Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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r 1 The Lexington Dispatch. ! ] j[ Wednesday, November 13.1901. h ? M? 1_ Lii iiwing wnang1 s ' 1 "Washington, November 7 ?The ; State department officials do Dot be- | Heve the death of Li HuDg Chang j will have a serious effect on the Cainese situation. The work of pre J < ^ paring trade and commercial treaties j 5 is all that remains to be done in set- j 'Jing undertaking imposed iu China because of the recent Bjxer uprising. x The plans are so well understood ! that details can be arranged without ! blc BBfc Job Couldn't Have Stood It rf If he'd had Icchiog Piles. They 're ! terribly annoying: but Bucklen's Ar- ; nica Salve will cure the worst case of I piles on earth. It has cured thous ands. For Irjuiles, Pains or Bodily Eruptions it's the best salve in the world. Price 25c a box Cjre guaranteed. Sold by J. E Kaufmann. Talk About a New Treaty. ? Washington?Lord Paucefort, the j * British Ambassador has had a talk ^ 1 ~ Unn in fn fho ! W16U octroittt v aaoj ID^BHA ?W ~ preparation of the new Hay Paunce- i fort treaty. It is expected that in 1 * view of the progress that has been ( made, the convention may be conclud- ] ed, so far as the executive branch of ! I the government is concerned, the latt?r part of this week. ! ? I If the Bahy is Cutting Teeth, i \ I Be sure and use that old and well J 'jVfcried remedy, ?Jrs. "Winslow's Sooth- < ' ing Syrup for children teething. It Boothes the child, softens the gums, , allays all pain, cures wind colic and 1 is the best remedy for diarrhoea. | 1 Twenty-five cents a bottle. j j It is the best of all. b i i i The pension roll still carries four J widows of soldiers who fought in the American Revolution. ^ \H. T. Mclntyre, St. Paut, Minn , who has been troubled with a disI ordered stomach, sayo, "Chamber- < Iain's Stomach and Liver Tablets do ! me more good than anything I have * ever taken." For sale by J. E Kauf1 t mann. 1 Seoator Hanna's secretary says | : that since 1S95 500 children have | been named after the Senator. Florida is having the largest to- j bacco crop ever raised in the State. : J The average is 1,000 pounds to the i j acre. i 1 * i 1 Kalttanui from the Northern Wood j I tho i? r?iip?. fnr cniK'h*. i A marriage license was taken out * at Portland, Maine, last week, by Joseph Tilton, age 86. to wed Caro- ! line Griswald, age 82. | * Ip the Western Cemetery, Dundee ! 1 Scotland, last month there was un- ! j veiled a monument to the memory of James Bowman Lindsay, a selfmade * philosopher and scientist, who lived j before his time. Ia 1834 he wrote the following prophetic sentence: J ^Houses and towns will in a short s time be lighted by electricity instead of gas, and heated by it instead of 1 coal, and machinery will be worked r by it instead of steam.*' ' Last winter an infant child of \ mine had croup in a violent form," says Elder John W. Rogers, a Chris- ^ tian Evangelist, of Filly, Mo. "I s gave her a few doses of Chamber- 1 Iain's Cough Remedy and in a short i j time all danger was past and the < I enild recovered." This remedy not only cures croup, but when given as soon as the first symptoms appear, i will prevent the attack. It contains | no opium or other harmful substance j and may be giveu as confidently to a * baby as to au adult. For sale by J E. Kaufmann. i The Rev. EugeDe Harrelsor, pastor j of the Methodist Episcopal Church, \ South, at Madisonville, Ky, was i * aroused the other night by repeated efforts to enter his bouse. Hearing ... - , some one at the kitchen door, h^ 1 opened it and lired into ihe darkness. Some one ran and the minister re- * turned to bed. Next morning he 1 1 J found Jim L?wis, colored, lying mar j the door shot through the heart. ? , He was in his stocking feet and had 1 1 evidently planned burglary. 1 c i f\ BnnasaHBaRracansnKaEBmHza HANS, THE COBBLEE. j IE TELLS OF HIS TROUBLES WITH ' THE POLICEMAN. I lopsn'i Bellrvc In IIa\ing; n Pnll j With OltU-crs <?f (lio Law aiui ("on- ! gie?{U?'Mtly Iln* a Ilard Timp of It. us. i.so ? Hiirdon. [0;>vrij,'l:{. |.r ('. J?. Yhen 1 opens my shop for poorness, lot little tailed romes around t uud >ays: "Ilans, yon must start out ri.ahi. I>or irst tiling vitas to ?:et a pull nut dot xdiooniuns. If yon don't, you vhas in roubles." "How vlias pulls';" 1 says. "Yhell, you must treat him t<? peer. I laf a <-i^ar for him u:i?l praise him oop. jOTnetimes it vhas well to slip hi;u hall in? j ^ 'STTlilJEXDEK TO MK Of: Vol* YHAS A PEAT*. MANS !" i dollar or seud a case of poor to his louse. You must also lix his shoes for jottings.*' "But I shnll nofTer do it. I don't . >! ?? ?"<?> siimit iinll< It vl>Ms cement 4 " ? j ;>atohes for foe ft oi'n cents. uud if I : lease niy customers dey shall come j ?ack for half solos at forty." "It vliill !?c bettor if you <lo ash 1 ; ?iy," says dot tailor. "If I don't liaf ! >oino pulls in it dor policenians on my | :>oat. I vlitis gone oop long ago. Don't rou make some mistake <ui dot polieclians. lie vhas ash big ash a house, .iitd he oan stop sefen street cars at j pice by lifting his hand." I belief dot tailor vhas afraid, uud f make oop my mind dot I shall liaf 10 pulls. Two days vhas cone avhay rlieu dot bluecoat vhalks into my shop | md says: "Hello! So you vhas gone into peeslees. eh?" "Yes. dot vhas so." "Yhell. dot vhas all right, und I hope rou get rich. Can you lend me a dolar for a day or two?" "I couldn't spare her?" "(lot anything to drink nroundt lore?" "Only some fine water." "WEo vhauts water? T>i<l I lirar you isk me oafer to <ler saloon for peer?*' "I don't pelicf so." "Oli, you didn't!' Say. cobbler, do rou know who I vlias?" "You vhas a ppliceniaus." "Yes. uihI is dcrc a bigger man In dis J own dan a policemans?" "Yliell. dcrc vhas dor mayor nnd i ilderuians uud judges." I says. "Bali! Small fish! You belter got j rour eyes open.' cobbler, or you shall J lear something drop." Dot tailor comes again uud talks to ne, uud dot butcher uud plumber talk or an hour, but I don't like some lulls. 1 shu.st mind my own peesiiess ind don't say something to nopody. n two days dot poliecnians comes in j igaiu, uild he don't smile ash he says: I "So you keep some policy shop here, j ?b? 1 haf kejit ltiv eye on you, mid ! iow you vhas caught." "Who vlias policy':" I says. "Don't try to bluff mo. You try to j ook ash innocent as a child, hut I know j ou to bo a wicked old sinner. How uuch you make here by policy';" "I don't cafen know who policy vitas. ; shust cob'ole oop shoos." "Vhell. you can put me on sonic half I ;ole vbile I wait. Maypo I vhas misook aboudt dot policy. Hurry oop." "It vhas forty cents." I says. "Yliat! Yhat! You sbartre a police- J nans for fixintr his shoes! Yot: old j loary headed willain. hut I show you ; t hole lilit a trick in it!" I.'iid he knocks me aroundt my sliop : ill I falls down und esm't .tret oop. mid 'hen dor peoples comes rtishin.tr in dot ascals bends oafer me und calls oudt: "Poor mans! Poor mans! He vhas >ooch a hard worker dot he haf some | it und falls off his bench." Dot tailor says it vhas better if I ?if i M?l> U1JU Jtei Some UIIU tioi jiiiiiuw- ; >r says I may jh> found dead in my j iliop some day, l>ut I won't do it. Vljeu ; vlias mad. 1 vlias like a mule. .May- 1 >e it vlias a week pefore dot polieenans eouies in u^aiu. Hon he swings : lis club a roundl und says: "Cobbler* how dare you wioiate der aw in dis shameful manner? I noffer j ;ee soocli a bold scoundrel pefore in ny life." "How vlias I wioiate?" I says. "How; Yliy der front of your shop joes oafer der sidewalk line by two 'eet. Moaf him l>aek, sir?moaf him at nice!" "Rut it vlias der landlord who shall uoaf her." "Shut oop! How dare you talk to me ike dot? I know you. you oldi willain, md 1 don't stop till you vlias in prison. Did you say you had half a dollar dot rou ran spare for a day or two?"' -1 don*:." "I'm! you don't bring me a quart of ten* in my growler?" *[ vlias tempi*ranee." "OIi, you vluts! You vitas temperinee uud dead broke tied like io steal wo feet of 11IV sidewalk. I'y golly, but rou vitas a bold willain. und 1 liaf to rim yon nop a bit!" lie kaoeks me dot* same as pefore. ind mit eafery blow be rails me liars llid t'iefs tni'l bad names. 1 yells mill i?n<l uer |niiplcs <-(>inc in, but dot j ? -Tnm^?TTI policcmans shpcaks oop shently t:rd savs: "If dot cobbler don't take ;i wacntion. be vhas c. dead mans. lie wo:!;.- K-i hard, und dot slunell <<f leather vhas ahvavs in his nose." ? It takes my one week to ,c?t /let black und blue avhay. but 1 don't uif oop. I rub myself mil am:e:; und go to work, r.nd I haf six jobs on hand v'nen <Iot oflieer comes in aj.-ai::. 1 don't look at him. und ho yells oudt: "Surrender to me or you vhas a dead mans in two seconds!" "How you means';" I says. "I mean dot you vhas some counterfeiters und dot I lay l'or you und catch you. Ah. old villain, don't you polief I vhas spring.chickens! Mif me oop dose dies und molds." "Hut I don't liaf any.7 "Don't call me a liar. Do you suppose I don't know all about her? If you don't set seven years by Sins Sins. I shall cat my hat. Haf you s<'t a quarter handy':" "Not today." "Vhill you send out for some peer?" "I vkas too busy." "Yes. I see. You vlias so busy dot you don't know who I vhas. Mavpe you take me for t'nele Josh from der country. It vhas my pleasure to introduce myself." Und it vhas shust like pefore, und I pelief 1 vhas a dead mans in my shop. I can't holler, but my wife soos py der door und screams, und vhen ten peoples rush in dot polieemaus wipes a tear from his eye und says: "You see how it vhas. lie don't stfip to eat or sleep, und dor heart disease comes along uiul knocks him off his bench. I'oor feller! He worry careful mit hi ill. If he vhas to die. dor world would sadly miss him." M. Quad. A Conxiderate Fnthcr-in-law. "Yes," said .Mr. Cumrox. "1 have givcn my daughters every advantage." "I suppose they are very highly cultured." "I should say so." "And they will he he liberally dowered V" "Yes. sir. When I think of the way a man who marries one of those girls will he criticised in his grammar and deportment, it strikes me that he ought to he dealt with in a most generous spirit."- Washington Star. The Ruling Pn*sIoa. "Two er de hroth'rin got mr.d wid one n'er en 'lowed dey'd fight a duel dez lak white folks*. Now. you know, white folks alius tights dat a way wid pistols." "Dey sho' does." "Well. suh. I tromped five mile ter see do fun. hut what you rook in dey wuz fightin' wid w'on I got darr" "Lawd knows!" "Nilft in' !>ut homemade razors!"? Atlanta Constitution. Appropriate. It was very near the pole. "Times are dull." said the first explorer. "Let us have a game of cards." "Is there any suitable game for these frozen lands':" asked the second explorer. "Ah. yes: a 'freeze out' in a game of poker." Thus we see that even explorers are slaves of circumstances. - Chicago News. DSmcoi rrv. I 1 it /? Parrot?I've often wondered why monkeys had such hmjr tails'?Chieajro News. Man's Way. It's funny; a man arrives at the tiepot and. with a lot of people looking on. kisses his third cousin or his wife's brother's sister or other distant kin lie bns never seen befon?women Ii?* tines not want to kiss'and who ?!?? not euro to kiss him. Itut if 1st* knows a woman lit* likes to kiss he is eompelled to do it when no one is looking-?Atchison (.'lobe. Mr. .lucid (iranKrr'N C.iuonltvj. I dunrui why, but im wife- ?hc eels upset now and (lien Willi foolish notions as to gifts possess"!! by oshe-r inen. At fcrst it was the doctor; s!.e thought be beat 'ill) all; fciie praised hirn 'cause bis brow ws? broad and 'cause Jiis feet were small. And then site took the preacher up. and, fur as I could see, Vi'n'l neither of the two that b;<kid a single bit like rue. >rsi lime she sot kerflurornmd wa* when that lit lie Brown. The ><?fi voiced music feaclirr, ?.?:?:? diivin* down ire to town On W eiilK'-d:!ys ar.d on Friday' to t*ach the jrir!?to f?ijy. To hammer the piano and ?<(? ?.: !:?in ;.l! day; die .-aid lie was ju-t splendid a:id 'Wect as lit* cottld i.e. But tin re vnVt a look about i.im that reminded folks of me. 1'r.i fitly-otic; she's thirty, and hlant- sun! ! kin*. too; 1 ?'p..o tin- foolish things si e <h.is ii.?>t ai: in.VVolll?'ll do. Tl.or. '? aty- sonic tievv 1< iler s-ht :1 inks is ^r< at ami aiaed: The "Icilly !?.y" at pre* tit"- the ? j.ap "at 1?ads li'- band. And on- t!.i':s -ort of ftut:;;" iv.e. 1 uti';. somei.' w . just ?' c Why ail tin-i chaps that i: jr;:i "?r ?;< /: h .k a Id: like rtic. It:.. i . .alii. FOOTBALL AND EDUCATION. The tv:Itl young can of Borneo k;;? ( no hack to < -ollcgc; Hp isn't- keen on culture; he isn't ?!u< L on know!. .I-c. Cook "tlesifs" 2:vi "i*nss" are built, he know?, to cramp i.-\ So elects t'ne fooll all cntir-e ant! tuk: * it <-t: the campus. 'He isn't lone --n intellect: he's rut-or shoit iti t-lasses. But he's a perfect wonder < r. iu> kit -. khk* ar.d pilSv For Grecian roots in musty ton: s lie cocsu t ,00 a-bunt iiiiT. But vou'd forgive his ignoran.-e if vow vrr saw i;>s punting. lie doesn't !;Lf professors, mere hookwotins and coehrc.ac Ins; He lias a special trainer and gets his lore from coaches; He tak's that coach's word for law and even heeds conjee! 11 res. And when the coach veils, "Hold the hall!" it's just as good as lectures. His cap and gown are on the wall, his books Iveneatli the table; To serve football and learning the wild man isn't able. Shin pads, r.ose guards, spiked shoes and such like gearing. These arc his academicals, in aspect fjr from cheering. j With him the pallid cast of thought Is not the proper tasuton; Black eves and broken noses and hair a la Circassian, A Fiji, a chrysanthemum, a bogy man, a savage. And the earth looks on and trembles when he begins to ravage. For midi.igh' oil he has. we fear, most ignominious uses? A balm for kicks and cuffs and knocks, a liniment for hrui-e?. He knows a thing or two about reducing a luxation, but that's about the limit of liis higher education. His college course is innocent of matters 100 Scholastic: He gets some wholesome exercise, not mental, but gymnastic-. ? He isn't much on reading, and lie's not too spry I at thinking. But he learns to take a lot of bumps without as much as blinking. ?Detroit Journal. Re tnnrkable. The Major?Smiggs lias a remarkable memory for faces. lie met me i ouee. live years ago. and this morning he reeoguized niu instantly.?Chieago News. An Adverse Ilrport. Pro tul ma a?That daughter of mine is right up to date, I toil you: you must have noticed that she always lias the utmost respect for the style of the day. Shocker?Oh. 1 don't knou*. When I j saw her last night, she was sitting on the stile with young Ilagadoru.?Kich! inninl THsiiafeli Trnly I nrur.il. "How did you like tlt:tt play of ruml life?" "It's a fraud." answered Mr. Corptosi sel. " 'Tain't true to nature. I understand ail thein farm folks on the sta.se stays up till 11 or 12 o'clock every night o' their lives!"?Washington Star. A J'lnch of I'cppfr. Old (.'losby?H-tn! Now that I have finished eating I think I shall go out j and get weighed, j Waiter?I wouldn't advise it. sir. Old i'losby?You wouldn't? Why not? Waiter?Because, sir. you might have j to tip ihe scales.?('hicago News. Jiniinic'x Uucrjr. "All of you who never told a lie raise i your hands," asked the teacher of her ! small pupils. "Please, ma'am." piped little .limmic. "is it a lie if nobody finds it out?"'? Ohio Slate .Journal. Couldn't Scare Hint. "ITirnin." she said sweetly, "the doej tors are writin' again "bout there beiu' i germs in a kiss." j "All right. Molly: please gimme six I genus right now!"?Atlanta Constitu- I j tion. .?n*t fishln'. "Art* you Jisliing for pleasure, sonny?" "Now. I'm :i-lisliin' ter see if Here's ! auy tish in <iis pond!" ? New York ! World. | .Inst So. "T never heard siieli a noisy hoy. j ! You area regular rumpus." j "And I suppose, paw. if you rcise me | i you'll he raising a rumpus.**?t'hieago j , News. [|JT | / / / \\ / ! { \ \ \ ;1 ' I ! "I >< :jiivi! 11i:ii i N?>: y?in i11f ! '! :i:-* r. j hl?iMil ?11' No. :: ? Jlirtvul." ?Now V?ifk ! : J in: r-uri I. .v-jrrs.r afi.... . -- ~rr' .. -? J-i-'" 'L'.a I at rj Bee Hive Low A Gl'F.AT OWOMTXITY ' HIGHURADEVIBRW I 554 MAIN STRE One case of Kine Silk Fleece i Drawers, the regular SI .0 : 1 ease of Wool Fleece Health better made, the #1.00 kii 1 ease of White Lamb's Wool ers. worth ?l.o<>, during 1 4 cases of the regular 00, (j() ai Double and Single Breast out door Workingman'sC .49 cents, all colore. Wc discount to large purchase I Our Clothing Department is We carry in stock all the up to date garments of tli a ?0.00 hill and see what > return in a nice suit or. o >1. FRANK, | 1554 MAIN STREET September I [Iharle$tonT]oor^ MANUFACT DOORS, SASH, BLI MILL WORK A Write for Estimate. ) CATAI We Save You Money. Se: Our Goods are the Best.5 on Bee Factory Saw Mill and Ponds: Ashley River and CummiDg's Creek. 21 April 24?J y. To Cure a Cold in One Day Take Laxative Brorno Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund the money if it fails to cure. E. W. . Grove's signature is on each box 253/' ^ - ?? ARIZONA KICKLETS. A Xnnibfr of Lively I tenia From & Lively Paper. ft opyriglit, 11)01, l?y <'. It. J.cv.i?.] I; will soon be time again for us to buckle on our guns and interview the half dozen shyster lawyers who have j brought libel suits against The Kicker | during the past six months. W'e always enjoy such occasions. We don't say that the critter who put a bullet through our hat tile otIter nigln as we were tilling home front Blue Valley intended assassination, but we think such jokes out of place and can't appreciate them. Our feet were cold for two hours after we got home. It is not exactly true that the editor of this paper, who owns 11,000 acres of desert land, is going iuto strawberries next year. ?le lias tigured it out that it would take eight barrels of water to a berry ami 111:11 ne woum n;i\c iu uis a canal lifty-fonr miles long to get it. Our best hold is politics. Dr. Johnson is the last physician to 1 hang out his sign anions us. and he is I said to be rapidly building up a prar- i tkv. If it turns out that In* knows a j case of the whooping cough from a compound fracture of tic* log. we sliall j be glad )(f his coming. .Most of the ! other doctors 1:1 town pieked up their knowledge in a blaeksmitli shop. It may have l?eeti observed that The j Kicker never says "it is alleged" so j and so. We always a man a mtir- j derer or a horse thief if we think lie is j one. and if he can eotivinee us to the j contrary we nuke him an apology, j This keeps things pretty lively, hut it | gives general satisfaction. This town is not sending out boom : pamphlets as to its eiiurelies. sehools. j factories and railroads, but if any man is looking for a place where lie can j ?ft out <ii)(l ye-II ;iuy nine tie w.-jih> m t or where In* '"in sliool nil 'l:iy Jong ami ; not have to look for other people this | place should he jjtveti a fair trial. I Major tJeorjrc Scott and' cx-.Tttd.sr j Truesdale tired six shots at each other j in front of i lie post oilier yesterday. | and each escaped unhurt. That such ; _ J-U'i' PC ~"r"") ' v? (j ?i n-xf ^ I ^3 s"~~> j fti:ki> six sir:its at i:\ptt ht::11: in i kont Of i UK HiSToi J |. c. men :ir?- 1'iTiiiiiic'il in curry ^u:is in- | >i* :hi ?>f !i:mtHis must in tiiim riiK Price Store, j TO J$U VKUS IN SEED OF uiATunrmn, :ct orII I IMDI A _ L_ I , WWUUITIUin. Lined Shirts and 0 kind, HS cents. I Lnderwear, no [id. at <>2A cents. Shirts and 1 >ra\vthis siilc . ?1.10. id 7*"> cents Heavy ed Fleece Lined 'oni fort, as a flyer. make a liberal crs. second to none, high grade and o r* ie season. Bring ,ve can give you in vercoat. ? , Pi-oprietoi', COLUMBIA, S. C. 5m. j ASH AND! UMBER [lo URDUS OF ENDS, MOULDINGS, >ND LUMBER. IOG-UE ( CYPRESS AND at - YELLOW PINE luest. ( are Our Specialties. umce and iiiras: to 47 Ashley Ave., CHARLESTON, S. C, i>:ike (livendnm (Juleli the laughing stock of the territory. We have personally given each the cohl cut. The report in the Chicago papers that the mayor of this town (who is onrself) had shot Alderman Skinner dead during a session of the common council is the veriest nonsense. The alderman contended that a motion to adjourn was always in order, and we had to thzow liini over his desk to satisfy hint that there were exceptional instances. We understand that Mr. John Shine lias returned to (liven dam (.Julcli after a three months' residence in New Mexico. It is said * 'nit lie didn't exactly admire the waV in which a vigilance committee danced him around at the end of a rope, .loliu was always rather particular on the subject of iiis neck. M. Quad. Sounded KmAilhtr. "You wretch! You miscreant! You worst of villains!" exclaimed the heroine at rehearsal. The heavy villain, who had just joined the company, looked patiently aggrieved ami said: "Excuse me, is that in the part or arc you acting as stage manager':"?Washington Star. Women as Well as Men Are Made Miserable by Kidney Trouble. Kidney trouble preys upon the mind, disrnitracrfts and lessens ambition: huautv vicor tand cheerfulness soon disappear -when the kidneys are out of order or diseased. Kidney trouble has become so prevalent that it is not uncommon for a child to be born afflicted v/ith v/eak kidneys. If the child urin ?w - ates too often, if the urine scalds the flesh or if, when the child reaches an age when it should be able to control the passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wetting, depend upon it. the cause of the difficulty is kidney trouble, and the first step should be towards the treatment of these important organs. This unpleasant trouble is due to a diseased condition of the kidneys and bladder and not to a habit as most people suppose. Women as well as men are made miserable with kidney and bladder trouble, and both need the same great remedy. The mild and the immediate ettect ot Swamp-Root is soon realised. It is sold free, also pamphlet tell- Horn* ot Swamp-Root, ing all about it. including many of the thousands of testimonial letters received from sufferers cured. In writing Dr. Kilmer & Co.. Binghamtcn. N. Y., be sure and mention this paper. GUITmi ML ' COLUMBIA, S.C. STJTE, CI TV \.\D COO TV DEPOSITORY Paid up Capital ... $200,uOO Mnrnlns Profit.-? . . 60.000 Saving's Department. Deposits of $5 <H) iiud upwards received. Interest allowed at the rate oi 4 per cent, per I'tmnm. W. A. CLAliK, Frosident. Wimk -Ionks. Cashier. December i?ly.