Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

MR. BOWSER'S CURE. A FEW DOSES OF IT HAD A SURPRISING EFFECT. - . %. In Trying to Purify His Blood In One Night He Took an Overdose of | the Medicine and Made the Evening Hilarious. [Copyright, 1902, by C. B. Lewis.] MR. BOWSER was smoking the last of his cigar the other evening when the doorbell rang and the girl said that a man wanted to see him at the door. He stepped outside and held what seemed to be a private conference for about ten minutes, and when he returned he had a two quart jug in his hand. "It was our butcher," he explained on Afro T>.nTe*?pr looked at him in a C4 O w ? krv. . Questioning way. "And he brought you that jug?" "Yes. I was telliug him a few days ago that I needed an old fashioned blood cure, and he volunteered to make up one. He knew just where to get the roots and barks, you see." "And so you've finally got around to a blood cure!" sighed Mrs. Bowser, j "Will this be the end of It for a month EE HAD A GOOD THING, AND HE MEANT j TO PUSH IT. { $ '? . \ or two, or will you try a dandruff eradicator, a liver invigorator or a hay fe- , yer douche before you quit?" "Are you finding fault because my blood is out of order and I want to cure it?" demanded Mr. Bowser. "That would be just like you." ! "I hadn't seen any signs of your blood Twain*' nnt of order." "Ob, you hadn't! I've had a pimple |. as big as a hickory nut ou my nose for the last two weeks, and yet you haven't noticed it! Others have, however. I've been almost ashamed to ride ou the cars, and I've had boys call me Old Pimple. My blood has been off for weeks and weeks, and it's a wonder I haven't had pimples by the hundred. It's no wonder 1 have ni^itmare and toss about as I do." "And the butcher has kindly fixed you up a cure?" "He has. Have you any objections?" "Not the slightest. Go ahead and i take your dose and get rid of your j pimple." i - ife -! f if i /in mi "~~~ TS*. .4TrnnAPT?pt T"\r Vf iJLWX I * ?< A. 4>A A AiAJi r'r, Mr. Bowser looked at her for a minute in an undecided way and then set his jaw and carried the jug down to the dining room. The main ingredients of the cure were sassafras and dandelion. and the butcher had told him to drink half a tumblerful three times a day. The stuff smelled good and tasted better, and after one glass Mr. Bowser decided to push things. There was no use fooling around with that pimple for a week or two when it could be cured in one night. He took a second glass and put the jug away, but almost immediately brought it out again to imbibe a third. He had a good thing, and he meant to push it. The third glass settled the fate of that pimple for all time to come. He went upstairs and sat down to his newspaper, and Mrs. Bowser had no remarks to make. Ten or twelve minutes had passed when the family cat came out from under the piano and strolled - 1. a..A 4-U/v ?AAm r> f fnv lAAl'lnfT of ilUUUL LUC I <JUU_i, auu uuu iwhjub ub her and rubbing his eyes Mr. Bowser said: "Mrs. Bowser, have you turned this house into a cat hospital?" "What do you mean?" she queried. "Why. therv. are three old cats walking about the room." "You don't mean to say you see three cats?" "Three cats, Mrs. Bowser, three blamed old tomcats, and I won't have it. I'll knock every one of 'em in the head!" "There is only one cu. here. Has that pimple worked oil' your nose into your eyes?" Mr. Bowser rubbed his eyes and winked and blinked, and, lo, two of the cats vanished' "I was just joking," he said in a silly way?"just having a little fun, you know. Of course there's only one cat, and she's the dearest old thing in the world. Mrs. Bowser, next to you I love that cat more'n anything else 011 earth. If she should die, I'd want to die too!" "How much of that blood cure did j you take?" asked Mrs. Bowser as she looked hard at him. "Just a sip. my dear. But it's doing me lots of good already. I think it's time to take another sip. You and the eat stay right here until I take another dose. Funny about those three old cats?ha. ha, ha! Thought it was the cat hospital, you know." Mrs. Bowser did not seek to restrain him, but when he had gone downstairs she went ud to her room. He didn't intend to take but one dose of that blood cure, and that a small one, but the liquid tickled his palate and had such a soothing effect on his pimple that the small dose became two large and liberal ones. "Nothing like it for the blood?nothing like it," he mused as he smacked his lips and reluctantly set the Jug away. "Butchers know what is good for pimples ou the nose. If I hadn't happened to speak to our butcher. I might have had forty pimples by Saturday. Funuj' about those old cats. Can't fool me again, though." As he went upstairs he lcoked for Mrs. Bowser, and, not seeing her, he sat down heavily in a chair and glanced around for the cat. She had shifted over 011 the lounge and was purring away with eyes half closed. "Yesk. er bes' cat in er world," said Mr. Bowser after gazing at her for awhile. "If anybody ever hits you with a bottle, you come to me about it. Anybody who hits my cat hits me. Shay, now, what's your name? I used to know it, but it's gone out of my j head. Is it Napoleon?" The cat opened her eyes and ceased ! to pur, and after some trouble Mr. j Bowser got his eyes on her again and i said: "If it ain't Napoleon, then it's Shake- j speare or Cicero or.Ccesar, but it's all i right?all right. Best cat in er world j and best name in er world. If I want | to take medicine for my blood, you j don't say nozzings 'bout it. Shay, Na- j poleon. let's be happy while we may. Let's swing our hats and whoop and ha. ha, ha! You good feller, I'm good feller, and Mrs. Bowsher good feller. Whoop! Whoopee!" The blood cure was having its due effect, and as Mrs. Bowser listened j over the banister she heard Mr. Bow- j ser trying to work up a jig with his j feet After a few shuffles he suddenly j - 1 x. Tl ^,,4.. stoppeu to cuii uul. i "By er gre^t horn spoon, but them i old cats have come back?six, seven, ! eight, nine of 'em! Nine cats in a row, | and all looking at me! Funniest thing ; I ever saw?ha, ha, ha! If Mrs. Bowsher was down here, she'd go into hysterics. I don't want no cat hospital around here, but I won't be mean i about it. All er cats may stay all { night, and I'll give 'em all er milk : they want to drink. Whoopee! I'm feeling great, I am. Now, you cats, j LING GREAT, I AM." strike up a tune and shee me waltz to it" Mr. Bowser rose up and wabbled about and finally staggered over and fell upon the lounge. The eat escaped crushing by a jump and at once ran I rlntirnc+Qirc hut- Mr nMpr IUV TT UCU4AI. K?, VC4W missed him and presently went on: j "Yesh, I'll show you nine old eats | how to waltz after ragtime. I'll take j this chair for my partner and we'll { move off?so?and, Johnny, get your ! gun out?gun out?gun out!" Mrs. Bowser felt the house shaking as he danced about, and she was prepared for the crash that soon came. Mr. Bowser fell over th^ chair, and the chair turned about and tell over him, and when she got downstairs they were tangled up together and going to sleep. "What kind of carrying on do you call this?" she asked as she stood over the wreck. Mr. Bowser opened one eye and look! ed at her in a sleepy way, and then f closed it and said: "Nine old cats, g'way from me! I j 'ant cr go to shleep. Purifies er blood rid takes er pimples off, and zhere is nozzincs like it Whoop! Wboo"? And then he slept and snored. M. QUAD. Xot For B&thingr. Stella ? The poets say Aphrodite sprang from the sea. Bella?I suppose she wanted to keep her bathing suit dry.?New York Press. The i Mr hag Which the working man has fought for and succeeded in obtaining is something the wife has no share in. Her day begins before his and ends long after it, as a rule, and many a night her rest is . broken by the baby's fretfulness. The healthiest woman must wear out under /gSSSLVjf such a strain. WThat can be expected then of those women iv*r^who are weaken^SSy\\ e<^ ^v'?man" - who are weak, " * worn-out pS'rlPI an^ run-down will find new '' " I 1if*? anrl npvp <;trpnorth in lhf? ; 1: use of Dr. Pierce's Favorite . Prescription. It establishes {.. regularity, dries weakening " II drains, heals inflammation and ulceration, and cures / female weakness. It makes weak women strong and m 11 sick women well. j|| j Sick people are invited to III L consult Dr. Pierce, by letter, free- All correspondence is held as strictly private and sacredly confidential. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. "I suffered with female weakness about eight years?tried several doctors but derived no benefit until I began using Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription." writes Mrs. John Green, of Danville, Boyle Co.. Ky. "This medicine was recommended to me by other patients. I have taken six bottles and I "feel like another person." The dealer who offers a substitute for "Favorite Prescription," is only seeking to make the little more profit paid on the sale of less meritorious medicines. His profit is your loss. Refuse all substitutes. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets should be used with " Favorite Prescription " whenever a laxative is required. "Sit" and "Set." Some one who believes in teaching by example has concocted a lesson in the use of two little words which have been a source of mortification and trouble to many well meaning persons. A man or woman either can set a hen. although they cannot sit her: neither can they set on her, although the hen might sit on them by the hour if they would allow it A man cannot set on the wash bench, but he could set the basin on it, and neither the basin nor the grammarians would object. He could sit on the dog's tail if the dog were willing or he might set his foot on it But if he should set on the aforesaid tail or sit his foot there the grammarians as well as the dog would howl, metaphorically at least And yet the man might set the tail aside and then sit down and* be assailed neither by the dog nor by the wnmrnti ri.ins. _________? ^ Xot Worry, but Slumber. They were discussing suicides and the pron?-ness of different peoples to depart in that way when one of those engaged in the conversation turned to a colored man and asked, "Why is it that so few of your people take their own lives?" After scratching his head a moment the'person addressed responded. "Well, I tell you, boss; when a nigger sits down he don't worry, but goes to sleep."?New York Times. Brain Food Nonsense. Another ridiculous food fad has ! been branded by the most competent i authorities. They have dispelled the i silly notion that odo kind of food is | needed for brain, another for muscles i and fit ill another for bones. A cor | rect diet will not only nourish a par ticu'ar part of the body, but it will ; sustain every other part. Yet, how: ever good your food may be, its nu'| rirnent is destroyed by indigestion or i dyspepsia. You must prepare for their appearance or prevent their coming by taking regular doses of Green's August Flower, the favorite i medicine of the healthy millions. A j few doses aids digestion, stimulates I the liver to healthy action, purifies | the blood, and makes you feel buoy! ant and vigorous. You can get this reliable remedy at Kaufmann's Drug Store. Get Green's Special Almanac. The Dog: That Singi and His Master. "Billingsley has taught his dog to sing." "Does he sing well?" "He sings as well as Billingsley i-,; " wurn v.ii uiiii. "I never heard Billingsley. Is he a good singer?" "Well, the dog has been shot at seven times."?Cleveland Plain Dealer. Analyats. J She?After all, what is the difference i between illusion and delusion? He?Illusion is the lovely fancies we I have about ourselves, and delusion is j the foolish fancies other people have ; about themselves.?Life. Uncertain Footing. The fellow who stands on his dignity j may discover that dignity is just as ! slippery as a banana skin.?St. Lcuis : Republic. I In Turkey red hair is counted a great beauty, and the women dye their hair that tint. To Cure a Cold in One Day Take Laxative Bromo Qainint Tol.lntn All ilrimmcfo yofnnd thf xtiuicio. xxix ui u5B'uvtJ * - ? | money if it fails to cure. E. W. ; Grove's signature is on each box 25c The Hnng^ry Sea. "Why do they spe-' 1- of it as a bun gry sea ?" "It takes the dinner right out of ? person's mouth."?Town and Country. NECESSITY OF SLUMBER. Death by SleeplOKsneH* a Chinese Punishment. "A person absolutely without sleep for nine (fays will die." says a writer in Ainslee's. "Sufferers from insomnia sometimes maintain that they have gone for weeks without sleeping, but it has been proved that they do sleep without being aware of it. At a certain point sleep is inevitable, 110 matter what the bodilj' condition, the alternative being death. Prisoners have slept 011 the rack of the inquisition. And the Chinese found that only the greatest ingenuity and vigilance could carry out a sentence of death by sleeplessness. This mode of capital punishment was long in favor in China and is said to be so today, while as a form of torture deprivation of sleep is considered one of the most efficacious weapons in the Chinese judicial arsenal. In some such cases the prisoner is kept in a case too small to stand up or lie down in and constantly prodded with a sharp rod. Death by starvation, also a Chinese punitive method, is a slower process and therefore, one would think, more calculated to appeal to the oriental mind if it were not that death by sleeplessness is thought so much more painful. In the latter case the brain is the first affected of all the organs of the body, while in case of starvation the brain longest retains its normal weight acd character. "A corresponding mode of taming wild elephants is said to be depriving j the animals of sleep when first caugnt. In a few days they become comparatively spiritless and harmless. The brain of the elephant is held to be more highly developed than that of any other wild animal, but of course as compared with a human brain can be easily fatigued by new impressions and so made very dependent on sleep. The wild elephant in his native jungle, however, is said to sleep very little?a further point for the theory of the universal ratio of sleep to intelligence. A man taken out of his habitat and placed in conditions which he never could have imagined?if transported to Mars, say?would doubtless need an extraordinary amount of sleep at first. There is the almost parallel case of a German boy. Casper Hauser, who up to the age of eighteen was kept in one room where he had no intercourse with human beings or sight of any natural object not even the sky. At eighteen hp was brought to Nuremberg and abandoned in the street. For the first few mouths of his life among men he slept almost constantly and so soundly that it was very hard to wake him." You Snow What You Are Taking When you take Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic because the formula is plainly printed on every bottie show iDg that it is simply Iron and Quinine in a tasteless form, No Cure, No Pay. 50c The Sense of Feeling. Somo of our most important organs? for instance, the heart, the brain and the lungs?are, strange to say, quite insensible to touch, thus showing that not only are nerves necessary for the sensation, but also the special end organs. The curious fact was noticed with the greatest astonishment by Harvey, who, while treating a patient | for an abscess that caused a large 1 cavity in his side, found that when he ' put his fingers into the cavity he could i actually take hold of the heart without i the patient being in the least aware of what he was doing. This so interested Harvey that he brought King Charles I. to the man's bedside that "be might himself behold and touch so extraordinary a thing." In certain operations a piece of skin is removed from the forehead to the nose, and it is stated that the patient, oddly enough, feels as if the new nasal part were still in his forehead i and may have a headache in his nose. ?Chambers' Journal. i I In the Same Situation. A funny story is told about a physi, cian at Monroe City. A resident of t the town set out shade trees for the 1 /I/-V/-.+/M. A thp lihvsi UUV.LVI . -TA. QL1VJ. L ULUV W?W ^ ^ cian was called to attend the motherin-law of the man who had set out the . trees. The old lady died, and the phy sician presented his bill. After paying it, the citizen thought of the trees and made out and presented a bill for them. "But the trees died." protested the doctor. "So did my mother-in-law," retorted the other man. The doctor paid the bill.?Kansas City Journal. Settling: the "Tip" tfcneiition. The awkward question of the tip was solved by a big New Englander from the state of Maine who was dining in a London restaurant the other e\ ning. Having paid his bill, be was informed J by the waiter that what he had paid I did "not include the waiter." "Waal," said the stranger, "I ate no waiter, did I?" And as be looked quite ready to do ! so on any further provocation the subj ject was dropped.?London Chronicle. . The Best Prescription for Malaria Chills, and Fever is a bottle of I Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic. It is \ simply iron and quinine in a tasteless j from. No cure, no pay. Price 50c. r-roctor'* Finest Speech. ; ! Senator Proctor of Vermont once 5 | said the finest speech he ever made i consisted of only four words. It was in retort to Senator Iloar's sarcastic little thrust in a speech directed at the Green Mountain senator. lie said, "No man in Vermont is allowed to vote un ; less he has made $5,000 trading with i Massachusetts people." i Whereat Proctor said, "And we all vote."?Chicago Inter Ocean. / 9 THE USE OF COTTON SEED OIL AS FOOD. How it Came Into General Use and Why it Gained in Popularity?It is Safe and Wholesome. From the earliest Bible times to the present clay nations of the countries surrounding the Mediterranean have made the oil of the olive one of their principal articles of diet. It is used in all cooking operations and replaces the butter and lard of the nations in northern Europe. There is no question but what a pure vegetable oil is a most useful and healthy article of diet. We never read of dyspepsia and troubles of a similar nature among the people of the Levant, doubtless because the fat taken as a necessary part of a well regulated diet is always taken as a pure vegetable oil. In our own country up to within the last few years on nas Deen usea out uitie tu> <xn cuticle of diet, except by Europeans who have made their homes in our midst. We have clung to the traditions of our Saxon ancestors and used the hard fats prepared from hogs and cattle. The people of this country are beginning to ;ealize their mistake. Throughout our southern States we have trees, small it is true, but great in numbers, which produce a fruit far more wonderful than the olive, we refer to our cotton plant. Its fiber clothes the world, its I seed yields an oil which is unrivaled in sweetness and purity by the finest product of the pressed olive. Cotton seed oil was refined in small quantities prior to the Civil war. It found its way to Europe and came back in fancy bottles mixed with olive oil. In the early 80's the production of the oil increased rapidly. Great quantities finding their way to Chicago in mysteriously marked packages, the contents of which properly blended with other material, traveled all over the world in the form of lard. . ? About the year 1887 it was discovered that the amount of lard shipped from Chicago greatly exceeded the weight of all the hogs received and an investigation was instituted by Congress which brought forth the information that the product of the cotton seed was entirely unobjectionaDie as an arucie of diet and liable to be preferred by many to that of the hog. For various reasons our people have always been prejudiced against the oil itself, though eating large quantities of it in the form of lard compound. This prejudice is no doubt largely due to the faulty refining methods used by many of the manufacturers who turned out an oil of unpleasant flavor which gave off very disagreeable odors in cooking. Modern science has shed its rays on this great product of our section and the oil is now produced in enormous quantities, absolutely free from odor and flavor and almost colorless. Shipped in barrels it finds its way into the largest bake shops of the country, where it takes the place of many tons of lard and butter. Packed in hermitically sealed cans it is invading kitchens of our best families. It is making friends everywhere. The greatly extended use of cotton seed oil in the household has added greatly to the wealth of our farmers by making a sure market for all the seed which they can produce. This rapid increase in the use of the oil has /-inlir noon i-norJo nnssihlp hv 1mnrnved refilling methods which were the results of long, patient and expensive experiments by the leading company in the business. Such experiments could only be made by the combined resources centered in a large corporation whieh can command the needed brains and materials and furnish the necessary money outlay to conduct expensive experiments on a practical scale. The farmer of the south has no better friend than the large companies who are daily striving to improve the product of his cotton seed and extend the use of cotton seed oil as a food product, and the most successful of these companies in the manufacture of these products is the Southern Cotton Oil Company, whose works are at Savannah, Ga., and who have headquarters and general offices in Columbia, S. C., Savannah, Ga., Atlanta, Ga., and Charlotte, N. C., any of which will gladly furnish information. ' ( ? ? ROOM FOR ALL GRADUATES Nature Adjusts Matters and Always Preserves an Equilibrium. Once a year the schools anil colleges of the country harvest a crop of graduates, anil once a year the wise men ** ? 1 ?? ^ vi? f AV Tinlil . Or IXiU 1UIIU Hiiic caon,; o wi tion on the surplus of men who are entering the law, medicine and other callings that are open to the newcomers. If the wise men are to be believed, it would seem that all the occupations were tilled and that the young man had arrived too late. Fortunately for the tenderfoot, the wise men have always been wrong. No philosopher has ever presented a logical argument that did not leave something to be said on the other side, j Every year since the world set up for business a new crop of young men has arrived, and that new crop has eveni tually become the stay of the race. What has been going on eternally will continue. The young chaps will locate themselves. It is no argument that lawyers have their signs staring at you from every hallway on half the streets within several blocks of every < rr*l. ^ i courthouse in the country, am; um! vest that includes a new lot of lawyers also raises a lot of new litigants. Nature takes care to preserve an equilibrium. If the fledgelings of the medical schools do not find bones to saw, some of them turn to sawing wood. The boy who has gone through college with the intention of becoming president of the United States finds a satisfactory job as master of ceremonies in a coalyard. A few jostles and the new man adjusts himself to circumstances, and then he lias become a part of the machine, which runs on as usual. It is unnecessary to become alarmed i about the surplus man. If he is in law, medicine, theology, horse trading, peddling milk or anything else, he finds if oni\ l-m nrrniiws the matter in it UUl, UUU uv. some way without any upheaval in society. The surplus man is surplus only until he gets his tirst job. After that he is one of the establishment.? Fittsburg Times. I Taere are more sufferers from con | stipa',ion than from any other enemy of our race; there is a loDg train of I annoying ills as a direct result and there is nothing so effective in its treatment as Ramon's Liver Pills and Tonic Pellets. 25 cts., sample free. Stevens Ideal Rifle. No. 44. ] Price Only $10.00. , , a Made in all the standard cali- J bers both Rim and Center Fire. J . . -i . .1_ C<j. .1 flj weignt aDOuu / pounus. oiauuard barrel for rim fire cartridges, 2-i inches. For center-fire cartridges, 26 inches. ^ If these rifles are not carried in stock by yonr dealer, send price and we will send it to you express prepaid. Send stamp for catalog describing com- \ plete line and containing valuable in- 1 formation to shooters. ! The J. Stevens Arms and Tool Co. 3 P. 0.801 I CHICOPEE FALLS. OASS. t'dO. n -"Mi l| Wj . ... v. 902. axll. w. A. RECKON -flSTIST, COLUMBIA, S. C. Is now making the best pictares that can be bad in this countly, * J and all who have never had a real line pictare, shoald now try some of his iateat I styles. Specimens cun be seen at his Gallery. np stairs, next to the Hub. puniurc _ ahd_ ^numta BOILERS. Tanks. Stacks, Stand Pipes and Sheet-Iron Work; 8halting, Pulleys, Gearing, Boxes, Hangers, etc. Mill Castings. 327~Caat every day, work 200 hands. J IOMBABD IROS WORKS * SUPPLY OS AUGUSTA, GBOHGIA. jM | January 27- ly . BEESWAX WANTED IN LARGE OR SMALL QUANTITIES I WILL PAY THE HIGHEST MAR. ket price for clean and pare Beeswax. Prioe governed by color and condition. RICE B. HARMAN, At the Bazaar. Lexington, S. C. r EDWARD L. ASB1LL, ' Attorney at Law, LEESVHiLE, S. C. J) Practices in all the Courts. Business solicited. Sept. 80?6m i ALL BIG BOXING EVENTS I Are Best Illustrated and Described in POLICE GAZETTE The World'Famous . . . . Patron of Sports. $1.00-13 WEEKS-$1.00 MAILED TO YOUR ADDRESS. BICHABD E. FOX, Publisher, Franklin Square, New York. THE 3 SPIRITTINE d REMEDIES. ^ Endorsed by some of the Leading Medical Profession. No Quack or Patent Med- A icine, but NATURE'S PURE REMEDIES. 1 Wholesale and Retail by G. M. HARM AN. miWHRiH J COUNTRY RISKS CONSIDEEED. Only First Class Companies Represented K See my List of Giants: W iff , AsS6td .ETNA, FIRE, of Hartford, Conn $13,357,293 CONTINENTAL (Fire), of 1 New York 10,638.271 / PHILADELPHIA UNDERWRITERS. Phil., Pa.. 15,541,066 .ETNA LIFE, of Hartford. Conn 56,092,086 ? GLENN FALLS, of Glenn Falls, New York 3,436,899 ^ Mv companies are popular, strong ana reliable. No one can give your business better attention; no one can give you better protection: no oue can give you better rates. I BEFORE YOU INSURE SEE I ALFRED .T. FOX, J General Insurance Agent, LEXINGTON S. C. J November 27, 1901?ly. ^ <9 | This signature is on every box of the gennins Laxative Bromo?Quinine Tablets ihe remedy th?t cures a coJtl In one ciay * ' >