The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, December 29, 1909, Image 7
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. | THE n? sc j
IBCllUKEi'S j
CORNER ^-e I
Bread Sauce.
For bread sauce to serve with
poultry or game scald a large minced
onion in two cupfuls of chicken stock
and stir in a good cupful of fresh soft
bread crumbs that have been rubbed
very fine. No crust should be used.
'.Cook over hot water for five or six
minutes. Then add a bit of ground
mace?as much as one can lift on
the end of a spoon?salt and paprika.
Eeat with one of the revolving egg
.whips until the mixture is perfectly
smooth. Add a tablespconful of butIter
and serve at once very hot. Milk
is sometimes used in place of the
stock.?New York Sun.
Apple Roll.
Mix and sift two cups of flour with
two teaspoons of baking powder; rub
1n two tablespoons of butter or lard;
make a dough by adding three-quar ?r
nf milk: roll thinly about
twice as long as the dough is wide:
brush over "with softened butter,
spread evenly six chopped apples and
add sugar and nutmeg to taste; roll
like jelly roll, cut In slices an inch
thick and lay cut 3ide up on a greased
baiting pan; bake in a moderate oven
. and serve hot with a sWeet sauce.
Sauce ? Beat two egg3 until very
light, add gradually one cup of sugar
and beat again; add one teaspoon of
vanilla or lemon.?Boston Post.
Chocolate Padding.
Soak one cup of stale bread and
one of stale cake crumbsrin four cups
of scalded milk for thirty minutes.
Melt two squares of chocolate in a
saucepan over boiling water, add onequarter
of a cup of sugar, and
squeeze into this a little of the milk
from the crumbs and milk, so that
itliis chocolate mixture will pour. Add
it to the bread mixture with an additional
quarter cup of sugar. Then
add one-quarter cup salted, blanched
&n?l shredded almonds, one teaspoontful
of vanilla and lastly two beaten
?rx _ T... 4.X J
.egg*. irour lliu> a uuueieu uiau auu
bake In a moderate oven one hour.
.To be served with cream or hard
sauce.?New York Press.
St. James' Pudding.
Melt three tablespoonfuls of butter
and add one-half cupful of molasses.
one-half cupful of milk, one
and two-thirds cupfuls of flour
i(mixed and'sifted) with one-half teaBpoonful
of soda and one-fourth of a
fteaspoonful each of salt, clove, allspice
and nutmeg, and one-halt
pound of dates, stoned and cut in
pieces. Turn into a buttered mold,
cover and steam two and one-lialf
hours. Serve with the following sauce :
Beat the whites of two eggs and add
gradually, while beating constant^-,
one cupful of sugar; then add onefourth
of a cupful of hot milk and
one teaspoonful of vanilla.?Indianapolis
News.
EmSSSSDa
IBS ''HINTS'* !
When broiling halibut cover the
fish with minced green pepper. The
seasoning will be found to be deli?
cious.
To preserve parsley for winter use,
. put the freshly picked leaves into a
jar and sprinkle salt on each layer,
It will keep fresh all winter, and is
better than drying it.
When the cheese i3 too dry to
serve with pie, grate it and spread a
layer over the pie while it is still
warm. Do not make the cheese hot,
as that makes it tough.
Tn order to heat vour irons ciuickly
place a roasting pan over them and
lift the pan up each time you want to
take one out. You will notice th?
difference immediately.
Save stray cards, and when baking
cake or other pastry, use a card to
clean the mixing bowl and you will
find it will yield to any curve or angle
as nothing else will, making it possible
to save every bit of the batter.
One tablespoonful of chloride ol
fime added to an e'ght-quart pail of
water will remove stains when nothing
else will; even pear stains of long
standing will succumb. Let articles
lie in this water for a day or two, or
until stains are gone.
If you take thechildren on the train
and wish to feed them oranges, which
tend3 to quench the thirst, prepare
the fruit at home and wrap the sects
- Jr. movail r>o nor Tt is tedious to
tlUUd 1U ?? U.kOU ~ __
pare them on the train and one is
likely to soil the clothes in doing so.
In trying to whip thin cream, says
a writer in Suburban Life. I have
found, that adding the white of an
egg makes it whip very quickly. After
it is stiff, by adding a little milk
at a time and continuing the whipping.
you can make a little cream go
a long way.
Porcelain ware can be mended
with ordinary putty mixed with oil.
/Work a small particle into the worn
place, set it aside for several days
and food can be cooked in the vessel
^without danger of the unpleasant
taste one naturally supposes will tako
place when putty is used.
When a vegetable burns, or, in ^ct.
tvhen any article on your stove has
burned, place the vessel containing
the burned substance immediately in
a Fan of cold water. Let it remain
there some minutes and then remove
it to a clean pan. The burnt or
scorched taste will have disappeared.
Always keep a small slip of whjte
paper and a magnifying glass In the
sewinf* machine drawer. If the ma
china Is in shadow, slip the piece of
white paper behind the needle and
thei hold the magnifying glass at the
right angle between the cye3 and the
n^dls. The threading hole will come
out into perfect distinctness and the
^eedle can then be threaded with
e.?The Delineator.
V '^f,
"&?. ? t. - T. .
ft im imyS
MARRIJiGE IS POPULAR.
But the Wonder is That Nine-tenths
of Thein Still Hold Good.
Answering the query. Why so many
divorces? Life offers six answers:
First, becauso of the decline of authority.
Everybody in the country
wants to be his own boss, and is so,
as far as possible. Nobody wants to
obey unless obedience matches in- I
clination. Second, because there are
so many more ways than there were
| a generation, ago for a woman to
make a living. Third, because the
I price of living is so high. Men abandon
their wives'in shocking numbers
because the job of maintenance is
heavy and they get tired of it. Fourth,
because women require much more j
and give less than they did a generation
ago. They have been carefully
! endowed by law in most States with
rights and privileges proper to independence.
Fifth, because distractions
have greatly increased in American
life in a generation. Sixth, church
Influences, for the time being, are
weaker than they used to be, and
dramatic influences are more pervasive;
church influences favor continuity
in marriage; dramatic influences
favor variety. There are plenty
more reasons, but six are enough.
The wonder is that, in the face of
such convincing reasons as these,
about nine marriages in every ten still
hold good. All things considered,
marriage seems incorngioiy popular
even in this restless and progressive
; country. The united state being dif?
flcult and expensive to achieve, it is
bad business for those who have attained
to it to relapse back into the
condition of the untied.
The Shelley Legend.
Most Englishmen, then frightened
by the Terror, thought that Atheism,
Republicanism and what we now call
Free Love were all symptoms of a
new kind of wickedness which threatened
to destroy society. They were
; only too glad to make an example of
Shelley as a monster in whom all
these symptoms were united; while
he himself, condemned as consistent
in vice, was the more firmly convinced
of his consistency in virtue. After
his death, when the fears caused by
the French Revolution died away and
his music began to enchant the world,
the old legend of a Shelley with horns
and a tail gave way to a new one of a
Shelley with wings and a halo. This
has been accepted even by his detractors,
and Matthew Arnold made
skilful use of it when he called him
a beautiful and ineffectual angel,
beating ,in the void his luminous
wings in vain. ... I am not prepared
to emasculate him thus. I
treat him as a human being, and try
to prove that he was one, interesting
because of his very imperfections, because
of the ceaseless struggle of hi3
not omnipotent win . . . 1 nave
criticised him freely because I believe
that all men, even the greatest, are
imperfect in all things, and that unless
we understand the nature of their
imperfection we cannot understand
the nature of their greatness.?Mr.
Brock's "Shelley."
Rabbits in District of Columbia.
Anacostia and the southeastern
suburbs of the District are overrun
by rabbits, and unless the Police Department
overlooks some of the police
regulations and gives the residents
permission to fire a few shots
into the swarms of animals it is
feared .the vegetation will be destroyed
Until November 1 the police game
regulations prohibited tho shooting
of rabbits and exposing them for sale
or having them in possession, thus
protecting the animals which have
caused so much havoc. Another police
regulation offers them additional
protection.,
me regulations stipulate tnat no
gun or pistol can be fired in any sec1
tion of the District within 500 yards
of the public road, school, church or
residence. In certain sections of Coni
gress Heights only can a location be
found that is 500 yards from a residence.
As the rabbits do not frequent
this section, but confine their habita,
, tion to the more densely populated
, quarters, the police cannot give a permit
to the residents to fire it the alleged
pests.?Washington Post.
Adventures of Stolen Money.
To avenge himself on a bank which
he held responsible for .the loss of his
| savings, Louis Teodule Lelongt, a
j Paris bootmaker, entered the service
j of one of the partners in the bank and
I succeeded in stealing ?3000. He
' placed this money in an iron box,
which he concealed in his mother-in|
law's vault at a cemetery and fled,
after informing his wife and stepdaughter.
At length he became tired of concealment,
gave himself up to the police
and confessed all. When the
police searched the vault they found
the box gone, and Mme. Lelongt admitted
that she had removed it to her
Bi3ter's house. The police hastened
thither and recovered the box, only
to discover that it was empty. They
have now ascertained that the stepdaugb^r
took the money, which was
in notes, from the box. and sewed the
notes into the lining of her petticoat.
?Paris Correspondence, London
Standard.
Marriage at Sea.
Captain J. W. Winter, of the Brlt!
ish steamer Stowford, was married
i yesterday at sea off Algiers.
He had arranged to meet his
! fiancee, Miss Mary Eliza Duncan, a
j sister of the first officer, to be married
: at Algiers, but the vessel was sud|
denly ordered to Valparaiso. There
i was no time for the ceremony on
I land, so the English chaplain, the
j Rev. A. P. Brownyn, the acting Con[
sul and Mrs. Graham sailed out in
the Stowford. The ceremony was
! performed five miles out at sea.? '
London Daily M?il.
At t A. M.
Wifey (red hot)?''Don't try any
I evasion with me, sir. Where-have|
you-been?"
Hub (raaudlingly)?"M'dear, wlia's
sbuse! If I ansh'er your ques'hn, you
I will ques'hn my ansh'er."?Boston
j Transcript.
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New York City.?Bodice decora- r
tlons such as these are extensively
worn and are extremely handsome. 0
[n .this case the one to the left is ^
made of material braided with silk
joutache, while the one to the right
Is made from embroidered net with
Bnish of ball fringe. Both garnitures
are suited to all materials that are p
appropriate for such accessories, how- c
Bver, and either one can be made
from fancy material or from plain, ,
either braided or embroidered. Sou- L'
tached net is a favorite for such gar- c
nitures and with a finish of fringe a
makes an exceedingly handsome ef- f
feet. The garnitures can be worn r
over either decollete and high ^
guimpes or bodices made from net, t
chiffon or other thin material or from I
the soft silks and crepes de Chine that
are so much worn. t
The upper garrtiture is made in t
JjAI ileal
f i 9c%> ? ?$*>
kSmm^m
three sections, which are joined and (
closed invisibly. The lower garniture J
Is made with the bolero-like portions, (
the centre front and centre back and
the pointed front portion, all of which 1
are joined and closed invisibly at the *
left of the front. t
ti>a ouantitv of material required i
for the medium size 13 one and one- f
eighth yards eighteen or twenty-one, ?
one-half yard forty-four inches wide, i
for either decoration, with four and
one-half yards of banding, two and f
one-half yards of fringe for upper f
decoration, six yards of banding, one s
and one-fourth yards of fringe for t
lower decoration.
One-Piece Dress.
In costumes the one-piece or simulated
one-piece dress with irregular
and concealed fastenings Ls the sort
which exclusive tailors are advancing
for all hours and occasions. A trim,
severely finished wool serge dress
with long coat for morning wear;
Gomething in richer and softer material
(silk serge, voile, corded moire
i-oauoo fashmerfl or corded silk),
(pith elaborately trimmed waist portion
and a draped sheath skirt?are
;he new styles.
Gloves With Circles.
The smart gloves that many fashionable
women are wearing have the
back heavily embroidered with circles
In colored silk. This is in the color,
If not tone, as the kid of the glove.
s
Morning Suit. ^
Corduroy may be developed in y
some plain coat suit model, and will a
not be bai )ed out for morning, al- \
though quite rich enough for after- t
-?)on. , s
' . "
*"~"" , al
Hut Shaped Hats. ^ F;
Where two imaense roses appear . tl<
11.. AMi Tlf
n tne same nat tney are uBuauy u<tt ?
a shape. cc
? m
Buttons and Lace. gi
Irish crochet buttons and lace ap^
ear as trimming upon some of the
repe-llke tissues. ln
ai
Draped Turbans. g<
Many turbans of draped panne veK of
et are seen; they are to be had in al- P'
lost every shade of every color. li<
ti
Slipper Rosettes. tt
Many of the new slippers have for-? al
lal rosette bows of ribbon,' shaped a'
ike a daisy or a small sunflower. se
v ol
Simple Felt Hat. *a
"The Curtiss" is a simple felt hata
tllleul, turning up slightly, with *
elvet scarf and bow. Conventional
ut chic.
Plain and Fancy Sleeves. ai
The present might well be dubbed
, season of sleeves, for it shows at
;reat variety. Here are three, one ?'
ilain and two fancy, that will be
ound invaluable, both for new gowns 2<
nd for remaking. The sleeve that is A
rimmed with soutache is peculiarly is
veil adapted to two materials, al- N
hough as illustrated it ic made of
repe de Chine throughout. Tucked w
hiffon could be combined with mes- ^
aline and combinations without num- v/
?er might be suggested, cloth and
repe, cashmere and chiffon, velvet si
ind silk, indeed, almost any two ?
abrics that are harmonious. The fc
(lain sleeve is simple and can be used b<
dth or without trimming, while the ni
hird 3leeve is novel in the extreme. i?
n the illustration it is made of lace to
elth. the drapery of crepe de Chine at
teld by large buttons, but its possi- ol
dlities are many. Either the drapery hi
It
m
s'
Ir
. !
>r the under portion can be made to ai
natch the blouse, a"S may be most
jonvenient. J;
The sleeve to the -left is made in ,
;hree pieces, the upper portion conlisting
of two, which are joined under b
he trimming. The plain sleeve ia #
nado with upper and under portions
ind the draped sleeve is the plain s*
ileeve with trimming arranged over P1
t. ni
The quantity of material required
or the medium size is two anC three- ^
'ourth yards twenty-one or twenty- ^
even, one and three-eighth yards for- N
y-four Inches wide for tucked
leeves; one and one-half yards twen- ai
y-one or twenty-seven, tliree-fourth , N
ard forty-four for plain sleeves; ono i "
>nd one-half yards eigb oen inches ?
ride, with one and five-etehth yards
wenty-one for drapery for fanny
Jeeves.
i n
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Spoils of South Georgian j
, Waters. J
oasoceasoaeaMtMistHM
The island of South Georgia, lying
ist outside the Antarctic circle and
)Out 800 miles east-southeast of the
alkland Islands, is an important staon
for the Norwegian whalers who
ork in the southern latitude. It
imprises 1000 square miles, has a
ean temperature of thirty-four de ees
Fahrenheit, is frequently visit1
by terrific gales, and has practicalno
vegetation. This unprepossessg
land is claimed by Great Britain,
id she maintains there a resident
jvernor in charge-of the little colony
sixty persons. He is authorized to
otect the seals, sea leopards, sea
dus, sea elephant# and other animate
iat are found on these coasts, but*
le great number of whales that
jound in the waters of that locality
*e fair game for the adventurous
lamen. Fourteen thousand barrels
> ~I1 A AAA /\K_
. Uii, vt%Lucu aw f6au(vvv| nuio vulined
in four months' time by three
earn whalers recently, and the enre
quantity has been sent to Buenos
yres in a storeshlp, or floating staon,
which accompanied the boats acvely
engaged in the fishing. This
nount of oil represented a catch of
)0 whales. /
The plant that has been established
i South Georgia Island Is conducted
j Norwegians ftnd has a capacity of
DO barrels per day. From Buenos
yres, the usual destination, the oil
trans-shipped to Europe and to
ew England.
Narwhals, humpbacked, and right
hales are the species most frequenttaken,
although a magnificent blue
hale that measured ninety-five feet
i length was taken by one of the
lips. The right whales are the
trest, as well as the most valuable,
ir it is from them that the whale?ne
of commerce Is obtained. The
ime "right" was given them to des;nate
which were the proper ones
> search for. Their bone is valued
; $7500 a ton, while the fluted tusk
! the narwhal brings $3200. The oil
is a ready market at $20 per barrel,
i addition to the regular wages, each
an engaged in the whaling industry at
Duth Georgia Island receives a bonus
E half a cent on every cask of oil.
his is an acceptable present when iv
, considered that the average yeari* |
roduct reaches 20,000 barrels.?
arper's Weekly. ,
WANTED THE VALUE KNOWN.
. "A' *
hipper Didn't Object to Having the
Girl Know What Gift Cost.
A young man lirought a package
ito the main office of an express comany
on lower Broadway the other
ay and asked the receiving clerk to
md It to a towh up-State.
The clerk weighed the package and
lan asked the young man if he dered
to declare the value of it. The
Dung man said he would and put the
gure at $75. Then the clerk marked
i a corner of the package in very
nail letters, "V75."
The young man asked the meanlg
of "V75." .
"That is the abbreviation of value
75," said the clerk.
"But why do you print it in such
nail letters in an out of the way
lace?"
"Because most folks do not care
> have the value marked in letters
lat will attract attention," replied
le clerk.
"Well, I tell you, if this was just
q ordinary package I would not
ire," said the young man, "but the
uth is that this is a present I am j
ending to my intenaeci up-oiaie, so u
is agreeable, will you kindly mark
lat 'V75' in big letters up near her
ame, where she'll be sure to see it?"
-New York Sun.
The Morgan Horse.
The Morgan Is the horse that made
ermont famous. In the history ot |
le Green Mountain State the name j
f Justin Morgan ranks almost as
igh as that of Justin Morrill, which
i saying a great deal.
But fashions change in horses as in
verything else, and for a time it
>oked as though the Morgan was
lipping into obscurity, and that there
as danger of the entire loss of the
ure Morgan type. Happily this has
een averted, partly by the aid of the
hited States Government, and at
le White River Junction Fair the
00 animals entered in the Morgan
asses included many which would
e recognized at once as true descendQts
of the founder of the family.
No breed of horses ever surpassed
le best Morgans in their concenated
combination of endurance,
luck and power. A strain of the
lood is valuable in a trotting pedi-'
ree as indicating the stamina which
lould accompany speed. It was
lown at the Vermont fair that
roper handling is all the Morgans
eed to make them successful as show
orses. But their great value, and in
lis respect it is not probable that
ley ever will be surpassed, is as the
ew England farmer's all-purpose
orse among our everlasting and
;rength-testing hi'ils.
In our opinion the Morgan horse
epartment alone at White River
unction is worth to the State of Verlont
all the fair C03t3 it.?Concorn
[onitor.
Bees in a Glass Hive.
In the heart of the East End of
ondon is a most successful bee hive, i
Sat affords immense interest and
oiusement to hundreds of children.
The entrance to the hive is in a
nail garden adjoining the Town
[all. Cable street, but the hive itself
i in a museum. After entering
iroueh the wall, the bees pass along
glass-covered way. In this can be
atched the skirraisheg with and Icillig
of hostile bees by the orderlies
iaoed at various points, the house
taids can be seen at their work of
leaning the hive, the young bees
>nding their younger companions,
nd the workers laying up the honey,
o part of bee life is shut off from
le child observer.?New York Teleram.
In the course of his aeronautical
Kperiments M. Bleriot has met with
fty accidents. i
> tfv*+r''Y. r ^ 'ft *?
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J
A test was recently made in [England
of a steam engine designed to
work at pressures of as high as 1000
pounds to the square inch.
An air steam engine has been Invented
by a professor of engineering
in one of the Western colleges of
America. In this invention a cylinder
is filled with compressed atmospheric
air into which saturated steam is introduced.
The chief merit claimed
for this system ic that cylinder condensation
is almost totally avoided
by the high temperature of air compression
and the hjgh superheat of
the mixture. /
The great tidal waves observed at
Marseilles on June 15, 1909, appear
to have been caused by the unusually
high electric charge of the atmosphere
which is known to have existed
during the period of the earthquakes
which de'vastated the south of France.
The powerful attraction everted on
the surface of the earth by this elect.rfr.
chares caused earthauakes on
land and tidal waves In the Mediterranean.
A Washington, D. C., naturalist has
made a singular collection of fossil
teeth from drug shops in various
parts of China, where they are sold
under the name of "dragon's teeth,",
and are valued for their Supposed
curative powers. Upon examining
them, it was found that they W6re
the remains of many species of extinct
animals, such as the ancestral
forms of camels, sabre-toothed tigers,
three-toed horses and other creatures.
Professor Percival Lowell has
noted at his Flagstaff Observatory
that the antarctic canals om Mars are
disappearing. This waning of the
much-discussed canals seems to be a
well-recognized phenomenon. Long
ago Professor Pickering suggested
8hat we see not really the canals, but
rather the vegetation which fringes
l&eir banks. The waxing of the
canals in, spring and summer and
their waning in autumn and winter is
not unreasonably attributed to the
growth and decay of this vegetation.
The Agricultural Department has
for some time b?en engaged ln the
investigation of the subject of the
preservation of eggs with the view
of putting the official stamp of approval
on some particular method. In
the course of this work it has been
discovered that the amount of moisture
held by the air surrounding the
eggs In storage is a very great factor
In their preservation, and an effort is
now being made to arrive at some mechanical
means of regulating the air
supplied to the eggs being held for
later consumption.
THE PRICE OP PEACE.
Its Victories More Expensive Than
Those of War.
Peace has her "victories no less renowned
than war," and they seem to
be vastly more expensive. The civil
ized world is rapidly reaching a condition
in which armaments are infinitely
more costly than actual hostilities.
Last year the United States,
England, Germany and France spent
$1,000,000,000 on their armies and
navies. Since the war with Spain we
have increased our own naval and
military appropriations by $1,072,000,000.
This year seventy-two per
cent, of our aggregate national revenue
will be expended in preparing
for war, and on account of past wars.
During the present fiscal year we
have expended over $110,000,000 on
the army and land defenses, and over
$96,000,000 on the navy and naval
defenses. ?
Only twenty-eight per cent, of our
national revenue is available for national
administration. And it must
be remembered that we are just be^
glnners in this war game of beggar
my neighbor. England is increasing
her burden; Germany Is increasing
her burden; Japan is increasing her
burden; we seem destined to do as
those countries are doing, and the
dreary competition will go on until
the cost of it becomes Intolerable to
some civilized countries, and our bullous
of dollars of preparation will
vanish In the fl^me and anguish of
war. Think of it deliberately and it
Is an inconceivable condition; but it
Is actual; a pregnant and pitiable
fact.?Denver Post.
Subordinate Themselves to Fashion.
Charles Bruce-Winston, an English
,actor who has left the stage to take
charge of a dressmaking firm, says
that women make the great mistake
of subordinating themselves to fashIon
instead of "binding fashion to
their chariot wheels." Actresses, he
thinks, are the best dressed women,
because, while .they sometimes overdress,
they at least study what suits
them and nay attention to "those tiny
and apparently insignificant points
which make the difference between a
charmingly and a badly dressed
woman."
The stage, he thinks, has a great
effect on dress, but the good is often
nullified because the woman who tries
to copy the dress she has seen on the
stage has failed to mark the details,
noting only the general effect?so the
dress is a failure.?New York
Tribune.
To Thread a Needle With Wool.
Although it is almost impossible to
draw wool through the eye of an
ordinary needle, however large the
latter may be, the needle can sometimes
be threaded with fine wool, if
cotton is used as a "decoy." Both
ends of a piece of cotton should be
passed through the eye until only a
short loop remains, the end of the
wool being then run through the loop
and the whole gently pulled through,
the eye of the needle.?San Francisco
V_yU.il.
Because the demand for machinery
fa exceeding the product, in the domestic
market, it is likely that this
country will soon be buying foreign
machinery.
f MELODRAMA. ' ^
Modest hamlet; blacksmith shop 3
Painted on a canvas drop. (. >jB
Pretty Jane is talkinp -ndth
| Honest Jack, the village smith. j
| Comes a well-dressed city chap
With some oily talk on tap. ~'"S
Cuts, out Jack, the village jay., H
Jane decides to go away. 31
act in. ' J
Paper snowstorm; railroad track ? v>fl
Pretty Jane is walking back. 1
Cardboard engine makes a stir; '."'vjB
Jack arrives and rescues heri 1
Pretty Jane to altar led. 3
She and honest Jack are wed 1
Out before the blacksmith shop
Painted on a canvas drop. I
?Kansas City Journal. j
Teadher ? "How many makes 9 |
million, Johnny?" Johnny ?"Not:
many."?Judge. I
"Do you and your husband ovei .3
disagree?" "He never does."?rCJeve* v$jl
land Leader. '^1
"My footm&n left me without any i
warning." "Mine left me without 1
any spoOns."?Baltimore American. A I
The Litest fad in color ^ j
(A new thing under the nun) j
Is "messenger Doy," a shade of blue, -3
And warranted not to.run. . ja|
?Boston Herald. ? . gSISj
Lady (who haa jumped on the top r]
of another)?-"Stupid woman! Came j
down just in front of me, and nearly .J
gave me a bad fall!".?Punch. j
"What do you do for a living?'* j
'Trii a former." "Oh! A scientific^, ' '' j
up-to-date farmer?1' "Am I?
I pasteurize my milk-weed!"?Cleve- ?
land Leader.
Blobbo?"Harduppe says he owes '
everything to his wife." Slobbs?1
{'Harduupe is a double-distilled prer ?
varicatoi-. He owes $10 to me."?
Philadelphia Record. r
She (sternly)?"I heard a noisa ' . i$?
very late." He (facetiously)?"Wat
it the night falling?" She?"No,
it -wasn't. It was the day breaking."
?Baltimore American.
Mr. Sillicus?"Every time I read a
tiftTOonanof T ?of cr\rrin nanr fhnnohfa ** }> >'
iiv it uyMj/vi a qvv ev?juv ?v n Kuvwgwvw* rx-r ~ '' \f ~ ." \wu
Miss Caustique?"Indeed! I don't
suppose you find time ,t0 read very
much."?Philadelphia Record.
He grinds no dismal epics out
To ?ea or skv; \
Bui sings & little lay about >
An apple t>k>.
?Philadelphia Bulletin.
"So you don't care for mother-ofpearl,
eh?" asked the salesman in the
jewelry store. "No;" replied the sad- M
looking customer, "I married a girl
named Pearl."?Philadelphia Record.
Little Johnny attended church and 4jS<
heard a spirited political sermon. At $
dinner the same day, after one of his
unusual quiet spells, he exclaimed"Pa,
what are we, anyway, Republicans
or Presbyterians?"?Life.
uur new 5111 uujouwj tv uuiug ic ^ ,i?na
ferred to as 'the "help/ " saift Mrs.
Crosslots. "Let qs respect her phile- '
logical scruples," replied her Bu)?*
band. "Hereafter, we will caH hat (\$ha
'the hindrance.' "?Washington Star.
Mrs. Stubb (poetically)?"Ah, John,
the dun skies, the. dun fields pad th*
dun foresta. Everything Is dun these
autumn days." Mr. Stubb:?"Blamed 7,
if they aren't, Maria. Here comes
another bill collector now."?Chicago / :*
Daily News.
"Do you know, Mary, that we are
spending every cent I earn?" "Well,
I don't see why you should complain.
All the other people in our set are
spending a good deal more than they.
earn. What's the use being so penurious?"?Chicago
Record-Herald.
\ Little Willie?"Say, pa, what is the
difference between a farmer and an
I Do '< A format.
clgriL/llliui 13L ; x a a xaimci, uij
son, makes his money on a farm and
spends it in the city; an agriculturist
makes his money in the city and
spends it on a farm."?Chicago Daily
News.
' ~ - " ' t!
To Live a Century.
"It is easy to live to be a hundred
' years old?if you know how to do it."
So says Seymour Andrews, a wealthy
retired merchant of Centralla, 111. As
Mr. Andrews is only eighty-five years
old, he must wait fifteen years to de?;
monstrate to scoffers that his method
is the right one. Here i? his recipe
for a 100-year life:
"Don't worry.
"Live a plain life.
"Don't brood over the next life.
"Be a moral man.
"Use tobacco, smoke cigars or a
pipe and chew the weed.
"Eat and drink everything you care
IU1.
"Don't hurry through life.
"Don't work tog hard.
"Eight hours' sleep is sufficient.
"Don't swear?that leads to other
evils.
"Be careful of your health.
"Take exercise a-plenty.
"Be good natured, not a 'grouch.'
"I am eighty-five now," he says,
"but there are no grey h^irs in my
head. I am still active, younger, too,
than many who have not lived so
long. I never had an ache or pain,
and I live a comfortable life."?Leslie's
Weekly.
A One-Legged Soldier.
A soldier witn only one leg wouin
seem to be an anomaly, but .the "
French town of Ranbalx can boast of
one in the person of Alexandor Murth,
a Reservist of the 161st Infantry
Regiment. Murth broke his leg *somr
months ago owing to an accident
while digging a well. The limb was
amputated and replaced by a wooden
substitute.
Recently Murth was called upon tc
i undergo the usual seventeen days of
! tminlnp- at St Mihipl. He dulv nre
sented himself, expecting to be discharged,
but to his surprise was detained
at the barracks and set to
mending shoes, despite his ignorance
of the craft. The Colonel even threatened
him once with eight days' "cells"
because he was not prompt enough
in vising to tli9 salute.?London
Evening Standard.
'Although the steamship is a century
old there are stii? more than 66,
| 000 sailing vessels on the high
2 - IMIIUBUI