The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, January 19, 1910, Image 2
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1,'EXVOI OF THE HOOKED GOWN*.
.When the last hooked gown's in the ragbag.
and the hooks are rusty ancl
bent,
iWhen the buttoned gowns are all buttoned.
and the dressmakers cease to
invent
Dark schemes to annoy poor husbands,
weary and worn and old.
iWhsti our thumbs have ceased from their
aching
And our heated remarks grown cold.
We shall rest?and faith we shall need it?
at peace in a golden chair.
Shall loll on a sort of throne like the man
who'd the nerve to swear;
" 'And the man who set out with the wrong
hook and ended the game in a fix
Shall hear the cold ice tinkling where the
drinks of the gods they mix.
There shall be no pads to confuse us. no
store shapes to get in their place.
No foolish, silly contraptions, embroidery
or Irish lace;
But all the hooking we do there, on that
mythical, friendly star.
Shall be with a Sensible Harness up the
.Back of Things as They Are.
?Red Hen.
QBwaoarnTOTmrTOOTPppo
Lawrie's Chicken Thief
Cy MAY STUART.
"If we can only succeed in pleasing
Mr. Jessup, he is quite sure to choose
Bardtown," said Mrs. Tate at the
breakfast table. "Remember, chil
dren, that it depends upon our family
almost entirely whether we have the
1 new school and library buildings, or
whether they are given across the
river. I'm sure we none of us want
Fenwick to get ahead of our town, do
we?"
"Indeed we don't," chorused the
children. "We just hate Fenwick."
"And besides," added Lawrie, "if
we don't have a good school here,
how are we going to prepare for col/
lege?"
"You see," their/ aunt went on,
"your Uncle Darius being the minister,
we shall be expected to entertain
Mr. Jessup. I want every one of you
children to promise to be good and to
do whatever you can to heir."
"We will!" chorused the children
readily.
"Mr. Jesup is expected to-morrow
morning," added Uncle Darius:
"Your aunt is going with me to
Chatham this afternoon, and we will
not bd back tilj late. Be sure to take
good care of everything."
Telling the children to be sure to
Feed the chickens and fasten the barn
up tight after Ezra milked the cow
a and fed the horse, Unple Darius and
V* i. J * - j
AUUl auuib ueptutcu.
Lawrie, being the oldest, felt called
upon to boss the rest of the children,
' and he did it without flinching. Sam
did not mind it because he never
, cared to be a Jeader, but Ethel and
Don did, and tfey did not a.bit relish
doing just as Lawrie said. The climax
came at supper. Ethel helped
herself to a second piece of fruit cake
and Don followed suit.
"You can't havfe two pieces of
cake," said Lawrie cheerfully.
"Just watch and see if we can't,"
replied Ethel defiantly, taking a bite.
"You know Aunt Abbie wouldn't
let you," Lawrie went on.
"She never said so," declared Don.
.' "Oh?oh!" cried Lawrie accusingly.
"She didn't!" said 'Ethel, 'and
you're just too dreadfully bossy for
anything, Lawrie Tate. Aunt Abbie
never said anything more than she
thought two pieces might be bad for
us, and?" '
Ethel was interrupted by Frances,
the old colored cook, at the door, her
wool fairly standing on end, and the
whites of her eyes showing wide in
fright.
"I jes' done bring in de wood f'm
r de pile, an* dey's a man in de chicken
house!" she gasped.
"Chicken thieves!" <jried Lawrie.
springing up. "I just expected some
fellow would be along after I bought
those Plymouth Rocks. We've got to
catch him, boys?come on!"
Lawrie took his uncle's rifle, which
had been loaded for many a year;
Saih a heavy hickory cane, and Don
the poker, while Ethel and Frances
brought up the rear with a long piece
of clotheslineto tie the thief when he
was captured.
"Wait a second." said Lawrie, as
they went noiselessly out the front
door, and he ran back in the sitting
room and got Aunt Abbie's shawl.
"If we get him," he continued in a
whisper, "I shall throw this over his
head so he won't see we are only
children, and then we can tie him all
Tight. You two women stay back a
ways until we get him?'cause he
may show fight."
Lawrie took command now, without
question. Most of the chickens
belonged to him.
Sure enough, as they ueared the
chicken-house there was a commotion
among the chickens, and the shadowy
form of a man could be seen.
"Draw back into the shadow!" ordered
Lawrie, as heS^dvanced cautiously,
j^he shawl unfolded in readiness
to throw over the^nan's head.
Just at that moment the ^hief unexpectedly
appeared at the corner of
the chicken house, and Lawrie almost
. fell into his arms. With rare presence
of mind, however, he shouted in
a gruff, manly voice, and with unerring
aim threw the shawl over the
thief's head. Then the others rushed
U)S, auu ?i? a. milium, UCIUIU Lilt; LlllfL
had time to collect his thoughts, he
was tightly wound up with clothesline
and the shawl firmly fastened down
"Now," said Lawrie, still in his
gruff, manly voice, "you come right
along. I've got a shotgun here, and
if you dare to open your mouth I'll
pepper you." Th*? man tried to say
something, but Lawrie poked him in
the ribs ^vith the shotgun.
"You're goiag tc jail and the quieter
you are the better," added Lawrie.
Then he instructed Frances to lock
tho fV?/%
a?iV. UVUCV ?VAW I Ci-iVl - UV. IJl
headed down the road toward Sheriff
Handy's house.
Ethel felt uncomfortable. She was
very sorry for the man. even if he
were a thief, so bundled up that he
had to stumble along tinder Lawrie's
guidance, anj somehow, as they
' walked on her conscience troubled
her a little for taking the man Jb completely
unawares.
"Lawrie," she said, "perhaps lip'd
"Shut up!" growled Lawrie, so
crossly that she was really afraid to
finish her sentence.
By that time the village square was
reached and there came her uncle's
buggy with his kindly face peering
out toward the blinking village lights.
"Heigh-ho, what have we here?"
asked Uncle Darius in surprise.
"It's a chicken thief," explained
Lawrie. triumphantly, "and we're
taking him to Mr. Handy." *
"Chicken thief!" exclaimed tnicle
Darius. "Give the fellow a chance to
breathe, Lawrence."
"My new shawl!" groaned Aunt
Abhie. "What won't you children do
next! Why, Darius?" then Aunt.
Abbie gasped and pointed to the
man's right hand, in whi<\h was
clasped a pigskin traveling bag.
Lawrence was undoing the shawl,
and in a minute a perspiring and
wrathy face appeared. Uncle Darius
and Aunt Abbie gasped in horror.
"Mr. Jessup!" they exclaimed, and'
Uncle Darius was out of the buggy in
a minute.
"Laws-a-massy!" groaned Frances.
The children were too horror stricken
to speak, and Lawrie felt as small
as a mosiquito.
"I came on this evening's train instead
of waiting till morning,,!' explained
Mr. Jessup. "and I tried to
find your house. I lost the road
somehow in the dark when I thought
I was almost there, and fell into thehands^
of a lot of brigands. This is
my w.elcome," and he scowled. "Some
fellow threatened to shoot me if I
spoke, so I thought it safer to keep
silent, as I couldn't see."
"It was'a very careless mistake of
the children's," began Aunt Abbie.
"Children?" said Mr. Jessup, and
he looked around at the three cowerine
figures. "Do you mean to tell
me I was captured by children?"
"Yes," said Uncle Darius. "I was
obliged to go away, and left them
alone. They thought you were a
chicken thief, as they had some chick-1
ens they value highly, and .you were ,
right by my chicken house."
By the time the family reached
home again Mr. Jessup had quite recovered
his spirits, and he proved a
very jolly visitor.
Lawrie was unusually quiet. Mr.
Jessup made friends with Ethel. "If
you had listened to me, Lawrie,"
said Ethel, "I was going to tell you
he didn't look like a thief and carried
a beautiful new bag, but you
made me shut up."
Mr. Jessup sppnt three days instead
of one with the Tates, and went back
to his city home without visiting Fenwick.
A few "days afterward Uncle
Darius received this letter:
"Dear Mr. Tate: I have decided
that Bardtown is the best place for
the new school, especially to teach
its youth the latest methods in catching
chicken thieves, and if you and
Miss Ethel can make it convenient to
visit me in the city for a few days I
think we can speedily arrange plans
for the school, and also for the library."?Washington
Star.
PICTURES OF IMMIGRANTS.
Street Camera Man Making Souvenirs
of Newcomers in Battery Park.
The street camcra man who takes
your picture in one minute for one
cent has found a new and profitable
field. Instead of roaming around the
streets looking for trade, he has stationed
himself down in Battery Park
near the Immigration Bureau.
He waits until a boatload of immigrants
come over from Ellis Island
and when they have come out on the
street he get3 busy. He knows that
there are always some friends of the
immigrants down to welcome them
and he also knows that the friends
like to have pictures to show the new- j
comers in later years, how they \
looked when they first landed in New
York.
So when the immigrants begin to
come out on the street in tow of their
friends the camera man bawls out in
a loud voice: "Have your friends' pictures
taken. Next year you can show
them how they looked when they
were greenhorns."
Snmo of immiprnnf-R are Sftv of
the camera, but enough of them are I
caught to make the photographer's !
venture profitable.?New York Sun.
Two Cases.
The Clerk of Arraigns on Assizo
was swearing the jury, when a juryman
said:
"Speak up! I cannot hear what you
say."
The presiding Judge asked him if
he were deaf.
"Yes, my Lord, of one ear.''
"Well," responded the Judge, "you
may go, for it is necessary that jurymen
should hear both sides."
Another Judge, however, on a like
objection, said:
"Oh! let him be sworn; we only
hear one side of a case at a time."?
Vnnr V a r l? WArl/1 I
t " j. VI a i? ui tu.
Fishing in Palestine.
One of Private John Allen's favorite
stories is about a Georgia bishop. '
One of the members of the bishop's
church met the reverend gentleman
one Sunday afternoon and was horrified
to find the bishop carrying a shotgun.
"My dear bishop." he protested. "I
am shocked to find you out shooting
on QnnrJnv Tho Anncjfldc Hid Tint frv
shooting on Sunday."
' No," replied the bishop, "they did
not. The shooting was very bad in
Palestine, and they^ent fishing instead."?Cleveland
Leader.
Coal in Japan.
There is not iess than 1,200,000.000
tons of coal deposited in Japan.
This coal is now being mined at the
rate of 14,000,000 tons a year. The
coal seams usually vary from three to
eight feet, and are mostly so conveniently
situated that they can be
worked by incline, there beinj very
few shafts in operation vet.. Som<*
snaiLS are. nuwe?ei, uuu^ ouun iu .<.
depth of 1000 feet, and two 900-foot
shafts have just, recently started
working.
??
The mole of the Western Pacific
Rftilroad at Oakland. Cal.. is nearly
completed. It is S000 feet long and
is ultimately to be a solid fill 1200
.1 feet wide. ,
j * .D
Feminine Financing. i
The woman who can resist the al
lurements of the displays that the ?
stores are making in their various de- 1
parturients this season, and not spend <
more money than *fehe had originally
set aside for shopping expenses has
enviable strength of mind. There are
so many little things that cost only a ;
trifle, but give such a needed touch to ]
this or that gown or suit, that one ]
can exhaust a well-filled purse before ,
realizing to what a sum the trifles are ?
mounting.?Philadelphia Record. i
Wins Damages in France. 1
Not since the Steinheil murder j
trial has Paris been so excited about i
a court proceeding as the gay city has t
become over the breach of promise i
suit successfully pushed by Madamoi- |
selle Barette in the civil court of St. j
Etienne. The amount awarded in 3
. recompense for the damage to her
heart was only 2000 franc3, or $400, t
but the interesting feature of the pro- i
ceeding, to the Parisians, was the 3
fact that the action ever was begun, j
Such cases are rare * there. The }
ground for the suit was the plaintiff's (
aHegation that her fiance broke off a
two years' engagement on the day the I ]
banns were published. A legal au-' i
thority says the 'action is the first for ?
I breach of promise in which damages (
j ever have bpen given in France.? j
f New Yorfy Press. (
i' j
Blue and Lavender. (
Designers have combined in their <
| desire for blue and lavender, used to- s
gether in a gown or a wrap. The <
evening frocks are usually in these i
two colors whenever a woman can j
?. o ) Tomato Sauce.?For st
t3 5 ( To a half pint of .tomato j
gg 3 > add a bay leaf, a slice of <
? j soda. Cook for teir mint]
<? | / granulated sugar, strain ;
S'S J - parsley. Have blended sr
If / butter apd flour, over whi<
^ 3 { mato' juice, stirring until
j wear them. One fabric in lavender
I is draped into another fabric of'blue, (
{ or two shades of blue and two of ]
lavender are so deftly laid over eafch i
other that the efTect is like a soap 1
bubble. (
Blue and lavender bugles and i
beads are used for embroidering lace 11
and net, crepe de chine, and liberty (
sSilk. ' A chiffon of one 'color is 1
J dropped under a net of the other t
> color, and tulle, embroidered with j
; the bugles, is draped over both. t
The wonderful liberty crepes and
; silks which are so fashionable for
i gowns are used in a confused mass,
: so that it takes the keenest observer ,
: to know where one tone kids and an- j
other begins.?New York Times. (
j, Thanks For Letters. .
Remember the old legend of the |
brazen head with its "Time is. Time 1
, was. Time is past." j
' Write the letter of thanks before |
it gets too late.
The apology will be much more j
difficult to pen than the "thank you." i
Anything that is nice enough to ac- ,
cept is nice enough to be grateful for. ]
now ao. yuu itswi wueu sumcuuuj
fails to show appreciation at a gift of
your making?
It is comfortable to at least know
that the present you have given was
received.
Don't hurry the Christmas letter.
Take a comfortable half hour alone,
a do write a letter that is a little more
than a line of perfunctory acceptance.
| Get a little of yourself into the
j thank-you letter. If your friend
[ cared for .you enough to send the
gift, she will want to have a little
' of you in return..
Just between Christmas and New
Year's Day is the ideal time for the
reply. Never any later.?New York
Press. * j
Cheerfulness at Meals. \
A thousand little windows are I
opened by the cursory conversation i
at the breakfast table through which '
to look into the deeps and shallows '
1 of the home. i
Sometimes the only meeting place 1
of a family of growing boys and girls
is* at the table. Yet. as a rule, how ;
mifich is left to be desired in the way
of cheerfulness and conversation dur- i
ing the mealtimes of most large fam- :
ilies. . 1
There is only one way to create a i
revolution in the family conscious of i
having dull, silent and uninteresting
meals. It is for each member of it to
turn over a new leaf. Each one rqust '
come to the table prepared to show
Viici n* ha-r Itoat ciHo Hi P tdfl "nftfin
withheld from family life, be it be- i
stowed never so abundantly elsewhere.
<
Every member of the family must
: realize, as evening closes in and the 1
] varicolored threads of the busy day
I are gathered together, that there /
j must be a little unselfish effort made
by each one if the unity is to be pre'
served and the family life kept har- i
monious.
The cheerfulness that tells most at
family meals finds expression in light,
pleasant, happy talk. Do not bring i
your troubles to the table, but inter- i
esting stories, anecdotes and the hap- i
I penings of the corner ot tne worm in
i which your work is situated. If the
father brings homo pleasant, things to
talk about, his business life will bo :
real and glowing to those who love
and believe in him and can see life 1
only through his eyes. To be cheerful
is not to be artificial, neither is it
> ' V.
woman's]
REALM
st
^ '
i
:orcing insincerity upon those around
rou. Cheerfulness is a form of unselfishness,
a difficult, noble form
ivhich is too seldom given the appre:iation
it deserves.?New York Press.
Riding Astride.
"Riding astride is not so generally
idopted by women in America as in
England," said Charles T. Krauss,
lead riding master at Durland's
Academy, when approached on the
subject of correct form in horseback
iding, "and I predict that it never
will become popular. Out of foytyIve
ladies who participated ' in our
;rand fete recently, only one rode
tstride, and she remarked afterward
;hat she wished she hadn't. I agreo
vith that sentiment. It is not a
graceful pose, and to my mind there
s nothing more beautiful than a
graceful woman.on horseback.
"In England riding astride is ex;remely
prevalent among women, and
ve do see much of it among the very
roung girls out in the park, but as a
ule American women go in for grace
ind charm, and they are not willing
,o sacrifice it for fad or fancy.
"We are quite in favor of children
iding astride, as it is easier for their
ithesome figures, but when they grow
i little older we advise the side sadlle.
The English contend that it is a
)hysical advantage, and not so tiring
>r taxing on the system to ride
istride, but our American physicians
lo not agree with this idea. On the
:ontrary, they contend that it is physically
bad and not to be recommended.
They also declare that horseback
iding is the most joyous and healthjiving
exercise one may indulge in/
;eaks, entrees and pork and beans:
uice, heated to the scalding point,
jnion and a small pinch of baking
ite3, stir in half a teaspoonful of
md add a teaspoonful of minced
noothly one tablespoonful each of
:h pour gradually the seasoned tothe
sauce is smooth.
"Has the automobile craze lessened
:he popularity of the horse? Oh, no.
Despite many predictions, equestriansm
has steadily increased in popuarity.
Thousands are interested toiay
where only a" score or more wei J
nterested a few years ago. ' During 9
)usy day we 3end out to the Park. th?
Irives and the ring over 600 horses.
We are now forming our classes for
:he winter. It is our busiest season,
md there seems to be a growing en:husiasm."?New
York Times.
Speaking of Good Taste.
Good taste abounds. It is all abou*
:s and around, yet, if the truth be admitted,
it is equally and sadly lacking
3n every side. ,
Taste is such a personal thing and
?ood taste such an arbitrary term
lhat the mere mention of taste dislinctions
calls forth the old. old defense
that there is no standard c".
:aste as there is none of beauty.
It was long ago conceded by artists
ind those in a position to know tha<
jeaujy has set its standard?its mosi
decided standard. Taste has taken
[ike stand and proclaimed a distinct
dividing line in favor of good and
igainst the indifferent and poor. There
ire even degrees of each.
What is good taste? It is some
.ning line "cnarm in a siory, af inne
tia?d to define, but we recognize it at
Dnce when it is present; its absence
palls and sickens us.
In dressing good taste holds a position
similar to that in other arts. In
sntertaining there are the 30-called
'canons of good taste" that make ii?
bred actions impossible to the cultured
classes, and in household decoration
there is the unmistakable evidence
of "good taste" that we hear 01
and that indicates the rank and eduction
of the householder. In dressing
there are hallmarks that distinguish
and earmarks that condemn.
There is a positive yearning among
the initiated to impart knowledge tc
those who are outside of the beautiful
gate. The creator of the gown mar
velous and its appropriate accessor}
will find his productions more satisfying
to himself when there is appreciation
of them broadcast.
Much of the dispute about taste
arises through the accessory. A thing
is not likely to be bad alone, but plac?
the reasonable looking coat beside tht
most unreasonable of hats and choke
the owner in an impossible collar 01
tie and see wh^; their victim looks
like. The cruel deed is not done foi
her; she is the author of her own de
feat. Her observation is untrained
her eye uncultivated.
While the charm and the science ol
good taste in dressing may not be di
dactically taught, there are helps bj
the way and by the wayside. It is at
evasive study; each new case brought
before the notice of the novice maj
disprove her lately acquired theories
but constant practice on the broad
highway and in the drawing roon:
will train the eye and the mind as tc
the whya and wherefores of good
dressing.
Self-study is a branch not to be
scorned in this observation lesson
Before the long mirror may be made
;ucn personal comment and such thorough
search that some good, anri
great good, must eventually come c!
it.
There is. too. within the boudoii
and with no more foreign subject foi
study than the personal self, a positive
right, a freedom, to make critica
comment that approaches the unkind
in more public places.?New Yorii
Press.
FEW HAD BREAKFAST
IN XVI. CENTURY.
Nop Were Carrots or Other Ed
ible Roots Grown in England Before
Henry Vlll.'s Day.
Jydging from -a passage in Harrison's
"Descriptions of Britain,"
breakfast eating in the sixteenth cenI
tury was held to denote effeminacy,
Says the Chicago News.
"Heretofore," he writes, "there
hath been mpre time spent in eating
and drinking than commonly is in '
these days; for wherea* of old we
had breakfasts in the forenoon, beverages
or nuntions after dinner, and
thereto reare suppers when it wasiime
to go to rest, now tjiese od repasts,
thanked be God, are verie well,
left, and ech one (exdept here and
there some young hungrie stomach/
that cannot fast till dinner time),
contenteth himself with dinner and
3upper onlie. . . . The nobilltie,
gentrie and students ordinarilie go to
dinner at eleven before noon, and to
supper at or between five and six at
afternoon. The merchants dine and
jup seldom before twelve at noon, and
sup at seven or eight; but out of the
cearme, in our universities, the scholars
done at ten."
Until, the end of the reign of Henry
VIII., according to the historian,
Hume, no carrots, turnips or other
edible roots wefre produced in England.
The few that were used were
imported, .and the state papers con:ain
numerous references to the despatch
of messengers to the Continent
for vegetables and salads to grace the
table at imoortant royal banquets.
Cucumbers also were unknown until
the sixteenth century, and celery owes
its introduction in England to the
French "Marshal Taillard, who Was
imp^soned ia England after his defeat
by Marlborough.
Broccoli and cauliflowers came
t'rom Cyprus in the seventeenth century,
and the potato, brought to England
by Sir Walter Raleigh about
1584, was nit, in general use until
1663. when the Royal Society directed
attention to it and recommended
its cultivation,
KAISER'S ONLY DAUGHTER.
Princess Victoria Lnise No Longer in
"Backfisch" State.
The confirmation of the Kaiser's
?nly daughter. Princess Victoria Ljiise
of Prussia, which brought her father
back to Potsdam and was attended by,
representatives of all the'" ruling
houses of the empire, 2s not considered
merely as her formal recepMon
<nto the Evangelical Church.
German tradition as well as German
religion has something to say to
it. Confirmation in the case of a v
young lady^of seventeen marks the
termination of what is somewhat ungallantly
known as her "Backfisch"
state.
-BacKnscny is tne; equivalent ox,
'fish for frying" (or baking) and a
, pun from the kitchen. In a solid
k sense it means the unfledged state of
, iamsels who are not "out" and who
are consequently not entitled to "put
, their hair up." Princess Victoria's
flaxen locks m--\y novf be arranged In
the prevailing fashion.
She may go to at homes and other
social affairs of the kind, and as she.
is a very charming person, she may be
expected to go the matrimonial way
' before her "Backfisch" state has been
| left many years behind her.?Pall
' Mall Gazette. \
Defining an Anthem.
A sailor who had been to a church
service, where he heard some fine
music, wss afterward descanting uj^pn
an anthem which had given him great .
pleasure.
A listening Bhipmate finally asked:
"I say, Bill, what's a hanthem?"
"What?" exclaimed Bill. "Do you
. mean to say you don't what a
hanthem fs?"
| "Not me."
"Well, tjien I'll tell yer. ' If I was
to aSK yer, Jiire, nin, give uic uai
, 'andspike,' that wouldn't be a han!
them. But if I was to say, 'Bill, Bill,
Bill, give, give, give me, give me
that, Bill, give me, give me that 'and,
give me that 'andspike, spike, spik?,
Bill, give me that, that 'and, 'andj
spike, 'and, 'andspike, spike, spike,
Spike. Ahmen, ahmen. Bill, give
me that 'andspike, spike. Ahmen!'
Why, that would be a hanthem."?
Tit Bits.
Governor Stubbs a Good Neighbor.
Mrs. W. R. Stubbs has turned the
executive residence into a cooking
camp for the benefit of her neighbors,whose
gas supply has vanished. The
Governor's home uses no gas. It
burns coal from the prison mine.
After the gas became so low that
people in that neighborhood could do
no cooking Mrs. Stubbs threw the exoonHve
residence onen. As a result |
the kitchen ranges are working over,
time. Mrs. Stubbs is overseeing fte
, affair. As soon as one neighbor worn-*
! an gets her food cooked she takes it
, and leaves for home and another
, neighbor has hers put on.
For a while the rush wan so great
, that Mrs. Stubbshadto give "checks,"
! 30 that the numerous neighbors would
know when their turn came.?Topeka
Dispatch to Kansas City Journal.
, Poor Deer Season in Wisconsin.
Deputy Game Warden Jacob De
r Long has checked up a little over 400
deer received, transferred or passing
. through here to other points. This is
* the smallest number over reported at
this point. Usually 2000 or more
[ have been checked here by game waiv
riens. Bad hunting conditions, a
1 growing scarcity of deer anil a limit
I of one to each hunter are reasons assigned
by the warden for the small
number.?Chippewa Falls, in Milwaukee
Sentinel.
Xot With Malice.
"Look here." said the head of the
; firm. -1 want to give you a pointer."
"Yes. sir." the office boy respectfully
replied.
"Tf I hear yo;i humming any more
popular songs around here I'll dis|
charge you."
"All right. T won't do it no more.
[ wouldn'z have done it this time only
k mo Hue ij snrft nnfI I r.an't whistle."?
I Chicago Record-Herald.
! !?II *! ! I)
. ' | * - - T^ie
Value of Good Roads.
BT GEORGE C. DEIHL.
Within the next few years the question
of good roads will be one of, if
not the leading, commercial issue of
the day, not excepting the tariff. The
United States is far behind Europe in
this character of internal improvement,
although Excelling in most others.
The causes may be stated generally
as follows: Imperfect State
laws; inefficient and improper admiuistration
and management of roads;
ignorance on the part of local roa^
builders of the principles and methods'
of road construction; ignorance
of the qualities essential in road
building materials and lack of facilities
for ascertaining such qualities;
lack of sufficient research and experimental
work to devise changes or improvements
in road"materials or existing
method of construction sufficient
to meet modern conditions, reduce
cost or increase efficiency:
The farmers and motorists, amo'ng
many others, receive direct benefits
from the construction of good roads;
and "although everyone practically receiver
direct or indirect benefits, tho
most active agencies to secure good
roads must be the farmers and motorists.
It will be but a few'years before
we will stop using the terms
farmers ! and motorists, and v say,
rather, farmers and tourists; as with
a properly developed system of good
roads the fanner will find It more
economical to market his produce
with Aotor vehicles.
The Federal good roads department
stages that the direct saving to tho
farmers of this country from properly
constructed roads would be $25 d,frDO.OOO
annually; that there would
be \ saving of over $10,000,000 in
marketing the wheat crop alone; of
ov^r $12,000,0()0 in marketing tho
corn crop; and of $5,000,000 in marketing
the cotton- crop. , However
great the money value of good roads
may'appear to be, it is not as important
as the educational and social advantages
to be derived ^hereform by
the residents of rural communities.
Bad roads restrict educational facilities,
limit the rural free .delivery service,
and prevent,the proper development
of social Ufe in tfie country.
Good roads permit of grade schools
in the country, extend the rural free
delivery service, and check the exodus
of young men and women from
the farm to the city. Already in localities
where roads have been improved
we see the movement from the
city to the farm.
Motorists end ljgrmers by frequent
good roads conventions, by continuing
campaigns of education, and by individual
and organized activity, can
bring about sufficient appropriations
by towns, counties, States and nation.
It is a part of their duty to see that
these moneys are expended wisely,
under competent direction, and in a(v
cordance with systematic and wellorganized
plans. The system now in
operation in the State of New York
can be commended highly to many
of her sister States, particularly in
the matter of classification of roads
outside of cities and villages. These
roads are divided into State, county
and town roads. The State roads
are the main traffic lines connecting
the larger centres of ""population.
They comprise four per cent, of the
total mileage of the State, and aro
to be constructed and maintained-'directly
by the State, and at State- expense.
?The county roads are those
which form^ within eacn couniy a
properly developed system of main
market road3, taking into account
their use for the purposes of common
traffic and travel. These roads comprise
about six per cent, of the totaj
mileage of the State and are constructed
undet- State supervision and
at the joint expense of the State,
county and town. The town roads
comprise the rest of the roads of the
State, constituting about ninety per
cent, of the total mileage. They are
built and maintained under the direction
of the local authorities, but
with State supervision, the cost being
borne jointly by the State and town.
?From Recreation.
Baltimore Fire in Europe.
a falgp renort emanating from
Paris, the effect of which* was that
one-half of the city of Baltimore,
Md., was in ashes, was printed widely
in Germany. The loss by fire was estimated
at $60,000,000, and the reported
disaster evoked sympathetic
editorials in the newspapers, which
also in many cases reprinted the
story of Baltimore's conflagration of
same years ago.
.- Many Americans, some of them
from Baltimore, made anxious visits
to the American Embassy and tho
newspaper offices in Berlin inquiring
fnr Hofails
There was a fire in Baltimore with
a loss of something like a quarter oi
a million dollars. No person was
harmed and the blaze attracted nn
particular attention outside of that
city oa this side of the Atlantic! ?
New York Times.
The Kind of Critter He Was.
It was at the Cliff Dwellers, Chicago's
literary club, and one of the
members had just made a terrible,
irremediable break about another?
made it in his presence and that of
several other members.
"What ought I do now?" asked thi
break-maker, much embarrassed.
'"If I were you," suggested I''re4
Richardson, the artist, who had hcar-d
the whole proceeding, "I should go
out p:u1 wriggle my ears and cat another
thistle.'*?Success Magazine.
Safest Reason.
"And you cousider autumn the best
month for calling in your profession?"
interrogated the housewife, rj
she handed out the pumpkin ijie.
"Ah. yes. mum, ' said Truthful
Tim, as ho tipped his hat, "it is den
dat de lawn mower has been, laid
vay and de snow shovel isn't working
yet."?Chicago News.,
\ i'
11 " '2 " ? " !L ' "
HATTDE HATLEY AND HER HUGJB '
HAT.
Hich up the airship sailed around? J
'Twas filled with happy people? /
A thousand feet above the ground, I
Above the tallest steeple. 1
; One drawback only knew the crowd, B
I _'Twas Hattie's hat tremendous, ^ \ ^fl
For every time i^ie moved or* Dowecu ' 'M
They cried: "Great Heaven, defend us!" \ 9
But suddenly the casing burst. > j|
The ship sank fast and faster.
And they were all in tears immersed, 1
In prospect of disaster. . ' ' V '.1
Down, down they plunged, till Hattie 1
I "Join hands and watch intently!"
And holding on to Hattie's hat,
They settled earthward, gently.
-William Wallace Wbifcelock. : JH
' -Dodgework Dan?"Ah, this crtiel
world! I asked the lady in the last
h<!?se to give me something^ to keep . jj
soul and .body together." Slothful i I
Sidney?"And! what did she do, I
mate?" - Dodegework Dan ? "She
handed me a safety-pin! ?Comic
Cuts.
.Well, we shall rest at last. , .
And we shall need it some, 1 ' r
When we have gone to that far bourne
From whence no postcards come. i .
He had managad to accumulate a ,
lot of money by more or lesa question- '
able methods. "I should like to do
something for the benefit of the
town," he said. "Well," suggested
the poor but otherwise honest citizen,
"you might move out of it."?Chicago
Dally News.
"Some of our prominent men," suggested
the photographer, "like to
have their photos taken in a charac- .
tertefic attitude." "Suits ine," re
j sponded the subject. "Photograph
I me. with my nose againflt a grind-^
| stone. Got one handy?"?Louisville'
I Courier-Journal. ?.*? >
I . . j */ ; : ">
There may he a babel of voices ' i
At the Peace Confederatipn. i
But Chere'B uniscn when.it comes to / \
An Esperanto cachinnatiob,
*'I always submerge myself in the "
part I am playing," said the man wha r\
claimed to have once been / with .
j Booth. "I forget that I am acting." . y
I "Well," I shouldn't think that would V
be hard for you to do. piobo&y else
seems to remember that you're act,
ing, either."?Chicago- Record Herald.'
. ( ' \ I "
Mistress (hurrying- frantically)-1?
''Mary, what time i3 it now?" Maid .. y
?"Half-past two,,mum." Mistress?
"Oh, I 'thbught it was later?i-I still
have twenty minutes to catch the '
steamer." Maid?"Yis, mum., i
knew ye'd be rushed, so I set the clock
back thirty minutes tov give ye more
time."?Puck.
Maude ? "What's the matter,,
Mabel?" Mabel (sobbing)?"I had a :
bet with Fred on. the election.; If Ii
lost, I was to marry him." Jtfa'ude?V
"There,1 there, dear. Fred'will not' ;
take advantage of the bet^to force ,?
'you to marry him." Mabel ;(sobbing
harder)?-"That's,not it. I-^-I won.''
?Baltimore American. . ' L
Constituent?"Say, Bill, itjbe salary "
that gofe? with , my dob isn't halt.
enough tj live on. Can't, you use
[ your influence to have it ' rf|3ed a
i little?" Alderman?"I'm afraid not,
i t_i? T3?,f T'li Hnmathinodbetter
v/finer. xjub M ^ _ ,
than that. I'll use *my Influence to
have a cheaper man appointed to the *
place."?Chicago Tribune. j
George Washington,, hatchet /.In
hand, had just concluded the famoua
interview with his father. MIt*
lucky," he remarked to the hired
man, "that I went after a cherry tree
instead of the North Pole. Otherwise
my motives and veracity would have
been subjects of controversy for generations.
"?Washington Star.
"Help a poor explorer wot is just
back from de North Pole,", whined/ 'f
the tramp at the kitchen window,
''and give me a bite of chicken and f
milk biscuit." . "Nonsense!" remonstrated
the good housewife. "Exjjlor
rers are not used to . chicken pie and
milk biscuit. Here's an old pair ol|
boots and half a candle. Eat and be
merry."?Chicago Daily News.
Boy His Father's Brother.
If Joseph Waldo Dux, Jr., seven
months old, is adopted by his grand!
father he will legally become his .
I own father's brother.
u 'rta rHronlt
I A petition was mcu m
I Court yesterday by Joseph Dux, an ' ~ ^
architectural sculptor of Campbell .
Park, and his wife*: grandparents of
the child. They ask leave to adopt
him as their own because of their
love and affection for him.?Chicago
Tribune. . '
- '
The Philosophy or Jugs.
J "Hey, yo' Gid! What to' yo' want x ?
to look in dat jug so?. Can't you git
the cork out?" t
" 'Tain't no cork in. Say, Mingo,",
broke off Gid, perplexidly, -how ebbejA
can the darkness in* this yah jug keep ^
the light from going in at the hole?"
j " 'Tain't that way," was the knowi
i? ijeht what keeps
I lug i oi/JJ , -? ?
the darkness from shiQln' out."?Success
Magazine. >
' r
Three Months' "Squatting."
A woman who recently applied to
th? Lambeth (England) guardians
for relief said that for the last three
months she and her five children had
lived rent free by "squatting" in the
rooms of empty houses. In Lambeth
there are many such houses which A
have reverted to the duchy of Cornwall,
and people are permitted to oc- fl
I cupy the places until the premises are H
I demolished.
Mexicans Demand Aatof;.
The automobile demand in Mexico ^
is shown to be on a steady increase. I
That the taxicab system has proved |
a success is shown by the fact that J
1 a number of new ta::Icabs for Mexico J
City are now en voyage, and it is thfe M
intention of the company operatiim
them there to increase the numbA^^^^^B
until they will form a formidab^'
I competition with the blueband
' ouaches.
. I _
Appalling News.
While on his travels he was thunderstruck
at receiving from his wife
I a telegram which ran as follov/s:
"Twins this morning. More later.'*
?Lippiuccit's. -