University of South Carolina Libraries
THE BEEHIVES; OR, A SUR A C'at of Ancient Egypt. he An interesting volume on "The c*' Place of Animals in Human sa Thought" has just been written by ^ the Countess Evelyn MartinengoCesaresco. who shows us that the life of the meanest animal is full of mys- th re terious and uncomprehended possibil-1 st< (ties. The beast is not merely the' sw servant of man; he is his friend and! ally.. He occupies a complementary; place in th"3 great scheme of creation.! Such a conception of animal life is a i se commonplace with many of the older; ce: -religions. It has permeated the j ni; philosophy of the East to such an ex-1 frt tent that the devout Indian will not1 ha willingly injure a fly or a worm, lost1 \vi :;fk- - . Horatio De Vere (after telling a Ion tie asked me if my name was Smith." She (absent-mindedly)?"And was ; Saves Time For Sleep. m T1 Thanks to the genius of a Montana man, it is no longer necessary to get j 11 >ut of bed early on a cold winter ! a.r ?" ? I I *P l- ! w! j St( ^ rfH * J sp ^ X sic f ca wt " * 1 " * in Clock Starts the Fire. ly PRISE FOR TO^BEflR. i ' ^ ' y / j |m ASBm //jfifj I v -From Meggendorfer Blaetter. * i invoke divine retribution. In anjnt Egypt cats were considered cred and were worshiped. One of ese Egyptian cats, preserved In onze, in the collection of the French ubassador at Rome, forms one of e illustrations in the volume and ia produced here.?Philadelphia Recd. Trouble in the Royal Palace. The Shakespeare Club of New Orins used to give amateur theatri1 performances that were dist.inished for the local prominence of e actors. Once a social celebrity, th a gorgeous costume, as one of e lords in waiting, had only four >rds to say: "The queen has rooned." As he stepped forward, s friends applauded vociferously, iwing his thanks, he faced the'king id said, in a very high pitched ice, "The swoon has queened." There was a roar of laughter; but waited patiently, and made anher attempt: "The sween has cooned." Again the walls trembled, and the ige manager said, in a voice that uld be heard all over the house, :ome off. you doggoned fool." But the ambitious amateur resed to surrender, and in a rasping Isetto, as he was assisted off the ige, he screamed: "The coon has eened."?Success Magazine. Dr. Roberts' suggestion in 1881 of wing wounds of the heart was reived as a joke. Dr. Rehn, of Germy, in 1897 got the first recovery >m heart wound. Altogether there ve been sixteen such operations, th seven amazing recoveries. v ?* 7 - - '< ' g and tedious episode)?"And then it?"?From The Tatler. orning to start the kitchen fire, lis man has invented an automatic e kindler, which does alfthe work id does it at the exact minute de*ed. The kindler consists of a ring fastened on a metal plate, ich rests on the ash box of the ave. The spring is held in place a trigger, and at one end is a reptacle to hold matches, head downird. On the front of the plate ands an alarm clock, set for whater time the fire is to be made, hen the alarm goes off and the ring rushes back into the partly ien ash box, in which a pile of in luiiiciuiu maienui, jiajjer ur cxi;ci)r, has been left. The matches are nited in passing over a roughened ,rt of the plate and drop burning to the combustible contents of the x. The latter, of course, is quickignited and the flames communi* ~ ^ A/\nl OK/WA PrtcfATl Pnaf tu luc uuai auv;?t, More than $300,000 worth of birds jre imported into this country durg the year 1908. They were largeparrots and canaries. ?,w 1 J" . . .. . ^ . hz&s hquse w.homep Sauerkraut. Shred fine on a vegetable 3licer i some white hearted cabbages. Pack J In a jar or wooden tub. Sprinkle over all a handful of salt, a teaspoonful cream of tartar and a little water. Put the big outside leaves or cabbage on top, place a cover on tha jar with ! a weight on it, and keep in a warm temperature. In a week or two the sauerkraut will be ready for use.? New York Telegram. A Radish Novelty. Who has ever eaten cookeu radishes? Their devotees declare them more digestible than raw ones and fuSy as appetizing. Here is the way one woman prepared them to convince doubting friends: She cut large white radishes into rounds about a half inch thick. Tfiese were boiled in slightly salted water? rvk'ttnVi for ohrtnt ton mimitoa J1VJI IUU muv^u 1U1 UWV/UV WVM AU.UW.V-/, I and were then fried in hot butter, ! until tender. They were highly sea soned with pepper, salt, a little sugar ! and .iust a drop of vinegar.?New York Times. ! Surprise Peaches. Boil one cup of rice in salted water j until tender, then drain; butter some cups and half fill with rice; press a I hollow in the rice and line the sides 1 of the cup; in the centre place half a large peach or a small whole peach, ' stoned and peeled; cover the top with J rice and steam half an hour, 01; until j the peach is tender; unmould on a plate, and garnish with a spray of I green leaves; serve with a rich, boiled custard made from one pint of milk, I the yolks of four eggs, four level J tablespoonfuls of sugar, one-eighth | teaspoonful of salt and flavor with ! almond; heat the milk to the scalding ! point in a double boiler; beat the egg yolks less than for a cake; stir in the sugar and salt, then pour in slowly mi lb- ctirrinc nil thft I IUC HUt UltlU) WVAAA4UQ W4. r, i put back into the double boiler and cook, stirring continually until a spoon dipped into the custard will become coated with it; strain at once, and when cool stir in the flavoring.?Boston Post. Green Tomato Chutney. ! Often there are tomatoes which will not ripen, and it is sometimes useful to know of some way of utilizing'them. Choose the tomatoes when full grown, but before they have colored, and slice them rather thickly into a clean, coarse hair sieve (sprinkling salt over each layer of slices), and leave them for twentyfour hours. Place five pounds of these sliced tomatoes in a preserving pan. with sufficient vinegar to cover them entirely, then add t 'elve ounces of loaf sugar, one-half pound of sliced onions (not the Spanish onion, as they are too watery), four o.- five chillies, halved or quartered (failing chillies, substitute black pepper-corns), five or six cloves and about one-half inch of bruised cinnamon stick, loosely tied up in a piece of muslin; now stew it all gently in an uncovered pan till the tomatoes are perfectly tender, which will take about twenty or thirty minutes, and then put the mixture into two-pound jars, and cover down closely at once while still hot.?Brooklyn Eagle. LieUa Las i Few people cook cereals long enough. Oatmeal should be cooked four hours at least, longer if possible. Try filling a stocking with hot salt ! and use in place of a hot water bag. Try using fruits and nuts for the ] middle iaye:- op * brick of ice cream. Tse chocolate creams for a cake filling, or place iiiem on top aud frost all over. Try making a layer hickory nut ! cake, and fill and cover it with Lwiiipped cream. Try baking a pie shell and filling it j with apple sauce covered with j whipped cream. Oatmeal is really best if cooked j over night, and in many careful fami ilies this is done. Fireless cookers are growing to be more and more used, and are emi! nently useful and practical. Cut celery in two-inch lengths, fringe each, and leaving a half-inch in the centre, use as'a garnish. As served in many families, the cereal is thick, lumpy, and, if the truth were known, indigestible. Frost cranberry pie sometimes, instead of using an upper crust, and see in you don't like the difference. When you make chicken salad next time try using canned peas, cucumbers or sliced apples instead of celery. Make a layer of chicken by pressing first a dark strip of meat, then a light one, then a light one, and finally dark again. Dip a slice of ice cream in melted chocolate before serving. Or else put it in cantaloupe and garnish wLth cream. The cereal is made too thick in the beginning, because time is not allowed for it to cook long enough to become so. Clear vinegar is csually too strong | for a really pleasant mint sauce, and : the addition of a bit of water with tbe hot vinegar and seasoning before | it is poured over the leaves will be an improvement. A novel way to serve pineapple is to cut the top and bottom from the fruit, cut around (;he side, clip out the contrc, and pile the slices up with powdered sugar, cut down the side of the pineaple shell, replace the slices, then the top, and serve. Put oatmeal on the back of the stove at night, then the first thing in the morning draw it over the hotter part and let it finish cooking. This is difficult to manage where gas stoves are used. The best solution of the difficulty is a fireless cooker. ??? . _ o One Kind of "Foitime-tellinc By FRANK MARSHALL WHITE They were elderly women w white hair, one a widow and the otl : not, and they lived in Newark. Tfc j had told one another that if such w< ; ders of prophecy and fortune-telli ; as they had seen advertised in 1 j newspapers were being performed j near at hand as New York, they out i to convince themselves of their a uality. The idea of calling upon i person who had never seen them i (! known of their existence before, a ' of being greeted by their names a I informed what they had come to h | for ( as the advertisements promisei held hope of a sensation In its i worth the time and money involvi aside from the manifold advantaj i to be derived from a knowledge ; the future. They finally settled up i "Professor W. H. Garnet," who i j vertised himself as "permanently I cated in my own home," -and -w I promised as much for a dollar as a ' of the others, because he bound hi ! self to explain "the great Karm ! law." His own home, in which the f ! tune-teller advertised himself permanently located," was one of I familiar type of New York brov stone houses of the better class, ii j street running from Long Ai ! Square and only a few doors fn j Broadway. The two white-haii J women were met at the door by solemn colored man, who ushei j them into the fr?nt parlor and ash ! if they had come to see the profess . On being answered in the affirmat , the attendant handed them each small scribbling pad, and asked th | to write their names and addres: ; on the outside sheet, and then to t( 1 off the sheet and retain the writii J "We ask all visitors to write th names and addresses, simplj' as ! guarantee of good faith," he ti \ them. "But don't write while I ; I In the room, and don't let me see 1 ! writing." ! The negro withdrew for five m I utes, and then returned and tc | away the scribbling pads, the t j women having In the mean time wi ! ten their names and addresses, a ! put the paper slips on which tl ! were inscribed in their purses. 1 1 minutes later they were ushered ii the awful presence of the "professc i himself, a tall, ferret-eyed man, we ! ing a brocaded dressing-gown, v, ; addressed them by name. Yet It was a simple trick by wh ' the dupes were induced to believe j the occult powers of the fortune-t< i er. The scribbling *pads on wh the servitor first asked them to tri i scribe their names, and to write do the object of each subsequent vi: : were of chemically-prepared pap and what was written on the 1 j sheet was transferred in invisi characters to the next, the writi being afterward brought out witt i powder. A simple trick?yet in N | York alone it is helping to victim . scores and hundreds of the ignori and superstitious, who, duly i pressed by such evidently miracult power and wisdom, yield their savii into the hands of these imposters, a become aware of their credulity oi when they find themselves left pen less and helpless.?Harper's Weeh I America and the Vatican. It must finally be considered th with the exception of a few cardin intrusted in Rome with certain i portant offices like the Secretarysi of State, the Prefecture of Propagi da, the six suburban episcopal se j the Chancellorship of the Chur etc., most of the other cardinals, } yond being electors in the case of 1 ' vacant pontifical see, are much' 1 important in .power, prestige, inl ence and economic position than s i eral archbishops and some bishops tha United States. While the Car i nalate would practically add nothi except the satisfaction of some am tious feeling, to some powerful ar bishops, like those of New York a Chicago, what the United Sta j really needs is a cardinal of theirs siding in Rome to interpret Americ opinions, methods and aims to 1 j head ofsthe Church. Of course, > any of the American archbishops wi ordered to such a post their adm , able sense of duty and unflinchl ' spirit of discipline would lead th to accept it, but no one of them woi I willingly leave his position in Am ica to become a secondary member the Sacred College in Rome. Thi ' could be no better demonstration 1 the superiority of an American art i bishop to an ordinary wearer at I i purple in the Eternal City.?Sal i tore Cortesi, in North American I ' view. Kaiserin is Artistic, i The German Kaiserin has a gc eye for scenery and artistic subjec i and is a very successful amateur pi tographer, and occasionally sketch She has a most interesting collect! 1 of sketches and snapshots as menu toes of her tour with the Kaiser in I j Holy Land. Her Majesty is fond j arranging the flowerc in the privi apartments of the palace. On one ! Casion, when an English photogra] ' er was honored by a command to pi j tograph the imperial family at Pc dam he was asked to wait in an an ! room while the Kaiserin arranged 1 apartment in which she was going ( be photographed. "Mother is qu - ready now," said the Crown Prin coming into the anteroom, and I photographer advanced to find I , Majesty standing in a charming pc , tion, with vases of her favorite flc ers about her.?Kansas (Jlty journ I The First Balloonists. I Mention of the experiment of pi ! ing dogs in battleships subject bombardment recalls the fact tl 1 animals were used as passengers ! the early experiments in flying. [ fact, the first modern aerial travel i were a sheep, a cock and a du I which were suspended in a cage neath the balloon sent up from V j sailles by Joseph Montgolfter in 17 i A voyage of two miles left them qu i uninjured, except the sheep 1 | kicked the cock in the wing. I America, too, early experiments w ! made with animals, which were j up to a certain height by a rope I London Chornicle. S 14-i - --- ct- Special Training For Highway En a gineers. iop The dsmand for practical business nd sense in both the system of supervis na ion and the work of construction o im road building grows apace, i), From the New Orleans Item, of re elf cent date, is this excerpt: "So lont ed, as we continue to dissipate our monej ;e3 and time on roads and levees anc of similar public works, through man] ion channelB, and thus divide the' re id- sponsibility for it, and encourage iti lo- dispersion into utterly unfit and in hd competent hands on n vicious schem< .ny of political preference, we shall mere m-. ly continue to pour out our money ick like water into the great river through so many pipes." or- Ana from tne jfortiana, ure., ure as gonian, this paragraph is taken, il the lustrating a similar demand for re vn- form in the road building system o 1 a that State: "The principal elemen ere in a good road is brains. Sir Joshuj om Reynolds used them to mix his pain -ed with. The lack of them is the chie r a fault in our highways. Consider th< ed myriads of idiots who have beC2 tink :ed' ering at American roads for 3 0 ( or. years and then wonder, if you can ive that the work has been foolish am a1 the money wasted." em Why Is it that the idea that any ses one who couli lift one end of a dumj sar board could build a road came to bi ag. so generally accepted in the past,- an; eir! more than that anyone who coulc a' throw a plank across a stream coul< old build a bridge, or that anyone wh< am could carry a hod could build a house tho is difficult to conceive. It is an ide< that has cost the people of this coun in- try an immense amount of money. >ok Road building is a branch of en wo ' gineering as much as land surveyinj :lt- | or railroad construction, or bridge ind building, or mining, or .any of the oth ley | er specialties of the profession. I 'an ronnl ron fro in in o> r nrl fioM or norionoi naiuiug unu u^tu ato in the engineer and an organizatioi )r" with a responsible head and efficien ar- subordinates for the departmen rho work. How little the necessity for specia ich education for road work is under in stood even at the present is illustra jll- ted in the recent remark of an engi ich neer, who has stood for years ia thi in- front rank of highway builders, t< wn the effect that one of his most tryinj 3it, experiences has been to secure fieli er, assistants' who could, comprehend ; top cross section. It is believed that thii ble is a condition couimon in all thi [ng States where improved roads are be i a ing constructed on an extended scale ew It is not just, however, to class al ize these men as "idlo'js," for they ar< int intelligent enough in other direc m- tions; they have undertaken work fo: )us which they have not been trained ant igs they go into it imbued with the ol( md time idea that they do not need an; Qly r; ecial knowledge about it. ni- Road builders must be educatet jy. in the theory and trained in the prac tice of mar! buildine to be successful and to this end special instruction ii att highway engineering as a branch b; ajs itself is required, and. is already be m. ing introduced in some colleges ant hip agricultural schools. in. As the demand for highway engi ,es> neers increases the same question o cj2t fitness will intrude itself that is beinj be_' agitated in other branches of the pro tbe ^e39'on?that of eliminating thi ess quacks through a system of State li <ju_ censes. As doctors and lawyers an ev. required by statute to satisfy th< 0j State of their fitness to practice, it ii jjj. being demanded that civil engineer ine be similarly required to attain a mor< uniform standard of efficiency than ii cjj. indicated bv a mere "-degree fron >n(j some of the technical schools. Thi: tes eligibility test should be extended t( re_ highway engineers. ;an Road building is public work? [.jjg there is but one employer in the busi jl ness. A man in seeking a position ii 5re this line has no choice, except as t( "ir. locality, as to whether he will worl ng for this man or that and no oppor em tunity to change from one businesi Ji(j concern to another, such as prevail! er. in other occupations. Thp peopl( Qf have a mouoply of the highway im Jre provement business. To induce "0j therefore, intelligent and efficient mei to enter this service it is essentia .jje not only to make the pay liberal bui va. to offer a reasonable guarantee thai ^e. the position shall be permanent. Tht best talent cannot be secured for roac engineering . ? long as a man is likelj to lose his position as the result ol the next election.?Good Roads Mag icd azine. :ts, - - Blaine's Old Mansion. 63. ion Washington is wondering whethei en. the Westinghouse mansion at Duponl Tjjt) circle will next winter be thrown opet oJ and so dispense again its lavish hos ate pitality. It is a substantiol looking oc brick house, and in the days when 41 ^ was built for Mr. Elaine it was re^ jj0 garded as one of the palaces of the )ts city and pictures of it were usee against Blaine in his canvass for the lh Presidency. and the question was ". asked where did he get the where withal to build it. He actually hac to establish his residence elsewhere cc The Westinghouse family finally came j into possession of it and was lavist with social functions, but Mrs. West )S1inghouse has lately been fonder oi * London and Parisian residence, and further, the Westinghouse residence has been quite outclassed by houses or rather palaces erected since. ac* Young Westinghouao has lately tc married an English girl and it is ho) 1 J V. ? ?.III n^nWIoli a Tt'intoi uupuu lU'iil ill? win coccus 1*01* u ??lui-vi iD residence in this city, or at least thai Mrs. Westinghouse vrill care to live era once more in America now that hei ck. son will establish himself in an Amer be- ican home.?Boston Advertiser. er 83. | It,: Within two years from the great ia(j earthquake which undid San FYan ]n cisco, that heroic city has put $100,' ere 000,000 into building operations, ol let which, according to trustworthy state ment, all but ?4,000,000 came Iron. local sources. ,1 I . ??MB,?, .. . . ' ' TX?Y;' / y" Pari3 surgeons are using, in""soma! i cases, nails for the cure of simpld j \ fracture. For fracture of the shiri | l bone or of the thigh bone a nail of | nickel, aluminum or magnesium?j preferably aluminum?is used, and j ] " driven in to hold the two pieces of 1 bone together, much like two pieced ] 3 of wood. ; ] f The wine storage houses in Franca j are now using cement tanks lined J - with glass instead of old woodsn ones ; The glass lining is used for two rea* ] r sons?.the acids in the liquor decora- 1 pose the cement, while the cement? afy ir sorbs the bouquet of the wine. Al^k - in Havre has a capacity of 290,000 3 gallons. % . < 3 Fatigue of the eyes and more o* - less persistent ocular troubles artf , , produced by the rapid and brief ex^ , citations of the retina by the cinema^ ' tcgraph. A French physician ha3 . - given the name of cinematophalmia) - to affections of this character. Thd . troubles are not very serious and gen* f erally yield .easily to simple remedies. I i Students of the Crustacea often t find the cod a useful assistant coll^cf tor. Thus the circular era* seems to j be a favorite food of cods and rays, . and it was chiefly from the stomachs ) of these fish that some of the oldest naturalists obtained their specimens. 1 Another hunting ground of the natur> alist is the. sailing ship which has . been in foreign parts. ) 3 Professor Charles Richet, of Paris, j. has devised a means for purifying j- the air in rooms.- His apparatus is j' an air filter which mechanically sterilj izes air. Very fine drops of glycerine , are scattered along the walls of a j cylinder containing a suction fan. Each particle of air drawn in by the : fan is freighted with glycerine and _ hence tends to drop, thereby carrying y with it the germs, dust and microbes * with which it may be laden. t One of the latest photographic in* a ventions is a lens by means of which ~ a complete view all around the obt server can he taken at once. It is t known as a periscope lens, and enables the observer to see all around tb? ^ horizon without moving. Such a lens saouia prove useiui on Doara snip, in aeroplanes and in all cases where a view all around is essential. The resuit is attained by means of a circular 5 ring of glass curved on the outer sury face, and flat inside. By this the light j from all sides is reflected down the tube which carries the lens. The periscope lens enables the photographei g to take a circular picture of the view all around him. The new lens is a British invention. g An Inventor in London has been doing some demonstrating in that * metropolis to show the advantages of his new process for converting iroi? j into steel. He declares that iror which is not worth more than twe cents a pound may with ease be turned into steel which is worth a dollar a pound, and, what ij more; ordinary iron, after it has been shaped into the tool or vessel desired, may then be turned into this high-grade steel at a cost of about ' five cents a pound. The process has j the advantage of being able to turn j the iron wholly into steel, or, if it is " desired, merely ?giving it a coating of J steel. The inventor points out a " great saving is made by first shaping the tools in the soft iron and then 3 changing them into steel. 3 Tungsten in Electric Lighting. The fusing point of tungsten (3050 3 degrees Centigrade) is higher than | any other known metal, which enables it to operate at the very high ^ efficiency obtained in the tungsten lamp. One of the laws of incandescent light is that the higher the temperature the better the light and the greater the economy of current consumed. Up to a few years agq tungsten was known only in laboratories, 1 and then in only a very impure state, } and on account of its rarity the price c was very high. But latter-day prospecting has resulted in the finding of ' vast bodies of the ore, and the price 3 has correspondingly dropped to about $7 a pound. It would be even lower than this but for the difficulties in i ' refining the metal. These new tung- , | sten incandescent lamps, with the | same consumption of energy and ex- i ? pense to the consumer for current, | give nearly cnree nmss ine liiumma| tion of the old carbon lamps. The lighting companies were quick to see r the advantages of this wonderful improvement, and are now encouraging ! their customers to use the new lamps, j making it plain to them that they can I obtain.three times as much light of a i better quality for ths same money.? P Review of Reviews. l Celebrate Snrrender of Cornwallis. The "Descendants of the Signers," ^ ? one of the most important of the pat triotic societies in this country, will * celebate at Yorktown, Va., on October 5 17, IS and 19, the 128th anniversary I of the surrender of Lord Cornwallis 1 and his British forces to General : J George Washington. This patriotic | ' organization, as Its title indicates, is | ' composed of men and women whose i * forefathers w$re signers of that im* ?*v-? nnf f!ia Tl aaIu rotinn rs P Ill U I Lei I UUL UIJICU l, uig JL/ctiuiubiuu v? ?. | 1 Independence. They will hold their } ' celebration of the surrender of Corn- | c wallis in the State which gave to the i American Revolution its greatest sol1 dier and the first President of the 5 United States. , Virginia has many battlefields, but none of them of T broader historic interest than the ' field of Yorktown.?Baltimore Sun. t 5 And Just as Good as Ever. : An old physician of the last gener- ! - ation was noted for his brusque man- I nor and old-fashioned methods. One j time a lady railed him in to treat her j ^ baby, who v?as slightly ailing. The ; doctor prescribed castor oil. "But, doctor," protested the young j mother, "castor oil is such an oldfashioned remedy." "Madame," replied the doctor, "babies are old-fashioned things."? Philadelphia Ledger, . . . . f TT . . Je has lull a million dollars bid I haven't got a cent, Jut according to the poet* rVealth means absence of content; so I just ought to be happv ind let naught my spirits dash, 3ut in poetry's no comfort Vhen the Tailor asks for cash Ind the Landlady is dunning for her rooia rent and her hash! ;f the-poet's words are truthful, [t's a fine thing to be poor, 3ut the ills of wealth I'm thinking [ might manage to endure; rhat adversity has its uses '.'here is possibly no doubt, 8ut those uses I've no use for \nd would rather do without, knd have my dear belongings otherwhere than up the spout! t'm no worshiper of Mammon A.nd I don't want to possess A.U the wealth of all the Indies? / [ can get along with less; out co, nave to stmt ana wonaer How the next bill's to be met rs a beastly thing, by thunder! And most certainly don't get , ' Content into a fellow's mina, and never has as yet! ; a A makes most delightful reading, And of it there is a lot. Does the roasting of the dollars By the ones who have them not! But to idly sit and flout them Will not pay your bills when due, j> And you'll find it vastly better And life happier for you If you'll honestly go nustle and gather itt :) a few! ?Henry Waldorf Francis, in Pearson's i Magazine. ~ PITH AND POINT. "I made a big hit with that woman* '.% all right." "What did you say to her?" "Nothing. I just kept still and listened."?Louisville CourierJournal. Lawyer?"Did you take the prisoner apart?" Witness?"Yea, sif." Lawyer?"What happened then?" Witness?"He told a disconnected * story."?Baltimore American. A girl need not be witty, If neat and sweet and prettv; And she needn't be good looking ' XI ucr Bpcuaiiy is tuuiuuK. . i. ?Birmingham Age-Herald. . Sympathetic Fast; Bowler?"What! :rX Has it knocked a tooth out, old chap? Hard lines!" Injured Batsman? "Yes; and I've only just had It stopped, too!"?Punch. Blobb*?^"What's the matter with Henpeckke? He seems quite de- , pressed." Slobbs?"Oh, J made the mistake of telling him to make himself quite at home."?Philadelphia Record. "She's going on the stage." "Is that so?" "Yes; she can't sing, can't act, can't even dance, hut the mana ger has hired 'her to play a maid because she looks the part."?Detroit Free Press. Little Clarence (in the midst of his ,3 ^ perusal of a newspaper Item)?"Pa, what is a 'Blue Grass widow'?" Mr. Callipers?"Why, a grass widow who failed to get alimony, I presume, my <g|?j son."?Puck^ /. "I heard Henry say the other dav v that Jimmy was his alter ego " "Oh, ; : ^ the idea of his calling the boy a name like that! And everybody thought Jimmy was his dearest friend!"? "'} T3a1Hmniia A marinn i^Ul UUiUl V AMAVi His wife came in the office. Bright and sunny; She visited s while, Then asked for money. ?Detroit Rree Press. - M Mamma's Darling?"Say, pop, I'll be glad when I get old emyighfp do as I please." Henpecked Husband? "When you reach that age, you'll f probably be foolish enough to get !i\M married. So what good will it do ^ you?"?Judge. The little boy who had stuck hi* . -C head out of the car window to address / a question to the man on the station platform drew it in again. "Mam- |sj ma," he said, "that man out there says this place is Wydopen. Isn't that a funny name for a town?"?Chicago Tribune. ' Grandfather's Clock Doea Stunts. When representatives of the District Collector of Taxes attempted to remove from a Georgetown house yesterday a grandfather's clock which had been levied on in payment of personal taxes the old timepiece, ' r | which was in perfect running ordjer when the officers entered the house, fell to pieces in a heap of debris. The old clock was worth probably J1UU to any curio aeaier ur wuwwl of that type of Colonial furniture. It had been in service there for seventyfive years. When the officers unscrewed the clock from the wall preparatory to removing it ft tumbled to pieces as if struck by the wand of a magician.?Washington Herald. Time at the North Pole. At the North Pole time is nothing, and if one were residing at the North Pole it would be unnecessary'to wind one's watch. ' You are always at 12 o'clock and can't walk out of the hotel without walking south. All times of day meet at the pole, as the meeting place of all the meridians. A man sitting with the invisible m&themrtical point right under him would be in all twenty-fcur hours at once. Or a twenty-four hour watch placed on the pole could be made to point to the correct time in every part of the world.?London Chronicle. Peril in the Watermelon. While eating a watermelon last Monday at Travis Misses Annie Weaver, Vallie McDonald and Minnie Ransom became so sick it was necessary to call in Dr. Hubert Meredith, . and he pronounced them poisoned. The watermelon evidently must have been "doped" at the patch to catch some thief. Look out, girls.?Allen County (Ky.) Times. The Perfect Hog. The Poland-China is an almost perfect meat making machine. It is not excelled by any breed of any kind of live stock for converting feed into flesh. It has a voracious appetite, a. good digestion, and is lazy, not using much of its energy in travel or excitement. It will stand heavy feeding and considerable neglect.?From liaising Hogs in Colorado.