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f A Bit of Strategy, j j o i a i? 5 By Margaret L Donnellan. 11 j o Ned was certainly stretching the J f truth, not that I blamed him much, ! e for it was a big temptation to hear! j (, Bertha say, "Oh, Mr. Barnes; really!" | c and gaze at him with those big brown j t, eyes of hers. Bertha is pretty, though ; g for my part I like Dora's style bet- , a ter; but Ned never could understand ! j. why. Dora 1c his cousin. j ^ "You remember the apples, Tom," j [ he said, looking at me over his shoul- j s der. j a "You bet I do," I answered. | p Indeed I remembered them; I think j u that it was the Jamaica ginger which j, saved us, but to my astonishment I j 3 heard him telling Bertha of the fine ! a pies he made from them, "just like | a mother used to make." And then he ! ^ rambled on with little anecdotes of ! j, his fine cooking in camp last summer. J c Dora looked at him, and there was j a a funny droop to the corners of her 1 a mouth, but she didn't say anything j r and I kept quiet. 0 The next morning the cook was ! n suddenly called away to see her sick j c mother, and as she was in "Lhe middle j ^ of pie-making, and Dora and Bertha | ^ were going out, I believe Dora put it j j into Bertha'B mind to ask Ned to 1 t finish the pies. After all his blowing , Q ? * AVa " t * 1* V? r\ Vio/1 f A C01/ VI Clio UlgUl UCIU1C, uc uau w j "Yes." Anyway, he couldn't refuse ( Bertha when she looked at him wLth those dreamy eyes. The result was; when the girls drove off, we faced a | hot kitchen and some half-finished I *" pastry. "Just like mother used to make," ! S said I meditatively. Ned gave me a withering look, j b "Well, you are Job's comforter," he j said. | e "Seems to me you're getting just : what's coming to you after all those ! fairy tales," said I. 13 Ned looked pained. "Do you mean j to infer?" : s "Yes, I do. Own up to it now?* ! you know just about as much of pie- n making as I do, and that's nothing." j "Is that so?" said Ned airily; "well, _ I'll show you." He mixed flour and lard and finally ' . <rn? If yen ^ V tr> ml] nut 'R'nTlTIV thine. ! b"" iV-uj VV .W.. cr every time he got it rolled out, it snapped back; sort of elastic, it was. * I saw he was stuck, and he gazed around for something to help. The t clothes wringer was standing in a cor- J ner of the back kitchen. 1, "I have it," said he, and he cut off a chunk of dough and fed it through. ! ^ It came out fine and thin, and I held J the pie plate while he spread it on. Then he put in the apples and laid another piece on top, trimming it off E and put it in the oven. c I had my doubts about using the wringer?it didn't seem right?but <3 Ned said what they didn't know J I wouldn't hurt them. He started the second pie when I i E * mentioned how my sister always put f butter on the pans before she poured J out her fudse. "to keep it from stick- | _ ing," she said. "If you know so much, why don't said Ned, and he yanked out the pie. said Ned, and he yanked out the uie. y He pried up the dough with a knife, e while I poured some butter in; but it was a sort of rough when we fin- s ished. o He had just pushed the second pie j in when I tasted one of the apples. 1 c Say, they were sour, and we took the j t pies out and poured sugar through j c the holes in the top. Ned said it would all assimilate. ! ^ He wasn't quite so airy now. It ! v didn't do the pies good to be pock- j ing at them. j j They were ali cooked when the ; girls got back. We put them on the j pantry window ledge to cool. They j t looked rather humpy where the pieces i * of apple stuck up, but they smelled ! ^ good enough. Somehow though I c seemed to ha^e lost my appetite for : apple pie. Ned told me to keep the girls away j from the kitchen for a while. He s was getting nervous about the pies; p they weren't what you would call a howling success. I played croquet " with them, but Bertha kept inquiring o where Ned was. At last he came and he looked a lot more cheerful. First I thing he began to tell about the pies J and make them out so good that I be- I gan to get worried; I had seen the t pies. s He joined in the game, but con- I tantly watched the pantry window a ledge, suddenly ne dropped nis mai- n let, yelled and started on a run. Two fierce looking tramps were rushing t away with the pies. They were run- o ning toward Glen Ridge woods and Ned flew after them. . "5 Poor Bertha turned white. "Oh, s he'll be billed!" she wailed. "Mr. y "Barnes, Mr. Barnes, come back." He came back reluctantly and Ber-1 a tha did everything but fall on his p neck. Talk about your conquering heroes. And those pies; to hear Ned i( talk about them the rest of the day, ? honest I was ashamed. ^ Dora was suspicious, though she didn't say much, but she looked a whole lot. She had tried to call Ned's bluff and got the worst of it. You have to get up pretty early to get 1 ahead of Ned, at least I thought so, but I didn't know Dora's resources. _ The next day she came in with the i Glenville Weekly Clarion. "Quite a tragedy," she said as 3he pointed out a piece to Ned. I looked over his shoulder and read: "Tragedy at Glen Ridge! Just as we go to press we are informed through our special correspondent that two tramps have been found in Glen Ridge woods, side by side, un- , conscious. Beside them were two ! 1 half eaten apple pies. Further par- , ticulars in our next issue." Ned gave her a queer look from the corners of his eyes, but he never men- ^ tioned pies again while Dora was , around.?Boston Post. See a Good Game. ^ "Willie," said the boss to the jun- 1 ior office boy, "my aunt died last ' night, and as I shall be absent the rest of tht! day I'll leave you to look after things." ] "All right, sir," rejoined the youth- s ful student of human nature. "And I j j hope you see a good game."?Phila- j < delphia Record. j I I World's Busiest ? ! Region. % isietMeMMitioitaioaois* About the busiest industrial region n earth is the lowland of England rom Lancashire and the Mersey Rivr on the west to Newcastle-on-Tyne a the northwest. Here are scores of ities and towns, the home of the extile industries, the potteries, the reat shops busy with iron and steel nd other raw materials, manufacuring goods of high value for a maret as wide as the earth. Over all his lowland hangs a black pall of 'r oft coal smoke, the landscape stud- J" ed with the tall spouting chimneys. * 'or all this endless activity in raan- j 'fj facture is wholly due to the location a these lowlands of fabulously rich ^ eposits of coal. Coal for a century *? nd a half has been a magical bank ccount in Great Britain, bringing in- cc o existence these great artisan popuations, making demands on every ontinent for the metals and timber nd textile fibers for the busy mills, ? J formes onrl I 01 >11(1 tutu UU iuc 1U1 uia uuu | V*. anges of America, the Argentine and ! w ther new lands, for the bread and j y< leat to feed these industrial millions, j sc >f all this textile territoy, Manches- j is er is the central market and clearing . d ouse. In the Manchester exchange | II 77 towns are represented, eleven of j fi hem having a population of 100,000 di r over.?The World To-day. gi C( words of wisdom:. There is a divine depth in silence. ?Robertson. d In all things let reason be your c< :uide.?Solon. F A man is an indulgent censor to limself.?Latin. " w Sorrows remembered sweeten presnt joy.?Pollok. j Let us have faith that right makes | ?] light.?Lincoln. Circumstances! I make circum- it tances.?Napoleon. ui Necessity is stronger than human .ature.?Dionysius. Striking manners are bad manners. 131 -The Rev. Robert Hall. , w i C t Sloth makes all things difficult, but j ~ odustry all easy.?Franklin. Cast thy burden upon the Lord and i le will sustain thee.?The Psalmist, j ti Censure is the tax a man pays to he public for being eminent.?Swift, ci When you have written a wrathful hi Btter?put it in the stove.?Lincoln. There are pleasures in madnes3 j ? :nown only to madmen.?Dr. John- j k on. i Idleness is more an infirmity of the ; aind than the body.?Le Rochefou- j alt. It's usually the man who seeks to j lo others that gets stung.?Silent t 'artner. j God has given us tongues that we i ** nay say something pleasant to our ellow men.?Heine. He who has to swallow his own irords has plenty of food for thought. 0 -Florida Times-Union. e, The surest proof of being endowed 0 pith noble qualities is to be free from nvy.?La Rochefoucalt. : si He who has conferred a kindness j y hould be silent; he who has received j c; >ne should speak of it.?Seneca. j tl I would rather be able to appre- ! iate things I cannot have than to ! ^ J' T -?? oV>lo tr> annPB. I ^ lave iiiiugs 1 am uu>, iate.?Anon. P He only is advancing in life whose leart is getting softer, whose blood , farmer, whose brain quicker, whose j pirit is entering into living peace.? . tuskin. j tj The man who regards suffering as S| he greatest evil in the world cannot e ie brave; even so he who sees the t] lighest bliss in satisfying his appetit6 annot be temperate.?Cicero. r, j p False Pride. j g Wilbur Wright was discussing the , p plendid work of the Wright aero- ! tl ijanes at Rheims last month. j & "My pupils," he said, laughing, 'didn't have to display the false pride ' f old Jack Rogers of Dayton. "We once had a walking race from h feasant Hill through West Union, A lilton and Trotwood to Dayton. Jack v togers in his prime had walked well, ii tut he was now getting on. He g houldn't have entered. Before West g Jnion was reached Jack began to lag, s' ,nd at Trotwood he was very far be- e iind indeed. "The Trotwood boys jogged along A teside the old man. They urged him ti in warmly. a " 'Go it!' they said. 'Step out! s fou've still got a chance, Jack. Put fi ome ginger into It and you'll win i o I O et-* j "Jack frowned and waved the boys | a .side. He said haughtily as he ! u ilodded on: " 'Git out! Git away! I don't be- t ong to that squad in front. I'm the' P Irst of another relay behind.'"? n Washington Star. o d Bee Scouts. a Swarms of bees are sometimes com< >elled to take refuge in remarkable ^ ihelters. A peculiar and instructive ^ nstance was observed by the writer n the spring of 1908. The swarm lew over a large vineyard which con- c ained few buildings. One of these | t mildings was constructed of hollow joncrete blocks. The swarm flew r lirectly toward a small hole in one of he blocks and disappeared in the in- 11 ;erior. No doubt the swarm had 8 ested on a tree or shrub on the pre:eding day and had sect out scouts ;o seek a home. The . couts found the little hole eading into the great cavity of the * :oncrete block and reported their dis- * :overy to their comrades. This case * iurnishes indisputable proof that r swarming bees really send out scouts, * is they are believed to d>-, for the 8 little hole could not have been dls- 6 covered in the rapid and lofty flight )f the swarm.?Scientific American. 1 I Within twenty miles of the City t Hall, including Greater New York * ind the neighboring portions of New i fersev, there is a population of 1,000,- c >00 Jews, more than in all America ! ] besides. J Developing Milking Strain. Experiments in developing a milkig strain of short horn cattle have sen begun by the dairy division of le United States Department of griculture in co-operation with the [innesota Experiment Station and ith nine Minnesota breeders, the lat;r having agreed to allow their herds > be used and to manage them ac>rding to the instructions of the deartment.?Epitomist. Care of Horses. The hide and flesh of a young horse re more tender than those of an old ork horse. If the shoulders of the Dung horse are allowed to become )re during the first season's work it i likely that they will be sore or tener all the rest of the animal's life. ! the young horse passes through the rst season without injury the shoulers become toughened, and with ood treatment are likely never to be)me sore.?Epitomist. Abont Batter-Making. A lady who seems to know a good eal about practical dairy matters jntributes the following items to the arm Journal: xt_ ? ti. i- 4-V ~ opnnKie iiie sa.ii iu mc uuivci auu st it stand one-half hour and then ork. You will find all the salt dissolved Qd the butter will be moist and have lenty of grain; Many people work butter too much. ; should be pressed together. Never se a rubbing motion. If worked as soon as salted the butjr will be dry, as all the water will 5 worked out, will consequently eigh less and the flavor will not be > fine. If butter is to be used at once one ashing is sufficient; if it is to be ept a long time wash two or three mes. Never churn until the last added ream has been mixed twenty-four ours in winter. Churn in a room as near sixty derees as possible. Never in a very ot or a very cold room. Never tin le churn more than half full. Never attempt to churn without sing a thermometer. Soils Are Improving. Declaring that the world's soils are )-day a greater storehouse of fertil,y than they ever were, Professor [ilton Whitney, chief of the Soils Busau in the Department of Agriculare, Washington, D. C., in a bulletin ast issued, takes a stand in direct pposition to the view of many writrs that soils are gradually wearing ut. Professor Whitney states that a iudy of the record for the last forty ears will show that the average of rops is increasing, particularly in le older States, where the soil has een worked the longest. There has een, he states, an increase of two ushels in the average yield of wheat er acre in the last forty years, allough the yield of corn has decreased ne-half a bushel. "The soils of New England have laterially increased in yields of corn nd wheat during forty years," says ie professor, "but, what is more :artling, they are producing considrably heavier yields than the soils of ie Mississippi River States." He adds that an examination of the scords shows that the leading Euroean nations are not only producing reater crops now than at an earlier eriod, but the crops are larger than lose produced by the comparatively ew soils of the United States. Gross Fed Beef. Professor Humford in referring to is six months' observations while in .rgentina, South America, says that ery fine herds of cattle are produced 1 Argentina without a mouthful of rain. These cattle are fed simply rass and alfalfa and were never in a table. He saw breeding cattle in xtra fine flesh on alfalfa pasture. Grass fed mutton has gone from ^rgentina to London market too fat 3 sell. On oue ranch of 100,000 cres there are 18,600 cattle, 10,000 beep and 2000 horses?all market at without a pound of grain. Most f the cattle country is flat and level nd the climate is ideal for growing, s blizzards and severe weather are nknown. Argentina is a real competitor of ho TTnSfroH Sfntoe anil Viaa Hurinc thp ast three years shipped considerable lore beef to Great Britain than has ur own country. The beef can be elivered in London from Argentina s cheaply as It can from Chicago. Our beef growers have not awakned to the dangerous competition of he South American country, but the acts are indisputable. Our great anges have practically disappeared nd new methods of beef raising are oming into practice. But still beter methods must be adopted, else it rill be impossible for our farmers to aise cattle profitably on our highriced lands in competition with our outhern competitors. Heavier Farm Horse. "We are more than ever convinced hat many farm horses are entirely oo light for the work required of hem. On nearly every farm we see torses of different sizes, and while all nay be good for certain uses, for ia??v Tirnrlr Q n rl milfh of thp WOrlt nil l farm properly tilled, is heavy, the itronger horses not only do the work sasie^ than the others, hut they do it nore effectively. For instance, sup>ose a farmer wants to use his springooth harrow. When horses are ;trong enough to do this work prop?rly the teeth can be put down much leeper, and consequently they do the vork just that much more effectively, rhe same is true with reference tc using a disk. Of course, there may , be some instances where light horse? ! will have the advantage, as, for in- \ stance, when drawing a harrow or j weeder. But the number of instances ! when the light horses of the farm i will do work as well as heavy horses J are comparatively few. Very much j will depend upon the kind of land and upon the nature of the farming that is being carried on, but on nearly all kinds or sous gooa strong norses will be found preferable to those of j light weights* On clay farms it is j simply indispensable to keep horses I able to do work that calls for much j strength to do it properly. This ques- | tion is sufficiently important to en- \ gage the attention of those who ap- I parently have not thought of it, or ! having thought of it have not been . duly influenced by its great importance.?Weekiy Witness. Hog Feeding Test. One of the State experiment stations has made a careful test in feeding hogs certain foods, and gives the j results in the following summary: ! 1. That it required eighteen per j cent, more barley by weight than corn : to produce the same gain in feeding ( pigs when both grains were fed in the : proportion of four parts of grain to j one of shorts by weight. . | 2. That it is profitable to feed bar- j ley to hogs if pork is selling at an i average price. 3. That the carcasses of the pigs ; fed barley and shorts showed a great- I er distribution of lean and firmer flesh [ than the carcasses of pigs fed corn r and shorts. 4. That pgis fed on corn and shorts will dress a higher per cent. ' than pigs fed on barley and shorts. 5. That cross bred Yorkshire* | Berkshires made more grain than the I other cross brcds or pure breds used 1 in this trial. Another test at feeding other foods is given as follows: 1. We can conclude from the results of this trial that ground rejected wheat is capable of producing good gains when fed to swine in connection with shorts. ' 2. In comparison with corn it requires 8.9 per cent, more rejected wheat than corn to produce the same gains. 3. The quality of pork produced is even better than that produced by corn. 4. If pork is selling for a reason- j able price a fairly good price may be [ expected from feeding the rejected wheat to swine. Make Good Butter. Farmers who make butter lor mar- ; ket and sundry small butter manu- j facturers who are stirred by the activity of the Federal authorities in making arrests for violations of the Federal law regulating the manufacture and sale of adulterated butter | have been calling on H. E. Barnard, State food and drug commissioner, in considerable numbers recently for in- j formation as to how to avoid trouble j at the hands of the Federal inspect- j ors. The answer invariably is, "Make good butter." Under the Federal law any butter i which contains sixteen per cent, or i more of water is adulterated butter. A license tax of $600 is required for 1 its manufacture; license for dealing j in the material at wholesale costs ! $480, while a retailer's license costs ! $48. In addition a tax of ten cents a i pound is imposed on all such adulter- j ated butter manufactured. "It is easy for the farmer and the ! small butter maker to make butter I which will stand the Government j test," said Mr. Barnard. "The chief point is to remove all the buttermilk I contained in the butter when the ' churning is complete. This can be j done by washing the product repeatedly through clear, cool or cold water until no traces of the buttermilk remain. Then the butter should ba j worked, either by a machine worker ! or by the old fashioned paddle such 1 as our grandmothers used to use. By J washing and working any batch of j butter which a farmer's wife may | V?a morla oa crtlirl on/1 firm I ix*aivc uiaj ut mcivto uo ouitu unu *?* >u as creamery butter, and will easily i meet all the requirements of the Federal food law. "Many farmers' wives who have j prided themselves for years on making good butter really make only a ! fair grade of axle grease. Thefr butter contains so much water that it would not pass Federal inspection, and under strict interpretation of the | law, the maker would be subject to j fine if an attempt were made to sell it as pure butter. Much of the butter that comes from the farms to the Indianapolis and other markets is washed through perhaps only one water, molded into patties and rushed to market. "Under the most favorable conditions it will not remain sweet more than a few days, because of the buttermilk it contains. This butter commands only acomparatively low price, whereas its value can be greatly enhanced if properly treated. At the same time the danger of the maker's being called to account by the Federal inspectors will be removed. "Moreover, many farmers' wives makes the mistake of churning their | cream before it is 'ripe' enough. The | cream should be permitted to stand until fully ripened before the butter* making process is started."?Indian. apolis News. Good Scheme. Tall Office Boy?"What's the old . man giving you his good cigars to. ! smoke for? Does he want you to cut . out cigarettes?" ! Short Office Boy?"Naw! His wife > Is coming down to make a touch before she goes shopping, and he wants i her to think he Is out."?Boston Posfc f coo9oo909G9e0990099999099 S Torturing IYIen in I ? Free America. 0 9990 9999 09099099 9999 99999 What goes on behind prison walls? Terrible things, inhuman punishments and despicable tortures are common to not a few penal Institutions, according to the report made by that veteran investigator and social philosopher, Charles Edward Russell. For Hampton's Magazine Mr, Russell is writing a series of articles on the evils of some prisons, and the hopeful progress upward In others. Of the worst type Mr. Russell considers the Ohio State Penitentiary a fair sample. He thus describes a part of it: The first buildings are cell houses. Here is one built in 1834. It is a frightful placo, very dark, damp, and to the senses pungently suggestive of long and odorous occupation. The 1 ventilation is so bad that even when 1 the tenants are gone forth the air la heavy and foul; what it must be when ? the 500 cells are occupied with 1 breathing and perspiring men is a suggestion to jostle complacency. There is first the outer wall with barred windows, few and narrow; j then a space of ten or twelve feet, then the cells in five tiers. At noon barely so mucn lignt enters ine corridor that one may see one's way ? about. No light enters the cells. In- ] to these black caves, where the chill of old stone walls strikes one like a palpable thing, and where the heavy air is stirless always, not one ray of natural light has penetrated for seventy-five years. And 500 men sleep in these caverns. Especially does Mr. Russell attack "the contract system." Under this, , in the Ohio State Penitentiary, he says the convicts worked in shops under the direction and control and practically at the mercy of the contractors, who were irresponsible to 1 the State or in this matter to any c other human authority. Each convict must each day pro- 1 diice a certain amount of work called J his "task." 'If he fell short the contractor's foreman reported him to the guard who forthwith took him to the "cellar." This was the place of judgment? and of torture. The deputy warden sat as the court; on the report of the ' guard swift sentence was pronounced. ^ Usually the offender was condemned to be paddled, sometimes to the bull ' rings, sometimes to the water cure, ' and in many cases of old offenders to all three?one after .another. Punishment by the paddle is managed in this fashion: The prisoner is J seized, stripped and bent over the I edge of a bathtub, his legs being manacled to tho floor and his hands < chained before him. A guard takes i a flat instrument, ash, three and a ] half feet long, two inches wide, fitted ' with a handle. He soaks it in hot water. Then he beats the prisoner with itra prescribed number of times ?four or five according to the prison \ officers, ten to thirty according to the < prisoners. "Bull-rings" means that the pris- j oner is strung up by the wrists in a dark cell and thus left hanging, like a carcass of beef. Sufferers from ] this device and other witnesses have declared that the chains are sometimes so adjusted that the delinquent's feet barely touch the floor. 1 This is denied by the prison officers. 'ni - ? ?fi .1,1 mere is no reasuu wuj it suuuiu uut be true; the guards are a law unto themselyes. The cell is perfectly . dark except for what light filters ' through a few narrow slits in the door and is otherwise unventilated. At night the victim is usually lowered and allowed to sleep on the floor?usually, not always. American vs. European Gans. The weapons of Continental Eu- j rope, England and America are all i constructed on similar lines, of iden- ( tical quality of steel and wood, havo the same systems of choking and bor- 1 ing and the character of workmanship is not essentially different. There are minor variations, of course, dictated by taste and habit. Europe tends to multiplicity of locking devices. America to simplicity. But the one American rotary bolt is stronger and more lasting than the quintuple fastening of foreign arms. American and English guns are alike noted for their perfection of balance, baauty of outline and severe simplicity of scroll engraving. Continental Europe tends to floridity of ornamentation with the most artistic pictorial effects in engraving and wood cutting. Personally, I prefer the pictorial in ornamentation, but that is merely a matter of taste. One thing the.American manufacturer can and does do, he can give you as much gun for $100 as Europe can for $200. Grade for grade, it will be found on examination that there is very little to choose between an American gun costing $50 and an imported arm at $100. If money is no object, then exercise your fancy in absolute confidence that a beautiful and satisfactory arm can be ob tained either at home or abroad.? Charles Askins, in Outing. Man of Many Limbs. The old Colonel was spinning off yarns of the Civil War, and in the heat of reminiscent patriotism his memory became somewhat tangled. "Ah. eentleman." he related seri ously, "I shall never forget the charge at Onickamauga. It was there I lost iny leg." Ten minutes later the old Colcnel was relating an incident of Gettysburg. "And when we climbed Little Round Top the bullets were whistling on all sides. It was there that I lost ray leg." And thirty minutes later through a misty haze of smoke: "Seven Pines, gentlemen, Seven Pines! Ah, that was the battle. One of ray legs was shot from under me and?" But just then a timid little boy looked up and asked shyly: "Grandpa, were?were you a centipede in those days?"?Chicago News. The Salvation Army has a factory in Europe where musical instruments are made ?or its members. > > T Quite Necessary.- ' Don't blame the barber if he talks While razoring your skin. Just think, how could he shave a man .Without a little chin? ?Philadelphia Press. | Two Reasons. "Why do they call this the sweet and of liberty? I can understand the iberty part, but why sweet?" "Well, we have Our forest prelerves, and also our subway jam."? Louisville Courier-Journal. ??? Then He Got Busy. Him?"If I were to kiss you would rou scream for help." Her?"I would but for one thing." Him?"And what is that?" Her?"I'd be afraid someone might 1 iccidentally hear me." ? Chicago ( tfews. Modern Romance. "Dear heart tell me something," nurmured the swain. "What is it?" inquired the lady. "Do you really love me?" "Do I really love you? Ain't I < jiving up alimony fer you?"?Louisrille Courier-Journal. An TTtter Wretrh. 1 "Our engagement is broken," adnitted the girl, "but I still have a tenler feeling for him." "You might as well cut it out," advised her friend. "He's going around Dragging about his lucky escape."? Louisville Courier-Journal. i The Wrong Ticket. Conductor (on railroad train) ? 'This isn't the right ticket, sir." Absent-Minded Passenger ? "You lon't say so? What's the matter with it?" Conductor?"This ticket calls for a liamond ring?"?Philadelphia Bulle- 1 ^ | Then He Went. "I think I must be going." re? ! marked the young man for the tenth iime. "You do not appear to be going," i leclared the young lady after inspect- I ing him carefully. "You seem to be perfectly stationary." ? Louisville Courier-Journal. Disappointed. "I read that a cure had been found for this 'ere sleeping sickness," said ?e farmer. "Got any in stock?" "No, not yet," confessed the druggist. "Sorry," rejoined the farmer; "wanted a dime's worth to try on the hired man."?Philadelphia Ledger. The Brute. t "John," she said, "don't you think, this talk about trial marriages is just horrid?" "Oh, I dunno." "Why, you don't believe In them yourself, do you?" "Have to. If there's any marriage that ain't a trial, you just show me." ?Philadelphia Ledger. His Experience. "He seems tor know a good deal about the chicken business." "Yes; it's this way. He took" home a hen one Saturday night for Sunday dinner. Understand?" * "I do." "And she laid an egg in the coop. See?"?Louisville Courier-Journal. ; Too Near the Pole. "Omit, if you please, the first verse J of the hymn," said the minister. The congregation looked surprised. "It mentions'Greenland's icy mountains,' " explained the minister. "We cannot afford to introduce into this peaceful gathering any subject likely to lead to acrimonious debate."? Philadelphia Ledger. Compromise. ; The ladies of the audience rushed forward impetuously to kiss the lecturer. He waved them off wearily. "I do not want *to seem ungracious," he said, "but if you think the price of admission entitles you to more than the address I'd rather give your money back." ? Philadelphia Ledger. Came and Went. The crucial moment had arrived. Anarchy's high priestess was in our midst. All the police had been engaged as press agents. She was determined to talk. Hor- I rors! Then she did talk, mostly horrors. After this she went away, taking the crucial moment with her.?Philadelphia Ledger. The Simple Life. The distinguished traveler had requested that, while being entertained in the South, Creole dishes be barred from the banquet board. "I harbor most pleasant anticipations of your hospitality." he wrote tho onmmittee. "and rejoice that sec tionalism is dead, but I do not feel j called to lay my digestive apparatus even upon the sacred altar of friend' ship."?Philadelphia Ledger. Divided. Man. foreseeing nothing, invented In due season the spade. '"Now what shall we call it?" quoth he. Art was for calling it a spade, but Decency recoiled. "Never!" shrieked Decency. "Anything but that!" And man, thenceforward, though not knowing why, was uncomfortably divided between two counsels.?Puck, ANOTHER WOMAN CUREl f ^ ?..? By Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Gardiner, Maine.?"I hare been s. ?reat sufferer from organic troubles e table ' Com^und months' use of them."?Mrs. S^A Williams, B. F. D. No. 14, Box 29, Gardiner, Me. No woman should submit to a surgical operation, which may mean death, until she has given Lydia E. Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound, made exclusively from roots and herbs, a fair trial. This famous medicine for women lias for thirty years proved to be the most valuable tonic and renewer of the female organism. Women residing' in almost every city and town In the United States bear willing testimony to the wonderful virtue of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, [t cures female ills, and creates ratii. ?* fumilo hoalt.h Tf.VOU ALIO, UUU/OUV AVUM4AV -? - _ are ill, for your own sake as well m those yon lore, give it a trial. 9 Mrs. Pinkbam, at Lynn, 11m, I Invites all sick women to write ber for advice. Her advice is free, and always helpfuL When Yon're Hoarse Use PIS05 V CtIRE:Jg m *t$T mmi m Gives immediate relief. The first 8 dose relieves your aching throat and , * allays the irritation. Guaranteed to 8 contain no opiates. Very palatable. AO Druggist*, 23c. fl PATENTS > The Southerner and Corn. The Southerner feeds himself, hla pigs and his progeny upon corn. He slept in his frontiersman's cabin upon a mattress made of the husks. To-day he contributes some of its | pith to the manufacture of guncotton with which to blow the enemy to Beelzebub, and some more of It to the manufacture of cellulose to pack behind the armor of his country's battleships to prevent them from sinking when projectiles pierce their plates. He plantsvcorn as early in the springtime as the Season will permlt,and gets up at dawn to go into the fields and tickle its spreading rootfc with a double-shovel plow. In mid-i winter he smokes hia corncob pipe before a corncob fire. Looking into a bed of glowing embers, through a blue naze of the smoke of incense burned to Mondamin, he returns thanks for the cornmeal /n the cupboard and dreams happily of the "ros'n ear" of the golden summer to come. His appreciation of the value of Indian corn is high. His affection for it in its various forms is abiding. ?Louisville Courier-Journal. Horrortrt . New Jersey inventors abetted by local capitalists, have devised a firen.o/itar marin onMrelv liv mfl/>hlnerV Ifl av<avi VMVS* . . - at the rate of thirty-sii a minute, at a cost of production less than the Import duty on Chinese firecrackers. "No human hand," we are told, "touches the cracker from the beginning of its manufacture to the end-.' It is perhaps too much to hope that no human hand shall touch it afterward. Doubtless many will, and we shall begin to hear the result on the day after July 4.?Boston Transcript The tew electric Fastnet light, ofl Cape Clear, Ireland, is of 750,000 candle-power. The cost was $420,000. The focal plane of the flash ia 150 feet above high water, ,nd theoretically it is visible sixteen milea. The foundations of the lighthouse are twenty feet thick. A BANKER'S NERVE Broken by Coffee and Restored by Postum. A banker needs perfect control ot . nnf/ib OAAim. lU W nerves auu CL yicai. 4uivn., avwui- a ate brain. A prominent banker of Chattanooga tells how he keeps himnelf in condition: "Up to 17 years of age I- was not allowed to drink coffee, but as soon as I got out into the world I began to use it and grew very fond of it. For some years I noticed no bad effects from its use, but in time it began to affect me unfavorably. My hands trembled, the muscles of my face twitched, my mental processes seemed slow, and in other ways my system sot nut of order. These conditions grew so bad at last that 1 had to give up coffee altogether. "My attention having been drawn Postum, I began its use on leaving off the coffee, and it gives me pleasure to testify to its value. I find it a deliclous beverage: like it just as well as I did coffee, and during the years that I have used Postnm I have been free from the distressing symptoms that accompanied the use of coffee. The nervousness has entirely disappeared, and I am as steady of hand as a boy of 25, though I am more than 92 years old. I owe all this to Postum." "There's a Reason." Read the little book, "The Road to Wellvilie," in pkgs. Grocers sell. Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. *Khej are genuine, true, and full ot hrfrrraU