Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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The PLANTERS LOAN and SAYINGS BANK, AUGUSTA, GA., Organized 1870. Oldest Savlnzs Bank In Eastern Georgia. Largest Savings Capital in City. Pays Interest and Compounds every 6 months. VOL. LXIII. NO. 26. They are slaves xho tear to speak. Por the fallen and the weak, " They aro slaves who will not choc so Hutred, scoffing and abuse Rather than in silenee shrink From the truth they need must think; They are slaves who dare not be Tn the right with two or three. A LAWYH By O. MANY 'URIOTJS cases in my profession? Oh, yes, plenty. I often smile to my self when I find the novelist taking up old family in cidents and work ing them up into Btories; and then I think of what plots T could have famished if they had not been fam - 8ecrets, ?f u ll)JV. ^yy? Private and thor oughly confidential character. I remember one case that, chancing the names,it will be ao particular breach of confidence to mention, and I tell it the more frankly because it is a little against myself, and I must own that I did not act quite upon what is called the square. In faot, I played a part-a negative kind of part-for I did nothing else out hold my tongue. If I had spoken : it would have vbeon fifty thousand pouuds or so out of a truly honest man's pocket and into a rogue's; sq, somehow, I lei my feelings get the better of my professional conscience, and I said not a word. IwasoldJohu Hendricks's solicitor, and looked after his property, for I had known him when he was a strug gling man and I was a young lawyer With none too much practice. Then I lost sight of him for twenty years, at the end of which time I was still plodding along respectably, just hold ing my own and nothing more, when, going iuto one of the city taverns for my regular daily chop, which I ate at tho same table for so many years that I had become one of tke institutions of the place, I fonnd myself opposite to a yellow-lookiug, thin, gray-haired man, who kept on lookiuc rm f plate to stare at me thought. I did not resent his but At last it became that I determined to 1 .and I gazed firmly into . "Why, it is!" he exe ?old boy, don't you kne "That's Jack Hend exclaimed, nearly tip_...^tt .?r p?ate, and the next moment we were sitting there, hand clasped in hand, and with the tears iu our eyes, looking very foolish and weak, I dare day, to the other occupants of the room; but that did not trouble as, for we had too much to say to each other. John Hendricks told methat he had been in the north of India, close to Nepanl, for over twenty years. He had gone out as a factor to au indigo grower, and had become a grower himself. "And now," he said, "I have come to look after my dead sister's sons and -to die." "Well, old fellow," I said, "the first part's right enough, but as to the dy ing, I think it's as well to leave that alone. It will be all settled for you. The only thing with respect to that, speaking as a professional man, is to make your will, if you have anything to leave, and then make the most of your span." "Have you made yours, Dick?" he said sharply. "I? No," I said laughing. "F\? nothing to leave, Jack;" and then we went into mutual confidences: and niter I had told him of my own hard working life, he gave me to under stand that he had made a very large fortune in indigo, and spent very little on himself. "Mine's been too hard-working a life, Dick," he said, "for mo to be much of a spender; but it will be a fine thing for Jenny's two boys if-if I like them," he added sharply. And theu, with a quiet, subdued look, "Poor Jenny! I should have liked to eee her again." .John Hendricks was fifteen years my senior, but we became onte more the closest o. friends, for he' seemed to resume his old protective way over me, but trusting mo most fully in every point. It was all done in a quiet, unosten tatious way, but from the day cf John Hendricks's return the world began to smile on me. I had a great deal of professional business to do for him, and as he had most extensive connec tions among old indigo plauters, I found them coming to me, right und left, by his recommendation; so that very soon, in place of finding it hard work to keep one clerk, 1 had very hard work for four, and a big balance at my bank. But I am getting on too fast. Before long I met the two nephews at their uncle's quiet little house at Chelsea, and as we sat at dinner I could not help thinking how kindly fortune was behaving to the young men to place them in the way of such expectations; and before I left it was plain enough to me which was the un cle's favorite. This was Philip, a frank-faced young fellow of two or three-aud twenty, very gentlemanly in his ways, and deoidedly good-looking, while he was full of auecdote, and, without seeming to be toadying, full of atten tion to the old man, to the old man. to whose dogmatic speeches he list ened with the greatest deference. For old John had grown terribly dogmatic. He had had the management of hundreds of. poor ryots for so many years that he felt quite a king in his way, and would bully and snub every one when his liver was a little worse thar usual-everyone, that is, except me, for whenever he was out of tem per he never would speak to me, but nod and shake his head, and smoke his ohillum till he felt more at ease, DOV!. Is true frcedon but to break Fetters for our own dear sake, And, with leathern hearts, forgot That we owe mankind a debt? No! true freedom is to sharo AU the chains our brothers wear, And with heart and hand to be Earnest to make others free. -James ltusseil Lowell. Samuel was the very opposite of his brother j beiug a short, thick-set, plain fellow, with only one good fea ture-or ought that to be two?-in his face, and that his eyes, which were, for a man, beautiful, and, best of all, in their steady, honest look, which never seemed to blanch or have anything to fear. Time went on, and at Johu Heu dricks's wish I took Philip as articled clerk. "Let him be a lawyer," said my old friend; "not a barrister, but a lawyer, a family solicitor, who knows the value of property aud how to manage it, for-in confidence, Dick, do you hear?" I nodded. "You may charge for it, if you like; I mean to make that boy my heir, but don't tell him." "I don't tell what my clients say to me," I said. "No, you dry, old wooden box," he said, chuckling; "I never met with such a snuffy, reticent old humbug as you've grown." "Weil, if I had not, you wouldn't have made me your solicitor," I said, grimly. "Perhaps not, Dick; perhaps not, old fellow; but we should have been friends all the same; but don't give Phil the slightest hiut of what I mean to do for him. Let him work, and get to be a clever, shrewd man of business. I hate an empty dandy. Let him learn the worth of money be fore he gets it. God bless him! he's exactly like poor Jenny." "And how about Sam?" I said in my gruff, rcpelleut way. "Let him stop where he is, and sell tea and tea-dust, and make his money out of the chests," he said, in a hard, harsh manner that I did not like. "But you'll leave him as much as you leave his brother?" I said. \" "That I wrm't T\i~y Tf-?j --o?a. 1 j lciiuw. '.'Bosh! Don't tell me, sir. I can read character. I haven't V d to sixty-eight for nothing, sir. xue fel low never shows me a bit of deference. He's rough and independent, and bul lies his brother justas that scoundrel, his father, did my poor sister Jenny. I don't like him." Now I, too, had studied character a little, and I knew enough of John Hendricks to see that T should be doing no good by fighting on Samuel's behalf, but I made it my business a few days Inter to ask him to call ni: on me; and during the interview the opinion I had already formed was strengthened. "No, Slr. Brown," he said warmly, "I can't do it. I don't say but Avhat if my uncle left me some money I should be glad ol' it, for-for I am thinking of getting married, sir; but my uncle does not like me. He has taken a prejudice against me because !-e says I am exactly like my dead Tither, and I can't help that, of course." "But you might try to humor him a .ittle, and let him see that yon don't deserve his-I am sure-wrong opin ion." "Thank you for that, Afr. Brown," he exclaimed, and his eyes looked soft and subdued; "but I could not do it, sir. I never would toady to auy one for the sake of the money t jat might come, and if I were to go there trying to please my uncle, he would only de spise me for it. My poor mother taught me, Mr. Brown, aud I have never forgotten her teachings." 1 found before long that John Hen dricks was thoroughly in earnest, for he sent for me one day to take instruc tions to make hi.? will; but I could not help laying down my pen when I found that he intended to leave the whole of his property, save some trifling legacies to servants and others, to his younger nephew, Philip Hems ley. "Now,*" I said, "is this fair?" "Sir," he said, "you aro now my professional man." "Adviser," I said, correcting" him; "and I advise you to do your duty by your nephews by leaving them equal shares." "I'll do nothing of the kind," he said. "I'll leave it all to Philip." I argued and fought, and the result was that he let me put down two thou sand pound*", for Sam; but the great property of a hundred and odd thou sand pounds, well invested, was left to Phil. "Now, Dick," said the old fellow chuckling, "tko?* boys will be sure to ask you if you have any will oi mine.and I want to humbug them; so we'll de posit this at the banker's, and then if they ask you if you have my will, you can say 'No.'" Everything was done as he wished, anet the will placed at the banker's; and though, during the next five years I tried hard to get the old man to make a fresh one, he grew more obstinate than ever, shutting his eyes blindly to the character of his nephews; and all I could do was to let matters take their course. It was a bad course for Philip Hems ley, who was, in a quiet,secretive way, a regular scamp-his father over again. Ho was very clever and shrewd as a lawyer, and got on well when he stuck to it, and this pleased the old man, to whom he was devotedly atten tive; while poor Sam seemed to be come more and more estranged, though a better and truer-hearted fellow never married apure, sweet little woman like an augel, who poured ?nt tea foi a grim old fellow. I was often at his snug little home, and, after trying in rain to make things better for him with bia rich uncle, I came to the conclusion that they would be no happier for the money, so I let matters slide. "Two thousand will be a nice nest egg for them," I thought, "so per haps all is for the best." As I hare said, Phil became a Bhrewdish fellow in the law, and passed his examination pretty wei!, so that he knew what he was about in legal matters; and one day he proved the truth of his uncle's prophecy by saying to me suddenly. "My xtncle is far from well. Mr. Brown. Have you got his will?" "No," I said, so shortly that he turned upon his heel and went away. About a month later I was with my old friend, and felt shocked at the change, for it was evident that he was not much longer for this world. He had sent for me, and I was iu hopes that he meant to alter his will, and J was right. "What a while you have been com iug," he said querulously. "I wanted you so badly, Dick." "I came on directly, old fellow," I said, kindly. "Here, let me put you a little more easy." "Thank ye, Dick," he said, "but it's all over. That boy has killed me. Did he ask you if you had my will?" "Yes, about a month since, and I said 'No.'" ( "I knew it, Dick; I knew it," he said, pitifully; "and ever since he has been worrying me to let him make my willi Dick, old friend, I've made a big mistake. There, there, don't jump upon me. I-I confess it all. I thought he was his mother's boy, he was BO like her; but-but he has his father's spirit and his ways to the verv bone." "I am glad you have awakened to the truth," I said. "You should have advised me bet ter," he retorted querulously, "Should 1, Jack?" "No? no; you did, Dick. I've onlj just found out what an old fool I am, my dear boy; We have quarrelled terribly, that boy and I, for I have found him out, in spite of his smootb tongue; He's a Bcamp, L villain-a gambler, and in debt terribly. He has half killed me, Dick, and and-" I tore at the bell, as the poor old fellow seemed about to have a fit. for the terrible emotion he had suffered at what must have been the rooting up of his most cherished belief in his sister's child had proved, in his weak state, to be more than he could bear. The doctor was sent for, and at the ; * hrmr John Hendricks was tay cuni* ?cid'I, sirtiug beside IUD uucior was rignt,tor my poor ol a friend never recovered his senses, but quietly breathed his last a few hours later. The funeral followed in due form, and I was there, both as old friend aud solicitor, to me the very small party who went to the grave. Sam was there, of course, making no indecorous show of sorrow, while his brother sobbed aloud over the grave; but he had a good deal recov ered when we assembled afterward in the dil.' ' .oom of my old frienl's house, .d few friends wondering whether he had remembered them in his will, about which 3ubject I heard a whisper going round that none had been left. I suppose that it was from a feeling of importance, perhaps more from an unwillingness to wound poor Sam Hemsley and his young wife by letting them hear the unjust will, that I did not hurry myself to produce it, though I don't think they anticipated much. But all at once, to my utter astonish ment, Philip rose, coughed to clear his husky voice, and said quietly: "I presume you all know how much I have of late been in my uncle's con fidence, so that you will not be sur prised that, as I was by his wish a solicitor, he should have entrusted to me the making of his will." I am a man of the world, but for the moment I was knocked off my balance. Then I was about to exclaim, as I saw him bring forth the document: "Why, you scoundrel, you have forged a willi" Fortunately for Sam, I recovered myself, and sat with my old friend's genuine will buttoned up beneath my coat, while, with the calmest audacity, the rascal read out the document that, as a lawyer, he had cleverly forged. I saw it all now. He had asked me if I had his uncle's will, and I had said no. He must have searched the old man's papers aud found none, aud, feeb ing safe, Philip had forged a will in his own favor, and artfully, too, mak> 1 ing one about which there could be no dispute; for he provided legacies to friends, and the residue, which proved to be over a hundred thousand pounds, in equal moieties to his nephews, j Samuel and Philip Hemsley. I sat and laughed to myself as 1 j heard him read this piece of forgery, j which was all in due form, clever from 1 the man's cunning in contenting him self with half, knowing that if the will j were otherwise it might have been dis puted, when now it would be taken as perfection; and there, all the time, I sat with the genuine will in my pocket, I from which he was cutting himself off ! by this act, while I rejoiced to think how the villain was being forced as it j were by fate to do justice to his brother Sam. What would you have done-given the scoundrel into custody as a forger, made a terrible upset, and caused no end of trouble about the property? Perhaps you would. I did not, for I went home, after satisfying myself that the false will was in due form, and destroyed the real one. Ye?, I know what you will say-that it was a felonious act, and that 1 ought to have been struck off the rolls. Perhaps I ought to have been, but I. pondered on the fact that, instead ol the whole hundred thousand pounds going to a villain who would stoop to forge, half of it went to a truly deserv ing man ; so I left the punishment tc higher powers than those of man, and kept my seeret, which is a secret still, for I have only riven fictitious names, LADSTl LI ILLIAM EWART GLADSTONE, the great Com moner, the Grau cl Old Man, is dead. The foremost Britisher of his time has found peace and rest af ter a long life of strenuous and splendid activity in the highest realm of human effort. William Ewart Gladstone was born in Liverpool, England, on De I cember 29, 1809. He was spinning tops, at five years, when Bismarck was the new baby at Schoenhausen. I He was learning Greek, at the age of ten, when Victoria pnt in an appear ance. He entered Parliament when Andrew Jackson was in his first term a3 President, and did not leave it un ? til Grover Cleveland had begun his second term. He and Daniel Web ster were serving their first terms as Cabinet officers in the Administrations of their respective countries at the same time. Although born in Liverpool, Glad stone was fond of proclaiming that every drop of his blood was Scotch. He came of the Gledstone family, of j Lanarkshire, where the Gledstones are first heard of. Centuries ago-away I Willhus ?*i?d .Un e th ? 1?-L sur Biggar early in tue s-tcim,^.- - tury, and bj the time William's grand son had beev boin the family name had been altered to Gladstones. Tho Premier was baptized Gladstones, but in 1835 his father, John, dropped the final "s" from his name. His father was Sir John Gladstone, a wealthy merchaut>who relinquished a small business in Glasgow, about 1785, and removed to Liverpool, where he acquired a large fortune in the East India trade, being created a baronet in 1816. This fourth son was sent to Eton, and while there gave promise of the splendid brilliancy which marked his course at Oxford, from which he graduated at Christ church in 1831 as double first class, tho highest honor and one rarely at tained. Then he became a fellow of AU Souls'. GLADSTONE IN After traveling for a short period he entered Parliament in December, 1832, as member for Newark, a nomina tion borough belonging to the Duke of Newcastle, which he continued to represent tili 1846. It is a mark of strong character when a man who finds he is headed in the wrong path turns completely around and leads in the other direc tion. Gladstone, when he was first elected to the House of Commons, just after the passage of the reform bill that made English representative government, previously a mockery, into something like a reality, was a Tory of the straightest, old-fashioned sect. His maiden speech in the House was in the debate upon the measure abolishing slavery in the British colonies, and was a defense of the slaveholders against attacks made by radical abolitionists. For nearly twenty years he was one of the slim ing lights of the Conservative party and the foremost lieutenant of Sir Robert Peel, its great leader. Then ho gradually drifted into Liberalism, and, niter being for some time more or less "a free lance, " ho became a ONE'S FE-STORY. member of Lord Palmerston's cabiuet ia 1859? At the death of that statesman he sucoed?d him as leader of the Lib erals in- the House of Commons, and when his party regained office in 1868, aftor Disraeli's firBt government, HAWARDEN CASTLE, THE E Gladstone attained the premiership. He held it for six years, and again from ?880 to 1885, when he declared himself: in favor of the Irish demand for home rule, which up to that time he had Strenuously opposed. The re sult was the secession of a large body of Ins supporters and his defeat at the polls iii 1886-a defeat which the dauntless veteran afterward retrieved. ?A glance at the following chronol ogy wit? show the principal events iii Gladstone's career as a statesman and authors 1809-December 29, born at Liverpool. 1831- Graduated at Oxford. 1832- intered Parliament. 1834-Jnnlor Lord of the Treasury. 1885-Fader Colonial Secretary. -Resigned. 1833- Married. 1839-?Tho Stato In Relation to the Church'.**. 1340-^Church Principles Considered." 1841-$|ce-Prosident of the Board of Trade. :j& 1342^-Bevised tho tariff. 1843-president of the Board of Trade. 1845-^Resigned. -Colonial Socretary. 184G-Resigned. 1847-Advocated freedom for Jew?. 1852-iSJhancellor of the Exchequer; 185b-Resigned. 18 )3-'joni High Commisslonof *' . men Acton in his n-tive city on aopremoerll. -Abolished purchase of army com missions. -Abolished confiscation in penal laws. 1873- Irish university reforms proposed. -Resigned, but resumed power. 1874- Dissolved Parliament. 1876-"Homer Synchronism." 1879- Mid Lothian triumph. -"Gleanings of Past Years." 1880- Primo Minister. 1885- Resigned. 1886- Prlrae Minister. -Irish home rule proposed. -Resigned. 1892- Primo Minister. 1893- Irish home rulo passed Commons; defeated by Lords. But Gladstone, the Eton boy, was as interesting as "the Grand Old Mau." His special and inseparable friend was Arthur Hallam, the subject ! of Tennyson's "Ia Memoriam." The I friendship commenced when Glad I RETIREMENT. stone was in his thirteenth year and was never weakened until death came to loose the silver cord. On July 25, 1889, Mr. Gladstone celebrated his golden wedding. His eighty-first birthday anniversary, in 1890, was made the occasion for the unveiling of a memorial fountain at Hawarden. He carried out another Midlothian campaign in 1892, and was returned at the general election by a small majority. In August he became Premier for the fourth time. There had been many rumors of Gladstone's retirement, but when it came few were prepared for it. His last speech as Prime Minister was made in the House of Commons on March 1, 1894, and was a memoriable protest against the jurisdiction of the House of Lords. Thus Mr. Gladstone closed his pub lic life in an attack upon the House of Lords, against Avhich he fought many a battle before. Few of his auditors seemed to realize that this was to be bis last utterance in the assembly, plain as his words were. Many a mau would havfl been pathetic, tragic, perhaps, at such *a point in hie career, "It is well understood," says Juatin McCarthy, "that Mr. Gladstone, on his retirement from public lifo, re ceived from the sovereign the offer of an earldom, with, of course, a seat in the House of Lords. Mr. Gladstone gratefully and gracefully declined the title and the position. He had already made a name which no earldom or dukedom or any other rank could have enhanced." Mr. Gladstone, in 1838, married Catharine, daughter of Sir Stephen Eichard Glynne, of Hawarden Castle, Flintshire, a descendant of Sarjeant Glynne, who was Lord Chief Justice in Cromwell's time. Mr. and Mrs. Gladstone have had eight children, seven of whom survive-four sons and three daughters. Tho eldest son, Mr. [OME OF THE GLADSTONES. W. H. Gladstone, was elected M. P. for East Worcestershire, having pre viously represented Whitby in Par liament; the second son, Rev. Stephen Edward Gladstone, became rector of Hawarden; the third son, Henry Neville Gladstone, keeps up the com mercial reputation of the Gladstone family, and the youngest son, Herbert John Gladstone, was elected member for Leeds. Two of Mr. Gladstone's daughters married clergymen. Agnes, the eldest, became the wife of the Rev. E. C. Wickham, M. A., head master of Wellington College. Mary married the Rev. Henry Drew. She prac tically lives at Hawarden Castle with her husband and little daughter Dorothy. Little Dossie, as her family MRS. GLADSTONE AND DOROTHY, MR. GLAD STONE'S FAVORITE GRANDCHILD. calls her, is a little more than five years old. Miss Helen-the youngest daughter -was the pet of her illustrious father, and for several years had devoted al most all her entire time to him. On his retirement she resigned her posi tion as vice principal of Newnham College so she would be able to devote herself to him. The last years of Gladstone's life were passed at Hawarden Castle, the property of his wife, which is practi cally in the gateway to Wales. The residence is on the hills overlooking the valley of the beautiful Dee, six miles east of Chester, in a picturesque park of 700 acres. And there ne lived, surrounded by four sons, three daugh ters and seven grandchildren, who loved him with intense devotion. The London News prints a descrip tion given by a friend of the family who visited the death chamber in Hawarden Castle from which the fol lowing extracts are given: "I walked to the side of the narrow little iron bed, whose head was sur rounded by a simple screen of black with a pattern of gold. This back ground was in sharp contrast with the snow-white bed linen which partially covered all that remained of the great statesman. If this was the chamber of death it was also the abode of peace. The figure upon which I looked down might have been some beautiful statue of grayish-white marble recumbent upon a tombstone. Yet stern the features still are, severely aquiline the nose, tight drawn the lips. It was in death the face of some great leader of men, a mortal hero whose earthly pilgrimage had ever been over the most arduous and rugged paths; though dumb, it still seems to say, 'I have striven. I have done my duty.' "The closed eyes and hands clasped tight within each other were truly the attitude of one who had gone to sleep fervently praying to his God, and hf had done so. Those hands folded upon the sheet seemed exquisite bits MISS HELEN GLADSTONE. of carving by a sculptor's chisel. The noble forehead, so deep bitten with furrows, wrought by care of empire, by a ceaseless combat for good, was now almost smooth and serene. The majestic form has shrank, but until it finally crumbles into dust it can never lose that lofty iniperator cast which all knew so well when it was full of life and vigor. "I turn away with profound venera tion and dim, unutterable wonder at the mystery of it all. Not a sound from the world without; only this rigid, praying, exquisitely sculptured piece of clay, which not so long ago moved Senates, multitudes, wi ole nations by its fervor, its eloquence and its great purpose." LEND A HELPING HAND. now Girls Maj Alaka Themselves Very Uscfnl to Our Brav? Defender!. The Eed Cross Associatior has is sued an appeal to the women of th? United States for 10,000 emergency bags to be sent to the soldiers and sail ors now on duty and to volunteers. In answer to the many requests for suggestions for "emergency bags," housewives, the sailor's "ditty bag" and the contents thereof; two patterns ire given hy the New York Tribune which are almost equally convenient. No. 1 has an oval or round flat bottom of leather or covered cardboard, about the size of a large egg. It is made, as: the sketch shows, of two thicknesses, and serves as a needle-book, pin cushion and scissors case, the sides be ing kept closed with a button and an elastic hook. The under side is made like a flat pincushion, and is furnished with large pins. Nest comes a flannel leaf for needles, darning neeules and safety pins. The flat pincushion might also, without taking up any more room, include an envelope or pocket for court plaster. The upper side of the bottom SOLDIER'S "HOUSEWIFE." _ of the bag has a small pair of scissors held in place by an elastic band, a steel punch which is valuable foi mak ing extra holes in leather straps and mending and a pair of tweezers. The bag part is made of red silk and should be marked with the name of the owner, and has a doubled ribbon as a draw- . string. It should contain two spools | of coarse thread, bone and tin buttons. ! two pairs of shoe laces and two cards of darning cotton. The same bag is | large enough to hold bottles, each of which should have its own soft flannel case ' linse roll it piece v. tic ?TC izi?ht .uBuo osj kim li they will not cut, leaving the tube on-.-quarter open. Place within two I spools of coarse cotton, one black and ! one white, with a piece of wax be tween tht in, and through the three articles thrust a short knitting needle, each encl of which is firmly fastened with a pincushion, which fills up the holes at the ends. The spools are i now safe and cannot be lost, and the wax, without which, they say, a man . SAILOR'S WALLET "HOUSEWIFE." cannot sew, on account of tangling his thread, 'handy." The tin tube is then covered with the strong linen which forms the wallet; this is turned under the edge of the tin and glued and the points are sewed to the pin cushions. The rest of the wallet has 1 pockets, needle-book, etc., and con tains about the same articles as the bag._ The Tallest MlUtlaman. New York and the Bay State feel a joint interest in First Sergeant Valen tine E. Gilson, who goes to fight Spaniards with the Charlestown (Mass.) City Guards. Gilson was formerly employed by Harper Broth ers, in New York City, and is the I GIGANTIC SERGEANT VALENTINE. tallest militiaman yet reported. He stands six feet and eight inches in height, and is built in proportion. When he advances Spain may as well move on. He has a brother six feet four inches tall in the same company. Gulf Stream's Speed. Three miles an hour is about the average speed of the Gulf Stream. At certain places, however, it attains a speed of fifty-one miles an hour, the rapidity of the current giving the -nr face, when the sun is shining, th'? ap pearance of a sheet of fire. yvritiM int 'JAT wr/iti, I. .Zi. . r .*hen the day comes ?'nth thunder of the drums, And blowing of tbe bugles, we shall be No craven band Oa crimsoned sea 01 land, To heroes tracing our high ancestry, And, under God, On glorious sea and sod, Cleaving a path of freedom tor the free! rr. When the day comes Either rejoicing drums, And victor-flags above the ranks to wave, Or, where the dust gleams red With blood for Freedom shed, The glory of the dying of the brave! . Life fer the land to give- ' For Freedom still to live, Or her loved smile to light us to the grave! HUMOR OF THE DAY. ! "Papa?" "Well?" "How tall is the man who is above criticism?" Judge. 1 'Do yon think that stimulants wonld hurt me, doctor?" "Not if you leave them alone. " -JDetroit Free Press. Jack-"I wan? to marry my op posite." Maud-,4I don't know of any girl bright enough to suit you."'' Judge. "Baffled! ' muttered the great de tective. He threw his wife's dress to the floor and strode gloomily from the room, "v-Judge. Foreman of Torrent Engine Com pany (gazing at the sniok.. ? rains, but speaking cheerfully)-"Well, boys, we saved the engine!"-Pack She-"Love is like sea-sickness." . He-"Why?" She-"Because you oan have it awfully and yet can't de scribe it."-Detroit Free Press. Jasper "They say that Hustler made a fortune in the Klondike." Jumpuppe-r-"Yes; he carried fools up there and carried wise men back." Puck. Mrs. B.-"The ladyDabbs is going to marry is highly intellectual. She speaks three languages." Mr. B. (condolingly)-"Poor Dabbs. "-Bos ton Traveler. "Pa's got a nawful temper," said Jamie. "I tried t' sand-paper my pencil or. his chin while he was takin' a nap, an' he woke up an' got real mad about it."-Judge. A Quaker once, hearing a person tell how much he felt for a friend who : needed assistance, drily observed: "Friend, hast thou felt in thy pocket for him?"-Tit-Bits. "Ain't I little bow-legged?" asked the dubious young man. "Bow legged?" said his tailor. "The idea! Your lower limbs, sir, are absolutely without a parallel."-Indianapolis Journal. "Well," said the adjuster as he set down his valise, "I investigated that . "Ho'? . . ?ney, ^;..?u.uu't care to interrapt him at his devotions. " -Koxbury Gazette. "My son wants me to buy him a trolley line, and I think he would make a lawyer. In the one case he would cut people up, and in the other merely pull their legs. What would you sug gest?" "I'd make a doctor ont of him. Then he can do both."-Puck. High-Priced Doctor-"You are now convalescent and all you n^i is exer cise. You should walk ten, twenty, thirty miles a day, sir; but your walk ing should have an object." Patient j-"All right doctor. I'll travel around trying to borrow enough to pay your bill."-Standard. He (wondering if that Williams has ever been accepted)-"Are both your rings heirlooms?" She (concealing the hand)-"Oh, dear, yes! One has been in the family since the time of Alfred, but the otL":r is ne?ver and (blushing) only dates from the con quest."-Harlem Life. i Mistress-"Why, Bridget, you sure ly don't consider these windows washed?" Bridget-"Sure, I washed 'em nicely on the inside, mum, so yo can look out; but I intentionally lift thim a little dirty on the outside so thim aignorant Jones children nixt door couldn't look in."-Truih. Di?guss-"Old man, you've accom modated me a great many times, and I wouldn't,strike you now if it wasn't a matter of absolute need. I'm suf fering fer the lack of $10." Shadbolt (reluctantly handing it over)-"What's the trouble, Dingnss?" Dinguss "My wife has got her heart set on a '98 wheel, and I need the $10 to make the first payment on it."-Chicago i Tribune. I He (desperately)-"Tell me the truth. Is it not my poverty that stands between us?" She (sadly)-"Y-e-s." He (with a ray of hope)-"I admit that I am poor, and so, unfortunately, is my father; but I have an aged uncle who is very rich, and a bachelor. Ho is an invalid and cannot long survive. " She-"How kind and thoughtful you are! Will you introduce me to him?" - -New York Weekly. - I A Pupil's Impudent Impromptu. In tr public school of Olympia, Wash., where pupils are asked occa sionally for impromptu poetical reci tations, one reluctant boy recently ordered to show his ability at rhym ing for the benefit of the School Board's visitors astounded all pres ent, and secured punishment for him* self later by declaiming: God, Ol God, supreme on high, Look down on this committee, Who chose such fools to teach our schools In this our capital city. - "? Repartee by John Wesley. John Wesley, the father of Method ism, was brought before the mayor at a certain town, charged with having wrought disturbance by stree! preach ing. "You ought to have known," said the mayor, "that this sort of thing is not permitted by the mob." "Pardon," said Wesley, "but I wasn't even aware that this town of yours was governed by a mob." A Dutiful Son's Advertisement. A dutiful German son advertises in the Leipzig Tageblatt: "Marriage-I seek for my father, a strictly respecta ble man with a quiet business, an elderly, solitary widow or maiden with some yroperty in cash. Address with a statement of conditions,