Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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ALCOHOL?3 PER CENT AYegefable Preparation for As similating the Food and Regula rvns i W V $ *! '? $ 'if, $ CO 5'c h i? % Si $ ting the Stomachs ami Bowels ol" | Infants /Child ren Promotes Digestion,Cheerful rtessandRest.Contains neither Opium .Morphine nor Mineral Not Narcotic Rttipr ofOldDrSAMVElPfrC/fER Pumpkin Sfd - MxStnna fiofhtUt StJU //* is* SfJ * fkpptrmint - fiiCnr&onaUSotUi* Horm Sttd - Clorifitd Sugar Wiakryrrtn Flavor. a perfect Remedy forConstipa tion. Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea, Worms .Convulsions.Fevcrish ness and LOSS of sleep Facsimile Signature of The Centaur Company, NEW york. Guaranteed under the Foodawj Exact Copy of Wrapper. Fl MALARIA' If not sold by your druggist, cm receipt of price. Arthur Salisbury Not a Courtier. The bishop of London on one occa sion Then he went to Buckingham pal ace told the king that he bad passed Lord Salisbury in an anteroom, but the latter did not seem to know him. "Oh," said King Edward, "Lord Salis bury never recognizes anyone," and going to a bureau he took out a new portrait of himself and handed it to the bishop, saying: "What do you think of this?" "A very excellent like ness, sir," said the bishop. "When I showed it to Salisbury,M said the king, "he looked hard at it and then said: 'Poor old Buller! I wonder if he's as stupid as he looks.'" For sick headache, bad breath, Sour Stomach and constipation. Get a 10-cent box now. No odds how bad your liver, stomach or bowels; how much your head aches, how miserable and uncomfort able you are from constipation, indiges tion, biliousness and'sluggish bowels ?you always get the desired results with Cascarets. Don't let your stomach, liver and bowels make you miserable. Take Cascarets to-night; put an end to" the ; headache, biliousness, dizziness, nerv ousness, sick, sour, gassy stomach, backache and all other distress; cleanse your inside organs of all the bile, gases and constipated matter which is producing the misery. A 10-cent box means health, happi ness and a clear head for months. No more days of gloom and distress if you will take a Cascaret now and then. All stores sell Cascarets. Don't forget the children?their little in* Bides need a cleansing, too. Adv. Place for Prayer. Probably few youngsters make such & matter-of-fact business of prayer as a certain little Chicago laddie. He was going to bed one night in an upper room, which was heated in the old fashioned way by a stovepipe running through the floor. A caller eat with the family in the room below, and this Is what floated down to the caller in the child's clear treble: "Oh, Billy, come over here by the stovepipe! It's a bully warm place to pray." rni nc jl i oHdiddi: VWkl/W U kauilll I k 5 or 6 doses 666 will break any case of Chills & Fever, Colds & LaGrippe; It acts on the liver better than Calo mel and does not gripe or sicken. Price 25c.?Adv. How They Love One Another. He?She is a decided blonde, iBn't she? She?Yes; she decided on the color scheme last week. Our idea of an earthly angel is ; a satisfactory wife. I Every business man knows how difficult of bia desk free from the accumulation of if ia tn Itaak her home frf of useless things. So it is with the body accumulation of waste matter. Unlesa the ery of the body soon becomes clogged. 1 DR.PI1 GOLDEN MEDIC Qn Tablet or Assists the stomach in the proper digest sustaining blood and all poisonous wast Nature's channels. It makes men and won to them the health and strength of youth. Saad 50 cents for a trial box of this medic Send 31 one-cent stamps for Dr. Adviser?1008 page*?worth $2. A! For Infants and Children. !e Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the In Use For Over Thirty Years SIMPLY REASONED IT OUT t ^ General Manager Could Form Only One Conclusion From Appearance of the Applicant "Poor girl!" said the general man ager, as, the young woman who had just applied for a position as stenogra pher walked out of his office. "What's her trouble?" asked the sec retary. "It's too bad that a girl when Is eo pretty?one who might be living in lux ury?is compelled to get out looking vfr\r>lr Ko^oneo cKfl rofncoH tn HfltAT) to her parents. You heard her say she was married, didn't you?" "Yes, but I didn't hear her mention her parents." "Evidently you have not developed much ability in the way of making de ductions. Why would a girl with such eyes, such hair, 6uch a complexion, such teeth, such a beautiful face and such a figure as her have to go out looking for work if she hadn't married against her parents' wishes?" GRANDMA USED SAGE TEA TO DARKEN HER GRAY HAIR She Made Up a Mixture of Sage Tea and Sulphur to Bring Back Color, Gloss, Thickness. Almost everyone knows that Sage Tea and Sulphur, properly compound ed; brings back the natural color and lustre to the hair when <aded, streaked or gray; also ends dandruff, etching scalp and stops falling haii^ Years ago the only way to get this mixture was to meke it at home, which is mussy and troublesome. Nowadays, by asking at any store for "Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Hair Remedy," you will get a large bottle of this ramous old recipe for about 50 cents. Don't stay gray! Try It! No one can possibly tell that you darkened your hair, as It does It so naturally and evenly. You dampen a sponge or soft brush with it and draw this through your hair, taking on? small strand at a time; by morning the gray hair disappears, and after another ap plication or two, your hair becomes beautifully dark, thick and glossy. Adv. Subway Elocution School. On the New York subway is a school car in which all new employes take lessons in car coupling, door clos ing and opening, signaling, the opera tion of motor and brake mechanism, car lighting and heating and what to do in emergencies. Among the sub jects taught is elocution. Each raw recruit has to learn how to shout loudly and clearly "Please watch your step" and call out the names of sta tions distinctly. Not One Alike. Our neighbor's wife reports this conversation with the young man who comes to take the grocery orders: "Step in and get warm?you look V* 1 ? frAvon " nail, nuiicu. ^ "Thank you, ma'arr^ It's queer weather we're getting." "Yes, it's so changeable." "That's the word, ma'am. We don't j get a single day alike, do we?"?Cleve ' land Plain Dealer. Healt ition jC h if Vas te it is to keen the Diceon holes and drawers useless papers. Every housewife knows :e from tho accumulation of all manner . It is difficult to keep it free from the i waste is promptly eliminated the maehin rhia is the beginning of moat human ills. PDfP'C :al discovery Liquid Form) ;ion of food, which is turned into health e matter is speedily disposed of through len clear-headed and able-bodied?restores Now is the time for your rejuvenation, ine. PiercuV Common Sense Medical I way* bandy in case of family iilnet*. ^r=^msmssss^? $ i . THE RULING PASSION STRONG IN SUFFRAGISM. Captain MacManus, master alliga tor, retired, glanoed carelessly at the universal sun clock and calendar em in the p-lnso ronf of. the dis patcher's room of the F.C. & A. Aerial line's New York float. The instrument Indicated that it was five minutes to midnight of August 1, 1962. "Hum," said the captain. "Time for the Western Woman's special to be signaling for cliproom. What's she carrying tonight, Timothy?" "Wait until you see!" said the dis patcher. "Captain Nellie Sky certain ly is bringing home the rare passen ger list tonight Ha! There's her ray working now. What! What's that? She's using her wireless phone for a long message. Something wrong, I guess." The dispatcher sprang to the glass cabinet, where the leaping signal rays had spelled out the news of the com ing of the Western Woman's special, and thrust his head into the rubber protected glass receiving hood. Two minutes later he stepped out and shook his head. "Those western girls certainly do cut up when, they come east on a junket," he said. "Rafferty," he said to an assistant, "notify our woman chief of police to have two officers here to meet the Woman'B special. Two passengers are under arrest, and further disorder threatening." "Great Scott!" said MacManus. "What's been happening on board the special?" "Oh, the same old stuff. Always disorder on these woman junkets. Row in the tearoom, as usual. Captain Nellie phones me that 6he's got two of them locked in their cabins and predicts a row when they land on the float. Here she comes now." Out of the darkness of midnight a flood of light broke upon the float and turned night into day. Instantly a clip on the port side opened its great iron arms, and a second later, out of nowhere, the Western Woman's spe "Because," she saU cial, whose dainty pink hull had trav eled from San Francisco to New York in 40, hours, came fluttering down with something bird-like in its movements, and settled into its berth with a gentle exhaust of ballast-gas that sounded like a contented, lady-like sigh. An electrical current blazed slight ly as it broke out the hermetic seals, a curved glass door slid open in the pilot-turret, and out stepped a master ly woman, whose square jaw and air of command, without the assistance of her delicately embroidered pink uni form, would have sufficed to mark her for the vessel's captain. "Short circuit my signal rays!" she exploded, saluting her senior, Captain AfacManus. "I certainly have had a trip that is almost enough to make a fellow wish that she was back in the -1 J "Via nniilrl V*axta cstovoH U1U Uttja, VT U^ll out WUIU uu.t avajvu quietly at home and let some man do this kind of work. Almost, but not quite. If there ever was a list of pas sengers calculated to make a single woman want to give up her right to vote by refusing to work, this is the one. Why, the tearoom hasn't been quiet a minute since we left the Mis sissippi. It's been an orgy for fair." "Who are the fair ladies who have been so?er?so lively?" asked Cap tain MacManus. "Delegates to the Woman's Repub lican convention," replied Captain Nel lie. "Everything from ex-governors to ward workers. It was to be expected that they would be quarreling before the ship was in the clips. It's that kind of a crowd." "And what might the cause of the row be?" asked MacManus. "The most serious thing in the world," said Miss Sky. "One dele gate said that another delegate was bid enough to have been one of the old-time suffragettes. Here! What jire you laughing at, Captain Mac Manus?" "i was thinking," chuckled the old \ PTATNIKaR^KacMANBS rnvam -yesp&a stIee J^acQoodd^ man; "I was just thinking what a funny world this persists in being in spite of the efforts of science to the contrary. You women never will be - ? j?i?if T*T/\Tnzir? Mnw lnnlr at ! cLLl y LUAllg UUl nuiuvii. me; when anybody says "to me, 'Cap tain -MacManus, you're old enough to remember the days of the suffra gettes,' I'm proud to say: 'Right you are.' But when one of you says the same to another, there's a battle in the tearoom and you have to put some body under arrest. Now, why is that, Captain Nellie; can you tell me?" Captain Sky sniffed. "Such conversation is too old fash ioned to resent, Captain MacManus." she said. "But for your benefit I will explain that the thoroughly modern woman does not get angry when re minded of her age. On the contrary she considers it a compliment. There are a few women left, however, who persist in allowing the old influence 'and prejudices of sex influence them. It happened to be one of these that started the trouble aboard the special. Ab for us?the modern women?you're ridiculous, Captain MacManus." "Then you. admit, Captain Nellie, that you yourself are old enough to remember the days of the suffra gettes?" tfeked MacManus, "What! Sir, how dare you!" qried Miss Sky. I'll have you know, sir, that I?" "Ho! Ho! That you are not over thirty-five, eh? I know, captain; I waB just trying you out." "You're a-horrid old wretch!" said the indignant offloeress. "I think you're real mean." "Those are harsh words, Captain Nellie." "I want them to be harsh." f "Then you are indignant because I insinuated?" > "No, I'm not; not a bit of It." "Then why did you want your words to be harsh?" Captain Sky tossed her head. "Because," she said, "That's why? because." "The same old reason," murmured old MacManus, "the same reason they J, "that's why?because." used to give before they could vote." "Can you really remember those days?" asked the determined airigator lne. "No; I'm not curious, not a bit of it; but?can you really?" * "I can. It was in the days of my youth that the plate-glass war, as the struggle in which women won the right to vote has since became known, was being fought. I saw those stir ring days." Captain Sky clasped her hands and beamed. "How perfectly thrilling, Captain MacManus!" she cried. "Do tell me about it, please. Oh, to have been one of those early- heroes! What a glqrious existence was theirs. Now?now there's nothing left for women to find fault with; they have f nnrn nra v fn fiv^rvthinp' Slioh R monotonous age as we live in. But, tell me, captain, why did they call It the plate-glass war?" Captain MacManus glanced mis chievously out of the corners of his eye^ at the Western Woman's special waiting in her clip for the captain's signal to open the glass hatches. At the liner's windows women might be seen clamoring to be allowed to land. Captain Nellie Sky heeded not. "Well," said MacManus, "it was in this way: Women were the most grasping beings tb you could imag ine in those days. They had acquired all the" world but the ballot. They ran the whole world. Stores were run wholly for their trade; plays were manufactured with the single eye to pleasing their tastes; books were writ ten and illustrated for their enter tainment; and so on down the whole list of everything?except the ballot. That was man'? last stronghold. He controlled that, and through that kept himself deceived into believing that he ran the world. He hung onto it for dear life; the ballot and his pants were the things he wouid not give up. "But the women had set their mindB & Hi on having it. First they made speech es demanding it. Then they wrote books demanding it After that there were parades. 'No,' said the men. 'You're not fit to vote.' Then the win dow breaking began. 'Why do you do it?' asked the men. 'Because,' says the women. 'Because why?' said the men. 'Just because,' said the wom en and heaved some more stones, to show how fit they were. Then the men got scared and put the throwers in jail. 'Ah!' says the women, 'we've got them at last. They can't stand to have their plate glass fronts smashed in. Sisters, arm and break some win dows.' "Pretty soon it got so that all the women were breaking windows. 'Good morning,' says one to the other, 'have you smashed any store fronts?' 'Not yet,' says the other. 'They're all broken up my way; I'm waiting for new ones to be put in.' "No man's window was safe in those days. They smashed the glazed door of Morgan's private office. Gentlemen sitting down for a quiet little game in their Fifth avenue clubs had a brick come flying in through their sacred windows. Nothing was sacred. The world was threatened with glass less windows. It would Jiave meant the world's end. The world was all business then, and most business was done on a front, and you can't have a front without glass, and there you are. " 'Will you be nice and stop break ing glass if we let you vote?' says the men. " 'We'll Btop breaking windows,' said the women. 'That's all we'll prom ise.' " Tou're always nice, except for that,' said the men, not being such fools as the historians of these days would make out. " 'Well, if you say so, of course? says the women;' and then the men let them have their votes, and the plate ! glass war came to a happy end. -- "And afterwards the men found how they had been double-crossed. Scient ists began to investigate why the women had taken to breaking glass, instead ,of something else. Their dis coveries showed the sublety of wom ankind compared to the simple mind of man. The more broken glass there was the cheaper became those little hand-mirrors that women can't get along without even today, so the dear ladies were really killing two birds with the same stones." "Huh!" sniffed Captain Nellie. "I don't believe that at all. Women never were such slaves to the mirror as all that." "No?" said Captain MacManus. "fey the way, Captain Nellie, how did that dab of machine oil come on your nose, and what makes your hair hang down so funny?" Captain Nellie dashed to a mirror that hung on the float. "And by the way, Captain Nellie," persisted the old man, "your passen gers have been waiting to disembark for fifteen minutes." "Well, they'll have to wait some more," muttered Captain Nellie, dab bing with a powder rag. "I simply look a perfect fright."? (Copyright, lay Wi G. Chatiman-t Explorer Not Practical. Dillon Wallace, who accompanied Leonard Hubbard on his foolishly planned and worse executed trip into Labrador ten years ago, has now chiseled an inscription on a rock where poor Hubbard died. He de scribes Hubbard as an "intrepid ex plorer and practical Christian," a phrase on which a sermon might ba preacnea. mirepia nuDara was, out hiB reliance upon Deity to make up for his own bad judgment was pathetic? was, in fact, tragic, and gives to Wallace's term "practical Christian" a grim if unconscious humor. Virtue, unhappily, does not take the place of venison nor piety of pemmican, and if Mr. Wallace's exceedingly interest ing record of the iHubbard party's mis adventure may be relied upon there seldom has been more eloquent illus tration of the sententious old proverb: "The Lord helps them who help them selves." The Fur's Purpose. Miss Elsie De Wolfe, who is re garded as the best dressed woman in New York, was talking in the smok ing room of the Colony club about-the new winter fashions: "An evening gown," she said, "la of the filmiest and most diaphanous white, with a border of fur. "This fur border is put on for beauty?not for the reason that old Golde's wife gave the other day. "Golde's wife came down to him In a delicate white decollete gown bor dered with sable. Golde admired it, but said: " 'I don't quite see what purpose the fur serves, my dear.' "'Oh,'don't you?' cried Mrs. Golde. 'Well, It's just to show that I can afford it.'" Found a Way to Illumine the Camp. "Get your tent up," said Heine Gla man to his fellow hunters the other night, according to the Wellington News, and I'll furnish the light." When the tent was up he ran his auto up close, ran a line of wire into it [ from the machine and turned the j switch. It made a brilliant light for the tent and made the ensuipg game I of "pitch" much more pleasant. The light would have run for many nights [ without recharging the battery, and if | there had been any weakening it I would have been necessary to start up the engine and run for a short time to recharge it. Something you didn't know before, isn't it??Kansas City Star. Population of Earth. The population of the entire earth fa nrnnnd 1.600.000.000?one thousand six hundred millions. Of this number Asia has over half, 850,000,000; Africa, 127,000,000; North America, 120,000, 000; South America, 45,000,000; Aus tralia, 5,000,000; Europe, oS0,000,000; polar regions, 300,000. There are no means of estimating the increase of the earth's population, owing to the paucity of statistics and the compara tively recent date at which any sort of statistics were possible. Hut it is safe to say that from now on, owing to the spread of science, the human increase will be greater than ever be fore. nt-ss, unselfishness, sincerity and refine ment, and these are bred in years, not In moments. y\ HINTS, HELPS AND GOOD DISHES. When making soups, sauces, cat sups, or anything that needs strain ing or putting through a sieve, use the ordinary flour sifter, or keep one for that purpose. The use of the crank will do the work in half the time it takes to rub food through with a spoon. When wash dresses are mussed wunout Deing soiled, or are even soiled, rub with a cloth wet In cold starch until clean, and dampen the whole with a cloth wet in the starch, and the dress will press and look like new. Cut soft pieces of flannel the size of the child's soles, and with the white of egg paste them inside and keep the little people from having cold feet. A heavy piece of cloth cut from men'B trousers the size of the rubber sole and pasted Inside will be a wonderful help to keep anybody's feet warm In cold weather. To clean furs, take a pan of bran, heat it hot, and rub and wash the furs in it as if it were water. Then pound with a stick until all the bran is out; hang out to air and the furs will be as sweet and clean as if done by a professional. One woman who has excellent palms and ferns buys cheap coffee and gives them a drink of the brew every week. A few drops of olive oil in the ba by's milk will keep her well without other medicine. When it is necessary to give costor oil, add a few drops of the oil of anise. It makes It taste bet ter and the oil will not be so apt to gripe the baby. . When darning a large hole In black hose, baste on a piece of black net ting and darn through it, skipping ev ery other mesh. The biggest holes may be easily and neatly filled this way. Irish Stew.?Grearae the bottom of a kfittlfl with suet and nnt in four pounds oi tender beef. Turn carefully until brown. Add four sliced carrots, two onions, six peppers, six potatoes and a pint of boiling water. Simmer until the vegetables are cooked, then remove. Heat a spoonful of sugar un til brown, stir into the gravy, add a tablespoonful of Worcestershire sauce, pepper and salt, and serve with the vegetables heaped around the meat When baking sweet potatoes, put a dish of hot water in the oven near them. They will not be tough and dry. A slice of ham browned and then simmered in sweet cider is a deli cious change from the every day fried or broiled variety. However 'tis expedient to be wary Indifference certes don't improve dis tress, And rash enthusiasm in good society Were nothing but a moral inebriety. ; ' ?Byron. THE POPULAR CANAPE. uanape is a rxencii term mmwim couch, or bed. In the culinary sense It Is used as a bed on which to rest savory foods. The canape Is served as an appe tizer. To prepare a canape, cut slice* of bread a quarter of an inch thick, then cut with a two-inch cutter into rounds or in any shape desired. Saute in butter and set aside to cool. For caviare canape the following method of preparation Is used: Cream a quarter of a cup of butter, add salt and paprika to taste, and mix with us much finely minced water cress as will give It a fine flavor. The cress is chopped and squeezed dry before add ing to the butter. When ready to serve, spread the toast with the but-, ter, then a layer of caviare on top, a little lemon juice squeezed over and serve. 1 pilve Canapes.?Prepare the toast as above and cut 4nto delicate circles; place on each a coiled anchovy and put a stuffed olive in the center of each coil. Garnish with olives and capers minced fine. Cheese Canapes.?Prepare the toast ed circles of bread and sprinkle with a thick layer of grated cheese, sea soned with salt and cayenne. Place on a baking sheet and put Into a hot oven to melt the cheese. Serve at once. Ham Canapes.?Prepare the toast and spread with butter; on each cir cle place a thin slice of ham which nas Deen ugimy spreau wiiu uiuo tard. Over this spread a layer of cold white sauce which has been sea soned with finely minced onion, a dash of cheese and cayenne. Sprlnile but tered crumbs lightly over the canapes and set In a hot oven fi7e minutes. Careful. The case before the court Involved a gang of thieves, and one of the ac cused, a woman, had been found guilty of keeping and maintaining a "fence." The penalty was two years in state's prison. As the judge finished pro nouncing the sentence, the prisoner called out to her husband, who had managed to get off by pleading an niihi and was among the spectators: "Don't forget, Bill, to take the plumes out of my winter hat and put 'em away In camphor."?New York Evening Post Mexican Stamp of Artec Origin. The Mexican stamp bears the coat of-arms of the country, an eagle on a cactus, holding a serpent in its talons. This device is the outgrowth of n legend that the first Aztec settlers chose the site of their city from see ing an eagle so engaged, and situated at that spot. Serious Part Begins. Jack?"Well, old man, she has ac cepted me and named the day. That's a load off my heart." Tom?"Yes, now the load is on your shoulders." GAS, DYSPEPSIA 111 nsni "Pape's Diapepsin" settles sour, gassy stomachs in five minutes?Time Itl You don't want a slow remedy when your stomach is bad?or an uncertain one?or a harmful one?your stomach is too valuable; you mustn't Injure it. Pape's Diapepsin is noted for its sneed in riving relief: its harmless* ness; Its certain unfailing action In regulating sick, sour, gassy stomachs.. Its millions of cures In Indigestion, dyspepsia, gastritis and other stomach trouble has made it famous the "world over. Keep this perfect, stomach doctor In your home?keep it handy?get a large fifty-cent case from any dealer and then if anyone should eat something which doesn't agree with them; If * . what they eat lays like lead, ferments * and sours and forms ,gas; causes head* ache, dizziness and nausea; eructa- ' tions of acid and undigested food remember as soon as Pape's Diapepsin. comes in contact with the stomach all such distress vanishes. Its prompt* ness, certainty and ease in overcoming ; the worst stomach disorders is a reve lation to those who try it?Adv. NOT MUCH OF A PROBLEM Observing Boy Had 8ure Way of Q? y termlning the Breed of Chicken 8erved for Dinner. / i y'fi At, a recent dinner in a suburban district, where; all the guests were amateur chicken raisers, after a dis cussion of the egg problem the conver sation turned to the best breed of hens. After the good points of Orp ingtons, Minorcae, Leghorns anskoth ers had all been brought forth the host said: < " "Well, the ultimate end of every chicken is the pot, and you can't tell tne difference wnen it is on ine iaDie. Let's see how many can tell what kind of a hen we have Just eaten." All agreed it was a very good Mnd, but there were manygu esses as to the breed. The only child at the table, a twelve-year-old boy, was the one who gueseed fcorrectly. The host beamed on him and eald: "Jimmie, how did yon know it was a Plymouth Rock?", "Oh, that was easy," he replied. "I found a feather in the gravy/" FACE FULL OF PIMfiffiL. Ruffln/N. C.?"My face became full of pimples and blackheads, and would Itch, burn and smart The skin was rough And .red. I was really ashamed of my face. My arms and back were'affected almost as badly. The pimples would fester and there would come a dry scab on top. The trouble caused my face to be dlsflfr ured badly and the Itching would both er me so I Could not sleep well hlgh& especially during warm weather. "The trouble lasted me three long years without anything doing me any good jintil a friend told me about Cutf cura Soap and Ointment and then I decided to try them. After the irsfc application 1 could see some improve* ment After using Cuticura Soap and Ointment two weeks I di\l not look- <"f \ like the same person; i&ost of the pimples had disappeared. At the end of four weeks I was completely \/ cured." (Signed? Miss Mamie Mitch' > ell, Jan. 9, 1918. Cuticura Soap and Ointment fold r:: throughout the world. Sample or eacn. j \ free,with 82-p. Skin Book. Address post card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston."?Ad*? ? His Turn for the Feather. Two motorists, having almost rained their tempers? arid their tires?in a vain attempt to find a hotel with a vacant bed, were at last forced to make the best of a small inn. Even then they had to share a bed, 1 which was?and on this the landlord ] laid great stress?a feather bed. They turned in, and one of the pair was soon fast asleep; the other waa Qot He could not manage to dodge, the bumps and heard hour after hou* strike on the church clock until 3 a? m., when he also struck. < , V He did this by violently shaking his snoring friend > < ? W' vj "What's the matter?' growled th? other. "It can't be time to get up tr yet?" "No, it iaa't," retorted his friend, v; continuing to shake him, "but it's my turn to eleep on the feather!' RUB-MY-TISM Will cure your Rheumatism and an kinds of aches and pains?Neuralgia* Cramps, Colic, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts, Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antisepti? Anodyne. Price 25c.?Adv. "Mother." Answers to the question "What 1ft Mother?" given by supposedly feeble* minded Bchool children of New York: She's what you chop wood for. She's what feeds you. She's what puts clothes and shoes oa you. She keeps care of you. She's who's good to you., / She's your creator. She's what's dead on to me. Best composite portrait of a mothj ever painted.?New York American.] ARE YOU CONSTIPATED! Wright's Indian Vegetable J?ill/ proved their worth for 76 years. Tg yourself new. Send for sample to 8t., New York. Adr. Certainly frightened. Footelighte?"Awful cas< fright at the theater, last Miss Sue Brette?"Did "No; It was the authj whom they dared to( curtain." TTse Roman Eye nation in eyea and eyelids. Adv. "What hibition I "What, ! on the