Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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FROM m PL < 3 SYNOPSIS. Jackson Jones, nicknamed "Broadway" because of his continual glorification of Now York's great thoroughfahe, is anx ious to get *way from his home town of Jonesville. Abner Jones, his uncle. Is very angry because Broadway refuses to settle down and take a place In the gum <actor> in which he succeeded to his father's interest. CHAPTER II.?Continued. Back of Whipple's drug store was the unofficial clubroom of the gayer youth of Jonesville, who demanded something less sordid than the two grim saloons or the tavern barroom. To the drug store Broadway retreated. He found It more than usually ani mated. While he had been in the se clusion of Judge Spotswood's study one of the rare, dramatic episodes which Jonesville ever knew had come to pass?being imported from the out er world, of course. A touring car had taken at too high a speed a "thank ye ma'am" provided by the town authorities for the purpose of re tarding motorists who endeavored to escape from deputy sheriffs. The re sult had been that the car's occupants had left it without intention, gone up ward, cleaving the night air to heights, and, coming down, had found them selves almost simultaneously in a mud hole and a deputy's custody. Having paid their fines for speeding and rescued their 'somewhat battered motor, thi y now were being bandaged. It was characteristic of the general state or jonesvuie s mica mai ice vis itors had first been fined; repairs for their bruised heads being looked at as & secondary matter. The unfortunates numbered two, and they had told the fining and exultant Judge of the peace that they were son ?nd father, giving their names as "Grover and Robert Wallace. Robert Wallace was of not much more than Jackson's age. The drug Store crowd was listening with huge delight to their subdued ex pressions of wrath. But with Broad way's entrance the younger of the vic tims recognized a member of hiB own Indefinable fraternity. Within two min utes the young men were "old chap" to each other, which is a congenial sign. "How's your machine?" asked Broad way. "Havent's looked it over very care fully." "If it's out of business, I'll get my runabout and tow you ten miles down the road. There's a good hotel there. Mrs. Spotswood. ana a repair man who knows his busl leiw could help you out the first thing ' *i the morning." No such service proved to be neces siry. In fact the stranger's car was It such unexpectedly good condition thit its owners insisted upon taking Briatdway with them to his gateway. Thy reached it simultaneously with Claa Spotswood and Josie Richards, whc were now engaged in that inef flciet but delightful see-sawlng which ireq^ntly occurs when a girl-friend take* a girl-friend home. Clara had -walkq home ^T~-*^-4Qsie, Josie had walke part way ^JT^S-^th Clara, Clara iad gone part way u'ack with her. Taey had gradually come almost to a mlway standstill ? front of the Jones pice. While the elder Wallace took ad ' vantage the Lalt to make one more examinaon of the car, before plung ing off ito the darkness of the sur rounding arming country, Jackson in CAT AN XPERT "FISHERMAN" Has Lear?d Meaning of Line In Water, ad Has the Patience of th*Perfect Angler. Cats are town to be fond of fish, tut it is not very cat that is -willing to go out anc^atch enough fresh fish to furnish hi.0wn meal and supply the family biikfast table with the same food. S<h an animal exists in Miami, Fla., owever, and daily , watches a hancine which his owner places in the w.er. Wiiea the cork bobbles the cat shes to the office of an amusement cnpany and sets up a loud mewing, following the cat's footsteps to the lce where the line lias been dropped.-hoever is on duty at the office haulin the fish to the tuneful purring ofie proud and sat isfied cat. Some rnths ago the cat chanced to be on th^ock when a fish was pulled L. Helmed that his favorite food came fi^ the water and was caught on the \d of a line. Since that any line th one end in the water and one Ctbe dock has been a source of unfa<ig interest to V . -v L'\. >VARDmR3 \Y 0T GEORGE troduced his new-made friend to the two girls, and they stood laughing in consequentially. The young city man was much impressed by the two pret ty country girls, and the two pretty country girls, especially Clara Spots wnod. were deliehted with the youth who had been brought so dramatically to their attention. They went along before the elder gentleman was satisfied that every thing was certainly all right, but at a distance which they felt sure made them invisible in the soft gloom of the summer night they paused, with many a suppressed giggle, to look back at the group, each member of which was now and then shown sharply against the background of Cimmerian dark ness as he chanced to pass into the radius of one or the other of the car's headlights. "I think he's absolutely too hand some!" Clara whispered cautiously. "I've always thought so," Josie an j swered. , "Oh, silly! I mean young Mr. Wal lace. And Robert's such a sweet name! It's almost the same as 'Robin* I?'Robin' Adair, you know? How she must have loved him!" "Robert or Robin?" Josle asked. "Robin, of course. She sang the song about him. But Robert's just as pretty, and I*, doesn't make you think of birds and worms." Josie burst Into partially stifled tit ters, and her friend grasped her arm ! in giggling wrath to force her Into a wild scamper down the dusky, fragrant village street. wnen mey naa oncc more fallen to a walk, Josle remarked, unwittingly: "You're very silly. He's not half as good looking as Jackson, and you know i it. Only we see Jackson every day, and?" t "O-h-h-h!" said Clara. "I've suspect ed that for a long time!" "Suspected what? Keep quiet!" were the contradictory remarks of hex* best friend. Then: "And I'm going to be so lonely after he has gone! I'd like to cry. I almost did. Think of all the girls he'll meet there in the city! Oh, I hate New York!" "You've never been there." "Ng. But I've heard about the girls there. Lots?of?them?drink?cock tails. And I hate that street he's al ways talking of?Broadway!" Then, suddenly, and. to the amazement of her friend, who instantly was filled, how ever, with a perfect understanding, Josie burst into tears, and, with a quick "Good night," rushed toward her home. Before they parted the city youth gave Broadway his card. "You've been very nice, old chap. Come to see mo when you strike New York." "It's absolutely certain?and I'm coming in a year." To his amazement, the events of this extraordinary night had not yet ceased for Broadway Jones. He walked down the street toward home, filled with lone-inp for the year's end and fnund Sammy, Clara's small brother, asleep upon his doorstep. "Hi, Sammy!" he cried, shaking a fat shoulder. "Yes?sir; I'm goin'?to?be?like ?" the boy began before he waB en tirely awake. "I know, like Rip Van Winkle. But he didn't take his nap upon a doorstep. Why aren't you at home, in bed?" Sammy rubbed his eyes. With mad dening deliberation he informed Broad way that the judge had sent him, with instructions to find Broadway and tell him he wished to see him. "He?said ?it?didn't?make?no?difference ? how?late." "What! As pear midnight as this? Child, it's almost ten o'clock! All Jonesville is asleep." "He?says?for?you?to?come. I'm ?goin'." Whereupon he went. Jackson followed speedily. Such a summons from the judge at such an hour must bode something cata clysmic. He found a worried judge pacing up and down his office floor. "In the office, at this hour! You real ly want to see me, judge?" "Yes," said the old man firmly. "I've determined that I will not be a party to deception." "Who's been deceived, judge?" "Jackson, your father's will gives you his fortune when you're twenty one, not when you're twenty-two. Your uncle wished to keep it from you. I do not think you ought to have it now, pbut you're entitled to it." Broadway gazed with a dropped jaw. "Judge, I'm getting all mixed up. You say I get it when I'm twenty-one? Why, I'm twenty-one already!" "I know you are. I know you are. the cat. The cat's patience would put the renowned Izaak Walton to shame, for he will spend hours sitting by a line without stirring. Sometimes the cat will sit by the side of a fisherman and will tell his human companion by his mewing when a fish is beginning to nibble at the bait before the fisher man has suspected that the bait is being dallied with. Eggs When Not Used as Food. For burns and scalds nothing is more soothing than the white of an egg, which may be poured over the wound. It Is softer as a varnieh than collodion, and, being always at hand, pan be easily applied. It is also more cooling than the Bweet oil and cotton which were formerly supposed to be the surest application to allay the smarting pain. The egg is considered to be one of the best remedies for dysentery. Beaten up slightly, with or without sugar, and swallowed at a gulp, it tends, by its emollient quali ties, to lessen the inflammation of the stomach and intestines, and by form ing a transient coating on these or gans, to enable nature to resume her HALL wi KCOI\hH I never saw the document until today. It was drawn up by Boston lawyers. And at first I thought I'd do exactly as your uncle asked?let you think It was as h# had said it was. But I've thought it over and it seems to me you'd ought to know." Broadway merely stood and stared. "Your uncle thought that he was acting for the best," the Judge Insisted. "He's been hoping you would settle down. When you didn't, he thought he'd steal a year from you, and give you one more chance. When he told me this tonight, I told him that I didn't f 41r i f wfto -fnot vlorVti* onrl?flno llv? iuiua lb rrao j uoi i 15111, uuu well, you know It all now." Broadway found the power of speech. "Good old judge!" "Then you're not angry?" "I'm too happy to be angry. Got a time table about you?" "Jackson, Jonesville was named aft er your ancestors." "Well, I don't like to live In it. I know a chap named Bright. Very like ly Bright'B disease was named after his ancestor, but I presume he doesn't *ant to die of it Judge, Jonesville is an ailment." The judge, infinitely relieved, now that he had made a clean breast of the thing, leaned back in his chair and laughe'd. "Well, what are you going to do?" "When can I get that money?" "The trustees willjiave to pay it on demand." Jackson laughed with rare delight "Uncle's one of them. How it will pain his fingers when he hands it out to me! I'm going to demand! And I want to start tomorrow. I want to start tonight, but I am reasonable. I won't wake the old man up. But while you go to get the money In the morn ing, I'll get set at the town line, wait ing for you to bring it to me, ready to get, anyway, 60 yards out of the town ship within 60 seconds. How I wish I really could sprint!" oadway!" "I know, judge, but let me tell you why I hate Jonesville and how. You knew my mother?" "A splendid woman, Broadway." "Everyone says that; but, you see, I didn't know her. And my father died when I was twelve." "A magnificent man, Broadway." "Yes, I guess he was the best bet in the village." "Poor chap! He never was the same after your mother's death." "Then Uncle Abner took me. He couldn't absolutely boss me, for certain moneys had been left with which spe cific things were to be done for me, He had to have me educated at the schools and college which my father designat ed?" "And he disapproved of them." "I know he did. A sheepskin from Jonesviile academy is his idea of the evidence of the higher education for a Jones?along with side details on first aid to a stick of chewing gum." "He always wished to have you take an interest in the gum business." "I did, till another kid slipped me a stick one day, when I was absent-mind ed, and I began to chew it. Then and there I made up tiiy mind to devote my life's endeavor to something which would not stick in your teeth. Judge Spotswood, lobsters don't. "My boy, I wish you never had seen New York!" "No, you don't, judge, you wish you were going with me when I start." "Are you going to stay away?" "Uncle says that in these days each mart should have a specialty if he would be successful. I'm going to specialize on staying out of Jonesville. I'm hoping for success." "Have you no friends frere whom you dislike to leave?"' "You and the judgess, Jndge, and Clara. I'll miss Josie, too. And there are some down at the factory. Bill Higgins, T like him. He used" to enter tain me when we went in dimming and he got the era) ps. Awfutv funny when he had the cramps,' Bi"1 was; peevish but very funny. I sha'l miss Bill. But Jonesville, as a whole, judge ?I'm not going to miss JonesvJil-i,, ex cept the way a ma" miss a tooth that has been pulled for cause." The judge sighed. "Well, I had to tell you." The young man looked at him with a strange earnestness. "Judge, would you get mad if I should kiss you?" "And you are really going, right away ?" "u s going 10 De me quicKesi get away Connecticut ever heard of." CHAPTER III. Almost as speedily as he had told the judge he would, Broadway pre pared to leave Jonesville. There was a healthful sway over a diseased body. Two, or at most three eggs per day would be all that is required in ordi nary cases; and since egg is not mere ly medicine but food as well, the lighter the diet otherwise and the quieter the patient is kept the more certain and rapid is the recovery. Names That Live. It would be interesting to ascertain how many people have given their names to the English language in the sense that Mackintosh and Macadam gave theirs. To Captain Boycott we owe the word boycott; to Lord Sand wich, the most popular of light re freshment; to Doctor Guillotin, the process by which our ministers gag the house of commons; to the brave soldier of the great Napoleon, Ser geant Chauvin, the word Chauvinism; to Jean Nicot, the French ambassador to Portugal, the word "nicotine"; to Thomas Rowdier, the word "bowdler ize"; to Mr. Gladstone, a popular form of handbag, and to Wellington and Blucher, two styles of footwear. Mr. Hansom supplied the name for th? once popular cab.?The Referee. > , . 171 PHOTOGRAPHS' fl SCCND IN THE PLAY COrr/9/GHr, /bt3, BY <ZM &LUMW Cc stormy session when the old lawyer told Abner Jones that he had made the revelation to the boy, but the old man's threats against him were quickly si- < lenced when the judge reminded him that what he had proposed to him was i fraud and that an action for conspiracy might be brought against him. \ The car wheels sang to Broadway i as he journeyed west and southward, i He gave cigars to the conductor, to j the trainmen, to the engfneer as soon as the train waited long enough for i him to get to him. He bought all the newsboy's papers, novels, magazines and sent him through the cars to give them to the ladies. Then, on his re turn, alight with smiles, he bought the last ounce of his candy and told him to appropriate it to the use of his own sweet-tooth. Arriving in New York a red-capped station-porter saw him from afar and recognized the strong financial candle power of his expanding smile. Gal vanize^ into extraordinary action he rushed toward him, calling to two friends to join him instantly and help him bear the two bags Broadway car ried. The traveler had to give the third negro his hat, so that he might seem to earn his tip; but he did this gladly. The taxi-cabman flew, scram ling from his box, at the mere intona tion of the porters' voices. "Where to, sir?" he Inquired. i "Is this New York?" his fare asked, smiling gently in a way which made the chauffeur think he was a wan derer, returned unto his own, and Wish ful of facetiousness. "You bet It is; just little old New York." "I thought so. It seems so familiar. Well, I want to go to Broadway." "What part of Broadway, sir?" (Ob serve that this Grand Central taxi-cab man nersistentlv said "sir." It was a , tribute; Broadway knew it was a trib- j ute and it warmed his heart.) , "Oh, all of it." , i "Take- you to all of Broadway?" i Even the taxi-cabman was astonished. , "I want to look it over, for I'm going ( to buy it if. I like It as much as I al- ( ways have." , j The cabman eye'd him shrewdly, de- j cided that 'he was quite sane and ] sober, resolved to tie to him with a , tenacity which never could be shaken | off, climbed to his narrow seat be neath its narrow hood and yanked down the flag upon the taximeter. "My name is Gridley, sir," he volun- ] teered. I "You may fire when ready, Gridley," ] Broadway answered, and then Gridley pulled the lever. Before the day was over Jackson Jones had bought a forty-horsepower limousine, a sixty-horsepower touring car and a runabout. Gridley had turned in his resignation to his com pany and been measured for five suits of livery, of expensive cloth, exclusive cut, extraordinary color. Having done this he had asked a girl to marry him, had been accepted, had taken sixteen drinks and gone to see her mother, had then been thrown out a jilted man and had. returned to Broadway Jones, de termined to live single and attached to him forever. The episodes had so bered him and he was quite himself when Broadway asked him what apart ment he would recommend for living quarters. "Quiet nlaoft?" he asked "Not for your new employer," Broad way answered. "I want It to be on Joy street, between Happy boulevard and Don't Care alley. The noisier the better If the noise is always laughter. I want it named The Smile and I want it furnished in bright red. Take me somewhere where they'll sell me a good butler?fancy brand, no matter what the price. I want a butler who can go and buy a home for me?a home that glitters and is glad. Throw on the high-speed clutch." ! Gridley took him, in his brand-new car (which ran as smoothly and as noiselessly and swiftly as a pickerel : swims), to an employment .agency j which he bad heard about, and there ? FrotAway signed the lease for an ex- t traordinary person, principally named t Rankin. He looked like a bishop, ^ laiKea line a uriusn iora, waiKea UKe a major-general, bowed like a diplo mat, never smiled, always said "Yes, sir," and "thank you, sir," whenever there was room for these impressive words, was ready to be measured for as many suits of livery as had been ordered for the chauffeur and assured his new employer that it would give him pleasure both to find and furnish an apartment for him. "When will you have it ready for me?" "Tomorrow morning, sir." . "Then you know what apartment you are going to take?" NOT A CASE OF DECEPTION Probably Youth's Wish Gave Inspira tion to the Neat Way He Diag nosed Situation. Not until boarding houses cease to exist will all their romances be writ Oli a VvK-rr i?Amonnoe m naf r?f LCLl. ouauuj lu.uoiivco, ujuoi ui tuciu * are, like that of the young woman who got so tired of being called "poor " thing" because she received no Invita tions and had to eat all her meals at the boarding house table that she took to eating alone once in a while at a t cheap restaurant, and then brazenly t lying about the friends who had in- i vited her to dinner. h There was a young man in that v house who never went anywhere eith- fi er. The first night the girl stayed out h life's desolation nearly overpowered ii him. c "Even that poor little white-faced b soul has made friends who want her," h he said. "Nobody wants me. I'm no good on earth." o Then on rare occasions his place at P the table "was vacant. t "New friends?" asked the landlady. s I Y OWN experience and devel JL * Jft. opment deepens every day by :onvlcuon that our moral progress can >e measured by the degree In which we lympathlze with individual suffering and ndividual Joy. ?George Eliot SOME GOOD THING8. For those who are fortunate enough ;o have Quinces in plenty, a most de icious preserve which may be kept 'or winter, is the following: Rub the julnces without peeling, 1 wash and vipe off all the fuzz, and pack them vithout peeling in a baking dish, half 111 with sweet ,clder and bake for hree or four hours, covered closely. ^ * And "Not yet, sir. Breakfast at, say, ten, sir?" "Rankin, you will do. Make it elev en. Engage a cook and second-man." t "I have already telephoned for them, 1 sir*" "I have raised your wages, Rankin, for long and faithful service. Let me see-^-you've been with me forty min utes. See to it that you do as well In future." "I shall, sir; and I hope you'll do the Bame, sir." "Find Mr. Robert Wallace In the tel ephone book. He's in the advertising business." A moment later Rankin turned back from the little table at the side of the large parlor which supplied headquar ters for the ex-Jonesvillian 'for the time being. "I have him on the wire, Bir." "I'll talk to him." Broadway took the telephone re-? ceiver from his butler'B hand and cried Into the mouthpiece: "Hello! Is. that you, Robert Wallace? . . Well, this is Jackson Jones. . . . Yes; the same you met in Jonesville when they plnchecf you, that reckless night when you were driving at four miles an hour. ... No; I've come down to stay. I'm asking you to dine with me tomorrow evening. . . Can you come? . . . 'Good. I'll telephone again, or have my butler telephone, and let you know just where. . . . All right Fine! . . . Goodby." Robert Wallace was his guide, his mentor and his friend .for some four weeks. After that he was his friend and mentor, but resigned as guide, fof Broadway took the reins. He had a passion and^a genius for Investigating metropolitan affairs of lightsome na ture. The business marts of Gotham were offensive to him. He thought it silly for mankind to waste its time [n work and said so. The teeming fas cination of the far sides of the town, 30 dear to sociologists who love hu man nature best after it has sweated ar suffered off Its varnish, found no levotee in him; he could not under stand why entire families should llvp in huddled rooms on Essex street when human being who cared less. Why, he never counts the money on his Jresser in the morning.^ Just throws it there when he gets into bed, and?" The Japanese laughed merrily. "You gettin lich!" "No; you little heathen; I only know ? tie does it, that is all. I stack it up [or him. Sometimes he throws it all J about?that and- his clothes and fur< Josie and Broadway Jones. * liture. He's often merry that way. fc 3e threw me about one night. A fine, c itrong youth! I thought it better not J ;o say much till he went to sleep, and t hen, as I crawled out from under the t here were large apartments vacant in o he great hotel flat house next door f, o the vast mansion inhabited by Mrs. t rack Gy;ard on Seventy-second street, b Mrs. Jack Gerard was an old lady of g ncredible wealth, who tried to hold c rime's hand in pause. That she had B ailed had been no fault of hers or of v he beauty parlors or cosmetic makers, s "They would be so much more com /m^aKIa i f + V? atr wrvnl/4 (ta TOhnfo fhou xi Ui lauic 14 bUCj u vuiu ? uw* w vould have more room," Jackson con inued, in further comment on the very )oor, and would not listen to the ear lest soul which tried to offer explana ions. (TO BE CONTINUED.) "Yes," the young man lied. One night the man and the girl met it a 25-cent restaurant. . They blushed, hey fenced, they finally confessed. "We're a pair of frauds," said the jirl. "It is awful to think that to light when we go home we will have U BHKar LHcXL WO uavo UOCU UlUllig vith friends." "Well," Bald the young man softly, ain't we?" Queer Marriage Superstitions. A curious idea about the Burmese is hat people born on the same day of he week must not marry, and that f they defy the fates their union will ie marked by much ill luck. To pre ent these disastrous marriages every irl carries a record of her birthday in .er name, each day of the week hav ng a letter belonging to it, and all hildren are called by a name which egins" with that letter. It is rather ard if the Marys and Marks of Burma all in love with each other. Unlike ther Oriental lands, the younger peo* le are allowed to marry as taste die ates, subject only to the birthday re trictions, a.11 uuui uoluio uiaiug uy, auu :upful of sugar to every four quinces, ind baste frequently;,there should b\ ibout a cupful of sirup; more cidef nay be added If needed. Cut the lulnces In quarters, removing the sores. Pour the sirup over them and serve qold with cream. Date Pie.?Make a single crust of ich pastry in a pie pan. Fill with Inely cut dates mixed with flavored sweet cream. Cover the top with a neringue and brown .slightly in a hot >ven. Dot with bits of bright jelly jr cherries. Simmered Carrots.?Clean, scrape ind slice a pint of carrots, cook in joillng salted water until half cooked, irid add two tablespoonfuls of batter, i small onion chopped fine, a tea spoon of sugar; stir and cook until :he onions are cooked. Season with salt, pepper, add one and a half cup ula of stock and simmer for half an lour. Serve garnished with chopped parsley. Baked Squash.?'This is a good way X3 use up cold squash: Add some nelted butter, a little rich cream, sea sonings and one or two beaten eggs, rhe amount of squash will determine lie number of eggs. Turn Into a well jreased baking diBh, cover with but? :ered crumbs and bake in a hot oven in til the crumbs are brown. Beef Tongue With Raisins.?Wash i beef tongue and put to cook gently intil tender. Take out and remove :he skin and trim It carefully. Put t Into a casserole with one table? jpoonful of butter, three tablespoon Ills of lemon juice, two cupfuls of wa :er and a suggestion .of flavoring lerbs. Summer savory, sweet mar loram and parsley are a good condbi lation. Cover and cook: alowly three lours. An hour before serving add a mpful of chopped raisins with a few eft whole, a cup of orange Juice or ielly, and simmer. Just before serv ng, thicken with flour and water itirred together. Che great man is he who does not lose his child's heart v ?Confucius. To parley with temptation is to play rfth fire. FOOD THE DAY AFTER. If less was said about rehashing dlf erent foods and serving left-overs it vould be better for all concerned. If :are is taken of food, especially in he cold weather, it will be good even i week or more after. Meats should >e, if cooked, c&refully wrapped or :overed with waxed paper, to keep hem from drying out, even if kept in !reezing temperature. A bit of . cold roast turkey or fowl >f any kind is often more appreciated it its second appearing man 11 who vhen first cooked. A bit of finely chopped chicken, joose or turkey will season a large lish of macaroni when put in in lay :rs. And chicken croquettes, if care ully made and nicely served, will nake a most appetizing dish. * A souffle with chopped fowl for its teasoning is another dainty dish fit o set before the finest guest A salad of bits of meat, crisp cab >age and celery with a good dressing s always popular. Bits of turkey or chicken cut up rith a knife and added to a good ream sauce, then poured over well uttered toast, makes .a good break ast dish. Chicken Tlmbale.?To two cups of ?its of. fowl, add one cup of soft bread rumbs and a half cup of hot milk. lix the crumbs and not miiK logemer, hen add the meat and the yolks of wo eggs. Season with a teaspoonful f salt, a few dashes of pepper and old in the whites beaten just enough o be foamy; turn the mixture into a uttered pan or mold, cover with a reased paper an<^ steam for an hour. ]arefully unmold on a platter and orve with a rich white sauce In rhich a few mushrooms have been tirred. There is no more delicious sandwich han^that made of chopped chicken reast well seasoned with salad dress ng and a bit of celery salt. As 3 German Explained His Dogs. One of the Atchison Globe's stories: l German cobbler and his wife had svo dogs, a St. Bernard six months Id and a fox terrier three years old. . friend, ^calling one day, said to the abbler: "Those are two fine dogs you ave." "Yes," replied the cobbler, und de funny bart of It iss dat de iggest dog Is de littlest one." His ife then spoke up and explained: irou must mine husband egscuse; he pheaks not very goot English. He leans de oldest dog is de youngest ae." His Need. "A pugilist must be a contrary sort f a fellow." t "Why so?" "Here I am reading of one who lys he wants a square deal on every mnd." Looking Ahead. "Six months," said the judge. "But hy did you steal a light duck suit? heavy overcoat is what you need." "But I won't need no heavy over >at six months from now, your jnor." FRUIT LAXATIVE FOR SICK CHILD "California Syrup of Figs" can't harm tender stomach, liver and bowels. ?? Every mother realize^, after giving her children "California Syrup of Figs" that this is their Ideal laxative, because they love Its pleasant taste and it thoroughly cleanses the tender little stomach, liver and bowels with out griping. When cross, irritable, feverish or breath is bad, stomach sour, look at the tongue, mother! If coated, give a teaspoonful of this harmless "fruit laxative," and in a few hours all the foul, constipated waste, sour bile and undigested food passes out of the bow els, and you have a well, playful child again. When its little system Is full of cold, throat sore, has stomach-ache, diarrhoea, 'indigestion, colic?remem ber, a good "inside cleaning" should always be the first treatment given. Millions of mothers keep "California Syrup of Pigs" handy; they know a teaspoonful today saves a sick child tomorrow. Ask at the store for a 60 cent bottle of "California Syrup of Figs," which has directions for babies, children of all ages and grown-up* printed on the bottle. Adv. India Cultivating Quinine. Java, now furnishing the bulk of the t-J.lk world's quinine suppiy, lluub a great market for the preparation In India, which already consumes one-sixth of all the quinine produced. Ceylon, once a large exporter, has fallen off la the product until the quantity sent out each year is quite negligible.! India, however, in an effort to become a great quinine-producing country, hat planted thousands of acres to the clnr chona tree. r Only One "BROMO QUININE" That la LAXAT1VB BBOMO QCTNINH. Look for tbe rtgnatnr* of a W. GBOVH. Cum ?Ool? InOna t>?7. Can* Grip la Two Day*. S0a mm No Wonder It Hurt Him. A group of grieving depositors stood on the sidewalk before the closed doors of a recently defunct bank. Jt . wasn't a merry scene. One man who had lost his all was trying to brace up a colored grandpa whose white ., wool bobbed np and down into ue folds of a bandana. "Don't cry, uncle," be said. "Banks burst every day, you know." 'Tea, sir, I know it, but?huh! huh! huh!-^la bank?huh! huh!.?done bus' right In n\.h' face."?Harper's Weekly. RUB-MT-TISM (7111 cure your Rheumatism and all kinds of aches and pains?Neuralgia, Cramps, Colio, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts, Old Sores* Burns, etc. Antlseptio Anodyne. Price 25c.?Adv. High Finance. Very black very small and very ouch impressed with the importance of her mission she stood before the kindly lady of the house. "Well Ophelia?" "I'se de washerwoman's little girl md mommer she say please to Inn' her a dime. She got to pay some bills." : : IP ' Tr a $f|I mmflfl Penalty of Distinction. '7 represent the dignity of labor," said the man in his shirt sleeves. "Yes," replied Mr. Dustin 8tax, !*and you can work in your shirt sleeves r> , and speak your mind, arid quit work '".A when your regular hours are through. I've got to wear a high hat and guard every word I speak and keep busy 16 hours a day. I represent the labor of dignity." V; 8ome Exceptions. Charles F. Murphy, with hia toler ant and good-humored smile, was talk ing to a reporter about the defeat of Tammany. "They were unfair to u^" he said. "After all, you know, all' politicians aren't erafters. They couldn't be and, exist. ? 'It's like the eagle story. A man said at the clab: "Why is an eagle like a man?" "Everybody gives this riddle up, so 'the proiSounder announced triumph* antly: " 'Because it's bald-headed.' '"But,' an auditor objected, 'all eagles aren't bald-headed.' " 'Well, neither are all men,' was the reply." FRIENDLY TIP. Restored Hope and Confidence. After several years of indigestion and its attendant evil Influence on the mind, it is not very surprising that one finally loses faith in things gen* erally. A N. Y. woman writes an interesting letter. She says: "Three years ago I suffered from an attack of peritonitis which left me in a most miserable condition. For over two years I suffered from nervousness, weak heart, shortness of breath, could not sleep, etc. "My appetite was ravenous but I a ftwiA T ho/? nlnnfv ItJiL BUU VCU AAA til*3 b&ULIU. JL UUU j^ivuv; of food but it did not nourish me be cause of intestinal indigestion. Medi cal treatment did not seem to help. I ' >' got discouraged, stopped medicine and did not care much whether I lived or died. "One day a friend asked me why I didn't try Grape-Nuts food, stop drink ing coffee and use Postum. I had lost faith in everything, but to please my friend I began to use both and soon became very fond of them. "It wasn't long before I got some Btrength, felt a decided change in my system, nope sprang up 19 my uetm, and slowly but surely I got better. I could sleep very well, the constant craving for food ceased and I have better health now than before the at tack of peritonitis. "My husband and I are still using Grape-Nuts and Postum." Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well* ville," In pkgs. "There's a Reason." Ever read the above letterT A new one appear* from time to time. They nre prcnulne, true) and fall of hnmai Interest.