PROHIBITIONIST FROM
/ BALTIMORE HERE j
Col. Marston, once risnown as the
Bad Man irom Baltimore, but now a
leadir.g prohibitionuist from that absorbent
city, lit Friday evening, just
a* the covers were being laid for the
Hillbilly party given by Uncle Jim.
He was not long in "slicking up a-little,"
powdering his nose, perfuming
his hair and eettinjr there to take a'
hand in the game as it is played on
Greenville Street.
Saturday morning, putting pleasure
aside, for business for a season at
least, he made his appearance at the
Emporium and supplied it with
enough of the new, and always best,
rugs which are offered on the market
to go round. He displeased his customer
somewhat, however, and came
near losing one, when he announced
that he had joined the prohibition
. forces of the city where he works
for Boss Stone. His order would
have been smaller had this been
known in advance, and perhaps larger
V* AAMAVMAMAAil moff AVO fllA
IlttU lie VUiuiiiciivcu uiaibciQ nibu vuc>
proper aggravation.
In the afternoon the Colonel took
time to circulate among his friends,
and to tell them a little of himself,
and a good deal of the trip to the
; Old Dominion taken by the Furniture
(ing of North Main during the past
summer. We had heard a good deal
before but not all of it. And as Jenner
Link, Will Calvert and a few
others may get invited off to. buy
furniture, and be given a trip up the
, river in T a boat, Colonel Marston
thinks it well to let people know just
how it effects a green youth from
the country to the end that they may
bring along some of Candler's Spe,
cial.
As told, by Colonel Marston, Furniture
Kerr was very nervous on the
, morning the trip was to be made. He
? was found around behind the ?store
while Marston's boss was givfcig the
latter instructions about going outside
without permission, earnestly
talking to the janitor. It leaked out
afterwards that he was trying to get
a line on "How to Mount a Ship,','
telling the janitor that he was abou'
to take a trip on the muddy water.?
He said he did not like to try to gei
' , in by climbing up a rope, but that
if there were any old apron stringtied
together he hoped to be able tc
make it, as he was used to swinging
on to them, he said. He was not
- to eat much dinner but yrank a goo.-,
deal of water during the day, ar.c'J
had a. bad cough.
At length the time to board the
ship came, and after a good deal of
, jollying while keeping his back to the
rear he was gotten to the; water'*
edge and. started up the gang plank.)
when a sudden movement of the wa-1
ters beneath caused him to run back !
He could not b? persuaded to go on I
again, because he said that he had
seen the same whale which swallowed
Jonah, ant it had winked its left eye
at him. He said he knew it was the
same one from the picture he had
seen in Sergeant Kerr's story bible.
The captain of the boat only persuaded
him to get aboard by swearing
on Marston's prayer-book that he [
had seen .the whale leave for a'tvipi
down the river.
i As soon as he was well aboard and'
the boat had about-faced, he de^i
cided to make a personal inspection!
1 of the boat and get acquainted with
every person on it. He first called
on the lookout-man, inquiring whether
the lookout-man knew who hej
was. Being deal and dumb, the lookout-man
merely took a glance at him
and kept on looking-out. Somewhat-'
angered by this Furniture informed j
him that the speaker was a cousin of;
Percy Miller of New York, adding;
also, "I am a nephew of Uncle Jim:
-Q+orlr r*-f AKKovillfi T T\lOCQ VA11 hflVP !
. ?" . *?*
heard of him." The boat officer not!
seeming to be scared by this declar-j
ation Furniture said that either he,
was crazy or it was evident that he
was not read up on prominent mtrn^i
and that he would send-him a six!
month's subscription to the Press and ;
Banner, hoping that when he nextj
planted his majestic eating apparatus
on boarcf that boat there would be
somebody who had heard somethinr
of the world.
/ From there, leaving in disgust, he i
went down into the engine-roonv of I
the boat, and offered the head sto'rerj
fifteen cents to see the boat's car-1
bureter. He said that the Hnyr.es!
car owned by his uncle Jim had' tho
biggest one he. had even seen an-1 he
believed that the boat on which he
was riding had one just like Uncle
Jim's Haynes. While trying to make
the stoker, who spoke nautical lan
i Opera
ABBEVIL
ONE DA^
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Wondi
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t
guage understand just what he wanted
to know, he was overtaken bj
Colonel Marston, who had lqst him
for something like a half hour. Being
informed that he, was not expected in
these quarters, and that it was
against all boat laws for passengers
to talk to emplpyees, Furniture insisted
on going up to the playground
on the boat. He contended in spite
of Col. Marston's assurances to the
contrary, that there was a playground
on the boat because he said he had
seen the see-saw working and he
thought he would about balance Col.
Marston, if he sat in a little, and
stated that he wanted to 'ride Ihe
see-saw and take in all the rudiments
of boat-riding, as he expected
to explain matters to all the othc*
deacons at the next meeting held in
the Presbyterian church in Abbeville
He thought it would be a good thing,
he said, if a few joggling bear.ls
were put in the playground, and he
feaw no reason why there "should noi
be good rope jumping around anions
the other amusements.
Having landed him in a proper
place and admonished him to stay
there, Colonel Marston went off to
find the hosts of the occasion, * Mr.
and Mrs. Ward Marston, and upon
his return a few minutes later he
iouna rurmture naa again wanuercu
off. This time he found him walkin;:
about the deck looking; toward the
stars, and wfien invited to join the."
at lunch he said he 'was very eicl:
with belly-ache, and did not want any
thing but a Coco-cola and he x just
must have a bottle of that at once.
Coco-cola being an unknown quantiI
ty in that country, the sick man was
finally persuaded to take a gin cocktail,
prepared by <!he prohibitionist,
? 1_ ii s Li i
wnicn v^ry inucn - reiieveu mm- .ne
said, but which was not quite enough
to reach all parts of his' anatomy,
and that he thought it was always a
good idea to repeat a dose of medicine
which did a Sick man good,
which having been repeated, the Furniture
King immediately appeared at
the lunch basket, eating as we are
informed, about two-thirds of all the
good thing's prepared for the occasion.
In fact he ate so much that
the good lady in charge of the lunch
said she would not like to prepare
for him when ,he was well, that is if
he ate any more well than sick.
After smoking a good cigar he laid
his head to rest midst the hum of
the machinery and near the splashing
of the waters. Next morning he
landed and announced that he was
the finest set-back playei\ on Greenville
Street, Abbeville, South Carolina,
and that ho was willing to bef
his furniture store against a bu'l
calf that he could select any 'partner
he wanted to and beat'any twe
non in Virginia, and he said that hi
fv.rrtiture business was the biggest
thing Sam McCuen and Roy Powei
had ever seen, biarger than anything
| Robert Hawthorn saw in the moun
'tains in the summer, and -,as big as
; anything he had even seejo excepl
Uncle Jim's richer, and as big as any
thing else he ever heard of excepl
Johnnie McKec's new automobile fac
lory in Chicago. He ended by beinj
beatcn by the two fourteen year olc
House ]U
IE, S. C. Ill
Y ONLY 1, J
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All Odds The
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The Wizardry of Hi
Gorgeous Pi<
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fin i 0F8CI
srmi Keeis ABSOR
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children who lived in the home with
> sixteen bath-rooms.
1 About the home and everything
' concerning" it, we have already heard,
except that we had not been inform'
ed that, after seeing how Virginia
1 people live, he expressed a determination
to go home and treat his wife
' better.
It only remains to be stated that
at the next Thursday afternoon's
bridge club, Mrs. Marston was the
center of an interested group where
the subject was, The Greenest Man I
Ever Saw. /
1
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(UVUVVVVUNVUV
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V LONG CANE. V
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vvvwvvwuvvus
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? A r . ,
Miss Mary Kay gave a party at her
J-.ome on Thursday ni^ht, Oct. 30, for
he benefit of ^he Memorial Ho?nital.
After many interesting games of
Rook and music, a salad course followed
by cake, was served by Misses
Mary Kay and Nina Beauford. The
1 guests present were: Miss Lila Morrison,
Misses Nina, AUie, Clara and
Viola Beauford and Miss Lucy Palmer,
Messrs'. J. C. Nickles, Jog Beaui
lord, George Morrison, Luther Er;
win. and Allen Palmer, each person
j present paid 25c. and the amount
j that was raised was $4.75.
Misses Linnie and Nina Beauford
gave a party at their home on Wednesday
night, Oct.. 29, 1919, for the
benefit of the Memorial Hospital. After
many interesting games of Rook
ice cream arid cake was served. The
guests that were present were: Misses
Mary, Annie, Louise Kay, Miss Lila
%r ' T? ill T
iviorrrison, miss uessie jjee urwiu,
Missses Eva and Estelle P5nley,
Messrs. George Morrrison, Clarence
and Roy Kay, J. C. Nicldes, Willlie
and Charles. Kellar, Luther Erwin.1
: Each person present paid 25c. and
j the amount raised was $5.75. I
MOTHER GAVE
I1IIS DELICATE
I CHILD m
And He Got WeU and Strong.
That's True
i Monaca, Pa.?'.'Ivly little boy, vr!ic
! is the youngest. of three, " ea!:,
j nervous and tired ui! the he
(i was most unm scnooi, r.r. i noi;iring
seemed to !..!; ? hixn. 1 learned
; of Vinol and him. It has
; restored his health and strength and
he has gained i/: ""eip.ht."?Mrs*.
Frederick Sommers, TJonaca, Pa.
Vinol is t cod livc-r
and ir?:i t u:ecy f r delicate, wcaL,
ailing cliii^.cn. Formula on every
bottle, so ycu I.now v hat you are giv!
ing the:;:. .Children live it.
i
j P. B. SPEED?Druggists Everywhere
'I
rl Engraved cards and wedding invi11
cations at Press and Banner Co.
I
onday
PknfA-Plnv Rvav
jl AAV^v A iv*j ju f yi
jgjgj
irold Bell Wright's FacH<
:ture Qf His Fa:
NIC GRANDEUR u
and
BINS INTERE8T YCU
35 and 55c. (War Tax I
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IF YOU DO NOT t
THE SHEPHERD OF 1
WILL MI8* THE OREATEdT AC
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ncluded.)
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r0r shaving?for bathing?foi
arly-morning use?the Per
)il Heater is the reliable sti
- t- A,
The Perfection brings necu
nomenfs notice?wherever c
ind in the quantity desired
[t is clean, safe, pdrtable, o<
?burns ten hours on a ga
kerosene?is easily filled a
wricked7
Aladdin Security Oil gives the 1
suits. At your dealer's.
STANDARD OIL COM]
(New Jersey) - ./
Washington. ?>. C. BALTIMORE, MD. CI
Norfolk, V?. , , Ch*rl?
Richmond, Va. Cb
H^ymnnwiu
M^ECTIC
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