Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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Developing Milking Strain. Experiments in developing a milkr lng strain of short horn cattle have been begun by the dairy division of the United States Department of Agriculture in co-operation with the Minnesota Ecperiment Station and with nine Minnesota breeders, the lat ter having agreed to allow their herds to be used and to manage them ac cording to the instructions of the de . partaient.-Epitomist. Care of Horses. The hide and flesh of a young horse are more tender than those of an old work horse. If the shoulders of the young horse are allowed to become sore during the first season's work it is likely that, they will be sore or ten der all the rest of the animal's life. If the young horse passes through the first season without injury the shoul ders become toughened, and with good.treatment are likely never to be come sore.-Epitomist. About Bnttcr-Making. 'A lady who seems to know a good deal about practical dairy matters contributes the following items to the Farm Journal: Sprinkle the salt in tho butter and j let it stand one-half hour and then work. You will find all the salt dissolved and the butter will be moist and have plenty of grain. Many people work butter too much. It should be pressed together. Never use a rubbing motion. If-worked as scon as salten the but- j ter will be dry, as,all the water willi be worked out. will consequently | weigh less and the flavor will not bc so fine. If butter ii to be used at once one washing is s.if?cieni; i" Ii is to be kept a long tlae wasiv two or three j limes. Never churn until the last nddsd ! cream has been mixo.l twenty-four j hours in winier. Churn in a room as near sixty de-, grecs as possible. Never ia a very j hot or a very coM room. Never fill the churn mere than half fal!. Never attempt to chura without hising a th'irmoxcler. Soils Arc Improving. DC"-1--v.T.rld.^:. ac ils are i-vi: it" Milt reav ture Just <-Pi> ors out. -, ;? RtUf years ^-^ crops is increasing, particularly ' in j . the older State?, where the soil has I been worked the longest. There has been, he states, an increase of two j bushels in the average yield of wheat i per acre in the last forty.years, al-! though thc yield of corn has decreased one-half a bushel. "The scils cf New England have materially increased in yields of corn and wheat during forty years," says thc, professor, "but, what ?s more startling, they are producing consid erably heavier yields than the soils of the Mississippi River States." I He adds that an examinr.iicn of the i records shows that the leading Euro pean nations are not cniy producing greater, crops now than at an earlier j period, buL the crops are larger than . those produced by the comparatively ' new soils of the United States. I Crap? Fed Dee?. Professor Humford in referring to his six months' observations while in ! Argentina, South America, says that j very fine herd3 ot cattle are produced I in Argentina without a mouthful of I grain. These cattle are fed simply 'grass and alfalfa and were never in a stable. He saw breeding cattle in ' extra fine flesh on alfalfa pasture. I Grass fed mutton has gone from Argentina to London market too fat j to sell. On one ranch of 100,000 acres there are 18,600 cattle, 10,000 ? sheep and 2000 horses-all market fat without a pound of grain. Most i of the cattle country is flat and level I and the climate is ideai for growing, I as blizzards and sevcie weather are unknown. Argentina is a real competitor* of the United States and has during the past three years-shipped considerable more beef to Great Britain than has our own country. The beef can be delivered in London from Argentina as cheaply as it can from Chicago. Our beef growers have not awak ened to the dangerous competition of . the South American country, but the . facts i.re indisputable. Our great ranges have practically disappeared and new methods of beef raising are coming into practice. But still bet ter methods must be adopted, else it will be impossible for our farmers to raise cattle profitably on our high priced lands in competition with our southern competitors. Heavier Farm Horse. We are more than ever convinced that many farm horses are entirely too light for the work required of them. On nearly every farm we sse horses of different sizes, and while all may be good for certain uses, fer heavy work and much of the work on a farm properly tilled, ia heavy, the stronger hoi ses not only do the work easier than the others, but they do it more effectively. For instance, sup pose a farmer wants to use his spring tooth harrow. When horses are strong enough to do this work prop erly the teeth can be put down much deeper, and consequently they do tho work just that much more effectively. Xha Mani? in true .with nuerence ty, using a disk. Of course, there ma.? be some instances where light horsei will have the advantage, as, for in stance, when drawing a harrow, or weeder. But the number of instances when the lig%t horses of the farm will do work as well as heavy horses are comparatively few. Very much will depend upon the kind of land and upon the nature of the farming that is being carried on, but on nearly all kinds o? soils good strong horse:, will be found preferable to those of light weights; On clay farms it fc> simply indispensable to keep horses ab!.e to do work that calls for much strength to do it properly. This ques tion is sufficiently important to en gage the attention of those who ap parently have not thought of it, or having thought of it have not been duly influenced by its great impor* tance.-Weekly Witness. Hog Feeding Test. One of the State experiment sta tions has made a careful test in feed ing hogs certain fcods, and gives the results in the following summary: 1. That it. required eighteen per cent, more barley by weight than corn to produce the same gain in feeding pigs when both grains were fed in thc proportion of four parts of grain to one of shorts by weight. 2. That it is profitable to feed bar ley to hogs if pork is selling at an average price. 3. That the carcasses of the pigs fed barley and shorts showed a great er distribution of lean and firmer flesh than the carcasses of pigs fed corn and shorts. 4. That pgis fed on corn and shorts wilJ dress a higher per cent, than pigs fed on barbey and shorts. C<. '"hai cross bree1 Yorkshirc Uerkch.'~?s made more grain than the other cross breds or pure breds used in this trial. Anoiher test at feeding other foods is given as follows: 1. We can conclude from the re sults of this trial that ground reject ; cd wheat is capable of producing good j gains when fed to swine in connection j with shorts. 2. In comparison with corn it re I quires S.9 per cent, more rejected wheat than corn to produce the same gains. ?,. The quality of pork produced is even better than that produced by [ DRstm v.. . Federal law regulating the manufac ture and sale of adulterated butter have been calling on H. E. Barnard, State food and drug commissioner, in considerable numbers recently for in formation as to how to avoid trouble at the hands of the Federal inspect ors. The answer invariably is, "Make good butter." Under the Federal law any butter which contains sixteen per cent, or more of water is adulterated butter. A license tax of $600 is required for its manufacture; license for dealing in tho material at wholesale costs $480, while a retailer's license costs $4S, In addition a tas: of ten cents a pound is imposed on all such adulter ated butter manufactured. .'It is easy foi the farmer and the small butter maker to make butter which will ;tand the Government test," said Mr. Barnard. "Tht, chief point is to remove all th? buttermilk contained in the butter when the churning is complete. This can be done by washing the product repeat edly through clear, cool or cold water until no traces of the buttermilk re main. Then the butter should be worked, either by p. machine worker or by the old fashioned paddle such as our grandmothers used lo use. By washing and working any batch of butter which a faVmer's wife may make may be made as solid and firm as creamery butter, and will easily meet all the requirements of the Fed eral food law. "Many farmers' wiver. whe have prided themselves foi years on mak ing good butter really make only a fair grade of axle grease. Their but ter contains so much water that it would not pass Federal inspection, and under strict interpretation of the law, the maker would be subject to fine if an attempt were made to sell lt as pure butter. Much of the butter that comes from the farms to the In dianapolis and other markets is washed through perhaps only one wate., molded into patties and rushed to market. "Under the most favorable condi tions it will not remain sweet more than a few days, because of the but termilk it contains. This butter com mands o^ly a comparatively low price, whereas its value can be greatly en hanced if properly treated. At thc same time the danger of the maker's being called to account by the Fed eral inspectors will be removed. "Moreover, many farmers' wives makes the mistake of churning their cream before it is 'ripe' enough. The cream should be permitted to stand until fully ripened before the butter making process is staffed."-Indian apolis News. Good Sflieme. Tall Office Boy-"What's the old man giving you his good cigars to smoke for? Does he want you to cut out cigarettes?" Short Office Boy-"Naw! His wife is coming down to make a touch be fore she goes shopping, and lie wanta her to think bo is outr*-Boston post COCK>C<XXXXXXXXX>OOOOOOOOgO I JCXXXXXXX5OCOOC0 c CORNSTALK FIBRE. When the green stalks are givei to hogs care should be used to pre vent cattle from having access to tin woody fibre which the swine will leav? after chewing the stalks. Pigs relisl the stalk for thc sweetness in it, bu; leave enough saccharine matter it the fibre to make it attractive to cat tie, especially the younger stock This fibre is indigestible, and tht cattle, if allowed to pick it up, will frequently eat a sufficient quantit.3 to cause impaction and harmful il not fatal results. It is not safe tc let cattle into yards where swine arc given green cornstalks.-Swino il America. CHEAP WATERING VESSEL. The cheapest and most satisfactory watering vessel I have been able tc find, writes Mrs. J. C. Deaton, is as follows: For a pen of a dozen fowls, take a half gallon bucket or coffee can; make hole with nail one inch from top and invert this, filled with water, in an earthenware dish saucers for one gallon flower pots are good for this. This fountain supplies the wat."i in the dish just as needed. It should be placed ou a box or frame ten inches high, or in back part of pen to keep the litter out of it. Always empty water vessels at night and keep them scuded once a week. WEAN THE PIGS. It is not a good piar to take all the pigs from the sow unless one or two cf them can be turned with her some hour's after, to draw the milk she will have at that time, and again, say af ter a lapse of twenty-four hours. The preferred way is to leave two of the smallest with her for several da;.s, and after that leave only one for two or three days, by which time the flow of milk will have been so gradually dim'uished that no injury will result to the sow by keeping them entirely away from h?r. This extra supply of milk helps also to push the smaller pigs along in growth and put then more nearly on an equality in size with their thriftier.mates.-From Co burn's "Swine in America." THE SILO AND ALFALFA. Professor W. J. Fraser, of the Illi nois Agricultural College, in referring lo silage and alfalfa as great helps for the dairy farmer sr.ys: The summer silo gives the best and mose economical protection of all against drouth. One of the very greatest crops for the dairyman, and one which is now being successfully grown on thou sands of farms in Illinois, is alfalfa. i^iri>rv dairyman should have a patch ever date the pasture n..... it is difficult to have a constant sup ply of other soiling crops in the right stage of maturity at and during the uncertain time of the drouth. Never, under any conditions, allow the cows to go hungry and suffer loss of milk during the summer drouth, which for several reasons is the most trying season for the dairy herd. HOG FEEDING TEST. One ot the State experiment sta tions has made a careful test in feed ing hogs certain foods, and gives the results in the following summary: 1. That it required eighteen per cent, more barley by weight than corn to produce tho same gain in feeding pigs when both grains were fed in the proportion of four parts of grain to one of shorts by weight. 2. That it is profitable to feed barley to hogs if pork is selling at an average price. 3. That the carcasses ci' the pigs fed barley and shorts showed a great er distribution of lean and firmer flesh than the carcasses of pigs fed corn and shorts. 4. That pigs fed on corn and shorts will dress a higher per cent, than pigs fed on barley and shorts. 5. That cross-bred Yorkshire Berkshires made more gain than the other cross-breds or pure-breds, used in this trial. Another test at feeding other foods is given as follows: 1. We can conclude from the re sults of this trial that ground rejected wheat is capable of producing good gains when fed to swine in connection with shorts. 2. In comparison with corn it re quires S.9 per cent, more rejected wheat than corn to produce the same gains. 3. The quality of pork produced is even better than that produced by corn. 4. If pork is selling for a reason able price, a fairly good price may bc expected from feeding the rejected wheat to swine.-Weekly Witness. Keflections of a Bachelor. The way to learn to hate a man Is for him to succeed where you fail. We fix our eye so intently on our little virtues that we can't see our big faults. A woman would rather have you make love to her and not meau it than mean it and not do it. Where a farmer has a grand lime is being able to put all the blame for his mistakes on the weather. All women's feet would be very tiny if they were up around their knees, where nobody could possibly see them.-New York Press. Horrible Example. Mrs. Harriman now is said to be the richest widow in the world. If Hetty Green had saved her money in stead of blowing it recklessly for ?1S flats and thirty-nine-cent hats she might have been able to make a showing ip that line,-Chicago Nc/ws, FOR PREVENTING BLIGHT. To prevent the loss of muskmelon and cucumber crops by blight spray the vines frequently with Bordeaux mixture, to be had at any drug store. The young growth should be kept covered with the mixture until it is well up.-Indianapolis News. PLOW DEEPLY. Plow deeply in the fall and apply a liberal dressing of well rotted manure on the garden plat. Then plow and thoroughly pulverize the soil early in the spring, remembering that "ground well prepared is half cultivated." Buy seed from a re'liable seedsman and the possibility of disappointment in results will be remote. - Farmers* Home Journal. CORNES CANADENSIS. The dogwoods are, with but one exception^fcrees and tall shrubs, and this exc?pmfiTis a lew growing and extremely pretty plant every hardy plantsman admires. The Canadians call it bunch berry, and it has two distinct values in the garden, one as a spring flojvering plant, another as a berried plantain autumn. In early spring one gets a good display of ex quisitely formed white flowers that are modeled on the line of anemone, and they are borne on prostrate woody stems a few inches. In au tumn the leaves color a good yellow, and the berries a good red, and there is more beauty in its autumn garb than one considers possible in so low ly a plant. It wants using to good advantage, however, and one must group it in some quantity-forming a "torrent" in the cooler positions of the garden. In such form it is ad< mirable.-Indianapolis News. RASPBERRY ANTHRACXOSE. What is the trouble with my rasp berry vines? The leaves die and drop off as though they had been cut. Last year the vines did not die until berries were half grown; then they commenced to turn yellow at or near the end of the canes. Only tho pre ceding year's growth is affected each year. Is there a remedy for this pest? If so, what is it?-0. R. B. Answer-It was impossible to de termine from the small twig you sent what the trouble is with your rasp berry canes, but anthracnose is most likely the disease that affects them, Cut off the diseased limbs and burn them, and spray with Bordeaux mix ture early_n?xL.srjring. This disease Georgia and Connects uw, _ Rural New Yorker when to pick peaches for distant shipping. He says: "Neither by size nor feeling can you tell anything about it, but just lift up the^branches and look at the under or shady side of the peach. In white-fleshed sorts like the Car man and Belle of Georgia when tho shady side nearest to the stem end begins to take on a whitish or cream color in place of the green color, then the 'critter' is ready, and you can pull it; you want to got them good and solid and firm, rh the yellow varieties, the green hue will begin to turn to a lemon-yellow, and it is ready'to be picked. Above all things, do not have anybody feeling your fruit; that will mak9 a brown or bruised spot a little later on. Use your eyes when taking them from the trees, and after they get in the baskets you are all right. Be sure they are not soft enough for good eat ing when they come off the trees, 07 you will be up against a loss." LAYING OUT THE LILAC. One of the first shrubs to blossom in the spring will bs the lilac, which is deservedly among the most popular of plants. It may well be called a "queen of shrubs," and is a favorite because of its remarkable hardihood, the showy clusters of its abundant and fragrant blossoms and Us pa tience under cultural abuse. The common lilac (syringla vul garis) is the most common in the gardens,' and from lt have sprung a large number of showy forms which are grown in parks by more expert gardeners. While the lilac grows in almost any soil, to obtain the best re sults it should be planted in rich, well drained soil, somewhat heavy with a little clay in it if possible. The Amoor lilac is one of the moro shov/y varieties which should have more general favor. It is a tall, slen der shrubs, ten to twelve feet in height, which unfo'ds its leaves very early in the spring and produces large clusters of yellowish white flowers very early in June. It retains its deep green foliage well through the season. The Fersian lilac is the lowest growing variety, which is weil known in this country. It grows from four to seven feet in height, and has very slender branches, which form r. grace ful outline. The flowers are pale pur ple, and there is also a white flower? lng form.-Washington Star. To His Wife. Perhaps the wife whose remains lie beneath the following epitaph would be pleased at the sentiment, could she read it once; could she read it twice, Bhe would probably look for th? broomstick-and her husband: "Thou haat Rone before me To thy last, lonj; sleep; Teal's cannot restore thee Therefore T weep. P.y her husband." -LippincoUV, Special Training For Highway En gineers. The demand for practical business sense in both the system of supervis ion and the work of construction of road building grows apace. From the New Orleans Item, of re cent date, is this excerpt: "So long as we continue to dissipate our money and time on roads and levees and similar public works, through many channels, and thus divide the re sponsibility for lt, and encourage its dispersion into utterly unfit and in competent hands on a vicious scheme of political preference, we shall mere ly continue to pour ont our money, like water into the great river, through so many pipes." And from the Portland, Ore., Ore gonian, thia paragraph is ts.ken, Il lustrating a similar demand for re form In the road building system of that State: "The principal element In a good road is brains. Sir Joshua Reynolds used them to mix his paint with. The lack of them is the chief fault in our highvays. Consider tho myriads of idiots who have been tink ering at American roads for OOO years and then wonder, if you can, that the work has been foolish and the money wasted." Why is it thai the idea that any one who coull lift one end of a dump board could build a road came to be so generally accepted in the past, any more than that r?nyone who could throw a .plank across a stream could build a bridge, or that anyone who could carry a hod could build a house, is difficult to conceive. It is an idea that has cost the people of this coun try an immense amount of money. Road building is a branch of en gineering as much'as land surveying or railroad construction, or bridge building, or mining, or any nf the oth er specialties of the profession. It requires training and field experience in the engineer and an organization with a responsible head and efficient subordinates for the department work. How little the necessity for special education for road work is under stood even at the present is illustra ted in the recent remark of an engi neer, who has slood for yea-s i:i the front rank of highway bui'.dfrs, to th? effect that ene of his most trying experiences has been to secure field assistants who could, comprehend a cross section, lt is believed that this is a condition co nmon in all the States where improved roads are be ing constructed on an ettendal scale. It is not just, however, to class all these men as "idio'.s," for they are intelligent enough Li other direc tions; they have nader taken work for v,nvR not freen trained and . As the demano xor ingn vi o, j ti i. pi ncers increases the same question of fitness wiil intrude itself that is being agitated in other branches cf the pro fession-that cf eliminating tho quacks through a system cf State li censes. As doctors and lawyers are required by statute to satisfy tho State of their fitness to practice, it is being demanded that civil engineers be similarly required to attain a more uniform standard of efficiency than is Indicated by a mere degree from some of the technical schools. This eligibility test should be extended to highway engineers, Road building 13 public work-? there is Int one employer In the busi ness. A man in seeking a position In this line l|aa no choice, except as to locality, as to whether he will work for this man or that and no oppor tunity to change from one business concern to another, such as prevails hi other occupations. The people have a monoply of thc highway im provement business. To Induce, therefore, intelligent and efficient men to enter this service it is essential not only to make the pay liberal but to offer a reasonable guarantee that the position shall be permanent. Tho best talent cannot be secured for road engineering : J longvas a man Is likely to lose his position as the result ot the next ?lection,-Good Ror:ds Mag? azine. Blaine's Old Mansion. Washington Is wondering whether the Westinghouse mansion at Dupont circle will next winter be thrown open and so dispense again it3 lavish hos pitality. It is a substantiol looking brick house, and ia the days when it was built for Mr. Blaine it was re garded as one of the palaces of the city and pictures of it were used against Blaine in his canvass for the Presidency, and thc question was asked where did he get the where withal to build it. He actually had to establish his residence elsewhere. The Westinghouse family finally came Into possession of it and was lavish with social functions, but .Mrs. West inghouse has lately been fender of London and Parisian residence, and, further, tho Westinghouse residence has been quite outclassed by houses or rather palaces erected since. Young Westinghouse ha:; lately married an English girl and it is hoped that he will establish a winter residence in this city, or at least that Mrs. Westinghouse will care to live once more in America now that her son will establish himself in an Amer ican home.-Boston Advertiser. Within two years from the great earthquake which undid San Fran cisco, that heroic city has put $100, 000,OOO into building operations, of which, according to trustworthy state ment, all bul ?4.000.000 came from local sources? CHILD BOTANISTS. No fewer than 109 different spec! mens of wild flowers were shown by a Walberton (England) child at the lo ;al flower show. Another child had 107 kinds.-Philadelphia Record. MOTHER TO A CHICKEN. One day last summer my mother md I went for a drive in the country, and on our way home (which was at dusk) we found a small chicken in the middle of the road. As there were lio farmhouses in sight, we decided io take it home, and after tea I se cured a small grocery box from our man and lined lt with hay, and into? this I put the chicken, which was ?bout two weeks old. The next morn ing, much to my surprise, I found the ?hickcn had crept into another box, where a cat and her kittens were, and seemed to have found both a home and a mother there. The chick I sn stayed there under the cat's pro tection until she became so large 'we were compelled to take her from her foster mother. The hen ls laying nearly every day now.-E. M. Taylor, In the New York Tribune. NICK. I am going to tell you about my I cat Nick. He is all black, with the (exception of one little white spot on his neck. There are a number of trees near our house and consequently many sparrows. Last Saturday while moth er and I were on the veranda Nick came up the steps and began to rub against me. I took no notice of him until mother exclaimed: "Why, Nick has a bird in his mouth!" I took the bird away and whipped him severely. I The bird was stiil living, so mother I wrapped him up nice and warm. He was a little bird, so I think probably he was learning to fly when Nick caught him. In the afternoon the bird was hop ping around as lively as ever. After he had eaten some bread and milk I began to think he had been more j frightened than hurt. That night my { brother mace Dick (for that was w-hat. I had named him) a bed in a basket. He hopped in and nestled down. The next morning, when I went to see how my little bird was, I found him dead. I think probably he had been hurt more seriously than I thought.-Janet N. Murray, in the New York Tribune. GOING BERRYING. The pleasure of huckleberrying is due to the season, the late summer time. The poignant joys of early spring are passed, and the exuberance of early summer, while the keen stimulus of ' early fall has not yet come. Things are at poise. The hay ing is over, the meadows, shorn of their rich grass, lie tawny-green un - - *-V.?.T. while the" sun has stu, nu cn? of summer. Choose a day that has clouds in it, too, for you will f^el their movement even when j-ou do not look up. Then take your pail and set out. Do not be in a hurry, and do not promise to be back at any definite time. And, finally, either go alone or with just the right com panion, I do not know any circum stances wherein the choice of a com panion needs moro care than In berry ing. It may make or mar the whole adventure.-Atlantic, Ti HAT DOGS KNOW, Dogs have tho brains, but whether they give proof of lt depends entirely upon our treatment of them. We had a collie given to us when a puppy that learned to do many things; one was to go up stairs every afternoon and bring down a shawl that waa done up in a strap and laid on a cer tain chair. When he grew to a big dog our lawn was too small for him to get the necessary exercise, so we ga\*fe him back to his former cwr.er. After being away for three months, he was brought back to see us. I j felt curious to know whether he j would remember some of the things j that had been taught him, and con j eluded to test him with the shawl, I had it placed in the same chair and room where he had been in fie habit of getting lt. After he had been in the house a fer/ minutes I said, "Rob in, you go up stairs and get my shawl." He looked at me, but did move. Then I repeated what I had said. He darted off up stairs and came running down with it in his mouth and handed it to me. We all felt like applauding him. Another proof that animals think was given by a little skye terrier who did everything but talk. There was a fence around the lawn and he was I never allowed to go out alone, but in 1 the spring when the ground was soft he would dig a hole under the fence and go on a little outing. One day he was discovered digging. I knocked ? on the window and saidt "No, Tat- j ters." He looked up at me, then de-I liberately went around back of the j house and began to make another hole. In front of his home was an j open field and across that was a house where this same little dog had a fancy for calling, and where he knew we objected to his going. He was scolded for disobeying, and final ly given a gentle chastisement. We flattered ourselves he was conquered at last, but his fertile brain was equal to the occasion. Missing him one day, we saw him going up the street. Then he went around the block till he got to the house, where he stayed for half an hour, then came hack home the same way, instead of taking a short cut across the field as he had been In the habit of doing, and whore he knew we would be sure to s^a bim.-H. V., in Our Dumb Animals. ?POLOGIES TO PURPLE COW. Although it's bound lo raise our ire Each time we hear or see one, There's this about the poor umpire: We'd rather see than be one. -Boston Herald, LITERAL. Dentist-"When did your teeth be gin troubling you?" Patient-"When I was cutting; them."-Boston Transcript. HE'S NOT TALL. "You're going to marry the baron? Why, he's up to his ears In debt." "That doesn't matter. He's not very tall."-Meggendorfer Blaetter. DOUBTLESS. Mother (to son, a student)-"My! Emil, how fat you have grown!" Student-"Yes, and it has cost me many sleepless nights, too." - File? gende Blaetter. CLIMBING BIRD. Herr Schulzer-"I am trying to make your parrot talk, but he won't." Newly Knighted Parvenu-"Ah, ho won't talk to ordinary people now." -Meggendorfer Blaetter. DOES THIS REFER TO-? "I hear that De Millyuns is looking for a divorce from his wife." "Indeed. On what grounds?" "On the grounds of economy, I fancy."-Boston Transcript. HARDLY COMPLIMENTARY'.' Griggs-"Hickson wants to borrow some money of me. Do you know anything about, him?" Briggs-"I know him as well as I do you. I wouldn't let him have a cent." BANG WENT TUPPENCE. ? Frugal North Briton (in his first experience of a taxi)-"Here, mon, stop! I hae a weak heart. I canna stand that hang't wee machine o' yours markin' up thae tuppences."-.* Punch. FIERY PARTICULARS. "Here, this writer in describing tho fire says the flames ran along at a rapid pace. I wonder what sort of a path they ran on?" "Must have been a cinder path."--? Baltimore American. PAINLESS. "Do you think that man is suffer ing from 'exaggerated ego?' " "A man never suffers from exag gerated ego," answered the emineK o Ton ?st. "He always appears to en ."-Washington Star. TRYING TO PLACE HIM. o what scaool does that novelist lg?" ; don't know. But from the re cable theories he presents I should i that he Is a Chicago college ?ssor."-Washington Star. ACCEPTED ON ITS MERITS. "My money is as good as any body's," said the aggressive citizen. "Yes," answered Miss Cayenne, "fortunately for our commercial sys tem, a dollar is not judged by the company it keeps." - Washington Star. . RUDE INSINUATION: Miss Young-"Next week I cele brate my twenty-fourth birthday." Miss Jubious-"That's singular/So do I." Miss Young-"But I celebrate mino for the first time."-Bostou Trans* crlpt, BEATEN TO A FRAZZLE. "I don't notice so many references to the Man In the Iron Mask as I used to." "No; those automobile goggles have made him seem quite a common place personage." - Boston Trans? cript. HOT FOOT. "Just saw Deadbeat hurrying for the train." "Off to escape thc summer heat, eh?" "More likely to escape the man who supplied his winter heat."-3os? ton Trauscript, LAPSUS LINGUAE. Curate-"Well, Mrs. Jones, are you coming to the temperance meeting in the Pari6h Hall this evening?" Mrs. Jones (suffering from obesi ty)-"I'm afraid not, sir. I 'as to do exercises every night to keep down my obscenity!"-London Opinion. PRESENCE OF MIND. "Well, sir," said the aviator, "we had reached the height of a thousand feet when our motor broke-" "Good heavens!" cried an excited listener. "Down, down we rushed at tre mendous speed. It seemed as if noth ing could save us from destruction, nothing. Suddenly I had an inspira tion. Reaching aloft, I grasped the skyline and hung on for dear life. A cheer broke from the crowd below. We were saved."-Boston Transcript She Never Let Go. It was a wizened little man who appeared before the judge and charged his wife with .cruel and abusive treatment. His ?stter half was a big, square-jawed ,woman with a determined eye. "In the first place, where did you meet this woman who, according to your story, has treated you so dread fully?" asked .the judge. "Well," replied the little man, mak ing a brave attempt to glare defiantly at his wife, "I never did meet her. She just kind of overtook me."-* New York Jo '.raak --~~