The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, December 01, 1909, Image 7
Safe Robbers A
iDuring
the seven years from 1900
to 1906, inclusive, the safes in 11,587
fcpostoffices throughout the United
'States were blown or forced and consents
stolen.
:i This was an average of more than
four safes a day ia postoffices alone.
jl? the numerous burglaries In stores
and business houses in general were
!added to the list, it would represent
an alarming toll, an epidemic, as it
were.
It The figures suggest comparison of
fthe relative skill of the expert safe
[builder and the expert cracksman.
One wonders in pondering over the
(harvest cited whether the safe blower
jor the safe builder is the superior at
(the present time.
Lj.[The record of postoffice "breaks,"
t&s compiled by the Government authorities,
appears to be the best criticisms.
"Figures don't lie," says an
lold adage.
{ Men versed in the history and habits
of criminals agree that up to date
jthe safe blower has the better of the
argument; that he is still master of
Jthe situation, so far as the "tapping"
of safes go. The cracksman will tell
jyou so, too, with a grin that denotes
{absolute confidence in his art, and
biot a few manufacturers of safes priLvately
share his opinion, although
jsome point with pride to certain high
jgrade, specially equipped models or
[their art which they term impregnable.
I1 .The fact remains, however, that
* footings are being constantly registered
and that frequently among the
fheavy losers are banks whose treasures
boasted of the protection of the
rvery latest and most formidable types
jof safes that money could buy.
r The most recent example of this
pras the Pepperell bank robbery, when
a splendid specimen of the up-to-date
{portable safe was blown and more
jthan $16,000 in cash stolen. Reiports
that vaults have been broken
into are invariable erroneous. Larcenies
hav.2 been committed in vaults,
but not by means of explosives.
Oacksmen don't waste time in attempting
to blow such security
Gibralters but they have on rare occasions
gone into them in the guise
Of sneak thieves.
Burglars who crack safes are men
of brains, and they proceed with cauttion.
Their methods are scientific,
frhe major part of their work is realty
disposed of before they resort to
.-drill and explosives. For weeks and
OUVUkUO HiCJ OLUU; lU^ii glUUUU, vuv
sapproaches of marked quarters, the
jihabits of said establishments, and
jeven send observing agents in to talk
Kith officials of banks to get a close
y of the surroundings and the inferior
construction of safes and combinations,
too, if possible. A swift
(glance is sufficient for the "spotter."
Bummer is devoted to this study of
[the various "zones" which radiate for
ione hundred miles around great
Icities, where the culprits are always
swallowed up until they have spent
jfche 'swag," the term they apply to
>the cash or valuables which their opaerations
yield. Winter, with its
(storms and long nights, is set apart
Ifor the active work.
j Many cases are on record where
iBnrglars have compelled bank at,
reaches to open safes or vaults at the
jpoint of pistols, but the introduction
Jof complicated time locks has disposed
of this phase of bank burglary
(and has added another strong projection
to the now invulnerable safety
[vault.
i It aDnears. however, that the com
ifoined efforts of inventors, expert engineers
and skilled mechanics in fashdoning
steel into secret combinations
of locks and bars and wonderfully
{constructed strong boxes of all sizes,
iweights, and grades have been only
ipartly successful in reducing the number
of burglaries, and have by no
means defeated the professional
cracksman or broken his nerve. Statistics
show that there was an increase
of 221 postoffice burglaries in
il90f> over the previous year, and,
While the other years show slight fluctuations,
the tendency has been to
jmultiply.
I It has been a sharp conflict of intellect
for decades between the burglar
and the man who makes safes?
a mental warfare which has brought
the safe and the vault to a high plane
of perfection, but the manufacturer
jhasn't yet fully solved the problem
(that inspired his trade, so far as the
pnerchantable safe goes.
J The safe-maker has, however, thoroughly
conquered the burglar in his
tfnnstr notion of vn 11 It's T-Tp lias heon
jable to accomplish this by reason of
fthe far wider latitude enjoyed in the
shape of almost unlimited expenditure
and the adding of masonry which
defy both burglars and fire.
Vaults vary in price according to
Jfheir size and the quantity and qualify
of their reinforcements. Their
)cost frequently amounts to $300,000.
!A. contract for one which will cost
{5250 ,000 was recently awarded by a
[Boston bank.
The 11.5S7 postoffice safes broken
/Into during the period of seven years
mentioned represented many thousands
of dollars in cash and stamps
iand every make of safe. Yeggmen
ihave for years made a specialty of
looting postoffices, and still devote the
imajor part of their operations to thia
Qine of plunder, so that it has become
Ian evil the full import of which is
recognized by the Government.
' The figures quoted above were furnished
by W. J. Vickery, chief inspector
o? the Postoffice Department in
iWashington, in a letter to a Bostoa
safe expert, which read in part as follows
:
"Receipt is acknowledged of your
.Communication dated June 13, 1907,
requesting to-be advised of the num
;Oer 01 posiomces emereu uy uurgiars
3n the United States during the years
/1900 to 1906, inclusive. The following
isgfea statement of the postoffice
jbuf$laries in the United States during
this period: In 1900, 1587; 1901,
il 6 3 5; 1902, 1746; 1903, 1G43; 1904,
b.593; 1903, 1581; 1906, 1S02."
i Postmasters in charge of postoffices
;np to a certain class are expected to
iurnish safes at their own expense,
and naturally they try to get them on
,the most liberal terms possible.
jWhen postofilces are robbed the postttsster
or his bondsruen have to make
head of Makers.
good the amount taken. The Government,
therefore, doesn't lose anything.
but the PostoiTice Department
is anxious to put a stop to su?h
wholesale depredations.
The economy practiced by postmasters
in purchasing safes is stock in
trade for the burglar. As a result
the roving criminals who understand
the use of dynamite and nitroglycerine
encounter few real problems in
the safe line in rural districts and
small communities.
The absence />r scarcity of burglarproof
safes in certain localities is
further enhanced by inadequate police
protection. Consequently the expert
cracksman breaks into some of
the metal frames without fear of detection
while at work or of capture
in flight, and with almost as much
ease as he would force open a door
or window with a "jimmy."
Safe-blowing has become such a
science that operators are willing to
take chances if they are assured of a
haul of $7, feeling that a night hasn't
been wasted if it yields even so small
a figure. The establishment of so
low a minimum is an index to the
multiplicity of their crimes and of
their daring and confidence.
In their ranks are expert engineers
and mechanics, and men of natural
genius if they applied their talents
lawfully. They are as familiar with
the mechanism of all brands of safes
as are the makers. They know by the
size or pattern or by skilful soundings
whether a safe has a single or double
door, or whether it is burglar-proof,
which means that an extra case of selected
steel is installed inside to guard
against explosions, and they can at a
glance detect the slightest defect.
Many have the impression that the
walls of a safe are solid metal all the
wav throneh. This is not so. There
is an outer and inner shell of panelled
steel which never exceeds oneeighth
of an inch in thickness and is
almost invariably le3s than that. The
gap between these two shells is filled
svith concrete or other patented compositions.
Burglars frequently knock away
the combination knobs to get a start
for boring through the door, but the
most common method is to drill a
hole through the top of the safe far
back enough to get behind both doors,
if there happens to be an inner one,
so that the explosives will fall into
the body of the safe among the contents.
Dynamite or gunpowder is
dropped in and touched off with a
fuse. When nitroglycerine is used
the cracks around the outer door are
carefully sealed up with soap to prevent
the liquid from leaking out, and
a fulminating cap is attached and
fired with a twenty-five cent battery.
In Lynn recently burglars used a
cheese to blow a safe in a grocery
store. That night the gang found a
lemon in one safe, which they had
hard work opening, but in an adjoining
store got $1800 in cash. This
illustrates the uncertainty of their
work on "small jobs." In postoffice
work, the safes are invariably blown.
Bank jobs sometimes take more time,
so that the burglars wait for holidays
or Sundays to add to a night between.
While drilling and blowing are the
most popular and swiftest methods of
late, burglars have* been known to
take the more arduous method of
"stripping," which means that they
remove plate after plate until the interior
of a safe is reached.
Another simple method is to bore
with electricity by fusing the steel
walls with an electric arc. The equipment
consists of an ordinary stick of
carbon attached to an insulated
wooden handle, a resisting coil and
a cold chisel for punching off the inside
mechanism after the hole is
ournea. r-oia xne ugaiing ana trolley
service have aided cracksmen in
this -work by attaching their implement
to feed wires. A current of 100
or 200 amperes at fifty volts does the
trick. Holes large enough to permit
a man to remove the contents with his
hand have been burned through the
metal walls with electricity.
In blowing, the result is always
about the same. The gases rip open
or blow off the door, sometimes sending
them across an apartment, shattering
glass and furniture and causing
general havoc. The burglars then
jump In and grab the cash box and
all other things of value within reach
and vanish. With a keen bit it.
doesn't take more than live or ten
minutes to bore through casings of a
safe and fill the interior with an explosive.
Tlie maurauders have made
good their escape before the postmaster,
even if he happens to live directly
over the office, or any one else has
time 10 appear on me scene.
It is estimated that the men who
robbed the Pepperell bank so successfully
did all their work inside of fifteen
minutes. As is frequently the
case they were seen, but not in season
to be caught. They vanished in
a speedy automobile, a style of vehicle
much used by professionals of
the present day, and one which insures
the success of their mission of
crime. Since the advent of the automobile
in the burglary equipment the
chances of capture have been greatly
minimized. The culprits have also
learned in their defiance to look at
the possibility cf a prison term
through the large end of an opera
glass.
Safe blowers constitute the most
desperate type of criminals. They
are of the class known to the police
as yeggs, men c*" nerve and of checkered
experience, many of them ex-convicts
with a string of reckless exploits
to their credit, who, when cornered,
do not hesitate to kill.
All manner of precautions have
been taken to discourage their illicit
calling. The Postoffice Department
ui nit; uiuieu oiiiies iicis taucu ytuticular
pains without avail. Their
depredations really hit postofficej
harder than any other clas:; of establishments.
Many rural postoffices
have been robbed several times.
The first safes were made in Ensland
more than 100 years ago. They
were fashioned of wood, planks being
used for the case, with metal
trimmings. Later the wooden frame
was covered with sheet-iron, and they
had tremendous knobs, which were
of little use other than to make them
more formidable in abearance.
Then r.aino the substitution of
sheet-iron for wood, and the double
casings with fillings between to give
greater thickness. A Chelsea manufacturer
named Wilder years ago conceived
the idea of filling the space between
the inner and outer shell of
the walls with plaster of paris, but
/-?? Tain fnrPAmont f Sinpd C
IJU1D iUl III VI xviniiwi
an acid which devoured the metal, i
Finally cement was used, and is to- *
day, with other patent fillings. i
Each manufacturer has his individ- *
ual secrets and patents in material, c
locks, bars and fillings. The evolu- J c
tion of the safe has been marked. To- j *
day they range in size and price from a
the tiny home safe worth $18 to the u
burglar and fireproof creations weigh- s
ing six or seven tons, and costing any- '
where from $250 to $5000, accord- e
ing to the type and equipment. Special
makes come higher.
A Boston firm recently got $20,000
for building a mammoth door for a
vault. This door was seventeen inches
thick and embodied a baffling network
of bars and locks. The construction
of vaults is a kindred branch of the
work, only the fittings are more extensive
and elaborate and firmly entrenched
against the ravages of burglars
and fire by impenetrable walls
and masonry.
There are two styles of safe, the
ones filled with solid cement, which is
put into the casing wet, and those
filled with loose plaster and dry cement
shovelled in. The aim is to
have the filling retain a certain degree
of moisture, so that in the event of
fire the heated exterior will create
a steaai which will cool off the inner
casing of metal and thus, protect the
contents.
Lumps of alum or other salts or
crystals have been added to fillings in
order to provide the necessary moisture.
Thin metallic tubes filled with
water have also been imbedded in
fillings so as to create steam, and yet
in searching for the required moisture
great care must be exercised to
avoid a filling which will be too flabby
to furnish the rigidity required to
prevent the safe from breaking if it v
falls. s
Fillings are also made of patented b
so-called indestructible, non-conduct- g
ing compounds. Excessive dampness a
would corrode the metal and injure t
the safe. It can be observed, there- a
fore, that the filling of safes has been c
an absorbing feature in the trend of p
steady improvement which has char- t
acterized the making of safes and c
vaults In the United States.?Boston t
Herald. - 8
I TS'jfTlVGlS |
jjjjWORTH KgOWlNCjl
Hy is the name of a town in Oregon
County, Missouri. It can be
frmnrJ nn the* r>ffir>ia7 railroad man of
tills State, but Uncle Sam does not
recognize it in his postal guide. He
did once, but the postoffice at Hy
was discontinued on account of the
rural free delivery of mail, i
The dwellers in arctic regions use
the Iceland moss extensively as food.
A bread is made from it after carefully
washing out two bitter organic
acids which it contains.
For many years the observatory of
the Vatican has been divided, a portion
being on the Vatican hill, some
little distance from the square of St.
Peter's, but by a recent rearrangement
the entire establishment will be
moved to the top of the hill.
The researches of Professor Flinders
Petrie at Memphis have resulted
in the unearthing of the palace of
King Apries, the Pharaoh Hophra of
the Scriptures and a contemporary of
Jeremiah. Armor and bronze figures
of gods were found in the ruins.
In view of the importance of the
commerce in ostrich feathers, ViceConsul
H. M. Byington, of Naples,
states that Italians are being urged
to start ostrich farms in southern
Italy, Sicily and Sardinia. The successful
results obtained in California
and at Nice are cited.
jonn saimon, a lanKee in ijeyion,
has got rich by detecting pearls in
oysters by X-ray. The best part is it
detects seed pearls, and such oysters *
are put into special plants to de- 1
velop. J
(
The Welcome Research College of
Egypt has a floating laboratory on ^
the Nile and all its tributaries.
f
Farms are now to be found in many a
States which have been systemati- T
cally cleared of cattle tuberculosis by 1
persistent testing and retesting, ac- ^
companied by thorough isolation, re- 1
moval, ox' destruction of reacting an- T
imals. . t
c
United States land areas still utiappropriated
and unreserved in 1908
? . . , f
were 7 54,S95,0U0 acres, or wmcn 1
368,022,000 acres were in Alaska, '
61,177.000 in Nevada, 46,532,000 in *
Montana, 44,778,000 in New Mexico *
and 42,769,000 in Arizona. f
}
Leprosy is a singularly undemon- v
strative disease. Out of hundreds
only a fe^v have a startling, not to
say horrible, appearance. It is very
mildly contagious, and nurses and ( ,
attendants have spent ten, twenty, I ?
fifty years in leper colonies without
catching it. a
One of thejeading railroads of the .
eastern part of the United States has ^
recently adopted reinforced concrete ^
gin poles for use in heavy erection a
work. For instance, such a pole was '
used recently in the placing of four
35-ton 109-foot girders used in builSing
a bridge near Philadelphia.
A gentleman of Portrush sent Lord C
Roberts an old horseshoe when things n
looked ill in South Africa. Grateful- o
ly acknowledging it, the General ad- a
ded that he would keep this horse- t
shoe in company "with one picked t
up the day I entered the Orange Free
State, and another I found at Paardeburg
the day before General Cronj'j
surrendered."
c
The torpedo leaves the gun at a c
rate of forty knots an hour. , ' I
f
New York City.?Variations of tho
;uirass waist are so many as to be alnost
without number. It is just as
veil adapted to remodeling as it is to
lew material, and it can be made perectly
simple, it can be embroidered
>r braided, it can be cut and worn
iver a chemisette, and it can be made
n the length illustrated, or shorter
.s liked. This one is adapted to all
ises and can be made with a pleated
kirt to match or with one of conrasting
material attached to its lower
dge, or can be worn over the skirt,
/hick Is pleated and joined to a
moothly fitted yoke. Jersey cloth iff
eing much used for the purpose, but
oft finished moire and broadcloth
.re exceedingly smart for waists of
he kind, cashmere will be much worn
nd indeed every seasonable material
an be utilized. The waist made of
tlain black with a flounce of shepterd's
check, or some similar fancy
oaterial, would be smart and novel;
he waist of Jersey cloth with skirt of
ilk or wool in matching color would
aake a handsome gown, and tli^waisti
inished separately and made from
fersey cloth, moire, broadcloth, serge
>r other material, will be found an
exceedingly serviceable and practical
jarment. .
The waist is made with front, sideronts,
backs, side-backs and underirm
gores. The sleeves are of the
ilain close fitting two-piece sort and
he stock collar finishes the neck.
The neck can be cut out on any of
he indicating lines and the waist
vorn with a chemisette or yoke of
hin material, and it can be cut off on
ither perforated line if shorter length
s more becoming.
The quantity of material required
or the medium size is four yards
wenty-four or twenty-seven inches
vide, two and three-quarter yards
liirty-two, two and an eighth yards
orty-four, or one and three-quarter
ards sixty-four or seventy-two inches
nde.
Gray Over White.
A lovely voile gown in the palest
hade of gray over white silk is
rimmed with white crocheted silk
uttons and bands of Indian embroidry,
in delicate shades of mauve
reen, pink, red and black, all beautiully
blended together. These bands
f embroidery, which form the waistand
and collar, are bordered on eithr
side with narrow lines of black
elvet.
About Buttons.
Smoked pearl buttons are again i
nnd 1mvp liofm slinwn nil
number of one-piece dresses made
f different winter materials. This is '
convenient fashion, and will relieve
lie home dressmaker who cannot find
lie button to match the frock.
Artificial Flowers Worn.
Artificial (lowers are as much worn
in the corsage as ever, the roses made
if satin being as favored for this pur
>ose as they are for trimming Iiats. |
Sleeveless Coat Yields.
The sleeveless coat yields but reluctantly
to the mandate of the
season.
Black Sable Trimmings.
Trimmings of sable blackness are
again to figure conspicuously on nearly
everything.
Tailored Slippers.
Some designs in bedroom slippers
are quite trim and neat as well as
comfortable; these are styled "tailored"
slippers.
I
f ?
Decorated Waists.
Just as waists were decorated with
Irish motifs made of cotton thread so
now those of net and silk are decorated
with motifs made in the same
way, only of metal threads.
Country-House Frocks.
It never looks well to wear a smart
but not quite fresh afternoon dress at
a country-house dinner, for it har. a
Anf_Af_n1o/?a lortlr Tt
ueui aggicu auu uut-wi-i/iuw ?wM.
is far better to have a fresh wfclte
muslin frock of the cheapest description
than the most expensive silk
which has been soiled by town use.
Correct Veils.
Taupe is the leading shade in plain
mesh veils, and those made of a Wiry
thread in the large, hexagonal style,
are unusually becoming to the complexion.
Another mesh veil, of finer
weave, is covered with flat velvety
pastilles, square in shape and scattered
over the surface at close Intervals.
;
Blouses of Eyelet.
The world has grown quite weary
of net blouses. It has seen too many
of them In the past year. The material
that has been substituted is fine
eyelet embroidery. This is found in
colors as well as white and ecru. It
is often dyed to match the suit, although
the guimpe is now the preferred
thing, as the one-piece frock ia
more and more in fashion.
Six-Gored Skirt.
The demand of the present seasot
seems to be for skirts that are pleated
in one way or another, but there it
nothing like sameness, nevertheless,
and this one is graceful and novel
without being of excessive width. It
is trimmed effectively with straps and
can be used separately, or with bodice
to match or as part of a coat suit.
" " * -a 1
'me lines are an ioug auu gi^eiui,
and the skirt 13 singularly effective,
yet absolutely simple.
The skirt is cut in six gores. There
are extensions below the trimming
straps which are laid in pleats and
pressed flat, and the straps conceal
the seams above. The closing is made
invisibly at the left of the back.
The quantity of material required
Tor the medium size is eleven and a
half yards twenty-four or twentyseven,
five and a quarter yprds fortyfour
or four and a half yards fiftytwo
inches wide when material has
figure or nap; nine yards twenty-rour
or twenty-seven, four and a half yards
forty-four' or fifty-two inches wide
when material has neither figure nor
nap.
Roquefort Cheese
Methods of Transforming Sheep's
Milk Into an Export Product
The care necessary to secure a good
product is astonishing to those who
have never been to Roquefort to visit
the various factories. This industry
consumes annually about 92,459 gallons
of sheep's milk, from which ia
produced about 3797 metric tons-of
cheese (metric ton equals 2204/6
pounds). This amount is handled in
some 360 dairies in the Aveyron and
adjoining departments ^nd the herds
of sheep from which the supply ia
obtained are estimated at 600,000.
The milk must be pure unskimmed
sheep's milk unadulterated with
water or with any other milk. Inspectors
are employed and instruments
used to detect fraud. The
green hills of the Aveyron, which furnish
fine pastures for feeding the
sheep, play no small part in the quality
of the milk and the celebrity of
Roquefort cheese.
An average of 100 liters (one liter
equals 1.0567 quarts) of sheep's milk
will produce about twenty-four kilos j
(kilo equals 2.2 pounds) of fresh
cheese, whereas in the departments
of the Rhone, the Puy-de-Dome, and
the Cantal it requires 100 liters of
cow's milk to make fifteen kilo3 of
imitation Roquefort cheese. These
imitations comprise the Forme de
Cantal, Bleu d'Auvergne, Bleu de
"A ? CMMII *1* /> fsn/N Vf\/1 A
urt;x, tJLU. nuqueiuiL tuccsc uao a
more delicate taste and rich butter
color, while the imitations have a
bitter taste, soon become a deep yellow
after cutting, and when exposed
to heat turn nearly black. Roquefort
cheese can be exported to torrid
countries, while it is said that cheese
manufactured partly with cow's milk
could not withstand the transportation
and the temperature.
The dairies are in dry and airy
spots, and the whitewashed walls,
cemented floors and screened windows
all conduce to cleanliness. The
dairy consists of three rooms, in the
second of which a temperature of
sixty-tLree degrees Fahrenheit is recorded
by the thermometer the year
round. The milk is first heated to a
temperature of over ninety degrees
Fahrenheit and curdled by the addition
of rennet. The curds pass
through various processes of draining,
salting, moulding, etc., but to state
1 this generally gives only a slight idea
of the time and care necessary. From
start to shipment it requires fifty to
sixty days to turn out a satisfactory
product. The various operations
might be briefly stated as follows:
(1) Treatment of the milk?skimming,
heating, curdling, dividing the
curds, draining, putting into moulds
and scattering with powder of stale
hreari nrnmhh. tastinc:. hardenlne:*
(2) treatment of cheese at factory?
receiving and weighing, first and sec- I
o'nd salting, brushing, piercing and
classifying, placing in caves, first
turning, maturing in cave^ second
turning, second classifying* maturing
continued, third and last turning
before expedition.
The preparation of the bread Is a
long and interesting part of the
process. A special kind of bread is
moistened and left to mould in a cave
for about two months. It is then cut
into sinall pieces, dried, ground and
bolted. The powder thus obtained is
scattered over the layers of curds as
they are placed in the moulds. This
makes the bluish green streaks in the
cheese and helps to give Roquefort
its aroma. \
The caves perform an important
part of the fabrication of this cheese.
It is largely by maturing and mellowing
in them that Roquefort cheese is
celebrated throughout the world for
its delicate flavor and peculiar aroma.
These caves are excavations, some
natural and some artificial, hollowed
out in the side of the steep and rocky,
mountain which dominates the little
village clinging to its side. Tney are
cold and damp, but ventilated by the
air which penetrates through the fissures
v in the stratified rocks. Some
caves are very large, measuring fiftyseven
meters long by nine meters
wide and fourteen meters high.
There are several stories in each cave
containing shelves oa which the
cheese is placed.
These stories communicate by
means of stairways and elevators for
carrying the merchandise. One i^
impressed by the strange and mournful
silence with which the workers
or cabanieres underground carry on
their operations. They seem to miss
the air and sunlight, the noises of the
outside world, and even speak in low ,
tones. They wear a peculiar costume,
consisting of a blouse, a short skirt
reaching to the knees, woolen stockings
and usually the sabots or wooden
shoes so common among the peasants
of France.
After the cheese mellows or ripens
for about for.ty-five days In the cave
it is ready for shipment or to be
placed in the refrigerating rooms,
which are cooled by an ammoniai*
process operated by electric machinery.
All Roquefort cheese destined
for export is selected with the greatoaf
no ro Tha /trttinfrioa 1
VWW %?%*?>* A UV VV/UUbi lUijiUl nug
the largest quantities of Roquefort
cheese are the United States, Germany,
Denmark, Sweden, Norway and
Canada, which purchase more than
$2,000,000 worth annually. The
United States is one of the best customers,
the exportations thither in
1908 having reached $404,51S.
No less than 1500 persons are employed
in the Roquefort factories.?
From Daily Consular and Trade Reports.
Impelled by Politeness.
The man, whose sense of politeness
was not entirely calloused, looked i
up from his seat in the crowded car i
ac ine siuui iaay wao swayea in ironr
! of him. Finally he struggled to hia '
feet and offered her the place.
The stout lady hesitated.
"Before I take your seat." she said, !
"I want you to assure me that >011 are I
yielding it in a cheerful frame of J
mind."
"I really can't do that, ma'am," the j
man hastily answered. "I am offer- j
ing you the place merely because I
am polite."
And with a sigh of relief he slipped
back into the seat.?Cleveland Plain
Dealer. '
UNDER THE YOKE.
t cannot wear my old clothes
I wore last spring, alack!
Because my waistband now has crepfc
Quite halfway up my back!
'And as for sleeves, more dolorous
Than ever is my song? v
.Whereas they have been full and shorty,
To-day they're small and long. iy
E'en one's anatomy is not Exempt
from sudden change! 1
tnlrp nn HpaVi or fast it on : \ V
In manner passing strange! , '
Danie Fashion says, "Yon must be fat*
Or svelte, or quaintly lean;
More Botticelli-like"?and lo!
No other type is seen!
Oh. Mother Eve, why did not you
Withstand. the serpent's wiles?
Then we, your daughters, had not known:
This curse of varying styles.
?Philadelphia Ledger.
"Is Miss Passay kill unmarried?**. \
"Yes. She says it's from choice."
"Whose?"?Cleveland Plain Dealer. '
"He is due to learn sometime thai
he cannot always have his own way." ,
"Why, is he engaged?" ? Houston! W
Post. " * | W1
"I attended an up-to-date wedding . v
yesterday." "Tell me about.it.";
"The bride's former husbands acted
as ushers." ? Birmingham Age-Her- , .i:
aid. y.': '
Miss Bronx?' Jaw is a nice hoy,
but I can't marry him. I wish, he
would forget all about me." '-Mr.,
Harlem?"Just lend him some money
and he will."?Judge.
Oh. say, you cassowary
On the plains of Timbuctoo, K ,
If you hear Roosevelt coming "
It's high time to skiddoo.
Mrs. Flatdweller?"Just think of 4 ^
it! Some miscreant tried to start a
fire In our apartment housev.iast;
night." Mr. Flatdweller?"Well* I'll' ?
bet it wasn't the janitor."?Philadelphia
Record.
Voice from within the taxlicab^
"Shay, choofer, how much do p-owe
ye?" "Seven dollars and fifty cents, > ^
sir." "Well, shay, back up 'tiJI ye
come to thirty cents. That's all I
got."?Life.
"Logic," remarked the visionary in- : ,
dividual, "either proves or disproves ' ^
all things." "Yes," rejoined the . iV
practical person, "but it doesn't ac- '
c.omplish any ot them." ? Chicago
Daily News.
High blower (to prospective butler);
?"Seventy-five dollars a month.;
Why, that's all I pay my bookkeeper/*^
Butler?"Rut he doesn't have,to associate
every day with yourf aa&ily.
sir."?Puck.
1 First Golfer?"Well done, oldchap!!
That's the longest ball I've seen you?
drive yet!" Second <j.?"I'm afraid'
the credit's not all mine. A beait of
a wasp touched mo up in the mi^dlfr
of my swing."?Punch.
"Our family is awXully exclusive,**;
ionlil nno Uttlo iHrl to another who hatt . f t.
just moved into the ad joining flat"Is
yours?" < "Oh, no," replied the
other. "We haven't anything to be
ashamed of."?Chicago Dally News.
"Do you consider plagiarism per- i
missible under any circumstances?'*
"Well," answered Senator Sorghum,
"it's pretty hard when you find yourself
compelled to make a choice be- :
tween being interesting or original." ; '
?Washington Star. .? ' ;
We meet all kinds of people t
Aa through life we go along;
Some are right occasionally,
' And some are always wrong.
Credit Man ?- "Do you ^consider
Hobson a careful financial manager?"
Reporter ? "Most assuredly. Why,.
since the Remsen Board decided, that
benzoate of soda was a harmless preservative,
he insists on putting some
in his pocSetbook every morning."?? l"Puck.
"But," the patient oomplained, *
"your advertisement said 'no cure, no
Dav.'" "I shall cure you," the doc
tor replied, "if you will only be patient
and give me time." "Very well.
I will pay you if you will be patient
and give me time. When shall I call
again?"?Chicago Record-Herald- -t
??????? ,
A Use For Vacant Lots.
, The annual report of the first y. . J-rf.
year's work of-the Chicago Gardens
Association is,such as to encourage
any who have despaired of practical'
ways by which to aid the needy and!
to hearten the association itself to re-'
newed effort for the future. Briefly,;
upon a tract of land lent to it the
association during the last summed
has given garden space to 100 families,
and each of these families has
at an expense to the association of $6,
made a profit of $30, besides, in most
cases, getting vegetables enough to ;
support itself during the season.
Many of these gardeners knew nothing
about the work, but by means of
a little instruction and the example;
of their neighbors they got success
fully througn tne summer, ana in no
case was there a failure of crops.
But the remarkable percentage of
profit from the investment was not
all that was gained. In many instances
health came to sickly workers
and to all there came a spirit of independence
hot before possessed.?Chicago
Tribune. i ^
Hard Lucfc. /
"People can talk of their troubles,"
said Mrs. Wagleigh, "but I think
Mrs. Jones has the hardest luck of
any one. She is absolutely deprived'
by nature of enjoying a woman's
greatest pleasure. She's a deaf-mute
and can't talk. She can only use her
hands. Now, if that isn't awful, tell
me what is?"
Mr. Wagleigh looked up from his
evening paper. "I met her husband
this afternoon," he said, "and he was'
tickled to pieces. His wife cut her
fingers with the bread knife yesterday,
and now she can't talk at all."?
New York Times.
Counting Strokes.
This reporter went into a barber
shop this morning to be shaved. The
barber said: '"Ever know that in
shaving a man a barber uses 540'
strokes?" Then we kept count, and
the number of strokes of the razor in!
shaving once over was 1S5. But thej
barber said we should have counted!
the strokes in lathering, the strokes!
in annlvine the stinging stuff where
ho had cut a wart, and the strokes iuj
aplying powder, bay rum, etc.?Atchison
Globe.
k