Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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t: 1 Little Karina Suzanne Hjortb wa: called Zanna for short. She lived ii Norway, away up on a mountaintop "Although she had been born in Nor way, she had not always lived there For ten happy years she had live< in America, and then (when Zann; was thirteen years old) they had re turned to the house on the rock which Mr. Hjorth had built for then all, close by his great mill. At first Zanna thought it was beau tiful to live on a mountain so higl that, in order to reach her home, shi had to climb up two hundred an< thirteen steps. Zanna counted then all herself, and wondered how he sturdy Norse grandfathers ever hai the patience to cut these rough step ? ? ,,J rs out ot me sonu rutti uuuuicuo v years ago. There were just two hun dred steps too many for Mrs. Hjortb who, after two or three attempts, al ways lost her breath at the unlock; .thirteenth step. So after that he husband always drove her round b; .the winding roadway, which was ver; much longer. But little Zanna al .ways liked to climb the steps. Back of their home was a noisy rushing waterfall which splashed am foamed night and day. and turned th< . J_ mm-wneeis, ana men tumuieu uuisu, down and down the rocks till it be ' came a commonplace, demure canal. Zanna often used to ride on thi queer little canal-boats to see If shi could not find some English-speakini tourists whom she might invite t< her home. But she n?ver found anj and instead, usee to watch the peas ant folk coming from the market Zanna thought she would never tir of looking at the fair-skinned, flaxen ;halred maidens with their ampl woolen skirts and bright-colored kni bodices, quaintly cut and fastenei together with curious brass or silve clasps and buckles. After awhile, however, Zanna be ' came used to the rosy-cheeked peas ants, and then she began to grow ver lonely. I think she was really a littl homesick for the children and flower; valleys of her American home. "Of course I have you and pap and Baby Joanne," she said to he wmthpr nnp riav. "And I don't thin] I would get lonesome for any on ?lse if only some green grass am pretty flowers grew up here. But it' just rocks, great, bare rocks every where. And it always make me won <!er whether the giants didn't try t build houses with these awful roc: blocks, and got angry because the couldn't, and then just threw thee round. Why, that big flat rock bad of the kitchen is twice as big as ou whole yard over the ocean!" I think Zanna grieved more thai most little girls, for she used to hav a magic touch with all growing thing and loved h^r "plant children" fa more than dolls. "Never mind," said mother, wh heard the sigh and guessed for wha her little daughter was longing. "I Is too bad we cannot have our gar den, dear, but things might be ver v* 11 wArcA Tf hoffor fnr ita all f. UlUVU ?? vy I OU, IV AO WVVVk *W1 W?? w live here with father than to hav all the flower-gardens in America." Zanna thought so, too, and like brave little girl tried not to thini about the bare, ugly rocks. I hav often noticed, haven't you, that if w don't let ourselves think of what w can't have, it makes It easier to d without them? So Zanna thought instead of Christ mas, arid of what ohe would like 1 her stockings, and on the beautifu tree which she and Joanne woul have together. In fact, she though z/A /^UniCTM UVMtl uuviJii \t\o i linn (O~doy ojr exultation,. . Of Jesus' Wondrous birtrK* 'O Kcrald oj solvation,' Good Will and peace on ear!i\' Wi{"k gladness and re/oiuh^ We Kail thy blessed morn, Loud hallelujahs v>oicino,' For_ChnjKrhe Lord ^ born! '0 happy Chris ("ma; morning 0 Dcl'KleKcnV^ brigl^ ^t"ar! The eastern ^ky adorninO, And guiding, from aj-ar^ The Ma^i, tribute brincyrv^ To Chr'^i", the new born Rind "WKile an^el ho^ are ^in^mfj) And heav^rt} arch.<23 ring^4 "We Kail Mice, dav/n oj; gfadnejj Proclaiming peace rcrmen, 'Dwelling care and sad ^55, Restoring joy again.! f .< We Worship clua adore met/ _ ? J?u5, fhis blyl" day: .troy rare we jail bejore rkecv And oWr\ l*hy jovterertm. jvtay <0 Babe ojr Bethlehem's mar\5c 0 loWly jjhepkerd^ Kn\?? O holy In^arvl* Stf'ran.per, ^ Rcceivfc l*he lovte We brir\6' 'O Jcju^ n\i?hty ?)av>iour. Our Kea rf^ We ?ivfc fo f'Kce, V/e ^eck f"hy ble53ed favfcc Lf\rou^a ?u?ererr\uxi> s so hard about it that before she knew i it the next day was to be Christmas, i. You all know how early she got up to peep into her stockings, for you >. 1 probably do the same thing youri selves. Everything was lovely by the i nursery chimney-place, and when she - hurried to the breakfast-room she 3 was just in time to meet the postman with his arms full of presents from ' her little schoolmates in America. "But Zanna hasn't seen the best of B all yet," said her mother. "More yet!" exclaimed excited Zanna. "Why, I can't think of anything else I want!" "It is so big," explained her father, with a twinkle in his eye, "that old t Saint Nick couldn't think of getting j down the chimney with it." ' "Couldn't get it down the chimney!" "No. In fact, he couldn't carry it at all. He had to get four horses, Instead of reindeer, to cart it her& in wagon loads?four hundred, I think. They left it out by the kitchen with Miss Karina Suzanne Hjorth's name on it Get on your wraps and we'll see." Sure enough! It was just as Mr. Hjorth said. The big, flat rock was covered deep with?what you'll never guess, so I'll teli you right now? with four hundred cart-loads of soil! j Rich, black, woodsy earth several feet , deep! And Zanna was so happy she ] CHRISTMAS e ft 5 3|^IIEIi^Sh8B^H9I8^8h^B8BSB .t ,' could hardly keep the tears back, for * she knew that this strange Christmas present would be a joy to her all her , e life long. And when her mother gave her ; a present,, a package of seeds of every ^ kind?mignonette, phlox, pansies and e asters?Zanna thought she was the e very happiest girl in Norway.?r e Youth's Companion. 0 The Christmas Ghosts. Ghost of the Past, in the near shadow biding n The heart's unspoken call, 1 With hand unfailing all our treasures l\ hiding i Deep in tnv chambered hall, t Draw To-day s curtain back from llemory'8 portal Ana to our sight display i What we called lost, but what thy care im mortal Has only stored away. i GhostJof the Present, shape so quickly J nyiig. Smile throueh thy little hour; l Press on our lips one kiss of love undying, I Drop at our feet one flower. Ghost of the Future, holding in suspension , The coronet and cross, Our thought of thee be hope, not appre , nension; Our proving, gain, not loss. Shine through the cloud that veils thee I from our faces; I Some beckoning joy disclose; And, like the aurora in far northern places, lirichten our Christmas snows. ?Edward A. Church, in Christian Register. The Holiday in lnsectdoou "You ought 10 *et a jolly fine Christmas box, Master Caterpillar, if you hang all your stockings up!" ?Royal Magazine. THE WOKv5HIFER.r Ta PY WINIFRED WAT.50N GANTENBEIN | u Down a little village street Rode three strangers, grave and slow. ta Women coming from the well, ta Workmen whom they chanced to meet Turned to gaze, and wondered low What they sought in Israel. k< "Ts it hut a star," they cried, "That has guided you so far? m Lo, the slcies of Palestine _ eq Beam with many a light beside! What so paltry as a star That a torch can render mean?" Then the strangers went before Where the little Christ-child lay. And the children in the street pi Followed at the oneh door. se All forgetful of tneir play Came the dusty, hurrying feet. ai Shepherd, saint and sage and child Knelt beside the manger bed. But the people in the street Turned away and lightly smiled h< At the rapturous words they said m Kneeling at the Baby's feet. "Just a little peasant child," fc Said the people passing nigh. gj "Shone a nalo round the bed # gj When the sleeping Baby smiled? 'Twas the lantern hung near by Cl Shining dimly on His head." ai Shepherd, saint and sage and child, Kneeling at the Baby's bed, 21 Heard the angels sing that morn. But the moth, still and mild, ! Listening to the words they said, Knew the glory that was born. r kj ai Christ's mission was to lead mankind to view the problems of life in win r\ f Vi ni r nr*_. X niHUiiyi?tUtttWill icau rotnvu ution. I ? > CHIMES.' ci BE) ? as n > The Star of Bethlehem. When Jesus Christ, a little child, In Bethlehem was born, There shone a star across the wild More glorious than the morn. , f It glowed and gleamed, it blazed ano Ia , beamed. ; Above the lonely hill. Ah! blessed star of Bethlehem, _ It lights the nation still! ai ?Denis A. McCarthy. CmSTHAS : CHATTCd : YULE TIDE " 9U1PSAND-QUIRKS: w UJ V.LUJ/ nuty. oT^oy^' SI Ju/t" K\c rhti\? I"o please u/, se Little girl; at\d bo>^ Nov/ tkey all arc empHeafi yc Loh for me ai\d you. ?? VySytYl" t"Kah a pretty For Santa Clam to?do? - a?lech*. 711 m Inevitable. *? The seasons come, the se;isons ? Christmas is here before we know it, P^ When we muat take our haril-earued cash- st: And indiscriminately blow it. ,-v, ?Puck. tn True Christmas Colors. da Red and green are the true Christ- ar mas colors, and there cannot be too sh much repetition of the3e hues at this or season. In addition to the holly, with its brilliant fruit and foliage, wj hnv hnv rpifnp and the other ever- I ta greens are combined with broad, fo holly red satin ribbons, streamers fe< and bows. These combinations ap- ne pear mosj frequently in wreaths and garlands. <jr ~ gr Pity it is, indeed, if in God's own m world of beauty and hope a soul can- . not fervently say, "I have kept God'a c law." 1 Oilu mxi mSwlb-tXiv.v now to - PREPABE^mm Picalilli. Take two large white cabbages, lopped fine, and six or eight onions Lopped fine. Mix together thorough, pack down in wide mouthed jar crock, and stir in a handful of .it, allowing it to remain thus for renty-four hours. To a quart of negar add a pound of sugar, and a .blespoonful each of allspice, musrd, pepper, mace, cinnamon and ilery seed. Put into a preserving sttle antl bring to a boll, then put the chopped cabbage and onion ixture and boll together five or ten inutes, let cool and pack in glass ,rs.?Indiana Farmer. Stuffed Mangoes. Select the largest peppers you can ocure, cut off the tops and remove ;eds. Cover with strongest salt " ~ J 1--1- "A /love ?!rafn ater anu ici dwuu v t. ^ id cover with cold water. The filling is made of minced cabige, two tablespoonfuls of grated )rseradish, two tablespoonfuls of inced onion, mace, nutmeg and gin;r, of each one-half teaspoon, and a ill teaspoonful of celery seed, ound mustard and brown sugar. :uff the pepper, tie on tops with ean white twine, pick in a crock id cover with boiling vinegar. Cov jars and pack away.?Indiana Farer. Pandowdy. Butter a baking kettie or some ind of an iron kettle and make a e crusf and put into it, leaving a nail place just at the bottom of the jttle without any crust. Then put some good apples, either quartered cored or sliced. Then lay in a few rips of the crust and some more apes, a good large cup of maple s/rE>, a few slices of salt pork, oneilf cup of cider vinegar. Cover the hole with pie crust and put a tight >ver on the kettle. ' Cook slowly >r three hours, being careful not i scorch it. Serve with sweet cream id maple sugar.?American Cookg Magazine. Farmhouse Apples. / Peel and core tart apples; fill the ntres with seeded raisins, chopped tron, a little lemon peel and sugar, lace them in a baking pan and pour rer them one-half cupful of water, ust the apples with silgar and bake > lem in a slow oven until tender; j >rinkle/bread crumb3 over the top, ' ast again with sugar and allow them j > remain in the oven ten minutes nger. ( Mix one tablespoonful of flour with ae-half cupful of sugar, add grad- | illy two cups of boiling water and >il for one minute. Take from the re and pour slowly over one well ; ;aten egg; add the juice of one-half ! mon and pour over the apples. 1 jrve hot.?American Cooking Magsine. , , i Scrapple. Scrapple is a most palatable dish id can be kept several weeks in cold eather. Take the head, heart; and ly lean scraps of perk, boil until ie flesh slips easily from the bones; :move vthe fat, gristle and bones, ien chop fine; set the liquor iD hich the meat wa3 boiled aside un1 cold, take the cake of fat from ie surface and return to the fire; hen it boils put in the chopped eat and season well with pepper id salt. Let it boil again, then Licken with corn tmeal as you would . making ordinary corn mush by let- , ng it slip through the fingers slow- j; to prevent lumps. Cook an hour, ! irring constantly at first, afterwards itting back on the range in a posir\r> trt hMl ?(S>ntlv. When done Dour . long square pan, not too deep, and j ould. Cut into slices when cold id fry brown as you do mush.? oston Post. mimwmmmm If you have daughters teach them knit and spin, and to keep tne .mlly accounts. Wet a towel in cold water, hang the open window. It will cool the r wonderfully. If you have a family and are not ;ry affluent, remember that a pin day is a groat a year. If you lend a man or woman a nail sum, be sure to ask for it here he or she forgets it. Five cents' worth of whiting kept a bathroom closet is a cheap and lick polisher of nickel fixings. In cutting bread for sandwiches if hot instead of cold kclfc is used the ices will he thinner and more easily it. Old shoes make good slippers, and ied not be denied the blacking ush because they are old indoor rvants. Do not put too much money in >ur children's pockets in going to hool. It is sowing the seeds of odigality. If oilcloth is given a coat of varsh twice a year it wears longer, i? ore easily kept clean and does not 3e the pattern. A paste of thick starch and water it on blood stains and allowed to and for a short time will remove em when not too old. A saucerful of limo placed in a ,mp closet will act as a disinfectant id absorb dampness. The lime ould be renewed ojee in two weeks as often as it slakes. Bathing the feet in cool, salted iter, then shaking a teaspoonful o: leum powder in each shoe, will lie und a great relief for hot. tired et, caused by too much standing cr iw shoes. Gather all the rose petals you can; , y in the sun, then add a little* 1 ound cinnamon, cloves and nuteg; stir well, then put in small eeso cloth bags and place in clos- J s. trunks or any place you wis'i. MONKEY MUTINEERS FOUGHT SHIP'S CREW. Chimpanzee Held Wong Foo Dangling by His Queue in the Fore Rigging. Six chimpanzees, part of a consignment of 600 members of the Simian tribe, were responsible for wounds and scars exhibited by the crew of the German steamship Tannenfels, which arrived recently from Calcutta and Colombo and docked at Pier 3, Bush Stores, South Brooklyn. The monkeys were consigned to a local animal dealer, but, at the earnest solicitation of Captain Lubke, were landed at Boston, where the vessel put in last week, and such as are wanted in this city will be shipped overland. "Himmel!" exclaimed Captain Lubke, "I want not such* beasts on my ship once more." Chief Engineer Newman nursed a badly lacerated wrist, which was gouged with a marlin spike wielded by a three-foot chimpanzee after the entire chimpanzee contingent had escaped from cages and attacked the Chinese cook. Wong Foo, the cook, who had suffered the painful indignity of being suspended in midair by his queue held by a chimpanzee, excitedly declared: t "Him no monkee; him bigdebbil!" The trouble was precipitated the night of April 13 in midocean and was due to the enmity of the six chimpanzees for Wong Foo because he spilled a can of hot soup on the big leader. ? , "It was about 7.30 o'clock, just after supper," said Engineer Newman, "when we heard a scream, followed by a flow of Chinese language. Crouched in the ratlines of the fore rigging was a chimpanzee tugging at the end of Wong Foo's queue. The cook was lifted ofT his feet and was swinging clear of the deck, kicking at the other five chimpanzees, which were attacking his legs. The crew rushed to the rescue; the chimpanzee iet go the Chinaman's pigtail and made aft toward the midship house. "Wong Foo ran for the fo'castle yelling like mad, chased by the five chimpanzees, which were followed in turn by the seamen. Joined by two of my firemen, Hubert Hansen and Hans Fels, we rushed for the big fellow, which had taken refuge in the bosun's locker. When we got inside we were suddenly attacked by the Infuriated animal, and in the semidarkness were completely at his mercy. "He had seized a marlin spike, and as I reached out to take it from him i T rrn f rH tr In thn ri t wrist. We I were all glad to give him a free, passage out. He dashed through the door and leaped Into the sea. "Meanwhiie the ship's crew captured the others. They had' escaped by tearing1 away a slat." ..... / A New Negro Empire Plan? That Theodore Roosevelt, while apparently in Africa on a hunting expedition, killing tigers ani fleas, i3 in, reality carefully investigating conditions to ascertain if it be not possible and practicable to. establish in the Soudan country a second empire of Liberia, and thereby solve forever the negro question of America, is the disclosure made by a United State3 federal attorney in charge of a Southern district, who relates the supposed secret plans of Roosevelt in all their details. The plan as revealed by the former President's confidant is to Gtake out a good section of the country in the Soudan, north of the Congo Free State and west of German and British East Africa; hoist up the QfoKo onri Hfn'non at the four corners. have Uncle Sam declare a protectorate, organize the native tribes into a suzerainty of the United States of America, and then will come the expatriation of the negroes from this country to the new empire in the heart of Africa. In the rounding out of the plan a wedge Will be formed by a nation under the control of the United States that will prevent the expansion territorially or commercially of Germany and will fnake the United States a factor in the balance of powder among the nations of Europe now struggling to retain and enlarge their footholds in Africa.? William Buckey, in Leslie's Weekly. The Academy of Silence. It is written that among the various ?f Annrtlon nhllnannhv f?xist:ed 5UUUUXS KJL Ul cuiau ? one known as "The Academy of Silence," composed of 100 men, each member pledged to the purpose of the school. To them came one seeking admission. Their list of membership was closed and their head, calling the would-be neophyte before the assembled audience, showed him without a word an urn so filled with water that not a single drop could be added. The neophyte, reading the message, bowed silently, started to withdraw, but hesitated and returned. Picking a petal from a flower, he dropped it on the brimming bcwl so dexterously that it floated without dislodging the i slightest particle of the liquid. The membership of the academy of silence became 101.?Hollis Godfrey, in the Atlantic. The Courtship Gate. We have been sh^wn a design for an upholstered front gate, which seems destined to become very popu- j !ar. The footboard is cushioned, and there i3 a warm soapstone on each , side, the inside being adjustable, so that a short girl can bring her lips to the line of any given moustache without trouble. If the gate is occupied at 10.30 p. m., an iron hand extends from one gate post, takas the young man by the left ear, turns him iround, and he is at once started toward home by a steel foot. The girl ( can, if she likes, set this! part at a later hour than 10.3 0.?Jones County (Ga.) News. Warned in Time. "Hi, Bill; don't come down tms , ladder; 'tisn't there."?Weekly Tele- ; graph. With the completion of the Benguella Railway, from the Zambesi to the Congo border, Rhodesia will have | ut service of 3500 miles of railroads. ] I A powerful radio-telegraphy plant has been contracted for by the Navy Department. This plant will be at j Washington, D. C., and will be guaranteed to transmit messages 3000 I miles across seas. T V itonAnfAil U'ro noo (i -LI/ lO i cpui It U. J. A UUvv VUMV is proposed to manufacture fuel from peat under a new patented process in the peaty district on the borders ot Bi the Charente Infericure and Deux Sevres Departments. A nut that rosists every attempt at getting loose usually becomes more docile after it has been heated for several minutes. This can be done with a torch or by holding a /piece oi hot iron against it for a little while. This will cause the . nut to fexpabd slightly and make it easier to come - off. , ' , It is reported that a series of wire-T less telegraph stations are to be installed in Siberia which will enable the War Department of Russia to keep in communication with the easternmost parts of the empire. These yc stations are to be largo enough tc operate over a radius of a thousand ca miles. In A substitute for gutta percha. ebonite, celluloid, amber and other insulators has been invented by Dr, of Bakeland, president of the American pa Electro-Chemical Society, from whom it takes the name "bakelite," It ie %y produced through the condensation of formaldfihvdfl and nhfmol. Tt is said to be an electric Insulator of the first rank, insoluble in all ordinay w! dissolvents, and not melting at high to temperatures. In chemical constitution it closely resembles Japanese lacquer, the composition of which has. always been more or less, of a mystery. The carbonic acid of the atmosphere offers problems that A. Krogh, a Danish physicist, believes to be of great importance. Twice as much of thi3 gas is found in the air of Greenland as Jn that of temperate regions^ and the excess seems to come from the deep sea, where it is storedoinder pressure, but the cause of this storage M and the exact place of origin nre un- j? known. The* proportion of carbonic acid on the air at Kew has varied in a series of five years from 2.43 to 3.60 parts in. 10,000. It is greater in yin- * ter than in summer, Ht high pressure, than when the barometer is low, and i is constantly changing. It is believed that its fluctuations at certain parts of the year may have a decided bearing upon agriculture. Greater knowl- an edge may not enable us to regulate an {he supply, but some day we may be able to foretell the autumn crops * simply from, our knowledge, of the proportion pf carbonic acid during some month or fortnight. 1 Westerners in the Battle of the na Wildefness. '? 1 ?????? 0 By GEN. MORRIS S CHAFF. AH the flags savo one captured from the enemy in the Wilderness were taken by Western regiments.' tn The Twenty-fourth Michigan captured the colors of the Forty-eighth Virginia, the Fifth Wisconsin those of the Twenty-fifth, the Twentieth Indiana those of the Fifty-fifth, the Seventh Indiana those of the Fiftieth Virginia, the Fifth Michigan thtyse of fin the Thirteenth North Carolina. The in* Eighth Ohio and the Fourteenth Indiana retook RIckett's guns. The men from the West were probably no inj braver, man for man, .than those of the East; but I think their success was wholly because oo many of the men were woods wise. From their youth up, both by day and night, they cai had roamed through woods under all ob sorts of sky and in all sorts of weather, and so their depths had no th) terror for them; and so, like their enemies, they were at home in the timber, and could make their way through it almost as well by night as by day. And I have often thought e that perhaps it was this common knowledge ofi the wocJds that gave tl our Western armies so many vie- 1:1 tories. A Confederate line coming gn on or rising up suddenly knd breaking into their sharp, -fierce yells, did not greatly surprise or set them quakine. And vet although all mv bov hood was passed in the grandly deep, primeval forests of Ohio, I am free vvb to own that I never heard .that "Rebel" yell in the woods of Virginia qu that its old fields behind us did not seem at once to becom6 mightily at- to tractive.?The Atlantic. yoi fas Insuring His Honesty. A shrewd old Vermont farmer came into a lawyer's office the other day and proceeded to relate the cir- pn cumstances in a matter about which usi he thought it would be profitable to "go to lav/." Mi "You think I hev got a good case?" ho finally asked. pn "Very good, indeed!" the lawyer ab( assured him. "You should certainly Ha bring suit." "What would your fee be for the whole thing?" the old farmer asked. 1 "Fifty dollars," was the prompt pa1 response. ad: The client pulled out an old wallet, ' extracted a roll of bills and counted sai out $50. . hlx "Now," he said, "you hev got all 1 you would get out of this case any- rei how; so s'pose you tell mo honestly ' just what you think my chances of yls winnin* a suit are?"?The Green Eag. 1 cai ixtrgro xjuigu. Senator Taylor, of Tennessee, tells of an old'negro whose worthless son was married secretly. The old man heard of it and asked the boy if he lar was married. "I ain't sayin' I ain't," the the boy replied. wil "Now. you Rastus," stormed the tio old man; "I ain't askin' .vou is you ' ain't; I is askin' you ain't you is!"? in Troy Times. . far - ev( A machine has been invented to brc svrap with wire a telephone or tele- ' ?raph pole to save it from gnawing mu horses^ Llf ' 'Ttow E^ier Thus. bought mjBelf an aeroplane; I had a dream of bliss. thought the lovely winged thing J\ khwt like up right , - i-.j Boar " . Would i it every time I started out. , -i'-M Though I had lots of spunk, le old thing balked, and kicked, and ' j broke, ' ' "?? And feU < . ?v . ' to * i earth plunk! -V ' ?Carolyn Wells, in Harper's Weekly. He Knew His Parents. i Teacher?"Now if your father ga^ >ur mother $3 .to-day and $10 toorrow, what would she have?" Small Eoy?"She'd have a fit."?? DSton Transcript. In Broken Tones. ' Mrs. X.? 'Does that new girl of >urs break many of your things?" Mrs. Y.?"Mercy, yes. .Why s&e ' n't attempt to sing without crack- , 5 UUA VUIUU. DUblUJl 1 I dUbUI ij[Jt. # Her Favorite School. First Fair Invalid?" Which ttrid" ; v||^| doctor do you prefer?the alloithlc or homeopathic?" Second Fair Invalid?"I prefer tho mpathetic."?Fliegende Blaetter.- j Not For Me. Shop Assistant (to purchaser of Idow's bonnetO?"Would you like try it on before tile glass, madam?" Customer?"No, thank yer, miss, ain't for me. I wish it was!"?* melon Opinion. Izl C%se of Emergcmy. ^ s ^^ OJd Gent?"But why are you begne with that thick stick?" Beggar?"Oh, that's only In case ybody should refuse to give me ything."?Fliegende Blaetter.> In the Ck>ming Days. "Good gracious! Where is this kvy shower coming from? The s^y, ' v'fij quite clear." "It's nothing. I'm just having my r rk syringed by balloon, that's all." Meggendorfer Blaetter. , The $oif. v"Oh,. George! I a in glad to see ; U.. Father is in such a rage.,. Do v\ ' . j- 'J c<Sfco calm him." "What's the row?" "I have just told him I wanted to irry you."?Bon Vivant. v Sky High. Howell?"Our servant kindled the e with kerosene the other mornPowell?"Did you reprimand her?" ^ Howell?"You bet she got a blow j op."?New York Press. A Recipe in Brief. Little three-year-old Alice stood itching her mother cooking pan- f} lies. After a few minutes' silent servatlon, she said: "Put on back, turn over on chest, , ?' ,'%i ?n eat."?New York Journal. '>. < \ Expects Nothing Else. "The public," remarked the bro- T r, "is always bullish, always inned to buy for a rise." "I s'pose," said the other man, hnf- It's hard for the DUbllc t? isp the idea that anything is^going < -',3 wn in price."?Louisville Courier- j'V'Js urnal. He Knen-. r' . Father (at head of stairs)?"Ethel, . lat time is it?" Ethel (in drawing room)?"It's a arter past 10, father." Father?"All right. Don't forget ' start the clock again after the ung man goes out to get his break- ^ it."?New York Journal. Mamma's Business. Little Minna was saying her syers. When she had finished her ual petitions, her mother said: "You have forgotten, dear,.'Make nua a good girl,' you know." "Oh, mother," she answered, re- l-j )achfully, "don't let's batter God jut that?that's your lookout."? rper's Magazine. Shades of Annie Laurie. The new minister was inspecting a tvky farmer's stock, and paused to mire a donkey. Fine donkey that, Mackenzie," d the minister. fcWhat dae ye ca' n?" " ' 'Maxwelton, meenister," was the >iy. * Wherefore that, mon?" cried the Itor. A "Because his brays are bonny," ne the answer.?London Daily ws. >-3 It Sounded Hopeful. A. young raan who was not particu- * i ly entertaining was monopolizing > attention of a pretty debutante :h a lot of uninteresting conversa Now, my brother," he remarked, the course of a dissertation on his nily, "is just the opposite of me in *ry respect. Do you know my; lther?" ' MM "No," the debutante replied detrely, ''but I should like to."?? >pincott's. ' . v.