The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, September 24, 1902, Page 2, Image 2
[FAMOUS ILLUSIONS.
!*
SOME SECRETS OF PROFESSIONAL
CONJURERS REVEALED.
Bow the Mysteries Are Destroyed
i and the Tricks Shorn of Their '
s Charm by a Peep at the Mechanism 1
; Behind the Scenes.
?
A behind the scenes view of the fa- j
mous illusions with which conjurers j
have mystified and delighted genera- j
tion after generation has peculiar fasci- ;
nations. There are few of us who
value our own childish illusions so
highly that we will not part with them j
for the fun of seeing now we nave Deen
fooled.
Here are examples of some of the
best known tricks:
The box trick is a3 clever as well
known and as old as any. A heavy,
brass bound chest is exhibited. An assistant
is placed in a large canvas bag,
the mouth of which is securely fas- '
tened, and the bag is placed in the
chest, which is locked and roped.
The box is concealed for a few seconds,
and when it is revealed the occupant
is sitting upon it, the closed and
sealed bag beside him. The cords and ;
seals on the box are intact.
This astonishing feat is accomplished
thus: The occupant of the bag has inserted
a wooden plug in the mouth
while the tying is being done. When (
^ the chest is locked, he pulls it out, slips
r out his hand, pulls off the cords, gets
out and replaces the cords over the top
of the sack.
By the time the chest is roped he is j
free. The chest has a secret opening, j
usually at the end, and while it is hid- j
den he crawls out. A slim man is
usually employed to do the trick.
The vanity fair trick is one of the j
most baffling in the repertory of the j
black art. A woman stands before a !
large mirror about ten feet high and j
placed in a heavy frame. About three j
feet from the floor is a small shelf :
placed against the mirror, the bottom
/ of which is about eighteen inches from
the floor. The glass having been duly
Inspected, the young woman mounts
the shelf. }She then turns to arrange
her hair by the mirror. She is asked to
face the audience, but again and again
turns her back, hence the name of the I
trick.
Finally, losing patience, the perform- j
thrn?ta n Rmnll srrppn in front of i
her, fires a pistol at the spot where
she was standing, snatches away the
screen, and she has vanished.
The top. bottom and sides of the mirror
have been in view all the time and j
only the center has been hidden for a
few seconds.
The secret lies in the fact that the
lower part of the. mirror is made
double, the bottom of the upper pafrt
being concealed by a second sheet of
silvered glass placed in front of it.
The shelf fits against the line of
junction, and enables the mirror to-be |
examined by the audience. As soon as j
the screen is placed the mirror slides
up about a foot into the top of the
* frame. The bottom of this mirror is |
cut away in the middle, leaving a hole
about eighteen inches square, which
was previously concealed from view i
by the double glass at the tase.
Through this hole the lady instantly
slips, and escapes by a board which j
has been pushed forward from behind
the scenes while the vanity fair byplay
was going on. The glass then ,
slides down again, the screen is re- j
moved, and the mirror appears just
as solid as it was before.
Another of the most astounding feats
of modern magic is that of making a
person or object apparently float in the
air. A couple of ordinary chairs are
placed on the stage?well toward the
back, which is draped with black cloth
?and ujkju these is laid a broad, thick
plank. A young lady is then introduced
and is assisted to place herself
in a recumbent position on the plank.
He then draws aside the chairs, and
the plank, with the lady on it, remains
apparently suspended in the air. To
prove that the plank is not supported,
the exhibitor takes a large hoop and
passes it backward and forward over
and around the plank.
Yet there is an attachment. As soon
as the lady is placed in position on
the board a carriage, placed behind the
black curtain and supporting a strong
iron bar twice bent upon itself, is
pushed forward by an assistant so that
the iron bar, which is covered with
black cloth, comes out through a slit
in the curtain while the exhibitor is
pretending to mesmerize the lady. The
, bar has at its end a very strong clip,
and the performer, while making his
hypnotic passes, guides this on to the
board. The chairs are then removed,
and the board remains suspended by
the invisible iron bar.
The hoop is passed along from one
end until it reaches the bend where
the bar passes through the curtain.
The performer passes it round the end
of the board and himself walks behind,
passing the ring along in the opposite
direction. Next it is brought
back again, and the effect is such that
the average spectator is convinced that
the hoop has really been passed over
the lady and the board from end to
end.
Another very effective illusion, arranged
upon the same principle, show3
the head and bust of a lady supported
on a three legged stool resting on a
small table. One can apparently see
not only between the legs of the table
to the back of the stage, but through
' At. _ -X 1 ^ 4.-U ^ 4.^
the space Derween tee sukjj auu me iable.
' In this case the three legged stool is
arranged with mirrors precisely in
the tripod illusion, but the table, which
has four legs, is managed differently.
A large mirror is placed diagonally under
the table, joining to opposite leg*.
Thus the spectators really only see#
three of the legs, the fourth being simply
the reflection of the first.?New
.York World.
A GOOD PRESCRIPTION.
Laughter as a Stomach Care and an
Aid to Health.
Worry is but one of the many forms
of fear, so that vrorrv tends to the
production of indigestion. Indigestion
tends to put the body of the subject in
a condition that favors worry. There
is thus established a vicious circle
Which tends to perpetuate itself, each
element augmentiug the other.
It is necessary to secure a cheerful,
wholesome atmosphere for the dyspeptic.
He should eat his meals at a
table where there is good fellowship
and where funny stories are told. He
should himself make a great effort to
contribute his share of this at the table,
even if it be necessary, as it was in one
case under my care, for him to solemnly
and seriously collect funny paragraphs
from the press, and at first interject
them spasmodically during lulls
in the conversation at the table. The
very efforts and determination of the
mar to correct his own silent habits at
table, to correct his feelings of discouragement
and worry, were in themselves
a promise of success. The effort
made was adequate to the obstacles
to be overcome. He succeeded, and
the spectacle of that man trying to !
be funny at table when he felt tlior- J
oughly discouraged and blue is one we j
shall never forget.
Laughing is in itself also a useful
exercise from the standpoint of digestion.
It stirs up all the abdominal !
organs, it increases the circulation of |
the blood, it increases peristalsis, it increases
the secretion of gastric juices.
Five minutes' deliberate laughing after
each meal would be an excellent pre- ,
Bcription for some people.?Family Doctor.
THE BIRTH OF JAPAN.
Curious Legend of tbe Creation
Handed Down by the Japanese.
The following is the curious legend
+K.-. .ivnutinn oo t* ic tnWI in .Tnnsinr
Ui LliC V-ita wv/ii U a V aw w.v. ? v
Clouds formed the bridge ou which
once god Yzanaghi and his spouse
Yzanuma stood pondering on the riddle
of existence, whether the beginnings
of worlds and the beginnings of
life lay slumbering in that sea of
chaos. Yzanaghi, apparently more enterprising
than philosophically inclined,
seized his shimmering spear
and plunged it into the black and
seething flood. Pulling it up again, he
discovered seven salt drops on its diamond
point, which, dropping, condensed
and formed the island of Cusokorosima.
Thereupon Yzanaghi and his spouse
selected the spot of earth which had
thus been created as their permanent
dwelling place and peopled it with innumerable
genii of animal and. plant
life and spirits of the elements. And
around this "palace of immortality"
rose eight other islands?Awadsit the
island of foam: the mountainous Cho,
Yamato, blessed with fruit; Yyo, unsurpassed
in its beauty; the quinquangular
Tslkousi. Sado, rich in copper
and gold; Yki, one of the pillars of
heaven, and Oko, surrounded by three
satellites.
Such was the birth of Japan, of that
curious land of Fusiyama, with its
amiable population of artist artisans,
its graceful teahouses, its glistening
silks, its grotesque dwarf trees, its
rehit^ crsnes and dreamy lotus ponds.
?Harper's Magazine.
Brain Food Nonsense.
Another ridiculous food fad ha9
been branded by the most competent
authorities. They have dispelled the
silly notion that od? kind of food is
i needed for brain, another for muscles
j and still another for bones. A correct
diet will not only nourish a par:
ticular part of the body, but it will
\ sustain every other part. Yet, however
good your food may be, its nutriment
is destroyed by indigestion or
I dyepep9ia. Y.ju muot prepare for
j tneir appearance or prevent their
; comiDsr by takiog' regular doses of
1 Green's August Fiower, the favorite
! medicine of the healthy millions. A
lew doses aids digestion, stimulates
the liver to healthy sctiOD, purifies
| the blood, and make4* you feel buoyj
snt aDd vigorous. You can get this
reliable remedy at KaufmaDn's Drug
Srnrp. Get, Grpen's Soccial Almanac.
51?3-2
I
The Tired Foot.
| A lady was watching a potter at his
i work whose one foot was kept with a
j "never slackening speed turning his
' swift wheel round" while the other
f rested patiently on the ground. When
j the lady said to him in sympathizing
| tone, "How tired your foot must be!"
! the man raised his eyes and said: "No,
i ma'am; it isn't the foot that works
that's tired. It's the foot that stands.
, That's it"
If you want to keep your strength,
! use it. If you want to get tired, do
I nothing. As a matter of fact, we all
i know that the last man to give a help!
Ing hand to any new undertaking is
i the man who has plenty of time on his
hands. It is the man and woman who
: are doing the most who are always
i willing to do a little more."?Philadelphia
Ledger.
: O^es His Life to a Neighbor's
Kindness.
Mr. D P. Daugberty, well known
j throughout; Mercer and Sumner
I counties, W. Ya, most likely owes
! l is life to the kindness of a neighbor
He was almost hopeless tfHicted with
; diarrhoea; was attended by two phy:
sicians who gave bira little, if any,
eli?f, when a neighbor learning of
bis serious condition, brought him 8
bottle of Chamberlaiu's Colic, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy, which cured
him in less than twenty-four hours.
For sale by J. E. KaufmaDn.
The man on the stage who does the
trick of escaping from firmly tied ropes,
submits to the bonds with a smile. He
knows he can get out of the ropes that
are being knotted. Put the same man in
the woods and let Indian captors bind
him to a tree for torture and he would
struggle to the last against the bonds.
When the stomach is diseased there
are bonds being woven every hour about
the organs dependent on the stomach?
heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, etc. The
folly of mankind is to passively submit
to the fastening of these bonds with no
effort to escape until the pain they cause
arouses fear.
Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
cures diseases of the stomach and other
organs of digestion and nutrition. It
cures diseases of heart, liver, lungs, kidneys
and other organs, when these diseases,
as is often the case, have their
origin in the diseased stomach.
"For a long time I was suffering and was
hardly able to get about," writes Mr. Andrew J.
Jennings, of Thomas, Tucker Co., W. Va., Box
194.. "Was bothered with kidney trouble and
my whole system was out of order; had no
appetite. A friend of mine told me to try Dr.
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. I did so
and the first bottle restored my appetite. I took
si* bottles of ' Golden Medical Discovery' and
some of the * Pleasant Pellets' and feel like a
new person."
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cleanse !
the clogged system from impurities.
OLD MAN SCHMIDT.
HE CALLS AGAIN ON HIS FRIEND,
THE GERMAN COBBLER.
They Talk About n Xetv Book and
Snicide, and Finally Agrree to Die
Iii Each Other's Arms?A Policeman
Spoils Their Plans.
[Copyright, 1902. by C. B. Lewis.]
I LIKE ilot old man Schmidt. He
und me was two Dootchmans together
in der old country, und we
come by America on der same
ship. Sometimes he comes in my place
und sits und smokes und groans und
don't say nottings, but some other
times he vhas full of talk und tells me
all his troubles. Dot other day vheu
I put a cement patch on a shoe und
don't half 140 more work Schmidt
comes in und sayS:
"Hans, if you look at me do you pelief
I vhas some greenhorns?*'
"Not 011 her life," I says. "Does
somepody calls you greenhorns?"
"Yes?my wife. She says 1 vhas so
green der cows eat me up. I don't pelief
it, und I like to ask you."
"Does somet'ings happen to you
pooty queek?"
"Vbell, maype. Do you ever hear of
some pook called 'Dose Americans Who
Make America?'"
"I don't pelief so. Vhas he like some
family almanac mit der full moon in?"
"No. She vhas two t'ousand i "gcs
big, und she haf two t'ousand pictures
of der biggest men in dis country. She
vhas bound in calves, mit gold edges,
und she last five hoonered years."
"By golly, but dot vhas better ash
some ice cream! I like to haf a pook
for fife hoonered years. Don't she haf
more ash two t'ousand big men In
him?"
"Shust two t'ousand und no moFe.
Each one has a picture und a page. It J
tells who he vhas und all aboudt him,
und vhen he vhas deadt his shildren |
read dot pook. I told dot agent to |
come down und see you. Maype you
vhas big enough to go in dot pook if
you like to. Vhas he here?"
"If he vhas, I don't see him. Did he
lr tnif T-nn i
C^'VO-AV AAA J V. ,? VU
"He did. Last ^veek lie comes in my
place und says vhas I old Schmidt. I
vhas. All right. He reads of me in der
' * ' I
"OLD SCEMIDT, YOTT VHAS TEX JACKASSES
UND FOOLS!"
I papers und comes up from Philadelphia
to see ine. He don't like to get dot
pook oudt unless I vhas in it, und he
shows me der names of one t'ousand
big men. I see Shorge Washington,
Abraham Lincoln, Grofer Cleveland
und all soocli men."
"By George, but dot vhas great! Does
he want some money to put you in dot
pook?"
"Yes?one hoonered dollars. For one
hoonered dollars I vhas on page 14. between
Lincoln and Grant. Dot makes
me ash big ash anybody, und maype I
don't haf to pay fare on der street cars
no more. I like you to be in dere, too,
Hans, if you can pay one hoonered dollars."
"But I can't. I can't pay one hoon,
ered cents. If I yhas a big mans, no
pody vhill find him out." Docs it please
your wife dot you go in dot pook?"
"No. I speak to her about it, but she
says I vhas some fool und vhill get
swindled. It was all jealousy. It vhas
two t'ousand big men und no women,
und dot makes her mad."
"But you go in der pook all der
same?" I says.
"Shust der same. Der price vhas
high, but if you vhas a big mans you
don't mind it. Yes, I goes in dot pook,
und der agent writes me oop. I come
in to show you. Listen to dis:
" 'Dot oldt man Schmidt vhas porn in
Shermany a long while ago, und vhen
he vhas a young mans he comes oafer
to America mit brass buttons on his
coat.
" 'He vhas poor und proud und respectables,
und he work in a grocery
for $8 a month. In two years he vhas
like Shorge Washington.
"'Vhen he grows oop to own dot
grocery, der peoples like to run him
for alderman, but ne aon t care ror orfice,
und lie vlias some honest man.
" 'He has one w'fe, who vhas a treasure,
und his only son Joe vhill climb
oop to dor top if he keeps on like he
vhas.
" 'Mr. Schmidt can t ride a bicycle
nor cut some pigeon wings on roller
skates, but he vhas good natured,
cheerful und ready to help others.
" 'If some war breaks oudt in America,
he vhill be found alongside der patriots,
a gun on his shoulder, a flag in
his hand und a wish to perish in his
enthusiastic heart. Don't you make no
mistake on old Schmidt.
" 'We like to say aboudt dis great
mans dot he vhas some greenhorns
when he first comes to America, but
by und by he vhas so sharp dot nopody
can beat him for two cents. More ash
ten peoples try to swindle him eafery
day, but it vhas all in vain.
"'Finally-we like to say or ais mans
dot lie vhas ash big ash Washington,
ash good ash Lincoln und ash brave
ash Grant und dot at his grocery vhill
be found all der best goods at der
cheapest prices. If you don't see vhat
you wants, ask for her.' "
While der old man Schmidt vhas
reading all dis to mc dot little Sherman
tailor comes in to find out about
it. Pooty queek he says:
"How mooch you haf to pay for all
dot. my frendt?"
"One hoonered dollars. Vhy don't
you come in dot pook too? You vhas
new und secondhand clothes und a big
mans."
"Vhere vhas dot agent?"
"Pie goes home to Philadelphia to get
some clean shirts."
"Do you pay him one hoonered dollars
in adwance?"
"Of course. He deals mit two t'ousand
big men, but he don't trust, you
see. It vhas cash in adwance from eaf
erypody."
"Old Schmidt, you vhas ten jack*
asses und fools!" says der little tailor.
"Why vhas I?"
"Because dot mans vhas some swindlers
und don't neffer come back here
again nor publish a pook. You vhas
beat. Yrou vhas took in. You vhas
done oop."
"How can it be?" groans Schmidt.
"It can be because your head vhas
putty. You shall go und sell him to
some paint store, und Hans shall liaf
a rattle box und a milk bottle und be a
baby again."
Yken der tailor vhas gone out. old
Schmidt looks at me, und I look at
him. After ten minutes tears vhas in
his eyes, und he says:
"Hans, dis vhas a wicked world."
"She vhas," I says.
"Und we vhas two good mans."
"We vhas."
"Und we don't haf some business to
oe anvc.
"We don't."
"Den let us die in each other's arm?
! und go to boafen."
"I vhas agreed.''
Und we should not be alife today but
for dot fat policeman. lie comes py
my shop und takes old Schmidt by der
neck und throws him out, und I vhas
clubbed through der back door, und he
shakes his list at my wife und says:
"AVomans, 3*011 look a leetle oudt! If
I hear of some more sorrow around
here, you shall all go to jail for six
months." M. QUAD.
A Parson's Noble Act.
' I want all the world to know,''
writes Rev. C 'J. Budlong, of Ashway,
R I., "what a thoroughly good
and reliable medicine I found in
Electric Bitters. Tney cured me of
jaundice and liver troubles that had
caused me great suffering for maDy
years. For a genuine, ail-around
cure they excel anything I ever saw/'
Electric Bitters are the surprise of
all for their wonderful work in Liver,
! Kidaey and btomacn trouoies. jl?od i
fail to try them. Oaly 50c. Satisfaction
guaranteed by J. E. Kaufmann.
The Man and the Wave.
Once upon a time a man was telling
a tale of woe that unveiled his matrimonial
experience.
"It was all on account of a little
dainty handkerchief," he said. "The
first time that I saw the girl and before
we had been introduced she waved
that bit of lace at me, and I was carried
away. It was a fall in love and
then matrimony. But, alas, that deli?i
n. ?-.o Imlnv tn tho
CHIC* lJaiJUM'ItUlCl v> ?io
girl's nature, and I found myself
wrecked on the sea of matrimony."
Moral.?A man may be carried away
by a wave and wrecked without going
near the water.?New York Herald.
Wanted n Lower Key.
Spatts?My love, I wish you would
alter the key of your voice.
Mrs. Spatts?What's the matter with
it?
Spatts?Oh, nothing; only from the
expression of Eliza Jane's face after
our recent argument I'm certain it
fits every keyhole in the house.?Town
and Country.
/ Mrs. Laura. S. Webb,
I Vice-President Woman's Democratic
Clubs of Xortbern Ohio.
"I dreaded the change of life which
I was fast approaching. I noticed Wine
I of Cardui, and decfded to try a hot1
tie. I experienced some relief the J
I first month, so I kept on taking it for I
) three months and now I menstruate
with no pain and I shall take it off and
on now until 1 have passed the climax." |
Female weakness, disordered I
menses, falling of the womb and 1
ovarian troubles do not wear off. 1
They follow a woman to the change 1
of life. Do not wait but take Wine
of Cardui now and avoid the trouble.
Wine of Cardui never fails I
to benefit a suffering woman of I
any age. Wine of Cardui relieved I
1 Mrs. Webb when she was in dan- I
1 ger. When you come to the change I
I of life Mrs. Webb's letter will I
I mean more to you than it does fi
I now. But you may now avoid the 1
M suffering she endured. Druggists I
sell $1 bottles of Wine of Cardui. 1
VWiNE?rCARDUjJ
A Cool Gamcnter.
"Lady," said Meandering Mike, "de
greatest pleasure dat I could find in
life would be to chop some wood for
you"?
"I don't want any wood chopped."
"Or carry some water from de
spring"?
"I've got a well right at the kitchen
/i^,.?
UVV1 .
"Or shoo de cows in from de pasture"?
"I haven't any cows. We buy our
milk."
"Well, lady, I've made three guesses
about what I could do to help you
along. Now it's your turn. An' I don't
mind givin' you a small hint dat victuals
an' clotkes'll be purty near de
answer. It's a nice game, lady, an' I
t'ink you're goin' to be lucky."?Washington
Star.
Tlie Taxpayer's Joy.
Tnrlrrp?T fpll vnil Klinkers is haDDV.
He feels as if he has just found money.
Fudge?How's that?
"He has employed a lawyer, who has
succeeded in having his taxes lowered
$b."
"What was the lawyer's fee?"
"Ten dollars, I believe."?Baltimore
Herald.
The Problem.
"I have a perfect horror of marrying
a poor man and living in a small way."
"But, darling. I shall grow."
"Ah. but will you develop financially
as fast as I develop in social ambition?"?Life.
Zf the Baby is Cutting Teeth.
Be sure and use that old and well
tried remedy, Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Syrup for children teething. It
soothes the child, softens the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind colic and
is the best remedy lor aiarrnoes.
Twenty-live cents a bottle.
It is the best of all.
Mistrustful.
Lawyer?Iri order to defend you I
must know the whole truth. Have
you told me everything?
Client?Everything except where I
hid the money. I want to keep that
for myself!
First Fall Sons.
The summer winds are passing.
The cooler days are near;
The pert bluejay is sassing
And says that fall is near.
And soon each hardy 'leven
Will punt the ball and train,
And in six weeks or seven
We'll have football again.
?Chicago Xew*.
?
Fortune Favors A Tesan.
'-Having distressing pains in bead,
' J on/3 kot'no njillinnf,
08 C tv bCU ft LUUIQIjU) uuu cvj
appetite, I began to use Dr. King's
New Life Pille," writes W. P. Whitehead,
of Kennedale, Tex , "and soon
felt like a new mau." Infallible in
stomach and liver troubles. Only
25c at J. E. Kaufmann's drug store.
/
AERIAL POLO.
A Qneer Kind of Arannment on
Pacillc Ocean Inland.
Writing on "Our Equatorial Islands"
In the Century, James D. Hague says:
It became an amusing diversion to
overturn the large flat stones beneath
which the rats were hiding in solid
masses and watch them as they scampered
in all directions, pursued and
quickly snatched up by the man-o'-war
hawks. These crafty birds were apt to
learn that the appearance of a mau
walking on the island, especially with
a dog, meant rats for them, and any
one thus going forth was usually followed
by a hovering hock, ready and
impatient for the sport they had
learned to expect. A rat brought to
baud by the dog was quickly tossed in *
air. -where the birds were ready to
snatch it. sometimes with a contest 011
the wing for the disputed possession.
One form of this sport, a sort of aerial
polo, which seemed to be as good fun
for the birds as for the observers, con
sisted in tossing two rats into the air
at the same moment, not singly and
apart, but tied together with about
six feet of strong twine.
Instantly the birds made a dash for
the rats, and the successful winner of
the first prize went sailing oil with
one rat in his bill and the other swinging
in the air beneath until snatched
by the second winner, when, after a
quick, sharp struggle and a taut strain
on the cord, the bird with the weaker
hold was compelled to let go. This
then went on as*a continuous performance,
with somewhat Jonah-like but
rapidly repeated disappearances and
reappearances of the little rats, swallowed
and reluctantly disgorged by
+1\ /-? n 1 A/1 APfil A r* 4r V\
LLiC UHUS Jli 4UH.a BUI.V.CB81UU tllii.ll cue
flock, thoroughly exhausted by their
Impetuous flight and extraordinary
exercise, alighted on the ground for a i
short truce, when the two temporary
stakeholders would be found sitting
face to face, keenly eying each other
from opposite ends of the string still
connecting them, each anxiously on
the sharp lookout for sudden jerks and
unpleasant surprises, while all the other
pursuers gathered around in a ring,
waiting for the two prize birds to- fly.
The general aspect of all participants ,
seemed to verify the familiar adage
that the pleasure is not in the game,
but in the chase.
A Fine Liver Cure.
Greenville, TenD.
I have thoroughly convinced myself
that Dr. Baker's Blood and
Liver Cure is the finest medicine
made for Indigestion and ConstipatT
Viqttq trioil flipm iiin and
HUUi uaiu ft A ?vva -w- ? _..y
was cured by the use of this medicine,
after all others had failed. I
most cheerfully and unhesitatingly
endorse it. Yours truly,
H. N. Baker, Mayor.
For sale at the Bazaar.
A Safe Agre.
The insuring of one's life is one of
those things which one is most apt to
put off. There are few, however, who
postpone what ought to be the inevitable
until so late a period in life as did
the tough old smack owner of Grimsby.
When he presented himself at the insurance
office, he was naturally asked
his age. His reply was, "Ninety-four."
"Why, my good man, we cannot insure
you," said the company. "Why
not?" he demanded. "Why, you are
ninety-four years of age." "What of
that?" the old man cried. "Look at
statistics, and they will tell you that
fewer men die at uinety-four than at
any other age."?London Business Illustrated.
Their Branch of Service.
"To what branch of the military
service do captains of industry beloDgV"
asked the recognized yet surviving
joker of the party.
"I give it up," replied his victim
wearily.
"To the artillery, because they're all
'big guns.' See? Ha, ha, ho, ho!"?
Syracuse Herald.
Cool Trees.
It is not shade alone that makes it
cooler under a tree in the summer. The
coolness of the tree itself helps, for
its temperature is about 45 degrees F.
at all times, as that of the human body
is a fraction more than US degrees. So
a clump of trees cools the air as a
piece of ice cools the water in a pitcner.
I
Rasping:.
Barber?How's the razor, sir?
Customer?Didn't know I was being
shaved.
Barber (flattered)?Very glad, I'm
sure, sir.
Customer?I thought I was being
sandpapered.?Pick Me Up.
Happily Married.
"I hope you have found happiness In
marriage, dear."
"Ob, yes. I can do lots of things I
didn't dare do when I was a girL"?
New York Press.
Perseverance not only goes far to
Insure success, but also obtains honors
for those who, although the less
fortuuate, have been the most diligent.
Lingering Summer Colds.
Don't let a cold run at this season.
Summer colds are the hardest kind
to cure and if neglected may linger
along for months. A long siege like
' ?? i 1- - - 1 JL
tdis will puJi aown :ne strongest con8titution.
One Minute Cough Cure
will break up the attack afc once.
Safe, sure, acts at once. Cures
coughs, colds, croup, bronchitis, all
throat and lung troubles. The children
like it. J. E. Kaufmann.
Send us the news for your section.
1