Horry news. (Conwayboro, S.C.) 1869-1877, February 12, 1876, Image 1
THE HOIUIY NEWS, |
l'Ul)L18UKll> I
llvei'V Saturday Ifloruins
T W. DEATY, Editor.
TISHMS:
Onk Ybar, $2.00
Six Months, $1.00
\ll.commiiuIcittions tfiullue *onerve
|trlvuih liili'rcHt, will bu I'liurytMl lor its
llllVbi'tiNVIIIilllllt.
THE KINGS.
JIV KDO VK A. I'OK A NO C'AKI. IUIKNTSee
the swindlers with their rings,
Whisky rings!
What a world of slush their nice inunipulatiou
brings!
How they swindle, swindle, swindle;
As so silently tliey steal!
While the whisky taxes dwindle,
Ami the > t opic's angers kindle,
As to justice tboy iy>i>cal;
Telling Grant
. An example's what tlmy want,
,And They fain would put an end to all the
wickedness that smimrs
? 4 "OFrom
the lings,
.Fioiu the swindling and the stealing of tl?c
rings.
Hear the chinking ?vf the ring,
Golden lings!
(Oli, what pockcLdiill ol money their .manipulation
brings!
J low each swindler pufTs And swells,
As his future he foretells,
And each bloated rascal gloats
O'er his swag,
Ml tho pockets (if their coats
.SLitled with bonds aud coupons and with
greenback notes,
Like a hag/
Oh, as rich as any king
Js the happy man \\jf? join* a whisky Hug!
J low lie lliiigs,
As vain tilings,
Cosh and what the money brings,
While lie jiubilantly sings
Of the richness and the rareness
Of the rings,
Of the greatness and the glory of the rings!
Mark tlx; vengencc on the ifnngs,
Whisky rings!
What talc of.terror, now, the cxjgoucy brings!
Ilow the frightened wretches slide,
And in vain Lliey try ito hiihfj
T<h> much horrified to sjieairv..
They can only shriek and shriek,
()nt of tune;
(Clothed with cursing as with garments, for
their wrath must find a vent;
/Carli one Ihrcafning, in his fury, those alaint
the President:
Pleading guilty, guMt.x, guilty,
"Wishing that his hlood wsus spilt, lie
Sees his fate and tries to face it.
Knowing nothig can erase it,
Put it comes, and comes right soon.,
Oh, the .rings!
What a hue their capture brings
Of despair!
AUTOMATON WHIST.
A 'Wonderful Machine?So mot Id 11 f that
Haiviitm Ought to Have.
[.Harper's Weekly.J
Notwithstanding all the prominent
{figures around whom duster the political
and religious excitement of tho
day, London is large and various
.enough to bestow a good deal of interest
upon "Psycho." This individual
has been introduced to tho public
by the famous conjurer Mr. Masilvelyne,
which a purson oi levity
might take as explaining the masculine
gender in which Psycho is .made
to appear be hue the community.
Maskclyne is the man who confronts
the spiritualists .in the same way that
X the soothsayers confronted Moses: all
? 7
' that they do lie does, or even tops
them. Hut with his automaton whistplayer
"Psycho" lie has fairly staggered
spirit ual and unspiritual alike,
and the Loudon 7'iraes has felt compelled
to describe the exhibition, and
declare that all the pmysles ever put
forth by Itobort Uoudiu and others
have been eclipsed by this mysterious
Jiguro. Those who have read ifidgar
A. Poe's os ay on Alackr-el's chess,
player, which a hundred years ago
so engaged the attention ol scientific
men, may imagine that they bave a
clue that would lead ihein to the He- ,cret
of "Psycho." Put the presence
.of any human individual in this auto/
lnatnn, or near enougli to affect it mo.chatiieally,
is quite out of the qaestion.
No one over twelve inches high
.could be possibly concealed about it,
and even so diminutive a creature as
that could not fail to he discovered
amidst tlu; mechanism, whose inspection,
while the nutoinatom is at work,
is lreoly open to any one who chooses
tto come on the stage?a privilege of .
which spectators have no hesitation in
availing themselves. Jt is the ver.diot
of the public, ami so slated by
the London 'J\mc8y that not onjy is
the presence .of any human being in
ihe machine impossible, but that it is
also perfectly isolated. If is seated
in the middle of the stage, amidst a
) number of uersons hovond mim/mirm
* j - r? ;"*
.of being confederates, who are permit,,
ted to walk around it and examine ii
at every paint, it in certain that no
telegraphic wire connects the figure
with anything; and to act aside the
possibility of a connection of that
kind .through the floor, the figure iu
isolated by being set on a hollow ey- <
Jinder of perfectly clear glass two feet
high. This glass tube, open at both
ends, is handed around to be handled i
by the spectators, who may test its <
transparency, its singleness; and after i
the figure ts set on top of it?so raised i
several leet above the floor?any one <
VOL. 8. CONWA
is allowed lo crouch beneath and observe,
while the figure is preforming,
that nothing, however fin all, passes
from the floor to the figure. As to
all the points mentioned there is complete
certainty. And now as to the
motions and performances of this little
figure. The speel ators are invited
to proposo numbers, which are called
out from the audience. One man
calls out twenty-one, another fiftythree.
Mr. Maskelyue invites any one
who thinks either may have been
called out by a confederate to change
them, Various amendments are, proposed,
and finally the numbers proceed
from well-known persons, as eighteen
and forty-seven. Mr. Maskelyue,
standing several yards from the figure,
calls upon it to bring out those numbers,
and they appear on a little glass
befoie it; then lie calls on Psycho to
multiply them together, and the eight
hundred and forty-six, or whosoever
result the announced multiples may
require, invariably appears. Persons
from the audicuce then draw cards
from a pack held in Maskelyne's hand;
Psycho is questioned about them, and
tells what each card so retained in
any part of the room is; and then finally
comes the game of whist. The
audience select three players, Psycho
being the fourth. The deal is cut for.
Psycho's cards are placed in thirteen
receptacles around luiu, tho backs <>l
tho cards being toward Mr. Maskciync.
1 have just had tho houot ot
playing against him, and though our
side won, i am bound to my that it
was because l'sycbo had a miserable
hand, and his partner not much beater.
Winning, however, is not ot the slightest
importance in considering the au
touiaton. Psycho played with ported
accuracy., and never tailed to
show a proper judgment as to the
probabilities implied by eacli cast ot
a card on our table, which was lour
or five yards lrom him.
I examined the machinery in the
little box on which Psycho sits, t>y
aid of a little lamp, applied so as to
cast light through and through the
clock like wheels* I watched the glass
cylinder, as the game proceeded, tar
.luorcthan my own cards, to be certain
that no wire shot up through it
or down. W hen Psycho's turn came,
the machine broke silence, and by
apparently self originated motion the
arm moved round until the band came
just, above the right card; in: that
card it descended, closed on it with
forefinger and thumb, and raised it
above bis bead so thai all might Hee
it.
It being certain tli.it sell originated
motion and the combinations necessary
to correct whistplaying must be
tho result ot' human intelligence, and
that intelligence being certainly not
in or directly connected with the automaton,
the only question that requires
to be solved is, how is tho machine
connected with its director,
seated behind the curtain ? In thi?
ease, one must dismiss the mere incidental
marvels, such as the old triek
ol naming the cards winch a Hpuclator
lian drawn Irom a market ami manipulated
pack. Also, there is no dilliculiy
iu a player behind the scenes
knowing the cauls he has to follow,
since Mi. Maskelyne announces thorn
as they are played; and even if this
were stopped, he could wrap up the
information iu his running tire ol
jokes; nay he might -naturally plead
that IVycho, like any other mau. re
quired that much information.
The idea, then, that Psycho in an
automaton at all, except oil the
lluxleynn hypothesis that man in a
conscious automaton, must be dismissed.
It would he easy, without
question, to interfere with the performance
for a time by turni ng the figure
with its hack to the audience, and so
turning the faces of the cards away
from the stage curtain. But thereby
that only would he rendered certain
which is already certain?that the
whist player is not automatic, the alternative
being that suggested by Maskelyne,
that the spirit of Katie King,
in a highly immaterial condition, is at
work in the glass cylinder. The
problem is solely that already mentioned.
What is ilie method ot connection
between a sma llpuppet acting intelligently,
isolated from the floor, and
from all surroundings, so far as scores
of '.he most careful observers can ascertain
? The i?n'/ /!<? hn? iiicrnakocl in I
mystery since Psycho was recently removed
from his ordinary environment
and taken all the way to Sandriugham,
where his woudertul performances
wore conducted with uniform success
in a drawing room for the amusement
of the Prince and Princess of Wales
and their guests.
When I went to see Psycho the second
time, :t was with a satisfactory
assurance that I knew his secret. The
great care which Maskclyue had taken
to prove the complete isolation, so far
as electrical force was concerned, of
his automaton, by setting it on a high
cylinder ol clear glass, seemed to show
that he was assuming an ignorance in
his auditory to which 1 felt myself an
exception. Glass is a non conductor
wnly m the same sense that air is, but
neithef can obstruct the action of one
magnet upon another. If I bring an '
idectro-niagiiet into the neighbor.
-A.il lucle pei
lY HOllO, S. 0., SA.TU
hood of a ship's compass, 1 am not i
prevented from defecting the needle |
Irom its northward pointing by j
the fact that the two needles are
incased in glass, or that a yard or
more ol atmosphere js between them.
Clearly, then, it a powerful electromagnet
were fixed in the floor beneath \
Psycho, and connected hy wiles an
operator behind the scenes, it would
command the movements ol a corresponding
electro magnet in Psycho's
machinery. JSo 1 took with me a small
pocket-compass. So certain did I f? el
that this must be the solution of the
mystery that I even made carol ul arrangements
to apply the test in such
a way an nol to expose the com lire's
secret. Having ascertained the exact,
north point ot the room, so that 1
could judge ot any akeraiiou that
might take place when the magnet
was hi ought close to the machine, I
managed to get my card into Maskelyne's
hand, asking it he had any objection
to my applying a small magnet
to the figure while it was working,
and promising that it should be done
secretly, Ot course he would nut notice
my card, or, it" he did, he would
say there was no time, or be would be
glad to see me after the performance,
etc., all of \s liich would be confession.
Put instead of that, the conjurer, without
a moment's hesitation, proclaimed
from the stage; "A gentleman pres..
cut wishes to know if 1 have any objection
to Ins applying a magnet to
Psycho while be is working. Not the
least. The gentleman will please step
to the stage." I did so, and, while
the automaton was at work, applied
the needle to every part ot It. The
needle was uul agitated at all ? did
not bend from its northward point in
the least, no matter where I placed it.
Psycho's triumph was emphasized by
his master remarking, "I think this is
the second lime this gentleman has
1.1-- . ?r * *
iiiiin/A-ii in*.- periormaiices ot 1'sycho;"
to which i bowed, and a cheer
was given lor Psycho.
Since .this incident the automation
ha*; been visited by a number id scientific
men, among them Mr. Spotliswoode
and Professor Clifford. The
latter ? 1 Votessor ot Applied Mathematics
in University College?enjoys
a special reputation for ability to discover
conjurers* tricks, lie has found
out hitherto every important trick by
which Loudon jugglers have puzzled
their spectators, and altough he holds
it, a matter of honor to expose only
those, which pretended to he the work
of spirits, lie oil en repeats the tricks in
drawing rooms for the amusement <>
his friends. 1'releasor Clillbrd once
announced to a company of his scientific
friends thai he had lound that mediums
moved tables by a certain <4?!ykiek,'
but he now admits that he cannot
discover the Psycho force. It is indeed,
agreed on all hands that Maskelyue
has brought before this community
the most complete and ingenious
,1 i. t
piUV'IU H 1H1 WillCM CApCTlS IIUVC ever
had to deal.
The very physical construction of
Psycho is a work of consummate art.
The richly tilrbailed head, shiny chocolate
face, and prominent glass eyes
present a remarkable semblance ui humanity,
and there is even an expression
ol grave and intense thought.
Psycho shakes hands solemnly with
each player when the game is ended,
and the expression on the laces of the
spectators is one ol complete mystification,
It is quite idle for the spiii'nalists
to proceed with their tricks
while .London conjurers perform
more extraordinary ones in clear light,
submitting them to every conceivable
test' I have only mentioned one
among dozens that defy all efiorts at
discovering their secret. I have occasionally
attended the seances of eminent
mediums lor tiear twenty years,
hut all the "phenomena" J have sewn
in that time put together have not.
equaled in unaccountableness what
may be any day seen past the
Sphinxes ol Piccadilly lor a lew shil.
lings.
Incidentally the little turn I had at
whist with Psycho on my first visit
brought me a droll exprimiieo ol the
habit of .the average Ktiglish mind.
When I descended from the stage to
resume my seat, having lor that purpose
to pass fifty of sixty persons, every
eye I met said plainly enough,
though silently, "Don't think to cheat
me; you are a confederate." Alter I
was seated for a little amidst the cold
atmosphere of suspicion, I resolved to
try what effort a theory would have;
ko I whispered to two of my neighbors,
"May it not be possible that
there is a wire, so tine as to bo invisible,
ascending from Psycho's turban to
the colling?" This suggestion was
absurd (on my second visit I passed
my band over the turban,) but it was
the first that popped into my head,
and it at once thawed t he freezing glances
of suspicion. It flashed along the
lines of seats, and long before it had
reached the unreserved had become a
dear alii rotation that I had observed
a telegraph wire connected with Psycho,
No doubt the version which circulated
in tho gallery was that I bad
detected a wire-worker with battery
and mirror before liiin seated over the
stage. The fact however, that in tho 1
+
~T~ "?~
idont .1 ournal.
IID.VY, FEBLIUARY
perfoimanoo wo hud witnessed, u confederate
Could not Iulvo been of the
slightest importance, that he could
only have disclosed what cards he
held, which it was of no importance to
know until they were played -- and
then Maskclyue proclaimed them?did
not appear to strike a single person
who spoko to me. They were sure
there was a con federate. Th unanimity
with which spectators <d such
tricks try to explain everything by
the "ootilederaud' theory, even when
it is totally inapplicable by the very
nature of the oiled, must often he ol
great assistance to a juggler, in spiritrapping
circles there is a similar convent
iohalny, and many 111 the seance
think that it they have only made sure
that the medium has mo cohtcderute
present; all other mailers 111 iv be regarded
as bona lide. The only eon
teueraies ot rsycho arc his human
bruin behind the scenes, and a mysterious
Somewhat?emit;tt11? < 1 j?i*??I>-il?ly
in a litt.li' llat circular pedestal at tin*
bottom ot ina glas< pedestal. which
Masked y in* will not alio a' to be dispensed
wit It?but l be nature ot that
Somewhat 1 venture, in the name ot
nonplused London, to submit hs a problem
to American aeuineu.
A. Vankic?.
Saving Mkat.? Mr. II. ?1. Corbell,
Hit experienced tanner, writes recently
to the Raleigh S< trlhwl an article concerning
"saving his bacon." He Hays:
"I would not advise tbe killing ol
pork in warm weather, bnt as it, frequently
turns Huddcnly warm alter it
is killed, the question isr what is to by
done to keep it Ironi spoiling. In
clear, cold weather any one, no matter
how careless, will have no trouble. It
is only in warm, damp weather that n
requiiH care and judgment. I will
suppose 1 have just finished killing my
hogs, and it has suddenly turned
warm. Let tlieiu hung on tho gallows
all night. Then commence cutting
out and :im you do ho lay the meat in
the shade on the ground; this will ? x
tract .the animal heat of it. l)o not
commence cutting until after night.
2*111 an even tnblcspoonful of finely
pulverized saltpeter to each ham or
shoulder. In tlfuty-six. hours break it
up, and lay it out oil the ground again
and let it remain there two or ilnoe
hours to cool, and tliou resalt it. This
operation must be performe<l m the
night, if in the day lime you will exj)ose
it to ft warmer atmosphere than
exists in the bulk, and will run a great
risk of losing the whole of it. This
has been a very common and fatal
error. Let it remain in salt 10 days,
break it up and wash it clean with
warm water, and before it diies in >k *
the "flesh side black with finely sidled
black pepper to prevent the flies; (red
pepper does no good.) llang it up in
the smoke-house; give it lime to drip,
say 2 or 3 days, and t.L? n smoke it
with hickory wood. This should be
done in clear and cold weather, never
411 r.uny, tlamp weather; it will lake
smoke better, ami besides il will
be more sightly. Use brnvu sugar
freely in the salt for funis
and shoulders. To bid defiance to the
flies, make a paste of cornfield peas,
strain it thought a sitter and with a
knife spread it smoothly over the flesh
side; this should lie done after you
have finished smocking it; then hang
it up. For'10 years I have put up my
bacon in this way and never lost, a
joint. My great aim has always been
to cure my bacon without having it
too salty. A man that leaves the
tails to his hams cannot euro good
bacon; he has not the paiienec to go
through with the trouble that is absolutely
necessary.
Women ami others.
The Saturday Jlevieio, in the course
of an eloquent article under the above
caption, remarks that women are apt
to imuttnur at their lot as one without
influence, variety., stirring purpose or
space for action; hut that it is, on the
contrary, a lot full ol dignity and importance
if properly regarded and
fitly undertaken. If they do not load
armies, they make the characters of
ineu who load an<l are |yd. It they
are not state ministers or parliamentary
orators, they raise by their noblelions
or degrade by their want of delieacy
or refinement the souls and
minds of men who are. If they are
not in the throng and press of aotiyc
life, they can cheor on to high aims or
basely reward the baser methods ol
s *
9
/" ? l
V V
; ? J|
12, 1876. NO, 7
I II I I I ! II mm ! ! I II !_! I I I \9
existence.
As iuoIIu ik tliov arc urtiliccrs
who g?vo the initial touch that
lusts tor life, and as women they complete)
what the mother began. Society
in molded mainly by thorn, and they
bring up their daughter* upon their
pattern. It is surely weak and silly
! then to blame society for its ignoble
j e>
tone, or the young for their disorders.
All men want the correcting influence'
ot social opinion, and it is oiiic!lv wo*
I men who create that opinion. Votii.li,
1 too, will he over disorderly it it gels
| the cli a nee, and the rao has not vet
been born that carries old beads on
young shoulders. It i> lor the, mothers
to supplement bv tln ir own wisdom
the gups left by the incxporu nc.<
and ignorance of youth; it is lor moth- |
j 0.1*8 to guide aright the stops that are
i apt, without thai guidance, to run as
tray, and to gu ml against passions,
; emotions, desires, winch, it lelt to
( theiUKelves, bring only disaster, hut
which, gu.udc:! and directed, may he
turned to the heal ol ends. For ourselves
we ivgri l to see the rapid cx|
tiiiotion of motherhood in its best
soiinc, and decline to accept the modern
loosediatid-d chaperon as its
worthy suhstitute. We repudiate the
plea o( the insubordination of the
young, as oil en put forward in the
defence ol the new state ol tilings, lor
... ,
it's simply nonsense. The young are
what the mothers in ike them, just as
' society is what the matrons allow it I
I to he ! ami iI nil?l In ! *? < I ! I i li<?5 ,1I
. r**
we should hear no imtio ol tilo wilful- '
nesa of t ho oho or the shameless v:i- j
- garies of the other. The remedy for j
each lies in their own hands only.
Teaching Children Courage*
- Courage is a vital element ol Christian
chivalry. Without it, indeed, j
neither truth nor fidelity to promise
can he honed for. The coward is sure
to retrofct from his engagements when
they involve peril. We need valiant
souls that have learned to endure ai.d
noorn pain, and to lace danger fear- ;
kssly and promptly when duty re i
quires. Some parents evade this vital
part of training hy glosses and de- j
ception. A mother who has taken her
boy Lo the dentist's to grt a tooth out
will oi.teu say, if ho is shrinking "Sit j
still my hoy, it won't hurt you. Now !
j she knows it will hurt him, hut thinks
if she can ouJy get him hy this device '
to sit still and let the dentist get hold
of the tooth, then his discovery of the |
! pain will not hinder its extraction.
This is a double mistake. It destroys
her boy's confidence in 1 erj lor lie detects
her in a lie. And, though it gets
the boy to sit still, it is under the j
delusion that there is to he no pain,
whereas lie should be taught to lae.o !
the pain and to scorn it. Tins makes
the dilleronce between the cowards
and heroes. A regiment ol poltroons
could inarch tip to a battery as cheer- i
ully as a regiment ol heroes, il they j
thought there was no enemy at tin?
guns. The ditlerenoo is that heroes
know the danger and yet lace it val
iantly.
(*ooi> Mkn VVanthd.- -Tiie country
has lallen into a most unlortuuate
condition us regards our public ollie.es,
says the New York /c; Iyer. Frauds
have become so couiiiion as apparently
to be no longer the exception, but the
rule. The consequence is, that toe
mere holding ol public otliee has come 1
| 10 m? regained as a ground ol Mi*pi,
con, and good men are unwilling to 1
I accept any appointment on account ol
tIn* odium to which it subjects them, i
Thus when iho important office of
commissioner ol Indian all'aiis hecauie
vacant recently, it was found almost
impossible to till it by any tit man.
'j'his is very unfortunate for public
interests. Bad ami incompetent men
j stand ready, by the hundred, to rush
into every vacant place; but they only
. tend to degrade office lower ami 1
lower. It will be well for the country
if, in some way, the higher stand- ;
lard of the olden time can be restored,
' and the very best men in the land 1 1
' shall once more esteem it an honor to 1
I till its public places.
Going Kisiiino.?A clergyman of a
j village church desired 10 give notice
| that there would be no service In the
afternoon, aw l?o was going to officiate
for another clergyman. The clerk, as
Boon as the Benuon was finished, rose
up with all due solemnity and cried
out; UI am requested to give notice
that there will be no service this afternoon,
as Mr. L. is going fishing with
another clergy muu."
V !) V K ItT 18E M E \Tf?
Insetted :ii *1.00 per square fi>. first,
IV cents fir .? << ', subsequent lliM.Uoll. n>#
V> ip inch spce wiil constitute a squaw
ivhcth* i:* lw<!vli'r or display type: Ins.*
m in ! ' < i.a cod for ;u a v| ,-uti.
i 111 i*i i ;e iu-cm f5 fruo.
I '? it fi iu<1 KnMHi'al notices free.
I . 'icioo.s notices ol otic square f c.
A llbo, \l discount will fx* made to those
bo^o a'wrtismuonr. ,are to lx: kept ill fo
Pit in >? 'Hs ?o louder.
,
\n 11.price's li auvnouk.?-W tup pork
speech wuk very much modified and
improved a* it appeared in the Journal
ol iin* iio im' and in tho various newspHpeiv
Where tiio papers report.
Whipperas speaking of "that bourne
fiotn "which no Itadioale'er returns
"the won! 1 l?e Jmlge really used lL'
word "Hell." And where Wnippi*r
said <%l)e\ 11, "tiie reporter maks hiir
speak of "the honorable "gentleman
from iielow." And again, where it lis
reported that he said "the inner
"sanctuary ol the Latkst In ?i<m \
noN ani> Mkkskn<;ku was p .vaded
ijy the doliplittul od ?r ??i i uloniiiu
palueus/'W inpper really sair'ihe
sanctum ol Tut: kws am; Con:n:i
Mmeit of Hell. Such is \V inpper
To knowledge ne adds temperance,
i nd to tenijier.uuM holiness.?-A < m?;
and <'uUi i'cr.
AViium'kk^ o : <?' iiii'i'kp ?--- We liavt
all along point 1 out the iact that tiro
content in this utile between the gooii
and evil elemen in the republican
party was cert ihi to attract the attention
ot the m niotial party leaders,
and that they would be obliged to
take sides for or against the policy Ol
Governor Ch i nhcrlaiu. Wo, have
shown that Sou !i Carolina, controlled
by Whipper, M >e's, & Co., would 'bo
a source ol weakness to the republican
party whio i would be got rid .of
by utterly repudiating it trom part"
fellowship. Tnc response ol the party
organs all over tin* country to the ?is?
sue, as present td by Governor Chamberlain
in bis U? tor to Senator Morton,
has no uncertain tone. The response
Iroin the admin Miration at Washing?
# o
ton is not likely, Iroin present indications,
to be less positive.
Union- Herald
IIaud to I'u >.sounck.?Many years
Since, a nuiiislu', in his tra\els, put vif?
tor the night with a man who was supposed
to posses - but little what people
cat I "coiiiui hi sense.' .lust its .he
w;is about to retire tor rest, the man
said to the inini-tvr:
" lelj me, sir, what three words in
the Knglish lan uiage it is most dillicult
to pronoun <
tkl don't know tltul 1 can,' was tho
reply.
"Well,' said the man, M will give
you till morning to answer me.'
Tim minister iinmjfhl no more ol li e
(incHlion liU it a* proposed to luu.
again in ill"1 moisting, when lie said he
had not tlxnight <>t il.
"Then,' h;11 < 1 lliu :n:in "I will t?fll
you the in^bl J mi mil i word* to pronounce.
'1 ln*y are?1 :uii wrong.'
Tun La\vvkii's 1 kaiuc.?A clay or
two ago, when a young man entered u
Detroit lawyer'* ofliee to study law?
say* the /'V&i /' >*&, the practitioner
sai down beside ii'in and said:
' Now, see here, I have no time to
tool away, and il you don't pun out
well I won't keep you here thirty days.
Do you want l > make a good lawyer?'
"Yes, sir.'
"Well, now, listen. I?e polite to old
people, because '.hey have cash, lie
good to hoys, be auee I hey are grow*
ing to cash basis. Work in with reporters
and get pull's. (.Jo to ehruclt
lor the sake of xauiple. Don't fool
any linrj away on poetry, and don't
even look at a girl until you can plead
a case. If you can lollow these instructions
you will succeed. It you
cannot, go and learn to be a doctor
and kill your bes friends.'
A Shot IVimii a Parrot.
A tew days si ice a very well-breJj
and exceedingly lignitied young lady
of this city enter -d a florists to make t
purchase, when she was accosted a.fi
h/llows by a shr II voice reaetnblia*
that of an aged lady:
"Shut thedoo'; don't you kuov
any better? Its c ?hl outside."
Very much ov rcome with niortificK.tion
and einhar issinent, she look el,
L <
mout lor lim* spe iKff, saying, "I'arJvt*
me, madam, l?ut, die wind blew sfet
could hardly olos the door."
"Well, mind your eye, lilies, ant
don't do it again " repeated tile vjieu
when to her groat astonishment athi
amusement, the you rj; lady disooverel
that she had been oo lversiug with &
well educated and eertai >'v rv taniil.
iar poll-parrot. Evidently a \ toyed
at the bird for receiving her s the
young lady turned her back to th cage
and was intent upon exaininiti * some
tlowors. Suddenly, the sanio v nee, m
what seeinod to he said to her, ' What
t an I do lor you, miss?"
4,ll you hold your tongue I shall he
gratitied above all things," rep! ed the
young miss,turning around as she
spoke, and discovering the lady proptli
tor standing in hor presence.
'J'he denouncement was all that might
be imagined.? Ks.
Mr. Lincoln used to toll in his i?- #?
mutable way a story of a Winchester
(Va.) Confederate who was so overj
>yt)U at receiving his pardon that ka
exclaimed: tThank you, Mr. President.
thank you! Mow I'm pardouel
1 s'pose I'm as good a Union man *< M
any oi you?emphatically ouo of ys??
again, lint didn't Stonewall Jackiiftt
give us h?1 in the valley-?' mm
r