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Heart to Heart Talks By JAMES A. EDGERTON AI WAYS ROOM FOR REAL MEN. Tlio recent dwith of the Rev. Robert Col Iyer calls attention to a career that should be an inspiration to every poor boy and to every real man. Robert Collyer was known as the "blacksmith preacher." lie was born in England of a very poor family. There were many cliil dren and an Income pitifully meager. Robert when a small child was com pelled to go to work in the mills with his brothers and sisters. lie worked fourteen hours every day. Thus he had no chance for an education. lie came to America to belter his condition. While still a young man ho was a blacksmith in Pennsylvania. At the same time he prea.ched for little or nothing on Sunday. With muscular strength he h:id gain ed mental Independence. He had learned to think for himself. He came to doubt some of the dogmas of his denomination and hnd the courage to say so. He therefore-severed his con nection with that church. The same mental courage made his career. He again cut loose, this time from his livelihood, went to Chicago and started in a small church. Being vigorous and honest and having some thing to say, he drew other men to him." He became one of the most popu lar preachers in Chicago He was a friend of Abraham Lincoln, who had as little education and as much mental independence as himself. Later Robert Collyer preached in dhe of the leading churches of New York city. He was the author of many books and was known and loved in most civ Hized lands. At last he died full of years and honors. One secret of his power was that he was always mentally honest with him self. Another was that he educated himself, making the world his univer sity. There are those who whine In our day that the avenues of advancement are being closed to the young men. Rubbish! A young man like Robert Collyer would win in auy age. There never was a greater call than now for young men who can think, who find new and better ways of do ing things, who have a real message. This is true in industry, in business, in literature, in politics and in religion. The world always has an open door for real men. THE PATH TO SUCCESS. A New York minister wrote to seven prominent men a series of questions as to their rules for success in life. lie incorporated the replies in a ser mon. and. although this man is an elo quent preacher, this was one of the best discourses ever heard from his pulpit. Among the secrets of success men tioned were honesty, loyalty, absorp tion in one's work, dependability, in vention. earnestness, euthusiasm. tenac ity of purpose ami hard woik. As to whether it is hard work or wor ry that breaks men down, all agreed that hard work would not endanger any one's physical or mental health, and two said that hard work is a tonic Among the causes of failure were mentioned intemperauce. immorality, untruthfulness. cigarette smoking, making a drudge of oueself and getting into debt A majority ugreed that a college edu-, Auflnn ?c nnf M cilPPacc I though it might help (he right sort of man. If not the right sort it might prove a detriment All agreed that religion is an asset, but one added that it must be "real and not lip cant or hypocrisy." All these ideas are old. you say? Yes. but the beauty in these men's I cases is that they have tried their mot-j toes out in actual life and have every one succeeded, some of them in an emi nent degree. They have proved their words. The men that have won have told us how they won. almost from the be ginning of history. There have been | thousands of testimonials, and they! have all sounded much like these. The universality of the testimony is | a proof of its truth. Thus the winners have planted tuide posts all along the road to success, sc that the wayfaring man. even though a fool, need not miss the directions. There are many roads leading from 1 this main highway. One is called intemperance. Beware ; of that Another is laziness Shun it as you i would a pestilence. A third is untruthfulness. Do not let your feet stray this way. A fourth is named debt You will find pitfalls In this path. Avoid the byways. They lead no where. Keep Id the middle of the road. PUBLIC MANNERS. Men do in crowds what they would not think of doing as individuals. We had numberless examples of it during the late presidential 'campaign.' The candidates for our highest office were almost mobbed by the crowds, were jammed and rushed, called by their first names or nicknames and generally treated in a way that show ed public l>.nl manners. Yet most of the men making up these mobs probably puss as well bred. In their personal relations they are Parental Problems. Where a whipping may Improve one boy it will create a grudge and a thirst for revenge In another. Parents have several problems besides making a living.?Atchison Globe. Some Encouragement, f "That girl has rejected me three times," cor*5ded the disconsolate youth. "Well," replied Miss Cayenne, "you should feel encouraged. A girl who will listen to three proposals from the same man must think some thing of him." COST OF APPAREL GIVES EUGENIE SHOCK. | Former Empress Never Paid More Than $125 For Gown. Loud complaints are heard because of the huge advance in the prices , ! charged for women's apparel In Lon ! Thoro ie nA rtmilifr thnfr in tho I last twenty years there has been au enormous increase In the charges not1 only for very elaborate toilets, but for, : 6imple tailor made costumes, and as ' for hats and millinery generally they have now reached a price that verges : on the ridiculous. One hundred dollars to $125 Is gen- [ erally asUcd for a taUor made costume, although it Is a well known fact that a few years ago an ordinary talior made yachting costume could be ob tained for half that sum at the very 1 best shops. j Not long ago, it Is said, the ex-Em press Eugenie expressed herself as horrified at these present day prices and declared that she herself had never paid more than .$125 for her: most magnificent toilets. It is quite i certain that this sum would not buy : an elaborate toilet that could be worn 1 nnw.Kliivs at the court or state balls, ; or even at the Ascot meeting. Five ' hundred doilars, $750 and even more 1 is not Infrequently paid for court ; dresses, and many of the beautifully ' draped toilets that created a sensa tion at Ascot this year are known to have cost $250 to $300. THE PACE THAT KILLS. Railroad Heads Under the Strain of Doing "Big Things." j Two railroad men of long service. President James juccrea or tne i euu-1 ! sylvanla Railroad company ?ind M. B. > I Ingalls, chairman of the Big Four, have resigned with the explanation j that tliey must give up work of such I rigor and responsibility to conserve their health. President McCrea haa been in harness for forty-eight years, : and Chairman Ingalls for more than forty. Both began at the foot of the ladder as rodmen, and as they rose their labors made greater and greater ; demands upon them until the top was reached, and then their hours of work were limited only by their endurance and the responsibility they shouldered was often near breaking them down. Men in ordinary pursuits envy such executive giants the handsome salaries they receive, but they are always earn ed, often at the cost of physical wel fare and the enjoyments of home life. There are no greater bondtaen In in rinstrv than executive railroad officers. It is voluntary servitude, but of a kind that allows thera little rest, scant time for change and recreation, and almost never a vacation. The general manager no less than the J president must devote himself body' and soul to his duties, and only sick-, ness excuses him. There must, of course be a fascination about such a calling, and it Is the fascination of do ing big things in a big way,- but it takes heavy toll of vitality. The col lapse sometimes comes when the vic tim believes he is still in the prime of life. NURSERY IN THEATER. London Opera House Rented by Vaude ville Man With Ideas. T ~/In ft! tn hfi va n thpfltel liVUUVXi !>} Vvr uu . v *- ? ? to which will be attached a nursery, where- parents can deposit their off spring. secure In the knowledge thai I while they are watching the stage their babies are being competently watched. The nursery will be one of tnany novelties which Fernand Akoun is to . Introduce at the London Opera House. Mr. Akoun is the chief of a syndicate which has secured a lease of the house from Oscar Hammersteln for somf years to come, and intends to create a family atmosphere about It, hence his decision to make provision, fot babies. Mr. Akoun proposes to initiate the I venture at Christmas. He says "It was a pure accident which led to the ; selection of the London Opera House : for my purpose. I was in London < ' few days ago on a rather sad business, [ the funeral of an old friend famous in ! the entertainment world, and, happen ing to pass along Kingsway, I saw the( theater empty. Within forty-eight, hours the scheme was .formulated and a syndicate rormea reaay ro support me. It was not long after that that I secured the lease." WHISKY'S FIRE TEST. By It Indians Detected Dilution Made by Traders. When the Fludson's Bay Trading' company began Its trading among the Indians It was found that by selling the Indians liquor they could more easily be Induced to trade their peltries. ! The first whisky or intoxicant of in ferior quality was distilled in Eng-j land and brought to America in large barrels, but in transporting it overlaud it was found more convenient to divide j it into small kegs. The traders soon became aware of the fact that by di j luting the whisky with water mor? furs could be obtained. This was prac j ticed for some time, but the Indians learned that good whisky poured on a fire would cause it to flame up, but | had the whisky been diluted the Are would be quenched. It was by this simple experiment] that the term "firewater" became a common word among Indians. A chief who lind experienced the had effects of whhjky among his people said It wag,' certainly distilled from the hearts ofj wildcats and the tongues of women from the effects it produced. That Occasional Chord. Theje are chords in the human heart, slrange, varying things, which ' are only struck by accident; whicb will remain mute and senseless to ap peals the most passionate and earnest,' and respond at last to the slightest casual touch. In the most insensible or chiJdlsh minds there is some train of reflection which art can seldom f lead, or skill assist, but which will re veal itself, as great truths have done, by chance, and when the discoverer has the plainest and simplest end in jlew.?Charles Dickeons. oooooooooooooooooooooooooo ? o g "PORK BARREL" ROAD BUILD- 0 IMC ? o ? When enthusiastic advocates n o X o of good roads from all parts of ? ? the country meet ift convention o o it is inevitable that a cuuiber of ? q ill considered plans should be o o proposed, plans that would do ? q far more harm than good to the o o cause. o o One of these is the proposition O' o that the federal government ?1 o should vote an indefinite number o ? of millions for the work and o o place the money in the hands of ? ? the local authorities. That sim- o o ply means dividing it among the ? ? constituencies that have return- o o ed congressmen with a pull. It ? o is the old rivers and harbors o o plan, which has wasted more o j o millions of public money than ? ? would sufiicc to build a road o. o from Detroit to New Orleans ?i ? and feeop it in repair for twenty o | ? . . . o o years. 110c to speait or laying q ? out a grassy boulevard strip and o o a footwalk on either slfle of it. ? q This money has been deliberate- o o ly shoveled Into little harbors ? ? that were never heard of before O, o and that which never sheltered o | o anything bigger than a tug or ? ? a fishing boat.?Better Roads. o ? o 00000000000000000000000000 P. 0. DEPARTMENT AND GOOD ROADS. It Directs Co-operation Witn Autnori ties For Improvement. Good ronds movements throughout the country are to have substantial support from the postoffice department First Assistant Postmaster General Roper has notified officially postmas ters of all classes that "It is the desire of the department that they co-operate with state nnd county authorities in the endeavor to improve the condition of the public roads. "The department's attention," con tinues Mr. Roper, "has been attracted to proclamations issued from time to time by the governors of states desig nating certain days aa good roads days, and postmasters, as representa tives in their communities of the na tional government, are expected to j manifest as active an interest in tliiaj movement as is consistent with the proper performance of their official du ties." COST OF DRAGGING ROADS. C. F. Chase of North Dakota Agricul tural College Gives Estimates. At the home farm in southeastern Nebraska, writes Professor. Chase, there is a stretc h of road a half mile in length thnt we have dragged for seven HBH5 H?^$iyPd| S "*5?k ,; " C PgliP^ : \ .!*:> - : DRAGGING A COUNTBY KOAD. years. Only ouce during this period has this road been worked with any thing but the drug. Two years ago the side ditches were cleaned with the common road grader. A careful record of the time taken to keep this road dragged has been kept, and for the first five years it runs as follows: Two trips for one man and one team requiring one hour's time for one dragging is the basis taken. The first year we dragged it fifteen times, the second thirteen, the third seventeen, the fourth twelve and the fifth four teen times, or seventy-one draggings of one hour's time during five years. This at 30 cents an hour for man and team is $4.2G n year for the half mile. For a mile it would be $S.52 annual cost of maintenance. Another road in the immediate vicinity cost less than $10 per mile annually. The soil is not quite as heavy as Red river soil, but the rainfall is a little more than thirty inches. A case is noted in Public Roads Bulletin 48. United States de partment of agriculture, where the cost of similar maintenance of roads in Arkansas was $11 per mile. State Engineer Gerhart of Kansas puts the range of cost for dragging at from $4 to $10. The cost for North Dakota should not be over $10 per mile, while In most cases it would be much less, the cost depending upon the character of the soil, the rainfall, traffic and grade. As an average for all dirt roads I would place the annual cost of maintenance at $7.50 per mile or $4(50.740 to drag In ? mnnnnp fl n mflHa in U SilUdiav twi j liiuuuti Hit vmwu . North Dakota one year. The total expenditure on public [ roads of Worth Dakota outside of tOT/ns in 1011 was $091,540. If prop erly organized and if the people were educated we could properly nik'ntain our earth road with present road fund and have $230.S00 left for bridges, new construction, etc. Getting the Best of It. The wisest man would make a good barfeain if he could trade off what he knows for what he doesn't know. Anticipation. Mrs. Justwed?Ju^t think of It, dear est one! Twenty-five years from day before yesterday will be our silver an- ! nlverBary! ?Judge. New Roofing Material. A new roofing material is steel coat ed with lead. FEWER WORKING OVERTIME. Better Hours For Employees, Making Trains Safer. Washington.?"Violations of the law limiting the service of train employees on American railroads to sixteen con secutive hours go to the very heart of the efficiency and safety of train oper ation," said Charles C. McCliord, com missioner, commenting upon a state ment issued by the interstate com merce commission analyzing the month ly reports of Interstate railroads on hours of service In the fiscal year end ed June 30, 1913. M^sirlv 300 000 violations of the six teen hour limit were reported by 209 railroads in the year. It must be re membered, however, that 251,111 men were employed in handling trains. "As a result of the prosecutions in stituted by the commission," the anal ysis points out, "the number of in stances of excess service reported dur ing the last six months, as compared with the corresponding figures for pre ceding years, has shown a marked re duction." THRUST INTO HAY FATAL Royalist Hidden In Cart la Killed by Frontier Guard. Paris.?A grim incident of the rising in Portugal was recently narrated by a French sculptor. A peasant's cart filled with hay drew ' up at the Spanish-Portuguese frontier. The officials glanced into it One, to satisfy himself, thrust bis sword sev eral times among the bundles. "Pass on," he said carelessly. An instant later he uttered an exclamation of horror. Blood was trickling from the straw. The driver sprang from the cart and fled, followed by revolver shots from the customs officials. Overturning the cart, the officials found beneath the straw a dead man. The sword had passed through his heart as he lay hidden. lie was a royalist leader try ing to smuggle himself Into Portugal. BITTEN BY BUG, BEGS tiALM. Passenger Asks $10,000 For Incident In Sleeping Car. Milwaukee, Wis. ? Samuel Cohn of Milwaukee, who arrived from the west recently, has sued for $10,000 because he was bitten by an Insect in a rail road sleeper. The defendant in the suit is the Chicago, Milwaukee and St Paul road, and the case will be tried In Montana, where the "offense" is al leged to have been committed. When Cohn arrived in Milwaukee he carried one arnj in a sling, and he claimed in making his complaint to the company that he had been made so ill that his business was interfered with and that the mental and physical an guish resultant was worth $10,000. HEROISM AS A BOY FREES LIFE CONVICT Friend Whnsfi I iff) Was TwiCfl Saved Pays Debt. Bloom ington, 111.?After serving ten years for murder Herbert C. Galle hugb of Chenoa, this county, Is a free man. Gallehugh Is the only son of Dr. and Mrs. Gallehugb. He left that place sixteen years ago and in Minnesota worked on a railroad. -One day, while on the road, bis wife was insulted by a negro. Upon his re turn, aroused by the sneering manner of the negro, he shot him dead. Gallehugh was arrested and charged with murder. He made a strong plea of self defense, but was sentenced to the prison at Stillwater, Minn., for life. The sentence was a shock to his family and friends. His parents, wife and friends have always accepted the plea of self defense and believed that be did what any other self respecting man would have done. Among those active in his behalf was YV. B. Clooney, passenger agent ior me uaicaso unci .tuum iu Diuuuimg ton. The two had been playmates to gether. Gallebugh twice saved the life of Clooney. When the case reached the board, comprising the governor, attorney gen eral and chief justice of Minnesota,' they unanimously voted to release Gallehugh. He was granted an un conditional pardon. LAMP SHEDS PINK GLOW. Neon Gas Appliance Is Suitable For Milady's Dainty Boudoir. London.?Much discussion is going on concerning the new neon lamp, which gives out a beautiful rose-pink color peculiarly suitable for boudoirs and tea rooms. Neon, which is an atmospheric gas, was discovered by the English scien tist, Sir William Ramsay. It Is said to possess the property of allowing an electric current to traverse it under 1 certain conditions of pressure and tem perature and of turning a large propor tion of it into the rose-pink light Tooth a Foot Long. Seattle.?The skeleton of a mam moth was uncovered by workmen 1 sluicing the excavation for the munic- | ipnl stadium at West Seattle. The bones were found 150 feet below the top of the hill imbedded in a clay bank. One tooth measured twelve Inches 1 long, eight inches wide at the base, six Inches wide at the top and three ' Inches thick. Mpono Sur.r.flllfl. Success, generally speaking, Is the Bclenoe of leaving just as little as pos sible to chance.?Puck. Extremes. She?What an awfully tall man Lord Lofty is! He?They say he's painful ly short. Prosperity ana Adversity. Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes, and adversity not ? without comforts and hopes- -Bacoii. ? GOV. VMM LAWS FOR LABOR Real Service He Rendered to New Jersey Workers. FOUGHT BY INSURANCE MEN, They Threatened to Raise All Their Rates :f Employers' Liability Law Were Passed, but Became Quist at Hint of State Offering Indemnity. [Sacramento (Cal.) Union.J "When Woodrow Wilson became gov ernor of New Jersey he found that wealthy employers had boon given the laws they desired regardless of the welfare of the thousands of men, wo men and children on their payrolls. He found that in the factories of the Gtate scores had been killed or maim ed for life and that there was abso lutely no provision for the protection of the families of those workingmen engaged In hazardous occupations. He found that,the bosses had been carry ing out tHe wishes of the interests, from which they had obtained cam paign contributions. That was the situation In corrupt New Jersey, where the conditions of labor had been notoriously oppressive and seemingly hopeless for a genera tion. But Governor Wilson determin ed to change it and with his custom ary vigor tackled the problem. Employers' Liability Law. One of the reforms pe effected was the enactment of a strong employers' liability law. But for this he had to fight with the same grim and un swerving purpose that had obtained the Geran primary election law. After the bill had been introduced In the leg islature and became known as one of the governor's measures the insurance companies sent representatives to the tx.l J XI U capiioi auu Luruugu LUfUJ luieaicucu reprisal. "Tf you enact such a law we'll raise the rates on all insurance throughout the state. We'll pile them up on everybody," they said. But the bluff didn't work. "Very well, gentlemen, hs you please," replied Governor Wilson, "but remember that if you try anything of that kind it may be necessary for us to establish a system of state insur ance." After that the Insurance com panies decided that silence was the better part of wisdom. The employers' liability law was passed, and an apparently fair statute It is, essentially fair to the employer as well as to the employee, for Wood row Wilson is not a demagogue who plays for labor's support He merely believes in justice to the whole people within the authority of his office. Prevents Long Litigation. The law prescribes the liability of as employer to make compensation for in juries sustained by an employee in the course of employment It establishes an elective schedule of payment and strictly regulates the procedure for de termining the liability and compensa tion. It relieves an employee who is injured of the necessity of instituting suit to obtain damages by providing a definite schedule covering the differ ent classes, of Injuries and fixing the employer's liability for each. Employers now regard the law a9 fair because under it they can calcu late with reasonable certainty what their maximum liability for any one year will be instead of leaving this to be determined by Jurors. Employees are greatly benefited by it because in case of accident it secures to them without delay u fixed income at a time when money is most needed and be cause it avoids long drawn out litiga tion, with Its attendant expense and suffering. Real Service to Labor. Governor Wilson meant It for both. He supplemented it shortly with a law compelling the erection of fire escapes on all factories and buildings housing a number of employees?not one or two 6pider ladders, but equipment suffi cient to prevent a recurrence in .New Jersey of the horrors that had shocked the people of the New England manu facturing cities. Such laws are worth something to labor. They reflect the opinion of a man who believes in the honesty of la bor's purpose to the extent that he holds labor above seeking selfish or undue advantage. As they were en acted they represented steps in Wil son's restoration of New Jersey's gov ernment to the people. They wrote genuine reforms into the statute books. Lakewood (N. M.) Progress: "It is a significant fact that about three fourths of the small Democratic and progressive newspapers of the country are for Woodrow Wilson, and all of the Republican papers are doing every thing in their power to defeat his nom ination for the presidency. This goes to show who the Democrats want and whom the Republicans fear." Huntsville (Ala.) Times: "Woodrow Wilson can beat any man the Repub licans choose to nominate against him. Present indications point favorably to the nomination of Mr. Taft by the Re publicans, in which event Mr. Wilson will have a walkover." New Brunswick (N. J.) News: "Sen ator O'Gorman of New York names Governor Wilson first in his list of available candidates Coming 1'rom nhlnof nf Tnmmnnu mon rhic somewhat significant." Quits So. "I beg your pardon, sang out the jonvict as the governoi passed his jell. Politics. By placing the proper number of ;oins in the slot tho political machine aay be operated. First Bear Dance. What, though I am obliged to dance i bear, a raau may bo a gentleman or all that?She Stoops to Conquer. Skillful Anclsnt Cook?. The cooks of the ancients were art ists in their way and were so skillful ihat they could serve a whole pig boll id on one side and roasted on the nther. Softening Granite Slabs. It has been observe*! that, under certain conditions which have not been explained, granite will warp like wood. A slab set in a wall has been ; under observation in Switzerland, and a perceptible distortion has made it self apparent.?Harper's Weekly. Plaint of Old Age. Washington Irving didn't enjoy old age more than the other fellow. He sighed one day: "What a pity it la that when we have grown old we j can't turn around and grow young again, and die of cutting our teethl" Be*tar Days Coming. "This is the tenth time you have been up before me," said the Cleve land judge severely. "Is It possible, your honor?" replied the prisoner. "Well! well! Ain't it wonderful how long some judges hold office under the old system? But I promise it won't happen again?not after we get the recall to workin'." , Floating Cannery. A new phase of scientific manage ment has been put into operation out on our progressive Pacific coast by the conversion of the good old ship Glory of the Seas Into a floating can aery of salmon. There is the whole proceedings right on one floating spot ?catching, cleaning, cooking, can ning, boxing and then, when the hold Is full of the season's pack of cases, a tow of the factory into port and the market No Escape From Them. Even when the expected happens there are people who will Insist on saying "I told you so." Coming Events. Brink President?"What's the mat ter?" Bank Vice-President?"I was Just thinking. I sat next to our cash ier in church yesterday, and I don't quite like tho way he sings 'Will they miss me when I'm gone.'". Sublime Thoughts. For all our penny wisdom, for all our . . . slavery to habit, It Is not to be doubted that all men have sublime thoughts.?Emerson. English Humor. . He who laughs last Is an English nan.?Princeton Tiger. His Part In the Affair. "Your son-in-law has a title." "Yes," replied the patient father; "but I am the one who is furnishing the expen sive binding material and the gilt dec oration."?Buffalo Commercial. Right Word. Elderly Aunt?My dear, I have Just put you down In my will for $10,000. Her Niece?Oh, auntie, what can I say to thank you? How are you feeling today??Life. Who Is She? "We are willing to admit that chrys anthemums were never more beauti ful than now. Even a head of cabbage Would be beautiful if a pretty girl wore It for a bouquet.?Philadelphia ^Telegraph. Knowledge. There Is no wealth like unto knowl edge, for thieves cannot steal it Burmese Proverb. f Classified, ' "My precious lamb," said the new parson to the little girl, *1 fear me your father is ODe of those wayward eheep, long strayed from the fold." "Dad's not a sheep," smiled the little girl. "He's a Bull Boose!"?Judge. Reasonable Stipulation. "Shall we admit Wombat to our Sub? llmated Order of the Kibosh? He al? ready belongs to seven secret socle* i lies." "I'm in favor of admitting him if there's enough of him left to work our ritual on."?Kansas City. JpurnaL Leeson From Flowers. There is dew in one flower and not in another, because one opens its cup and takes it in, while the other closes Itself and the drop runs off.?Beecher. Impossible. _ "A person should think twice bo fore speaking." "Perhaps so, but If some people were to think twice be fore speaking they would be so ex hausted they couldn't speak."?Bir mingham Age-Herald Substitute for Cotton. Nettle stems are being used sa a substitute for cotton. Passing Worry Along. The niau who doesn't borrow trou ble borrows money from his friends and lets them do It.?Washington Post Great Writer's Foible. Byron, whose vanity was as great as bis genius, used to have his hair ione up In curl papers at night. Woman. To think of a part one little woman t?'n pby in the life of a man, so that to renounce her may be a very good imitutlan of heroism, and fo win her mj.y bo a discipline!?George Eliot Fish's Strange Method. The fish Paratilapia multicolor hatchos her eggs in pockets in her < mouth." Spoon Steais Heat. Never have a metal spoon In a saucepan if you wish the contents to boil quickly, for the spoon is the j means of carrying off a great deal of ' heat. Great Convenience. "Ton find that an automobile you to keep yoor engagement?" does better than that," replied 3?n?.i Chugglns. 'If you don't want to keep them, it enables you to explain evw, er'ythlng by saying yon broke dowtt.*.^ ?M ? ??^4*1 \ a' In the Cyclone Belt "I tell you what," said Gothalfi, tertalnlng his western cousin, "every* thing's so high here It's almost lmpoft* sible to keep a house going." "WeH.'*; replied the Kansan, "the winds are high out our way It's almost lmponfc ujo to Keep a uouse rrom gomg,tv Catholic Standard and Times. ~t Past and Future. "She Is a /woman with a past;" s&M the Suspicious Neighbor, with 8Hp*:. pressed horror. 'Well," said the OW Neighbor, "she's better off than thar; rest of us, If that's all. Tm afrati most of us have something coming td: us." And it was so. You unhappefli your past, but what's coming you maj; sidestep. Cavo Dweller* Abroad. % Southern Tunis boasts of a hnnatf i less town having a population of &,00dj people. They are troglodytes, whowt fathers before them lived In similar oares. ? X't?i ;? ? _ Pleasant for Papa. ' "So," said the Indulgent father, ; "young Mr. Nervey wants to take yott away from me." "0! yes," replied ; the dear girl, "but he says tell brine me back after the wedding Journey* . He has decided that we shall board ^ with you."?Cathollo Standard aaC | Times. jr . - I 1 Cultivate Sense of Humoft ?p A sense of humor is certainly t&0j salt oMife, eitLor of the marrlad raw M riety or the plain, single exlsteaoai~fl It certainly helps a wife to laugh offlj 1 many a little bruise that otherwise would grow Into a festering bot% eee "the funny side of many of trivial annoyances of Ilfe at. tb/% " they hajppeii certainly ** tlOXL \ Professions Taught Free of Charge There Is Just one country fa world where the highest education free and that country, surprising as, may seem to those who read this, Chill There every profession taught In the most modern met hy the best authorities with no whatever to natives. _ - 1 Of Doubtful Statu*. ?' "Have you much of a frlend?Mj>;3 with Wombat? I see yon going homo.;! with him occasionally." "The stataML of our friendship Is a puzzle to tassm He never takes me to his house exoqj^ when he has been drinking."?LouiiK J vllle Courier Journal. < Georgia Syntax. On account of not being able-to power and the copy for grand presentments was also late in Ing us, is the cause of us getting paper put late this week. ?~ #' Nautical. . Ancient nartner (at the first footi* . ball game)?Where's the tackle w?( i hear so much about? Smart Land* lubber?Don't you see the lines aH over the groundT-^udgo. -- ? - Increase of Dope FlondA 1* Drug taking is greatly cn the ffii crease in London. Somebody recent ly Introduced, "hasheesh" Into great .city,, and so popular has It 4ome that two hasheesh chambers now in full swing not a hundred from Piccadilly. ... m , As One Who Knows. Figg? Does your grocer sell his ap* pies by the barrel? Fogs?Well, the*! come in barrels, but what he sella, them by is the top layer. Three Kinds of Men. There are three kinds of men In the world?those (the best) who make Jokes, those who can enjoy Jokes, those (the worst kind) who attempt ta explain jokes.?G. K. Chesterton, ii| London Daily News. iaoa mnsnoH?axei j jj lAi\ pe^so imn euo ^ub Zixwa-pi, jeaT ?J9M. eq j] nima rio/i dtuom^ j ?lUBa ?4) 9j6;oq tjinp =? k' J I ' * \ Happies* Home. '* * But the happiest home Is bufll when the twain together ^meet thaj trials and catastrophes that comfli from the outside world with the goo4 health, the oommon sense, the humorv the patience and courage that wll| rout them. It should not be neoesmrjj. for these qualities to be used by thai one to combat the faults of the other* ?Barbara Boyd. Course NoV _ "Did he kiss you when hi pro* posed? "Certainly; I wouldn't con?j 3ider any but sealed proposals." Cheerful Philosopher. .: Fontenelle, the French writer, w&* always cheerful, and this is perhaps why he lived to be one hundred years old. He used to say: "Without cheerfulness, what is philosophy worth?" When about to die, he said:} "I do not suffer, my friend; I feel a certain difficulty In living, -m "Who Eats?Paysl" v x No Indoor worker can continue td eat meat thrice, or even twice dally; after middle life?and middle lifej mark you, begins with the thirty-flfthf year?without paying' the penalty lrf an attack of gout, rheumatisn^ Brignt's or an allied disease, a re^ years later. This "few years" may, la' special cases, stretch itself to a sooro ?but, Inevitably, "who eats, pays!**-* Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette. " Quick, Watao, the Hook. No man likes'to be oalled a pnta% a lemon or an unripe persimmon, but there are few who have any objeo* tlona to being named a# a oandltjj data.?Denver Newi. ..."