The Lancaster ledger. (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, April 18, 1866, Image 1
/ TOLl'ME Yl. ^ LANCASTER C. H., S. C., APRIL 18, 186(5. ^ MiMft 10.
$rlrrtrit l>tnri|.
SPEAK GENT;-!.
: o:
"I ah certainly at a lo?? to kt.tfw what
io do with the boy," aaid Mr*. Huron to
ter hunhanJ. with much concern on her
htea, and to an anxioua tone of voice. "I
aver jie'd 10 liia itnp?riou? tafhper; 1
haver indulge him it. any tiling; I think
almut btoi and ear* about' him all the
time, but ?e? no good fctiutra.'*
VVHtl. Mr. It....? ?-= - -
.. ...? 'Hitwai " r|P~;? K H
bright, aeii*a boy, At^lit trm of *g??,
urn* dualling into tha roofft, and without
b??d?ng any on?, romm-nrad beating on
(ha window ail'a and mat ng n deafening
Boiaa. ..
' Incorrigib'a boy J" exclaimed hi* mo
tliff, going qniral* up to bitn.and j-?kmg
thai it irk out of liia hand*. "'C-n I laMrn
yotV neither manner* nor riacenctr ! I
Lava told you a hundrad times that whan
yba coma Into a roout wbara ant onw i?
aittmg, tou inuat b# quiat. Oo tip stair*
tbia inoinant, and don't lat ma at? your
faca for an hour."
Tha boy hscame anlky for a mr-mini,
and *tood where ha wan pouting andlv
"Did you ha-?r ?U: I amd ? < ?? up
stair* (bin inoinatu !"
1.
Mr*. 1>iirion ?pok* in n rery aiign
ton*, ami looked quite afc angry a* *h?
rfpoke. *
Slowly tit* boy ino*e<} toward* th* door,
a keowl darkening In* far*, that war bill
A moment be'oie ?o bf'ght and ch?*rfn .
Ilia ?t*pa wet* ion deliberate fur the n**r
excited (eeling* of In* ninth*r; aim *|.raltg
toward* hitn, ami re zing ! iin bv the arm,
puah*d hi it i fc^m ili? mom ami cl-*aed th?
'door loudly *fi?i bint.
"I declare I ato all nut of heart 1" ?>.*
exclaimed, iuki'ij{i down upon a chair.
"Il ia lin* upon,It ft* and precept upon
precept. and nl| ta tin good pttrp.n* Th*
boy will break my Imari \ *i !**
XI r. II dhoti *atd nothing. Ion lie u?
plainly ahongh that it war tint all the
child'* fault. lie d uh'ed il>a tile of
toothing mil and Baying th-* un? qnivnrallt.
Although he had often been <111 lite pnin'
of dfiin.v an i??nlniit??il?' ' '- l-?'- '1 -
tamper of lit* nrifn m wall. and t??r ? it'iar
Blkil tVaPeSA ab"lll CVBrvlline tl'ftl ' k-d
!iks charging any fault up in that
ha f#?r?d ill?t .more ha?m iti?n (r ,f.<|
wott H result froip an* aiteinpi nn hit part
lb elmty Ii^r iliiltlii ? titor* il.an li-lf
to hlamrf for lha t>nt's pereeraan*** of
tamper. Onra nr t*ic* ih? little fellow
ahov bwttaelf al.the do?r. but *?? driven
hark nith bar hare'i wprd? ub' l ilia lomr
for arrived .The ou'ul <>f iha ball
aauaad nn instant nb ir ?>*? "f all iba <ba
ttfra-rah'e intpreaeiooa made un??n l is
mind. H a lube frvat. "tla*are.| the wel.
cam* umiiinn* with a clatter tliA' stunned
lb* aara of bia mother.
"On bark, air I'1 aba aaii) ??arnlr. as ha
burat open tka dining rnmn door ard aat
it awinjjing. wjth % loud conru?? on agtin*'
<U ?-II ..--J ? :#
? *? *? , ?? ii cam wnik mora
lik* * bov than a h'?r?a 1
MuMtr llfl'irf aitlidra* pouting nit
hitf rmr lip# to Mi* riiamnr* of fuM an in?-h
Li a waat op ona flight of alalia, aaii tiian
raturnad.
"Go op to tha third atory wlitrt von
tartad front, and com# down qn atlr a'l
* |ha war. or you ah nil not Kara a noailifal
f nuppar."
**I don't t?nt to," wl.inad tha hoy.
"Oo op, ( tall Ton, thia imtaM. or I
win tend you to had without aaything to
at,"
? foia waa a throat that form#? akparitnca
bod taught might ba riptrtH, and ao ha
tiaamad it hattar to lul rn-t, than to pay
too riaarly for having Ida own wnv. Tha
dwtanea to tha third atory waa mado in a
faw light apringa. and than ha rama pat
latlng down aa !ightlr< and took hia plara
at tha tabla quickly hut qmatlrt
. ""Thorn, thaw, not no fa?t ; tou'vn got
pUwif to not; and lima aaough to aat it
in." ? s
It arty aat Mad hWaalfdown to thatahla
aa qnifpiy aa hi#trarcurial apirila would
aUosr, and tried I* waii.nntil b*
helped, bet In Ifht f>f hid ?ff<?rtn to do en,
ble hand went o??r into the bread harltet.
A look front kit mother eauaed him to
drop tba elite bo bod lifted; H woe oot o
" ' j
look in which thara waa much atfcciioh.
Wlnl? wniiiac to ba t^elpwl, liia handa
wrra busy ?nh hi* knifa and foi k, making
? m?^t mi^'a aunt cUttar.
I'lit \our hai'ila down !" hartbly apoi
kan, rfiiifilini thin evil, or rather acni ilia
?ctivp m vnnoiita front tht litlie fallow's
Im'hIi io bin teat, thai commenced a awing
tig ino ion, I.ia leal striking against tba
t'liHir,
' Keep tour feat till," caused this to
After oue or two mor? reproof*, the boy ,
w*? l?-ft 10 hini?elf. An soon as ha received
hi? cup of tea, he poured tha an
tua run e it? in:o hia saucer, and than
tried to lilt it steadily to hia lips. Iu
doing this, lie spil'ad i third of its con
tents ?49ilit tnl'la c'oth.
"A l?ox on tl>? ear, and a storm of an
g r y words rewarded this fewt.
'II itreu'i I tol?l you over and over
spam, Ton incorrigible bad hoy, out to
pour the whote of your lea itito ths saucerf
J net see *lint m mass you have made
with that cla n table eloih. I declare I
am out nt all manner of paliatifa with
you. Go away from tha tabla tins in
"lam !"
II -<rry want crv?np away, not in anger,
but in grief. lie lied spilled bis law bt
accident IIis mother had so inarv re
proof* h in I it.jiiiiciiouS to tn"i?k*, '.hat tbe
lunrina of iheiu a11 in tn<nd war an on
posttMe thing.' A* to pouring out alt liia
lea at n liiii*, lie hail no recollection of
any interdiction on ilie nulijrcl, although
it tiad been made ov4r and over agon
l< zene of tones. In a little time lie came
creeping nlowlv b?rk, ami resumed I mi
place at tlie table. hi* eve* gaZ'ng wiaful.
Iv on liia m itber'e face.
Mr* Hurton wae aorrv lliat abe bad
aent bull M?ay for wliat- was only an act
cidtfnl. She bad fell ann bail barilly been
jtiat lo tlie ilioughilraa boy. She did not j
oljrct to liia coining.~t?ut ?a>tl, aa betook
hie eeat, "N??t time eee thai you er? |
more careful. ! Iiate told you a^ain a<uj
again not to fill your aancer to the hrim?
ton can never do it without apiHin^ your
lea on the taMe cloth." Tine was not
apoken hi kmd'ieai.
A arena emn*wliat similar to thie *a<
eoaried at every rneal, Itul :n?taal of on.
provii.g ill Ilia hehatriour, the !i"V gre*
more headlea*. Mr. Iturtnu rarel? aanl
an\thing to II irry a'mul hie unruly man
I nera, l>m wrho'i he dill, it *a? eiitlinent
| That word wne iiildlv Vet tirmlv *p->k<-n
i II* d>d not think h ot a had lair, or
j diffi;u!l to man ?ge. At least he never
fount Inin eo.
"I w a!i I knew what to do with that
child t' aaid Mra Uurlon. after the litile
fellow had hren rent to had en hour he
fore Ina tune, in ron<aquenre of ahme eio
laiion of law and order. "lt? makes me i
feel unhappy all i|te wlti'M. ( dialtke to |
I he r?c?ver act-Id ng Jiirtl?hut what can I
! f If I <? ?! mil Curb Kim ion* wit,
there Writi d l>? nu living in the hou?e wi<|i
It m I Min afra-d lie will caliae a world
of trouble "
Mr burton rat aiUnt. 1I?* wanted to
inV a ?<>rd on fbe aoldert, hut he feared
(ha effect rt)it{ht not be what daair
rd
* I wUh vou would advii% ma what to
do," ??id hia wife, rather peluleoi'y
**Vou alt. and don't ihv a a'ng'e woid, aa
I if you had no kind of intaraat in iha mat
tar What an^| todu t ! haveexhfcu?ted
, all iiit own reawutiea, and faal completely
at a loaa."
"Thar* ia a way which, if you adopt, I
think might do a grial deal of good n
Mr. burton apoka with a alight appearance
of hveitatinn.
"If T?-u would apwak gently to Itarry,
I am aura you woulj I hi abla to manage
him batter than you do "
I Mr*. Burtan'a far* waa etimtoned in an
Inataoi; ah* fell the reproof keenly ; her
aatf on tea m waa aeverely rounded.
J 'Apeak t?Btly, indeed!" aha replied.
"I might at Wall rpe*k to tba wind; I
ain ararcal j baard now, at tha top of my
anica."
A* har hunband did not *ign? tb?
m?M?r with har, nor any anything that
was calculated to kaap up tha aieitamant
under which aha wm laboring, bar faa1inga
in a litlla whila qniatad down, ami
liar thought# h^cnma loiira. Tha Wurda
"epaak gently," war* ennatanOy in har
mttid, and ibara waa a raproait g Import
in ibaos. On going to bad that night*
sha could not slsef> for several hours?
liar mind was too busily angagad in rs
risking her conduct to bsr child. 8hd
claarly psrc?iv?d thatsha had too frs
quant aulTared h?r mind to gat angry
and axcilott,' aftid that slta was oft an ani
noved at trifles, that Ought to havs boan
overlooked.
"I am afraid I havs heart O'njust to my
child," aha sighed, turning ovar and o*ar
again on her pillow.
* a a *
J "I will try to do better," aire said to
| a * , ?
I herself, as she arose in the tnoroiiYe, feel
inu 11Itl?s refreshed from aleep. Before
alio win ready to leavs her room, alia
heard tlrrrv's voice calling bar from the
next chamber, wbara heslept. Tba tonea
were fretful ; ba wanted some attendance,
and wan crying out for it in a manner
tliat instantly disturbed tba mother'*
feelings. She was about telling bim to
be quiet until aha could finish dressing
herself, when tha words ; "'speak gentlv,"
seem whispered in her ear. Tha effect
was magical ? the tuothei'e spirit was
subdued.
'"I will apeak gently," aha murmured,
and went immediately to ilarr^ who wo
atill cryinj; out fretfully.
Tha ! </ looked .up with aurpriaa ; hi*
eve brightened, and tha whole expression
r i.:- t _i j !? ? ?
V ml im cimii|;ffl in an instant.
"I can't find my stocking*, mamma,"
he said.
"Thar are under the bureau," replied
Mrs. Huron, ** gently as aha Lad first I
spoken.
"Oli yes, to thay are," cheerfully ra(rliao
Unify; "1 coulde'nT are them no
where."
"l>id you think crving would hring
| them !" This whs said with a smile, and
in a tons so uiiliica his mother's that liiv
chid again looked up in her face; with
Surpst-e that w,?, Mrs Hurion plainly
s*w, mingled with pleasure.
"Do you waut any thing else f" aha
asked.
"No mauims," ha replied .cheerfully,
"1 e*i{ dre?t myself now."
Tha first hltla effort was crowned wih
the most encouraging issults to the mo
iniir, Hue ie'1 <lr?p |>*ac? MMllmjJ III lirr
(V?*til|i-lll? COII*ci.>U*lie*S ol hating tr? i,.d
?* 'rue victory over ilia heart of her buy
II Wrt* a I in >e *Ct till: il W?* I tin fifHI (ruilK,
and gaihrfritii; kg small a har>??t om
to tbn a >ul.
For the first time in many month* the
breakfast table ** pleasant to all. liar, I
ry never once interrupted tbe conva>aation
llitaI pasted between lna father and moth
er. Wlietv he asked f?r 4iin thing, it was
to a way pleasing to all. Once or twice
Mr*. Billion found it necessary to correct
noma tittle fault in manner*, but the wav
in which did it disturbed not hi* teno
per, and instead of not seeming not to
hear her word*, a* it had almost alwat*
b?r?n lliiCMf, lis regtrded nil thai wag
aii), ami tried to do aa she wiehr-d.
"Ti er# is a wonderful power in (amis
words." remarked Mr. burton to bis wife,
after Uarry bad l?f\ lb# tab's.
"Yea, wonderful, indeed; their* effect
sui pjicee me.''
"Love is strong.**
'So it reetns?stronger then stir other
influence we c*u bring to Iter ou a bu,
men bemg.^
Dave, ws?k?, months end fears went
l?v ; duniig all this ijme the mother com
tinned to strive earnestly with her child.
Tlte happiest results followed ? the frot.
fol, passionals, disorderly I my Ucime
evwti ntioded and orderly in bit habit#. A
word gently spoken was all.powerful in
it# influence for good, but the least shadow
of h sisbnesa would arouse his stubborn
will and deform the fair face of bis young
spirit
Whameer mothers complain to lira.
HiUlnri of iks <ti(R?>till? rt? S...J -
? w. ?.t ? VM'VWI \M?J M till III
managing l^t'r chi'drrn. the |im hui on*
l?i*e* of advic* lo gita, and that i* to
*'tp*ak c*ntlT."?Ooafri Mtanngtr.
^ "Jan*, hat that aurly fallow cl*ar?d off
j!i* anow from lb* pavaittamt"
mY*?, air."
"Od h* cUar it off with alacrity,
Jnaaf"
"No. air; with * ahot*1.w
On* hoar ln*t iu tb* morning by lying
a b*d will p*| back all tb* bu*in*a* of
tb* da/.
Thad. Stevens' Yallef Gal on
the Rampage.
Ths ditor of th? Lancaster, (P?-,) I??
tslligencer is in imminsot dsugcr. lienr
what l>n s*ts i
YeMerda* aftsrnonft, ws wSr? fatored
| wiui n viaii imrn * "lady of high daern"
ill ihia city. She claim) to stand high in
social life, and it of the fMshinnHbU hue
about the color of a new teddle. She
hat loag pretided over the household af
f.iir# of that grim old Mephistophelean
septuagenarian who to admirably repre.
sen's the {.parte ne^ro population of Lan
<-aeter County, and ao completely mis
represents tl.e voters of this CuEgression"
ul District, by ignoring everything that
i mams to hare any relation to the white
racf.
We are protUffhiafly polite especially
to the ladies Being a bachelor,we have
an aimable weakness that way. Whelli
er they may be maid, widow or blooming
matron, we are at their command. Kec
ognizing the voice which accosted us from
behind as that of a female, though it was
somewhat cracked, and a little harsh
withal, we turned around with our court
Ilea smile. Judge, Rssder, of our amaze
ment when we aaw before us a dingy ter
ir.ngaot, laboring under intent* excite1
ment, with etee that Hashed a rengeful
fire. A torrent of accusing words issued
from her lips. We were amazed, stun
tied, stupefied. Before we could recover
our accustomed equan'miiy, the very im
rtoftit it Inrm r<( ? > ? ??
r - p, ? ? '? ?n?rinnin
her of our firm appeared upon the icroi
of action, wlieu the following dialogue
ensued :
Th*d. Stevens' housekeeper?Wltf.
why did toii publish me in your paper f
Our corpulent partner?(In a peculiar
Iv Mend lone of voice, for whicli lie in
n<>ted.) ? Madame, when did we piihh-h
\Bn >ti the paper 1 Wliat do you mean t
Thud Stevens' housekeeper?D'dn't
you call ma Mr 9?evene' idol I
Our pirtnar?(With e roguish leer it)
his eve )? Are you his idol f
Old Thad's housekeeper ? Elcitedly,
and with a convulsive gasp that threaten*
ed to choke her ) No?nil!
Our pjriner ?(With one of his broad
esi a11.ile~) ? Why, then, niadaine.do vou
IV |<? ? (HirM I I
Mr, Nt?r*iis' linnnekaeper?(Villi *
wonderful'? ?*'f important air.) ? I have
been wiiu.f upon b* mora ilian h d?Z?n
liiglilv re?p*riaMe whiter l?d>en *rid'g*n.
lb-men, ?ll of wliuin.ha** inamted tlmt I
ougltl to coma and demand an apolog*.
Our partner ? (With a towerin g riignb
ir coinuieiiaurate with (lie occasion.)?
Madame, we l,t?? no ep-ilngv to make.
lion. (!) Thaddeua Steven*' liou??keep
#r?(With ilia air of on* win wnuM protect
another)? You are alway* aLunng
Mr. Stevenr.
Our partner?(With a glow of pairi
otic eti itement) ? Mr. Steven*' acta ara
public prnperiy, and w* have yet to learn
iliat we must consult you in regard to
what we ahall say of tiietn or kim. Are
yoo bin keeper f
Housekeeper of our Congre**m*n??
rI,.^; o..\. v i o .. i
,....KW~U>J i.iu i put I !) ? plenty
of backings-Iota of it?white at that.
Our partner?(S*Tagel\) ? Why didn't
you Mud eonie of your while Lackers
ln-re f We might have known better
iow to desl with them.
O d Thud's housekeeper?(In a furt)
? If?if eeer?if eeer hit name appear*
in your paper Again, I will?will?cow
hide the editor !
Kail the Inn colored termagant, in A
fury?slamming the d>Kir behind her.
Maahtiko for Mokkt?A prudent
end well disposed member of the Society
of Friend* once ymre the following friend
ly edTiee :
"Jnba," AAid lie, "I hear thou Art going
to be niArried **
"Yea I Ain," replied John.
"Well, I have only one little piece of
adeico to giro thee, and that ia, neeer
marry a woman worth more than thou
art. Wh?n I marnad my wifa, I a?i
wonh jual fi'lj caaU, and alia waa worth
ai?ty?two canta; and whan any diffaraneo
h*a occurad batwaan ua ainca, aha haa al
waya thrown op iha odd ahilling."
Why ia a wamka ineuraion likaa lady
in full droaa f Bacauaa it h I raid (arra/ad)
Tor cooqnaaC.
Tax Pay era.
We famish below a tab'* of rates for
the different licensee required under the
Internal Revenue Laws, which will be
interesting to ell concerned :
R'ATtn 01 LICKN8K.
Wholesale Dealers, $50
Retail Dealers, 10
Retail f. Mini F>..lo? -
_ ^ "? tO
Horse Dealer, . - 10
. Livery Stable Keeper, 10
Intelligence Office, - 10
Insurance Agents, 10
Auctioneers, . 10
Manufactories, - - 10
Brokers, - - - 10
Commercial Brokers, 10
Distilleries, i i 10
Brewers, I 60
P-dlera, with more than 2 horses, 60
Pedlars, with 2 horses, 25
PeiHere, wit'- 1 horse, - 15
Peillers, on foot, 10
Apothecaries, . . 10
Photographists, - 10
Rectifiers, - 15 ,
Tobacconists, 1-20
Coil Oil Distillers, - - 10 '
Butcher*, - , ? 10
Bowling Altera, I - 10
Billiard Tallies, 10
Eating Houses, - 15
Confectioners, 10
Lawyers, . t . 10
Physicians, 10
Claim Agents, 10
Real Estate Agents, 10
Insurance Agents, i 10
Conveyances, ? - 10
Hotels according to reat at estimated
value of property. ? Ntw Era.
The Devil Killed.
On* night laat wt?k a man in Caroline
county wan aroused by an unusual
noise in his yard, and went out and found
that S'>n.e one had broken open bis meal
bone**, and was making off with bis meal,
lie hailed the supposed thief, but found
to (lis astonish men l that he lind waked
I up the moat unearthly looking four leg
ged customer lie ever beheld. At first he t
Was tempted to leave the field In the intrudar,
hut not liking to lone his meat,
he concluded, to make at him. H* w <?
met by a ferocious growl. lie at once
ran to the house, got his gun, and blazed
! away at the trimmer. The shot h*<l
, about the same impress-on on <l ax would
, he produce'! I?y shooting green pern*
I against * hrick r?all. 1 he devil ottered
I an infernal growl. )>l)0<>k his chain*, apit
xp.tkx of tirn from h'* inoolli, and li led
the air eilli the attir|l of brimstone. Tiie
utiearililr maiiifeaialioiis of the demon
made the hair stand on the man** head ;
hut he could not hear to lose his bacon.
He then, nothing daunted, determined to
have another fire a', the devi', and took
llie precaution to put a minnte hu'iel in
his gun. The shot took effect directly in
the eye of the monster, and he rolled up
on the ground a lifeless corpse. Upon'
stamina!ion it was found to he a negro
man, wrapped in a ni-ile skin, which lie
had padded and fixed up, to render itim
pervious to shot, and the (ire and hrimatone
was hut an artifica intended to
frighten awn? intruders, while ha romi
milted the robbery.
Faitu Extraordinary.
At Zsnesville. Ohio, there ere msnv
colored peopje who lire by bHfbering and
other hght work. They are, for the m??t
: part, an orderly and quiet people, inany
| of them religious, having a church of their
i own, and an ebony mini?'er, all of which
they are justly proud. One cold evening,
in a time of great revival in the church,
thia expounder was delivering a powerful
appeal on "fa^h" The groana and eohe
of hie hearer* gave token of in effects on
their imp,*M:ble natures. The tears stood
upon the dark cheeks of the speaker, his
voire Quivered like dietani thunder, while
he emphasised by vigorous blows upon
the table tn the midst of all tide, the
etnve, agit* U*by his j srring blows, rolled |
ever the floor. Brother Lewis, a very
high man in the church, had located
himself near the comforter of shins; he
stood irresolute, when the voice of hit
minister came to him laden with fa^b ?
"Pick up de etr>ve. Brudder Lewie, pick
up da ?to?a, ?U I/ord won't let it bum 1
you." Brother Lawia' miod w?? fill?d
up with of (with ha hxd haard
that Tallin/, ?< lit ?i?ld*-d to til* appeal
of hit prtaohar, graM.ed lha hot ntnva,
but dmppad it ioalahtly, and turning hit
raproacbfull araa to the di?cipla of faith,
atelairuad, "Z>? A?/ h$ won'tP*
A Laughable Accident.
A corrsspondent oF lbe"Ca:ro Times
writing from Jackson, Tenn,, und*r dat?
or uia zYin ult., records the following ludicrous
incident :
A laughable incident occurred nt tire
lepoi to day. The Train for Mobile
brought up several barrels of shell oysters.
A number of country negroes stood
by, and never having seen oysters befpre,
were somewhat astonished at the appearance
ot the bivalve. "WhRr be mouf?"
exclaimed one of the more inquisitive.?
"Hoar uni eat, eh ! Gollr ! I tinks tun
nuflin 'cept a bone. Yah ! yah 1" ho
continued, laughing at his own wit. "I
spec some white mar. link n??ga a fool
when be call dat ting isler."' Jsist Mien
he discovered an open oyster, and seizing
it eyed it closely. Not satisfied with the
examination he placid it to his nose, but
no sooner was that organ inserted between
tlteshells than they closed ; nigger
howled with pain and called out 'I'ull
urn ofT, pull irn off !" but the more the
oyster was pulled the more it would not
let go,*, ar.d as poor CufFea danced and
yelled, his frantic efforts to rid himself of
his uncomfortable nasal ornament were
both ludicrous and painful. "Ilit urn
wid a stick," suggested a buxom wf.r.cb,
?nd in a moment the oyster was knocked
right and left with a hearty will; but
CufFee'a head went with it. "I'inclt be
tail," cried a little nig, "and lie sure to
lei go!" but there was no tail to pinch,
and poor Cufl'ej seemed doomed to wear
the ovster forever. At this momeit an
intelligent contraband" whipped out a
knife, and with it soon severed the oyster.
CuQee looked at the shels with amaze*
ment, and finding the oyster toothless,
threw it away, with the remark, "Una
got no tevf, hut he gum it powerful P
< ? i^i - The
announcement that dry .goods had
fallen quite an hundred jrer cent, in New
York has caused them to topple in Richmond.
Already calicoes of good quality
and patterns are selling at twelve and a
half cents per yard, and of course other
goods will subside to a corresponding
price.? Whin.
That Chap Didn't Writs It.?A
young mati of promise out in Wisconsin
r?xd the declaration of Imlepen Jence at a
Fourtit of July celebration. A rural
cri'ic whs aiked what fie tliouglit of it.
Well, lie rend it very well, but I don't
believe that chap wrote it."
A New Orleans piper save, "We bad
tbe pleasure yesterday of inspecting a
a beautiful set of silrer spoone." We
betieve silver spoons are scarce there,
since a certain military personage left,
A lower, vainly trying to explain some
scientific theory to bis fair inamorata,
aid, ,4The ques.ion it difficult. And I don't
tee what I can do to mitka it clear."
'Suppca you pop it," whispered the
blutbiug damsel.
A Dutchman a few days ago, pick?d
up a hound volume of documents, on the
back of which was stamped, 'Tub. Docs.*
'Tevful,' laid he, 4vat kiud of pooka vill
deybrint mm ? As I lif, here iah voo
on pup toy*."
'I hate doctor's bill," as the man said
when he caught tbe family physician
kissing his wife.
A sina't youag c'erk, hearing it stated
that "man is merely a machine," said?
4 Then I auppose a lawyer may be said to
be a suing machine."
44I'll let you off easy this this time,"
as the horse s-sid when he capsized hie
rider into a mud puddle.
C mimend a fool for hie wit, a knave
for his honesty, or a coward for his brare?
rv, and he will receive you iuto hie bo?
eom.
TU le*a you like another, the leaa you
ought to ewe about him.
W? find aelf-made men very often, but
elf unmade on*a a great deal ofiener.
If merchants or other butincM men *tx?
pen to proaper they must keep their
name before the people. Ad*erli?iog ie
the sure road to aucceaa.
The art of book-keeping is taught ia
one abort and eaay leaton?don't lend
lb era.