Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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[THE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUST? L. C THE PLANTERS LOAN AND SAVINGS BASK. AUGUSTA, GA. i'ajs Interest on Deposits. Accounts Solicited L. C. Hnyne, rrcsitlent. Chas, C. Howard, Cashier. VOL XX VIII. EDGEFIELD, 8. G.. WEDNESDAY. MAY 27. 1903. Ni) 22. A CRITICISM I wish I were ? Sc'-nco, or an Ethics, or a Pinn, Or anything Instead of just un ordinary man. If I wera but a Doctrine, :nine would bc a gayer lot, Or I should i.o delighted wero I just a Higher Thoupht For then tho' mou of millions would be handiaic out tho chucks To aid in-saving me from all the hiudrances that vex. I wish I woro a System, or a Policv, or Chair, For some o o Would endow me, and my pro 'p-ors would be fair; If I could be au Issue, or a Ih.'ory, I know The money to support mo would immediate ly flow; Or, worn 1 not a common man, but sorao thinir like a Fund, I know by all tho plutocrats J tkould not theu be shuuuei. sr* r t The Story of a The following story was related to me by a Russian gentleman, at whoso house I spent, a few weeks last sum mer. He had been in tho employ of his government for some years as an inspector of prisons, and ii was on the occasion of ene of his official vis its to thc famous convict establish ment at Tobolsk that he heard the story from the lips of an old man. who had spent upward of 4'? years in pris on. Substantially lt ran as follows: ''Many years ago-how many. I .. cannot tel' you, sir-I was living oil the outskirts cf tho thriving little town of Ve!na, ?il Russian Poland. 1 was a blacksmith by trade, and my forge stood at the anglo of two cross reads, about a mile from thc centre of the town. Adjoining it was my cot? tage, thc neatest and prettiest lillie homestead ir. all that countryside. Many thoro were who envied me my lot, and. indeed, it was an enviable ono. for few prospered as I did, and none could boast a happier home. "I had been married two years when my wife gave birth tc a boy-a faithful copy of his motlier-who, as timi wont on. grew a sturdy, bright eyed little fellow, the darling of our hearts and the brightest jewel in our crown of happiness. Whar. ho was to mc no words can tel!. 1 know only that he became the very light of ray life, and when some childish ailment checked for a brief space his merry prattle I was like to go mad with grief and fear-so bitter was thc thought that some_ dav. norhaDS. be .*uk?ow,*w*1.a?ien irom mc. One day I was at work when I heard a troop of cavalry approaching thef'forge at full gallon. Laying aside my hammer 1 went over to the half door to catch a glim, so of them as they rode by. Tho leading files had already passed when a piercing shriek rent thc air and froze the very mar row in ray bones-my heart stood still. Oh. God! can I ever forget the fearful sight that met my gaze. I see it now, as piainly as on that day my darling, my heart's idol, and his ansel mother, side hy side on the dusty road, trampled to death by those cruel hoofs. With a terrible cry-a cry such as only a man infu riated to the pitch of madness, can utter-I snatched up my hammer, and whirling it around my head, rushed among the soldiers, now dismounted and gathered about the prostrate and mangled forms of my darlings. A panie seized them and they struggled furiously to get beyond the reach of my wild blows. One there was, how ever, that essayed to close with me and wrest the hammer from my grasp, but I-hurled him to the-ground and struck him a blow, that, had lt fallen on his head, would have killed him outright. Happily for him and for my future peace of mind, his up raised rrm saved him; and before I could strike again one cf his com rades dealt me a blow that stretched mc beside him, bleeding and senrc less. When I recovered conscious ness I found myself lying on the door of a cell in the Foison of Velna. "Oh. the misery of that awakening! How ?nail I describe it to you. sir? How describe the awful sense of des olation that crept over mo with thc first dawning of consciousness, and so laid hoid of me that I prayed, and prayed with all my might, to die? Hov. oescribe the tortures I suffered when the remembrance of all that had happened at the forge that day came back to mo with redoubled force, an !, flooding my soul with anguish, created in me a fierce thirst for revenge-but I cannot, I cannot. To realize my misery you must suffer as 1 suffered, love as I loved-and that I pray you never will. But let me continue my story. The daylight had faded in my cell, when two soldiers, bringing with them food and drink, communicated to me the intelligence that I was to bc tried on the morrow for attempt ing to kill one of His Majesty's guards. I paid little heed to what they said-so wrapped was I in the bitterness of my thoughts-and my indifference angered them. "He is a sullen dog." said one of them, and. spurning me with his foot, passed a cruel jest that sent the hot biuod surging to my head. Had I not been bound I would have fallen upon him and torn him to pieces, but they had chained me to a rbis; in the wall, and strain as I would, I could not reach bim. My fruitless struggles but served to amuse them, and they jeered at me and taunted me with the impo tency of my rape, and so goaded n>e with ttie brutality of their jests that I wa:; like to go mad. When at length they had satisfied themselves with thc cruel sport they left me loft me to the tortures of a sleepless night, of a night filled with memories of my dear ones and of the cruel trag edy that had robbed me of them; and countless times through those long hours of darkness did I see them, side by"side on ilia' dusty road, with their blood-stained faces turned toward me as if in mute appeal to avenge their deaths. "Willi tho dawning of the morning thfso Vision? ffwifd and I sank Into a I OF DESTINY. , II I wero ono of theso tli??iss, why, ibo outlook would be groat: ? They'd oven vote me moue,/ fr-rn the tuxes of tho St.-itf. . Tho good financial fairi?*a with their won der-working wands i Would soothe me with ? shower of their currency and bonds. i If I were something Psychic, or a Social Settlement, I'd never need to worry over coal cr clothes or reut. I wish I wero a Microbe, a Bacillus, or a Germ A microscopic wriggler-just a shy, flus! vc worm For then they'd spend th"ir rn il-Ion?, and in earnestness would suive To traeo mc out and feed ni-\ and to help me keep alive. 1 wish I were a Science, cr au Ethic?, or R rian. Or anything instead of just an ordinary - mac! -W. D. Nesbit, in Chicago.Tribune. G SHADOWS. Siberian Exile. 2 .IHIUIMIUIIIIIIiUlllffla^ heavy slumber, which lasted until tin guards appointed to lake me lo tho place of trial aroused me. "Heavily manacled. J was marched through the streets lu the court, and as I passed through the crowd gath ered around its doors many were ino words of pity for me 1 heard on every side, and many the prayers that God might comfort-me and have me in His keeping. "I ?rill pass over th^ scenes in court-thc testimony of the soldiers, the hisses of the people when i!;-' ju'lg:* condemned me to a life of penal servitude in tko Siberian minos, and . their eagerness to catch a nearer glimpse of me when 1 passed oui on my way back to prison. Tin- recital j would but weary you. Tho nest day ' 1 began by lons and toilsome journey to Siberia. "With many other exiles I wait marchod through tho town and cur into the country by thc road that lcd past my forge. Long before wo came in sight of it. I was si raining my ey? s to catch a glimpse of the little home stead I loved so well; bul when at length it carno in view another sight enchained my attention and stilled in a moment the eager throbbing of my heart. Ah! What a su'.it was that! Coming toward us, round a boucl i:i the road, was H tumbril, heavily draped with black, and. following it. a long procession of men and wom en, many of them weeping bitterly. A mist blurrod mv vi?inn ???.?Tt??..i ' tho tumbril until to my tcar-.llmrrod eye it seemed as a great black cloud that wrapped thu whole countryside in ?s sorrowful folds. Ot: me ir cast its darkest shadow, and 1 cried to Iho guards to kill mc and lay mc beside my do?r ones, for there was oct on God's fair earth ono moro desolate i than I. But they only cursed mc for a madman and lashed mo with their whips to urge mo forward. "Tho tumbril was almosl abreast of us when iho mourners recognized me, and a groat cry of Compassion wein up from all. for they knew how ii had IK'CU with me, and their lu ans wore sore to seo mc treated 'hus in ibo presence of my dead; and moved by a common impuse, they broke in upon our ranks, and. closing round me, bore me. despite the frantic si l ivings of ihe guard, to tho tumbril's side Ono passionate kiss on thc shell thal hid my dalling from my eyes, one ficrec cry ol' vengeanco on thc antin.rs of my miser}'-and I knew no more. "When I tame to myself I was ly ing at the bottom of ih" wagon In which tho guards carried llieir food and equipment. The tumbril and mourners, the familiar countryside- : all had gone-and naught save i In toning band of human misery, tho poor Siberian exiles, was in view. "I will not dwell on tho details of that terrible journey. Suffice it to say that wo rea (bcd Tobolsk, after months of incredible suffering aad privation, a smaller band by many than when we '?fi Vclna. Heath had been merciful to thc weak, and i'-:' only iho strong to suffer. And terrie ble, indeed, wore our sufferings dur- ; ing thc tirsi years of imprisonment, for a cruel man governed.us, an*I ruled us with a rod of iron. "Om; day. while we were at work, a fellow prisoner told mc that a new warden had arrived at thc prison, and would bc on duty for tho first tim? ? that night. I paid Inn little attention to what ho said, and when night fell" and I was locked in my coll 1 had for- . gotten all about it. It was the night warder's duty to visit thc ceils every hour, commencing at. 10 o'clock.-: On that particular night I was more than ! usually restless. It was thc anniv?r- ; sary of that fatal day at Wina. and I paced my cell with ever quickening steps as I recalled, ono by one, tho events of that terrible time. The ' prison clock struck 10, and I paus? d a moment to listen for tne familiar . grating of thc holts at tIto end ?d' iho corridor as tho warder entered to make his usual round. But every-V thing was silent. I waited a few mo ments, and then resumed my walk. The quarter struck, and si ill no war- I de.- came. Then 1 recalled what my fellow-prisoner had told me, and 1 saw how it was. The man was nev.- to i his duties, and, 'like enough would not como at all. But even as're thought passed iiir/>ugh my mind I heard the bolts grating in their soc kets, and, a few moments later, some, ono stumbled up the slops that lcd from thc corridorHo my cell and r?-:l : heavily against thc door. With an . oath he rocoverd himself, and. unlock [ng the dcor, (?ung il wide open. "Tin! dim light prevented meat first , from seeing his face, but I knew from j his heavy breathing and indistinct speech that b" had h'-en drinking. I When, after a slight pause, bc raised j tho lantern and i!:o light foll nu his soddened features. I started back with a cry o? surprise, for I reoogniy.ed in him the soldier who, with a compan ion, had visited mo in Vclna prison, ; and had mocked at mo and Insulted j the memory of my dear ones. Sonic- ! thin? in my look alarm?! him, and ho j made as though ho would draw sword, but I rushed upon him Ilk? wild boast loosed from its cage, a grappling with him, forced him Ha wards down the steps. He raged a swore al mc, and struck mc with i heavy keys which ho hold in his hu until thc blood {Streamed down : face and nigh blinded me; but 1 clu thc more tightly to tiini, and. putt! my foot behin,d him, tripped him a throw him heavily to thc ground. 1 head struck the stone floor with sti tiing turee, and he resisted no long With a glad erv I sprung to my fe and, snatching the sword from 1 side, fell back a pace that I mig give greater force to ray blow. Nei ing myself with tho thought of all had suffered in the past. I was abc tn strike when I foll the light touch a hand on my arm. "(weat (Jodi What did I see! Stai: ing beside me, in a radiance of Mg that seemed in R moment to nick t black shadows enveloping my lieu was my darling boy. with a look mingled reproach and compaasic n < his pure young face that blotti iront my mind all further thought evil. With a cry of shame I thre the murderous weapon from my hal and falling on my knees, wept hilt tears of sorrow, and thanked the got God who had sent him to save n from tho commission of that hatcf deed. Then a blessed calm, such as had never known before, fell upon rc spirit, nr.d i raised my eyes to tl bright figure above me. A heaven! sn.ii ' lit up his angelic face, as if i approval ?if the change his present had wrought in me-and he was gen Rising up a new man, I went into m cell, and bringing ft nh a pitcher ? water, bathed the temples of th prostrate guard and moistened hi lips. Gradual!) he returned to rai sciousncss, and when he was sih'1 fierily recovered, 1 handed him hi .word, ard laic ling before hin begged forgiveness for thc Injury I*-:; ! ??on?! him and tho still greate wrong I had meditated against ?lim But with muttered threats and curse t?e spume?! me from him, and biddin; ;:ic enter my cell, locked the door ol t?;? and i-'!'t me. "Thc next day I was taken befen [he gov.-ruer ami condemned to bi kuoutcd. "As stum as the sentence had beni pronounced I was taken to the prisoi [?ourtyard and fastened by the wrist: io aa Iron post. Then two stalwar warders, with knouts in their hands tared my shoulders and commenced 0 lash rae. "What I suffered as the cruel thong? leseondc 1 en my flc?h and lapped 1 round my quivering body no words an expr< ~ ;. I shrieked with thc; tgouy and called on them in mere;, o kill nv' outright, Hut they lashed ne the more, and I was at the point ouch on my arm that had already spared me " worse punishment, and, coking up, li- iielil my boy beside me "As his tender, compassionate eye3 v. i. mine thc pain of the scourging ?eased, and I fi ll not Hie blows they rained down on my (deeding simul ier?. Lifting his hand, he directed T.y attention to a spot some few ..ards a'lH'ad-and there 1 beheld a strange sight. "Bound to an iron pillar, with hij an- turned from us. was anothci prisoner, his two shoulders bared and livid from titi- blows thal .had already boen showered upon them. As I sa zed on ihe cruel sight thc prison walls melted before my eyes and 1 be hold, as in a vision, thu wholo world ;pread bul before mc. A ii?! I say myriads of people-men. women and children of all sons and conditions Hocking from every point toward thc pillar where ilie poor prisoner was tied. And as they drew nearer I saw that all--vin the children-bece scourges in their hands, with which, is they passed the pillar, they smote with reluctance, as it urged cai by those behind. Others, and they were numberless, smote with all- their might and with malice inconceivable, while others again turned and smote more fiercely than before. One there was who riveted my attention-by tho eagerness with which he pressed on in tin; pillar, anti by t li o revolting ex? pression of his countenance. Never had 1 seen so much malice and hatred delivered with one Idow as when he struck th oso now fleshless bones. 1 cried aloud with honor at tho sight ami strained to burst ray hands, that 1 mi-:lii. tear him to pierces, so infuri ated was 1 by his brutality. And in thai moment both he and the victim of his malice (Urned and looked at ruc and my heart sank within mo. "In thal raging bruie whom I had cursed abd hungered to tear I beheld none other than myself, and in his victim- tho man of sorrows-the mas ter of all. "Then tho vision faded and I found myself lying on a bcd in the prison hospital. I had been unconscious, they told me, for many hours-so s? ve-', had been thc punishment 1 liad suffered al the hands of the warders. "When ! was well enough 1 re turned to my work, and thenceforth ray life was a happier one. The one short glance of divine forgiveness which the master had deigned lo cast on mu al thc pillar changed my windi. life, and gave rae new hopes of a bet I ter one hereafter-of a glad reunion with those I had loved long since lost I a while ' For many years I have waited for thal happy day of emancipation, and I know now that it canno! be far off nay. that il is very near. Often, fd l?t.-. I have heard fragments ol' the most beautiful music that ever rav ished Ihn ear of man. and today my cell has been lilied with its glorious melodics. Mark! There, again! Do >ou uol hoar ii-louder and more joy. tum? And SO?- Hie light! The light .>!' heaven! How it thrills and lifts rae 'ip. And my darlings! They beckon me with outstretched arm:? at last : Al iar.l! " Mere thc poor prisoner stopped short, and. staggering forward a pace ur i wo. l'i-tl lo the grouml-dead. The happy day of hla emancipation had dawned at lasl and life's long shadow broke in cloudless love Philadelphia Record. Thc navy which g?vc3 Kingland th; supremacy cf Ihe . ' cotds glim/HM).- ; 1)00 a year, or a liUbi itmro ?han iii?: Unltod Slate:- paya a your In in-nniona j CHIME IN i I MACEDONIA. ! vonni n's honor cnn bo sale In MacMlmiin, or else ..?I! Kilropo is in ?1 conspir acy lo nmlign thc Tink. Torture In specially hid eous furnis H tinily in flicted upon mothers mid mn his Whoso hallies and wrongs, vowjiotl i'm- hy witnesses, have been widely printed. Thc mci] arc overpowered by numbers, burnell or impaled ur mutilated. Comment lug editorially upon nil these things Thc l>:iily News (Lon doitl says: "The Turk lu Macedonia work.-: in tho minor kev. Ile pillages, rubs, vio lates mid perpetrates Hie brutish tor tures which lc. aione among European BRIGANDS " OF : ; i?^?tfS*? .* "-ici;" ? -3?s& :" . > ? '-^ v(%' ? i'-" CUI.MXK-I4 i'ANKOFF, Kot ed :is a loader nf '.irregular" r?volu I iona ry bauds lu Macedonia. peoples, has handed down from the Middle Ages, and from remoter days of barbarism. Ills oiilehtls and sol diery are liiii paid, and so ikey quarter themselves oil thc populalion. Hein-1 forcing Hie dels of il:.' Tinks are Al banian troups and brigands, who are j lo thc Macedonians what thc Kurds 11 tho Armenians. Alhnuian law lessness has .developed of late years: ?um, lime. tl. Al.iaimi ie .. . .... .?_,_ lim and the avenger on thc Christian races nf rho I u vet era to misrule of tho predominant partner In (his ill-assorted empire. The reports before us show thal noitlier life, nor women's honor, inn- private property is rc.?peded in Macedonia, and ilia I ibo nominal tol eration accorded i" Christians disap pears when the military are given their head. Till.? is tho situation." A mus? gloomy view nf thc situation ls taken by ibu lU-ichswchr (Vienna!, which predicts lim failure nt the re form measures undertaken by Austria nuil liussia. This view is shared hy oilier observers, who insist i hut" the Powers aro concerned no) so much alunit reforming Macedonia as about tho political consequences of that un dertaking. The Powers are mutually suspicious. Thus Mle Sviol (Odessa 1 says Italy is preparing lo make a de scent upen Tripoli lim moment a con flict breaks oui between iii" I'alkan Slav Stales and Turkey. Tho Pop?lo Itomaiin says haly bas nothing in par ticular to do with I hu Macedonian question: "As long as tho Towers concerned with .Macedonia remain within tho lim its prescr.lied by Ibo herlin treaty, public opinion In haly has m-t iho slightest reason for .-MIN'iel.v. liven a repetition of the I ?illgar ian ntrociiies and a revolutionary movement In Maeedouhi ned Involve no risk lo Ita Iv's foreign policy. This is due to tho oft-mi'iu ?on* il ?gi.men! Iielwocn Austria-Hungary and haly willi ref erence to Albania Ibat is. lim portion of the Kulkan peninsula willi which Italy's commercial ami political rela tions an- prInci|ially*coiicuriM'd." Macedonia will sn.ed lu throwing off the Turkish yoke, according i<> a well-informed bm anonymous writer in The Neue Kn ie Presse iViemia). New l'r?--ii"?'iit ul' I'.razil. 1 ir. Francisco ile Paula Kodrigucs Alves ls tho new Prcsidohl of llie United Stan - or Itni7.il. I 'resident Al ves belongs i" I he li1 publican party, which i's alsu describ? il as ibo ..Con servative" p.iii.v. lio has held many public pi sil ?ons. and is ul.I the ablest men in I'.ra/.il. Dr. J'.ra m lao. who w.:s elect ttl Vice Presidelir, has recently died. Pri'sldeni .Vives bolds that ii i< abso lutely necessary i- pay all ii:-.- repub lic's idiligaliollS ill gobi. His chief cf for? will be lo rais- the value ol' the paper curroiiey. Ho <i iOg nm adv?cate a partisan liiodHieatloli of th? iimslitu UK. ri:.\N?'isi o c. ;; >i>i:i'.: ! vnvica. (Thu Jfew l'i.? ? I? nt IJniRiJ.) Hun, a< le- believes ii now ciillindies Hie mosl advanced prim-ipii-s of democ racy. Striking au average o? Hie whole Orango Uiver colony, hmo value? have dOUUIcd 'euci; i \m wa v. FOLDING WORK BENCH An Ufialghtly Picco of Furnitnre Tuckctl Away In fl Cl?>??-t. All CXceed'llglV C-IrVO? il l'i'i? ?1 IT? * 1111 " 111 hus been recenily devised by which a man wlio wants a work hench hi 'ho house can have Iiis wisii supplied with out rho necessity of being constantly confronted willi what is necessarily a somewhat homely piece of furniture. Itt these days o? general manual train ing nearly every man and many women have a good knowledge of (he use of tools, ami it is uni an uncommon thing lo lind an escollen! and complete set of Joels Itt lite possessio!! nf gentlemen who gol mm e or I.. s pleasure in per? form in;; various minor matters around the house in ike way of coiis'trnction and repair, lt ls not every man who hits fIto space at his disposal to give up (o a work bench, and this" ls quite as essential ;i> the tools, and In re THE BALKANS* 1 r \t' *** ' / mm^h vb* (???*?. - ii. it'i B?lt li Pronounced "the .mos. notorious MrtCi ilonhm lenders. of spouse lo the demand ol' gentleman carpenters various devices have heeu worked oat for their convenience. At tractive wall cabinets io lc.M the lord? conveniently have leen in ike market for some little time, hu, thc. latest thing ju this line a coiulilnation cab inet and work, hench, which is shown in i bc accompanying cuts. This eon? ^^sv?)fifie"e of a wardrobe er closet when* (dosed. 'Two of the sides are doors, and when "j>.. i.: opened all the louis in mme general demand are coli ly displayed thereon. When tho rTi door Ss upi ned ?? permits the ?lhnr?? WORK nEXrit AM? Tool. CAUtNET. bench to be dropped lino position U v use. thc wind - making a v. ry compact and conven h nt arraUgenn at. The bell"'! is made ol" hard we ni, is ihree feel long and has a si mug parallel jawed vise. Ii is provideil willi a Lench stop ?iud has a series of Ind? s for similar slops running Hie entire length. This .'eal.le? work !.. lu- held securely at ?Milli (lids. There is a sliili::g guide mi each side ?if ihc bench which supports werk wb'ii necessary. A C..lili- ll" l?lirl< ll..:-?-. Aeeonllng io tin- political oracles, Allon lt. Parker, - leer judge o'' ilu; New fork ("euri ol' Appeals, stands a cha ive of beim: lin* UeXI Democratic Jl'imi: A1.T? >\ O. I'AUKKU. candidate fi r iii - Presidency 'd' th? Pulled Slates. ile was born on his father's farm al ('ort la nd. N. V.. in May ll. IS?VJ. Iii? edina I iou was hegwi in the I "ort hind Academy, and from lhere he weet li lli.- Pori la nd Nurina I School. \\\< do .-ire io go lo etd legi* was never fiillill-.-il, fer ai sixteen ii-- ::. "e lip hil own schooling "lo ?uslriicj tlie lender mind." After his experience a- a ieachel" lu i-Hlered tlc- hw i.?b e el" Si I.munker .v liardenliergli. In 1^77 and ISSI! Marker was elected Surrogate hy ib.- I?eiin- lilts -d' I'lsiei Condy, li- ISH-I b-- was a delegan !.. lile enliven' ?lill al l.'tlic.'liTO Which nominated i ;mver <'level:-nd for i'roi deni. I Hiring ;i? - caiii|:<i:gii Theodore |{. Westbrook of ?li.- Supreme Coull died and l??vcriior ?lill app"iu( -I Mr. Parlo-, io till Ids place; lu .lune. I S.v.?. h.- was desigiiaicd l y i.'iiveriiof io idl |n ll.e ?ceoiid division ol' lb:- Coil I" t iii* Appt'iils. ACTIONS AND WORDS Hero'* a sentiment worthy to koop fa your mimi As von travel through lifo, for k's truo voa will Ilml, That you're not no much valued by what you may .sn)', Aa by what you may do In a practical way : For unless you perform what you Fay you vim do, Grave doubt* will nrlso thnt you're honest ami true. Though your voice bo aa H weet ns tho song of tho birds. Remember, that actions speak louder thuu words. Nor would I discourage the mrs ?neo that cheers, Or tho prayers, or tho blessing of sympa thy's ?eur.-: They ure always In order, they help In tli.-ir way To hasten the dawn of millennial day. Cut a htllo mow gold sandwiched In with jour prayers Would banish more teara und lighten more cares. Thou-h ymir voleo bo ns sweet aa the song of th^ birds, Remember, Unit actions speak louder than words. - 'aim's llora, HUMOROUS. Miss Angora-I have gold filling tn my teeth now. Miss Maltese-You have? Miss Angora-Yes: I just ate the gold fish. Blobbs-He doesn't know enough to como in om of tho rain. Slobbs Well, he knows enough to always have a borrowed umbrella. Sillicus-Women always go to ex tremes. Cy Ulcus-That's right. Ii they are noi in the height of fashion they aro hi tho depths of despair. Visitor--So you can fount up to ! eight, eh, .Johnny? Dou r you know what comes after eight? Johnny yes, sir: nursie lo pul mc i<? bed! j Miss Aaa Toque-But you don't think marriage is always a game of chame? .lack Young- N'o. indeed; some people! have no chance at all. Airs. Muggins-Did sue marry we'!? Mrs. Muggins-Yes, indeed. I und. r sianrl thai she has considerable dif ficulty in spending all her alimony. Wigg-So siic finally landed him, eh? How did she do it? Wagg-She told him her Tal her had forbidden her lo ..-.co him again, and the rest was j easy. .Mrs. Z.-Liston, George-the baby is saying 'Oo-goo-ja-bo-oo-go!' What docs ii remind- yen of?" Mr. Z. "H'm! reminds me of a brakvir.au j calling out stations." Tough Vom li-Say, f want to buy some handkerchiefs fer a young lady. Clerk-Plain? Tough Youth- \'aw, she ain'l plain; an' I kin lick the man that says she .:s. "Was it a 'faiewell tour?' asked the close friend. "I should say not," re- j hoon greeted with over-ripe vegctabls; "I never fared worse in my lifo." "Why do Ketchem & Co. stick tno stamps on their letters upside down? : They must, bc crazy." 'Quite thc op posite. They wish to give people tho Idea they are doing a rushing busi ness." "Hui." protested thc pkiin citizen, "don't you consider honesty a good thing?" ".Sure!" replied the politi cian. "Eui it's like all good things; you've got to make some money bo- | fore you can afford it." IJ03I (In a low voice to his wife) 1 have a fearful headache. Do get rid of our gilesta as soon as ever you can. Hostess-Well, I cannot put them out. Host-No, my dear, but you can play the piano. "What in tho world aro you doing?" asked Mr. Horsefly. "Why, | am teach ing my brood how to diet on gasoline," rosiMindod Mrs. Horsefly; "if they ex pect to exist they must depend on the automobile for a living." "I would like to find out how many idle nun lhere are in town." "Well, just start some laborers to digging a sewer." "Hut they won't bc idle." "No; but every idle man in town will stand around and walch Hiern." "Oh. excuse mc for stepping on your feet." stammered the blushing J young maiden. "Certainly!" respond ed Hm gallant young man; "I only j wish 1 had as many feet as a conti- j pede, and that you would step on them ( all." Mr. Brisk-1 am going to marry your daughter, and 1 called to ask a j Pw questions about her financial I prospects. How do you stand? Mr. j Hulky- How du 1 stand? On two good j feel, sir-two good feet! Try one (zip!) Try thc other-(zip!) How dc | you like "em, sir? Gardening for an Invalid. Several years ago l found myself too muon of au invalid lo bo out in the garden sowing seeds and with no one at my servite who, in my opinion, could be trusted lo do it for. A sum- i mer without flowers was too dreary a prospect to bo contemplated. I se cur-'d a half dozen wooden boxes about thc size of common soap boxes hand had lunn sawed SO that Uley were each four inches deep. Those boxes were so small that when filled willi soil I hey could be easily lifted about. I had tho boxes filled with soil from i he garden; and now imagine my comfort as 1 sat at a table sowing ruy BI cds! There were no cramped limbs and aching bael;, as was usually the ?ase when I had sowed ray seeds in thc sei d bed. 1 had that year as fine a display of ann tia J s as 1 ever had when thc seeds were sow n in tu?: gar den. In suite of ibo fact that tho weather did not gel warm enough for ii io i"- prudent for an invalid to sit on Hie ground to transplant Hiern until between June '.' and li. Country Uti in Amerita. Eveiybcdy Satisfied. "Diplomacy is a curious game," said nile salesman. .?|t is." answered the other: "it is one in willoh liie most satisfactory re sails are achieved when both sides, can go home ami claim a v. lory." Washington Siar. Wanned to Frighten Hie Wife. Frail oisi f.luiqucl ul Holli ;:. Fiar.ee inieudiii:; lo give his wile a fright pretende.! io hang himself, linforlu no! ely. rope slipped from um!"t bis anim and be swum; bv de neck. He .vas cul down insi in time to savu !i!3 life isuggies. iOl ?Je -%*%*%*V%^%-''& >-?. Largo Shipments of thc host makes of wagons and buggies just received. Our stock of furniture, bouscfurnishings is com plete. Large stock IT WU always on hand. All calls for our Hearse promptly rcs ponded to. All goods sold on a small margin of profit. Call to seo mc, i will save you money. G. P. COBB, Johnston, S. C. The Artist's Favorite ?T" I 9 a ns sss lal I Unsurpassed In touch, tone, workmanship and dura bility. Sold on Terms of Easy Payment. Factory and Warcro oms, Cincinnati, Ohio. J. A. HOLLAND. Traveling Agent for South Carolina. NINETLI-SIX, s. e. MANUFACTUi?ERS OF AND DEALERS IN Cement, Plaster, Hair, Fire Brick, Fire Clay, Ready Roofing and Other Material. Write Us For Prices. Corner Reynolds and Washington Streets, = = GEORGIA. BEACON Fl ELD'S EYEGLASS. British Statesman'? Dexterous Use of Thin Little Article. Few accessories of ju rsonal attire have played a more Interesting' pan in parliamentary life than the simple eye glass. The greatest conjurer In the u?" of this little article the historic legisla tive Chamber (vcr contained was the late Lord Beaconsfield, say:; the Pall Mall Gazette. Ii has often hern s.iid of him thal ho was a splendid actor. He certain* ly cont riv d a sort of dumb show with his eyeglass to create striking theatrical effects, and the manner In. which ho wouid manage, when-it suit-, ed him. to lost* the thin-r in thc folds of his clothing, sri thal he could patnr? lu his speech while fumbling l'or th? missing article - a inonu utary respite which gave him time to think- was a frequent subject of mirth in the smok ing rooms. One Incident of the hind will never lu; forgotten by those who witnessed lt. Mr. Disraeli, then Prime Minister, was speaking with great solemnity on a question of foreign policy. ll lind been several pines noisely interrupted by a somewhat boi-dorous Scotch rep resentative, who threw out Ironical doers without any relevant applica tion. At the third <>r fourth at tempi the great Minister stopped abruptly in tho middle ot a sentence. Tin-re was ?li-nfl silence in the crowded house as members watched the statesman slow ly feel for bis eyeglass, mechanically adjust it to his eye. and then, turning lo the direction cf ile? Interruption give the Highland gentleman our < x pressive look. Having satisfied him self of theidentity of the offender, an expression came over the Prime Min ister's face which seemed to say: "Oh. it's you. ls ii? Poor fellow, you don't know better!" The eyeglass dropped with a clink against the watch ?duiin and the speaker relsnmed his remarks at the very point id' tl"- broken sen tence. This honorable member had good reason to remember the episode throughout Iiis Parliamentary career. His colleagues never allowed him tn forget it. When Disraeli could find his eve. glass in a hurry and f<! it promptly It was p -ure sign thal ho was annoy ed. Regarded as a Dr?racy. The general l:v->- in Russia, except that of thc muzhik, t.- described by Mr. Larry, in "Ivan Al Home." as per haps a hit too unsubstantial for West ern Ideas, bul on rh-' whole fairly port able. Th? muzhik's liking for grease in his food is carried to tho extreme. 1 remember, writs Mr. Barry, once calling thc attention of one of tho fool men to tho candle, which war, not properly fixed into- : lie candlestick. Ho rory simply righted thc matter hy tak. ing the r?ndle.? ut putting it Into his mouth and biting half an Inch off, which he swallowed ami seemed to enjoy. To show thal tho muzhiks are not particular as to whal He y drink. 1 must mention thc ease nf si man who was ni*brly'-inincd by their taste for petroleum. He had nu ?ubiirhail vil!a'-r" 'morning kc cann the department w and annonni cd t" his contrat t anil paid. "Why do you wain i-? give up your Contract? I though! the price of pe troleum was going down." said the director. "Yes, so it is." responded Ivan. "It is not the price that frightens me." "Then what is thc matter?" asked the director. "Why. you see. excellency, as fast as I put tho petroleum Into tho lamps tho pigs of muzhiks come and drink it." .. coal : ac! lo light a vi1!: petroleum. One ie to ?ho dir .ctor of rit.li a very long face, hai ii . nins! give up foil the money CI,EA:;IN(! PIANO KEYS. lano keys thai have become discol* I cover with a rather thick paste le of lemon juice and prepared !k cr whiting. Bc careful not to i; gei between the keys. Leave a minnies, then wash off with a soft li. wrung mil of wann wuiwr. Pol* with thc link's! drop of sweet-oil, thou rub with soft duster lill ish md ?very tr*Cl Of ci! is removed, SOLD? ICU S WED A SAILOR. During one of tho terrible storms early in l??02 a smack wa? soon to bo in distress om ide of Ramsgate. Thc vessel was making for tim harbor, but, missing the entrance, was carried to ward the pier, where she would be smashed to pieces If she struck, says a writer in an english magazine. Rath er than face this risk the crew took to thc small boat, which bobbed about on thy raging sea. drifting helplessly. Hopes were thrown to tho men, and two of ?hem we;,- hauled ashore. The skipper, howevi r. lost his grip and fell back Into the waves, ile would cer tainly have h- en drowned bul for the plin k and presence of mind of Lance Corporal Taylor, of thc Royal Engin eers, who dived after him. The nnfor tunate caprnfn. hampered by his heavy ?ea-togg ry and chilled with cold, was powerless io help himself, but Taylor succeeded in seizing him and in keep ing him alToai until i>i>!h were drawn .ip hy a li? buoy fastened to a rope. The onlookers cheered ibo brave sol dier. wh... e heroic deed had saved the Lipper, applauding nom the less hear tily for thai Taylor was a unlive yf il.: m-.?.'.ale.