i of "Whortleberries," < ii* [Copyright, 1903, by C. B. Lewi3.] JfK- BOWSER had been read Ming his evening paper for i half an hour when he laid it down with the remark: "Well, that's a queer name. Did you ever hear of whortleberries, Mrs. Bowser?" "A thousand times over." she rep. ed. "Oh, you have? Well, you are aLeof me for once in your life. Perhaps you will enlighten me?" "You have not only eaten them a hundred times, *^ut I have uo doubt : you have picked many a pailful. Whortleberries, my dear, are what people generally call huckleberries." "They can't be." "But they surely are." "I deny it A huckleberry is a huckleberry and has been ever since any one heard of them. A whortleberry is an altogether different thing, whatever it is. I thought it queer that ; you should kuow more than 1 did about the matter." "Now, don't make any mistake about ? a ? i...i > r - . n file oernes, pruiesit*u Airs, duhjcl, j though she realized that argument must lead to a family row. "There is :k> such fruit as huckleberries. The name is a corruption of whortleberries. Very few newspapers 01* circulars use <he term 'buckle.'" "You are wrong?a thousand times wrong." exclaimed Mr. Bowser as he j walked about. "It has never been any- ' thing else but huckleberry since Amer- 1 icn was discovered. Now that I re- ! roemljer. I can inform you that whortleberries grow in India. 1 have seen a few preserved specimens. They grow on trees and are something like our peaches. A huckleberry, as you know, is a small black berry about as large as a buckshot. It will be well for yon to remember this and not make any further mistakes." "You have only to look in the dictionary to find that 'buckle' is a corrup- . , BOWSER WAS LYING IN THE SNO AND THE VENERABLE MAN ^ tion of 'whortle' and that both terms relate to one and the same berry. Here, let me get it for you." "What do 1 care about the dictionary? What I know I know." "But let's sec what it says." "I don't care what it says. All the dictionaries in the world couldn't convince mo that I was wrong." Mrs. Bowser got down the unabridged and read: "The whortleberry is a small round edible berry which is highly valued l!or food. The name huckleberry is now more common in colloquial language Than whortleberry " "Doesn't that prove my case?'' she asked as she closed the book. "Not by forty miles, madam." shouted Mr. Bowser. "The two are entirely distinct. One grows in America, the other in India." "But Webster does not say so." "What have I got to do with Webster or any other man? What I know 1 know. Furthermore. I will prove the huckleberry question right here in our own house. We'il see what the cook says." The cook came tip in answer to the bell, and Mr. Bowser asked: "Sarah, you know what huckleberries are. of course?" "Oh. yes, sir." "But did you ever see a whortleberry ?" "Yes, sir: tlicy arc the same thing." ; "Eh! Eh! What's that?" "The same thing, sir, begging your pardon. My brother once bet $10 that they were different, and he made a fool cf himself and lost his money. Is that all. sir?" There was a painful silence as the cook departed, and then Mr. Bowser stood up and hoarsely whispered: "Woman. I see the conspiracy, but I will balk it. I presume you have even got the cat on your side." "Why all this excitement over nothing?" asked Mrs. Bowser. "I'm sure we don't care whether it's whortle or buckle. "But we do care." ho persisted. "Yon have tried to make out that 1 am an ignoramus, and J propose to show you to the contrary. Within half an hour I will make you and your Webster's Die tionary look liko 15 cents." . "What are you going to do?" she ssked as he started down the hail. Kill iml^illf * Webster * [ r [ Authorities on Subject r * m? Gets Into Trouble : ==? \ "I am going to bring forty different people here to say that I am right. You sit right there, and you will hear from me in about ten minutes." Mr. Bowser put on his hat and overcoat and went out. and be had scarcely got out of the gate when he met a pedestrian and accosted him with: "Sir, you will pardon me, but I wish to ask you a question. What is the difference between huckleberries and whortleberries?" "It's all in the pronunciation," re plied tiie man. "Then you insist that both are the same thing?" "Certainly. Have you run across "ny idiot who disputes it?" Mr. Bowser glared at him and walked on. At the corner he found a man leaning against the fence and said to him: "I have a little bet on hand, and perhaps you can help me to win it. You have beard of huckleberries, haven't you?" "I should remark." was the reply. "I was born oil the edge of a huckleberry swamp, and I have picked a hundred bushels of them." "Well, now, did you ever hear of whortleberries?" "They are the same thing, old man? the same thing. It's all in the way you pronounce the name." "But I contend that they are different," aggressively announced Mr. Bowser. f "No use. old man. A whortleberry is a huckleberry, and you can't make pumpkins of one and turnips of the other. I pronounce the name buckle. I like it. There's something soft and tender about it. At this very moment I'm waiting for my huckleberry who works in that house over there to appear and take a walk with me. It would take away half of my love if I had to cail her my whortleberry. Better give it up and go home." W WHEN HE OPENED HIS EYES, VAS ALMOST OUT OF SIGHT. But Mr. Bowser wouldn't. He sauntered down the street and passed three or four pedestrians and Anally accosted a venerable looking man who had lived long ii the world and eaten all sorts of berries. "You?you know what a huckleberry is?" began Mr. Bowser. "I think I do," slowly replied the venerable man after recovering from his surprise, "but if you have any game to play, don't take me for a fool." "I have no era me. I siinnlv wish to settle a dispute. I contend that huckleberry and whortleberry are two different berries. The other party contends that they are the same thing." "And who is the other party?" "Well, it's my wife." "I see. Well, I congratulate and pity her at the same time." "What do you mean?" "I mean that she probably knows more than the average woman, but she has also got an ass for a husband." "Look here, you old reprobate." shouted Mr. Bowser, "don't talk that way to me. 1 asked you a plain question, and"? "And you are an ass, sir! Go home and acknowledge it to your wife." "By thunder, but 1 allow no old he goat to call me names. I'll give you one minute"? Mr. Bowser was lying in the snow when he opened his eyes, and the venerable man was almost out of sight. Five minutes later Mrs. Bowser heard the front door open, and she walked into the hall to see Mr. Bowser sneaking upstairs. "Is it whortleberry?" she asked. lie didn't reply. "Or is it huckleberry?" He didn't even halt to look down. He had suddenly decided that the huckleberry season was over. M. QUAD. At a Standstill. "Ho boasts that he doesn't advertise. but no s still clonic business at his olu stand." "He moans lie's (loins business at his old standstill."?Philadelphia Press. A Pnz/Io Imloed. ' This." declared the eminent orator, ''is the very key to the whole question." ''But," interrupted a small man in a rear seat, "where is the keyhole?"? J udge. . A Nervous Woman Will often feel compelled to stop the j 1 clock whose ticking seems unbearable to her. In such a nervous condition the woman needs a building up of the entire ! | system. It is useless to attempt the cure I ?^.t^3e nerves jjl^ ness remains uner j nervousness ' ^on '^e delicate : :W/ J?I Spjf Dr. Pierce's Favorite WS /' j HPfl Prescription cures /A I rail woman^y - <iiseasea and K i iV f t Qffln | nervousness which | j \ j ja* | ?aU^e* ^ c^an?ea -cpViifti wmVpti women heals inflammation and ulceration and cures female weakness. It is a perfect tonic and nervine, tranquilizing the nerves, promoting the appetite and inducing refreshing sleep. "When I first wrote vcu I had been to three different doctors and two of them said I would never get better without going to the hospital for an operation," writes Mrs. Selmu Erickson, of 49C Rice Street, St. Paul, Minn. ''Was r.ot able to do anything. If I would get up and walk to the kitchen ana back I would have to lie in bed for a day or sometimes two days. Now I have used six bottles of Dr. Pierce's Fcvorite Prescription aud six of the 'Golden Medical Discover}'.' and the result is just wonderful. I was so nervous I had to have some one by my side all the time even in day time, aud I coula hardly eat anything. I took treatment from a doctor twice a week, aud every time I would go there I felt so sick, but since I quit all the doctors and began taking your medicines I gained right along. I weighed 125 pounds, when I began taking your medicines (in August) and now I am up to lny usual weight 165. I am as well and feel as good as ever." Free. Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser is sent free on receipt of stamps to pay expense of mailing only. Send 21 one-cent stamps for the book in paper covers, or 31 stamps for clothbound volume. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. JJot to Hi? LIkins. He had just learned that he had been disinherited. "Still," they urged, "do not despair of success in life. Where there's a will A*. _ >? meres a way. "Yes," lie admitted, "but in the case of this will it's a darned poor way."? Chicago Post. Exclusive. Madge?Whom did you meet at Mi's. Climber's party? Ethyl?A lot of impossible people that nobody knows. I had to talk to myself to keep from being lonesome. ? San Francisco Town Talk. An Important Point. "Does he write poetry?" "Well, he calls it verse." "Calls it verse, does he? I wonder if that's real modesty or onlv affectation." UriErn ui uariiOn'. According to the Moslem creed the reason why every Mohammedan lady considers it her duty to wear earrings is attributed to the following curious legend: Saraii, trnaiuon reus us, was so jealous of the preference shown by Abraham for Hagar that she took a solemn vow that she would give herself no rest until she had mutilated the fair face of her liated rival and bondmaid. Abraham, who had knowledge of his wife's intention, did his utmost to pacify his iinbittered spouse, but long In vain. At length, however, she relented and decided to forego her plan of revenge. But how was she to fulfill the terms of the vow she had entered into? After mature reflection she saw her way out of the difficulty. Instead of disfiguring the lovely features of her bondmaid she contented herself with boring a hole in each of the rosy lobes of her ears. The legend does not inform us whether Abraham afterward felt it incumbent upon him to mitigate the smart of these little wounds by the gift of a costly pair of earrings or whether Hagar procured the trinkets for herself. The fact remains, however, that the Turkish women, all of whom wear earrings from their seventh year, derive the use of these jewels from Ilagar, who is held in veneration as the mother of Ishinael. the founder of their race. wantea. We would like to ask, through the columns of your paper, if there is any person who has used Greeo's August Flower for the cure of Indigestion, Dyspepsia and Liver Trouble that has not been cured?and we also mean their results, such as sour stomach, fermentation of food, habitual costivene8S, nervous dyspepsia, headaches, despondent feelings, sleeplessness?in fact, any trouble connected with the stomach or liver? This medicine has been sold for many years in all civilized countries, and we wish to correspond with you and send yon one of our books free of cost. If you never tried August Flower, try a 25 cent bottle first. We have never known of its failing. If so, something more serious is the matter with you. The 25 cent size has just been introduced this year. Regular size 75 cents. At all druggists. G. G. Green, Woodbury, N. J. Knew 1>Vlint lie Wanted. Politician?I'll (lo what 1 can to get work for you. Citizen?I don't want work; what I'm after is a city job.?Exchange. Poverty. He?Put poverty is no disgrace. She? Um-ni. no; but there are no medals connected with it either.? J udgc. A man never knows what a conscience lie has until asked to tell a Le to shield some one he never liked very well any way.?Atchison Globe. Z5he "Recruit and His Wondrous 'Boots As a sergeant was bawling out bis orders in a barracks in Dublin and watching the line of feet as the new recruits endeavored to obey the word of command, he found to his astonishment that one pair of feet, more noticeable on account of their extra large size, never turned. Without taking his eyes off those feet the sergeant bawled out a second order: "About faceT' He could see that all the feet except those he watched turned in obedience. Rushing up to the owner, a little fellow, he seized him by the shoulder, shouting: "Why don't you turn with the rest?" "I did," replied the trembling recruit. "You did, eh? Well, I watched your feet, and they never moved." "It's the boots they gave me, sir," said the poor fellow. "They're so large that when I turn my feet turn inside of them."?Dublin News. BaxincHN Notice. ^n^MBOaai I ' For Sale?Gentleman wishing to leave country will part with blooded [ English bulldog for small consideration."?Chicago News. I A Remarkable Case. One of the most remarkable case> of a cold, deep-seated on the luDgs, causing pneumonia, is that of M>k Gertrude E. Fencer, Marion, Ind., who was entirely cured by the use ot One Minute Cough Cure. She sayi-: "l'he coughing and straining s< weakened me that I run down iD weight from 148 to 92 pounds. 1 tried a number of remedies to no avail until I used One Minute Cougt Cure. Four bottles of this wonder ful remedy cured me entirely of the cough, strengthened my lungs aDd restored me to my normal weight, health and strength." J. E. Kauf mann. WEAK IN THE ALPHABET. Some Letter* That Men Can Never Learn to Make. "Why is it that with some men some letters of the alphabet are harder tc make than others and, in fact, that there are some letters that some men never learned how to make?" asked a young man who takes considerable interest in the matter of handwriting in the New Orleans Times-Democrat. "It is a rather singular fact that nearly every man outside of the experts is weak on one or more of the letters in the English alphabet. Sometimes the letter involved i3 a capital letter; some times it is of the smaller Kind; sometimes it is one letter and sometimes another. In any event, you will find few men who are exempt from the falling referred to. "I know of one man who In spite of the fact that he docs a great deal of writing has never learned how to make a capital P. He simply makes a stagger at it. and. as a rule, the result of his efforts will look more like a small p than like the capital P. I know another man who can't make a small f to save his life. He can never get the lower part of the letter below the line, lie makes it look like a clubfooted b instead of an f. There are others who, when ihov try to make the small b, give it the long shank, and it looks more like the letter f. It is rather singular that these traits should hang 011 to a man's writing for a lifetime, but they do it just the same, and if you make a few inquiries among your friends and acquaintances you will find that but few of tbeni are exempt from this fault. "It is very much like tlie habit of spelling certain words incorrectly. Many men who are rated as first class spellers pass through life without ever in a single instance spelling certain words correctly. It is due to habit largely. If you should ask them how to spell the word, thoy would tell you. I but, when they go to write it, that is quite different, and they will get it wrong every time. So they know, too, how certain letters should bo made, but thoy simply can't put them dowu on paper. It is a curious but common Cauit." The Stomach Is the Man. A weak stomach weakens the man, because it cannot transform the food he eats into nourishment. Health and strength cannot be restored to any sick man or weak woman without first restoring health and strength to the stomach. A weak stomach cannot digest enough food to feed the tissues and revive the tired and run down limb3 and organs of tbe body. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure cleanses, purifies, sweetens and strengthens the j glands and membranes of the stom- j ach. and cures indigestion, dyspepsia j and all stomach troubles. J. E. Kauftnaun. Thousands Hare Kidney Trouble and Don't Know it. How To Find Out. Fill a bottle or common glass with your water and let it stand twenty-four hours; a j , sediment or set- j rz tling indicates an J x/Am *WV/o) unhealthy condi- | rrrvj [ tion ?f kidly/\ 1 V ueys; if it stains y?ur *inen ^ ^ 4^?VrT?^7iU cv^encc ?* kidM \ 1 / SJ ney trouble; too ^\W/'/ X frequent desire to * Pass ^ or Pa^n 'n ~ " ^e back is also convincing proof that the kidneys and bladder are out of order. What to Bo. There is comfort in the knowledge so often expressed, that Dr. Kilmer's SwampRoot, the great kidney remedy fulfills every wish in curing rheumatism, pain in the iK'i r+\r VMnoiro am/] *?*A?mr mo . rwtuii^jr O, UiAUU^I dUU ^ V JT JJCLi i of the urinary passage. It corrects inability to hold water and scalding pain in passing it, or bad effects following use of liquor, wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant necessity of being compelled to go often during the day, and to get up many times during the night. The mild and the extraordinary ef.ect of Swamp-Root is soon realized. It stands the highest for its wonderful cures of the most distressing cases. If you need a medicine you should have the best. Sold by druggists in 50c. and$l. sizes. You may have a sample bottle of this wonderful ' discovery l and a book that tells mere about it, both sent absolutely free by mail, address Dr. Kilmer & Home of Swamp-Root. Co., Binghamton, N. Y. When writing mention reading this generous offer in this paper. abv a m a Mjp net* two hundred a/aff fift 9 8L fo ? younjr men and fw flat BnHa 8 ^ || ladies to Qualify WW H wmwP for paying positions. If you are Interested, write us for our handsome illustrated catalog. THE LANIER SOUTHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE, MACON. GA. November 19, 190Z?ly. a t iTAmT/>rn UHiJrJLAL DR. L. L. TOOLE, of North. 8. C. will be at Swan-ea, S. C., on the second Wednesday ol each month, and at Gaston, S. C.. on Thursday following. Oct. 29? 6m CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PENNYROYAL PILLS Safe. Alwavs reliable. Ladle*, ask Druggist for CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH in Red and Gold metallic boxes, sealed with blue ribbon. Take no other. Refuse dangerou* *ub?titutionM and imitation*. Buy of your Druggist, or send 4e. in stamps for Particular*. Te?ti? monial* and "Relief for Ladle*." in Mlcr, by return Holi. 10,000 Testimonials. Sold by all Drugpste. CHICHESTER CHEMICAL CO. ClOO aiadison Square, PIULi., PA. Hentlon this D???r. THE ENTIRE 0] 16o3-l(540 MA Columbia, cThis stock is nc to the retail tr; reduced oThis sale will not last very long as it convert same into cash in the oYon Know the Lii Dry Goods. niiffHIWft RTTft VUV A1UA1 V) AND REPRESENTS ONE 0 STA' Come Early Yours very truly, WM, F. F Wheele & Wilson No. 9 BALL BEARING ' SEWING MACHINES!!! Wonderfully Light Banning and Rapid. One-third faster; one third easier than any shuttle machine Save about mir n a if rii viinrr Unc uat in innct, Qaiet and durable. ' THEEE DRAWEES. FIVE DRAWEES, DROP HEAD AND CABINET STYLES. ORGAIffS. A lot of High Grade Organs very low for cash. One Chaple very near cost. 1900 BALLBEARING Washing Machines and Ball Bearing Wringers These are treasures No wet dresses and feet. Any seven or eight year old child can work it. Will cleanse the clothes in ten minutes. Will last lor years. T. KG. EEieieTr, 1801 MAIN ST., COLUMBIA, S. C. December 3, 1002. 3m PARKER'S J HAIR BALSAM JfiSlCTlcgiaes and beautifies the bate. wRgHSsiNi* fifl Promote* a lsxariant growth. atfi&'<?Qg== ^Wjiever Pails to Eoatore Gray Hair to its Youthfnl Color, riirw scalp diseases & hair lairing. JV 50c, and 11-00 at Druggjga___| UNO I Ml, UMUTSII US. Will Practice m all Court*, KAUFMANS BUILDING, LEXINGTON, S C On the 8th day of October, we formed * a co-partnership for the practice of law. We will be pleased to receive those having legal buRin^s to be attended to at oar office in the Kallmann building at any time. Besnecttolly. J, w* THURMOND. G BELL TIMMERMAX, October 22. 1902.?ly. Hilton's Life for the Liver and Kidneys tones ' in +ho c+nmarh up IIIU UlUIIIUUIII ; BIG STOCK F IX STEEET, - - - S. c. : >w being offered ade at greatly prices. is the wishes of all concerned to next thirty days if possible. ties Handled are IVTnf iAiifi i 11 UllVU^^ ES AND HATS, iF THE LARGEST IN THE TE. and Often. 'URTICK.