The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, June 23, 1909, Image 6
All That Saved Them. |
Iviud Lady?"So you are a sailor?"
The Hobo?"Yes, ma'am. Las'
winter me an' ten udder fellers wuz \
shipwrecked on a barren island, an'
all our grub lorst."
Kind Lady?"And how long did :
you remain there?"
The Hobo?"T'ree months, lady."
Kind Lady?"But how did you j
manage to keep alive if all your pro- j
visions were lost?"
The Hobo?"De ship turned turtle, j
ma'am, an' we lived on turtle soup.
See?"?Chicago News.
Wonderful.
We passed, in the course of an
hour, two dead cows and more than
fifty dead chickens. A strong smell j
of petrol pervaded the atmosphere
and there were wheel tracks in the !
dust.
Sherlock Holmes became greatly j
mieresieu.
"Watson,"exclaimed he, after deep |
thought, "there has been a motor j
along here."?Kansas City Inde- j
pendent.
Explained.
Mary Jane?"What makes you so
black, Tilda?"
Tilda?"You'd be black, too, if you j
war born at midnight, in a dark room, |
and had a black fadder and a black |
mammy!"?Puck.
CONFESSIONS OF A CLOWN. j
At Last, There is on Sale a Book |
Brimful of American Humor. j
Any bookseller will tell you that | i
the constant quest of his customers j i
is for "a book which will make me i i
laugh." The bookman is compelled | ]
to reply that the race of American I
humorists has run out and comic lit- i
erature is scarcer than funny plays.
A wide sale i3 therefore predicted for
the "Memoirs of Dan Rice," the j
Clown of Our Daddies, written by (
Maria Ward Brown, a book guar- I
anteed to make you roar with laugh- j
ter. The author presents to the pub- 1
lie a volume of the great jester's
most pungent Jokes, comic harangues,
caustic hits upon men and manners, ! 1
lectures, anecdotes, sketches of ad- j J
venture, original songs and poetical ,
effusions; wise and witty, serious, i I
satirical, and sentimental sayings of ! i
the sawdust arena of other days.
Old Dan Rice, as proprietor of the ;
famous "One Horse Show," was more ]
of a national character than Artemus
Ward, and this volume contains the |
humor which made the nation laugh
even while the great Civil War raged. , ]
This fascinating book of 500 pages, j .
beautifully illustrated, will be sent | j
postpaid to you for $1.50. Address '
Book Publishing House, 134 Leonard j
street, New York City. I j
The Spiritual Line. 1
A good story is told of a very
sedate doctor of divinity. When re- i
turning by train from a church con- [ *
gress, a fellow passenger undertook '
to draw him into conversation, and so
far succeeded that the reverend gen- i
tleman asked him to what profession
he happened to belong.
"Oh," said this layman, cheerfully,
"I'm in the cotton line."
"Oh, indeed!'' replied the clergyman,
urbanely; "there is a good deal
of business going on in that branch j
just now, I understand."
"First class," said the layman with |
a cunning smile. "And may I ask
what is your line?"
"I," said the clergyman patronizingly
with the nearest approach to a
joke he was ever known to perpetrate,
"I am in the spiritual line."
"Blest if I didn't think so," exclaimed
his companion knowingly; j
and putting one hand on the doctor's j
knee, he leaned forward eagerly and j
added, with an indescribable wink, !
"but I say. what a price you have got i
gin up to!"?Tit-Bits.
Spare the Horses.
A cavalry sergeant had endured ; j
the stuDiditv of a recruit for manv
days. One day the "rookie" was thus 1
greeted when he had violated the ser- (
geant's orders: J ]
"Don't ever come at the horses \
from behind without speakin' to j
them!" exclaimed the sergeant. !
"They'll be kicking that thick head ! <
of yours! Then the first thing you |
know there'll be a lot of lame horsea ; ;
In til's squadron."?Illustrated Bits. ! (
i <
OVER THE FENCE j j
Neighbor Says Something.
! i
The front yard fence is a famous >
council place on pleasant days. May- :
be to chat with some one along the j |
street, or for friendly gossip with j \
next door neighbor. Sometimes it is j
only small talk, but other times i
neighbor has something really good >
to offer. i
An old resident of Baird, Texas, <
got some mighty good advice this <
way once.
He says: i
"Drinking coffee left me nearly \
dead with dyspepsia, kidney disease j ;
and bowel trouble, with constant '
pains in my stomach, back and side, j ;
and so weak I could scarcely walk.
"One day I was chatting with one !
of my neighbors aLout my trouble
and told her I believed coffee hurt |
me. Neighbor said she knew lots of
people to whom coffee was poison
and she pleaded with me to quit it
and give Postum a trial. I did not i
take her advice right away, but tried
a change of climate, which did not do
me any good. Then I dropped coffee |
and took up Postum.
"My improvement began Immediately
and I got better every day I <
used Postum.
"My bowels became regular and in
two weeks all my pains were gone.
Now I am well and strong and can
sat anything I want to without distress.
All of this is due to my having
quit coffee, and to the use of
Postum regularly.
"My son, who wan troubled with
Indigestion, thought that if Postum
helped me so, it might help him. It (
did, too, and he is now well and !
strong again. I
"\\e like Postum as well as we
ever liked the coffee and use it altogether
in ray family in place of coffee
and all keep well." "There's a Rea- '
son." Read "The Road to Well- I
ville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.
A LOVER'S EXVlT
T envy ever., flower that blows
Beside the pathway where she goes,
And every bird that sings to her,
And every breeze that brings to her
The fragrance of the rose.
I envy every poet's rhyme
That moves her heart" at eventiuie,
And every tree that wears for her
Its brightest bloom, and bears fov her
The iruitage of its prime.
I envy every Southern night
That paves her path with adoonbeams
white,
And silvers all the leaves for her,
And in their shadow weaves for her
A dream of dear delight.
I envv none whose love requires
Of her a gift, a task that tires;
I only long to live to her,
I only ask to give to her
All that her heart desires.
?Henry Van Dyke, in The Century.
j| Domestic Finesse. j|
tTOTOTUTOOTUUUUlJUUtrcr
She was the spoiled and only child
of a doting mother. As Barklow's
best man at the wedding, I enjoyed
many of his confidences about Miss
Somers before he married her. He
was deeply in love, but knew that she
was a speculation; as risky as she
vras fascinating.
Their differences, so far as I knew,
began two or three weeks before the (
wedding day. He wished to spend
the honeymoon in Devonshire, and
she at Windemere. I said I was astonished
that he could argue such a
point with his bride, especially as she
was so fond of the lake district. At
the railway station, just before they
started, I again mentioned the matter.
"Sorry you're not going to Torauav,"
I said, playfully.
"That's all right," said he. "That's
juite an rignx, Deiween ouisbivcs.
Then, with a smile, he joined his
wife in the train, and I was left wondering,
moderately, why it should be
right "between ourselves."
Soon after their return from the
lakes'I dined with them, and obtained
i little more food for thought.
"Mr. Reyson," said Mrs. Barklow,
apropos of nothing, "isn't it ridiculous
of Jim to want a cat?"
I looked at Barklow for informa:ion.
"Isn't it unreasonable of my wife,
Reyson, to conceive such a sudden
aversion to cats?" said he, smiling
serenely.
"Surely, Mrs. Barklow," I said, "I
emember a beautiful Persian and
:wo or three more cats at Heathside
Souse"?her mother's residence.
"That has nothing to do with it,"
etorted Mrs. Barklow, with an adorible
toss of the head. "I shan't have
)ne here, not even to please Jim."
Barklow sighed as if he were al
eady used to matrimonial afflictions.
"My only worry," he said, "is to
snow which I like best, Persian or
jlain."
"It's his fun, Mrs. Barklow," I
;aid. "You don't know him as I do."
I suppose I could have said nothing
nore exasperating to a six-weeks
vife.
"If it's his fun," she cried, with
>corn, "I'm glad my sense of humor
s feeble. I think we'll change the
>ubject, Jim. But, once for all, I've
lad enough cats at home."
"We certainly will not quarrel
ibout them yet," said Barklow, as
jrave as an undertaker. "I'll put
;hem off for six months."
"Six years?eternity!" exclaimed
Mrs. Barklow. "And?this is, I
,hink, turbot, Mr. Reyson."
When we were alone I rallied Barkow
about the cats; but he would
lave none of it.
"Hush!" he said. "No tales out of
school, even to you, yet."
*******
Several weeks later the Barklows
changed their housemaid; and again
[ dined with them. The new girl
waited at table, and I was greatly impressed
with her attractions. She had
i sublime complexion; and, though
shy, moved with remarkable grace.
"What do you think of her, Mr.
Reyson?" Mrs. Barklow whispered
jagerly, after her first appearance.
'Isn't she sweet? She's from a
farm."
"Clumsy young fool?that's what
she is," growled Barklow.
"Breaks things, I presume?"
"Not a single?Oh, yes, you must
go to the concert, Mr. Reyson; you
must, indeed!"
The girl was resumed after an interval,
and though I don't care for
such topics of talk, I felt curious
about Barklow's unaccountable prejudice
toward so pleasing a young
woman.
"I tell my wife, Mr. Reyson," he
said, "that it's the greatest mistake
to engage pretty servants. Not that
Rogers is pretty."
"She is, Jim," protested Mrs. Barklow.
"Well," said Earklow, "it's a mercy
we see with different eyes. But,
pretty or not, I hope she'll soon disgrace
herself and leave us."
That was enough about the housemaid.
She is still with them, and a
pattern to other housemaids. I don't
choose to ask Barklow if marriage
with a pretty wife had blinded him
to beauty in others. But if it were
so it was an extraordinary change.
* * * * *
Weeks wore on, and Mrs. Barklow
Increased in glory?if I may so so?
alike of face and demeanor. Married
life, evidently, suited her. She was
almost a platant advertisement of tbe
fact. Her smiles and greetings were
all of that finished, matronly kind
which seem designed (by nature or
art) to persuade single women that
they are deplorably out of it in having
no man to command them, work
for them, and stand between them
and the greater troubles of life.
And now one day I met Mrs. Earklow's
mother, and received from her
a hint that she might soon be giving
up her beautiful house to live with
the Barklows. If not a positive hint,
it was emphatically an aspiration.
Again I dined with my good
friends, and again I was confuscd by
what seemed to me the abnormal
development of Barklow as a married
man.
ne LUtu me v.ruu au an ut uiwam
anticipation, of Lis desire to wclcomi
the lady as a permanent resident.
"You are entirely wrong, Jim,'
cried Mrs. Barklow. "Mr. Reyson
don't you agree with me that?thai
husband and wife are best alone, J
mean, living their own lives? Mamma
Is a darling, but I can't understand
Jim wishing her to share oui
home."
"Only," said the imperturbable
Barklow, "if she herself wishes it. ]
fancy she does, you know."
"Of course she does!" said Mrs
Barklow, impatiently. "But that
doesn't make it any the more?"
"Monstrous!" I suggested, with a
timid belief that it was the word she
wanted.
"Oh, come, Reyson!" said Barklow,
reprovingly.
"Monstrous is not at all the word.
Mr. Reyson," said Mrs. Barklow, icily.
"But I will not have it, Jim. You
will only estrange mamma and me if
you encourage her."
"Well," said Barklow, "we'll see
how things go. Anyhow, it's not a
step to be rushed. Is it, Joseph?"
Joseph was the fox terrier. Barklow
patted the dog's head. It was
yet anotner 01 me mcuugruiues ui
the domestic life that Mrs. Barklow
admitted Joseph iato the house. As
a bachelor, Barklow had dogs all over
the premises, whereas Mrs. Barklow,
as Amy Somers, didn't like dogs.
* * * * *
This day, over the wine, Barklow
suddenly enlightened my ignorance.
I was about to return to the motherin-law
problem, when he stopped me.
"Don't, old chap," he said. "It's
dangerous. It's the very thing Amy
wanted until I mooted it. Between
ourselves, I'm a trimmer all the time.
It would be an awful life with a woman
who wasn't worth it. But?do
you understand?"
His smile, as he todded, was a
complete revelation. "One must hoe
one's row in the way that suits one
best," he observed enigmatically.
I leave it to others to decide how
far he is wise as a husband, and how
far merely selfish as a man.?London
Leader.
The report of a cannon has been
heard 146 miles.
Two years is the life of the average
spider.
Cuba grows twenty-pound cabbage
heads.
A man generally weighs most at
his fortieth year.
The first postal card was sped on
its way in 1870.
Wood yields about one-fifth as
much heat as coal.
A motor manufacturing concern, of
Vienna, has offered a prize of $200
for a device by which the speed of
an automobile mav be keDt down to
fifteen miles an hour.
In Nottingham, England, 500
school children, representing some
200 families, are fed at restaurants,
at a cost of about four cents a meal.
There are at present in the medical
schools of France 7320 French and
S19 foreign students.
The word "Yonkers" is from the
Holland Jonkheer?English, "young
nobleman." The official legislative
enactment fixing the name Yonkers
took place March 7, 1788, when the
territory became one of the twenty
described towns comprising the county
of Westchester.
Greece has great wealth of minerals,
but they are mostly exported
in a crude state, because of the lack
of fuel, which is nowhere found in
sufficient quantity.
Since 1903 there have been no imports
of live cattle to England from
Argentina, on account of the footand-mouth
disease, but the imports
of frozen beef from that country
amounted last year to 402,047,632
iroliiari at 4 0 Q fi Q 823
I [iUUUUO, TUiU^U W.W y- V, w,w ? v.
In 18S6, when Theodore Roosevelt
was the Republican candidate
for Mayor of New York, he received
| the lowest vote cast?60,110?while
Henry George received 68,110 and
Abram S. Hewitt, who was the Democratic
nominee who was elected, re1
ceived 90,552 votes.
A Gymnastic Maine Hen.
Zenas Dudley, of Hampden, has a
hen that will lay every day providing
she can lay where she wants to, and
that is sitting on top of a pole. The
only reason why this hen wishes to
perch on the tip end of a pole when
laying can be accounted for only by
the fact that she laid her first egg on
top of a pole. When she was a small
pullet she was frightened one day and
flew to the top of a tall pole in the
yard. The dog kept her there foi
some time, and during the time she
laid her first egg. Never a time since
then has she laid an egg except when
she has been on the top of some pole.
A pole has been set up in the hen
yard, where this hen can make her
daily layings. A small net bag is
placed around the pole to catch the
eggs.?Kennebec Journal.
Killing Time.
Musical Comedy Manager?"How
long is the piece now?"
Author?"We have stretched it out
as much as we can, but it is still
about an hour less than standard
length."
Manager?"Well, dash off a topical
song about Broadway, with a dozen or
so encores."?Puck.
Bills to tax bachelors were introduced
in the Legislatures of Wisconsin.
Iowa, Texas and Missouri.
Spoke in Thrums.
Miss Helen Fraser is the first v:oman
suffragist to make her appearance
in Thrums, the small Scottish
i town endeared to Americans by J.
| M. Barrie. According to the Scottish
j newspapers Miss Fraser was greeted
, by a large and enthusiastic audience
j when she made her appearance in the
I public hall. As might have been exJ
pected, she was assailed with Scrip!
tural texts. She is reported to have
! made a good impression.?New York
Sun.
In tne interest of Good Eyes.
A noted oculist advises against using
the eyes Immediately after waking;
therefore the habit of many
young girls of reading or studying
! in bed is injurious.
j It is harmful to use the eyes when
! sleepy, as it is a great strain upon
: the muscles. If one must read or
j write when drowsy, rise occaslonaly
I and bathe the eyes with hot or cold
| water.
Remember that a quick change
[ from a dark room to a brilliant light
| is a strain upon the eyes.?New York
Press.
Persians Give Jewels.
The suffragist papers of London report
that the Persian women have
agreed to give their jewels and other
ornaments to provide capital to establish
a national bank. Some of
them are writing for the native newspapers,
which have rapidly increased
in number and circulation, there now
being twenty-five as compared with
four published two years ago. According
to the twenty-five Persian
newspapers the women of that country
are working as zealously as the
men and are willing to run any risk
for the sake of maintaining the constitution.?New
York Sun.
i
Bad Manners Barred.
"Never be gowned shabbily or !n
bad taste," is such a truism that it
sounds almost as burlesquy as the
03 | Cup Custard For Th
,S" o I a b?wl an(* beat
O cp ) Add one-quarter teaspoc
CD n. | spoonfuls of granulated
Qm ?_ ( minutes. Heat one pin
fcj </) ) very hot but not scaldei
q 5 ( beating it again for a n
i o ) small dishes that are pr
Jjf J pour the mixture in. <
.^5 ) Put the baking dishes :
| moderately hot oven. I
?* ? ( some hot water into th<
O O- ( firm in the middle and
I nnn/tanllla (larfnrTnDr'g Selection from
vauucvtuc jiviAvt^v. w ~ ? a
manual of etiquette, "Never eat
boup with a sponge." Society in several
cities is gossiping because a certain
young woman wears crumpled
frocks when she goes to a dance. Ceri
tainly she might get her maid to iron
the gowns and to put in fresh lace
and frills. Her hostesses act as if
she had broken a vital conmmandment.
The untidy, ill gowned girl
has little show socially, *ven were
j she the reincarnation of George Sand
j for intellect and the Venus of Milo
: in physical charms. The commonplace
girl with well made gowns and
tact has a better show for a good
time than the daughter of a billionaire,
if that counterfeit golden girl
wears dowdy clothes and has bad
manners.?New York Press.
Saint Joan's Armor.
Admirers of the Maid of Orleans
will be pleased to learn that her
armor is still in existence and can be
seen in the museum of the Chateau
de la Tour de Pinion in Aigne. It is
said that there is no doubt of its authenticity.
The museum was founded
in 1830 by the Marquis de Courval,
and to-day the chateau is the
property of his daughter, the Princess
of Poix. The armof, which was believed
to have been lost, was found
about twelve years ago. The cuirass
differs from similar pieces of the
same period and indicates that It was
made by a woman. The other portions
(all are in polished steel) Tesemble
those of the Middle Ages
which are shown in the works of Eugene
Emmanuel Violet-le-Duc, the
celebrated architect and archaeologist,
who will still be remembered
by many years.?London Globe.
Swedish Minister's Wife.
Mme. Lagercrantz, wife of the
Swedish Minister, has been entertaining
Washington (D. C.) society after
the way which holds in old Scandi'
navia. She is a delightful addition
to the capital's social ranks, say women
who ought to know what constitutes
that mysterious thing "a delightful
social addition." She is the
daughter of Senator Croneberg, prominent
in recent Swedish statesmanship.
She has brought all her furnishings
from Stockholm and the Legation
is one of the best equipped in
Washington. Mme. Lagercrantz
gives receptions after the European
fashion. She has tea and light refreshments
for the guests and chats
gayly. Below stairs guests may play
cards if they wish, though the Swedish
Minister is an intensely solemn
and non-card-playing person. In another
reom you may have music, and
also refreshments,that don't go in by
the way of your ears.?New York
Press.
Economy.
Some one told me ones that economy
was saving money, not for luxuries
or pleasures, but for common,
ordinary necessities, in an emergency.
I didn't believe it then, but I
kaow it now, and I learned only by
experience.
In the life of every working girl
comes a. time when she is without a
position. It may come often, perhaps
when least expected, but it
comes. If she has economized she'll
be prepared and there will be none
of that awful anxiety, that daily
struggle and search, that haunts the
girl w^o '* denendent on herself
' " - alone
and who has nothing save
I a rainy day.
It sems hard to work for a ]
and economize for a living, too, <
n't it? But there are compensai
The self-denial necessary for
economy works like a charc
strengthening and molding
character and acts as a spur to
accomplishments. ? Heloise Ar
in Chicago News.
Don't Need a Fortune.
The well dressed woman is nc
one who spends the most on
clothes, but she who knows her
type. There is a great art in
wearing what is becoming. T1
the secret of many a woman's h
as well as her reputation for s
dressing.
The woman who studies her
lfnnwa hptfpr than to follow fa
slavishly. Not long ago a m
and daughter were at the same
ner. The former is a noted be
while of the daughter is us
heard, "What a pity she did n<
herit her mother's looks!" On
occasion the woman had made
self almost ugly by her adopti<
the latest coiffure and inartistii
of the rouge brush; while the
who was clever enough to dre
her type, semed a beauty despi
regular features.
Remember that clothes count
as much as features and color!]
making a beautiful woman, an<
who does not choose clothes to
her special style will fall short o
full measure of good looks.
Thus a girl with a piquant
and bright, young expression
venture to wear a sailor hat
Peter Pan collar though far
school girl age; but'a woma
rugged features and sallow colo
will look ridiculous in this disti
youthful dress.
For a woman with a receding
and dull, small eyes it is fol
adopt a severely simple style of
in hope to be thought intellei
ree.?Break two eggs carefully ii
an egg-beater for three minut
inful of salt and two heaping tab
sugar. Beat with a spoon for .t
t of milk in a saucepan until it
d, and mix with the egg and sug
linute with your spoon". Take thi
etty and yet will stand baking, a
jrate a little nutmeg over the t
into a pan, and put the pan into
3efore you shut the oven door pc
i pan. Cook until the custards i
brown on top.?Delineator.
What she needs is fluffiness, ?
thing to soften her face and co
her defects. To brush the hair
plainly and wear mannish collars
makes her look ugly, not clever
Another type which should <
extreme simplicity of dressing i
girl with naturally high colc
bright yellow or certain tilts o
hair, or with that somewhat un
combination brown eyes and
lashes with golden hair. Conspii
clothes while they may not be i
coming, will ruin her look of n
ment.?New Haven Register.
t n n !m LC
v^r^. rmuL?>. \
The newest parasols feature
button holed edge.
The fashionable seal contain;
a single letter.
The collarless gown is gaini
great popularity.
Many of the fashionable long
ets have pockets.
The smartest stockings are
broidered in self tones.
It seems probable that the
for soutache braid is to live for a
while yet.
Daggers of tortoise shell, sti
with diamonds, are among the
popular hair ornaments.
The gored skirt with pleats
into the side seams is one of the
ular models at present.
Do you use the tatting shi
Tatting, made of coarse thre;
fashionable for making neckwea
The new bang is rounded, and
made into soft, loose little curls
are just visiuie uuaer tue aro<
hat brim.
The craze for metallic effects
In the height of fashion all winte
it looks as though it would hold
all summer.
Foremost among bags is the b
bag, which comes in logically en
with the craze for bronze shoes
bronze belts.
Hipless and thin women may j
the coat wide and pointed ove:
hips, as it adds to the woman]
of their outline.
One sees so many contrasts t:
word of warning appears necessa
the average woman who, regai
of its flttingness, would don th
ductive Corday in lace and flowe
While many of the coats hai
in points over each hip are p:
esque? it must be borne in mic
the woman with wide hips thai
particular cut should be eschew*
There is such a contrast bet
vnnthfnl rirnnninf? frills nf '
lace and flowers and the time or
worn face that common sense t
it would seem, would forbid its u
certain women.
One coat, rather loose, with t
quarter or seven-eighth 1<
sleeves is swagger on a thin wc
and if it have the front and ba
the skirt coming down in blunt I
it looks well.
A hat that is especially suited
pretty and picturesque young w
and that is extremely trying to o
longer young, is the Charlotte
day in lace and lingere model
necially if decked out iD flowers
P SUPPLY OF ARMY HORSES.
Not Equal to Demand in EnglandFrench
and German Stables.
J The adequate supply of horses for
j?i \ the army, it would scarcely be denied,
j is as essential to its efficiency as men
jQi ; and guns. Yet in this vital particuj
lar the Government, as in so many
d for ; other questions relative to the dei
fence of the country, have utterly
iving ; failed to realize their responsibilities,
does- I Sir Gilbert Parker is raising the
tions. point in one of its important aspects
true i ne*t week in the House of Commons,
a in | He has given notice to call the attenone's
, tion of the Secretary of State for War
ward '-o the fact that German agents are
nold, extensively luying three-year-old
horses suitable for army purposes in
England, Ireland and Wales.
"There is no use disguising the
fact," said an expert on English horse
>t the oreeding, "that the country is rapidly
her oeing denuded of its best horses and
' own '.he position is becoming acute.
only "it is a regulation of the War Oflis
is flee that horses shall not be bought
eauty under four years old. This is the
imart foreigner's chance. Not only the
Germans, but practically every Contype
tinental country, has agents bent on
shion securing the very pick of the availother
ible three-year-olds. They purchase
t din- especially young mares, which, of
auty, lourse. do not return to this couniually
try. They are, therefore, reducing
)t in- both in quality and number the sup
this piy of four-year-olds obtainable by
her- the home authorities.
jn of "The German and French Governc
use aients realize the value of a plentiful
Sirl? supply. They have their own governss
to ment breeding establishments and ente
ir- | ;ourage horse breeding by subsidy.
[ believe France pays something like
quite 300,000 francs a year In this respect,
ag in Then they take great care that only
I she good stallions are employed.
> suit "The principal causes of the alarmf
her (ng scarcity?for I am convinced if
war broke out to-morrow we have
lace, j Qot a sufficient supply for the army?
may j are the unprecedented buying of
anc* ! young horses by foreign agents, the
past j fact that farmers are more and more
n of j giving up the breeding of horses, the
rings increase in mechanical traction, and
nctly the heavy demand for horses during
the late South African War."?Pall
chin Mall Gazette.
ly to .
H rpqq
jtuai. Qualified.
lto By DON A. KAHN.
?3, "So they elected Smith for the new
! college president, did they?"
w0 "Yes; the board of regents thought
*3 that he was the best man for the
ar* place."
re? "He's never written a text book,
nd has he?"
op* "No; never heard so."
"And never been an ambassador to
,ur a foreign country, has he?"
ire < "I don't believe so."
"Has he ever made any important
discoveries in science?"
lome- "None that anyone ever heard yt.''
nceal ?i3 he especially strong as an inback
structor in anything?"
i only "No; from what they tell me he's
I aot much good in apedagogical way."
affect "And he's not a great disciplinas
the rian nor an expert at administrating.
tion?"
f red "N0.?
usual "Well, then, how in the world did
dark he ever get the college presidency?
:uoua What had he ever done?"
unhft* ??T4. n- Wunaa nf what he had
efine- done, it was for what he hadn't
done."
"Well, then, what hadn't he done
that was so great?"
* Ji "He'd never knocked foctball."?
si \ From Puck.
The Boy's Choice.
On the day the Boy was eleven
> the years old, he visited an artist friend.
I The artist likes boys. He entertained
3 but ' tbe Boy royally. He gave him a gun
I and cigarette coupons worth $2.50.
j The Boy was proud of the gun, but
ng a j he thought still more of the coupons.
I "What are you going to get with
jack- them, son?" asked his mother.
"I don't know," said the Boy.
em- His mother was about to offer a few
suggestions, but the Boy's father intaste
terfered.
. long "Just you let Jim alone," he said.
"Let him pick out his own prize. He
idded knows wbat 110 wants."
most "But hs'U ?et something foolish,"
argued the practical mother.
"No, he won't," said the father,
i let "That Boy's got the best judgment
P?P* of any boy I ever saw. He won't
throw his money away. He'll come
ittle? home with something useful?somead
is thing that he needs right on the spot,
r. I wouldn't be afraid to bet on that."
then So the mother finally gave in. On
i that Saturday the Boy went downtown to
oping exchange his coupons for a prize.
When he came home the family was
, waa gathered at the dinnei table talking
r and about himgood
"Come, dear," said his mother,
"show mother what her little man
got."
ronJ? They sat expectant while the poy
ough unwfapped his prize. After a while
' a they spoke. The mother said, "What
did I tell you?" and the father said,
idont "Wall T'11 ho hldmert!"
r the The Boy had bought a razor.?
liness j^ew York Times.
hat a
ry lQ Particular About the Butter.
dless "Ma wants two pounds of butter exe
se_ actly like what you sent us last. If itrs>
ain't exactly like that she won't take
aeine it'" said the sma11 boyictur
&rocer turned to his numerous
id by cust?mers anc* remarked blandly:
this "Some people in my business don't
like particular customers, but I do.
It's my delight to serve them and get
ween them What they want. I will attend
white tQ you in a momenti uttie boy."
g et "Be sure to get the same kind,"
ilone, gai(j t^e jj0y lot 0J, pa>s reiations
se y is visiting at our house, and ma
doesn't want 'em to ccme agaiu."?
hree- rit-Bits.
?ngth ,
?man,
0? Queer Delusion.
joints It Is stated that an Atlanta man
sees his rainbows upside down?that
[ to a is> the-v are a11 t)enl: tlle wrong way.
oman might, of course, counteract
ne no Lllis standing on his head.
p0r- But a better way is to help prove
s ~e3, that Georgia is a prohibition State?
/ and avoid benders.?Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
: - v ' V ,
v - - - ' '
A// Wio
Would Enjoy
good health, with its blessings, must understand,
quite clearly, that it involves the
question of right living with all the term
implies. With proper knowledge of what
is best, each hour of recreation, of enjoyment,
of contemplation and of effort may
lie made to contribute to living aright, j
Then the use of medicines may be dispensed
with to advantage, but under ordinary
conditions in many instances a
simple, wholesome remedy may be in valuably
if taken at the proper time and the
California Fig Syrup Co. holds that it is
alike important to present the subject
truthfully and to supply the one perfect
laxative to those desiring it.
Consequently, the Company's Syrup of
Figs and Elixir of Senna gives general
satisfaction. To get its beneficial effects
buy the genuine, manufactured by the
California Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale
by all leading druggists.
You Indoor
People
must give the bowels help.
Your choice must lie between
harsh physic and candy
r9 e/>4?4? U? M1* AM
^ W. ti(USUUC39 XUdJkCS >
the bowels callous, so you need
increasing- doses. Cascarets do
just as much, but in a gentle way.
Vest-pocket box, 10 cents?at drag-stores. 851
Each tablet of the genuine la marked C C C.
* Rescued a Shipwrecked Gat.
The salvage steamer Enterprise,
which put into Dover yesterday from
the wrecked liner Mahratta on the
Goodwins, had on board a black cat
which was rescued eleven days after
the liner was abandoned.
It was in a terribly emaciated condition
when discovered by the salvage
men, having had nothing to eat or
drink during that'period, and,it was
very wild. Eventually Diver G. Fabian
succeeded in capturing it, and it'
is being made a pet of on the Enterprise.?London
Daily Mail.
What Was in Her Hair.
"Now, Margaret, dear, I'm going
to put some vaseline on your hair to
t.t.> A..i n ~~IA f/i
uinu tue uaui lull uul, oaiu uxauima w
her small hopeful of five. "Then you
may run out and play."
"What's In your hair, Margie?"
asked her playmate a little later. "It
looks all shiny."
"Oh, my mamma put some gasoline
in It to take the dandelions out,"
replied little Margaret wisely.?New
York Times.
Inconsistent Business Men.
There are plenty of business men
here in Uvalde who buy government
envelopes because they can get them
printed for nothing. They do not
believe it is proper for the people to
get their merchandise through a mallorder
house, but It is all right for
them to patronize a government monopoly.?Uvalde
Press.
WONDERFUL RESULT.
, ' ' ' >
Gravel and Kidney Trouble of Tears'
Standing Cured. .
Theodore Ott, R. F. D., No. 2,
Elkton. Md.. a large property owner,
?says: "Six years ago
a pain in the back
almost toppled me
over. My back got
weak and ached
most of the time.
Sediment in the
urine changed to
small erains and
then gravel began to
cause terrible painful attacks. I lost
29 pounds, and as specialists did not
help me I grew despondent. I
thought I would try Doan's Kidney
Pills, and can't express my delight at
finding tbey helped me. I kept on
until the trouble was gone, and
though 79 years old I feel strong."
Sold by all dealers: 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Some Thin^n to Swear Off.
There are other things to swear off
on besides booze and 'baccy. For
J instance, the man in the restaurant
I who gargles his soup should swear
off; so should the woman who eats
peanuts in the theatre; the man who
has a sure cure for a cold; the man
who wants to tell you what bright
things his baby has done; the man
who eats onions and then Insists on
riding home inside the car during
the rush hours.
DAISY FLY KILLERS 27^3
flJ? Neat. dean,
ornamental, convenient.
cheap,
tuti all
Made of metal,
cannot spill or tip
over, wiil cot eotl
or Injure anything.
Guaranteed
effective. Of
alidMlm or sent
prepaid for fOc.
UABOLD souaa. 160 Daluiti Art. Braskljrm. S. T.
J ??
i Before yon bay a piano it will be to
i your interest to find oat about the
PianolaPiano
; The greatest piano success of the age
! Frequently people say Co us: "How
! / wish I had known about the
I PIANOLA PIANO sooner? "
We are taking in exchange hundreds
j of fine pianos, simply because this
i modern improvement in pianos gives
as much greater musical enjoyment
and because it confers upon every
j member of the family the fascina|
tion of personally producing music.
Send for Catalog 21
THE AEOLIAN COMPANY
362 FIFTH AVE. . , NEW YORK
nPOPSY NEW DISCOVERY;
i