Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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BOWSEE ON CEOQUEI SAYS HE DOESN'T KNOW OF A MORE INTERESTING GAME. He Begins Play With Mrs.. Bowser. Who, He Thinks, Is Trying to Giv< Him an Unfair Deal?He Ends the ' Game With a Tramp. [Copyright, 1902. by C. B. Lewis.] i ML T 3 o'clock the other afternoon JESk a delivery wagon left a bo:; & XL at *ke Bowser mansion, and Mrs. Bowser opened it to nnu j balls, mallets and arches. She decided 1 that a mistake had been made, but j when Mr. Bowser came up to dinner i he explained: "There is no mistake. I bought the ; outfit and ordered it sent home." "But you don't mean that you are; going to play croquet?" she asked in ! surprise. "But I do. We might as well have ! some amusements around home. I i don't know of a more interesting game j than croquet. To play a good game one has got to have a mathematical 1 "I "WILL SET UP THE ARCHES, AX D WH %r-- WILL BEGIN.'* (eye and a skillful band. It beats golf all hollow. I don't understand your surprise." "Isn't it a great game to quarrel over?" asked Mrs. Bowser. "PisM Folks who want to quarrel will quarrel over any game. Yes, I've read in the papers that croquet has separated husbands and wives, broken engagements and caused ministers to resign from churches, but that's all nonsense, you know. There's more wrangling on a Sunday school excursion than over a thousand games of croquet. Indeed, what is there to wrangle about*:" **I thought there were many things, but perhaps I've forgotten or am thinking about something else." "There isn't one single thing, and I'll prove it to you. After dinner I'll set up the arches, and we'll have a game. You used to play, didn't you?" "Y-yes," she reluctantly replied. "And I've heard you brag what a game you played. I will whitewash you four times out of five." Mrs. Bowser groaned inwardly. If Mr. Bowser had brought home a horse, a cow or a dozen chickens, she j might have dodged a row, but with croquet?never. She thought of sud- j MR. BOWSER JUMPED FOR HIM, ~~ " denly twisting her ankle or being overcome by the heat, but Mr. Bowser's eye was upon her and she could not escaj-e. "Why, come to think of it" he said at the dinner table, "we used to plav croquet when I was courting you, and I don't remember that we quarreled. No. of course we didn't." It was true that tbey didn't, but it was because Mrs. Bowser shut her eyes to his brazen tricks to come out ahead. She didn't say so. however. She simply hoped that by some miracle a game or two might be played without an outbreak. "Now, then," he said when dinner was finished, '*1 will set up the arches and we will begin business. If there is a misunderstanding of any sort, you ho hlnmn fnr it. Wrangle? "Why, I could play for a month of Sundays and not have a word. There may he some excuse for wrangling: over golf, but croquet is soft and gentle and placid." Mrs. Bowser was pale faced and anxious looking as she selected a mallet and ball. She had determined to play her poorest and dispute no assertion. She did not mean to win the first shot, but it came to her. She meant to miss one of the arches as she made lier play, but the ball insisted on going through both. As a matter of fact, carelessly as she tried to play, she had gone to the upper stake and & I was on her way back before Mr. Bowser got a shot. She had heard him I ' breathing hard, but he didn't say any- j < thing until she made a miss. Then he < remarked: 1 "I see I have got to play against j bullhead luck and chicanery, but?I j think I can hold my owd." "Do you mean that I cheated?" she : asked. ] "Never mind what I mean. You can j < settle things with your own conscience. | I'm coming for your ball." j J Mr. Bowser passed through the first j 1 arch, Lm.sed the second and got in po- i ' sition to hit Mrs. Bowser's ball and [ send it away. There was a glare in j his eye as he sent it fifry feet away 1 and went back to the second arch. \ But luck was not with him. Before he < could get through she came down and * hit the stake and linisheu the game. \ * "Do you know what you are doing?*' j he asked as he leaned on his mallet ! J and looked at her. j ] "Why, I've just whitewashed you. : Haven't I?" she replied. i j "And how did you accomplish it? { | Do you know the meaning of the word j ; honesty? Have I got to keep my eyes i on you all the time to get a fair deal ! ! in this game?" j ; Mrs. Bowser made no reply. She : ' saw the end in view, and she hoped | < that if struck with a mallet death i J would be instantaneous. Mr. Bowser ; took the first shot, and by good luck ! he made the two arches. He was left j ; in bad position, though, and before he > ; could get through the third arch Mrs. \ Bowser overtook him and arranged to carry his ball with hers. i "What are you going to do?" he j asked. I "Carry your ball along to play on." "But you can't do it. There are j rules in this game." "Where is the rule that says I can't I carry your ball along to play on j again?" "Go ahead, then. I knew you'd j cheat the eyeteetk out of me if you j could, but I told you that I shouldn't | < wrangle." Mrs. Bowser used his ball until she ; was in position for the fourth arch j < and then sent it away and passed ! j through the fourth and fifth and hit j ] the stake. She was getting ready for | ] the return when he advanced and j \ quietly said: : "I will excuse you from further play j this evening, and you may retire to the j : house." "What's the matter? You surely j can't say that I've cheated." 1 , "I say nothing, madam?nothing ex- j cept that you may retire. I shall prob- t ably have a litrle talk with you later on, a little talk. There are some things ] I want to say to you." J . Mrs. Bowser had escaped death, and \ . - ' ""l'' *-^r\ rrlorl /Iran liar m.ll. i hiitr \> Cl? UU1J IV/V/ ?.v U1VJ. ~ ? I let and escape into the house. Mr. , . Bowser was knocking the balls about . and gritting his teeth when a tramp ! 1 came along and leaned on the fence to say: "I used to play that game myself when I was an aristocrat, and I was purty good at it too." "Do you understand the rules?' j asked Mr. Bowser. I "I think I do." j J "Then come in and take a mallet. I i want a straight game and no monkey i j work." The tramp had- "been there." He played clear to the upper stake with- j ' out a miss, and he was getting ready i t)w ? Z ^ ^ | i AND THBKB WAS A JsiULUUL^. I to return when Mr. Bowser walked ' over to him and said: "You can drop that mallet and get 1 out of here!" "But I'm only half through," protested the man. : "It makes no difference. How did ' you get in here anyway?" ! "Why, you asked me to come in." I "Never! I'm not playing croquet with tramps!" "I'd hate to be a mean old cuss like ' you!" said the man as he moved away, i "You couldn't go through an arch if it was as big as a barn door, and it ; makes you mad to see any one else"? j Mr. Bowser jumped for bim. and i there was a struggle. They fell to the ground and rolled over and over, while i two boys shouted for the police. Then, ' at the end of a minute, the tramp scrambled up and ran away with his ! hair flying and fright in his eyes. Mr. ! Bowser got up, but with more dignity, i There was a long scratch on his nose | and blood on his ear, but liis voice was firm as he stalked into the house and ; stood before Mrs. Bowser and said: ] "Woman, there is such a thing ag j crowding a husband to the dead line. You have crowded me there, and now the worm has turned. We will tele; phone our respective lawyers and set[ tie on the amount of alimony, and to| morrow?tomorrow, Mrs. Bowser, you ' can return to the arms of your mother:" M. QUAD. caw?b?e?? ? IM AI H ACF the question of health 111 vLl/ """"becomes mainly a question of nutrition. If the stomach and other organs of digestion and nutrition are kept in a healthful condition there will be a well-nourished body, and little liability to disorders of the liver, bowels or such other disorders as may perfect nutri- I tion of the \ il-- -A - 1 body it increases me viiai powcx o-uu. promotes a vigorous old age. " I was a sufferer from chronic diarrhea for five years," writes Mrs. Mary A. Aaron, of RcHa, Phelps Co., Mo. "I tried different remedies, which would give me relief lor a short time inly. My trouble would return as bad as ever. I consulted you in July, 1900. and by your advice commenced using Dr. Piercc'a remedies. I took two bottles of the ' Golden Medical Discovery.' three vials of the ' Pellets,' and some of the 'Extract of Smart-Weed,' as yen advised. I have not had any return of my trouble since using your medicines. Am now seventy-one years old and I never had anything to relieve me so quick. I think Dr. Pierce's medicines the greatest on earth. Should I ever have any return of my trouble shall use your medicine. My thanks to you for your advice and thanks to Almighty God for restoring me to health through your hands." Accept no substitute for " Golden Medical Discovery." There is nothing " just as good" for diseases of the stomach, blood and lungs. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, the best laxative for old people. They cure constipation and biliousness. A SLOW NEIGHBORHOOD. One Night's Experience In the Cabin of a ivoatucky Mountaineer. I wa.s stopping for the night in the rabin of a Kentucky mountaineer, and soon after midnight I was aroused by a knock on the door. It was a one room house with three beds in it. and I saw Llie mountaineer get out of bed and reach for his rifle. "Did some one knock?" I asked as he moved toward the door. ''Some one did, stranger." he replied. "But what are you doing with that ?un?" "Gwine to open the door, cf co'se. Yo' ire out of range and needn't be afraid." He moved to one side of the door, made ready with liis gun and then raised the wooden latch. The instant [he door swung open a charge of buckshot was fired into the room, but they flew across it and buried themselves in the opposite wall. A second later the mouniameer nreu ax some une iu i reply, and I heard the footfalls of a j man running away. "Did yo' git him?" asked the wife in J careless tones. "Reckon not." "Shoo! That's pore shootin'. Come along to bed." Next morning I asked the man who his midnight visitor was and why he had attempted murder. "Dunno," he replied in answer to both questions. "But does it happen very often?" "Not skassly, sab?not skassly. I've bin livin' yere in this cab4n gwine on three y'ars, and I don't reckon that thing has happened over twenty times befo'. It's sich a mighty peaceful nayborhood around yere that I'm thinkin' of movin' into some of the lively counties." M. QUAD. Brain Food Nonsense. Another ridiculous food fad has been branded by the most competent authorities. They have dispelled the silly notion that one kind of food is needed for brain, another for muscles and still another for bones. A correct diet will not only nourish a par ticular part of the body, but it will sustain every other part. Yet, however good your food may be, its nutriment is destroyed by indigestion or dyspepsia. You must prepare for their appearance or prevent their coming by taking regular doses of Green's August Flower, the favorite medicine cf the healthy millions. A few doses aids digestion, stimulates 'be liver to bealtby actioD, punbes the blood, and makes you feel buoyant and vigorous. You can get this reliable remedy at Kaufmann's Drug Store. Get Green's Special Almanac. 51?32 UNCLE SAM'S FREAK MONEY Bill* That Are Twenty Dollar* on One Side and Ten on the Reverse. Scattered throughout the country are a few pieces of paper money that are known as "freak hills" by the officials of the treasury department. One of them turned un in this city not lonjr ago? it liart the imprint of a twenty dollar note 011 one side and a ten 011 the other. As the face showed the twenty, that was its lega' value. The deputy assistant treasurer of the United States, who is stationed in the New York subtreasury, was speaking of these freaks the other day and said he had only seen one of ihein in his life, although he had heard of several. Very rarely they have slipped through the bureau of engraving and "Muting despite a careful scrutiny by iiirce or four sets of inspectors. In most cases they have been national banknotes, which, like regular treasury notes, are printed at the bureau in Washington. The face value always is recognized when the freaks come to be cashed in at any branch of the treasury, and the imprint on the back has no lawful status whatever. The notes are Drinted in sheets at the bureau," said the official. "Usually there will be one twenty and two tens 011 a sheet They are printed one side at a time, so it can be seen that the printer in turning over the sheet might get it upside down and thus put a ten dollar back on the twenty dollar note, or twenty 011 the back of one of the tens." I11 the bureau are women who are supposed to examine all the bills carefully, but occasionally they neglect to look at both sides as scrutinizingly as they should, and so the money goes out into circulation. When errors are discovered, the misprinted sheet is laid aside to be destroyed. It cannot be torn up at once, l'or every sheet has to be accounted for. After a good deal of red tape, it is ground up into pulp. Most of the freak bills which have been issued in the past have found I their way back to the treasury, there to be destroyed. It is thought tnat Jess than a dozen are now scattered about, most of them in the hands of curio hunters. The official said that no effort to collect them had been rmde by the government and that the treasury department did not consider the circulation of the few notes a matter of any consequence, inasmuch as there was no doubt about the values as indicated on the face.?New York Times. THE COOKBOOK If the pastry be slow in browning, throw a little sugar en the oven shelf. This will expedite matters greatly. If the skin of a beet root has got broken, sear the part with a redhot iron before cooking it. This will prevent the beet from bleeding. The next time tomato soup is planned for the family dinner try adding a few slices of orange just before serv ing ?ni(l enjoy the pleasant flavor which they impart. Eggplant is most palatable when broiled. Cut into thick slices, with the skin on; dip in olive oil seasoned with salt and pepper and cook on wire broiler over a clear fire five or ten minutes. When a cake contains too much flour or has baked too fast, it will sink from j the edges or rise up sharply, with a I crack in the middle. If cake lias a t coarse grain, it was not beaten enough or the ovon was too slow. If you like coeoanut pyramids, beat the whites of two eggs till light and stiff; mix with two cupfuls of grated coeoanut, one cupful of powdered sugar and two tablespoonfuls of flour; make into pyramids and bake brown. Owes His Life to a Neighbor's Kindness. Mr. D P. Daugherty, well known throughout Mercer and Suuiner counties, W. Va., most likely owes his life to the kindness of a neighbor. He was almost hopeless afflicted with diarrhoes; was attended by two physicians wtio gave him little, if any, reiief, when a neighbor learning of bis serious condition, brought him a bottle of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy, which ured him in less than twenty-four hours. For sale by J. E. Kaufmann. In the Jangle. ^r"^- 1 Elephant?Is the dentist engaged? Alligator?Well?er?yes. He's filling some of my back molars. I find he can get at them much better from the inside. Some Other Brown. The colored man -who had been sent to the postoiiice from the hotel in a little southern town came back to say to the colored male cook in the kitchen: "Sam Brown, dere's a letter in de postoffiee fur you, but dey wouldn't gib it up to me." "Suah it's for me?" asked the cook. "Of co'se." "What's de name on dat letter?*' "Samuel Brown." "Xuffin' else?" "Dat's all, I reckon." "Den it ain't no letter fur me. Must be fur some other Brown. If it was fur me, it would be directed to de Hon. Samuel Brown, Esq., and de writin' would kiver up most of de envelope." Cheap ami Consoling. "Yes," replied the western mac; "we sometimes make mistakes in hanging a stranger. I've known of several instances where we strung up an innocent rnnn." "And what do you do in such cases?" was queried. "Oh, we even things up by passing a resolution that his gain was our loss. It doesn't cost anything, you know, and always soothes inquiring relatives." If the Bacy is Cutting Teeth. Be sure and use that old and well tried remedy, 2irs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children teething. It soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and is the best remedy for ai&rrhoES. Twenty-five cents a bottle. It is the best of all. A Parson's IToble Act. "I want all the world to know," writes Key. C. J. Budlong, of Ashway, R. I, "what a thoroughly good and reliable medicine I found in Electric Bitters. Ttiey cured me of j aundice and liver troubles that had caused me great suffering for many years. For a genuine, all-around cure they excel anything I ever saw." Electric Bitters are the surprise of all for their wonderful work in Liver, Kidney and Stomach troubles. DonT fail to try them. Only 50e. Satisfaction guaranteed by J. E. Kaufmann. The Shortest Lived City. Which of the large cities of the world had the shortest life? In the ancient world the answer is Palmyra. The period of its prosperity extended only from 117 to 273 A. D.. 150 years. In the fifth century B. C. Persopolis was the capital of the Persian empire for thirty years only, but this was merely an accident of war and politics. Carthage was the shortest lived seat of empire, for it only endured about 500 years. In modern times the answer would be Amarapura, the former capital of Burma. Founded in 17S3, it had in 1S00 a population of 175,000. Sixty years later the seat of government was transferred to Mandalay, and Amarapura is now represented only by a few ruined temples and bamboo huts.?London Answers. What'* In a >'amef > Her name is Margaret, but all her 1 friends call her Daisy. It is a pet name she has been known by since she was a child. There is a pretty, bright, charming freshness about her which the flower suggests. But notwithstanding the appropriateness of the nickname the girl, who has recently attained the dignity of an engaget.; ti rr line dioMlvlwl it nnPP find 1XJ Cll t X i li^,, UilO VtiUVU* V?V\? V?.>,w ?-. >? for sill, and no one is a friend of hers who does not call her Margaret. It is all on account of the new name she is to take. She will eventually be Mrs. Field. "And it is a very nice name, too," says the girl, "but I do not Intend to be a 'daisy held.' "?New Ycrk Times. Homemade Barometer, A convenient barometer for the kitchen may be made with an ordinary glass jam jar and an old oil flask. Fill the jar three parts full of water, and after cleaning the flask place it in the jar neck downward. The rising of the water in the flask will indicate tine weather. Unsettled weather will be foretold by the sinking of the water. Good Managrer. "You seem to manage remarkably well on your housekeeping money." "Yes. The tradespeople haven't sent their bills in yet."?.New ion; rieraiu. Merely a Joke. Gusher?You may not believe it but I've never had an unkind word from my wife in all my life. Henpeck?Oh, don't try to spring that old chestnut 011 me. Gusher?What old chestnut? Henpeck?You want me to say, "How did you manage that?" and then you'll say, "I never got married."?Detroit Free Press. Hotv It Happened. Mrs. Xexdore?My daughter was practicing her new concert piece >ast night. Did you hear her? Mrs. Pepprey?Ob, yes. Mrs. Xexdore?How was it? Mrs. Pepprey?I simply couldn't get away: that's how it was.?Philadelphia Press. Xot Rendy to A-bitrate. "Stop! Don't fight, boys! Can't we arbitrate this thing?" asked one ol" the bystanders. "Yes, sir," panted the fellow who was on top. "Just as soon as I've blacked his other eye!"?Chicago Tribune. Fruit tarts and cakes are served out five times a week to the crews on board steamers trading between Australia and New Zealand. Tart3 are topless pies. A Sad Disappointment. Ineffective liver medicine is a disappointment, but you don't want to purge, strain and bieak the glands of the stomach and bowels. DeWitt's Lrttle Eirly Risers never disappoint. They cleanse the system of all poison and putrid matter and do it so gently that one eni^vs the pleasant effects. 0 * ? They ??re a tonic to the liver. Cure biliousness, to pid liver and prevent fever. J. E. Kaufmann. THE LIMEKILN CLUB. Brother Gardner on the Subject of I'tinK D!k Words. "It am once ag'iu my painful dooty." said Brother Gardner after the regular proceedings of the Limekiln club had been disposed of?"it am once ag'in my painful dooty To speak to de members of dis club in regard to de use of big wards. It was only last night as I wnlkeil home from luaver liieetin' :i)ou& v.id Waydown JLieboe dat lit* keerlessly obsarvod dat do climiiinshun of do olocidnshun appeared to coerce do eoherion of do irratifleashun. What 0:1 iiir-h ho meant I can't say, but I know ho l*oIt proud ober his flow of language. A wook a.uo I was in a feed store wheu Samuel Shin come in arter fodder for his old mewl. He didn't dun see mo, an' as he laid down dO oonts ho remarked dat dc problematical disqualificashun had worry much embarrassed de unexpected arsimilashun. I)e feed store man didn't fall dead, but 1 don't know why he didn't^ Two unys since, when 'Samuel' Shin "was axed if he believed de whale svrailered Joner, he puffed out his chest an' replied dat his perversity of do sinnosity led him to articulate to de pomposity. If yo' was to ax him what he meant, he couldn't tell yo', but he's feelin' worry proud of them big words. "I ain't gwine to waste no time ober dis subject. Mebbe de strangulashun of de reservashun exceeds do placidity of de impecuniosity, an' mebbe de gratificasbun of de realizashun limits de verbosity of de paralysis. As to dis I can't say, but I do know, an' I gib de members of dis club fair warnin', dat if dar am any mo' conoentrashun of de consequentiality around yere I shall purcecd to eventuate de diagram of de monstrosity in a way to particulate de effervescence of de ardusity. We want nuffin but plain words, an' words dat we kin all understan', an' from dis time 011 we shall eventuate de glorosity of de English language or maintain a consanguinity of calamitous configura snun. .u. gt/AL?. Count] to Win. 4 "Yes," said the young wife. "Henry J and I hud some words this morning * ami I can't deny that he got the best of it." "That will never do," returned the experienced neighbor. "You can't af- ^k ford to start in married life that way." _ ^k "I know it," answered the young -*fl| wife. "I've thought it ail over, and when he comes home tonight I'm going to bring him to terms so quick that he'll hardly know what's happened." "That's right, my dear. Show some snirit. What are vou going to do?" "I'm going to bring up the subject again and then cry."?Chicago Post. rVo More Snxpensp. "Why do you insist on getting me an B ^ upper berth in the sleeping car:" asked ff| the habitually austere lady. "B "Well." answered her irrepressible ^B niece, "you have been expecting for 1 so many years to tind somebody under your bed that I thought it might relieve your mind to have all doubts on the subject removed for once."?Washington Star. A Fine Liver Cure. Greenville, Tenn. I have thoroughly convinced myself that Dr. Baker's Blood and ^ Liver Cure is the finest medicine made for Indigestion and Constipa-t i-!- a ii I HOD. (A Dave ineu mem ttttj uuu was cured by the use of this medicine, after all others had failed. I most cheerfully aDd unhesitatingly endorse it. Yours truly, H. N. Baker, Mayor. For sale at the Bazaar. The Young Minister. Father of the Fastor (after the sermon)?How Horace has changed since he was a baby! / The Mother ?What an idea! Of course he has changed. Father?What I mean is that when he was a baby he used to keep me awake.?Boston Transcript. Charitable. "Did he marry her for her money?" asked ^:he girl in white. "Well, let's be charitable and say he did," answered the girl in gray. "There's no use casting aspersions on his taste and judgment."?Chicago Post. 4 How Trne! "Say, Jinks, where is that fine gold watch you used to sport? I see now that you're wearing a plain affair In a nickel plated ease." "Well, you know, 'circumstances alter cases.''*?Baltimore American. Annoyiag Rhymes. Scribbler?I'm disgusted with poetry. / Scrawler?What's the matter? Scribbler?I started to write a sonnet to my lady's dimple, and the only rhymes I could get were pimple and simple.?Philadelphia Record. 'M BRUIT TRHS y1?I'liUll I iiuuu That Grow and Bear Frnil. JrWrite for our 60 page ilwW4w lustrated Catalogue and 40 w page pamphlet, "How to ^5 Plant and Culiivate an Orchard," Gives you that information you have so long ?awn? wanted; tells you all about '>'93 those big red apples, lucious peaches, and Japan plums with their oriental sweetness, ^ all of which you have often wondered where the trees came from that produced J* /,]? them. Mm EVERYTHING GOOD IN i FRUITS. jj' f^,u" Unusal line stock of SILVER I MAPLES.young. thrifty trees J vjF C \k * smooth and Straight, the kind I that live and grow oft' well, j ^*? o1^ roush trees. This is I the most rapid growing maWhry^^" pie and one of the most beau- * ^,J1 shade trees. S?" Write for prices and give list of wants. J. Van Lindlcy Nursery Co.. a Pomona, N C. Jfflj if! I _ Parlor Restaurant 1 1336 main street. COLUMBIA, - S. C., The only up-to-date eating House ot its kind in the City of Columbia. It is well kept?clean linen, ? j oorviVp?nrl fatiinnicklv. pruuiyv nuu yumt jv* 0 A w Quiet and order always prevail. You g6t what you order and pay only for what you get. Within easy reach of desirable sleeping apartments. OPEN ALL NIGHT. S. DAVID, Proprietor. February 20.