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* REASON IN MADNESS 1 OF ABBEVILLE'S GIVING t s C Deer edditoral,?this wurld do 11 move and air about hear, or wurds to j r this afeckt. Abvul is dun gone to i s givin things away, i wus up toun the?; r day of the ole soldears reuniting and j i i found that they wus givin way; i plum good lemmernade and begginji you to taik it. next think i knode i' > wus plantin cotan and workin on the j v farm tryin to keep doun the akerage i when hoo would you thinks cums * doun to my house in his ordermore- t bill, his good wun too, and sais to: 1 mee, dote i has came to taiK you up ^ to a big supar. well, that kinder ^ maiks me think a joak is up sum- t where on Dote Smith, but Doctar t Jenifer, it was him, he sais no, we ' air all bruthring in the church and i as we air giving a big dinner tonite * , i has been appinted' as a Kommitty, S that is wfiat he called hiss elf, to cum 3 doun and bring you up. he sais to * , me to go in the house and dress up, E and tell lizzie to doo the saim, and t taik our own times, git fixed rite, and that he wood wate fur us reether pashantly and then drive us up. liz- f zie told me at the time to keep my. I hand on my pocket-book, but i sais t no that docktar Knifer and I is part- e ners in farmin jist now and the dock- c tar knows that if i git out of munny c at this season of the yeer he will be l called inter! the korisultachun, as i yoo lawyars puts it, and i said that * sum uther ketch was in tms xning sum way, as it was contrary to ab- ^ vul to be gittin goo limbered up in the givin bizness at wunst and saim time, but i goes on with the dressin havin put toy pocet book in the tick of the bed as soon as i goes in V ' " % the house. Well to maik a short story of it, lizzie and i was soon drest and to say nothin of how lizzie was lookin, i felt rite proud of Dote Smith wen i lookt in the glass, and i knows . that lizzie thought i was lookin rite ( ? ' too bekase she sed so. well we driv 2 up to the dinner at the dining room, j and thear i found brother Frank A Gary,'brother Jones miliar, and alljfi the good lookin ladies of our church, I t and the^ gave us wun good time. | c Judge Gary find i hooked on to each f uther at wunst and it -was hard fur ^ " 1 1 me to tell wmcn was gium me ucoi g of the dinner mee or him, both of us done so well. < arter a while sumboddy sais sumthin bout a movement and i looked up toards lizzie, and lizzie^ winkt her eye at mee as much as to say ' that lcnode what wus cummin, but jist then brother miliar he taik the floor. :i think he must a-knode what wus in the air tooo, bekos he look rather plus and'say tibiat this air a very plesant sociable gathring, and it wood be a grate pitty to spoil it byj a incerdint which i bleeve he said' was lookin toards sumthin, and he - move that we finish eatin and tell evrie boddie good by, and go hoam in the sweat fellership of a good time and full of fust class vittles, in which i agreed bekos i seckant his' moshun, and <most of the payin mamkaM a# 4-Via lrrvnrvcrfroaVinn aaom to be of a like mind, so the mOshunj-j wus carried without bein pat and the , meetin proeeaded with the eatin, and , i told judge Gaty ernuther joak or ( too, andjjy. that time the thing was j oaver, and docktar Knifer he took j me and lizzie back hoam jist as he ] brought us up. * ( when we got hoam lizzie say that , she believe there will be a foliar up in this think yit, and the expeek | trubble, but i say no, that i think it ; air all konnected with the reel es- j tate bizness which is bein transacted in Abvul lately, and that the ole < toun is waiking and wishes to doo A 3 *1.1. i.1 X A A _ itseii proua, ana wicn tnai i went to bed but lizzie keep up her wunder-1 mind. well by "Sunday i had bout forgot bout the whole matter havin' been 1 cast back on evry day rashuns, and 1 still keepin my mind on the akeragej1 question except on Sunday when ij reed the bible moastly, when hearji cum docktar Knifer back havin gone < and got reinforcemints, which is < Frank nickles of the peeples bank < where we carfy our overdaft. well, 1 i mm blood in their ares as soon asi < they lit. they commengt the conver- 1 v sation in. arery plesant manner to < be tore bat i .saw that thing wot ' IT* duly dm win in. where the patch ? is and how mach i planted, moast of j < which i told them bat not where t the patch is, bekos i has lurned xto t keep that to myself, then they all ? at wunst changed the tub jock and,? ites rite down on the munny quesion. i thinks i will get the dopktar >n the fust round so i says to them, ookin very serious, that i is in entire ecord with the movement which they ipecify, but bein a poar man i has lot the munny to give, and if i give will hafter borrie from him, that would like to give a grate deel and f it wus onlie the fall of the year i vood doo big things, well, there vus where Dote Smith put his foot n it, bekos it seam that they do not . .1 iMI *_11 4.U? vane tne munny uu iau, au wc ???,?.er laugh and say that the movement jave taikin this" matter into the koniiderashan, and that they would not vant my munny till fall and all i had o doo wus to put my naim down for he respective amount oppersite it, vhitch wood he collected in and durn of the fall, nuller boner. Well, i lad dun sed it so i dun it, and i is ?lad of it and so is lfezie, but lizzie ay that she knode all the time that vhen i et so mutch and drank so autch that it wood come back hoam o mee. \ t t right strait along, 1 Dote. >.s. I askt wun of my naburs if enny>oddie at Abvul had ever give lim a seegar, and then gits him anything, and he sed yes that he :ome to Abvul wunst and a frend >f his took him Aoam and give him lis dinar ,and brought him back and n a mule trade and giv? him hell. Dote. ["HE BARBER AND , THE TEACHER r V Strong Plea for t|ie Man Who Can " ?? *? ur:.L d^l._ m&Ke more money tt iui ???*" Than a Teacher Can Make With ' . Brain*. (Spartanburg Journal) To The Editor of The Journal: Prithee Deak'n, a ?ruse to the flublub about the thirteen hundred dolar barber and the six hundred and ihirty dollar Latin teacher?if she rants the barber's pay, why doesn't ihe go and barb? Jump in, the lathsr's fine! Hain't the world safe for lemocracy? If she hadn't ruther each brats for a dog's pay than rub heir scalps with sozodont ' for a ;ent's stipend, would she do it? RTould she, Deak'n?or he? Ayejythe le teacher are scarce ,and getting icarcer?they are, most of them, jone abarbering?and why shouldn't ;hey? If the peepul, Lord bless :hem, prize the barbers, why grudge em the peepul's prizes? The she teachers and the he teachin, too, are afraid of barbering? ifraid that little Johnny-Two-by?\>ur, a great grandson, will about L992 turn up his nose at Jennie Paint-Me-Pink because she is the ^ j j J vi? ~ ?Teat grauu-uauguLci. ui a uai Sure ,the barbers should be paid landsomely-J-you wouldn't be a bar5er, a valet, a scullion, or a cooklady, even if you were competent Jo lold the job, for less than a thousand lollars a week?you prefer an "in;ellectual pursuit," regardless of the rage, so that you may look down on somebody with a thousand, a week? jrou could soon retire to live down pour past. Yet it took a full hunired years in England to make your [ob semi-respectable, when Daniel Defoe took it up, and he spent half lis time in jail. And another hunired before the editors began to make the *obs stand at attention. Fust a little while ago a sturdy old D&ckguard and bully-be-damn of a Scottish knight said, so a Scottish poet said, "Thanks to St. Bothwell, son of mine Save Gawain, ne'er could pen a line." Are reading and writing any good except as aids to arithmethic?to interest and discount? No free gentleman knows Latin. The Socialists are all wrong, but in this they are right?that 6ne kind }f honest work is as good as another, that barbering, sculpturing, presiient-making, mill-owning and floor* scouring ought to be on the same level. In another century, things will :>e adjusted, may be; "society" will :ease to penalize the barber's trade ind it will not be necessary to bribe i new tenia* with a Ph.D., to sbai?Ibn the classics4 for it. Until then, ;he barbers should be paid the wage* >? th? railroad presidents to ooapeatate for their social loss, for the s*Vnissioa bj their young to the sneers of little Cicely Sumbody-of-the ? Scads. 2 "Intellectual pursuits," bedad! [ The real "intellectual" of this gen- ? eration is Charlie Chaplin. In his1J skull is an alembic whereby brains ? are turned to coin-. The brains of a ? teacher of the classics are impedi- r j menta?to barbering. ? Come to the day when the "bril- j ] I liant' 'men and women will have the - ] ; sense to turn to the work bench and. ] i the wash tub?callings infinitely.] more respectable than that of drill- j J in# knowledge into the heads of the," children of the bourgeoisie. ! The teachers of Latin don't earn as J ! much as barbers because they I ! | m j haven't got as much sense. Else they I would go and barb. The lather's fine. I KING'S JESTER. I May 15, Somewhere Here. E j STATE SUNDAY SCHOOL I CONVENTION IN FLORENCE E E E The State Sunday School Conven- g tion, to be held in Florence on June| | 3-4-5, is presenting this year the [ ? strongest program for the afternoon^ ! conferences that have yet been given I ] I in the annual meetings? More and | ] ' more the program for the State Con-' g ! | ventiori resembles a training school g for Sunday School workers, where j for three days they may come to j school again for the purpose of pre-,, paring themselves for greater and ? more efficient work in the Sunday Schools at home. Through the at^i tendance upon State. Conventions in J the past, hundreds of lives have been. I inspired to .greater service, doubts g have been removed, questions an- * awered, and workers sent home with new courage for their tasks. a The afternoon conferences,?Ad- ! ministrative, Children's ' Division, 5 1 Young People's, and Adult, Will be * 1 schools of method, where plans forjS ! more efficient work will be given by i specialists. Rev. P. H. Welshimer, I | of Canton, Ohio, and Prof. M* A.:I ! Honline, of Dayton, Ohio, will speak T ! at several of the conferraces. * Miss K Mary F. Price, of Florida, and P. E. j | \ Greene, of Georgia, specialists in E | Young People's wqrk, will help in the J [ Young People's Conferences. Mrs.j( j Mary Foster Bryner, one of the best ^ known Children's Division specfel- ? | ists, will assist in the conferences ^ I for the teacher and parents of chil dren. 9 In addition to these a large number I of men and women in this state, who j I are quailified to speak from know-j ledge and experience, will assist in, the * conference. Among ihese are, I W. V. Martin, of Spartanburg, industrial Y.M.C.A. secretary of the two Carolinas; Mrs. S. C. Byrd, of I tyJhicor^i Cqllegej Columbia; Prof. ! Edgar S. Hendefrsori, of Hartsville; i J. ,V. Weston, of Charleston; Dr. A. i W. Blackwood, of Columbia; Prof. S. C. Schaible, Coker College, Hartsville; Rev. Daniel Iverson, St. Matthews; Rev. W. B. Duncan, Dillon; Mrs. S. N. Burts, Spartanburg; Rev. A. E. Drigger, Clemson College; Ji W. Carroll, Spartanburg; Miss Emily( i Hick. ColumbiaMiss Milwee Davis,1 Greenwodd; Mrs. C. E. Exum, Bennettsville; Mrs. E. L. Hughes, Greenville; Prof. M. L. Montgomery, Kingstree; George R. Koester, Greenville; Miss Irene Hudson, Spartanburg. X A FEW OPENINGS IN THE ARMY REMAIN The Armj Recruiting Station, 35 | Barnard St., Savannah, Ga., has juct ' ??' 1 - 4-Via A Hill. Ireceiveu ? mtpiw uvui tant General of the Army which says j "Enlistments for Cavalry A. E. P. discontinued.'" This means the Cavalry allotment of the 50,000 men required by the American Expeditionary Forces has been filled and many men who have put off joining will be disappointed. There remain a few openings in the American Expeditionary Forces. Men can join the Infantry, the Field Artillery, hte Corps of Engineers and the Medical Department; but if the enlistments continue at their present rate, it will be a matter of a very short time before these branches will be filled. Men who wish to taice aavmnta^o of this wo. ierful chanee to yiiit the I battlefields of France with the prir- I ilege of seeing Great Britain, France I Italy, The Rhine, and possibly some I of the other portions of Europe I should apply for enlistment to the I I nearest Recruiting Station without , delay. ^raianuarafiuiifiUBJEiaiardr I I I Avr ATTr Hi ILsLUl n. IV j Suits of Quat j $18 to > | PARK ilL?* SALE AN PR k3* .. . We offer for sale 01 . John P. Wilson Home just outside the city li horse farm in cultival This is a good farm ttaii Viorl V?j4+nic qqo no JUU ixau Mvbtvi auv wo \ . The L. C. Haskell I Large, roomy dwe , acres of good land, in through it Can cut o value. I lot on Parker Strt cellent building lot I ' 2 nice lots on Trinii Square, convenient to sale. 2 lots on Wardlaw i are nice residence lol Akkavilla In< nuutum. iu< .. Foi J.S. STARK, ' CLOTHE 01 mg!t. Qua ' Inside ai T ' T|HR~0 ' 'V ' 1 : . an \ . v V sai5/?i#? . , ? v. ' < * V ' Tupn AAA A% \JF ^mmmmmmmrnrnmrn IAKE andjTRlMM ess SUITS of such first-( ty are bound to give S? ty \ There are no newer wheje than we #re she I ^ And patterns-r-we^ ill - est assortment you eve ^rays, browns, gre< =' and all soils of fancy :ER & REE * ) * ' '* 1 v ' BfifiRgfilgfiKgfiflgggfl ) i > ' i' "l ' if ft fir* j' mmm ' '- - '. i: ,<H )W?.rv,- - J . OF FA ' > - ,- ' " . : , '. ; D CIT1 OPERT\ HrV r> ! .ho ' *7KV7^> -TiV '; . ?. t ;* ' * je of Abbeville County's bes Place, 140 acres of excelle mits. Good dwelling, bams s Hon. Will cut in small tracts and one that will sell If you before someone else buys it ? ?; lome Place, next to City Hig * * ill H' ' 1 '?! ning witn au moaem com icluding fine pasture with c ff 12 to 15 city lots is desired. ' s # iuit'iiil jet, 105 feet front and 210 fe ty Street, block and a half Seaboard Shops. Excellent v K i iu Street, and 1 lot on Orange < i ts. Convenient to town and Se surance & Trust G r prices and terms, see or W. fBHaKHfflHHMj i I I |c! C II |] ' " ' li S./ M?*v.-iSSP1 my i rid Oat !| UGH i 11! a li j! UGH | j INGS jj :lass quali- -11 itisfaction. v - j J . styles any- j j wing now. B re the fin- ' | r saw. $ ins, blues, Sj .19 mixtures. j] SE I T " RM ' * Y r: ; . ;'? > ' 'J st farms, the. nt farm land ind cabin, four if desired, ; ..<1 i are interested h School. leniences, 20 ireek running ft , .ly'-Sg et deep, an ex! , if ij from Public ' alue for quick ' ' M Street These aboard Shops. x * *V^3 jmpany | 3 L. PEEBLES I 1 | v| % ^ . i1