The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, June 22, 1910, Image 6
its
An Object Lesson.
Mr. Jones?"I'm going to bring
Young Yabsley home to supper tonight."
Mrs. Jones?"Why, we haven't a
' thing to eat in the house, the cook
Is intoxicated, baby has the colic, and
mother is coming."
Mr. Jones?"Yes. that's why I am
going to bring him home. The young
fool is thinking of getting married."
?Newark Star.
Wood fibers are strongest near the
centre of the limb or tree trunk.
A Package Mailed Free on Request of
MUNYON'S
PAW PAW PILLS
M The best Stomach and
Liver Pills known and
; JhHHP a positive and speedy
cure for Constipation,
Indigestion, Jaundice.
I Biliousness, Sour Stom- B,
iqiij ach, Headache, and all
fuTjn?l4SiUw ailments arising from a
J2jjgg4j disordered stomach or
sluggish liver. They
contain in concenr
trated form all the
virtues and values of Munyon'n PawPaw
tonic and are made from the
Juice of the Paw-Paw fruit. I un- i
hesitatingly recommend these pills as !
being the best laxative and cathartic j
ever compounded. Send us postal or
letter, requesting a free package of
Munyon's Celebrated Paw-Paw Laxative
Pills, and we will mail same free
of charge. MUNYON'S HOMOEOPATHIC
HOME REMEDY CO., 53d
*nd Jefferson Sts., Philadelphia. Pa.
Fatted Calf Still Alive.
"Father," said the prodigal, "I
have come back."
"Whv Hirin't ve come back before
the census was took and help swell
the total fer our town? A boy with
as little civic pride as you display |
had better keep on steppin'."?Kan- j
sas City Journal.
/
Baby's Scalp All Crusted Over.
"Our little daughter, when three
, months old, began to break out on the
head, and we had the best doctors to
treat her, but they did not do her any
good. They said she had eczema. Her
scalp was a solid scale all over. The
burning and itching was so severe
that she could not rest, day or night.
We had about given up all hopes
when we read of the Cuticura Remedies.
We at once got a cake of Cuttx
cura Soap, a box of Cuticura Ointment
and one bottle of Cuticura Resolvent,
and followed directions carefully.
After the first dose of the Cuticura
Resolvent, we used the Cuticura
Soap freely and applied the Cutlcura
Ointment. -Then she began to Improve
rapidly and In two weeks the
scale came off her head and new hair
began to grow. In a very short time
she was well. She Is now sixteen
. years of age and a picture of health.
.We used the Cutlcura Remedies about
five weeks, regularly, and fhen we
could not tell she had been affected
by the disease. We used no other
treatments after we found out what
the Cutlcura Remedies would do for
her. J. Fish and Ella M. Fish, Mt.
Vernon, Ky., Oct. 12, 1909."
Giving Him His Due.
Patrick Grogan, an old man, has
lived, In the vicinity of Roxbury
Crossing for years, and during the
long years of his stay he has made
daily visits to a nearby saloon, never
taking more than two drinks, always
going home to his wife a sober man
He was making one of his rngular
trips one day last week and was about
to open the door to the barroom
when an elderly man. who proved to
be a minister, stopped him and said:
"My dear man, don't you know
that every time you go into these hell
holes the devil goes with you?"
Mr. Grogan looked up at the sweet
face of the good man and said:
"Well, if he goes in with me he
pays for his own drinks."?Boston
Traveler.
Almost Universal Prayer.
"Among the late Bishop Foss' anecdotes
abotfU prayer," said a Philadelphia
Methodist, "there was one
concerning a very original Norristown
p-eacher.
*"T!lis preacher, in the course of a
ver7 long prayer one Sunday night,
recounted the many misfortunes and
?i^Krvfoll/\n him In tho I
ev lib til at uau i/vtaucu u&i-la 1U MMV .
course of his long life. Then, sighing
heavily, he prayed:
" 'Thou hast tried me with affiic*tion,
with bereavement and with sorrow
of many kinds. If Thou art
obliged to try me again, Lord, try
roe wfth the burden of wealth.' "?
St. Paul Dispatch.
HARl) ON CHILDREN
When Teacher Has Coffee Habit.
"Best is best, and best will ever
live." When a person feels this way
about Postum they are glad to give
testimony for the benefit of others.
A school teacher down in "Miss,
says: "I had been a coffee drinker
since my childhood, and the last few
years It had injured me seriously.
"One cup of cofTee taken at breakfast
would cause me to become so
nervous that I could scarcely go
throueh with the day's duties, and
this nervousness was often accompanied
by deep depression of spirit3
and heart palpitation.
"I am a teacher by profession, and
when under the influence of coffee
had to struggle against crossness
when in the school room.
"When talking this ove? with my
physician, he suggested that I try
Postum, so I purchased a package and
made it carefully according to directions;
found it excellent of flavour,
and nourishing.
"In a short time I noticed very
gratifying effects. My nervousness
disappeared, I was not Irritated by
my pupils, life seemed full of sunshine,
and my heart troubled me no i
longer.
"I attribute my change in health
and spirits to Postum alone."
Read the little book, "The Road
to Wellville," in pkgs. "There's a
Reason."
Ever read the above letter? A
new one appears from time to time.
They are genuine, true, and full of
human interest.
SOXG OP THE JOT RIDER.
J As Tennyson Might Haw Sung It.)
1 swoop around a sudden turn,
I make a careless sally.
And, feeling not the least concern,
Go zipping through an alley.
Past thirty cops I hurry down,
I bump o'er ruts and ridges;
I scatter havoc through the town
And flash across the bridges.
I see the red light's warning glow,
But do I heed it? Never!
For men may come and men may go.
But I tear on forever.
I rattle over stony ways,
I crash through traffic's jumble.
And end their troubles and their day?
Who hesitate or stumble.
With many a curve I, somehow, get
Around the drays and busses,
And do not stop to feel regret
Because some teamster cusses.
I hurry, hurry, crouching low;
I try to jump the river;
For men may come and men may go,
But I tear on forever.
I flash about and in and out,
A thousand dangers daring:
I hear the mad policeman shout,
But have no time for caring.
And here and there I gladly break
A sneedinc street car's fender:
I never hesitate to take
A chance, however slender.
I lay old men and children low,
I make the horses quiver;
For men may come and men may go,
But I zip on forever.
I tear through lawns and grassy plots,
I crash through leafy covers,
I crush the sweet forget-me-nots
And cripple happy lovers.
I slip, I slide, I skid, I glance,
I scorn the bumps and hollows,
I sound a too'; and take a chance,
Too gay to care what follows.
'
The public wants me squelched, I know;
But do I mind it? Never!
For men may come and men may go,
But I crash on forever.
?Chicago Record-Herald.
The Quest oIMiyer"]
~\ r;- ..J"
Vast walls of rock, with irregular
peaks, dark against the radiance of
morning skies, and in the wall of
rock a deep cleft, over the brink of
which in sheer silver descended the
unending torrent of the falls. Among
the giant boulders at Its base swirled
ebon floods, mingling their tumult
with the mighty roar of the falls, so
that never, at any hour of the year,'
in that place, was there silence,
wherein a bird's song might be heard
or the voice of the wandering wind be
audible.
This was the mountain home of the
river. Here was the green gloom of
lichened rocks, the gray of dizzy
ledges, where here and there a slender
tree found foothold. Her6 was
the weather-worn steep over whose
jagged edges the white clouds sailed,
seemingly so close that from the summit
one might almost think to touch
their luminous folds. Here rioted the
rain and the sunshine, the winds and
the winter storm; and cradled in the
heart of these lay the torrent, the
wiM Intrarfahlo nhilrl nf tho hJlla
And the torrent said: '"Lo, here is
mystery and solitude and grandeur,
and in the deep solitude, a voice that
calls to me; and in my heart there is
a deep unrest, a desire born of my
strength to De off and away over the
world."
For the torrent in its eagerness was
as the heart of youth fretting against
the barriers, and was fain to be free.
And with wild and untamed turbtflence
the waters rushed over the
boulders, broke through the masses
of rock, and swept down from the
rugged heights with echoing Hot and
roar, in brown tumbling volumes and
silver veiling of foam, as a heart that
exults in the glory and greatness of
youth.
Then the clamorous voice of the
torrent became as a voice forgotten.
The gray rocks were left behind, and
among the mossy boulders were layers
of golden sand. The wild roar of
the water became as the glad, low
sound of laughter, and over the ripples
and sparkling eddies fell the
soft shadow of fringing grasses.
And still the eager waters flowed
onward with laughter and song untfl
the mountain solitudes were lost in
the shadows which were aa mists
on past years. Beyond lay the unexplored
region of valley lands.
In the vivid green of the grass shy
flowers opened, and down upon the
wide levels the blue sky ched its
serenity. By night the golden stars
looked down and saw themselves reflected
in the clear waters, and a
silence fell, wherein the lilt of the
river grew wistful and. soft and appealing,
as the joy note that voices
the heart of love and of longing.
And the river said: "Lo, here is
the valley of peace, where strife and
tumult cannot enter. Here in the
warm sunshine, under the veiling
grasses would I abide awhile, save
that from the starlight depths of the
darkness and over the meadows there
steals to my neart tne ecno of a voice
which calls me onward, and in my
heart there is not rest."
For the river was as a soul on the
journey of life, knowing not the beginning
nor the end thereof, yet following
with imperfect obedience the
irresistible voice of the Infinite.
And on the silence arose the sound
of a song, lilting and joyous as the
echo of the river's mountain song,
and the river rushed onward with
outstretched arms; and, with the glad
laughter and hurry of his native
wilds, there bounds into his embrace
a swift, impetuous stream. And the
tides of the growing river and the
i rippling stream were mingled into
one, as tne hearts of two who have
sought each other are brought together
and made one in love. And
there was a deeper note in the voice
of the river and an added joy in his
song, soft and sweet as the cadence
that voices the joy of love, the only
true joy of the world.
Then the great forests threw their
shadows over the murmuring waters,
and over the seedling grasses swung
the gossamer blue of hairbells. Forget-me-nots
flung their lovely clusters
at the river's feet, aau in the green
arcades of the overhanging branches
were the tender songs of the thvushei
and the soul-song of the nightingale,
like unto which there is no song.
And the river whispered: "Now
in this lovely land shall my heart find
rest, for unto my life is another
joined and we twain are one; therein !
lies completeness; now is the time of j
joy and the fulfilment of my desire!" j
And the stream answered: "Lo,
for this also came I down from the i
mountain; surely for thee was my |
longing, and now in our union shall
gladness be perfected."
And a whisper stole through the
tremulous branches, and a low note j
of unrest stirred'in the fitful voice of . ^
the wind. Through the loveliness .
and upon the inner silence stole the j t
echo of a far-away voice, unto the j j
appeal of which the cry of the waters 1
awakened responsive, and with one j,
accord came their answer: I
"Ah, not under the soft shadow cf .
the leaves nor in the beauty of the j
flower-land, nor in the joy of our ;
union lies perfect fulfilment of desire, J .
for there echoes within our hearts the | t
unquieted voice which leads us on- !
ward. Lo, go we forward, yet undivided,
on the unknown quest!" ^
For in the heart of the rivers there
dwelt the unsatisfied unrest which is j
as the'divine unrest of the soul in its j .
wayfaring, finding in love the reflec- .
tion of joy, yet not the fulfilment j ,
thereof. I c
Beyond the chequered shadow of J *"
the forest flowed the waters, beyond |
the rainy marshlands, where the j
rushes invaded their silver quietness, j
whispering the unutterable secrets of j a
j the winds. And the tides of the two c.
rivers were as one and knew no de- ^
viation, so that to those who passed
they seemed but the deeply flowing
current of one broad and mighty *
stream. Their harmony was as one ^
voice; for upon the heart of the rest- ^
less river had fallen a great calm, like
the peace that falls as a. benediction
upon the wayfaring soul on the borderland
of the City of Rest. The
fever and hurry and rush of the long T
journey lay behind, and beyond lay J
j the wide, sandy levels broadening
unto the mighty sea.
And the river said: "Solemn and c
| sweet and near within my heart I c
hear the voice which has called me from
tho cradlc of the mountains,
from the grandeur of the hills and the
solitude of the wilds, from the mystery
of the moorlands and the frail
and lovely ponder of the meadows. ,
Lo, I come, with the song of the wind
and the dream of the forest, I
and the joy of my love. Lo, I come, r
yielding unto thee my all, O Sea!" c
And the , glory of the sunrise lay s
upon the river, ineffable as the light b
which shines on the soul when the a
shadows of the earthly are being c
lifted; for the wayfaring of the river e
was as a day of toil gone by, and be- t
yond was the infinite rest.?The v
Christian Register. e
"ODIC" FORCE 50 *
YEAES AGO. ?
Acted Without Coneaet, But t
Table Tipped Permanently in t
Seemingly Impossible Position. y
"Ghost's" hand, instead of resting r
lightly on the desk, began to jerk
spasmodically away from it and back v
again, and the stand to remain per- r
manently tipped toward him, not ris- a
ing and falling as his hands rose and E
fell, but tipping permanently. Tne "
force acted without contact.
The jerkings increased in frequen- E
cy, violence and length- to a rapid tat- ?
too of his fingers on the stand, the
distances away from it between the ?
beats increasing to nearly or quite a
foot, and the stand steadily tipping 13
more and more toward him, *ntll a
probably the top had passed the cen- u
tre of gravity, and yet it did not fall
toward him or back toward its nat- ?
ural position, but was virtually held 1
in whet all previous knowledge would 8
have declared an impossible position, 1
says Henry Holt, in Putnam's Maga- i a
I
zine.
Then he said: "Try to pull it * "
down," and the strongest boy among *
us on one side of the base, and I, who
was perhaps the heaviest, on the other,
tried to turn the base back tb the
floor. We could not. We spread our- E
.selves on the floor, throwing our 0
hands and the weight of our bodies t
over the raised edge of the stand, but t
we could only sway it a. littiie, while i
the force from him drew it back; I q
do not remember exactly that wo t
could sway it at all. At last our t
pressure simply broke off tbe base or v
drew out the nails. I don't remem- v
ber whether "Ghost" held the upper t
part suspended in the air or whether o
a mysterious circuit with trae earth i
was broken when we broke' off the s
base.1 a
v
Blood-Stained Albania. i
Into rugged Albania the dove of I:
peace seldom ventures. Only a lukewarm
welcome at best awaits her t
among the mountains of that dis- i
tracted land, and when at rare inter- r.
vals she alights on the Acroceraunian ti
promontory or perches timidly on the i
high plateau of Janina she soon takes ^
wing again. There must be some- %
thing in the air of the Adriatic that s
inclines those that breathe it to war, t
for over and over again the valleys 4
and hillsides of Albania have been t
fertilized with blood, and even to-day,
when fighting is fast going out of a
fashion among most of the peoples i
of the world, the mountaineers of j
what in ancient times was illyria and v
Epirus are slaying and being slain.? a
Charleston Mews and Courier. e
h
Answered hy the Last Boy. c
The inspector was examining a
Standard I. and ail tne ciass naa ueen
told beforehand by their master:
"Don't answer unless you are almost
i certain your answer is correct."
History was the subject.
"Now, tell me," said the inspector,"who
was the mother oC our great
Scottish hero. Robert Bruce?"
He pointed to the top 'hoy, then
round the class. There wns no answer.
Then at last the heart of the
teacher of that class leaptd with joy.
The boy who was standing at the v<?ry
j foot had held up his hand.
"Well, my boy." said the nspector,
encouragingly, "who was she?"
"Please, sir, Mrs. Bruce."?Dundee
1 Advertiser.
J5?|
Quiet Manners.
I wish cities would teach their best
esson?of quiet manners. It is the
oible especially of American youth?
>retension. The mark of the man of
he world is absence of pretension,
le does not make a speech; he takes
l low, business tone, avoids all brag,
3 nobody, dresses plainly, promises
lot at all, performs much, speaks in
nonosyllables, hug3 his facts. He
alls his employment by its lowest
lame, and so takes from evil tongues
heir sharpest weapon. His conversaion
clings to the weather and the
lews, yet he allows himself to be surirised
into thought and the unlocking
if his learning and philosophy.
How the imagination is piqued by
.necdotes of some great man passing
ncognito, as a king in gray clothes;
if Napoleon affecting a plain suit at
tis glittering leveei of Burns, or
icott, or Beethoven, or Wellington,
ir Goethe, or any container of trancendent
power, passing for nobody;
if Eoaminondas. "who never says
tnything, but will listen eternally;"
>f Goethe, who preferred trifling 311bects
and common expressions in inercourse
with strangers, worse
ather than better clothei; and to aptear
a little more capricious than he
fas. There are advantages in the old
lat and box coat.?From Emerson's
Sssays.
Prepared For Emergencies.
A woman who works all day and
vhose hours for pleasure are not
nany has a secret by which she has
leen able to lengthen considerably
he little joys which do come ocasionally,
like flowers along what is
trdinarily a somewhat dill pathway.
.o*| Potato Rissoles.?Add
? ? ( to hot mashed potatoes,
= o ?each ball ir.to beaten eg
Lq: -5 ? | crumbs and fry a golden
3 ?" j bed of curled parsley.
n a bureau drawer, sacred to this
iurpose, she keeps a pair or two of
iew, or at least perfectly mended
tockings, a few of her prettiest
landkerchiefs, some neckwear and
, pretty set of undergarments. She
lever uses these things except ior
mergencies, sudden invLtations and
he like. Experience has taught her
/hat to add to this resourceful drawr,
and even a simple foulard dress,
hat she does not wear on expected
iccasions but keeps for "sudden
alls," is kept there sometimes. Then,
f the afternoon has been productive
if an invitation of which she had no
hought in the morning, she is able
o take a fifteen minutes' nap?a
wonderful freshener for an evening's
evel?before dressing.
The practices of a trained nurse,
rho always keeps a satchel packed In
eadiness for a hasty summons, she
,lso follows to a certain extent. A
lew tooth brush, a packet of talcum,
nopened, and therefore not likely
o spill; a tube of dental paste, some
lew wash cloths, gloves worn but
mce and still quite fresh, a night
Iress with ribbons run in?all these
,re in the suitcase, and they materialy
lessen her cares when a sudden
leed for a little journey chances to
.rise.
Our grandmothers always had
pick-up" work for the moments
vhen the unexpected cauer aroppea
n on .them. This woman utilizes
uch moments for the stitches needed
o keep the contents of her drawer
ind suitcase in perfect order, so that
10 hurried stitches need to be taken
,t the last moment.?Washington
lerald.
Prompt Answering of Invitations.
Promptness in all matters conlected
with social life is undoubtedly
me secret of popularity, for procrasinating
persons not only often frusrate
the plans of hostesses, but they
nsinuate a doubt of the desirability
if the invitation received. For it is
rue that human nature is enthusiasIc
and usually prompt to reply to
rhat pleases and dilatory in affairs
phich appear dull. Therefore when
here is tardiness in acknowledging
,n invitation, the woman who sent it
taturally wonders if the recipient
onsiders it undesirable. Now, such
,n idea is an Unpleasant one for those
/ho entertain to conceive, for in the
uture persons who inspire it may not
>e asked tc dinners, etc.
To acknowledge an invitation in
he mail following that which brings
t is none too prompt, and as a rule
an be done. Naturally a woman
ometimes must wait to consult her
tusband as to whether the time suits
lim, but should he be out of town,
o she cannot hear from him on the
aine day, she should refuse or accept
he invitation without consulting him
.nd adhere rigidly to her word aferward.
If she finds her husband has made
, previous engagement he must break
t, for she cannot upset a hostess'
ilan by failing after accepting the in
'itation. Should a woman refuse,
ind find later that her husband can
;o, she is not at liberty to retract
ler refusal. Incidentally a woman is
lot supposed to accept for herself,
ind decline for her husband, or vice
ersa, when both have been invited.
V.nd it is a wise husband who makes
10 social engagements without first
onsulting his wife. If he is willing
o follow this course many a coutre?
empa will be avoided.
When it comes to arriving prompty
at dinner, luncheon or whatever
nno ic nclrari ovprv
illie IUI >1 uil.ll v/ A u uv.?, V.v
ffort should be made lo be prompt.
Svery hostess should give her guests
iy? minutes' grace, but later than
hat may mean the ruin of the whole
i>eal. When such a delay happen*,
he persons causing it are not likely
o be popular with any one present,
f there is to be a delay, which is univoidable.
a guest should teleDhoDe
I "r * '
' - *- ??-? .- < r*r
?>a E "J!
immediately to the hostess, explaining,
and saying precisely how long it
will be. Then the hostess is saved
speculating as to whether the delinquents
may not appear.?Rosanna
Schuyler, in the New York Telegram. ^
A Formal Church Service. g(
"Dear Miss Schuyler:
"Kindly give full information of
how to conduct a church wedding
when there is a maid of honor,
bridesmaids, flower girls, ushers and Y
best man. Also, who presents the
gifts to the bridal attendants??T. ai
H. Z." s<
A rehearsal of the proces&on the
day before a church wedding is frequently
gone through to avoid mistakes
at the ceremony . In all details jr
the rehearsal must be the same as
for the event, and there is no doubt. n
that the practice improves the artis- g
tic effect.
Brides are late at the church, and
nrohaVilv nltc.iva will hp. SO it is not
safe to say that the bridegroom and
his best man should leave the robing
room and proceed to the steps of the
chancel at the moment the ceremony ^
is to take place. These two important
personages are not with the bride,
for the bridegroom meets his future
wife in the church. He does not go
there with her. The safest way of "
preventing a delay is to have some
one stationed at the door who can signal
the two men when the bride ar- ^
rives.
At such signal the bridegroom, followed
by the best man, walks to the
centre of the chancel steps and faces li
the church to await the arrival of the
bride. She by this time should have ?
started down the aisle to the chancel, A
* AnAln Viam Ar TTQQ1
Ck UlLXC X1UC/1J UilU^CU uarn v/ L T?U1
then shape into small balls; dip
g yolk, then dredge with cracker
brown in deep hot fat. Serve on a
though she is the last of her procession.
Heading it are the usher3,
walking two and two. Directly behind
them are the little flower girls
and then the bride&maids, also walking
two and two.
The maid of honor walks alone, directly
in front of the bride, who is
escorted either by her father or the
male relative who is to give her away.
When she reaches the chancel steps
she drops her escort's arm and takes
her place beside her intended husband,
the father or relative staying
behind at her left. By this time the
bridesmaids should have grouped jj
themselves at the left, with the flower
girls in front, the ushers at the right. R)
The best man's place is just behind, ^
at the right of his friend.
The father stays until he gives the
bride away, when he steps back to a
seat in the front pew.
The maid of honor has no duties
save to hold the bride'sbouquet, which
is given to her before plighting the
troth. After the ceremony, before J?
the bride faces the church, the maid
of honor returns the bouquet and
puts back the veil from the bride's
face.
Leaving the church the order of e
procession changes. The little flower
girls start flrBt, scattering flowers as
they walk, and directly behind are f<
the newly married couple. The maid e
of honor and best man are side by
side just behind them, and then follow
the ushers and bridesmaids, each
man walking with a girl. b
Having taken the bridesmaids tc
the door, the ushers return singly and b
begin to escort the invited guests tc li
the doors. P
The bride presents gifts to the
maids, and the bridegroom gives his
best man and ushers souvenirs.?
Rosanna Schuyler, in the New York tl
Telegram.
i
&
Skirts are fuller without being voluminous.
n
Sleeves generally are still close- \]
fitting and quite long. h
Lingerie gowns are taking on C;
touches of bright colors.
Kimono sleeves remain quite fashionable
for elaborate gowns.
Colored embroidery on white is ^
one of the fads of the season.
A noticeable feature of the season's Tl
blouses is the tendency to simulate a
side-front closing. ^
Suede, patent leather and natural g
kid belts are in high style with silk,
wool and linen costumes.
Long skirts are worn for afternoon
and evening, but even at such times ^
many women wear short skirts.
A unique and most effective trim- %
ming for a gown is made of shirrings
of satin over colored satin rat- T
tail. ft!
The shawl-shaped collar, cut pretty it
narrow, is quite prominent, being
faced with satin, moire and even velvet.
Rather strikins are the lone even
in? gloves of white suede with the Cl
back stitching of the seams done iD
black.
The chantecler belt pin may be in j
gilt or silver, with the rooster head i *
in gold and red. The head is in hall s<
relief. *"
Coat lengths vary a good bit
'though most of them are below the
hip depth, and a number have novel a,
vest effects. !
Coat lengths are a bit shorter
varying from thirty-two inches to the ; jr
half length, which is usually that ot i
the Russian blouse. j a:
| b.
Carnegie says he has made forty- I if
two men millionaires. | ir
With the Funny
Substitution.
Old Mother Hubbard
She went to the cuboard,
s always had been her habit.
"I can't afford beef,"
She murmured with grief;
5 she made her poor dog a welsh rabbit.
?Chicago Tribune.
The Celestial Porter.
Sol?"What's the matter, Comet?
ou seem to have the vapors."
Comet?"I brushed that old Earth
ad didn't get a tip."?Boston Tran:ript.
No Trouble at All.
Father (to suitor)?"And ate you
1 a position to suppojt a wife?"
Suitor?"Oh, yes; I'm a perfect
ailer at raising money."?Fllegende
laetter. f
Nature's Own Process.
He ? "Do you use pasteurized
lilk?"
She?"I suppose so. It comes from
pasture-ized cow, anyway."?Eoston
ransciipt.
Why She Quit.
"Why did Jones' wife give up spirualism?"
"Sh* took Jones- to a meeting and
ones tegan receiving messages from
is fiMl wife."?Buffalo Express.
At the Foot of Aetna.
Italian?"Youhaven't got anything
ke th?t in America."
American?"That's so, but we've
ot Niagara that tfould put it out in
ve minutes..Lustige Blaetter.
Agreed.
"The doctor thinks the baby looks
ke me."
"Yes; I wanted to say so, but I was
traid you'd be offended."?New York
'elegram.
Glorious.
Painter's Wife?"That's a view of
ae Alps. Glorious thing, isn't it?"
Uncle From Somerset?"Well, if it
puzn't for all them mountains I might
e able to see summat!"?London
pinion.
Often the Way.
"She vowed she'd sacrifice almost
verything to marry him."
"Well?"
"She changed her mind when she
jund she'd have to sacrifice almost
verything."?Kansas City Journal.
Genins Handicapped.
"So you think our friend will never
e recognized as a great musician?"
"I'm sure of it. He is partially
aid, speaks no language except Engsh
and has a name that anybody can
ronounce."?Washington Star.
Hard to Portray.
"I don't think the book will dramaize
well."
"Why not?"
"The hero has a good many mental
truggles, but that kind of combats
on't go well on the stage."?Hous3n
Chronicle.
The Trouble. With Trouble.
"Troubles sometimes come to us as
Iessings in disguise, you know.'*
"Yes," replied the chronic pessllist,
"but the trouble with them is
iiat they generally go away without
aving taken off their masks."?Chiago
Record-Herald.
A Belated Salutation.
"People ask a great many foolish
uestions."
"Hush*!" replied the man In the
aincoat. "Don't discourage them,
m'tired of waiting for the climate
> justify some one in asking if it's
ot enough for me." ? Washington
tar.
Willing to Adjust.
Anniioant?"I hear vou want a lady
arlor maid."
Lady (who has interviewed fifty or
[xty)?"No, I've given up the idea."
Applicant?"To teli you the truth,
don't want to be a lady any more,
[other don't think there's much iu
?Punch.
Got Thorn on the Bounce.
Fuddv?"You say your seat was so
ir back that you couldn't hear the
nmedian. But I saw you laughing
t what he said."'
Duddy?"Oh, I'll explain that. Yon
2e. I saw Parker away down in front
nd as he and I usually enjoy the
ime jokes, I laughed v?heu lie did."
-Boston Transcript.
Self-Consciousness.
"Is this silk hat the latest style?"
sked the man who had been appointi
on a reception committee.
"The very latest," replied the obliglg
salesman.
"Then I don't want it. What I'm
Iter is something new enough not to
s shabby and old enough to look as
I were used to wearing it."?Washigton
Star.
AFTER
SUFFERING
ONEYEAR
Cured by Lydia E. Pinkham'sVegetable
Compoui# Milwaukee,
"Wis. ? "Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound has made
I--' ' " jv-^i me a well woman,
1 s I and I would like to
! tell the whole world
of it. I suffered
Wf fBls fromfemale troubla
Wm * Jpi| and fearful painsin
** r^piS my back. load the
ML O ill best doctors and
^Jpfl they all decided
' 11 that I had a tumor
in addition to my
female trouble, ana
\ / advised an opera
\/ tion. Lydia E.
Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound made
me a well woman and I have no more
backache. I hope I can help others by *
telling them what Lydia E. Pinkham'a
Vegetable Compound has done for me."?Mrs.
EmxaJjmse, 833 First St.,
Milwaukee, "Wis.
The above is only one of the thoasands
of grateful letters which are
constantly being received by the
Pinkham Medicine Company of Lynn,
Mass., which prove beyond a doubtthat
Lydia E. Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound,
made from roots and herbs,
actually does core these obstinate diseases
of women after all other means
have failed, and that every such stifaitfan
14- f a
QlXJLiU YTUUittU UVYCD 1U W w WW Vflfl
least give Lydia E. Pinkham's VegeU- H
ble Compound a trial before subnip- R
ting to an operation, or giving up
hope of recovery. H
Mrs. Pfnkhara, of Lynn, Mass.,
invites all ^sick women to write H
her for advice. She has euided H
thousands to health, aim her H
odylce is free* - - gB
Libby: I
Evaporated Milk ?1
Contains double the nu- H
triment and none of the . H
impurities so often found M
in so-cailed fresh or raw H
inillr EM
UiUA.* f HH
The use of IAV* in- H
sures pure, rich, whole- H
some, healthful milk that 9
is superior in flavor and D
economical in cost. Hi
Libby's Evaporated Milk is 9
the purest, freshest high 3
grade milk, obtained SB
from selected, carefulfy* I
fed cows. It is pasteur- SJ
ized and then evaporat
ed (the water taken out), B
filled into bright, new 3
tins, sterilized and sealed H
air tight until you need it., 9
Use Libby's and tell Hj
v your friends how good HB
Libby, McNeill H
a& ilibby H
L Chicago H
H '.|R
Baa If I
Warnings. JrjS
Never grieve because a woman H
turns ber back on you. She may be HH
watching you in a mirror. Never HHj
rejoice when she turns her (ace |HB
toward you; she may be looking at .BBB
another man over your shoulder.?
Uiiai Aco iuajui.
IT WEARS YOU OUT. MH
'*v' iDH
Kidney Troubles Loner the V^alfty 0H
of the Whole Body. flifl
Don't .wait for serious Illness; begin
using Doan's Kidney Pills when aflHf
you first feel backache or notice urln- BBM
ary disorders. W. fifli
W. Gosden, 711 ^ S. EH
"story Maraha11 St, Richmond.
Va., says: |^H
FS/ "My doctor said I
^aiC bad inflammation of bH
""vnfckv.'-bladder. My
cfa/yfK U limbs swelled to
I' u twice their real size
ly -\R| \J and seemed as if HhH
1 p< there were thousands
wSSjjg^M A of needles sticking
1^into them. I had RH
been bedfast for three months when I
began using Doan's Kidney Pills. |^^9j
Soon I was in better health than la HH
years." gEBBI
Remember the name?Doan's. For 106
sale by all dealers. 50 cents a box. BSfl
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
In Mourning.
Robert Goelet, during the Easter
parade in Fifth avenue, stood in conversation
with a group of friends BHI
when a lady in a beautiful gown HflH
passed. SHE
"Why, there goes Mrs. X.," said a HB|
young matron. "She was gray last
year, and now her hair is as black as
H
Mr. Goelet, buttoning his smart Bug
morning coat, answered, with a
smile:
"Well, you know, she has recently Bm
become a widow."?Washington Star^ BB|