sxn
agatHW? i
INFLUENCE.
jjKaa&| The smallest bark on life's tumultuous
ocean
Will leave a track behind forevermore;
Mr^ The lightest wave of influence, once in
motion,
pjgjS&g'g Extends and widens to the eternal shore,
gjzgastf We should be wary, then, who eo before
a^gwJ & myriad yrt to be, and we should take
Our bearing carefully, where breakers
II [And fearful tempests gather; one mistake
1 May wreck unnumbered barks that follow
5 in our wake.
E ?The Christian Advocate, i
If TROVATA |
k By M. CORBETT-SEYMOUR. ?
[ Charles Danford's friends agreed
unanimously that he was making
| liimself ridiculous. He had fallen in
love simply from seeing her in a
crowded concert room once during
the brief, bright, London season! simply
from listening to the pleasant
tone as her voice as she talked with
a lady and gentleman, much older
than herself, who were her companions.
Now love?so-called?and young
Danford were not quite unknown to
each other. He had twice proposed
and been rejected; he had once been
engaged for a period of three weeks,
at the end of which the girl threw
|j|jg him over for the sake of a man old
|a|p enough to be her father.
fflgH The the young fellow registered
|mm| soniething resembling a vow that he
Be would have nothing to say to women
jlH ,??except the elderly.
"Stow it?do, dear fellow!" said
gggf; \ Stewart, his special chum, when
11 Charlie tried to tell the oft-told tale
jSM of his experiences. "Everybody knows
rag all about it, and how you are never
|g| 'going to marry any one. Talk of
|H something else."
Yet here he was, declaring he
mV,jwoiild woo and wed a girl whose
SBI name he had never heard?and perg||
haps never would hear. Even Rodffl
ney Stewart was inclined to have done
M .with him, and told him plainly that
be was a fool.
m There ensued some coldness bell
tween the two young men; they got
H over it and were friends again, but
mz lor weeks it left Charlie free to wanjge
der here and there, in the hope of
coming across that charming young
M [woman of the concert room.
Kt? Some people say the world is small,
S and we are forever seeing those we
H least expected to see. But this par5|
tlcular young man was not of that
opinion.
jg London is fairly large; and wan
Bering in the Park, in Regent Street,
w , and other places where ladies cong
gregate, he was fain .to admit that
j| nothing short of a miracle would efI
lect a meeting with that fair-haired,
? ibrown-eyed maiden, who had un|
knowingly made captive his heart.
' And yet?for such is the dogged|
ness of some human beings?he perP
Bevered. in his search.
| Sometimes his heart bounded wlthl
In him as he fancied he iiscerned a
K figure like that of the unknown; then,
with the discovery of the mistake, his
hopes went down very considerably
i^ybelow zero.
\ In due course came July. London
bfcgST- to empty itself after the
fifteenth, and, like other young men
[who have opportunities, Danford accepted
several country house invitations.
Nowhere did Fate put him in the
iway of the unknown; the girls he
met found him chilly and unappreciative,
and the elder women pitied his
depression, trying to discover its
t cause.
Charlie, however, was not com- ]
munieative. Stewart was his only
confidant, and Stewart had gone to
Jtforway. So beyond vague assertions
that iife was not worth living, he said
nothing about the change which had
come over him?once so light-hearted
? fellow.
It was just the time when people
."Who love traveling start here and
there in search of health or variety.
This particular young man was physPjiV
' Ically sound enough, but he resolved
Hpt- to cross the Channel, like the rest;
k: tn one or another pleasure resort, he
K;.... might see the lady whom he wanted
I|'. to see.
Tt. is srarrelv npppssarv In sav that
| Danford had plenty of money. Work,
BP'- If such had been an obligation, would
! have quickly taken- all the seutij
mental nonsense out of him; but the
I Spi* Jjlessedness of "something to do" was
Sty'" unknown to him.
As economic arrangements did not
form part of his program, young Danlord
put up at one of the most ex &v
ipensive hotels in Ostende when the
mail-boat landed him there, lost a
little money at the Kursaal and then
6^-' went on to Brussels.
He found the bright city charming.
He ran against ak old acquaintance,
who introduced him at the Legation,
and that of course led to a good deal
of visiting among the British residents.
So Charlie's spirits rose a
little, though he did not forget the
"raison d'etre" of his continental trip,
nor forget the sweetness of a certain
musical voice, nor the beauty of fair
hair combined with eyes of a lustrous
sherry-brown.
Indeed, he was constantly thinking
of the girl, sometimes even dreaming
of her; and as he did not know her
rightful name, he bestowed ou her
that of "Trovata," which seems to
suggest his secret conviction, that patience
and perseverance will accomplish
all things, even the finding
' 1(without any clue) of a lost young
lady.
And he did find her; but not in
the little Belgian capital. Returning
j to his native land by way of Paris,
' disappointed but not yet despairing,
Mr. Danford dropped in one afternoon
at a tea-room in the neighborhood
of the Faubourg St. Honore.
He was glancing at a society paper,
\ 'and not just, then thinking of his
"Trovata," when the sound of a voice
at a little table close by so startled
him that he almost dropped his teacup.
It was her voice! He should have
{known it anywhere; nay, he had
sometimes borrowed a poetic idea and
Her in actual being! Sherry-brown
eyes, fair hair, and voice; charminglj
dressed, and in the company of two
other ladies, evidently English.
Charlie looked round him wildly.
He could not hope for an introduction
then and there; it would be too pre
cipitate. But he must learn her name
if he could?why, there, a few yards
away, was Dick Baring, and he always
knew everyone and everything:
Not without some slight agitation
*did Danford cross the room and make
his inquiry. Mr. Baring seemed to
understand that the name and antecedents
of an elderly lady with white
hair and then of a tall tourist in
tailor made costume were asked for;
but finally he was made to comprehend.
"Do I know her? Rather!" he exclaimed.
"The prettiest Englishwoman
in Paris, and the wife of "
here he named an attache of the Embassy.
"Shall I introduce you?"
"No, thanks very much; I only
wanted to know," said Charlie, trying
to appear indifferent.
But he packed his be!o:.gings and
made for the coast by that evening's
train; and the last time I saw him in
London I was favored with his
declaration that It was better to be
single than married.?Waverley.
CURE FOR BLUSHING.
Nervous Affection That May Yield to
Proper Treatment.
Blushing is a curious phenomenon,
often very disagreeable to the suffer|
er. It is due to a sudden relaxation
of the walls of the minute blood vessels
of the surface of the body and is
classed by physicians among nervous
affections of the circulation.
Self-consciousness is usually the
exciting cause of habitual blushing,
which occurs therefore more commonly
in bashful children, and in girls
more frequently than in boys. Those
who blush easily are generally of a
sensitive, nervous temperament, and
as contact with the world modifies
this somewhat the habit gradually
disappears with age.
The face is the part where blushing
more commonly occurs, although any
other part of the body may show the
same change. One who watches the
blushes of a painfully embarrassed
person may sec a faint pink flush
spread over the ears and throat as
well as the cheeks. It is said that
among uncivilized tribes, where much
of the body is habitually exposed,
blushing, when it occurs at all, may
involve all the uncovered parts. It is
probably because the face is the part
by which one isidentified?that which
personifies the individual?that it is
the recognized seat of the blush.
Sudden attacks of general blushing
without any apparent reason may affect
those who are somewhat advanced
in life and constitute a most
disagreeable symptom.
Children who blush easily should
be trained to overcome self-consciousness
or bashfulness. They should be
persuaded, not forced, to take a prominent
position among their playmates
rather than to hold back and speak
only when they are spoken to. Undue
timidity should be overcome because
it injures the chance of success in
business or the social world. The
"speaking of pieces" in school, if the
child can be persuaded it will be good
for him, will go far to cure morbid
blushing.
The spontaneous blushing or flushing
of adults may be benefited by tonics,
remedies to aid digestion, a generous
but simple diet, cool bathing
and plenty of exercise in the open air.
?Youth's Companion.
THE SILENCE OF |
: HALF THE WORLDS
? CO
a?o?coee?sa?ose??soco??e?9
"In regard to the men, on the other
hand, women are absolutely silent,"
says Inez Haynes Gillmore, in Success
Magazine. "It may be that they
discuss their masters among themselves,
but if they do, it is in whispers
and under a vow of secrecy.
Whether this silence be through
prudence, through fear, through chivalry,
or because they have not formulated
their opinions, nobody knows.
But it is so profound that the men
have leaped fatuously to the conclusion
that women have no opinion in
regard to men or, mere fatuously
still, that there is nothing about men
for women to criticise. The women,
themselves, are just beginning to be
conscious of their own tongue-tied
condition. Elizabeth Robins, one of
the few women earth-writers who has
dared to approach this subject, says,
'If I were a man. and cared to know
the world I lived in, I think it would
make me a shade uneasy, the weight
of that silence of half the world.' "
Insects in Coal.
| Discoveries in tne coal mines oi
central France have furnished by fai
the greatest advance that has ever
been made in our knowledge of the
insects which inhabited the world
millions of year.s, as geologists believe,
before the time when man
made his appearance upon the earth,
In that wonderful age when the carboniferous
plants, whose remains
constitute the coal beds of to-day
were alive and flourishing the air and
the soil were animated by the presence
of flies, grasshoppers, cockroaches,
dragon flies, spiders, locust:
and scores of other specks which exist
but slightly changed at the present
time. But the insects of those remote
times attained a gigantic size
some of the dragon flies measuring
two feet from tip to tip of their ex
panded wings. The remains of thes<
insects have been marvellously pre
served in the strata of coai aud rock
?Harper's Weekly.
The Sweet Uses of Adversity.
You can wear out your old clothes
You are not troubled with visitors
You are not pers_cuted to stand spon
sOi. Begging letter writers will le
you alone. Imposters know it is use
less to try to bleed you. Yoi
can practice temperance. You ar
not foolishly flattered. You sav
ay a debt and many a headache
: liMQ-L
1 ^ School in Japan.
Miss Tsuda's English school for
girls in Tokio is said to be doing a
pioneer work of much importance in
Japan. She is really laying the foundation
for higher education among
Japanese women. The enrollment
for several years has been about 150
pupils, all of whom remain in the
school for from three to five years.?
New York Press.
Make Home Happy.
Make the home life as happy as
you can for the children. Many a
boy goes astray, not tl .ough lack of
I care and training, but because home
| life is not made as happy as it might
be. Children, while they are young
and impressionable, should be surrounded
with happiness. It is as essential
to their well being as sunshine
is to flowers. If, as they grow irp,
they find that happiness is not to be
had at home, they soon learn to look
for it elsewhere.?Indianapolis News.
Bear Our Sorrows.
By preference we would bear all
our sorrows alone, fight out all the
hardest fights of heart and soul where
i no one can pity us, or, with any weu
I meant attempt at healing, poke their
j fingers into our sorest place; like
! Jacob, we would wrestle with God in
I the darkness and solitude of our own
| chamber. But when we are happy it
i is different; something must be want
ing unless there is one near to us who
understands and is happy, too.?Womi
an's Life.
i
White Violets as Bride's Flowers.
It is a pretty idea for a bride to
use her name flower in her wedding
! boquet. Lady Violet Brabazon has
! decided to do this when she is mari
ried next Wednesday to Lord Grimston
at St. George's, Hanover Square.
Lady Violet will have a boquet of
i white violets and the two unmarried
sisters of her fiance who will act as
i bridesmaids, the Ladies Sybil and
1 Vera Grimston, will carry big bunches
j of parma violets. The flower in colj
ored enamel will be represented in
i the bridegroom's jewel gifts to the
; bridesmaids.?London Globe.
Petition the Duma.
The Jewish women of Russia have
! presented their first petition to the
I Duma. In this petition they beg that
' legislation be enacted to prevent hus
" * J* ^ Kill
I Danas irom sending wen wiyco a um
of divorce by messenger. As things
! are now a Hebrew husband can di!
vorce his wife, with the consent of the
! rabbi, by giving her a bill of divorce!
ment. If the wife does not wish to
| be divorced she can refuse to take the
I paper, and it does not become valid
j without her acceptance. When the
; bill is sent by a messenger the wife,
: not knowing what the paper is, has
; no means of protecting herself.?New
| York Sun.
Sash Worn With Bracelets.
; All that hangs gracefully about
: woman's clothes speedily becomes the
i fashion. The woman who first wore
j the shawl in Italy soon startled Rome
| by her grace. She had not even been
. known as pretty before that, but ever
afterward she was the Roman beauty.
The shawl received another hanging,
a fringe, which swayed and trembled
with every movement of the figure.
Then came the gracefully hanging
skirts, and now the newest thing is to
{ have a sash drawn from the waist
I through bracelets of gold worn above
j the elbows. The sash, which hangs
: down to the edge of the skirt, gives
' an unusually graceful effect. As the
I cooV. it. nnt lnnoo JlHnP.hed tO the
| dress at the waist, it is no trouble to
. | the wearer, but is an everlasting
. ! temptation to be kept moving.?New
j York Press.
j Circlets For Ankles.
| The diamond garter has been a fad
; for many years, but recently Berlin
! women have decided the garter is not
! worth the trouble and expense, now
1 ! that the sheath gowns have gone out
! of vogue. To have large diamond
j earrings was all very weil, and rings
1 I on dainty hands will always be in
' fashion, but what more could the fasj
tidious woman ask than a sparkling
' band of diamonds around her ankle?
; ! First one of the women in the Kaisj
er's court started it. Others were
j willing to emulate her, and now when
i there is a dance the circlet of gems on
! | the ankle inevitably calls attention to
| a small foot and a shapely ankle.
I But the one drawhack to these orna>
ments is that sometimes they become
[ loose and are lost. But the plain gold
. band is used to take the place of the
i bejeweled circlet, and women risk
wearing those in the streets.?New
. York Press.
!
Are Women Bad Tempered?
1 When it comes to a question of
t-mrcuHc nrp wives ever
J l?KJ\J UiCO UUU put wwivm wv. .. -
I as indulgent as their husbands? A
5 j man Is usually far more lenient to
" ! his wife's tastes than she is to his.
" I He may not be able to understand
her fondness for Mrs. Smith's company,
but he endures it without a
? murmur. He may not appreciate her
' espousal of the suffragette's cause,
i j but he allows her to ' gang her ain
" gait" without expostulation. With
* her other fancies and ideas it is the
same; if they "please her and don't
i hurt him" he is content.
A woman, however, will lose no
| time in informing her husband that
j she can't endure Brown, and he really
. j must not go fishing with him any
i ] more. Of if bicycling happens to be
. his innocent recreation she will never
, rest until she has got him to take up
e tennis, a form of sport which may
e i appeal to her personally, but in which
, !he has no sort of interest, says Wo
.vr .vi ''.7? gr
liberty and leisure. Long before she
had ceased grumbling at the untidiness
of his particular den, at the presence
of pipes and the absence ol
matches in every room in the house
he has patiently and good humoredlj
recognized the fact that it takes at
least five hatpins and twenty-five
minutes to adjust the hat of the period
at the fashionable angle.
A Woman's Time to Dress.
"A correctly gowned woman car
not dress herself in less than one
hour and a half."
Mme. Marguerite Sylva, the prims
donna, thus sets the feminine sartO'
rial time with finality.
A well groomed woman allows:
Fifteen minutes for a bath.
Ten minutes to adjust corsets and
underwear.
TTMftArm minnt.es to eo over the face
with a light massage and powder.
Fifteen minutes at least to arrange
the hair.
Ten minutes to adjust the hat.
Twenty-five minutes, being all thai
is left, in which to arrange the outei
costume.
"Of course," said Mme. Sylva
"these are the necessities of a wom>
an's toilet. She must allow, at least
every other morning:
"Thirty minutes for a manicure.
"Forty-five minutes for waving the
hair.
"An hour for a thorough massage.
/'For myself, I am never late. How.
ever, I am afraid that the time I consider
necessary for dressing would
cause the learned Chicago judge tc
bless a fate that never had led him
to my drawing- room to cool his
heels."
The Chicago judge to whom Mme
Sylva referred is Judge Crowe, who
in connection with a fine he imposed
upon the chauffeur of Mrs. George
W. Lederer, exclaimed:
"A woman has no regard for time;
she will take half an hour to adjust
three hairpins. Women take toe
much time in dressing and primping
They have no idea of the inconveniences
it causes their husbands
friends and admirers."
"Certainly there is one thing thai
no man can understand," said Mme
Sylva, "and I doubt if I can explair
it. The less a woman puts on the
longer it takes her to do it. Nevei
have women worn fewer clothes thai
with the present fashions, and nevei
has it taken them longer to dress.
"But, after all, the question sim
mers down to this," concluded Mme
Sylva, "would a man prefer to wail
for an attractive woman, or to hav<
an unattractive woman waiting foi
him? Whatever is worth having ii
worth waiting for?"?New York Tel
egram to the Kansas City Star.
BiRSTTY SL
^HWGS#?L
TO
Moyen age coats will be worn ty
children.
Whole coats are made of the tail
less ermine.
Purple silk stockings are one of th<
season's novelties.
Much of the trimming of the ha
now goes at the back.
Net forms the foundations of near
ly all the new trimmings.
The so-called Egyptian ribbons tha
look like temple columns, trim man;
of the handsomest turbans.
Bunches of short plumes are beinj
used more than the single long one
so much in vogue last season.
A toque of chamois-colored velvet
trimmed with black wings, is decided
ly smart, and unusual as well.
Net boleros, in white and black
elaborately embroidered, are mos
serviceable as a toilet accessory.
It is a veiled season, and thesi
short lenghts of veils are an import
ant accessory to the modern outfit.
Plain meshes are always acceptabli
and every woman should number om
or two of this variety in her outfit.
Two new names that go with tone
that are charmingly soft and becom
in<r oro Vint- trrnv nnrl Rpnn\'Jlis lllllP.
Net boleros, in white and black
elaborately embroidered, are mos
serviceable as a toilette accessory.
The flower of fashion this seasoi
is the Bermuda lily. It is in white o
pink and is grown small or large.
Moire waists of the Gibson styl
are holding their favor. They hav
silk buttons coveted with the silk.
In the monthly expenditure of th
average well-dressed woman th
money for veilings will be no smal
item.
A mixture of silver and gold i:
trimming bands or garniture is no^
more favored than gold or silve
alone.
The pleated walking skirt is a de
servedly popular model, and a mos
practical one, and it has now man
uuvuieea.
Marabout or malines, massed abou
the huge wings on the large cavalle
hats is a distinctive note of the fal
millinery.
Hair bands of all kinds prevail
some single and of eonsiderabl
width, and some double, like th
Greek fillet.
Made veils, decorated with ornat
designs, are more expensive, but th
finished style of these cannot be suij
plied by other veils.
Self-toned veils in colors to matel
the costume are much worn, and o
Ann?*c<A K1 oL- onrl u-hito mucin-**: O v
ll/lilOC ""U " mv.juvs) ut
always in good taste.
A handsome scarf has the Persia:
pattern outlined in gilt. Few oppor
tunities for displaying silver or gil
S The Deep Waterway ! ]
For Illinois.
Writing of "Another Phase of the
Deep Waterway Problem," Ebin J. '
Ward says, in The World To-day: ]
"The inevitable conclusion follows
that, if the State takes possession of
the water-power rights of private individuals,
nothing can be accomi
plished with the $20,000,000 toward
the construction of the waterway.
- However, for the $20,000,000 a
! waterway, after the plans of the
, United States engineers, can be built
r from Joliet to Utica, provided the
t State leaves private owners in poss
session of their private property, as
does the plan of the United States for
a waterway down the valley. The
idea of the Government or of the
State developing and distributing hyt
droelectric energy, is so foreign to
? the universal conception of the proper
functions of government, that the int
ability to do so should be regarded
. as fortunate.
"Therefore, why should the State
abandon the construction of a waterway,
merely because it cannot secure
[ the water-power for its private gain?
Let us have the waterway, but let the
? State use its powers for governmental
purposes only."
j
WORDS OP WISDOM.
t When Povsrty comes in the door
* True Love engages her on the spot to
do the cooking.
The manager of a temperamental
"star" knows that all luminous bod'
ies are not heavenly.
Chivalry died of a congestive chill
, the day the first short haired woman
appeared on the streets.
T Tiraiteri fnr the river to run by.
. mother," and now I am too old and
. stiff myself to run.
I A man Is never so much a man as
> when he.is trying to convince some
i woman she isn't anything but a woJ
man.
A good name should he chosen for
a book, but if you want it to bring.
* you great riches get the right press
' agent.
To the opitimist the rains of April
bring the roses of May; to the pessi^
mist the same showers bring fore)
bodings of rheumatism.
The only tie that binds is a love
. knot.
, Many a peach hath the disposition
of a lemon.
t People who live in glass houses
ought to invest in shades.
The thoroughfare known as easy
' | street is paved with dough.
t Because a girl is chicken hearted
is no sign that she is feather headed.
In the spring a young girl's fancy
- lightly turns to thoughts of Easter
hats.
t They who pawn their opportuni1
ties rarely have the wherewithal to
r redeem them.
J He jests at jars who never had a |
" maiden aunt who invited herself to
live with his family.
"If I kept on, Mavourneen, until I
told you everything I want to say,"
wrote the ardent young Irish lover
to his sweetheart, "I'd still have several
volumes to write you, darling."
?From "Eve's Epigrams," in the
New York Telegram.
r Too Much to Forgive.
Charles P. Taft, the President's
brother, was talking to a Cincinnati
reporter the other day about art
2 fakes.
"We all laugh at art fakes," he J
t said, "when it is our neighbor that is
taken in. But when we are taken in '
ourselves, then we realize what a
heinous business art faking is, and
we see how necessary it is for the fa{
ker to be punished. In fact, it is a
good deal like the case of Deacon
Broadbent.
? "Deacon Broadbent, a very honest
3 and pious man, was conducting a
Christmas revival with great success.
" 3 1 nv>inrf of Jnnc
i in a woru, nib punci iu?
- had brought Calhoun White, the
town's worst sinner, weeping to the
mourner's bench.
j "The deacon, gratified by this proof
of his evangelical prowess, hastened
to Calhoun's side.
" 'Deacon,' sobbed Calhoun, ' 'tain't
no use in mah comin' up. I'se sinned
away de day o' grace.'
" 'No, }*o' hain't, Brudder Cal,' said
2 the deacon. 'All yo' got to do is to !
I gib up sin an' all will be forgibben.'
s I " 'I'se done gib it up, deacon, but j
- I flat hain't no salvation fo' me.'
" 'Yes. dey is, hon. Dev hain't no J
J sin so black dat it kin be washed j
t whiter'n de smw.'
" 'But I done stole fo' young tur- j
a i keys last week,' said the penitent.
" 'Dat's all forgibben, Cal.'
" 'An' fo' de week befo'.'
" 'Dat's forgibben. too.'
e " 'An' six fat Christmas geese'?
"The deacon suddenly frowned and
stiffened.
e " 'Six fat Christmas geese outer
e yore own yard, deacon ? dem fat
1 geese wot yo' 'lowed to set so much j
store by.'
n " 'Wot's dat yo* say?' the deacon |
v hissed furiously.
r " 'It wuz me wot stole yo' Christ- j
mas geese, sab.'
" 'I reckon, Calhoun.' he said slow- j
? lv: 'I reckon I'se spoken too hasty. [
y Dis case o' yourn needs advisement. I
I ain't sho' dat we's justified in clut- j
terin* uj) de kincdoni o" heben wid I
chicken thieves.' "?St. Louis Globe- j
^ Democrat.
Bibulous.
' "Nevertheless," said the young j
0 I Roman, "lie is an ambitious poet. He j
- would serve the muses all his life." )
"But," replied his elder, "he makes
g the mistake of supposing that Bace
chus is one of the muses."?Catholic
i- Standard and Times.?.
^ Horn of Kipfrienoe.
f If the Government. doesn't know j
e just how to economize, the1 ultimate [
consumer stands ready to sive some j
a advice and information. ? St. Louis |
Post-Dispatch.
Every man makes a satisfactory
THE ERA OF HASTE.
Everybody's runnin'?runnin' night an'
day; , .
Doesn't seem to be no chance fur aittin
down to play;
Runnin' after office an' a-runnin' after
wealth,
iunnin' off to Europe in the hope o' findin'
health;
Runnin' fur policemen an' a-runnin' fur
the caret
re'ly ain't surprisin' if we don't know
where we are.
Ain't no tine fur restin' an' there ain't no
time iur tun,
Everybody's got to keep a-goin' on the run.
[t wouldn't much astonish me ef I should
find, some day.
This earth had caught the fever an' completely
broke away,
An' started in to run amuck among the
distant stars
An' Bcarin' all the oenses out o' people up
in Mars.
Le's settle down more quiet in the country
an' the town,
Before we all discover that we're totally
run down.
I'm weary of the hustlin', bustlin', rustlin'
modern style!
Suppose we stop this rurmin' an' jes" walk
a little while.
He?"He is very popular with the
weakfer sex, is he not?" She?"Why,
no! Every man I know detests him."
?Judge.
Teacher ? "Felicia, name some
bird that is extinct." Felicia?"Our
canary?the cat got it last night."?
Chicago Daily News.
Police Official?"Prisoner, have you
any collateral about you?" Prisoner
?"No, sah! Nebah teched it, sah."
?Baltimore American.
"Pa, what is true greatness?" "To
be represented on a float in a parade
a hundred years after one is dead."?
Chicago Record-Herald.
"Is there anything which people
will really swear off this year?"
"Sure." "What is it?" "Their
taxes."?Baltimore American.
The ultimate consumer
Bewails his dreary fate;
-nrtfUirtrr in Vila fitnmflrTl
And nothing'on his plate.
"Agnes sat playing bridge all the
afternoon with her back to a glorious
mountain view." "Yes. She is president
of our Back to Nature Club."?
Life.
Mr. Hunter?"I'd like to meet that
Miss Richie. She has $50,000 and no
encumbrance." Mrs. Keen?"Do you
think she's looking for one?"?Boston
Transcript.
Nell?"Maude has a costume for
every occasion." Belle?"Yes, I suppose
she wouldn't even make a salad
without wearing a dressing gown."?
Philadelphia Record.
"But our ideals." "What of
?hem?" "Are they higher than they
were a generation ago?" "Sure.
Everything is higher now."?Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Elder Sister?"Do you want women
to have votes?" Younger Sister?
"No." Elder Sister?"Why?" Younger
Sister?"Because I like to hear
about the suffragettes."?Punch.
Professor (in medical college)?
"How would you treat heartburn?"
Student (who never passes his examinations)?"Why,
the same as any
other burn."?Chicago Tribune.
"A man never knows how many
friends he has until he gets into politics."
"True," answered Senator Sor-,
ghum, "nor how few he has until he
gets out of office."?Washington Star.
"Think twice before you speak" is a
Good rule, and so is this'n:
"Sometimes 'tis well to think a time
Or two before you listen."
"I didn't know you intended to go
around the world." "I didn't when I
started. But I went through Europe
without tipping and was afraid to
turn back."?Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Poet?"Poetry should be written
on one side of the paper, shouldn't
it?" The Editor?"That depends on
the poetry; lots of it shouldn't be
written on either side."?Philadelphia
Record.
Refined Raillery.
"Poor Lai Brough," said an actor
at the Lambs', "had a great liking for
London bus drivers and conductors.
He was always telling quaint yarns
about them.
"He told me once that, as he sat on
a bus in High Holborn going toward
Tottenham Court road, an Elephant
and Castle bus went by the other way,
and Brough's conductor took off his
badge and dangled it by its cord in
the Elephant and Castle driver's face.
"The driver, at sight of the dangling
badge, turned purple with rage.
He swore and shook his fist and went
on terribly, while the conductor on
Brough's bus held the badge by its
string and laughed as if he would
1 i.
U U15) L,
"Brough had watched the odd incident
with a puzzled sraile.
" 'What was the idea of that performance?'
he asked, as the conductor
pinned on his badge again.
" 'Why,' said the conductor, pointing
hi? thumb derisively at the driver,
who still, from a distance, shook his
fist and swore?'why, ye see. 'is father
was 'ung.' "?Washington Star.
Not Appropriate.
Senator Beveridge was replying at
a dinner in Washington to a defender
of the Sugar Trust:
"When you say that." the Senator
cried, "you say something ludicrously
unexpected and malapropos.
"You remind me of a man at his
brother's funeral. This man bent
over the grave and closely watched
the lowering of the coffin down into
the clean-cut rectangular chamber
prepared for it. Me heaved a sigh as
the coffin came to rest, and said to
the undertaker heartily:
" "It's the neatest fit T ever caw in
my life. Come and have a drink on
* ' Clov
uie umiu ui ii. ?)vajuiii3,uu uuu.
T1h? Ximv nniilnikl Spirit.
One thin? we New Enelanders like
about us is our all-around superiority
to the people of the rest of this great
and glorious country.?Spriuglield
Union.
The capacity of the Atlantic cables
is COO,000,000 words annually. Only
JLILflflOJlM are sent.
The Head Rest.
Henry E. DIxey at a New Tear oupper
was offered a cigar by a young
lawyer. t ' !
"It Is easy to see," said Mr. DIxey, ,
pTaminintr thft o.iear. "that you are
not married, but only engaged."
"I am engaged. But how did you
i know? It's a secret," cried the lawlyer.
"I knew," said Mr. Dixey, "because
you have frequently offered me a cigar
from your vest pocket and it has
always been broken." ? Washington
Star.
A. Horning Eruption Covered Her
From Head to Feet.
"Four years ago I suffered severely
with a terrible eczema, being a mass
of sores from head to feet and for six
weeks confined to my bed. During
that time I suffered continual torture
from itching and burning. After being
given up by my doctor I was advised
to try Cutlcura Remedies. After
the first bath with Cnticura Soap
and application of Cutlcura Ointment
I enjoyed the first good sleep during
my entire illness. I alBO used Cutlcura
Resolvent and the treatment was
continued for about three weeks. At
the end of that time I was able to be
about the house, entirely cured, and
have felt no 111 effects since. I would
advise any person suffering from any
form of skin trouble to try the Cutlcura
Remedies, as T know what they
did for me. Mrs. Edward Nenning,
1112 Salina St, Watertown, N. Y.,
Apr. 11, 1909."
He Was Coming Down.
r'-?- ??? ? a?A UtrOif Iff
DUlilC JCdIB agv wuoaw Mt ww .
Perth, Scotland, a not very sober man
known as Jamie. One night an acquaintance
found Jamie lying at the
foot of his stairs. "Is that you
Jamie?" asked the caller. "Ay,
me!" replied Jamie in a tone of resignation.
"Have ye fa'en doon the
stairs?" was the next question. "Ay,
I fell doon, but I was comin' doon,
whether or no!"?Philadelphia Inquirer.
Piles Cared in 0 to 14 Days.
Pazo Ointment is guaranteed to cure any
caseof Itching, Blind, Bleedingor Protruding
Piles in 6 to 14 days or money refunded. 60c.
Spain's Congress of Deputies consists of
4CG unpaid members.
Tightness across the chest means a cold
on the lungs. It means misery and discomfort
every minute, if nothing worse.
What's the answer? Rub the chest with
Hamlins Wizard Oil quick.
In twenty-five years the population ol
Berlin has tripled itself.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiamma- >
tion.ailayspain. cures wina colic, 25c.& bottle.
Whooping cough kills more children under
five years of age than scarlet fever.
Itch cured in SO minutes by Woolford't
Sanitary Lotion. Nsver fails. At druggists.
ITALIAN CLIFF VINEYARDS. '
Grapes Growing in Places Reached ^
'Rmwvs ?nri Ladders.
??
The steepest vineyards in all Europe
if not In all the world are situated
on the northwest coast of Italy.
, I have seen grapevines growing in
many countries and In many queer
places, but nowhere have I ever seen
vineyards located like those on the
seacoast between Levanto and Spezzla.
The vines in some places along the
Rhine grow on very steep hiilsid^,
but nothing to compare with those
growing on the lofty Italian cliffs.
You can now an^ then get a good
glimpse of these vineyards while riding
in the train from Genoa to Pisa,
which follows the coast almost all the
way. The trouble is that tunnels succeed
each other in rapid succession,
thus continually breaking off the
view of the sea and of the rocky
coast.
After leaving Levanto, a small
town situated on a semi-circular bay,
and going through a long tunnel, you
soon come to what are called the villages
of the Cinque Terre. Each village
is separated from the other by
lofty cliffs. The vines cover the face
\ of these bold cliffs, which are almost
> perpendicular. As such places can
| be reached only by ladders or ropes
, the difficulty of working the vineyard
and of gathering the crop of grapes
can easily be imagined.
Almost as striking are those placee
where the vines are trained upon
wire across gorges made by the
streams which cut the rocky coast.
This whole region is probably unique
in its viticulture. Only men like the
Italian peasant farmers, who love
tVio vino nnri its luscious fruit. WOUld
go ^to so much labor and trouble as
to plant vineyards on the face of
sheer cliffs.?American Wine Press.
A WOMAN DOCTOR
Was Quick to See That Coffee Was
Doing the Miscliicf.
A lady tells of a bad case of coffee
poisoning, and tells it in a way so
simple and straightforward that literary
skill could not improve it.
"1 had neuralgic headaches for 12
years," she says, "and suffered untold
agony. When I first began to have
them I weighed 140 pounds, but they
brought me down to 110. I went to
many doctors and they gave me only
temporary relief. So I suffered on,
till nne dav a woman doctor told me
to use Postum. She said I looked like
I ?*as coffee poisoned.
"So I began to drink Postum and I %
gained 15 pounds in the first few
weeks and continued to gain, but not
so fast as at first. My headaches began
to leave me after I had used Postum
about two weeks?long enough
'.o get the coffee poison out of my system.
"Since I began to use Postum I can
gladly say that I never know what a
neuralgic headache is like any more,
and it was nothing but Postum that
made me well. Before I used Postum
I never went out alone; I would get
bewildered and would not know " 1
which way to turn. Now I go alone
and my head is as clear as a bell. My
brain and nerves are stronger than
Hint, liivn honn fnr VPJ)rs."
Read the little book, "The Road to
Wellvllle," in pkss. "There's a Reason."
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
? are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.