Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

You Need a Tonic ii you feel languid and depressed di the time. The best thing to help nature build up the system is BE.BJAYNE'S TONIC VERMIFUGE ' This great tonic ia not a false stim ulant as many of; thc so-called "spring tonics." It is a natural strength giver. For ail run-down conditions cf the health it is an invaluable rem edy; imparts new life and vigor and builds up the entire system. " Sold b'j All Leading Druggists ir two size bullies, 50c end 35c Restore:-: Cray Hair to Wa tur: ? Color; REMOVES DANDRUFF AMD 3CUIIF Invigorates ami prevents th? h?ir from tailing ol?. For Solo bj OrUKSIStS, or Sont DIroc : tty XAfiTHINE CO., Richmond, Virginia j - "-"rx 31 ft Bottle; Sample Bottle 35c Send lor ClrcuU'j The ideal PALATAL ^.Cr?anV?T Cpthnrtio ir***-??***- Cantor Oil COILDKKM LtCXTHiflrOOH. K?llev>?Flatui-.:r, Corne* Gi liane, Aide Mention. 23C. DKDQGlaT-.. ??i?s? aviating fellows had belier take swimming lessons. Don't done yourself foi- ofsxy rHtle pain It only hn';ts year sft?T?arV Such pain COIPCS usually froui kimi ii^flasirnitioni A little rfebbina with Paui'Ins Vi*L:ard Oil ? Will Stop it imn?.i:-f.-l-_ I Southern railroads will get a share ot the chief executive's $25,000 ex pense account. For COLDS and ?RIP. Pick's ^APtmiM ls the best ivinrrlr nllt-vfti the achine and feverishness-cures Ui;-CVid and restores normal conditions. It's liquid-erl cots immediately, ldc, '?io. and lu-., aturuc stores. There arc pleasures in madness known only to madmen.-Dr. John son. DISCOURAGED WOMEN. A Word of Hope For Despairing Ones. Kidney trouble makes weak, weary, worn women. Backache, hip pains, dizziness, headaches, nervousness, languor, urinary troubles make wom .en suffer untold mis [ery. Ailing kidneys j are the cause. Cure ?them. Mrs. 53. G. Corbin, ,84 N. Depot St., Dalton.Ga., says: "My body was racked with kidney aches land pains, and some times my arms were numb. I was dull and miserable all the time and hoped for death to relieve me. Doan's Kidney Pills soon brought improve ment, and finally made me a well woman." Remember the name-Doan's. Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a bos. Fos ter-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y. Goat's Hom Kills Python. A goat caused the death of the royal rajah python which Gus Lan brigger was exhibiting at Logansport, Ind., last week. The python which is said to. have been more' than 100 years old, was twenty-seven feet long j and weighed 300 pounds. Thc snake, aroused from its dor mant state, showed signs of hunger. Pythons cat not hing but live animals, and although Hildebrandt, ofScer ol' the local humane society, had served notice on Lambrigger, ordering him tc kill all animals before giving them to the snake, a live goat was forced into the feeding pen. The huge python fastened its e.yes on the cowering animal, and soon had it "charmed." 'Then, before the spell was broken, the snake sprang forward and wrap ped its huge body about the terrified goat. . Bones were crushed like egg shells and life was squeezed from the ani mal almost in the twinkle of an eye. The snake then began to swallow the goat whole. One of billy's horns became im bedded in the python's throat and in the snake's effort to obtain -elief, the horn severed an artery. In its dying agonies, the python lasled and squinted about the tent. Cages were knocked down, monkeys were liberat ed, and one of the employes was struck and knocked fifteen feet. Poor maids have more lovers than husbands.-John Webster. Tia'j crisp, brown flak? Come to the breakfast table r the package-no bother; no d They have body too ; thes to give you a delicious substan away. "The Taste Ling SoSd by Wade by POSTUTI CE BATTLE CREI A Dead Shot on Rmg Worms. Wysacklngr, XL. 'j.j June 2, 1908. Mr. J. T. Shuptrine, 'Savannah, Gal . Derr Slr:-Enclosed you will find $1.00 for which please send 'ne at once Tet terlne. It ls a dead shov on ring worms. f mrs truly, W. S. Dudley. Totterlne cures "Eczen.a. Tetter, Ring TVorm, Ground Itch. Itching Piles. In fant's Sore Head, Pimples. Boils, Rough Scalv Patches on the Face, Cid Itch'ng Sores. Dandruff. Cankered Scalp. Ou li ions. Corns. Chilblains ard evt>-y form of Skin i/lsease. Tetterine 50c: Tetterine Soap 25c. Tour druggist, or by maii from the manufacturer, The Shuptrine Co., Savannah, Ga. Jack Binns, who has gained lasting fame for his D. C. 0. messages that brought re?ue to th? Florida is suing to stop moving cicturc concerns from bellttlinar his fame in cutting the presentation on tlie canvass. He asks $25.000 damage from the via graph company. F* r H KAJDAiB?a:-rilckx' I'A PU PINE "Whether from Colds. H.?at. Stomach or Nervous Troubles, Capudlim will relieve you. Ivs llcju1.'!-pleasant io uke-act? injinedi atWv. Try it. lue.. 25c sad 50c. &z (?rae stores._ The new York lawyer whose life was saved by a foivnti.i pen probably feels that the pen is also mightier than the bullet. So. 3-1- '09 I>r. Blg;or? Kncklo?>iury Cordial Will convince the most skeptical when it comos to ourlag Diarrhoea. Dysentery, Children Tdathlag.eto. 20o iud ?OJ per bottle A certain father who is fond of putting his boys through natural his tory examinations is often surprised by their mental agility! He recently asked tliem to tell him "what animal is satis'ic? with the ?east nourish ment.:? ''The rrcth." one o:: them shouted confidently. "It eats nothing but holes. ' '-Youth's Companion. Chronic dyspepsia result5 from neglecting slight attach? orm??ue.<ti?^.TakePairikiller 'Parry Davis') io:-cramps ann indigestion. Count Zeppelin does not seem to be allowing any grass to grow under his dirigible. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children teething, softens the gums, ..educes inflamma tion, allays pain, cures wind col ic, 25e. a bo ttl e. There are enough guards, police men, gendarmes? etc.. acompanving Tsar Nicholas to prevent his becom ing St. Nicholas. Bough on Rata, unbeatable exterminator. Rough on Hen Lice, Neut Powder, 25c, Roagh on Bedbugs, Powder or Liq'd, 25c. Rough on Fleas, Powder or Liquid, 25c. Rough on Roaches, Pow'd, 15c,Liq'd, 25c Rough on Moth and Ants, Powder, 25c. Rough on Skeeters, agreeable in use, 25c E. S. '-Veils, Chemic. Jersey City, N. J. Writ to Get Deg Out. Atlanta, Ga., Special.-Four law yers, a sheriff, five or six of his dep uties, a negro woman and a learned judge are tangled up in an argument over one yellow mongrel dog, for which a writ of hebeas corpus was sworn out here. . The dog, named Wilbur, is held as a witness in an asault case. The animal is believed to have been with William Webb, a negro, when he as saulted Mrs. Exa Brown, a young white woman. Webb narrowly es caped lynching. The victim identi fied the dog and the State ordered Wilbur locked up until the triai, when it will bc expected to identify Webb by running up to him in court. Grace Davis, a negress and a friend of Webb, owns the dog and ha" hired lawyers to get it out o? jail. The petition declares that "thc canine is of a tender a<;e, under six years, is uneducated and knows noth ing of the solemnity or nature of an oath, and therefore cculd not be a competent witness in any event. Fur ther, the said canine has been entitled to thrre square meals a day and the privilege of all canines at night of baying at the moon and hunting fresh eggs in the neighborhood." "The sheriff did not consider the writ a joke and became angry. The ordinary of the county has grantr-l the writ and will hear the case. Proverbs and Fhrases. Rage furnishes no weapon.' In prosperity no altl-.rs smoke. He that hath a trade hath an estate.-Franklin. A good man's pedigree is little hunted up.-Spanish. He who helps the wicked repents it before long.-Phaedrus. The internal condition of Spain has been such as to make Gip Castro feel quite at home. ight, and exactly right from [day. B Post Toasties are firm enough .tial mouthful before they melt ;ers." Grocers. !REAL CO., LIMITED, HK, MICHIGAN. THE WAIL OF THE SOCIALIST I (Fron-' Judge.) Whoso little ha by am I? Nobody seems to know. Tve coo>:-d And I've cried till I've t died, But il uoesn't r.ppcar to go, For there Isn't tiny muzzer, And there aren't any aunts, And I haven't oven a grandma to se ?. boy needs pants. I haven't any playthings, I haven't any folks; I can't quite frame a name I can cl I'm tis vague as a funny man's I own everything around me, And every one hero owns me, And lt's awfully kind of mixing, think you'll all agree. . Tm everybody's bruzzer, But nobody loves .lust mo. I can pout or can smile In my own < style, But who's there to watch and s< For -nurse ls a lot of women. That toss me to and fro. And there ain't any special cuddle t fellow scemn to know. ,v And If nny one wants to take n I don't think It could be wrong; I am lonely and sad, and I'm not bad. And I'd mightily like to belong. For the earth and all its riches Are aa nothing to the bliss Of a pair ol' arms around you, and ownest muzzcr's kiss. -Emma H. De Zouc Suburban Diplom??s' j By Elizabeth ?nscla Gould. Nobody could have looked at C i Toppan on the evening of his re j from a visit to lils nephew wit; 1 'mowing that he had enjoyed the v I "I've got a little something-to tell j about my new niece," he said to I ?.tain Saunders and Captain Bo when his wife had thoughtfully dep I ed to a neighbor's house, and left with his two friends. "Tell on," said the two capts promptly. "You let us light up, then you needn't lcok for anythin; the line of interruptions," added ( tain Bolles. "We'll nod if we see casion." "You know I've always had s< doubts what kind of a wife a fe like Henry, with his head way up the clouds, would pick him out," i ! Mr. Toppan, and the captains r ! dca. "Well, I guess Providence had a h in the choosing ol.' Emily," contin J the host. "She's as neat a little c: : as ever I set'eyes on, and she's ' a first-class head-piece, what's mi j They're living about ten miles j of the city, in a mighty pretty li ' suburb, and they've got the corner ? in a good neighborhood-nice hou on both .streets. j "I said to Henry, 'Doesn't it cost pretty steep?' For I knew his writ ? didn't bring him :in any great of I income yet, though he's coming ! And he said, 'It dem't cost what ye j think 'twould. In fact, this was ? considered a very desirable lot \ Ernily got to work on it.' I "Well, of course. I wanted to kn j the meaning of that. So he told ; Just what, happened. Seems they wa i ed to be about that far from to\ j and they met the agent for a1 lot: j new houses somewhere, and he ti .'em of this place. Said he and ] wife had lived there for a few moni and then moved in town, and 'twas pretty place. So they went right alo j out to sec it. The rent was rcasonah I so reasonable that Emily got kind I thoughtful. Henry was for taking ? as he always does good things, as if t j ravens had fetched it to him. B j Emily's built different "She looked the agent right in t eye, and she said, "What's the o j about it?' And he saw 'twasn't a: ' use to make up any pretty stories j beat round the bush, so he told t truth. i " 'You sec that big house dov i there?' he said. 'Well, that man pa; j rent for three of these houses, h own and two married sons' and 1 keeps hens.' "Henry said Emily began te smi ! and nod. " 'And every afternoon when they': let out they make right for this corm lot,' says the agent 'J don't kno what 'tis attracts 'em so, whether it I the slope, or the grass is groener, < what, but here's where they land, ar scratch and dig till they're calli home for supper. And he says he ca not help it-small fowl have got I have their liberty. And my wi; likes a flower garden and smoot grass.' " 'I see,' Emily said, when he sto] ped. 'So do I lilce a garden, and shall have a pretty one here.' And thi very day Henry .signed a five year lease, with a couple of portable hei houses thrown In. "'Going to keep kens?' the ager asked her, when she bartered for th hen houses, and Emily smiled an said, 'For a while, maybe.' "Henry was kind cf uneasy till sh explained her plan.s to him, for he's n farmer, nor he never tock to hem But he saw the light after she'd talke j to him a while. They did their wor and moving mornings till the day the moved in-that was their first after i noon. Emily took a rest after dinnei ? and when she got up and looked out oi the lawn, there 3ure enough, was i whole posse o' hens and seme chick ! cns! Henry set their portable hen houses up that night, and next morn lng a farmer brought them some hen: and put 'em in the houses, likewisi chickens. . Henry superintended thc job. Emily never went near 'em no: asked a question. "That afternoon Henry let out thei live stock while Emily was taking hei rest. Then he sat doun and wrote foi an hour or so In a complete little plac: they call his 'study,' at the back o the house. When Emily waked up slit went in there and rumpled up hit hair and told him he'd written long enough, and to lay off and take a snooze before tea-time, same, as wa.* their usual arrangement. "I'll call the hens and feed 'em, and get 'em under cover,' says Emily, "lhat'll be my part of the work.' "Well. Henry said he stretched ou' on the lounge she has all fixed up cozy for him, and fell ol? into a doze. When ho waked up 'twas most dark, and he lay there listening to voices, Emily's and a mon's. Emily's was cool and pleasant, but tie raan'9 bad a prettsr mad sound. "I should like to know what yo?'Y? done with my. hens!' he was saying, " 'Yours hens!' Emily repeats aftei him', in a real surprised tone. 'Why, where were they?' " 'Well-'hem'-says the man, 'they -why, i suppose they were on your lawn.' ?. " 'Oh, says Emily, 'how unfortunate! You see, we've just moved, and our hens only came this morning. I have not even asked by husband how many he bought. I've been so busy getting settled, you know. He let them out while I was taking my nap, and now he's getting a little rest, after his writing. I told him I'd call the hens in, feed them, and get them un der cover every afternoon. I had some meal for them, and they came running to me just as fast. And you think your hens were all here, too? Now we'll taite my little electric lantern and go right out to the henhouses, anil you've only to pick yours out and take them right away. Of course I would not keep them. I don't know much about hens, but they will follow you, won't you? Won'tx they know your voice?' "Henry said he held his breath ex pecting maybe tho man would say something that would oblige him to get right up off'n the lounge and go in and deal with him; but instead of that,, he said the man bust right out Into a roar. " 'See here' he said, 'you've got the best of me, and I'll wager you know it, whether you know much about hens or not You keep 'em overnight and let 'em out j tomorrow at the usual time, and I'll see that they're sorted out by my man and taken home, and kept home. .I'll have a little place made back of the house, where they'll get room enough. And any eggs you get from their visit,' says he 'you're welcome to. And look here, when you get settled I'll have my folks call on you' he said. 'And now I'll bid yen good night.' " 'Good night!' says Emily, sweet as ever. 'We'd love to have them come. And, O Mr. Brown, when it's later in the season, 1 hope you'll accept a couple of broilers for this trouble I've put you to. I think perhaps we shan't keep hens so very long.' "'I knew that before you told me,' says the man. And Henry said that as he passed by the side window on his way home the window was open, and Henry could hear him chuckling good an' hearty." . SYNTAX CHINA. Its Interesting History-Extravagant Prices For lt. In almost every collection of "Old Blue" you will find at least one ex ample of Syntax china, perhaps the most famous of ail the different series made by Clews. The history of the pictures on this china is amusing, for the text was written around the pic tures. Thomas Rowlandson, a caricatur ist, says the Circle magazine, made a series of pictures representing an eld erly clergyman and schoolmaster oc cupying his holidays in search of what he called "the picturesque." A printer, R. Ackerman, saw the pic tures and 1 called on a man named William Comb to make the verses. This he did, and the pictures and verses made such a success when they came out, about 1815, that many editions of the first book, called "Dr. Syntax in 9earch of the picturesque," were pub lished. This William Comb who wrote the verses was for forty-three years con fined to the King's bench debtors' pris on and it seems a strange place in which to evolve comical ideas. He was 80 years old when he wrote the "Sec ond Tour" in 1820. He not only wrote the verses for thia first book but for a second volume called "Second Tour of Dr. Syntax in Search of Consolation." This was brought out in 1820, and in 1821 the third volume was published and named "Third Tour of Dr. Syntax in Search of a Wife." Thirty-odd designs from the books were used by Clews on sets of china. Although the work of this series of pictures is good, Clews having the printing well done and clear, the val ues which are placed on the different pieces are all out of proportion to their merit. Some of the platters bring three or four hundred dollars and the plates as high as thirty or forty. Indeed, so much in demand are these pictures on china that forgers have gotten in their work and "Dr.. Syntax Painting a Portrait," "Dr. Syntax asd the Bees" and "Dr. Syntax Mistakes a Gentleman's House for an Inn" have all been produced, but the fraud la easily detected by the heaviness of the ware, poor printing and clumsy repro duction of the Clews mark on the back, An Ail-Potato Feast. One of the most remarkable menus ever drawn up must have been that of thc feast in Paris to which Benja min Franklin, Lavoisier (the found er of modern chemistry), aud other distinguished men sat down as guests of Parmenticr. Every dish at this banquet was made of potatoes, even the brandy and liquers were the prod uct of the same vegetable. This waa Parmentier's final proof to his skep tical fellow-countrymen that pota toes were not poison, as they persist ed in believing. Louis XVI hlmselJ was one of Farmen tier's earliest con verts, granted him land on which tc grow his plants, and did not disdain to wear the potato flower in his but tonholt;. Then Pannentier cleverlj posted guards around his p?tate fields; by day and withdrew them bj night, so that people were tempted to come then, steal, eat, and be con vinced. The all-potato banquet was thc climax of the great campaign. Kansas City Star.' His Father's Occupation. Teacher-Yvhat is your father's oe cupation Little Boy-I can't tell you. Teacher-But you must. Little Boy-My father doesn't wanl me to tell. Teacher-I insist on your tellinj me. I have to know. Little Boy (tearfully)-He's-he's the fat lady at the dime museum. Youth's Companion. }00000C<X>00CK500000000000 ousehold g o o i? a ???? Matters 8 C<XX)?0O0OOOC<X>OO0O0OOOOO0 To Remove Dirt. To remove dirt from brown boots Jissolve a little saddle soap In warm, 50ft water. Put the boots in this and with a piece of sponge wash the boots thoroughly without making the leath er very wet. Wash off the soapy wat er and dry in the air. Then polish the boots in the usual way.-Detroit News-Tribune. Quaint Little Clock. 'An odd little clock is in the form of a crystal ball suspended by a leather ?trap to the top of a stirrup iron. The iron, which is really of silver or gunmetal, stands on the desk or dresser on the metal base on which the foot rests when one rides, and the clock swings from its tiny leather strap. This would make an Ideal gift for the girl who rides and drives and loves horses.-New York Times. Washable Rugs. The washable rug is being manu factured by fingers proficient in the use of the crochet hook. Any ot the materials, old or new, eotton, silk or wool, which are suitable for rag car peting, may be used for the crocheted rug. For a thin rug adapted to bath or bedroom,- variegated cretonnes combined with plain colors are pretty and durable; figured flannelet makes thicker and softer rugs. Strips for these rugs are torn about half an inch wide and are sewed ? together.-* New Haven Register. Rack For Lids. The tidy housekeeper finds the many lids of pots, pans and kettles j needed in the kitchen a problem to arrange with any degree of order and i neatness. j They cannot be hung up, many of j them, owing to the shape, will not lie j in a pile and they are woefully un j handy in the dresser drawers'. A bright woman to whom the lids I were as the hosts of the evening has j now solved the question in a way both I easy and inexpensive. She got a length of strong wire, . stretched lt across the pots and pans j shelf by means of a couple of nails, j and on this the lids accompanying all the cooking utensils are neatly ar j ranged. The wire supports them ; perfectly, and the even row of shiny I tin things is by no means unorna* ! mental in addition to its handiness.-. ; New York Times. Shelf Covers. ! Have you ever peeped into the i kitchen of some German hausfrau i and been enraptured by its immacu ! late cleanliness, not to say the va j rious attractions that make you want I to linger there? The German matron never hides her own exclusive workshop; she does not screen off its very door as if she were ashamed to own such a room. It is to her the most important in her home, as is evidenced by the scoured pots and kettles and by all her little efforts at beautifying. Her closet shelves are covered, not I with manila or lace paper, nor with I painted oilcloth, but with homespun . linen resembling our coarse crash, j This is fastened by a few buttonholes slipped over some small china knobs .at the back of the shelf. The cover hangs down, lambrequin like, over the front edge of the shelf, and It is on this fall of linen that the German pots, pans and kettles are re produced in cross-stitch in a nice Delft blue to match some of the plat ters and soup plates that stand in rows on the shelves. The patterns i appear only at intervals, and the lin I en is finished by a row of coarse but tonholing along its straight edge. The Danish do these nice household bits, and the goose and gander are popular designs for outlined work on many of their hangings. - Bostor Post. Chocolate Caramels.-One-half cup molasses, one cup sugar, two and one half cups milk, flavor with vanilla. Boll fifteen to twenty minutes. . Pour in greased tins and cut in squares. Fried Rice.-Cook one cupful of rice in three cupfuls of milk and a little salt. When tender put into a deep dish. When cool cut in slices, dip in flour or egg and crumbs and fry. , Raisin Pie.-Cover one-third pound raisins with water and stew until soft. Make crust as usual. Cover bottom crust thick with flour, add raisins and sprinkle with flour. Add three tablespoonfuls of juice from stewing and one glass of sugar. Cream of Asparagus Soup. - Put two ounces of butter in a saucepan, with three tablespoonfuls of flour; stir well and moisten with three pints of white (veal) broth. Put in the equivalent of half a bunch of as paragus; add a boquet (parsley, cel ery, thyme and bay leaf), pepper and salt .to taste. Eoil thoroughly for thirty minutes. Strain and add a cupful of cream. Serve with cooked asparagus tops of croutons (bits of toast). Lettuce Salad.-Slice lettuce into a dish together with several onions; hard boil three eggs, fry until crisp three thin slices of bacon and add to salad; take yolks of one or two eggs and mash with one tablespoonful of sugar, teaspoonful of flour, one-half teaspoonful of mustard, one teaspoon ful of salt, some pepper, dilute with water and one-half cup of vinegar. Stir this into bacon grease on stove and stir until it thickens; then pour over lettuce. Garnish dish with sliced eggs. Must be served imraedijjely. Discreet. "Mav I-may I kiss you, dear?" Said he. "First I want one thing made clear,* Said she. "Have vou e'er kissed maid before, Or tried?" "No." he answered-ehe was sure He lied. Then,.with willing lips, she whis pered, "Well, Yes, you may, since you don't kiss And tell." -Boston Transcript. ? Trne to Life. Teacher-"Johnnie, do you know, tfhat a blotter is?" Johnnie-"Yessum. le's de fing ivot youse hunts fer while de ink gets ?ry."-Chicago Daily News. Quite i3o. "New thought will beautify the plainest girl." "That may be so, but very few girls are going to give up lotions for lotions."-Milwaukee Journal. The Truth. j "I love my work." "Now be honest. Do you really love work?" I' "Well, it's an extremely platonic affection."-Washington Herald. Avoided Misunderstanding. "Did you tell your wife you had a aew typewriter?" ? "I did not; I told her I had pur chased a new typewriting machine. I believe in being explicit."-St. Paul Dispatch'. --?-* ' Tf\ A Satisfactory Explanation. Mabel-"I don't believe you really meant it when you said you were anxious to hear me sing." Sam-"Oh, I assure you I did! You see, I had never heard you sing before."-Pick-Me-TJo. A Gilded Grouch. "Wealth does not always bring happiness." 1 "No," answered the woman who had been reading the latest divorce news, "sometimes it merely brings serappiness."-Washington Star. A Failure. "Did you have any sort of a joy ride?" . 1 "Nothing to brag of. We did hit three or four pedestrians, but not one was hurt seriously enough to go to a hospital."-Baltimore American. His Joke. De Style-"What makes you think Gotrox has almost finished the cigars his wife gave him for CL... :imas?" Gunbusta-"Why, I met him to day, and he said he was almost at the end of his rope."-Harper's Weekly. Rubbing It In. "Yes, I was fined $500 for putting coloring matter in artificial butter." "Well, didn't you deserve it?" "Perhaps. But what made me mad was that the judge who imposed the fine had dyed whiskers."-Cleve land Leader. The Usual Way. "In the natural fitness of things, I wonder"- ruminated the Curious Youth, who was always wondering. "Yes?" inquired the Wise Chum. "If they could get anything out of a milk trust by pumping it?"-Balti more American. A Haunting Fear. "What do you think of this whisky question, Colonel?" asked the brisk reporter. "I am afraid, sah." said the Ken tucky Colonel, gloomily, "that straight whisky is going to get a crooked deal."-Baltimore American. Just the Word "O?d/? Gunner - "Yes, that's a girl's yachting club and they run a yacht without any male help." Guyer-"And they will never for give that editor for writing them up." Gunner-"Why, he merely said they were 'tars.' " Guyer-"No, he said they were 'old tars.! "-Boston Post. Into the Vernacular. "My dear woman," said the liter ary visitor, seeking local color in the slums, "do you ever castigate your offspring?" "Wotyer mean?" asked the lady ol the tenement, with a scowl at the fancy talk. "She means," translated the ac companying settlement worker, "do you ever wallop your kids?"-Ealth more American. Meanest Man on Earth. Irate Barber (to customer as he seats him in chair)-"You see that guy goi?g out the door?" Customer-"Yes. What of it?" Barber-"He's the meanest maa on earth." Customer-"What has he done?" Barber-"Why, the scoundrel sal in my chair for half an hour and nev er told me he was deaf." - Every, body's Magazine. Placing Him. "And what, may I ask, is your busi ness?" "I am a writer of popular songs." "Indeed? That must be a very in< teresting occupation. Do you belong to the Love me all the time In rain or shine, or to the Then unto me did say school of popular song writers Chicp.ga Record-Herald. Man Is the only animal whose nos trils open downward. Even in.the highest apes the nostrils open to the front. The sensitiveness of growing plants to the influence of light is well illus trated by the results of recent re search on hellotropism-the bending ol! stems toward light. Beetles possess an enormous amount of strength. The common beetle can draw 500 times its own weight, and a stag beetle has been known to escape from underneath a box on which a weight had been placed 1700 times greater than the insect's body. One of the most remarkable ap plications of wireless telegraphy is an ingenious arrangement by which the message received works the key board of a typewriter. This Invention has further been applied to the type setting machine, so that wireless mes sages can now be made to print them selves by means of the linotype ma chine. An improved form of the quartz mercury vapor lamp is about to be In troduced in England as a substitute for carbon arc lights. It is claimed that the new lamps will give the same illuminating power as the carbon arcs at about half the cost. ' One great ad vantage is said to be the avoidance of the necessity for frequent trimming. The quartz mercury vapor lamps will run aboiit 1000 hours without atten tion. Some progress has been made in reducing the disagreeable color of the light, but it has not yet been eliminated. , ? In the big desert of Chile there Is a considerable amount of brackish wat er, but no water that either human beings or stock can drink. Science, however, says the Los Angeles Times, has come to the aid of this rainless section of the country in the form.of an ingenious desert water works, con sisting of a series of frames contain ing 20,000 square feet of glass. The panes of glass are arranged in the shape of a V, and under each pane is a shallow pan containing brackish water. The heat of the sun evapor- ' ates the water, which condenses upon the sloping glass, and, made pure by this operation, it runs down into little channels at the bottom of the V and is carried away into the main canal. Nearly a thousand gallons of fresh water is collected daily by this means --rr. NO TIPS IN FINLAND. Maid's Surprise Upon Receiving Money From Her Mistress' Guest??. A country where there are no tips and where small services are ren dered to the stranger without hope of reward would seem hard to find yet such a country ls Finland. So far the tourist has not appeared In any great numbers, and conse quently the commercial spirit which his advent always marks has been absent. As an example of this Mme. Alno Malmberg, a Finnish lady who is paying a visit,to this, country, tells an amusing story. Two English-., friends whom, she had met while over here had been staying with her at her house in Helslhgfors, and on leaving gave the maid a tip. She was very much,astonished and did not know what it meant. Seeing Mme. Malmberg's son coming down stairs, she ran to "him and said, "They gave me money. Did they, give you any?" Hearing that they had not done so, she was much mys tified. "I cannot understand why they should give it to me and not to you, when they know you much bet ter than me," was her perplexed com ment on the incident.-London Morn* ing Post. The Judge Felt Safe. "Some of the West India islanders have learned that when a foreigner misbehaves on their shores it is bet ter to suffer in silence than to mete ?ut punishment at the risk of a de scending gunboat from the miscreant's native land," said Frank H. Griffiths, of Kingston, Jamaica. "A Judge in Hay ti, however, recently took occa sion to pay off old scores and to re deem his self-respect in the case of an offender brought before him. "To his first question, as to the na tionality of the accused, the interpre ter had answered that the prisoner was from Switzerland. " 'Switzerland,' said *the Judge, 'and Switzerland has no sea coast, has it?' " 'No sea coast, Your Honor," said the Interpreter. " 'And no navy,' continued the Judge. " 'And no navy, Your Honor,' was the reply. " 'Very well, then,' said the Judge, 'give him one year at hard labor.' "-< . "Washington Herald. Where to Live Long. Yarmouth is living up to the repu tation Charles Dickens gave it when he advised the purchase of an annu ity and residence at Yarmouth to at tain the age of Methusaleh. The annual report of its medical' officer of health, issued yesterday, states that In 190S the average rate of mortality was much below the pre vious ten years and was two per cent, lower than the corrected average death rate for the seventy-six' great towns, so that on its population o? 50,000 no fewer than 100 lives were saved last year as compared with the mortality in the country generally. London Standard. Rare Exception. "I rather pride myself on OL. thing," said the young father. "Al though I have the brightest, smart est, cutest, best youngster I ever saw. I never brag about him."-Kansas City Times. It is said that in the last five years the membership in temperance so cieties in Gsrmany has more thisiD