The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, September 21, 1910, Image 2
The Abbeville Press and Banner,
PUBLISHED WEEKLY
? AT ?
ABBEVILLE, S. C.
We are at the mercy of the aviators.
As we remember it now, winter had
some good points.
To orphan banana republics the fa- (
tlierland refuses to be a mother. t
Now here come the dentists -with
that anti-kissing thing, too.
Going swimming looks like the only
rational employment in hot weather.
The army may have to help devise
means for a sane artillery drill.
! Are there any records that this ]
year's weather has not broken? j
' t
Europe might try exporting Its surplus
rainwater to our middle west.
As a diversion to swatting the fly,
keep your stable clean, if you've got
one.
Chopping Americans Into little bits
Is still a favorite pastime of the
Moros.
/ "
Speaking o! weights and measures
prosecutions, how'd you like to he the
Iceman?
Swatting the common house fly is
now one of our most popular indoor
lady sports.
Even though the water Is fine, if
you can't swim, don't go in beyond
your depth.
For the sake of thirsty crops any
good citizen should willingly sacrifice
' 1
His straw nat.
t
"What's the right word for an aero- c
plane garage?" asks the Boston Globo.
How's planebunk? f
c
What has become of the .Chicago 5
307 rider who killed a woman and *
was afterward captured? h
n
Tho assistant chef of a lake boat d
refused to cook fried potatoes and the t'
chef at once mashed him. C
t:
The boat rocker and the fellow who t
stands up in the boat are in evidence
again, but have escaped so far. t!
f:
As If It wore not bad enough for fi
the earth to fly up and hit aeroplanes,
lightning has begun striking them.
ii
What bald-headed man had hoped b
to live to see a flyless world? Yet r
that i3 what the scientists are planning.
Giddy New York regards the idea of
closing its lobster palaces at 1 a. m.
as very little better than a curfew
law.
We wonder how one small cone can
hold so many kinds of chemicals,and
bave room left for a nickel's worth of
Ice cream. E
E
It costs $3,000,000 a day to run the c
national government. What will the
government cost when aeroplaning is ^
In fashion?
A Chicago man paid $300 for "mere s
bit of a meal." It probably was a s
steak with one overlaying slice of t
breakfast bacon.
P
The government is turning out 3.- ^
000,000 postal cards a day, due to the v
Bummer resort season being in full
"blast, we presume. s
h
United States certificates of merit c
to enlisted men are going largely to 1;
the cooks and musicians. Has no one ^
a word for a soldier? j,
c
Rudyard Kipling urges that airmen
wear pneumatic armor for protection ^
in case of accident. That is simpler c
than covering the earth with feather t
beds. a
t
Considering the sire of the heads of
some of the hatpins that the girls are ?
wearing, they certainly do not come
under the law forbidding the carrying
of concealed weapons.
*
The word-colner nas an easy tasK.
All he needs to do in expressing his
views on a public policy is to select
the name of a man he dislikes and attach
the syllable "ism." .
London and New York may soon be 1
connected with telephone communica- J
tlon. None of the fictious of fairy j
tales can surpass this modern miracle \
of a chat over the ocean. c
The Kaiser has been writing poetry {
to a party of German maidens who ]
called upon him and took him choco- t
late. Incidentally, it is to be hoped ]
the chocolate was better than the i
poetry. ?
One of the latest aeroplane accl- <
fients shows that It is bad to be in a (
flying machine hit by lightning, in the ?
oiv Rut whore is be-ine struck by j
lightning either comfortable or salu- ]
hrious?
Some of New York's most wealthy ,
and fashionable women are importing
French aeroplanes and preparing to
learn to aviate. Philadelphia women
have taken the lead at Newport, and
there seems to be nothing for the New
York ladles to do but fly high around
fcome.
The man who rescued his mother-inlaw
from his burning home and left i
his fishing tackle to the mercy of the I
flames may have been absent minded, j
Charitable benedicts will do well tc i
give him the benefit of the doubt until i
he is found guilty. !
A returned missionary from Han- '
how district says that the Chinese are
manifesting less hostility to foreign- 1
en. Sure. They're a square business :
race, but, missionary or not. you've 1
got to produce the check before you
4get the washing.
S&3
ft Odd News Fr
iiy^t Stories of Strange
jpjrfj! Metropolil
IT1
Lj L
Sell Eggs by the P
I NOT BEEN )Oyf^i
iTE^\T YORK. ? Produce dealers
ll throughout the country are watchng
with interest the enforcement of
he ordinance recently passed in Now
fork requiring dealers to sell eggs by
lie pound. H'UBU t'ggfc <"C sum UJ
)Ound the buyer is more likely to get.
ill that is coming to him. It is con:eded
that a fresh egg of average size
veighs more than one that is stale,
here being always more or less, evaporation
when an egg ccme3 out of storige.
The difference is about an egg
o the pound, eight fresh eggs being
!Qual to nine out of storage.
It Is only the idealist or the optimist
vho believes that eggs are either good
>r bad, with no half-way about the
natter. Really this is a fond delusion,
"here are as many grades of eggs as
here are ways of making an omelet,
""he range is all the way from that
are article, the honestly labeled
strictly fresh" egg down to the "cull."
fhe cull is a doubtful egg from the
tart, but sometimes deposits, and
merges months later. Even then it
s not as low as an egg can sink, for
here is the desiccated egg, which was
aid in China, and has been a world
raveler before getting to the ultimate
onsumer here.
These desiccated eggs are removed
rom their shells in China, put into
ans with preservatives, and then
hipped across the Pacific and the coninent
to this city, where they are sold
u bulk for use in bread and pastry
IflVIno In tho r?V> on nor hnborioc Qnmo
oubt has been raised as to the nutriIve
value and legality of those fresh
Jhina eggs as a food product. But
hey have one great advantage, from
he consumer's point of view?no way
as been discovered yet of putting
hem into shells and selling them as
resh laid eggs from a Long Island
arm.
New Yorkers are not apt to get anyhing
more foreign in the way of eggs
a their shells than the product of the
cnneries of Germany and Austria.
Phis Woman a Moc
LEVEL A. ND.?White as a sheet
^ and shaking like a leaf, Mrs. H. G. 1
Slandford, Shady Cove, Lakewood, I
toori fnr three In a-reat RTivletv
n the lake front in the rear of her
ome the other morning watching Big*
,als of distress from six men in a
wamped power boat three miles from
hore in a choppy sea.
This was after she had done everyhing
in her power to save the imeriled
men. Mrs. Blandford was
aoking out on the lake when her atention
was attracted by something
rhite waving of! shore. Immediately
thought struck her it was a dangsr
ignal. She rushed into the house for
er field glasses, and through them
ould plainly distinguish six men in a
nunch bailing water with all their
light. One of the men was franticaly
waving a white clcth fastened to a
ane.
She hurried to the telephone in her
iome and called up the life-saving
rew. Then, you should have seen
hat woman, standing full of anguish
,nd anxiety watching the men in disress.
She waved hc-r handkerchief
Waging Wat on t!
5ALTIM0RE.?The Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
s waging a war of extermination on
vorthless and ownerless curs. In one
lay 109 such dogs inhaled carbonic
icid gas, administered by the agents
>f the society, and out went their
ives. Their bark ceased forever and
heir bito Is a danger of the past,
hundreds of degs have been caught
jy tho society's agents during the
summer months and destroyed.
"Where do all these worthless dogs
:ome from?" This question was asked
?eorge M. Diedeman, secretary to the
Society for Prevention of Cruelty to
\nlmals. "The city has its own sup-<lv."
Raid Mr. Diedeman. "This 6unDly
Nerve-Racking N'
ST. LOUIS.?That the majority of
people would live to be more than
i hundred years old in these days of
scientific comforts if nerve-racking
and unnecessary noises were eliminated
is the belief of Dr. Charles H.
Hrghes, one of the city's nationally
known neurologists.
The noises of civilization are more
liian a nuisance, says the doctor. They
are a peril to the public health, because
they rob people of restful sleep, i
No one in the crowded section of
cities, these days, gets as much sleep
\
<&?J
om Big Cities jfj
^-j?r^-..?uj. ?l ...- -xrLM ijhff
Happenings in the i jUl^
tan Towns !jj^
ound in New York
Within a week, SO,000 dozen of eggs
from those countries have been received
in New York City by way of Hull,
England, and are now in the local marwet.
As many more are on the way,
and they sell for a few cents less than
the American egg. Covered with a
paraffin preparation which excludes
the air, they remain in the "fresh"
class for a long time.
Dr. Harvey W. Wiley, the vgoernment
food expert, told congress,
through a committee, that there is only
one sure way to get a fresh egg?
that is to watch the hen, seize her egg
the instant she lays it, boil It or fry
it on the spot and eat immediately before
a commission merchant or a cold_i?r^nr>
cods unn That Is not
b IU LiZfcXs uiaii oww ^ VWI
always practicable. Another test Is to
drop the egg In a bowl of water containing
a 10 per cent solution of common
salt. If the egg sinks it is fresh;
If it floats it is only fresh in a trade
sense, which Is an entirely different
matter. Just what a poor showing the
egg, consumed In this city every day
would make under such a test is
shown by a simple sum in arithmetic.
Assuming that the population of
New York City is 4,000,000, there are
enough eggs sold for every man, woman
and child in the town to have one
a day. Putting it in the figures of the
trade, there are 72,000 cases of eggs
used by the New York people every
week. Each case contains thir:y
dozen, so the total for every seven-day
period is 2.1G0.000 dozen, or approximately
28,000,000 eggs. That Is what
the town eats. But the receipts of
1 ^rroro crslrl thorp "WIT Yl
1116 genuine ncsu c&sj dv?u -
In a week after tlielr production on
near-by farms do not exceed 5,400,000
eggs, as against that total of 28,000,000.
So the 22,000,000 and odd eggs
must come out of the cold storage and
from the foreign supply and the shipments
from remote sections of this
country.
It Is possible that If the New York
idea of selling eggs by the pound
proves practical and satisfactory other
cities may follow sv.lt. If they do the
wholesaler declares the retailer must
rearrange his prices to suit. So far as
the former is concerned the rates are
not affected. The average weight of a
case of eggs is from 43 to 53 pounds,
dependable upon freshness and size.
iern Grace Darling
and screamed frantically to them.
Finally, she ran into the house, unfastened
the horn from the phonograph
and used it as a megaphone.
The wind was so strong, however,
that her voice failed to reach the
men.
It was sometime before the lifesaving
boat hove into sight. When the
crew did come, they could not make
directly for the distressed boat, but
were forced to describe a circular
path of several miles before they
could reach them.
The six men aboard the launch
were members of a vacation party.
They left early in the morning in a
rough sea, and vaen about three
miles off Highland avenue the waves
became so high as to reach over into
the boat. The water crippled the engine,
and the men were at the mercy
of the sea. About all they could do
was to cast anchor and bail the water
out as It was rusting in, and try to
signal some one on shore.
Captain Hansen and his crew of
life-savers finally reached the boat
and rescued the imperilled men. Ordinarily
the life-saving crew is first
to espy any boating accident, but on
this particular occasion the crew we.s
out on another call and had it not
been for the efforts of Mrs. Blandford
before the attention of the crew
the men would likely have perished
cculd have been attracted.
be Worthless Curs
is largely augmented by daily arrivals
from the country round about. They
wander into the city from the suburbs.
lose their way and become marauders
until they fall into the hands
of our agents. That Is the last heard
of them."
"How about the supply of worthless
meowing cats that live in garbage
boxes and make sleep impossible at
night?"
"There is no diminution in their
supply. The cats, like the dogs, are
ever with us. The cat is a more elunnimol
fV?or? fViA A r\cr Tf nor* olrin
over the backyard fences and hide in
inaccessible places. The dog can't
climb. The cat is harder, therefore,
to capture. We hesitate to deal with
cats in many cases because warring
neighbors often grab each other's pet
cats and send them to us for final
treatment. We are thus made innocent
parties to family quarrels. We
are doing all we can, however, to ex- ;
terminate cats."
oises of the City
as he ought to have. The people who
are renovating the slums, seeking to
give the residents of tenement districts
fresh and pure air, are doing
good work, hut they would do a greater
work if they would give the people
more rest Restful sleep is quite as
essential as go6d food. Every adult
should have at least seven or eight
hours of perfect, dreamless, rebuilding
sleep; but with all tho noises; of
the city this seems almost impossible.
I To rob a person of sleep is as much
thievery as to put your hand into his
pocket and take his money, for adequate
sleep means money, health and
llfo to the man who must labor in order
to live. The coming generations
will pay as much attention to promoting
rest to the citizens of the commonwealth
as to guarding them
agapnst poisonous mlcrobic influences.
Mr. William A. Radford will answer
questions and give advice FREE OF
COST on all subjects pertaining to the
subject of building for the readers of
this paper. On account of his wide experience
as Editor, Author and Manufacturer,
he la, without doubt, the highest
authority on all these subjects. Address
Ell inquiries to William A. Radford, No.
154 Fifth Ave., Chicago, 111., and only
enclose two-cent stamp. for reply.
The subject of cement construction
for homes has attracted much attentioi^among
architects in the last few
years, and on account of the popular
demand for such houses Is bound to remain
In the front. There is no ques
tion that the well-built oement house
Is 30th economical and sanitary. It
Is warm In winter and cool in summer.
Now, lest there be some prejudice
in the mind of any reader, it may
Tint h*? n?t nf nlaca to make a little
refore*ce to one of the aspects of the
cenient construction field that may
remove that prejudice, or help to, at
least It Is a fact that some poor
work has been done, especially with
concrete blocks. A campaign was
made over the country a few years
ago by the machinery men who had
concrete block machinery to sell urging
every man to buy a machine and
go Into the business of making blocks.
Alluring inducements even were offered,
and thousands of men bought
machines who were no more fitted to
make concrete blocks as they should
be made, than they were to crochet
fancy work. The making of good
concrete, whether in the form of
blocks or in walls, is no boy's job. 1^
requires Intelligence, just as any coc*
structlon work does. Now, the concrete
block should net be condemned
for what the offenders against it have
done. It is human nature to judge
* " ?- * * A - A M J
tilings 07 ineir worst auu
the men who made blocks that absorb
water or crumble have done a great
mischief to the block. There are
throughout the country thousands of
well built concrete block houses that
will stand forever and are moisture
proof. But one poor house will create
tn adverse Impression that a dozen
good houses cannot overcome. The
writer knows of many fine cement
houses that attest the value of cement
In homo construction. Cement Is
pliable and capable of being adapted
to nearly any design the architect
may select
Cement houses require no repairs
whatever, and the older they get the
more nearly like stone they become.
Cement work placed In the Coliseum
of Rome Is as strong today as it was
yrsnzgWcy:: flJ)
"""j
laundry v ^ i
I -)[a] |itMMUMjxaxcBitjS
KrTCHEA]
f<5| M J\ io^o-Kia'cr
p^ns
rUSMACEjfeODM. jj
J 'jj ' CQAL^M^
bit?? mjdmaa?i??
it!? =
First Floor Plan
2,000 years ago when It was put there.
So in selecting the materials for the
construction of a homo or even of any
other structure that It Is desired
should be lasting no better material
than cement can be selected.
Ndw, for cement construction the
design of the home shown here la perfectly
adapted. This house may be
built of eight-Inch concrete blocks for
tho walls and for the porch, and the
round porch columns may be of
moldod cement The design calls for
an elaborate basement Here the
furnace room will be located and also
the kitchen, toilet, a laundry and
coal bin. On the main floor there Is
a good sized living room, a dining
room and , two bedrooms. The size
of the house IS 23 feet 6 Inches wide
and 87 feet long. If It Is possible a
site should be selected for the house
where gravel will be available on the
ground for the making of the blocks.
This can be taken from the excavation
for the basement If that is done
It Tvin greatly reduce the cost. Tho
blocks 6hould all be made In ad
ranee and allowed plenty 01 ome 10
cur a. The secret of making a concrete
block that will be Impervious to water
1b to use a well graded frravel,
that is. a gravel In which the stones
rary in sixe from sand to stores a
half Inch in diameter. Tho cement
bould be sound and plenty of it
I
I should be used, with a waterproofing
of hydrated lime In the (ace. The mli|
Ing should be thorough and plenty of
water should be used. If these direci
tions are followed a block will result
J that will bo waterproof. While the
blocks are curing they should be sprinkled
three tlnles a day for a -week or
ten days without fall.
The design also Is adapted for con*
structlon of frame either with the
?>ed ecdm p jj
1-Js-XiOA* p ;i
^ DinimgRm
.lo-axu-o'
oath bEM
EjedEodm I
t-oxii-o- I livimgEM ;!
i i io-<i'xis*o' ;)
CuOi jE.KfTRY /
-JL:{jLmm
Porch mil
lo-OMt-ar . i
s_ -8^8@
Second Floor Plan
usual siding on the outside or with a
cement 6tucco finisn. n cemeni biuoco
Is used either wooden lath can b3
placcd over furring strips with tar
paper underneath or metal lath can
be used.
"Dental Divination."
In Paris the theory that man's soul
and also woman's, is revealed by the
length, shape, Inclination and spacing
of the teeth has been put forward by
certain dentlat-physlclans, and society
is greedily grasping at the novelty.
The new method of "dental divination"
Is declared to be much more certain
than palmistry, mind reading,
phrenology, or such old-fashioned diversions
as fortune telling by cards
and teacups. One newspaper announces
that invitations aro already
out for a "dentomacy seance." Here
ere some of the "secrets" which the
new "science" professes to lay bare:
Long, narrow teeth indicate vanity;
teeth small, separated and very white
are a certain sign of Inconstancy and
fickle character; long, irregular teeth,
projecting forward, are an index of
avarice and egoism; small, uneven
teeth indicate an uncertain disposition,
with a tendency to nervousness;
untruthfulness Ib shown by tepth
which crowd and overlap.
Walklna Is Fashionable.
Carriages and motor cars fo? shop
ping and short-distance vlBlts axe for
tho moment In disfavor In London and
the latest fad among women Is to
walk. One of the reasons for this Is
that owing to the large number of
canceled social engagements as a result
of the national mourning women
have time to shop with leisure and
comfort. Instead of rushing from concert
to reception, etc., every afternoon,
they make informal calls on old
friends. Usually in tho season the
London society woman rarely walks a
step. She has neither time nor inclination.
PhysicIafcB are encouraging the fad
and are doing their best to make delicate
patients try it. They are recommending
it as a cure for jaded nurves.
Slowly, but surely walking is becoming
the most fashionable pursuit of
this dull season.
Women will make time to walk. It Is
predicted, and England will once more
be able to boast of her feminine pej?A*
Vial* miloa A
UUKUiaUD wuu uu utvu ..M.v, ?
day easily, as they used to do 20 years
ago.?New York Sun.
Mr. Carnogle'i Coat of Arms.
A finely finished drawing, representative
of both the weaver's and the
shoemaker's craft. In which Is introduced
the shuttle and the knife, the
Scotch thistle and the boar's head?
- i- UAA 4..?+
til? weaver a cumi 01 urujo?uon j?b?.
been placed in a position of honor in
Sid bo castle. On the occasion of the
drive last summer, which is annually
provided by Mr. Carnegie to the old
folks of his native town, who have
been connected with hand loom weaving,
the Laird of Bklbo wrote recalling
the fact that his ancestors on
his father's side were weavers, and on
his mother^ side shoemakers, and
that his emblems of nobility would
naturally be a weaver's shuttle crossed
by a shoemaker's knife. "Some of the
old weaverB," Mr. Carnegie added,
"may think over a proper motto."?
Westminster Oazetta.
, * 3S '/
HOW HE WON OUT.
"Oh, George," she cried, In perplexed
tones, "I'm afraid we must part"
"Part? Why must we part, dear?"
he echoed.
"On account of father," she replied;
"he fears we would be mismated. We
are so very different, he says."
"In what way are we so different?"
he asked, with a show of dignity.
"Well, father says I am of such
a ready and willing disposition, while
you seem so?so backward, so re
mciani, ana nesuaung; bu?so iua iu
to come to the?the point, don't you
know."
"He does, does he?" blustered
George, bracing up, and the very next
afternoon she was showing her girl
friends how stunning it looked on the
linger of her left hand.
Wise Johnnie. .
"Johnnie!"
"Yes'm?"
"Why are you sitting on that boy's
race?"
"Why, I?"
"Did I not tell you to always count
a hundred before you gave way to 1
passion and struck another boy?" 1
"Yes'm, and I'm doin' it; I'm just
settin' on his face so he'll be here
when I'm done countin' the hundred."
Raff!/*c? RInnHnr
Raffles, Jr., had teen caught with
the plunder In his rooms. "What a
chump I was," he sighed bitterly, "not
to have told the officers I had made a
pleasure tour of the country and had
collected these articles from the different
summer hotels as souvenirs."
And Just then Sherlock Kolmes
loomed up In the distance.
Discouraged.
"Parker has given up all hope of
getting a divorce from his wife."
"Why so?"
"He tried the old device of opening (
the Bible to see what text he would
hit and his eye met: 'In their death
they were not divided.' "?The Widow.
Not a Fraction.
Bleeker?How's your better half this
morning, oia man;
Meeker?Better half! What do you <
mean by that?
Bleeker?Why, your wife, of course.
Meeker?Huh! She's not my better t
half?she's the whole thing. t
GENTLEMANLY QUALIFICATIONS.
1
hHrkkm
"*** CcCo re (,pi
?AKC-O. 1
First Twentieth Century Girl?I *
never had any opinion of Adam. A ^
man who could excuse himself by
saying "the woman tempted me" had ^
none of the Instincts of a gentleman. 1
Second Girl?What could you expect
of the first man? You know it takes
A1 ? + f/N mol-n ft con Ma.
lUlt'e gcuciauuja iu muuu u
nan.
Looking Forward.
In the great future there will come a day
When wo a path of confidence may
tread
And learn exactly what our great men
Bay,
Instead of what somebody says they
said.
Opinions Aired.
"Were the commencement exercises
Interesting?"
"Very. The time was divided between
advice from public men on the
selection of a career and suggestions
from graduates on how to run the
government" *
t
In the Front Row. 1
A Denver society girl was out oa a
ranch recently. Upon her return to t
ber home her mother asked her If she 1
had seen any little chickens out there. *
"No," replied the girl, "the woman
told me none had been hatched yet,
out that she had four hens seated." 1
^
A Reasonable Fellow.
"What sort of a clerk does he
mske?"
"He's open to argument And when
I can convince him that a piece of
work comes within his province and
that he was hired to do It, he is effi
dent. i
i
Perhaps Both.
"Russia has ordered Oscar Hammer
stein not to come there."
"Is that because she has it in for
Hammersteln or for tho United
States?" 1
? c
Neck and Neck.
"The price of cigarettes has gone
jp."
"Gee! Tho cost of dying is trying t
to keep up with/the cost of living!"
More Natural Facilities.
"So you like the seashore better
than the mountains?! e
"No, indeed; I plpfer the moun- c
tains." I 1:
"Then why are yotijoln to the aea- ^
shore?" I
"Because It Is eastern there to get in- r
'o the swim." I p
High Finance.
"Look here, you've owed me $5 for
Ive years." a
"What are ytm complaining about? ti
rotfVe Only t>??n out a dollar a year."
: * vj
RAIN AND ROSES.
Life ain't all sua an' roses.
As people ought to know;
If wasn't any showers
The roses wouldn't grow. '
Life ain't toil easy eallln*, t ^.
They's brakera more or less; " f
If waan't any failures "
We wouldn't know success.
The roses need the sunshine.
Also a little rain;
Life needs a lot o' pleasure.
Also a little pain.
Too much of one or t'other
Is harmful, goodness knows;
Then let us keep on hopln*
To bk>ssom like the roset
In the Old Farmhouse.
"Well, I'll declare!" exclaimed the
:ity boarder who reads every item In
:he papers before breakfast. "If here
sn't an account of a sacred cow dls:overed
In Egypt and said to be 4,000
rears old."
"That accounts for It," chuckled the
ex-clown boarder as he stirred hit
jatmeal.
"Accounts for what?"
"Why, I bet this butter was made
!rom the cream that cow gave at her
ast milking."
HIS FIRST TIME ON A TRAIN.
Conductor?Got a ticket?
Countryman?You kin bet your crop
>f oats I hev.
Conductor?Let's see IL
Countryman?Young fellow, yon
lon't seem ter put much confidence in
.her passengers on this herq road.
An Egotist.
There was a man In our town
Who was so vain and proud
That 't va<5 simply impossible
To lose him In a crowd.
His Point of View.
"John, dear," queried the young
rife, glancing up from the physical
:ulture magazine she was perusing,
'what is your idea of a perfect figire?"
OTTT.11 ? ll-J I V...V.LJ
wen, reyneu uvr uu&uauu, jiwr
'00 may not be perfection, but it's *
tear enough to satisfy a man of my
imple tastes."
Explained.
"Yep, our new town is growing renarkably
fast We're mighty jroud
if It."
"How many churches have yon
rot?" ^
"There ain't any. churches yet, bnt
ve've got 97 automobiles!"
Her Observation.
"Did you know," said the scientific
>oarder, "that a clock ticks faster in
/inter than in summer?"
"No, I wasn't aware that a clock
[id," answered the landlady, "but I
mow a gas meter does." ,
A SOCIETY NUN.
~l?f w~
Mrs. Parvenue (engaging cook)?
Ay husband Is very particular and enertains
a great deal. He's a promilent
society man, and?
Bridget Malone?Sure, thlu, he ought
o know my cousin, Dan Malone. He
jelongs to most Ivery society 01 lver
leard of.
v
i
Sociability Threatened. '
f the reformers great could flx
All troubles for tho nation
.Vhat would wo do for politic!
To help out ^nversatlon?
Citing Him to Proof. <
"Do you believe that love is blind?"
"Sure."
"Well, I don't"
"I don't see how you can doubt It
s-hen you look at the man your wife
narried."
Short Stay.
"Did you hear about Twiller?"
"No; what about Twiller?"
"He dropped in to see a friend, sat
n a window to cool off and dropped
tut" J?
Even His Creditors. E
Sanderson?Does your new automo
ille go by electricity? H
Swilt?It goes by everything.
He Had More. H
The Old Genilaman?For heaven's
ake, young man, '? nt that gun tho ?
ither way and be careful how you B
landle It First thing you know it
All go off. to
Tho Young Hunter?Aw, dat's all, H
ight. I don't care ef It does; I got' H
ilenty more cartridges.
A Wise Wife. H
"I'm so eorry to be so late, my dear; Si
L friend asked me to stop by a&d' I
ike pot-luck with him." 9
"Well, did you win the pot?" ffi