Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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The Lexington Dispatch Wednesday, October 8,1902. r ? Joke on a Dentist. The Newberry Observer tells the following of Dr. G. R. Harding: "Considerable amusement was created on Wednesday by a posted advertisement. Just outside the temporary office of a dentist the following notice in large letters was posted against the wall: 'Dr. G. R Harding, The Painless Tootn .fcxiracior, Is Now Here. Come In.' x "By pnre accident the dentist had posted his notice over the upper part of one of the bills of 'The Lonely Widow,' which appeared recently in the opera house, and immediately below the dentist's annoncement wasthe following in conspioious letters: 'One Solid Scream from Start to Finish \" The Worst Form. Multitudes are singing the praises of Kodol, the new discovery which - * ? -i- n Is making so many sick peopie wen and weak people strong by digesting what they eat, by cleansing and sweetening the stomach and by traos| . forming their food into the kind of pure, rich, red blood that makes yon feel good all over. Mrs. Cranfill, of Troy, I T, writes: For a number of f1 years I was troubled with indigestion , and dyspepsia which grew. into the worst form. Finally I was induced M; to use Kodol and after using four bottles I am entirely cured. I heartily recommend Kodol to all sufferers from indigestion and dyspepsia. Take a dose after meals. 4 It digests what you eat. *J E Kaufmann. - A Married Man's Musings. It's always a question with the originators of tbe fashions with women whether to make the sleeves too tight |ip or too loose. A Kansas man saved a widow from ' drowning and was married to her inside of three months. One can't be too careful. May is one of the unlucky months in which to get married. Therq are eleven others. Every wife should have a dictionary of synonyms. A fellow gets so tired bearing the same old words ? ? e _ after coming nome jaie irom sitting up with a sick friend. It's after be gets married that a fellow begins to devote special attention to hie explanation department. Few men who take a better half prepare for the worst Science says kissing causes disease. It has been known to cause palpita. tion of the heart The kindest hearted father would hardly refuse an offer to exchange a baby for a well-bred fox terrier during teething time. When a fellow's\ wife kisses him nowadays be can't be sore whether it is to show her love or to find i ut what he's been taking. Forty Tears' Torture. To be relieved from a torturing disease after 40 years' torture might well cause the gratitude of aDvone. That is what DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve did for C. Haney, Geneva. 0 He says: "DeWitt's Witch Hazfl cured me of piles after I had suffered 40 years." Cures cuts, burns wounds, skin diseases. Beware of c counterfeits. J. E. Kaofmann. it ? * Served Him Right. I once beard of a minister who boasted from his pulpit that ha was able to preach from anv text, in the Bible off hand, without thought or other preparation, and as.a fpstof hie talent in extemperanecus speaking, he invited bis congregation the n^xt Sunday to hand in any text thev would like him to preach from, when he would show tbem what he was able to do. In order that be might not be suspected of surreptitious preparation, the passages of scripture to be written on slips of paper, sealed up in envelopes and placed upon the pulpit immediately before the service. The next Sunday morning the pas tor came bounding in. pride and confidence gleaming in his eyep, and he found a number of sealed ervelopes lying upon the b;g Bible After the preliminary service he called atten- j * m tion to them, and said he would preach from the text contained in the envelope on the top of the pile. The remainder he would reserve for future Sabbaths. Tearing it open he uofolded a slip of paper and read the words once addressed to the prophet Balaam: "Am I not thine ass?"' Nothing tut Thoughts. The ever delightful "Uncle Silas" tells us in the American Thresherman that: Giving the devil his dues doesn't hinder him from beiDg a devil still. Everv time a church member goes | wroDg Satan gets oul an extra. We all make good resolutions, and most of us allow for the hem and shrinkage. When a man finds that marriage is a failure he wants it all put. in his wife's name. We might add that: We are judge not by what we f.re going to do but what we have done and are doing. When a wife is wrong she blames the other woman. When a man is betrayed be thinks his wife had considerable to do with it. People who elope never make provisions to have the fact recorded on their tombstone. There is no objection to a woman's XJUV a gl cat cumuiauu ui uupjv if she knows when not use it. SpeakiDg of home rule, what's the matter with that of the first baby? Chickens and Biscuits, Too. "When I was placed on my first charge as an intinerant Methodist peacber," said the Rev. James B. Anthony, a prominent divine down South, "I did not fare so well. My , next circuit was different. The very first day of my arrival I called my congregation together and said to them: "Brethren, I have come to you as your pastor to do what good I can for you and dwell in peace and harmony with you. Let me say I am as good as you and yon are as. good as I am. I am willing to live i a8 you live. If you live on corn bread and fat bacon, that's good enough for me, but if you live on chicken and biscuit, this parson is bound to live on chicken and biscuit, too." c m A Novel Suit. A former candidate for Lieutenant Governor of North Carolina has brought suit for $15,000 damages against the Seaboard Air Line R. R. ? .. M I t t_ . ?_ 5 .a lor an "egging wnicn ne received at the hands of some small boys while he was waiting at the defendant's station to take a' train. It appears that the plaintiff was mnch given to public speaking and had on the day in question made a speech in the town in which the egg episode occurred. The Court will very likely take judicial notice of the fact that a contribution of stale eggs is the ordinary and natural result of a certain kind of speech-making and will refuse to hold the railroad responsible for the direct consequences of the plaintiff's own act. Secretary Shaw's Plan. President Roosvelt Does Not Approve of it Washington, Oct. 3 ?It is learned here today on positive authority that the President knew nothing of Secretary Shaw's plan torelieve the money market by accepting state and municipal bonds as security for National bank circulation and abolishing the twenty-five per cent, reserve, until a formal announcement of the fact was made in New York. It is doubtful whether President Roosevelt will accept Secretary Shaw's liberal con struction of the law. Comptroller Ridgely has the power to nullify the Secretary's action and it is reported that he has not yet decided whether be will give his approval to the steps taken or not. Let our lady friends read this expression of appreciation from Mrs. LulaFrady,of Uree,N.C: "I am void of words to adequately express my apppreciation of Ramon's Liver Pills and Tonic Pellets. I was a great suffer when I began the use of this treatment. They have completely changed my life from one of suffering to healthful enjoyment. "Only 25c. f 9 B?????TJ-?? Girls in Love. An old lady sayt: "Girls in love ain't aDy good the blessed week Sunday in the morning, they're looking down the road expecting he'll come. Sunday afternoon they can't think of nothing else, 'cause he's here. Monday they're sleepy and blue. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday they get absent-minded and begin to look off towards Sunday again, and mope 'round and let the dish water get cold right under their noses. Friday they break dishes and go cff in the best room and sn'cker and lookout of the window. Saturday * < 1 _ they have queer spurts or wording and spurts of frizzing hair. And Sunday they begin it. all over again. America's Famous Beauties Look with horror on Skin Eruptions, Blotchep, Sores, Pimples. They don't have tbem. Dor will any one who uses Bucklen's Arnica Salve. It glorifies the face. Eczema or Salt Kheum vanish before it. It cures sore lips, chapped hands, chilblains. Infallible for Piles. 25c at J. E Kaufmann's drug store. Want Representation. The Governor has received a request from the Secretary of the Republican committee of Beaufort county asking that Republicans be givemrecognition in the appointment of commissioners of election, and that Geo. A. Reid and M. J. Kenedy, Republicans of that county, be given places on the State and Federal boards. This request is a result of a meeting held there recently, at which a resolution somewhat similar to the one adopted by the State committee was passed. The Governor replied that the commissioners of election have already been appointed. 'Tis This 'Tis Pity. . It is said that an editor recently announced that for just one issue he would tell the truth, the whole truth, naked and unvarnished, says the Lyre. That is, the truth was to be naked and unvarnished. Here is one item ? rrom mat issue: "Married?Miss Sylvia Smith to Mr. James Caruaham, last Saturday, at the Baptist parsonage. The bride is a very ordinary girl about town who doesn't know any more than a rabbit about cooking, aDd never helped her poor old mother three days in her life. She is not a beauty by a long shot, and has a gait like a fat duck. The groom is known as an up to-date loafer and has been living off his mother all his life. They will have a tough time of it." The Best Prescription for Malaria Chills, and Fever is a bottle of Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic, it is simply iron and quiDine in a tasteless from. No cure, no pay. Price 50c. Shoved Dirt. There was a jovial party at the cotton exchange a few days ago. George Ameride said that while out riding from Savannah he saw a typical Southern matron outside a cabiD, while on the lawn a bevy of colored children were playing. ' You've got some fine looking children, Auntie," he said. U4Ded I had, boss," she replied. "Dere aint any pickaninnies in de whole State of Georgia dan dat first seben, but dat eight one, dat mulatto, she show dirt so easy!"' S CURES WHERE ALL ELSEFA1LS, Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use ^ in time. Sold by druggists. (?f Timely "Warning. A paper in GoldeD, Colorado, rased in many delirquents on the ground of this eloquent appeal: "You may approximate the stars in a nail keg. hang the ocean on a grapevine tc drv. wine the nose of a cvclone witt ? j i --r- -w a towel, cut off the tail end of a tor i nado for a keepsake, put the sky ir the ground to soak, unbuckle the beliy-band of eternity and open uj the sun and moon as health resorts but never be deluded with the idei that you can escape the other side o: purgatory if you don't pay for you: paper." DeWltt's Salve For Pilesy Burnsf Sores. Over=Work Weakens Your Kidneys. Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood. All the blood in your body passes through your kidneys once every three minutes. fThe kidneys are your blood purifiers, they filter out the waste or impurities in the blood. If they are sick or out of order, l hey fail to do their work. Pains, aches and rheumatism come from excess of uric acid in the blood, due to neglected kidney trouble. Kidney trouble causes quick or unsteady heart beats, and makes one feel as though they had heart trouble, because the heart is over-working in pumping thick, kidneypoisoned blood through veins and arteries. It used to be considered that only urinary troubles were to be traced to the kidneys, but now modern science proves that nearly all constitutional diseases have their beginning in kidney trouble. If you are sick you can make no mistake by first doctoring your kidneys. The mild and the extraordinary effect of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, the great kidney remeay is soon realized. It stands the highest for its wonderful cures of the most distressing cases and is sold on its merits ^ by all druggists in fiftycent and one-dollar sizes. You may have a sample bottle by mail Home of swamp-Root, free,' also pamphlet telling you how to find out if you have kidney -or bladder trouble. Mention this paper when writing Dr. Kilmer 0. o. D:-NT V QL UU., DlUgiid.mi.Vil, 11. i . CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PENNYROYAL PILLS Safe. Always reliable. Ladles. ask Druggist for CHICHESTER'S EXULISl! in Red and Gold metallic boxes, sealed 'With blue ribbon. Take no oilier. Refuse dansreroun substitution* and Imitations. Buy of your Druggist, or send 4c. in stamps for Particulars. TeatimoniaU and "Relief for Ladie*," in letter, hy return Mall. 10.000 Testimonials, bold by all Druggist*. CHICHESTER CHEMICAL CO. 2200 Sladiion Siqnaro, P1IILA., Pi, Mention tbla 3?a?r. May, 14, 19)3. eow MATHUSHEK PIANOS, . . A V NOTED FOR SWEETNESS AND PURITY OF TONE, POWER AND DURABILITY. Beat piano lor this trying climate, stands in tone longer than otners, constructed of best materials and most artistic workmanship obtainable. Upto-date in every detail and unequalled. o Sold by Us Continuously for Over 32 Years Without a single failure. If you want a piauo or a lifetime's service BUY THE MATHUSHEK! o Prices as low as is consistent *ith qualify. Cash or on easy terms. Sent on 15 days'trial. We pay freight. Write lor prices TODAY. T I I f; T1 I ... LiMMfi ' SOUTHERN MUSIC HOUSE, SAVANNAH, - - - GA. ,TNO n Mp HPPY. Mavaofr ESTABLISHED, 1 870, September 10, 19?_-3 ly. | Crimson Ciorer j | will yield under favorable condi- I 1 tions 8 to 10 tons of green food per F % acre, or 1? to 21 tons of hay and J b is worth as a fertilizing crop, $20. f 1 to $23. per acre. Full information a 1 is contained in our Fall Catalogue 1 I just issued, which we will mail free fi F upon request. F | Wood's Fall Catalogue also tells | i I all about Vegetable and Farm | I | Seeds for Fall Planting, Seed g Wheat,'Oats, Rye, Barley, 1 Vetches, Grass and F | k Clover Seeds, etc. 0 C Write for Fall Catalogue and % & prices of any Seeds desired. J ! I T. W. WOOD & SONS, 1 r | Seedsmen, = Richmond, Va. I I l I Thousands Saved By ; 111. KING'S REIT DISCOVERyl | This woncferrul medicine posi-I ' Btively cures Consumption, CoughsB J 1 Colds, Bronchitis, Asthma, Pneu-B f Imonia, Hay Fever, Pleurisy, La-i r I Grippe, Hoarseness, Sore Throat, | Croup and Whocping Cough.| g Every bottle guaranteed. No I Cure. No Pay. Price 50c.&$i.| Trial bottle free. j SOUTHERN |J i THE GREAT HIGHWAY Resorts of the ?outh with the <?? I NORTH, EAST and WEST. |j High-Class Vestibule Trains, Through Sleeping-Cars flj between New York and New Orleans, via Atlanta. Eg ;i Cincinnati and Florida Points via Atlanta and via i > Asheville. New York and Florida, either via Lynchburg, Danville ?4 and Savannah, or via Richmond, Danville and I Savannah. nj 4 Superior Dining-Car Service on all Through Trains. Excellent Service and Low Rates to Charleston account South Carolina Znter-State and West Indian Exposition. ' | | I Winter Tourist TicKets to all Resorts now on sale at H g reduced rates. H vj Per detailed Information, literature, time table*, rate*, etc., apply to nearest tlcket*agent, or address | S. H. HARD WICK, W. H. TATLOI, S General Passenger Agent, Asst. Gen. Pas*. Agent, Washington, D. C. Atlanta, Ga. U R.. W. HUNT, J. C. BEAM, Dlv. Passenger Agent, District Pa**. Agent. Charleston, S. C. Atlanta, Ga. B I PEBRUARY 10, IS02. wm? " 1 : - ' 10 / i SEABOARD I AIR LTTVE RAILWAY. NORTH-SOUTH-EAST- WEST.j , Two Daily Pullman Vestibule Limited Trains Between ^ rNTTmTT a TVTT-V TV f TT IF**. J t_J JL JCJ* JL>r x* ji x v jl First-Class Dining Car Service J Tbe Best Rates and Route to all Eastern Cities Via Richmond, and Washington, or via IV or!oik hdcI Steamers to Atlanta . 3V ash. ville, Memphis. Louisville Ht. Louis <_ liicagfo, IV ew Orleans, and All Points South and Southwest?to savannah and .Jacksonville and all points in Florida and Cuba. Positively the Shortest Line Between I NORTH AND HOUTH. J&ST'For detailed inforinaaon, rates, schedules, Pullman leservations, &c , apply to auy agent of The Seaboard - - ? m ii m __.ii | i Air Line Railway or to j. j. ruuer, -travelling Pa??enger AgeD:, Columbia, ?>. C. C. B. WOLWORTH, Asst. Gen. P. Agt., 1 SAVANNAH, OA. Cares CI^s-IbMiib, bU N(f MWWsMJ* the Boweb, Strenfthens ^ 25 Mis at ^^sts, ^EIhing EAS? mail 25 eeati to C. U. MOFFETT. M. D? ST. LOUIS, MO. Orncs o? D. H. Exudy, Secretary of State, Arsrw, Tex,, Nor. 21,1900. I hare found Dr. Moffett's TEE THIN A a splendid remedy and aid for my teething children. When my oldest boy was a teething child, erery succeeding day warned na that we would inevitably lose him. I happened upon TEETHINA, and began at once admii#stenng it to him, and hia improrement was marked in 24 hoars, and from that day on he recuperated. I hare constantly kept it and used it since with my children, and hare taken great treasure in sounding its praises to all mothers of young children. I found it invaluable even after the teething MUS TV HL FTARDY. period was passed. ?? g (iP^H^n ANE*INplAN TER. /? Are b^streacfh^by^he Colton Belt, Wnich line! w <?/ runs two trains a^ayjfrornMi mphis to Texas', f * f without change. xheseVtrains ei/ner reach? ^^rp"ita^Tr director makejclose c^nne^o^Vv^^^^ i j for alf parts oflexas^u^anoma i a I and ipdian Territory. \ \ :^^s^asr^cssi-y^^ 1 , /T. WORT! (J < stamfoho{^^hrevepoqt 7 GAlESVILLES^tij^^l/^1^ ^///\_ ^ U. /V UNViQCLOS y/ - ^LUFKlN \ i saw awtcwio./^^^ i i If you want to flnvd a a/ood home houstow'A^-^rw'^ y? i in Texas, where ybi^crops are _^^gai.ve3tow 2/v a raised and where pe\^leprosper. J ^"\1 3 wnitt iur a uuijj ui uui uiaiiuoumo y booklets, "Homes in tne) South- v | 1 west" and "Through Tepas with ) a a Camera." Sent freeutolany- C 3 ^%^0h?i3a"ioustubetw\^/ N. E. 6AI8D, T. P. 1., ATLANTA, GA. I ^ E. W, LaBLAIJME, G. P. t T. A.. ST. LQL'iS. 10. J 0 hps n T. R007RR & S01NTS U J_ t U ?J LA? X/V VMJ? _ 1515 MAIN STREET, COLUMBIA, S. C. 'JPUOINE 230.