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Ewwrf Sewwa Cleuwses the System E^fecXuciWy ^Hspds colds awd Headaches dwe\o Co\\sV\paV\o\\; Acts xva\wo%, actstruVy as aLaxaWve. Bes\jov Mew)VWexv aT\&Ou\<Jt raw?\/ouw? axvd ?\&. To get \Vs b?neJ\c\o\ ejjec\s aXwocys buy \\\e Gexixivcve, rr?anufeclu fed by CALIFORNIA Fig Syrup Ca SOLO BY ALL LEADING DRUGCISTS one size only, regular price 50* per bottle. Wherein lay His Ability. My little boy, four years old, ha never liked to say his prayer ver well, so has never learned it, but re peats it after me. He has a littl cousin who is more than a yea younger and she has learned it, s the other night my little boy wa repeating it after me and I said "Roger, Isabell knows all of her littl prayer and she isn't nearly as old a you are." He looked rather sober fo . a minute, then he brightened up an said: "Well, bat I can lick her."Delineator. Right of Possession. A. J. Singelyn, of the Burns Hotel says somebody played a mean trie) on one of his German customers las week. "The German had one of those oli fashioned fly traps in his place," sai( Mr. Singelyn. "It is about a foo high and half the diameter at th bottom. The flies get in somehow and then they can't find their wa; out A fellow went into the salooi on one of the hot days and the fl; trap was full. 'I'll give you half i dollar for them flies,' says he, am the German's face lit up as he ac cepted it and shoved over the trap The man looked at it awhile, thei loosened the bottom and let the flie: out. " 'Vat's der matter mit you?' askec the excited German. * 'Nothine.' reDlied the man as ht neared the door. 'They were my flies and I could do what I wanted with them.' "?Detroit Free Press. Possibly. A friend of a little five-year-old boy was trying to interest him in the robin. She asked him if he had ever seen a robin pull and pull at a stubborn worm until'the bird lost its balance. With an imagination as bright and glowing as fire, for an absurd situation, the child said: "Yes, and if it turned a somersault there might be auother worm in front oi It."?Delineator. The city of Prague harbors an architect who rejoices in a name disfigured by no vowels, viz., Rtkrz. ine ut^umu iuiic is iuui nines longer than the English. The Tennis C MAY SUTTON Tells Aiterican Girls How To Be Healthy and Graceful. SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. Don't drink coffee. Do.?'t drink tea. t Don't exercise too much. These three don'ts constitute the advice of Miss May Sutton, champion woman tenn's player of the world, to \ girls who would go in seriously and s systematically for athletics. Eat what you want. Take long walks. Get all the fresh air you can. These are the three rules Miss Sutton lays down for girls who desire merely to be strong and healthy. The little champion recently appeared on courts In San Francisco in a series of exhibition matches. It had been reported that she was not in the best of health, but she gave no indication of having "gone back," playing her strong game that made her world's champion, with her same old dash and accuracy. At the close of the series Miss Sutton was asked to tell what system ol training she had found most effective and what, in her opinion, is the best form 'of exercise and diet for the average American girl. Inpartshesaid: "While I advocate hearty eating, I cannot say too much against the use of tea or coffee. ta r A nf?rir*? i^oct-rmroi-e in A **N-jr utv nvi v v-. uv^ou aau no one can be healthy whc persists in their use. "Too much exercise is as bad as toe little. Walking is the best exercise there is. Early each morning, aftei drinking a glass of hot water, dressec in loose clothing, I walk for nearl) ac hour. "Athletics should receive some at tention from every girl. If her tirm precludes the playing of tennis or gol] she should take long walks iu the open air, both before the mornlnf and evening meal, throwing the heac and shoulders back and taking long deep draughts of that which mone) cannot buy but is in reach of the poo; as well as the rich?pure air. "Pure air and a moderate amoun of exercise I cannot too strongly im press upon girls as being the only se cret of health and grace. Medicin< for that out-of-sorts feeling may caus< girls to imagine they feel all right bA what they really need is mor< fresh air and not quite so much sit ting around the house in tight-fittinj clothes as a great many of them do." Miss Sutton is declared by physi cians to be a perfect athlete. Tenni experts declared that every movemen is "a picture."? Lexington (Ky.) Leader Fostum Cereal Co., Ltd., ] O0T Well Named. Lu?Ie Lina had recently taken up elementary physiology, and was being questioned at the dinner table by her mother as to what she had benefited. "Sister, how many teeth have you?" j The response came quickly: "I'll have thirty-two when I get my purga- | tory teeth."?Delineator. ECZEMA BURNED AND ITCHED. Spread Over Hand, Arms, Logs and Face?It Was Something Terrible ?Complete Cure by Cuticura. "About fifteen or eighteen years ago ec- | , zema developed on top of my hand. It j burned and itched so much that I was j compelled to show it to a doctor. He pro- j nounced it ringworm. After trying his dif ferent remedies the disease increased and j went up my arms and to my legs and I finally on my face. The burning was something terrible. I went to another doctor "* wb# had the reputation of being the best i in town. He told me'it was eczema. His medicine checked the advance of the disease but no further. I finally concluded to try the Chiticura Remedies and found relief in the first trial. I continued until I waa completely free from the disease and I have not been troubled since. C. Burkhart, 238 ; W. Market St., Chambersburg, Pa., Sept. 19, 1908." Potter Drug &. Chem. Corp., Sole Props, of Cuticura Remedies, Boston, Mass. New Penmanship in Public Schools. 3 A new system of "modified peny manship" will be started in the publ_ 11c schools of the city as the result of e an investigation of the subject by a r committee of thirty teachers during 0 the last school year. The new sys9 tem is a modification of the old ver tical style, which came In for much e condemnation, and the Spencerian 3 type. The result is expected to put a 7 stop to the cramped writing causei ^ , by the old system and to instruct the ~ children to speedier penmanship.? Philadelphia Record. Incomprehensible? I. "i hate to be contradicted," she ^ said. ;t "Then I won't contradict you," he returned. 1 "You don't love me," she asserted. 3 "I don't," he admitted. t "You're a hateful thing!" she e cried. * "I am," he replied. T "I believe you are trying to tease a me," she said. V "I am," he conceded. 3 ma *-< A fvinf ttaii /1a 1 rttf a mo? " * AUU iuab juu uu XUTO uic; 1 "I do." For a moment she was silent. "Well," she said at last, "I do hate i a man who's weak enough to be led 3 by a woman. He ought to have a mind of his own?and strength." I He sighed. What else could he do? ?New York Times. 5 No Use. 1 Our little girl was in the garden vainly calling a pet kitten that was up a tree, On account of the thick foliage she could not see that the ^ kitten was climbing higher all thtt 1 time, but her sister who had been L watching from an upper window an? 1 could plainly see the kitten, called ! disgustedly: "Minna, Minna, come in1 to the house; you are calling the 1 wrong end of her."?Delineator. ; There are 251 postal savings banks : in operation In the Philippines with 8408 depositors and 5717,000 on deposit. Filipino depositors number | 4591 and Americans 3375. It takes a wise man to conceal the ; fact that he knows anything when he goes into High Society. hampionSays "Don't Drink Coffee "Don't Drink Tea "Don't Exercise Too Much" Very easy when you know how | much more satisfactory POSTUM is, as a morning cup. A hot, steaming cup of Postum j i-i is as invigorating ana Dracmg as , coffee. But instead of caffeinewrecked nerves, headaches and . heart troubles that overtake the 1 coffee drinker, Postum furnishes | a liquid food which strengthens head and body. A ten days' trial of well-made Postum (boiled 15 minutes) convinces. "There's a Reason." i > < WONDERED WHY Found the Answer Was "Coffee." i I Many pale, sickly persons wondei for years why they have to suffer so, L and eventually discover that the drug ? caffeine?in coffee is the main . cause of the trouble. < "I was always very fond of coffee 1 and drank it every day. I never had much flesh and often wondered why f was always so pale, thin and weak. > "About Ave years ago my health s completely broke down and I was co? fined to my bed. My stomach was in [ such condition that I could hardly r take sufficient nourishment to sustain j life. "During this time I was drinking ; i coffee, didn't think I could do with- j F out it. ; "After awhile 1 came to the con- ; ; elusion that coffee was hurting me, j 1 and decided to give it up and try J Postum. 1 didn't like the taste of it j r j at first, but when it was made right? j r boiled until dark and rich?I soon be- ] came very fond of it. t "In one week I began to feel bet- , - ter. I could eat more and sleep bet- j - ter. My sick headaches were less fre- I 3 quent; and within five months I j 2 looked and felt like a new being, I headache spells entirely gone. 3 "My health continued to improve j - and to-day I am well and strong, i ; weigh 148 lbs. I attribute my pres- j ent health to the life-giving qualities - of Postum." s "Thare's a Reason." t Read, "The Road to Wellvllle," In \ pkgs. Battle Creek. Mich.. U. S. A. | AN OLD SUBURB AT NIGHTFALL. I Stand but a-tiptoe on your highest hill, | My haughty city?look a while away j And see the elder town that nestles still Among her quiet greenery; hush the bray Of motors, and that moan, Your climbing trolleys' tone; Hush, while her church-bells say their evening prayer! See not with scornful air Her many marks of wear. The broken street, the door-stone cupped and gray; Time was, she saw in you A flippant suburb, new, A thing for sweet indulgence as yoa grew Close to your elders' side, As 'twere the frisking pride Of some white-choker'd father of thnJb day, Or mother, thinly tied In scarf and bonnet wide? Smiled on, yet chidden for its forward way. That old town gave her best; Your stanchest, wittiest. All in their babehood hung upon her breast; Now, as in hazy lace The twilight wraps her face, Breathe her kind thoughts before she sinks to rest! ?Jeannie Pendleton Ewing, is Youth's Companion. Ilk Old Love and the New f * By Margaret E. Donneilan. * Louise had just finished hanging the clothes and turned about to drink in the beauty of the May day, when a sweet voice called out: "Lou, Lou!" She gave a start of pleased surprise and ran down to the end of the orchard. On the Hastings side of the wall, in the summer house built In the cherry tree, a girl of about twenty years was ensconced in a reclining chair. Louise hurried up the few steps to the little bower. "Katie Gbrdon, when did you come out?" and she nearly smothered her friend. T J ?-rr i * V* sl/sll/vVif n f xvuim ? tiyea uautcu mm uuugui. cu. the surprise. "I'm to be out all day. The doctor says If my heart doesn't go back on me I shall soon be well." She looked up shyly. "I'm so happy that you are glad?" There was a pathetic sweetness about the mouth as she hesitated ?"lately I thought that Harry had taken my place." Louise would let her go no further. "Katie Gordon, you should be ashamed. Do you suppose I would let any one come between us? Why, you have been my friend since I can remember and I love you dearly." She patted her friend's hand affectionately. "I'll come over and spend the afternoon and we can have a lovely time, and I'll wear my new dress." "Will you really, Louise?" Katie's face brightened with pleasure. "I shall be waiting for you." N Louise hurried through her work and donned her new dress, a charming wonder of gray and old rose. On her way out her mother met her at the parlor door. "Louise, dear, Harry Lawrence is nere ana wisaes 10 /uu n-> mc celebration at Preston." "Harry!" she exclaimed, "why, we had-It all planned to go to-morrow." "Yes, I know," Harry interrupted, coming to the doorway; he gave a glance of surprised approval at his pretty, daintily dressed sweetheafrt. "But I've got to go away for twp weeks to see about some machinery, and I persuaded dad to let me have the afternoon off. "Juat think,'" he pleaded, "two whole weeks; surely, Louise, you can give me the afternoon." Her mother smiled at his anxiety, but Louise hesitated. She could not explain to either her mother or Harry about Katie?they would not understand?but she could see her lying there among the cherry bloom watching for her. She could see the pathetic sweetness of the pa j face and felt the loyalty and comradeship of the old love. She resolved to go to her friend, but raising her eyes she saw Harry watching her; grave and tender the new love pleaded. "You will come with me, Louise?" he said, anxiously. "Yes," she said, stifling the old love with the promise: "To-morrow I'll make It right with Katie." It was late the next morning when she came down to breakfast. With a pleasant remembrance of the good time of the afternoon before, she related little anecdotes to Juer mother. She had finished eating before she noticed her mother was paying little attention. "Mother, what is the matter?" she' said, somewhat alarmed. Her mother placed her arm about her and said gently: "Louise, darling, your friend, Katie, died during the night." Mrs. Hastings had dreaded telling Louise, but hardly expected it to be such a shock. "Katie dead! Mother, no, not that!" Every vestige of color left her face, her lips worked convulsively. Her mother tried to comfort her. "Her heart was weak, Louise; the doctor feared just such an outcome." Louise sat unheeding, dry-eyed, the terrible thought settling on her brain that for Katie and herself there was no to-morrow. The family expected she would be more herself in a few days, but after the funeral she was no better, and when Harry Lawrence returned she refused to continue their friendship. Her family were alarmed and Harry was perplexed and angry. At first he was resentful, but as the summer wore on and he saw his sweetheart so changed and sad, all the manliness in him was aroused. Her mother told him what the doctor said: "If she can be induced to have a good cry she will get better," and he wished he might be the means of helping her. The autumn days had arrived, when one day he saw her sitting on the wall near the Gordon place. He ignored her apparent wish for him to go away and tried to get her to talk about Katie. "You thought a great deal'of her, Louise?" She barely nodded. "She loved you very much?" This time she did not answer. He was uncomfortable at the onesided conversation, but continued: "I was talking to her the day beforo she died, and I told her what I intended to tell you soon if you would let me, and she wa3 pleased." He held her attention, but she di< not seem to realize the meaning of hii last words, for she said: "Did Katie know you were going t< Preston?" "Yes," he said, joyful at the sounc of her voice. "I told her I was goinj to coax you, and she said you musi go. She gave me a note to give yot in case you refused." "Why didn't you give it to me?' There waa something almost tragic in her answer as she jumped from th? wall and stood before him. He was startled. "But you didn'i refuse, and I forgot all about it and afterward you would not speak tc me." He fumbled through his notebooks and finally drew forth a letter, which he handed .to her. She seized it eagerly, almost hungrily, as she recognized the delicate handwriting. , "Dearest Louise," she read. "1 have been thinking how selfish I am in being jealous of Harry's love for you. It is a different love and can never usurp my place. Go to Preston with him. Have a good time, and tell me all about it to-morrow. Your loving friend, KATIE." Louise' stared at the paper in a daze. Through the mist of tears gathering in her eyes she saw her friend'a face no longer sad and reproachful, but sweet with the unselfishness ot true friendship. "Katie! Katie!" she cried, then nf o in CTti/lrJrvr* nrno Imnco oia55ulcl? 111 duuucu ncaivucoo. Harry caught her in his arms, and led her to the wall, and she sobbed out all the pent-up grief on his shoulder. Wisely he let her cry it out keeping his arm tenderly, protectingly about her. When she stopped, from sheer exhaustion, he led her home. With as overwhelming feeling of joy and thankfulness he felt (though he did not understand how it hapJined) that the old love had melted ina> th? new."?Boston Post. Have We Mislaid a Valuable Possession? ' By SENATOR W. E. CLAPP. On the strength of assurances officially made by responsible officers of the United States Government ten or more years ago, nearly 3000 Americans have become interested as residents or property owners in the Isle of Pines. At least nine-tenths of thjg land of the island is now owned by citizens of the United States under titles bought in good faith and paid for to the Cuban and Spanish owners. They have built their homes there, established churches, schools, banks, newspapers, transportation lines and all the adjuncts of American civilization. The conditions which have prevailed in the island for hundreds of years, under Spanish rule, would, with favorable conditions, be mitigated by American ownership. Our people show both a willingness and a capacity for developing its splendid resources, and they feel that they are entitled to encouragement by the maintenance of American sovereignty instead of enduring prostration and loss through expatriation to an alien flag. Our fellow citizens have spent their money in the purchase of farms, have moved their families thereto, built their homes, and endured all the dis. comforts of pioneering, with the distinct understanding, based on their interpretation of the language of the treaty and on official assurances from our Government, that they were entitled to, and would receive, the protection of the American flag. They now find themselves abandoned by their Government and subjected to the rule of foreigners whose hiatory, traditions and policies are altogether different from any to which they have be6n accustomed.?North American Review. Use For Philadelphia Papers. The newsboys who sell papers In the neighborhood of Franklin Field reap a harvest whenever the Pennsylvania baseball team plays a game. Not that the students read the papers more than the ordinary run of mortals, but because every man who takes his girl to the game has to buy a paper or be forever out of favor. Railroad trains run east of the grounds on elevated tracks and throw cinders on the stands, while numerous chimneys on three sides pour forth dense soot. The result is that there is always a thin layer of black dirt on the seats, which no amount of cleaning seems to thoroughly remove. When the girls sit on these seats in their light dresses they leave the game looking like convicts, with black stripes wherever the oak bars have touched their clothes. One newspaper on the seat and on? over the back completely remedy this trouble, and the girls have no sad surprises when they reach home, nor do the students have to walk the streets with a girl dressed like a zebra. This makes it very nice for the newsboys. ? Philadelphia Record. Russian Garden City. Owing to the great increase in house rent in Warsaw persons are beginning to build cottages some miles from the capital, taking the Howard Garden City type as their model. The settlement of Wolomin, ten miles from Warsaw, has already 1000 cottages, a school, church, chemist's shop and market. The place is managed by a committee chosen by the inhabitants, who are employed in Warsaw during the day. In order tc popularize the idea, literary men give lectures in Warsaw on English garden cities.?London Chronicle. Poetic Justice. "No," remarks the editor, with a mocking smile. "I cannot use your verses. You will pardon me for saying that they utterly lack sense, rhythm, meter, idea, form, construction and everything else that should be in a poem." With a proud though peeved heart the poet strode from the magazine office, took his verses to a popular song publisher, had them printed, and within six months, a millionaire, came back, bought the magazine and fired the editor.?Chicago Post, I , j A Woman Lighthouse Keeper, j Writing in Harper's Weekly, William. Hemmingway describes a visit t ' to Mrs. Kate Walker, the woman ' j lighthouse keeper of Robbins Reef i | off Staten Island shore. "It isn't i j much of a story," she said. "Just I keep the light burning and the fog | bell wound up and the siren ready r all the time. That's all." "How i long have you been doing this?" she was asked. "Twenty-three years it i will be next New Year's. My husband was the keeper, but he died j fourteen years ago, and I've kept the j light ever since. Of course, my son ! Jack helps me, but I'm here all the ! time. I couldn't like it being anyj where else. I'm used to it. It's ! home." "Aren't you ever afraid out j here in storms?" Never," Mrs. Walk! er replied. "Once we were worried j ?about ten years ago when the bay was jammed solid with ice from here i to the Jersey shore. We were cut off ! from shore for a week, but it all came out all right.". "And the Mght?" "Oh," said Mrs. Walker, not without a touch of pride, "the light waa always burning." Home is Changing. The real home is becoming, alas, very rare. We have palaces nowadays or else cramped flats, and even in country towns life is not as it used to | be. It is not the fashion to educate j our girls to be domestic in their ! tastes. They are more apt to be ath: letic and carry off skating and. bas| ketball trophies. They meet their i friends outside the house and have I no time to visit except in the most i iormai way. This did not used to be the case, i says the Utica Observer. Women and j girls did not scorn to be found per; forming little tasks abut the house, i They ran in to se^ eagh other in the mornings and exchanged household ; gossip. ' One reason why it is difficult to I create a home xon the old simple a5 ol Sweet Potato Croqm ?? tatoes and while hot sif g j-[ fork. To one pint of tl Qfl SJ half a teaapoonfui of s? "3 ^ | cinnamon aqd nutmeg a ? gj well blended and allow ! 5 e! of Pyramld shape, dip 1 ^ yolk of egg, then into b I a fat: Arrange in pyram ?/ garnish with parsley. i friendly basis is that household inter! ests are called drudgery, and the real i drudgery of the office and the strugI gle for a decent salary are considered j more "elevating." ! Thank goodness, there is a movei ment on foot to dignify household la| bor and make that an art?as, indeed, | It should be?and in this direction I lies the preservation of the right kind | of home.?New Haven Register. Woman's Modesty Doubtful. That modesty with which it has j been the custom to believe the fair 1 sex is enshrined is a misnomer If the ! statements of Mrs. Charlotte Perkins I Gilman are to be accepted as correct. | Lecturing at the Women of Wood: craft Hall, Mrs. Gilman declared woman's modesty was doubtful. "She | will expose two square feet of snow| white bosom." she said, "and then shudder at exposing two feet." But women were not alone in com Ing in for censure. Every one did. I That is, every one who has a brain, j or who chooses to believe he has. The : person with a brain was told that in < reality the brain was hopelessly damaged. "Cracked," was what Mrs. Gilman called it. "That people's brains are generally more or less cracked is shown by their inability to accept new ideas, and the disconnec! tion between what they know ana I how they behave," was one of her exj pressions. i Then Mrs. Gilman told the women j that the instinct of a mother was only j an animal instinct. She said that, acj . Fashion Note. p\1 ? ijp j Something that's just housey, and yet ' not belonging to the wrapper family, is a i little hard to find. The house gown shown ; here is a pretty solution of the problem. Inexpensively d;veloped in silk muslin, it is charming. If a warmer gown is desired, it would be very pretty in one of the fancy -hallies wom^n's]( realm <f cordingly, only one woman in twent knows how to take care of her ir fants. "Taking care of children cau not be done by instinct," she adde<2 and recommended the founding c popular nurseries.?Oakland Tribunt Vacations Spent Traveling. If a woman has just two weeks to a vacation and deeires to spend it a: traveling, she must make her prepai ations thoroughly. The woman wh is going to enjoy her vacation has he trip mapped out long before her starl If she is to take a steamboat trip sh must engage her stateroom earl enough to insure her getting an oul side one. It is impossible to mak steamboat companies give up the out side staterooms just before the trij In preparing for a long trip it is beg to do the packing as far ahead as pos sible so that one will not he too tire when the start is made. If the trip is to be taken by steam boat or rail, with only short stops, \ Is best to be hampered with as fe^ clothes aa possible. If it can be done dispense with the trunk. The wicke suit case is one of the best to earn being very light and large enough t hold all the things necessary. Se\ eral frocks, toilet articles, undercloth ing and shoes can be easily stowe away in the case. Have a neat littl sewing packet in which can be store buttons and sewing material for case of an emergency. Tickets should b purchased at least a day in advanc of the start, and If several roads ar to be traveled a close examination c the tickets should be made when pui chasing them. Often because th tickets are not closely examined er tire trips have to be changed and new route planned. If the trip is to take in severs towns it is best to write in advanc for rooms and board. If girls ar traveling alone they sfcould arrang to reach their destination in the daj time. If this cannot be arranged it 1 best to go direct to a first-class hott ittes.?Boil and peel the sweet pot them or shred them with a silver lis add one fablespoonful of butter, lit, one-quarter of a teaspoonful ot nd two eggs well beaten. Stir until to cool. Now form into croquettes them into bread crumbs, then into read crumbs again, and fry in deep tid shape on the serving dish and , and not risk a search for a boardin house until the next day. When in a sleeping car learn to b comfortable. Do not attempt to dres | entirely in your berth. Always hav a kimona ready to slip on at any time I A long silk coat often comes in ver | handy, as it covers up a multitude o deficiencies when seeking a dressin J room. In a sleeping car cultivate th I early rising habit. In this way th dressing can be often accomplishes | before the rest of the women In th I car have dressed. The clothes shoul be arranged In the berth in such way that they may be found on minute's notice in case of an accideni It is best to. have the porter tak charge of the hat. Hang the skir by pins to the inside of the curtain s that It hangs straight and avoid creases. The other clothing shoul not be piled in the hammock or it wil be a sorry plight in the morning. Th small belongings should not be re moved from the case, and all jewelr; should be worn around the neck or oi the person in some way. , Choose for the traveling suit on that is light in weight and that shed dust easily. The hat should be sty] ish but simple. Avoid feathers o flowers that curl and soil easily. I Is not wise to wear a black hat, as i shows the dust. The straw-colorei ones are much in favor with womei who travel. An umbrella, overshoe and raincoat are almost indispensable on a trip, but the latter can be left a home if the suit worn is of water Droofine material. A sweater shouli go in the bag for extra warmth, as i is very often needed on a boat trip It is also best to have an extra pair o shoes, which can be worn in case o rain. A small case of remedies, such a smelling salts and camphor, oftei comes in very handy, especially on i boat trip, when seasickness must b< reckoned with. i Girls traveling alone should b< j very careful when meeting strangers ! especially in the cities. On their ar I rival it is best for them to step into i j near-by cab and go at once to theii | hotel where they* have applied foj rooms.?Washington Star. Dragging Up the Past. Scolding husbands might not be al together eliminated, but they migh be held in check by the following treatment, which is as original ai effectual. A young wife, just out o :ier honeymoon, was visiting a frient long married. i "Tell me, Margaret, what you d< : when your husband gets cross anc wants to scold?" she wanted to know "Why, I just read him one or twc J cf the letters he used to write me be | fore we were married. That'll stoi :v.iy man's grouch."?New Yorif Times. Trading on the coasts of Madag&s i ccr are 42o small schooners. Jacaei <x. Carter, our Consul at Tamatave i says he thinks some keen Yanke< could go over there and do a gooc ! business fitting those busy craft wltt motors. 1 I ) J Princes and Maids. A prince espoused a beggar maid in days when princes were supreme, For which his fame will never fade, Win love is every poet's theme. Y|t we should cease the deed to praise, For things have strangely altered since. This is the union nowadays? "A maiden weds a beggar prince." ?Chicago Record-Herald. Couldn't Get Feet In. Bacon?"Did you ever sleep in & bungalow?" Egbert?"Well, part of me did."? y Yonkers Statesman. L- Z ' A Sans Sign. I, City Visitor?"How do you know if this tree is a dogwood?" s. Suburbanite?"I can tell by it* bark."?Baltimore American. r Mind Reading, tl Charley Loveday?"Um?ah?er?1 0 Jeweler (to his assistant)?"Bring r that tray of engagement rings here,t. Henry."?Tit-Bits. y Not That Way in Life. > ''Wives are always so trustful on e the stage." > "Whictf shows that realism on the > stage is an utter myth."?Louisville it Courier-Journal. " . d Needs It Baid. John?"I'll bring you a fork, sir/' Th. Customer?"What for?". 1 John?"The cheese, sir." * The Customer?"A fork's no good. * Bring a revolver!"?Sketch-, r . r* Of Some Benefit. r? . Barber?"Did that bottle of hair restorer I sold you do any good?" j Customer?"Yes, Indeed; it kepf me from wasting -my money on any f more."?Boston Transcript, a _ Early Fashion Note e "Why did Eve give Adam the ape Ple?" "I suppose she wanted to get rid .. of the fruit so as to wear the basket e for a hat."?Illustrated Bits. ' 1 Musical Comedy. ' . The Author (to the leading lady) tl ?"Excuse me, but last night you e played the third act first. I don't e think any one noticed it, but it shows e a want of system?eh, what?"?IIr. Iustrated Bits. s 1 ?1 ' Modernizing It. Teacher?"Willie, how did Washington follow Cornwallis?," Willie?"I suppose- he subscribed to the paper for which Cbrnwailla was writing the 'exclusive story' of the fight."?Puck. Lost Opportunity. Wifey?"I remember the night you proposed to me, I bent my head and kJ said nothing." I Hub (comfortingly)?"I know It I worries you, dear, but never mind; I you've made up for it since."?Boa- I e ton Transcript. I ^ Father's Revenge. H "Here is a telegram from papa," I y says the eloping bride. "He says for I no +rk ovinia i-lcht home and live with I g him and mamma." fl e "I didn't think he would be so Tin- B e dictive as all that," sighs the eloping fl ,j bridegroom.?Life. B j Airship Gossip. w fl a "How is it she doesn't manage to fl a get along very well "with her hus- fl t, band?" said the porch lady. fl e "She says he's too slow. He al* fl t ways wants to be pottering 'round fl 0 the United States in an automobile." fl 3 ?Puck. fl 1 The Tripping Tongue. fl 0 | Friend?"I understand, Mrs. Stern, fl " j tl:at your daughter has carried since fl y j we last met." 9 Q I Mrs. Stern?"Yes, and been di- fl I vorced." S e Friend?^"Ah! And who is the fl 3 happy man?"?Boston Transcript. fl r A Resemblance Noted. II f "What do you think of tariff ro- fl . vision?" . "Well," answered Farmer Corn- I 1 tossel, "it strikes me that the tariff I is a good deal like the weather. No H matter what kind you get it's pretty H sure to be bad for somebody's busl- I j ness."?Washington Star. I t j She Took a Pair. E f j "How much are these shoes?" H j ! asked the lady who had the reputa- I ! tion of being a keen shopper. H 3 I "Those shoes are not for sale," re- fl j ; plied the salesman, who had some- I i j thing of a reputation, too; "we're giv- I 3 I ing them away with every pair of " j shoe laces at $3.50."?Judge. H , A Vision Defined. H Teacher in the Sunday-school iwuo H I Has been instructing the young idea H II X1 V ^ r>ir?nc \ H 1 Oil tne auujcti ui *ioiuuo/? *w?, r children, can any one tell me what a H vision is? Ah. Tommy's hend is up! H Well, Tommy?" 9 Tommy (with a drawly voice)? H "It's a sort of dizzy spell."?Judge. H r I Summer Conquests. H 3 ! "Are these all photographs of fel- H i lows you have been engaged to?" H 1 "So. They're the fellows whc B iidn't propose." H ) "What in the world do you want of H 1 them?" H "Why, I am saving them to make a H > rogues' gallery."?Philadelphia Led- H t j The Thirst For Gore. B | Unsophisticated Onlooker ? "I M I think this is a first-rate place. See.B - | what a fine view we have of this car i j coming." jfl Seasoned Spectator?"Fine view, H J fiddlesticks! Nothing ever happens :l I on these straight stretches?not even H i a broken leg. Come on down to the B turn and wait for the fun."?Puck. ''I