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Iffij > IEW COWARDS lOffill I Noted Hunter Tells of Peri | Victim of Gorilla?Buffalo ( i* The most dangerous hunting ocIcurs when one attempts to capture his lanimal alive Many animals, harmBess and timid under ordinary circumstances, become demons when capItured. The mildest looking antelope [will put up a fierce fight when once lover its first fright; the ostrich will pick a man to pieces, raining its [blows with lightning-like rapidity. I do not know one African animal that [can be called cowardly. i i I was commissioned by a German [naturalist society to capture one of i each species of African quadrumana. : A German professor accompanied me on my expedition, which set forth in a direct line from Dar es Salaam. Arriving at a Belgian army post, a : pygmy prisoner told us where we could find a gorilla, and an hour's travel from the post brought us to the place where the animal made its ; home. Beaters went out in all di- , 1- - Af ' Iirecuons searcniug iui uue gunua. last some deep, wide scratches were found on a cluster or vines. On close examination the unmistakable hair | of the gorilla was found on a broken twig. After some hours we found the tree where the gorilla lived. We could tell it by the greasy appearance of the bark, made so by the repeated rubbing of the gorilla's body. We could tell by the fresh marks, with eap still wet, that the animal had recently ascended the tree. The scratches were short and deep, showing that it had lifted itself up and did not slide down, which would have made a long, shallow scratch. We spread a strong net around the tree in a circle sloping upward on the outer side. Around the top there were drawn ropes from four directions held by half a dozen natives hidden in the bush. These were to bring the top of the net together and IDUB UiitJ uur game. After waiting some hours the leaves above rustled and then opened, as a six foot male gorilla descended unsuspectingly and entered the trap, t signalled, the four ropes were pulled at once, and we had our animal?for a moment. He roared in fury, twisting, jumping and biting the rope into pieces. The natives were pulled about like dolls as he tried to reach first one and then another. The professor jumped about\ in excitement, trying to focus a camera on the infuriated animal. At last the mighty arms of the gorilla broke a hole through the net, and he tore the rest from him as though it were a rotten rag. Most of tut) Udlivco lieu ill uiouia*. xuc fessor dropped his camera and tried to escape; in a moment the gorilla eeized him in its terrible hands. . I seized my rifle and fired in the air to frighten the animal. In my position I could not shoot at him without hitting my friend. For a moment the gorilla stood still, holding the now unconscious man as though he were a baby, the brute's lips drawn back from his glistening teeth. I thrust another cartridge in my rifle. As I did so there was a buzz in the air, and an arrow, shot by a native, pierced the gorilla's side. A roar burst from his red throat and he dropped his victim. Like a flash, before I could shoot, a native sprang from the leaves and, half throwing, half thrusting, drove an assagai into the gorilla's heart. With a groan the brute fell dead. Examining the professor, I found that his right arm was broken and that some of his ribs were crushed 1 ntViic Inn ere Wa o-qvo nn f Vi q offnrf lUbV UiJ lUU^g. M V t)U ? v, up wu^ tuui w to get a live gorilla, and, placing the e Injured man in a hammock, carried j him back toward the East Coast. He j died on the road. j On Trail of a Lion. One day, just as the blue haze of 1 morning was lifting from the forest, 1 I saw a flock of vultures sailing in 1 the air and swooping from time to j time. I knew there was dead meat j somewhere near. I started out in search. In a quarter of an hour, right under where the vultures were circling, I heard the crunching of 1 bones in a clump of rocks half hidden 5 in the high grass. There was that ' unmistakable sound of some large 1 animal eating and tearing flesh. 1 After maneuvring for some time I : came across a wide trail of crushed, ] blood stained grass, showing that some large animal must have been ' dragged. No animal but a lion could ; drag a body big enough to make such a large trail. Cautiously approaching the rocks, I heard the animal's satisfied growls and saw the ravenous vultures, hook beaked and hungry eyed, perched on ? the points of vantage, awaiting their 1 chance to swoop down. I had to be careful, for if the vultures gave the danger signal, all chance of getting the game would be lost. After crawling a few yards further I got a peep between the rocks. Lying down, with two cubs suckling, was a beautiful lioness, chewing at the rump of an impala antelope. I hated to shoot, but I was a hunter, and there was nothing else to do. Although I could see the lioness in a general way, it was a particularly hard shot, as there wprp manv thorn hushes anri ctnnoc In my road. The vultures were getting uneasy. I moved, and they all rose with a heavy flapping of wings. The lioness, startled, startled, sprang to the top of the rocks, the cubs following. It was so sudden that I fired without taking aim and missed the mother, but wounded a cub. The other cub made off in the bush, the lioness fol4owing. I was in a bad temper through disappointment, and drew my knife *o cut the throat of the wounded pub, which was whining in pain. As I put my hand down to make the thrust It licked me with its little hot tongue md a pleading look filled its soft eyes. Ct was too much like killing a baby. I slipped my knife back into its sheat. It was a harmless little fluffy aall, a kitten, and I picked it up and pitted it. I was carrying it back to :he camp when I heard a noise behind Be. I looked back and saw the oiother slip into the undergrowth. I .anew then that there was going to k MLS OF MICA *. Is of Jungle?German Professor low, Defending Calf, Kills Leopard be trouble. Two or three times around the camp that day the yellow form of the lioness was seen flitting across partly exposed places in the bush. I washed the cub's wound and put some healing preparation from my medicine chest on it. That night I gave the sentries warning of possible dan<rar and took my little captive into my tent and tied it to my stretcher. I drowsed off to sleep watching the shadow of the sentry on the tent as he pasaed between it and the fire. A Rude Awakening. Suddenly a jerk at my stretcher awoke me. Instinctively placing my hand on my Luger pistol, I opened my eyes, expecting, it anything, to see the guard. My heart almost stopped. To move meant destruction, for there, on three legs, with an angry snarl and one paw raised to strike, was the lioness in the half light that the dying camp fire threw through .the flaps of the tent. My brains were of no use to me, for they ceased to work. In silent fear, almost paralyzed, I lay. The lioness grabbed its cub and gave a :ug. The cord that held it snapped, jverturning my stretcher. She turned ind bounded through the door, carrying her precious offspring. A shot shattered the silence of the night. I ?? ond anw the Cliard ! sprang LU LUJ iccv auu .. 0 ( standing over the quivering form of :he faithful lioness, still holding her jeloved cub in her mouth. She was lead. It seemed a pity to kill this mothery beast, but it was too late to be iorry. How she ever passed the juard baffles me. A few days aftervard while one of the shikarees (naive hunters) was stalking antelope or food, he came across a weak little :ub that was evidently dying of starvation. He brought it to the camp, t was so like the one I had wounded, ;"nat I have no doubt it was the other :ub of the lioness the guard shot. We aised the cubs "on the bottle." On another occasion we were ;amped on a stretch or veia near me Cafu River. A number of mules that ve used for transportation purposes vere in a kraal some distance from he camp. About midnight, when the vhole camp, with the exception of he guards, was asleep, a wild icreech, followed by the unmistaka)le roar of a lion, came from the diection of the mules. We were too amiliar with the sounds not to know vhat was happeneing. Seizing my rifle and rushing from ny tent, I made straight for the noise, jreparing for emergencies as I did ;o. A half dozen natives were beside ne. We were half way to the kraal vhen a couple of shots sounded from he direction of the guards, and the text instant the huge bulk of a lion :ame in leaps and bounds toward us. Vs soon as he saw us coming he urned at right angles and made for he bush. As he did so I raised my ifle and emptied the magazine at his orm, which was soon lost in the ilackness of the night. Notwithstandng that my shots were fired only as uck shots, I could tell that I had it least wounded the animal by a low ;rowl of pain that escaped him. The next morning before daybreak ve resumed the search for the lion. Vs the first signs of dawn broke hrough the east we came on the ion's bloodstained spoor. We fol owed it lur leu uimuies, lucu il ica nto the open veld. There, illumined by the first light ihafts the sun shot through the hills, ay the lion, stretched out at full ength. Beside him sat a huge blond ioness licking a wound in his back. My first impulse was to drop on my mees and shoot. But something in ny heart revolted. It was so pa:hetic, this lioness so like a woman; jhe seemed a civilized being and I a savage. In Defense of Her Mate. We advanced, and the lioness, seeing us for the first time, sprang up ind defiantly approached a few yards, tier tail whipping the air. She returned to the lion and stood over him, ind then, as though deciding to fight. made a mighty leap toward me. I raised my rifle and pulled the trigger, rhere was no explosion. I pulled back my rifle bolt to thrust a cartridge into the barrel, when I saw that the magazine was not loaded. Trusting to fate and my legs, I dropped my useless weapon and ran for the nearest tree, the lioness gaining on me in leaps and bounds. I had no.t succeeded in reaching the tree when a shikaree broke through the bush in the distance and opened fire with an automatic rifle, driving a couple of bullets into the lioness' back. She A TRADE VE Industrial Training a Means of R There Is no sovereign remedy or, prevention for crime, but modern experience proves that industrial train ing is a splendidly effective means of reformation. At the Elmira Reformatory the prisoners are informed that that it is "up to them" to get out. Their freedom can only be gained by good Denavior ana auigeni application to the learning of a trade. A sufficiently varied list to suit all tastes is offered. A writer in the Outlook describes how the system works. On a Sunday morning a dozen or so new arrivals were occupying the "mourners' bench," just without the offices of the superintendent, awaiting the interview which must precede their actually being admitted to the prison routine. One of the number was a dwarf, scarcely higher than a six-year-old child. His biography stated that he was twenty-nine years of age. but he looked much older, although, judging from the vacant expression of his face, his mental forces were nearly as dwarfed as his bofiy. With two bookkeepers I was watch I ? dropped without a groan. Had shikaree missed or used a sloi working rifle I no doubt would h been chewed, if not killed. After getting my breath I ex< ined the lion we had started out get. He was not dead. I found had been shot through the rui His hind quarters were paralyzed, \ he had dragged himself with his fc paws at least a mile. He rolled eyes helplessly as we looked him ot Not a murmur came from him. seemed to wait in silence, like Roman, for the death stroke. ( shot put him out of his misery. On one occasion I had the good 1 tune to witness a scene, in whicl leopard was the chief actor, that ' an indelible picture in the gallery my memory. I was hunting one day, with shikaree, for food. We were uns cessful in getting a shot on the v and so decided to wait at a i (water hole) till the game came drink. A second or two later the br< horns of a buffalo bull sho\ through the leaves and then cam cow with a calf. They came to water and drank. I did not shoot, I wanted one of the smaller antelor AH at once, like an arrow fr the treo above, shot the form o leopard on to the back of a buff calf. In a flash there was a w stampede. All ran but the buff cow, the mother of the calf. W1 the calf was struck it fell either d< or unconscious, and the snarling le ard stood over its prey for a seco Then the cow charged and hur the marauder from her prostr young. A fight commenced earnest. The leopard sprang to its feet i in an instant was on the back of "" TTT54.U e\ rri TT r\f Q WfOCt UOW. VV iLIi LUC agliil; V.1 V* .. . ... she fell and rolled over her aggress arising to her feet again in a fla Before the leopard could spring i rushed at him with a bellow lik< fog horn, struck him full on i tossed him into the water. In a r ment the leopard was on the bs again. It sprang at the cow's thrc but missed as she dodged asi Again the leopard sprang. The c fell back, lifted her head and cau] it full underneath, her horn peneti ing the leopard's body. The leop; roared with pain as it fell to ground, bleeding freely from the d ble wound, and the cow was cove with gashes from its antagoni! claws. The leopard sprang again on back of the cow, but she easily she him off. He stood for a moment i then tried to stagger away. The b falo made a rush, and, hurling I to the ground, thrust her horns i his helpless body. He offered resistance, but rolled over on his s and died. The buffalo sniffed the dead b< for a few minutes, then, satisfied w her work, went to her dead calf ? licked it, mooing in pathetic angui I admired that cow too much shoot it. My shikaree set up a and I fired a shot to scare her aw We went over and found the leopar skin too badly mutilated to be of i value. The calf was served that nl; with curry and rice.?Captain Fi Duquesne, in Hampton's Magazine %3kcC ' The legislative period of a Gern Reichstag is five year^ in duration Zululand has an indigenous rub plant which yields an article of cellent quality. i Last year's purchases of ties by country's railroads were only t thirds as large as those of 1907. It is said that in the last five ye the membership of temperance si eties in Germany has more tl doubled. Among the 6,000,000 work women in this country there are nt ly a million widows and nearly 8( 000 married women whose husba have failed to provide for th< Nearly 100,000 divorced women among the wage earners. Silk and mixed cotton and silk dustries in France are said to emp altogether upwards of half a mill workers. Whalebone cost only thirtycents a pound half a century ago. day it costs about $5 a pound. r total product landed from the An ican fisheries during the ninetee century exceeded 95,000,000 pour A single whale may yield up to 3< ; pounds. RSUS CRIME. Splendidly Effects eformation. ing furtively the actions of this tremely repulsive-looking prisoi when one of the clerks, by way comment backed by a desire to h the prodigy speak, asked him: "What trade are you going learn?" "Who, me?" drawled the m with a fearful Hebrew accent, dakes up shuspenders an' collar b dons." He had no idea of the reason the explosive mirth which his dec ation provoked; and as with him, it was with many others. T vaguely understood that they wo learn something at which the do might be made, but that was all, cept that they naturally connected idea with what they knew of busir where they came from. The little Hebrew, the extent whose business had rested in ass ing his brother to make sales froi push-cart, had been committed assaulting one of his competiti To-day he is a peaceful enough ta and clothing-cutter, his earnings eraging five dollars a day the j round. j THE BIRTHPLACE OF CRICKET ave | """""""""" ] I A granite monolith was recently im- i unveiled at Hambledon, a little vil- 0ti to j lage in Hampshire, to mark the ac- seq he i tual birthplace of English cricket. ap] up. ! The Hambledon men invented cricket ind ! a century and a half ago, and in cele- th >re- j bration of their exploit a Hambledon Ha his ' team has been playing All England. me ;er, Twelve famous cricketers from the He ' All England team came down to play i a i and to witness the unveiling of the )ne ! monolith, an event scheduled to be I brought off by Dr. W. G. Grace, the or- dean of English cricketers. Time i a 1 passed, but the doctor did not appear, ] ; 1?i ?liiiMi)Wiri led ! ate The Granlfco Monolith Erected at Hamble in place of English Cricket? Old Bat and E md the i and at midday a telegram was re- bla ler ! ceived saying that he would shortly ces lor. j arrive on the train. The train drew up< stl- j in, and a burly, bearded man was seen in 3he ; at the window of a first-class carriage, foi 3 a ; "Dr. Grace!" cried a delighted por- Fr< ind , ter, waving his hand as a welcome to n?- Hambledon Festival. ink j The bearded, broad-shouldered ? at, j man cheerfully waved his hand in ^ai de. | recognition of the salute and alight- we >ow ! ed. His ticket was taken by an obse- pie Sht quious and highly gratified collector, 'at- i All the cabs and carriages were at i I it- l-t i -1 T1V _ j nit: uncnet gi uuuu. j. uc wuij icui^ig the | in the yard was waiting for a wellou ! known hunting man. red j He heard the cries, "Grace Is here," st's i and then "There he is," and at once j placed his carriage at the disposal of the . the distinguished arrival, and in com>ok i pany with a photographer, who w"as md j waiting for a chance to snap the great uf- j cricketer, drove him to Broad Halfiim ! penny Down. nto ! Hambledon village was a-flutter no ! with flags and bunting in honor of the ide : famous match and as the carriage i passed the word spread that Dr. 3dy | Grace was the smiling gentleman ith ! with the enormous beard. md i Each time cricket was mentioned, ish. ! however, the "Doctor," with great roc to. j modesty, switched off the conversa- or cry ! tion suddenly. He talked of fishing, att ay. shooting?anything but cricket or d's j himself. iny i When Broad Halfpenny Down was j ght j reached the driver hurried down to Soi itz i inform Mr. C. B. Fry, tne captain or to | the Hambledon team, that Dr. Grace ] ! had arrived. The moment Mr. Fry Yo ^ 1 saw the newcomer, however, his eyes yo\ Tj | j^gjggimaBiaai ta ! Cissy?"What makes Jimmy howl 1 1 Tommy?"You'd make a noise, too, j strings."?Sketch. ex- ' ler New Hedge Trimmer. me of Hedge trimming has been made c"| ear easy by the ingenuity of an Oregon w man, who ha3 devised a machine that co* SGi to | will cut as many branches as a dozen sai lan. 'I 1 ha: ..j i ma ud" I ? for ! S 'ej I ^ - Inkled. It was not Dr. Grace at , but his double. [t was discovered later that Dr. W. Grace could not come, owing to ler engagements. The double sub[uently wrote a humorous letter ol ?reciation to the London press. The granite memorial, which faces s old Bat and Ball Inn, where the mbledon cricketers have always t, bears the inscription: This Marks the Site of the Ground of the Hambledon Cricket Club. Circa 1750?1787. Famous cricketers in flannels, _ don, England, to Mark the BirthOn the Left is the tall Inn. zers and caps passed In silent prosion round the base of the tablet, Dn the occasiou of its unveiling, silent homage to the obscure tnder of the illustrious game.-^am Harper's Weekly. House Candlestick in Brass, rhe subject of the drawing is a adsome ornament, large and lghty, intended as a stationary ce on shelf or mantel; it is toe A I ivy to be carried about as a bed II?t.i Ti I * K?n fie mi liguu 11 uumua IU CHIACA UIooc red lacquer. The match box is ached to the side.?Vogue. Meant For Encouragement. Artist?"Yes, I keep pegging away, netimes I get discouraged and say myself, 'What's the use?' " Friend?"Don't give up, old man. u can't do worse than you've done, i know."?Judge. SITERIOR. ike that?" if you were as full of fiddle n working by hand at once; will : them straight and will cut them :hout any difficulty. The machine isists of a large number of teeth in a row and all operated by the ne shaft, which is turned by a (idle. Their effect is that of so ny pairs of shears working in the ne line side by side. The device is tened to the^ operator's body by a rness so that it -sets firmly, and ile he guides the knives with his t hand he turns the crank that ins and closes them. Naturally, s machine has much more power in there is in a man's hands, and it * ? 1 ?11 mcties tnrougn uraucues ui an es. At the same time cutting a 3e swath, as it does, it can be guidso that the work is done, in much :ter style than is possible when a gle pair of shears is used. An Impending Calamity. Miss Smith?"You must remem that children have their uses, if ly to perpetuate your name. Now, en I die, I'm afraid the name of ilth will die with me."?Sketch. 1 ? LJ ousehoId ? ;, A Safe Plan. 1 i i ( 1 To mark bottles or boxes of poison ! and prevent accidents, buy a dozen " (or ag many as needed) tiny bells, c $nd every time a bottle or package of u poison comes Into the bouse fasten a J 1 bell securely to It. Even In the dark j the bell will sound Its warning. The bells can be bought In a fancy work j or toy store.?Boston Post. 4( To Wash White Veils. I I Take lukewarm water and any , ; good laundered soap; put veil in wat' er and sop gently between the hands; i I then rinse in clear warm water; hang j veil over drier and press when dry j j with Iron not too hot. Do not wring s out veil, but squeeze out the water I ; and then shake the veiling out before { ; banging up to dry.?Boston Post. The Creeping Babe. ( A very Ingenious mother has lately : discovered a way for her creeping i baby to get about easily and at the [same time keep clean. The baby is ; placed in a shiny new tin pie plate? i that Is, is seated upon it. In this lit- \ tie boat the young seaman Is able to steer his craft over rugs and in and out of chairs without coming to harm or in any way doing damage to the 1 j things with which he comes in conI tact.?Newark Call. 1 I ! ! Turkish Baths at Home. 1 The problem of a Turkish bath at home has been;solved by a clever girl | who wished to take them regularly ] and could not afford to go to a regu- I , , lar establishment. Her equipment , for the bath consists of three large | i lamps and the family bathtub. The ( fact that the bathroom is a small one , ! aUo lion In o?o+HnC tho pffopt r?f hpat I j desired, but a compartment of ordi! nary dimensions may be similarly , adapted if more lamps and longer , , , time are given to the preliminaries. , ' j The most important part of the home j i arrangement consists in getting the room hot, and this the girl finds easier to accomplish in winter, when the \ steam is on, than in suAamer, wheD she has only the lamps "to produce heat at ninety degrees. Using a steamer chair, quite as in ' professional baths, she swathes her- 1 self in a sheet, and with her back to 1 the light, stays there for half an hour, 1 during which time she gets into a profuse perspiration. A jug of Ice i I water keeps its coolness a sufficient i length of time lor ner to nave one or two refreshing drinks, which also in- I creases the throwing off of perspiration. A cold cloth on her head prevents any sensation of faintness. At the end of half an hour, a tima i that is marked by a clock, the girl i i stands on a bath mat before a basin of water, and with a good bath brush | and plenty of good soap scrubs hex < entire body. Then, as well as she , can, she kneads and massages her j I body, the process taking ten minutes . or more. The lamps are burning during this time, so that the heat oi the room is maintained. 1 ( After the scrub she draws tne tuc full of warm water and gets into it for a rinse. Then, letting off the water, she rubs down with coarse . salt, this being done before using . bath towels. After frictioning with , salt, which is strengthening, she has , another rub with Turkish towels, , puts on a thin flannel gown and goes j to bed, getting between the sheets. Her room is darkened, and she gives half an hour to relaxing and resting, ] At the end of that time she gets up, j rubs herself with alcohol and dresses, , feeling fresh and invigorated. The treatment is having a decidedly bene- , flcial effect upon her complexion, clearing and freshening it. The bath is not one that should be ' taken by any person having any heart ' weakness.?Washington Star. Poverty Cako.?Take one pint; ol ( ; rye flour and one of Indian meal. ' j Beat into the mixture tv/o eggs, a ' ! half cup of molasses, into which has ' I been thoroughly stirred a reaspoon ' i of soda, a little salt and a cup of milk. 1 I Have the mixture stiff enough to ' drop with a spoon into boiling lard. * Raspberry Bavarian Cream.?Dis- j solve one and one-half tablespoonfuls , of powdered gelatine In one cupful ] boiling water, add one quart red rasp- j berries rubbed through a sieve, one j j cupful sugar and one cupful whipped , f cream. Pour into a wet mold. Turn j ( out, garnish with whipped sweetened j ( | cream and ripe raspberries, j Marshmallow Candy.?Three cups j ] I of light brown sugar, one-half cup i , milk. Boil slowly, but do not stir, j ( Boil until it forms a soft ball in cold j | ' water. Remove from tho fire and I , 1 beat in one-half pound marshmallows | ! and one cup of coarsely chopped Eng- j lish walnuts. Beat until thick and ! creamy and spread in buttered tin. ( Newport Cakes For Tea.?Take a pint and a half of flour, a half cup of t sugar, a halt cup 01 ouiter uuu ? v.ulJ ' of milk. Having mingled with the I flour two heaping teaspoons of baking powder, add theother ingredients, i 1 into which have been stirred two i eggs beaten light. Rake in tins for 1 twenty minutes. This recipe is the t American substitute for the Scotch f scones used at afternoon tea abroad, t Cheese Souflle.?Take a half pound 1 of soft cheese, a quarter of pound of ' bread crumbs, two ounces vif butter ( and three eggs. Warm a cup of milk * and pour it over the bread crumbs, cheese and butter. When cocl add I the eggs that have beer, thoroughly beaten and put in a baking dish to bake. Put in the small individual 1 earthen baking dishes; che?se souflle makes an attractive course at luncheon. ; I 1 ' w MA AND PA? I wish I had a lot o' cash," J?"' Sez Pa one winter night; I'd go down South and stav a while Where days are warm and Bright." le eat an' watched the fire die (Seemed lost in thoughtful daze), 'ill Ma brought in some fresh pine knot? An' made a cheerful blaze. ' M I wish I had a million shares 0' stock in Standard Oil," lez Pa; "I wouldn't do a thing." Ma made the kettle boil, Ln' mixed hot biscuits, fried some ham An' eggs (smelt good, you bet), ''etched cheese an doughnuts, made the Then?ta set down an' et! . V I wish I was a millionaire." Sez Pa; "I'd have a snap." sext from the lounge we hear a snore, Pa?at his ev'nin' nap. kla did the dishes, shook the cloth,. Brushed up, put things away, ^n' fed the cat, then started up Her plans for bakin' day. she washed and put some beans to soak, An' set some bread to rise: Jnstrung dried apples, soaked 'em, too, All read^ for her pies; jilts orougni. more woou, pui oui inc cat, Then darned four pair o' socks; 3a woke up, an' sez, "It's time for bed; Ma, have you wound both clocks?" ?Mary F. K. Hutchinson. Opportunities are like fi3h. The biggest get away.?Puck. First Sportsman?"Did that 'orse win yer put yer mon6y on?" Second 3portsman?"No, 'e was pinched fer v loiterin'."?Punch. Aunt Eliza?"Is your mother in, Willie?" Willie?"Sure she's in. n'vpr s'nnnp T'H h? wnrfcln* hflrfi In the garden if she was out?"?Puck. "I never knew what an aimless life policemen led," said the Philosopher r sf Folly, "till I saw one shooting at, a log the other day." ? Cleveland Leader. Staylaight ? "Oh, Miss Wobbins, may I come to see you again?" Miss Wobbins?"Well, I cannot see how ^ rou can very well, unless you go this #3 :ime!"?Life. rhe hen will set and the hen will lay, And the hen will roost up high; , "*' But one good thing we can say of her? The hen will never lie. ?Yonkers Statesman. "I must Bay he was very businesslike with his proposal.." "As to how, my dear?" "Told me to consider myself engaged."?Louisville Courier Journal. "I can't understand why Brown should have failed." "Nor can I. I % ilwaya thought he was doing finely.' He often came to me for advice."? Detroit Free Press. , ' Mrs. Craw?"Where are you going this summer for a rest?" Mrs. Crab ?"A friend of mine told me of a lovely place where they do nothing but play golf all day and bridge all aight."?Judge. "1 always had a high opinion of Mr. Roosevelt," said Mrs. Lapsllng, 'until he went to Africa to kill ani mals. I don't like that one bit, even If he does call himself a fawning nataralist!"?Chicago Tribune. _ ' -ome out and see the sea-horse race and k hear the catfish mew; Z!ome hear the swordfish give an order for a dress review. ?Blanche E. Wade, in Youth's Companion. / "It's no disgrace to fail If you have 3one your best," said the philosopher. "That may be so," replied the man jirho had failed. "But it's pretty tough to have to admit that the best pou could do was fail."?Detroit Free Press. Native?"Over there, by the trees, Is where the great poet, Holmes Whitfellow, was born." His Fare? "Where? I don't see any dwelling." Native?"Oh, it ain't there now. He was born in a portable house!"? Puck. Mrs. Jonah Q. Perks (on her first risit to Paris?addressing Maitre fl'Hotel)?"Say?er?Gassong, oo ay le dining room?" Maitre d'Hotel? "First floor on the right, madam." Mrs. J. Q. P. (with relief)?"Ob! You speak English?"?Punch. HOW CHINESE LIKE THEIR EGGS. Prepared With Aromatic Herbs in ' Slaked Lime. Dr. Malegnon, who has dwelt long [n China, gives some curious details af the food of the Chinese. This is what he says of the "Sons of Heaven" md the way they eat eggs: "The Chinese are great eaters of sggs, which they take hard boiled. Dne finds them in all the roadside places for refreshment. The Celes:ials have an expression: 'Eggs of a mmiroH years-.' The eggs are not al ;vays a century old, but you are able ;o get them of many years' standing. "The Celestials have a preference ;or the egg of the duck or goose. They ire placed with aromatic herbs in ilaked lime for a period more or less ong, the minimum time of treatment jelng five or six weeks. Under the iniuence of time the yolk liquefies and :akes a dark green color. The white :oagulates and becomes green. "The product of thfr eggs which las a strong odor, from which a rtranger betakes himself quickly, the Chinese eat as hors d'oeuvre, and it s said to have the taste of lobster." ?Revue d'Hygiene. His Order. "Does your husband belong to any lubs, Mrs. Dubbley?" "None but the knights of the Mysic Stairway." "Tne Mystic stairway f 1 ucvci leard of that order." "You're lucky. The members art )ledged to assist the brother who leeds help to reach home and to carry unntntna oH th OV 5?T*P LilJl upoiau o, - ? .0 trust themselves ou stairs that ;o round and round, and after that to :ry to make his wife believe that he vas seized with sudden illness and hat they had administered an overlose of brandy or something of the wind for the purpose of reviving him." ?Chicago Record-Herald. His Had Break. "Oh, yes, I saw the man in the noon when I was a little girl," she ;aid. coquettishly. "He must be pretty old by now, lon't you think?" he remarked, ;houghtlessly.-?Yoiikers Statesman. " $ ??