Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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I A Mew Explorati By DAVID FAIRCHILD, AgrK of Seed and Plant Introduc ment of Agriculture. : To hunt for new things in foreign lands, and .'.o give what you find away ?what could be more fun thau this? To make an occupation of it. to be paid a living salary for doing it. and to be an official of a great governi>Ati rxvrs. ^nino" if 5a tn I. ut*i."ciu:3?r; juu cii ^ uv/iuj, n, *w? be an agricultural explorer of the United States I>epartment of Agriculture. To travel simply in search of new sensations is interesting indeed, but it cannot satisfy an active, Intelligent mind very long. One can have some hobby, collect paintings, bric-a-brac, or write books of travel, but the paintings are kept in galleries for a few people to look at. the bric-a-brac is shut up in cabinets, and the books one writes afford amusement or instruction to a circle of readers which generally growr smaller every year. But it is different with plants. If I one gets thpse. no matter how rare they are. they car be divided and half given away, and in a few months there will be just as many as before. There is. of course, a feeling in human nature that one likes to have things that others have not. and this is why the orchid hunter? of the Guiana forests, for instance, brave H the dangers 01 lever ana siarvauuu H in search of a new kind of orchid? EX? one that cannot be reproduced from gjgj seed. But I cannot sympathize with Sag those collectors who, with great cere|H mony, take one through their conserIra vatories to show some rare plant, un less it is something they are propa gating in order to give away. I do Ht not believe that to feel you have the only thing of its kind in ?he world |g| can give as mucu pleasure as to know pF you have given a new pleasure to &S thousands. H What the Purpose Is. II Then, too. the day of the great Eg geographic explorers is past, there are no new worlds waiting to be disI covered by new Columbuses. Every continent on this small globe has been crossed and recrossed; every il archipelago of islands, great or small, ss has been drawn on some published is map. The barren waste? of the arctic regions arid the deserts alone remain, with, perhaps, some tropical interior of a well known coast line. Nor should the new agricultural I explorations be confused in the mind E with the botanical surveys of the world that have been carried out by the national museums and botanical gardens. These were in search of new plants, it is true, but with the [ prime object of describing them, of putting their pressed flowers, fruits and leaves into collections of dried specimens, or. sccasionally, of growing them under the restricted conditions of a botanical garden. 'To these explorers a new plant, whether it was good for anything or not, was valuable on account of the light it threw on the relationships of plants and on their distribution over t the earth. Times have changed, and over the i world there has swept a wave of interest in agriculture and a realization of its possibilities for wide? awake, intelligent men. A deeper ~ knowledge of what he can do with j? plants by breeding, by scientific cultivation, has made the American farmer eager to try new things, to see i if he cannot get more out of his land. Wild plants, that until now have been practically valueless, have become of great value for breeding pur]K)ses, furnishing some character, such as a fruit without seed or a stem with spines, that in the new plant created may appear as a valuable characteristic. Here, then, is a new reason, a new stimulus for the exploration of the world, and oqe in which the American farmer's son Is taking an active part. The prairies and forests of the world must again be ranged over by trained men who know what they are after, and this liirino- oooHe nlflnto IU1IC U iO lUV it **?0 ovvua ??? y.v.-v? which they will search for and Import. What a fascination the life of these trained men presents! There is the continual change of scenes and faces, the visits- to beautiful gardens and interesting forests, trips up and down fascinating streams, and numberless inspections of market stalls, to say nothing of the exciting work of following up the clew to some rare thing that one has got trace of in a market or in some interview?and all the time out under the open sky. On the other hand, this life alone in strange lands and among hostile, suspicious peoples is sometimer one of extreme danger and hardship. Let me give, l'rom Mr. Frank Meyer's letters which have recently come in. the picture of an explorer's life in Manchuria and China. For three months he saw no white face save that of an occasional missionary; he war always surrounded by curious and impertinent natives; sleeping in inns that no human be ing should sleep in for the vermin; living on what the people of the country live on; forced to cover great distances on foot, making long and wearisome marches alone late into the night to reach the next inn, only to find it cold and cheerless, with the wind whistling through the torn paper windows; to sleep on a cold brick bedstead or herd with Chinamen of the dirty "coolie" class for warmth. He has known what it is to be mobbed by hundred? of infuriated Chinamen in the streets of an interior city, and to escape only by the exercise of rare diplomacy; and he has been set upon by Siberian ruffians, and has fought for his life with a dirk. But it is not enough to find a new plant in a foreign land and send some seeds of it. to this country. If the plant is an entirely new on2 there will be no one to take care of it, and perhaps no one to see that it is rightly planted. Some one must see that it gets into the hands of the man who wants it and is prepared to grow it. This need has induced the zuv on of the World. I" rc cultural Explorer in Charge | th tion. United States Depart- w : x x pa j to :=r I cr ernraent to build up the Office of Seed and Plant Introduction, where w all the things sent in by explorers are received, and from which they are Al sent out again through the country. w< To this office comes every day f scores of requests from experimenters ^ who want to try seeds or plants a' which the explorers have sect in from abroad, and to this office come In every day from eight to ten shipments of living seeds of plants from the 1)1 most out-of-the-way parts of the world. su To-day arrive a remarkable red . corn from Peru, a collection of wild lt; fodder plants from Palestine, some Chinese dates from Pekin, Chinese litchi fruit from the Island of Honan, a half ton of seed of the native Arabian alfalfa from the mouth of the Tigris, and a big shipment of ^ Egyptian clover seed from Cairo. The -0 requests have come for these things 03 already, and as soon as the seeds are ?e cleaned and the plants are inspected far diseases and pronounced healthy, a. W] they will be sent on their way to the different part? of the country. ^ 1 There are in each State e:cperi- ( ment stations with corps of men who aD are paid to try such things, and to ^ these State stations a great many of the imports go; but not all, for any x man who shows that he is able to vo take care of the new things, and is, in short, an experimenter, is entitled to the government's encouragement al and assistance. he To change the crops of the coun- of try, to encourage the farmer who has th always grown corn to try something sit else when corn fails, is part of the fr< duty of this office. se The Necessary Years. se dr <n ?4 V>a fVt An ?Kf f Vi of 13 U L It Iliuai 11U U UC tuuugav buuii the game of agricultural exploration is quick in getting results. Plants ^ take time to grow, and it takes time to teach people how to grow them. Often half a lifetime may pass before the chosen plant which an explorer predicts will be a great sue- ^ cess has become really a great crop. But where many plants are picked out, there are sure to be some which will reward the explorer early, ^ and others which will give him a very delightful glow of satisfaction in his old age. And 01 there are few pleasures that are more enduring than the ones that come to the man who first introduced ^ a new plant into his country, even if gc the people who are dependent on it ^ for their living have forgotten that he did it. ^ Agricultural exploration is a profession, and although any one may ^ play at it, few have the training to fl engage in it successfully. n More is necessary than merely to pack a bag and board a steamer for ^ somewhere. The explorer must know what his country wants, and he must CQ know this so intimately that when, as some mountainside flashes past the ch car window and his eye catches a ng peach-tree in bloom, and it is late for peaches to bloom, his mind will re- ?r spond with the thought that perhaps ?e this foreign peach may bloom so late nc at home that it will escape the late spring frosts. ex He must know not only the pre-- tr scribed area of iome local region, but dt mast have a general knowledge of all of the important crops of the country er if he would travel in many lands, for th there are few things from Italy that will grow in Maine, and there are not ^ many plants in Sweden which will in do well in Florida. Then, too. there fo are ways to travel that the ordinary tourist does not find out about. The guide-books do not lead one into the unbeaten paths of the explorer, and er the untrained man will not find out quickly which are the promising ones. be He must have a good idea of cliTVlOt-^ Al Vis* 1 1 fUsv Uiaic, V1 ClOU lie "*>111 111 tl IV'J * lie UU111mon mistake of thinking the climatc of Maine ip much like the climate of Ci the Dakotas, or that places in the same latitude must have the same climatic conditions, or that South Afri- . ca, with its perpetual summer, is like California. *m Unless he is a linguist, he will be ^ dependent on those distorters of ^ facts, guides and interpreters, and ^ be led into all kinds of errors; but above all, the greatest obstacle which the would-be explorer meets with is when he actually finds something rg which he wants to send home, and discovers that he does not. know how to get it there. Almost everything has seeds, one would think, but it is surprising how few weeks in the SQ year there are during which one can ^ gather them. And if the visit to this ^ inaccessible region happens to be . just before or just after the seeding time, wnai is ?) oe acme: In some cases it is necessary for f the explorer to retrace his steps; in ^ others a knowledge of how to propa- ^ gate plants solves the problem. A ^ slip, a slender branch, a root, an underground stem, perhaps, will often do quite as well as a seed. It can be , taken at any time, and if properly packed in damp moss or wrapped in ^ good tough wrapping-paper will reach home safely. But above some of these necessary things even, the explorer must know how to use a camera, for the explorer ne has not only to get the plants, import se them, grow them and distribute them m' to ine puone, out ne musv also convince the public that they are worth re growing, or all his work go?s for naught. The way to the mind is pa through the eye and t.h* ear, and as *? the explorer can talk of his discoveries to but few men. he must appeal to a wide range of those interested through the press. ce It is about as difficult to describe a Tt new fruit or vegetable as it is to give l)f; a description of a new sound, and fri the best way to give the fruit-grower th a clear idea of a new fruit is to show 0? him a picture of it. To explore for yi< plant introduction purposes without a camera is a little like hunting for rabbits without a gun. And what of the results of this search in the cor- <P ners of the world? And is the gov- he frnment warranted in goiue on with lit , as a business firm would be In con- i uing the pay of a salesman on tha j ad? If it is worth while ro transform e desert landscapes of the Southest and dot them with young date- ! ilm plantations, if it is worth while j increase the value of the wheat- j op by three millions of dollars i rough the introduction of a wheat | hich will grow farther west on the j y belt of the Great Plains than any ! rcerican wheat could grow, if it is ' arth while to find a hardier alfalfa | hich will not winter-kill in the j srthwest, and another which grows j 1 winter long in the mild weathei ! the Southest and yields the farmer I renty per cent, more hay, it is worth j tiiie to keep up and extend the ex- { orations for new plants. Thousands of plants fail where one i cceeds, but that one success car- j ?s with it such earning power that makes the investment pay. Frank Meyer, the latest explorer the Office of Plant Introduction, is been gone more than three years. | s has entered Manchuria when it ] quired cable dispatches between j ?kin and Tokio to get permission r him to go. He has entered the ! stern edge of Mongolia, and arched through the great fruitowing province of Shantung. He s traveled through the mountainous Ids of northern Korea, and exDred the regions south of Shanghai. 3 has eone ud the lower Yangtze. id by rail to Pekin. He has spent spring in the denuded hills of the u-tai Shan, and he has pushed his plorations as far north as Vladistok. In the Odd Corners of the Earth. On all these trips he has looked ways for new plants. Sometimes ; has found them in the back yard a missionary bungalow; sometimes j ey were on some bleak mountain- j le where wolves and tigers are so j equent that the Chinese guides derted him. Sometimes he has bought eds of a rice-planter in his field of y-land rice, or cucumber seeds of Chinese hothouse-owner, or dug up few plants from the sedge lawn in Dnt of a foreign legation in Pekin. j has picked cones from sacred trees i the tomb of Confucius, and harsted the seed-crop from alfalfa ants which he found growing on e city wall of Liao Yang. He has traveled through miles ol cnaras during tne rruitmg season, id returned in the autumn to get id-sticks from the same trees which s had noted when in full fruit in the mmer. He has eaten delicious melis and saved the seed in paper .ckets. He has spent hours trying convince the owners of a thinelled walnut that to sell a few ions from it would not bewitch its e away. Before two years had passed since r. Meyer's stream of Chinese immiants?who do not come under the elusion act?began to arrive, the | Eice war receiving photographs of ' irsery rows planted with rapidly j owing plants of Chinese walnuts, j linese chestnuts, seedless hardy linese persimmons, hardy wild apri- i ts, broad-leaved Mongolian oaks, | lite-barked pines, early-fruiting i erries, new forms of willows, Chi- j !se date.? like our iuiubes. onlv far ier, Chinese pistachios, Chinese , apes, Chinese peaches and plums, j ars and quinces, and a host of other I >w possibilities for the nurserymen. It is yet too soon to say what this ! ploratioD will be worth to the coun- 1 y, but judging from former introictions, it will pay many hundreds ; times into the pockets of the farmr and fruit-growers the thirteen ! ousand five hundred dollars which j has cost to keep Mr. Meyer foi j ree years at a low salary In these i hospitable regions of the world. As j r the explorer, besides the memory j years of adventure, he will have ! e satisfaction of seeing, perhaps, a j indful of seed increased until it covs great areas of land, or a single id-stick multiplied into orchards of taring trees.?Youth's Companion. THEY NEEDED THE MOON. I istoni of OIil Time Doctors in New j England Town Explained. Up in a New England town there ; a msdical society which is of suty ars' standing and has the custom of eeting on the Thursday before the j 11 of the moon. Recently some ol | e younger members tried to change e time of meeting to the third j ednesday of every month. ThrPfl nf fhp nlripst mfrnhprs rosp ) and protested. They gave the | ason for the peculiar arrangement, j "When this association was | rmed," said one of them, "there j 3re not electric lights and good ads the way there are now. The j ciety took in the whole county and was often a difficult matter for the j ictors who lived in the country to I ive home after nightfall. "So we called the moon to our aid j id set the date for the Thursday be- | re the full of the moon. It is j ight moonlight at a seasonable >ur then and the doctors could see , eir way home. "I know there is no necessity for ! ch an arrangement now, but thi3 ill seem like a new society, if we i not meet the Thursday before the 11 of the moon."?New York Sun. State to Print a Paper. The State of Iowa is going into the iwspaper business. J. C. Simpson, creiary State a'rgicultural departent. will establish a semi-monthly iwspaper to exploit the wealth and sources of Iowa, and the chances r money making in the State. The per is to be known as The Greater wa. Whalebone Becomes Scarcer. Whalebone cost only thirty-five nts a pound half a century ago. >-day it costs about five dollars a J mnd. The total product landed Dm the American fisheries during e nineteenth century exceeded 90, 0,000 pounds. A single whale may eld up 3000 pounds. Has a Right to That. "Man wants but little here below," lotes the philosopher of folly, "but i wants to be allowed to pick that ; tie out for himself." SOUSE !N WHICH J. D ROCKEFELI WAS BORN Jl Built by his father, William Avery Ro Cortland Count Roth Sing and Talk. In view of the success which is obtained by the moving picture apparatus, the idea naturally occurred to use the phonograph in connection with it, so as to hear the voice at the same time that we see the picture. Among such devices is a combined talking and picture-exhibiting machine recently devised and patented by a New York man. At the top is an opening for viewing the pictures, and adjacent thereto, where they will come in contact witn tne ears or me user, are sound tubes. The latter are adjustable to accommodate the many sizes of heads naturally encountered. , In making the pictures for these movI I Pictures and Music Simultaneously. ing pictures that sing and talk the actor takes his position before the camera and his movements are photographed.. Coupled with the moving picture machine is a phonograph. While the latter is repeating the actor's words he goes through the nepessary motions to accompany the words. The moving picture machine thus secures the photographic record of the series of gestures during the whole time that the phonograph Is working. Duplicates of the pictures are then made from the original for use in the penny-in-the-slot machine, the mechanism operating the phono graph in conjunction with the moving of the pictures.?Washington Star. Mission of a Hymn. ( There is no more popular hymn in the English language than Cardinal Newman's "Lead, Kindly Light." It has soothed thousands of hearts beclouded by sorrow, and inspired hope when faith had vanished. A few days ago it once more performed its beautiful task of lifting despair. A disastrous explosion occurred in a mifie near Durham, England, imprisoning 150 miners. One of the thirty-two men recovered from the living tomb was asked how he passed the sixteen hours he was buried in its : darkness. He replied that he and his companions sang a great deal, i Further questioned as to the songs he answered: "Five or six hymns. ' I don't remember them all. There i was 'Lead, Kindly Light.' We sang that a good many times. It helped to i keep our spirits up."?Catholic Tele-r graph. 1 fflJr pwwil Hi | I *iu H?i|. i tErBBIff?i?l BrII by ill sIM THE DAY THAT > Rapid Hedge-Trimmer. . r Among the numerous time and la- j t )or saving devices for gardeners' use j * c ? J -II Oa I v <=* |b It I ' !c ;> i c ! I 11 ho ' |: t Dol'S Work ot' Five. ?he geared hedge-trimmer, invented .s toy a New York man, is one of the a .ERr RICHEST MAN NOW LIViNG, JLY 8,1839. ickefeller, in 1835, at Harford Mills, y, New York. Why the Marquis Paid. The famous surgeon Velpeau was visited one day at his home during the consultation hour by a marquis renowned for his closeness. Velpeau informed the marquis that an operation was urgent and that the fee would amount to 4000 francs. At this the marquis made a face and left. A fortnight later Dr. Velpeau, while making his rounds In the'Hospital de la Charlte, had his attention attracted by a face that seemed familiar to him. In answer to his inquiry it was stated that the patient was a footman of a nobleman in the Fambourg Saint Germain. The surgeon found that his case resembled in every particular the somewhat unusual one for which the marquis had consulted him a fortnight previously. He refrained, however, from making any comments. Three weeks after the operation, when the patient was about to be discharged Dr. Velpeau called him aside and exclaimed: "Monsieur, I am extremely flattered and pleased to have been able to cure you. There is, however, a small formality with which you will have to comply before I can sign your exeat; that is, you will have to sign a check for 10.000 francs in behalf of the public charity bureau of your metropolitan district." The patient's face became livid. "You can do what you like about it," continued the doctor; "but if you refuse all Paris will know to-morrow that the Marquis de D adopted the disguise of a footman in order to secure free treatment at this hospital and to usurp the place which belongs by right to a pauper." Of course the marquis paid.?Cleveland Leader. A House Built For Bees. In the garden of a schoolmaster who lives in a little German town sta'nd the most remarkable beehives in the world. One of these, that rep A Strange Home For Bees. resenting a villa, is shown in the picture. Other hives are in the form Df a castle, a sentry, an inn, a windmill, a lion, a bear and an elephant. The villa, in particular, which the owner calls "Honey Villa," is. built with the greatest care, and can boast 3uch signs of human habitation as window curtains. Two and sometimes three swarms of bees live in it. IEVER ' ^ ' ?From Judge. nost Interesting. With it a hedge hat formerly required Ave hours to rim can be clipped in one hour, or me man can do the work of Ave. This ipparatus consists of a long rod with l shoulder piece at one end and a >alr of shears at the other. Along his rod is a drivewheel connecting vitn a rotary pinion, which operates he crank controlling the shears. The ic? hoM Qtrolnaf th& shftflMpf ItTibO AO UW1U buv w*tw>??v?w. ty means of a handle in the middle, "hen the drivewheel is turned, and iy means of the multiple gearing it ipens and closes the shears five times with each revolution, thus making i he apparatus a saver of eighty per ent. in either time or labor. All the iperator has to do is to keep turning | hf wheel and moving the shears long the hedgerow where it needs lipping.?Washington Star. Field Marshal Lord Roberts, of the iritish Army, celebrated his golden /edding auniversary last month. So iopular is "Bobs" that the event asumed something of the character of ,n imperial festival. *u . . , fij ,>m | NAT UW^SWENCE Britain is at last awakening to the absolute necessity of progress and the highest kind of knowledge. British universities are opening technical colleges rivaling the great German polytechnics. An electric glue heater has been put upon the market which Is claimed to melt glue in thirty minutes, and to keep it at a temperature of 150 desees for several hours after the current has been switched off. An electric heater for thawing explosives is used at the Roosevelt drainage tunnel jn Cripple Creek, Col. It is in succesful operation. The cost of this method of heating is about ten cents for twenty-four hours, and is said to be far more economical thai coal. A hydro-electric power station is projected near Wadesboro, N. C., on the Rocky River, capable of producing, with the initial installation planned, 6000 to 7000 horse power. The site is within a mile of the new j Southbound Railway, and a new town is expected to be developed by the in- | dustrial facilities. "One of the simplest things to rep. man***- ATI a + OfVA TTfAll 1A fVilnlr I i cocin uu iiic uuc nuuiu is daylight," says an Italian named Fortuny in the Theatre Zeitung, "and still its accomplishment has always baffled stage managers. Our daylight does not come from one point, but from all directions, and this light, as from the sky, is what has not yet been produced. The difficulties, however, have been overcome, and on the stage of the new Royal Opera House at Berlin the stage daylight of my invention will be seen when that house is completed. The effect is produced by electric light, mirrors, prisms and silk cloths of various colors, through which the light is made to stream." There could hardly be a better example of the scientific spirit than the recent application of the methods of biometry to those excessive minute | animals, the bacteria. C. E. A. Wins low and Anne Rogers Winslow have, according to Professor F. P. Gorham, marked the beginning of a new era in bacteriological classification and nomenclature by their studies In this direction. They have applied the methods used by authropologists and students of variation and heredity to he definition of the species of bacteria. The results are, of course, technical in their nature, and in themselves' only interesting to students of the subject, but they have a broad general interest because they serve to assure the public that advance on strictly scientific lines is being made in the study of those almost infinitesimal creatures that play so important a part in human life and everything that human life depends upon. BAGGING AT THE KNEE. Men's Trousers Not the Only Garments Thus to Get Out of Shape. "It may have been often printed in the fashion news, but that I never see, and so," said chipper brother Claude, "this is spang fresh news to me, that the skirt of sister's new suit is bagging at the knee. "That men's trousers bag in that way is notorious, in fact baggy trousers have long been a subject for the jokesmith to exercise his wits upon, as they have long been to their wearers a source of grief. No man likes to have his trousers bag at the knee, and there have been told stories of men particular about their apparel who when in their finest attire declined to sit down for fear they'd get their trousers out of shape there, and It certainly is a common thing to see men, on sitting, hitch their trouser legs up a little, to take the bagging strain off the part that commonly comes over the knee and to lessen the bagging. "So men have always had trouble with their trousers in this way, but "that women could have trouble of such sort with their skirts I had never dreamed, for were not skirts so voluminous that their folds could be shifted and arranged at will, to prevent their getting out of shape? Well, it seems that the close fitting skirt of . .ne present day is so scant that it cannot be thus loosely disposed or shifted about, one must sit in it as it is, and thus woman comes to have a new experience and to get some faint glimmer of one of the most trying troubles of men. "It makes me smile to hear sister say to mother that the skirt of her new spring suit has already begun to bag at the knee."?New York Sun. Slpenlv CJrasc of Xpw Mftviro. While making a trip through the southwestern part of New Mexico j Herbert W. Wolcott, of Alamogordo, N\ M., found a grass from which he believes a narcotic may be extracted which will take the place of those now known to medicine. 'The grass is known as 'sleepy j grass' to the natives of New Mexico j near the Apache reservation," said j Mr. Wolcott. "Cattle and horses will | eat it the first time they see it. It j makes them fall to the ground in I their tracks and lie in a stace of coma : for two days. When they wake up ! they have no ill effects from the opi- j ate. But they will never eat it ! again; in> fact, they will run away if ; it is offered to them. "This 'sleepy grsiss" is not to be j confused with the loco weed. The j grass is a real grass, not unlike tho j Kentucky blue grass in appearance. The loco weed is a plant and bears a | flower. Horses and cattle become j loco fiends and are worthless after tasting the deadiy stuff."?Kansas City Star. Plenty Coming. The fond husband was seeing his wife off with the children for their vacation to the country. As she got into the train he said, "But. my dear* won't you take some fiction to road"" "Oh. no!" she responded swee.tly. "I shall depend upon your letters from home."?London Tatler. ' '".-i V r" Iv v. gg| j GENTLE DOCTOR BROWN. It was a gentle sawbones and his name was Doctor Brown. His auto was the terror o' a small suburban town. His practice?quite amazing for so trivial a place? Consisted of the victims of hi* homicidal pace. So' constant was his practire and so high his motor's gear i That at knocking down pedestrians he I never had a peer; | But ?t must, in simple justice, be as truly written down ] Thai no man could be more thoughtful than gentle Doctor Brown. | Whatever was the errand on which Doctor Brown was bent j He'd 6top to patch a victim up and never I charged a cent! i He'd always pause, whoever 'twas he happened to run down: A humane and a thoughtful man was gentle Doctor Brown. | "How fortunate,"" he would observe, "how fortunate 'twas I j That knocked you galley-west and heard your wild and wailing cry. i There are some heartless wretches who I would leave you here alone, '! 1 Without a sympathetic ear to catch your dying moan. j "Such callousness," said Doctor Brown, "I cannot comprehend; To fathom such indifference I simply don't | pretend. One ought to do his duty, and I never am ' remiss. I A simple word of thanks is all I ask. Here, swallow this;" ' Then, reaching in the tonneau, he'd unpack his little kit, And perform an operation that waa Workmanlike nnrl Kfc "You may survive," said Doctor Brown; "it's happened once or twice. If not, you've Bad the benefit of competent advice." Oh, if all our motonnaniacs were equally; humane, How little bitterness there'ji be, or reason to complain! How different our point of view if we were ridden down , By lunatics as thoughtful as gentle Doctor Brown! ?Bert Leston Taylor, in Puck. PITH AND POINT. "1 "How was it he came to grief?" r i' "By being a joy rider."?Baltimore I American. Hoax?"Why do you refer to his fortune as hush money?" Joax?"He : made it in soothing syrup."?Phila| delphla Record. The foolkiller said, and his smile was grim, He liked the diver who couldn't swim, i Riit /if nil f'np ciiva heneflth the fikies. The rocker of boats looked best to bini. ?Philadelphia Ledger. I He (looking up from the paper)? j "I see they have the referendum in j Cleveland." She (alarmed)?"Dear ' me! I hope It isn't catching!"?Baltimore American, / .1 'ATvlfi! i Mrs. Hank?"If you won't do no i work, yer won't git no dinner, and that's all there is to it." "Tell you what I am willing to do. I will give , you a lesson in correct English. Is it ; a go?"?Life. I Highbrow (boastfully) ? "I get twenty cents a word for my stuff. I'm a word painter." Lowbrow (scorn- ' fullv)?"That's nothing. ' I get two i dollars a word for mine. I'm a sign I painter."?Judge. . 0 ! Out in the sun she romped and ran, And then one day we missed her. , Poor girl, she thought th.it she would tan, And found too late she'd blister, j ?-T. J. O'Connell, in New York Times, j "Everybody says that Jones has the finest mind, insight and sagacity j he ever ran across. How did Jones get such a reputation?" "Easy. ?" . ; Whenever you make a statement, he I says, 'By Jove, that's so! Why didn't / I ever think of that before!' "?Cleve, land Leader. { Oatcake?"What be yore son Jake . a-goin' ter dew now that he hez left j college?" Heyrix ? "I dunno yit. He s talkin' some of bein' a doctor, but I've heern tell ez heow thar be a heap uv munny in bankruptcy, so J mebby he'll try that fer a spell."? Chicago Daily News. ** "Working" the Press. I jV Everybody is trying io get something for nothing out of the newspa1 per publishers: The country editor's ' mail is loaded down with offers of j merchandise in exchange for adveri Hain?r anAr.e. The authors of these 1 propositions are in many cases repi utable advertising agents. Others are i well established firms that seek by ; promises of future business on a cash basis to secure publicity at ab| solutely no cost to themselves. Still others are the founders of new con: cerns who desire to build up a successful trade on the generosity or gullibility of the newspaper publishers. The proper way to treat all these trade, or part trade and part cash propositions, says Fourth Estate, is | to decline them in a polite but positive letter. The men who send them i oat are, to use a familiar expression, "fishing for suckers." If you nibble at the bait you are certain to get hooked. Every line of advertising matter should be paid for at regular I rates. This, of course, does not apply to the complimentary notices of regular patrons which are inserted j once or twice a year. The newspaper ! publisher is not in business for his health. If publicity is worth anything to the man who seeks it, it is A- J ? ? '?? A a A/1 if rtr TlfllA , worill iur, auu iuc cvntv-n " i*\s fails to collect what is due him will never get on in the world. One Road to Fame. State Senator Ernest R. Ackerman. of New Jersey, who is now enjoying his annual trip abroad, is one of the best known and most: enthusiastic collectors of postage stamps in this country. So large is his collection that he i has apart one room in his home in Plainfield as a stamp room, so dear to the heart of the philatelist,?New York Tribune. Flowers. i Flowers have an expression of j lountenance as much as men or anii nais: some seem to smile; some have i sad expression; some are pensive md diffident; others, again, are plain, honest and upright like the broad'aced sunflower and the soldier ltk? i (upil.?Henry Ward Beeqher. , , ?