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\Jferesti *+ ' I I ^ ^he rick :;. "FLORODORA" \\ LUCK," " i S * - 'Twas Ever Thus. "Eve," growled Adam, "these biscuits are fierce!" "Don't you like them, deai?" "Like 'em? Huh! Not half like moth?ahem! They're bum?very bum! I wish you'd buy a cook book." "They say a man's soul is in his stomach, and I believe it." . "Eve," and Adam glared, "you're the most exasperating woman I ever saw! By jing, I wish I had my rib back P ? "There you go?throwing that in 1 my face again. * Who asked for your old rib, anyway? Weren't you just as lonesome as you could be until I came?" "And I wish I'd been satisfied to let it go at that. Another case of 'When lonesomeness is bliss 'tis folly to get married.'" "Boo-hoo!" "Here, Now " "Boo-boo-hoo!" "Aw, say! Darn it, Eve ' "Boo-hoo I I w-wish I w-was de e-dead!" "Gosh-blame it all, Eve. I was justjokin'I Don't do that! Honest ?the biscaitB are the best ever? and I'd eat 'em if they were like cobblestones. I'm a chump and a fool and ' And a benevolent old boomptasaurus looked on with a fatherly smile while the reconciliation took place. "Egobulus!" he ejaculated, "the woman wins with the tears of defeat!" And she continues to do so even to this day. Saves Tvo From Death. "Our little daughter had an almost fatal attack of whooping cough and bronchitis," writes Mrs. W. K. Haviland, of Armonk, N. Y, "but, when all other remedies failed, we saved her life with Dr. King's New Discovers Our niece, who had Consumn tkm in an advanced stage, also used this wonderful medicine and to-day she is perfectly welL" Desperate throat and lung diseases yield to Dr. King's New Discovery as to no other medicine on earth. Infallible for Coughs and Colds. 50c and $1 00 bottles guaranteed by J. E. Kaufmann. Trial bottles free. A Tornado Dovastes Decca. Calcutta, May 1.?A. tornado has devastated the city of Dacca, India, and adioinin&r towns. 9 W? Four hundred and sixteen persons were killed and crops were ruined throughout the district. Simla, India, May 1.?The tornado first struck Posgola the afternoon of April 23, where it wrecked the Datta jute works. From Posgola it moved to Sanachar, where the India General company's warehouses were de-; mere all mee All Ha vana Filler^ can fiat/ mot GOOD ENOUGH Bands are of same value as Tags 1 3LD PEACH AND HONEY," "KA BBCTMBP??EST" stroyed by a great wave which was whirled out of the river by the wind. Everywhere in the path of the cyclone, huts, trees, the roofs of houses and people were carried up into the air m nru_ njse paper, xoiriy-one persons were killed at Sanachar; 110 near Dacoa; 175 at Nagalband and 100 at Barnighat. Ths Finest Fabric Made by human skill is coarse compared with the lining of the bowels. When this tender membrane is irritated we have griping pains, diarrhoea and cholera morbus. Whatever be the cause of the trouble, take Perry Davis' Painkiller according to the directions with each bottle. Travel ers in all climates carry Painkiller in their gripsacks. Large bottles 25 and 50 cents. Less Work, Same Pay Demanded. Pittsburg, May 1.?The National Association of Blast,Furnace Workers and Smelters of America has sent copies of a new demand to the United States Stell corporation, the Republic Iron and Stell Company, the Bessemar association and the Independent furnaces. The workers demand that on and after June 1st eight hours shall constitute a day's fvork at the same rate of pay now received for 12 hours, and that all ten hour men shall be reduced to nine hours at the present rate of pay. The men are now working 12 hour turns. "Turn" men" receive $2 per 12 hours, engineers and keepers $2 50 and laborers SI 50 for ten hours. Are You Using Allen's FootBase? Shake into your shoes Allen's FootEase, a powder. It cures Corns, Bunions, Painful, Smarting, Hot, Swollen feet. At all Druggists and Shoe Stores, 25c. * ? ? The Man for Governor. Mailing Enterprise. Among all the public men of South Carolina, we know of none who have I more of the sterling qualities that go to make up real character in a vigorous manhood than, can be found in , Dr. W. H. Timmerman, former State | Treasurer. You may find better orators, better looking men and may be more profound scholars, but none j with more character, if character is ( to be measured by the injunction, i "Do unto others as vou would have others do unto you." Hilton's Life for the Liver and Kidneys overcomes constipation. ! t cn ccm < v? but carit i FOR ANYBOD' :rom " STAR," " DRUMMOND" N lZOR," and E. RICE GREENVII The Protest of th.0 People. Chicago, May 1.?That the consumption of beef has fallen off 37 1 2 per cent, since the agitation against the packers began was admitted by leading packers seen by a reporter i._J rru~ tuuay. jluo peiuoutagc j,ivcu avoiages the calculations of the packers seen. One thousand beef cattle?not 10,000 as was reported?were left over from yesterday. Opinions varied as to whether trade today would clean up the 6,000 head served; One buyer declared that there would be more than a thousand left over while another expressed the opinion that the export business would clean up the total. A representative of one of the packing bouses said that the yards received 6,000 head of cattle today; a year ago today the receipts were 17,731 head. Receipts for April were estimated at approximately 140,000 head less than for the same month a year ego. The bill for injunction to be filed against the so-called beef combine is completed and all that remains to b^ done is to wait for word from Washington to act. Wants Others to Znow. UI have used DeWifct's Little Risers for constipation and torpid liver and they are all right. I am glad to indorse them for I think when we find a good thing we ought to let others know it," writes Alfred Helnze,- Quincy, 111. They never gripe or distress. Sure, safe pills. J. E. Kaufmann. Plant Corn. Chicago Live Stock World. Cheap corn is not to be expected for a long time to come no matter how bountiful the crop of 1902 may be. The granaries of the world are empty and old corn in the feeding districts will be a scarce article next j winter. At the same time the country is full of cattle and the demand for pork sufficient to justify raising more hogs than ever. Several bountiful crops of corn will be needed to glut the market with that cereal. Hilton's Life for the Liver and Kidneys tones up the stomach. ItlacArthur Takes Blame. Washington, April 29.?The Senate j committee on the Philippines continu- | ed the examination of witnesses in j connection with the investigation of j affiirs in the Philippine Islands. Gen. MacArthur explained a statement in his annual report that the United States had acquired sovereignty by treaty and, in a way, owned the Philippine Islands, but did not groundHavana Filler^ get better &tur&l Leaf, " GOOD I own the Philippine people, by saying these conclusions were reached by an infinite number of people, and they represented the bulk of the views of the Nationalist party. Senator Patterson sought to show it was not difficult to deceive Aguinaldo by forgery, and referred to his capture by Gen FuDston through a forged letter signed "Lacuna.'- Gen. MacArthur, with considerable emphasis, declared Funston was not responsible in any way for any of the methods which obtained in the capture of Aguinaldo. "I am responsible in that matter in every way and particular," said MacArthur. "It was one of the deceptions frequently practiced in war, and whatever responsibility attaches thereto I take." Job Couldn't Have Stood It If he'd had Itching Piles. They're terribly annoying; but Bucklen's At nica Salve will cure the worst case of piles oil earth. It has cured thousands. For Iojuries, Pains or Bodily Eruptions it's the best salve in the world. Price 25c a box. Cure guaranteed. Sold by J. E. Kaufraann. 1,000 Zill6d by Earthquake. San Francisco. Cal., May 2 ?The firm of Castle Brotners, of this city, have recieved a cablegram from Gautemala, in which their agent stated that more than 1,000 lives were lost in an earthquake April 18. More than 30,000 were rendered homeless. Of these a majority lived in the town of Quesaltenango. In the class that will graduate from the Atlanta Dental College next week are two young women who stand high in their classes. They * ! are trom Aiaoama ana Mississippi respectively and each intends to make dentistry her life profession. The war department has been forced to act and a wholesale courtmartial of officers ordered. Gen. Chaffee has been notified that President Roosevelt will not take any excuse as justifying inhuman conduct on the part cf the Americans. What's Your Face Worth? Sometimes a fortune, but never, if you have a sallow complexion, a jaundiced look, moth patches and blotches on the skin,-.ill signs of Liver Trouble. Bat Dr. King's New Life i Pills give Clear Skin, Rosy Cheeks, I Rich Complexion. Only 25 cents at I J. E. Kaufmann'd Drug Store. Six thousand miners, employed in the Bock coal fields of Clay and adjoining counties in Indiana, quit work | through a failure to agree on a scale, and the mines will be indefinitely closed. Give us a call when in town. I ! ft? j^ta?buyers.' Our stock is complete 'with all the mm .ft 1,1 rriiicirr Tiiiunci afi rrum pr tcnv aa gg '?#l mimi mim uf im smswi gg Our net spot cash system of buying and selling, coupled with experienced buyers, places us in a posi|nrg tion to offer prices that few can meet. gjrm 8Wp. invito you to inspect our stock when in Columb_ : - ..vxi't cost you anything and may save you Zz some hard earned nnerican Dollars. S3 By a .ial deal we are enabled to offer CJ gg &ggg ana box s suits gg S3 at extra special prices. S3 SB Our J10.00 Suits for Men are made of the BEST C9 ggpg MATERIAL and by the best workmen. For 55.00 jjjg SB we can give you a suit fit for anybody to wear. OB ?3 1,000 pieces fine Flowered Organdy, special, at 50c. ww |Jy| 1,000 dozen King's Spool Cotton at l?c. per spool. (JU fif} 5,000 pairs Men' Mixed Wool Trousers at 25c. a pair ftfj 25 We will be prepared to offer one of the largest Mai- ili AA aga Hats for men, at 10c. each. We have contracted ij5 for 25 cases and will be 50 per cent, under the market on these famous hats. aS Thousands of good things to show you. !gfcj S?? Thanking the readers of the Dispatch for their lib- aTpg SB eral patronage in the pasf and soliciting a continuance S3 of the same, I am the purchaser's friend, gjJ IW. F. Furfick. H @f| 1638 AND 1640 1IAIN ST., 'GO ?5 COLUMBIA. S. C. ?8 Standard Goods of all descriptions are the only kind kept * in stock in our new store, and those who wish to purchcase the latest novelties in Fall and Winter DRY GOODS, NOTIONS AND MILLINERY. as cheap as the same class of goods can be purchased elsewhere, should inspect this stock before purchasing. Honest values for your money is our guarantee, so if your want to buy goods that will prove to be just as represented, give us a call and you'll not be disappointed. WM PLATT. r MAIN STREET, NEARLY OPPOSITE POST OFFICE, COLUMBIA, S. C. October, 9 ?3m. Ml Carolina Marl Works, 1707 MAIN ST., COLUMBIA, S. C. ir?i SlflDDTr rflBAATTTI? toagMj. BLITIliltDUU ILLW UUiUUlII j I Dealers South. We use the best grade material in manufacturing ' 'l Monuments and Headstone-? and guarantee our work and fiinish to be the best. When you hear a man complaining that he can buy so much cheaper from some !?f?i t1 ^tt^e ^e^ow is anxious to sell anything, you can Put ^ down that he will get cheap stock, cheap work, and of course a cheap job. We can compete with any lair dealer in thi? country, but we cannot say we will sell as cheap as work. ' mnv a mm rrvrovf ro \ it i rtT rnmvr ww laui\ S UIMriMWiiVU, uiirii Li uu i uuimu.imu,, for sale. Write to us or see our MR. P. B. EDWARDS, LEXINGTON, S. C. and we will see that you are treated fair. SOUTH CAROLINA MARBLE WORKS. September 11. 44?tl