Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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/ MS SUBMISSION. You will betray me?Oh, deny it not.! What right have T. alas, to say you nay? ]. traitor of ten loves, what shall f say rTo plead with you that I be not: forgot? My jove has not been squandered jot by jot In little loves that perish with the day. Mv treasure has been ever to the sway A.. Irnntvn nnltv blot. You will betray me as T have betrayed And I shall bias the hand that docs mt wrong. And oh. not pardon?I need pardon more. But in proud torment, dumb and unafraid. Burn in my hell nor cease the bitter song Your beauty triumphs in for evermore. ?Richard Hovey. {Posthumously published for the first time iu Futnam's.) o??DCC3?t ? ' TJMMOMacaaac??am ' THE LITTLEWATER BOY By JULIA HEMPSTEAD BULL. "Do you think." inquired the little ! boy wistfully, "that you'll have time to come down to the Stump Hole and J see me swim some day. pretty soon?" I said I thought I should. "To-morrow, maybe?" with growing animation. "Perhaps." Then the flood gates of his eloquence were unloosed. "I'm getting so I can swim pretty good now. Oh, not really, truly swim much, you know, but I can keep oft the bottom when I paddle hard. For a while I can. I'm getting so now I ain't a bit afraid to go out where it's pretty deep?up clear to my stomach. Yes! You know, there's the Mud Hole; that's deeper. Lots of boys go there, 'cause they think it's more fun: That's farther, though: clear down to the other road. And then there's the Horse Hole; that's deeper than the ' Mud Hole. That's an awful long ways?w .v out to the stone quarry. Gee, but it's deep out there! Most as deep as the Band Pit. Course, the 'Sand Pit, that's the deepest. Men and big fellows, they go to the Sand Pit. I wouldn't want to go to the Sand Pit?not till I learn better. -Gee, I'd be scared! You see. the edges slope down awful sudden. "I'd rather go to the Stump Hole. That's where I swinr. Les' he comes to the Stump Hole, too, but it's mostly to watch us, kids. When he wants to swim he goes to the Sand Pit. You know that stump right at the edge of the Stump Hole? I'm going to jump off from that?I didn't ever jump off from it yet. I'm going to land right on my stomach." "Won't it knock your breath out?" I asked. "No! 'Tain't that far up. Dean, he jumps off. He lands on his stomach. He said 'Gee, that feels funny!' Dean, he jumps off sometimes and ; Hums a flipflop right in the air. Turns a flipflop right in the air, and comes down on his back." Reminiscent silence by the little I boy. Then: "I tell you, you want to keep moving around when ya^re down there in the Stump Hole;^r you don't the minnies bite you! Gee! You're sitting there quiet, and first thing you know you feel something nibble! And you think it's a real big fish. But it ain't; it s just the minnies. They aren't a bit afraid; keep still just a minute, and they come right at you." He paused, then he said: "There ain't any step-down at the Stump Hole any more. Did I tell you what a step-off is?" I was a little doubtful about it. "Well, you see, a step-off?oh, that's where it gets deep all of a sudden. You'll be walking along real . careful, and all at once your foot goes 'way down deep, and you're "way down in the water before you know it. Gee!" "What became of the step-off?" I asked with interest. "Don't know. Stud washed into j it, maybe." "I don't s'pose I do swim very good yet." he went on with regretful lion- , esty. "Someway, I don't seem to know nnitf* hnw tn mnlro mv ormo cta UoaI* ^U>vv ?? vvr iuuuv mj ai 1110 qV uat IV, I just paddle, dog-fashion. I don't have to hold ray nose with my hand any more, though, when I go under water, he added, brightening. "I -can just put my hand under, and not choke a bit. Oh, sometimes I chok6. Sometimes I kind of forget, .-- and breathe before I get clear up! But I can hear under water. Why to-day I had my head under water, and one 01" the boys yelled, and I heard him!" The little boy gave himself up to an ecstasy of recollection. "It's fun to play alligator," he said presently. "Do you know how?" I had to confess ray ignorance. "Well, you see, one fellow dives, and he has to stay under water and catch another fellow, and he has to stay under water, too?so you 6ee. they both have to dive at once?and one fellow, he tries to keep out of the way. It's deep enough to play alligator down at the Stump Hole. Only you scrape your knees on the bottom some. But that don't hurt I dived once. My head went right into the gravel. It didn't hurt, though?just felt kind of mashy, and then all slipped away." The little boy yawned. He was a very little boy. Presently he came and stood by my side rubbing his eyes. "I'm afraid it will be a rainy day to-morrow," I said. His face fell for an instant. Then he said optimistically, "Oh, well, that won't make any difference. I can go swimming anyhow. I'll take the umbrella along to keep my clothes dry, and I don't care if it does rain on my skin." Hp put his arms around my neck and gave me an affectionate hug. > "I guess I'll go to bed now," he eaid. I watched him march sturdily off upstairs, whistling. And to-morrow I am surely going down to the Stump Hole to see the little boy swim.?Woman's Home ? .Companion. All Abyssinian male children over twelve must go to school. The State provides the education and is build* iog many schools. | SALT PORK ALMOST {SOLE DIET OF CAMP. Alaskan Coast Storms Prevent Relief Until Three Weeks Have Elapsed i Reduced to a diet consisting ali most solely of salt pork was the experience of a camp of 2000 men at Catalina before relief was brought to them by the Alaskan steamer Bertha. This condition of affairs was due j to the tremendous storms and unI precedented weather conditions that j have prevailed for weeks on the Alaskan coast. Catalia has practically no harbor, and in rough weath- i er the open sea pounds upon the sea beach with such fury that lighters cannot operate between vessels and the shore. For three weeks prior to October 23 vessels found it extremely difficult to beat close enough in to Catalia to offer assistance, which could not be given because it was impossible for lighters to brave the destructive seas. Steamships loaded with provisions were sent out from Valdez almost daily to Catalia, which I is only 147 miles distant. But the I weather constantly defeated their efI forts, and after arriving off Catalia it was simply c matter of cruising about for a number of hours and then returning to Valdez or going on the voyage undertaken. By the latter part of September flour, butter, fresh meat and oil for lighting, with sugar and other common necessities. had given out. and the people were facing extremities. "When I arrived at Valdez," said Captain Alfred L. Olson, of the steamship Bertha, "I was told by the merchants at that place that the people of Catalia were starving, and was asked to take provisions there and see if I could not effect a landing of at least sufficient of the necessities to eliminate famine. I sailed from Valdez on October 25 with eighty tons of canned goods and potatoes and provisions of various kinds and arrived off Catalia the next day. By great good fortune I found a smooth sea. which lasted for a few hours, and during this precious time the lighters came out to us and we discharged. We did not have any fresh meat to give them, but the canned goods were a good substitute until they obtain further relief." Captain Olson says that the weath* 5 J ^V>A TTAWflOTQ TIT Q Q er ne expeneuceu uu mc ^ the worst he has seen in the many years of service he has seen in Alaskan waters. "There was rain, hail, hurricane winds and snow continually," said he, "with mountainous seas kicked up all along the Alaskan coast. Our vessel suffered, the saiis being taken from us and the house being damaged some." Two days before the Bertha landed the provisions at Catalia the steamship Saratoga made an ineffectual attempt" to land provisions, but was driven off by heavy weather. None of the Bertha's crew went ashore, and during the time she was discharging to the lighters there was such a rush to get all the freight ashore that but little could be learned of the condition prevailing in the camp. ? Tacoma Correspondence of the New York World. Taken in a Literal Way. fob-a romarlrc: in ^ literal V^UIIUl CU lAAv* 4 ? way." said a Federal employe. "I had that impressed upon me," he continued, "during a visit of President Roosevelt to the city. My small boy was standing beside me, watching the police working with the cr'owda to keep them from encroaching beyond the lines that had been established along the line of march for the parade. One man was especially energetic in getting beyond the curb, and finally an irate policeman caught | him roughly by the arm and shoved i him back into the crowd. As soon ! as the man's arm had been seized 1 . noticed my boy stretching his head eagerly forward, watching, and then he turned to me with: I " 'Pa! Oh, pa! Did yeh see that policeman pinch that man?' "?Indi- I j anapolis News. j Too Loquacious. I Tho inhabitants of the Canary i [sles, finding themselves oppressed by j ; famine, sent to the governor of Gal- J icia one of their head men as an am- ' j bassador. They advised him not to ' lose himself in long-winded talk. He , ' promised and kept his word. He took j I with him a largo number of sacks, ! | and arriving at the town where the j I governor was on circuit he opened i 1 one of them before him, saying only j | these words: "It is empty; fill it." j | The governor ordered this sack | and the rest to be filled with meal, but he said to the speaker: 'You had no need to tell us that! t the sack was empty, nor that it was' I necessary to fill it; we should have ' ' ~n ,-v ^ AnntVior timp l reaauy gucoacu mm. be briefer in your talk."?Bon' Vivan'c. I Commerical Proverbs. The earning power of a doliar de- I pends on the brains of the man back of it. Feed your mind?the fellow who feeds his body only keeps on shoveling coal. The greatest combination in the world is ability, ambition and initiative, seasoned with honesty. A thousand men do a thing so-so and exist on liver to one who does it well and commands his own price. When a lily stops growing its beauty begins to fade, and when a man quits studying his brain begins to shrivel.?From Cent Per Cent. Fewer Birth in Franco. The condition of France might be put in a nutshell: "More marriages, more divorces and fewer births." No ran call this a healthy condition of affairs. It means that, if the present movements were continued over a sufficiently long period of time, they are bound to end in the disappearance of the French population.? Country Life. A circus has installed a phone in its ticket office whence tickets may be ordered. i j aa New YnrkCitv.?'F'anovwr?{Rta ma ! an important feature of the wa: robe, and at this season when so ma coat suits are worn, are especia in demand. This one includes a v? dainty and attractive chemisette feet, and is adapted both to silk a to all the wool materials that s liked for the purpose. Again, It su the entire gown and the Bepart blouse equally well, so that Its ui fulness Is extensive. As Illustrat one of the pretty plaid silks Bhowl lines of brown and tan on a wh! ground and the chemisette and slee trimmings are of tucked taffel Darker colorings could be used, ho1 ever, if something, more serviceat is liked or the chemisette and cu: could be made of the muslin that always dainty and charming and v rious other changes might easily made. If the chemisette is made muslin or of chiffon and the llnli beneath cut away it will give t: transparent effect that always Is pretty and so dressy. The waist is made with the fitted 11 Ing. and consists of front and bac with the chemisette. The front laid in tucks, but the backs are pla and the closing is made Invisibly. T sleeves are distinctly novel and a arranged over fitted foundations. Tho quantity of material requir for the medium size is three yar twenty-one, two and three-eigh yards twenty-seven or one and fi\ eighth yards forty-four inches wic with five-eighth yard of silk for t j vest and five-eighth yard eighte Inches wide for the chemisette a; cuffs. Rose Rosettes Returned. There is a return to the rose 1 aettes for hat and dress trimmir and these are not nearly so diflfici to manufacture as are the genui rosettes. The material is cut on t bias, then folded around and arour beginning in the middle, until o reaches the desired size. Silk, sat gauze and chiffon are appropri? materials, and, in addition to bei used as hat trimming, evening froc are most successfully decorated wi them. They catch waist drapei hold lace flounces and sometimes f ish the ends of ribbon strands. For Hat Pins. Have you invested in a pair of f hat nine Tr-ith whirh tn nin nn vn fur hat? If not, you shouid re< do so at onco. They are a m< charming accessory. Little fur hea to match the fur of your hats z attached to long hat pins. They m be used to "really truly" pin on yo hat, or they may be stuck in sim] i as trimming. No Strict Tailor-Made. Where is the strict tailor-mad We see so few of them nowadays tl by comparison with the fluffy, half I quite dressy cloth suit, the tai j genre would appear quite old-maidii SHBggM "'I M&gS fl ij.< i <a?Q2a?5ft ka 1 Whito Kid Gloves. rd- I tt -li?. I.U _i #?n,ttk neavy WQILW inu giuvea mccu mm color are the smart kind for mourning. sry ? j Substitute Veil. irQ The face veil of net with a heavy jtg thread or two run along the lower ltQ edge like the ribbon or crape border 3Q_ is a satisfactory substitute for the Q(j j mourning veil as one lays aside first j ng | mourning. Ite Passementerie and Fringes. Passementerie ornaments in tassel and other forms and fringes of all sorts, Including chenille, are much employed for trimming long coats. Satins and heavy soft silks are also extensively used, while lace coats with chiffon interllnings and warm satin inner finishings are Btill modlshly indorsed. ja Favorite Hat Trimming. 1 A favorite trimming for handsome \ hats Is the uncurled ostrich feather * TViIo la wAnn/1 oronnrl r 1U UUU ciictu* X mo id rrvuuu the crown of the hat in very graceful fashion, and is often completed by an ostrich feather pompon. The latter, however, is not always used. The boa effect can be combined with > floral trimmings or a long plume can be substituted. Ruffles on Shirts. Last season we had a fashion of arranging ruffles on the bottom of ve skirts that were raised on the two :a. sides; now we are setting them on w- high In the front, in a point, some tie reaching as far as the knee, where' Eta they gradually descend to the hem, la covering it in the back. Large drop a- ornaments or handsome bows of ribbe boa hold down the point in a pretty of way. The arrangement is a graceful ig one, but should only be attempted by tie a Blight and tall, girlish figure. so Girl's Bloomers, n- Bloomers such as these are exks ceedlngly desirable garments, not for is the exercise Buit alone, but to be in worn in place of petticoats during he the winter months. They are much re warmer, much snugger and altogether more satisfactory, while they do ed away with a great deal of unnecesds sary bulk. The ones illustrated are th made from dark blue serge, simply re- stitcher! with belding silk, but they le, could be made from mohair or from he light weight cloth or from MJk, ilanen nel lined, indeed, from almest anynJ thing that is warm and comfortable. A great many girls like them made from soft silk with removable linings of flannel or cashmere, which can be washed and replaced, but '?* such elaboration is by no means nec>S. essary, for light weight serge or flannel are the materials most generally ne used. he The bloomers are made with leg 'd, portions that are joined and gathered ne at their upper edges while they are in. finished with bands and are closed lte at the sides. They are drawn up bens neath the knees by means of elastic ko inserted in the hems. le? The quantity of material required iat for the medium size iten years) is or three yard? twenty-sevtn, one and a lor half yards forty-four' or fifty-two sh. inches wide. . . j \ ) -h.- " ' \ , eoc4?o??oo?9eeo?*?e?e??e? J A FRENCH S S CHATEAU. S o ?9o?oeo8??o?a*e?9o??9St?ao It was a fine old house, high in the centre, with a lower wing on each side. There were three drawingrooms,, a library, billiard-room and dining-room on the ground floor. The large drawing-room, where we always saf:, ran straight through the house, with big glass doors opening out on the lawn on the entrance side, and on the other into a long gallery which ran almost the whole length ; of the house. It was always filled with plants and flowers, open in summer, with awnings to keep out the sun; shut in winter with glass windows and warmed by one of the three caloriferes of the house. In front of the gallery the lawn sloped downto the wall which separated the place from the highroad. A belt of fine trees marked the path along the wall and shut out the road completely, except in certain places where an opening had been made for the view. We were a small party for such a big house: only the proprietor and his wife (old people), my husband and myself. The life was very simple, almost austere. The old people lived in the centre of the chauteau, W. and I in one of the wings. It had been all fitted up for us, and was a charming little house. W. had the ground floor?a bedroom, dressing room, cabinet de travail, dining-room and a small room, half reception room, half library,- where he had a large bookcase filled with books, which he gave away as prizes, or to school libraries. The choice of the books always interested me. They were principally translations, English and American?Walter Scott, Marryat, Fenimore Cooper, etc. The bedroom and cabinet de travail had glass doors opening on the park. I had the same rooms upstairs, giving one to my maid, for I was nervous at being so far away from any one. M. and Mme. A. and all the servants were at the other end of the house, and there were no bells in our wing (nor anywhere else in the house except in the dining-room).?Scribner's. WORDS OF WISDOM. Constant scratching will change the itch into an abscess. Locked in Cabanas one does not 3hout because tho day is fine. So beans, so children. Becoming ripe they forget their pods with speed. Give me a sinner trying to be good. Keep yourself, for all 1 care, the idle saint. There are beautiful flowers, which If worn in the hair, will smear a belle with sticky juice. He who has been wise enough to have plenty of salve will be too wise lo have much need for it. - Could we see through a man's shirt, how often would we refuse to give him friendship. The back of a machete would cut na well n<a this frrmt if pnniieh time were spent in sharpening it. I force my mule to walk, to trot, to run; yet he weighs thrice as much as I. I cannot force any new-horn babe to smile, yet I could crush him with one hand. Sailors, in calm, pray for another ship so that they may visit; in storm they pray for solitude, that they may avoid collision. And O, remember that storms rise quickly out of calms. Kicked by the bare foot of a papuer one is more hurt than if kicked by the king in golden sandals, and more resentful; and hard and sharp edged jewels on the hand that pats give comfort and not bruises to the patted head.?From "Cuban Proverbs" in the Bohemian. Not to Be Expected. The 'bus was going along at a good speea, wnen an eiueriy gentleman 01 i ample proportions threw his dignity to the winds by falling into the road t in trying to alight while the vehicic was in motion. Away went the' bus, while the conductor watched the Injured passenger ruefully rubbmg~TiTsr~ bruised pafts. Presently the wounded one dashed after the 'bus with frantic speed. "Didn't you sec me fall, conductor?" he shouted. "Yes, sir. I never seed the like of it befora." "Then why didn't you stop?" "Stop!" ejaculated the conductor. " 'Ow was I to know you wanted to get on and do it again?"?Tit-Bits. Short Stay Neighborhoods. A man who contemplated going into business for himself looked around for a good location. He rejected the advice of two friends who had suggested neighborhoods which they thought desirable. ''I don't like either of the places," he said. "Business can't be good around there. I have passed through those streets many times, and always I have been struck with the frequency with which the names on the shops are changed. That doesn't look promising. Wherever a man finds trade profitable he stays; contrariwise, he moves. None of the short stay neighborhoods for me."?New York Post. I'eacc Loving Kansas. Out in Grant County the first jury trial in ten years was held last week ?and this trial was over a trifling damage suit that had no business in court. Not only was there not a ; I criminal action in tnat time, out . there was not even a civil dispute | that required the services of a jury. The people of Grant County have little use for a court. The prohibitory law has always been enforced in nearly all of the short-grass counties. Few of them have jails, and the few jails there are In Western Kansas rarely have an inmate from one year's end to another. >?Topek Sta Tournal. Sponge Drops. Whites three eggs, one-third cup sifted powdered sugar, yolks three eggs, one-half cup flour, one-eighth lcvci LCitspuuii su.it, uue-tairu tenspoon vanilla. Beat the whites of the eggs very stiff and beat in the sugar, adding it gradually. Then add the egg yolks beaten very light; then the vanilla. Fold in the flour and salt sifted together. Drop from the tip of a spoon on to unbuttered paper. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and bake eight minutes in a moderate oven.?New Haven Register. "Knrtoffel Salat." The ingredients are one dozen small boiled potatoes (cold), onequarter pound of bacon, two onions, a small piece of bacon (for frying), parsley, French dressing (oil, vinegar, pepper, salt, chopped parsley and a very little mustard). Cut the one-quarter pound of bacon in small dice and fry (not too brown), mixing both bacon and fat with the salad. This is prepared an hour before luncheon or tea and well chilled In the ice box. Serve with hot buttered crackers, sprinkled liberally with paprika.?New York World. Broiled Oysters. Select large oysters. Drain them on a cloth or napkin, turning them from side to side to make them as dry as possible. Meanwhile soften some butter and season some cracker crumbs with salt and pepper. Then, holding each oyster on a fork, dip it into the crumbs, then into the melted butter, and again into the crumbs. Arrange them in an oyster broiler (which differs from ordinary broilers by having the wires closer together) and broil over a hot fire for about two minutes, turning the broiler every few seconds. They should not be shrivelled, but plump, soft, tender and juicy.?New York World. Honey Nut Sandwiches. These are a dainty delicacy for afternoon tea. To make them, have a jar of strained golden honey, some finely chopped walnuts, almonds, pecans that were blanched before chopping and a number of the small raised quick biscuits that may be found in any first-class caterer's. After heating these by placing them in the oven in a closely covered pan, first brushing each one over the top with milk or water, split each one and spread with the honey, with which has been mixed the nuts, in the proportion of one tablespoonful of chopped nuts to each two tablespoonfuls of the honey.?New York World. Home-Made Candy. Opera creams are simply fudge with a slight variation. Instead of stirring the syrup until it grains while hot, it is cooled, then beaten and wrapped in balls on waxed paper. A good recipe for this fudge: Put one cupful of sugar and one-half cupful of milk In a saucepan, and when it boils stir in a square of unsweetened chocolate, grated. Cook until the syrup spins a thread when dropped irom a spoon or iorms a sou oau when dropped in cold water; then take from the fire, add a teaspoonful of vanilla extract and a teaspoonful of butter, and beat with a spoon until it begins to thicken. Then turn into shallow buttered pans and when hard enough mark into squares.?Pittsburg Dispatch. Hints' fofC the (Housekeeper^ When coal is red it is nearly burned out. When washing drop a small piece of orris root in the boiler and the clothes will have a delicate scent. Use a piece of velvet or velveteen for dusting ribbons, hat and other articles of silk. It is far better than a brush. To keep a fire several hours shake out the ashps. fin with cnal.__cJLoaa. thr> jnrr1^Tr--TrTHr7iai:ti;illv' open the slide above the fire. When washing kitchen rag carpets starch them with starch left over on wash day. They will lie on the floor like new carpets. To clean light kid slippers put one-half an ounce of hartshorn in a saucer, dip a bit of clean flannel in it and rub on a piece of white soap. An eicellent and simple method of mil King a. lamp uiiuw <x guuu, i,iccn light is to place a small lump of gum camphor in the receptacle with the oil. In making a fire, be sure that tha grate is quite clean, and the ash pan emptied and cleared from cinders and ashes so that there will be a free circulation of air. Immerse piece of chamios in cold water, wring out well and rub over woodwork. If any scratches appear apply a little linseed oil with finger lip, after which polish with dry chamois, and result will be very satisfactory. To protect the baseboard of the piano a large sheet of cardboard should be placed in front of it when tne uttie giri is practicing, oue is apt to swing her feet as she sits on the high stool and kick unsightly splotches in the tine polisn. To prevent hardwood floors from being marked cut pieces of thick felt the exact size of the tips of the chairs and fasten on with a strong glue. The felt is far less expensive than rubber tips and will wear much better. Rocking chairs may have a long strip glued on. Uo not scrape the burnt saucepan. Fill it instead with cold water, into which a piece of laundry soap has been dropped, and set it on the side tp boil slowly until the water has nearly boiled away. Refill and let it boil away again. Then clean it with a scrubbing brush and soap. : ? ' * A SLIGHT RESPITE. Rah! With his sunset hose Away he goes - jj To college. With his dinky cap He hits the map For college. With his turaed-up pants He doth advance On college. 'And we'll get a rest ' From his horse-cloth vest And his football hair While he's off there At collecre. ?Louisville Courier-Journal. "I don't like Jigsby. He is alwayj running people down." "Gossip or motorist?"?Baltimore American. Nodd?"At what age are children allowed to act on the stage?" Todd "Oh, anywhere up to seventy-five." ?Life. Star (rapturously)?"The critics all say my work in this new piece is finished." Manager (gloomily)? "They're right. It is."?Baltimore American. Said Richman, "Neighbors, would you thrive ? Then learn of me how two and two make five!" Said Poorman, "Verily, I see, For us poor folk must two and two make three!" ?Richard Kirk, in Lippincotfs. She?"How do you like your part in the new play?" He?"Not for a cent. I die in the first act." She ?"Well, I suppose it had to be you or the audience!"?Judge. Tk n T rfiilu "THJlir T dnn'f Vialiava Jl UO JLvau/ TT U/ X UVU V MVliVf V there are twenty feet of floor space ?and you call It a yard." The Janitor?"Only nine square feet make a yard, madam."?Town and Country. "If elected," said the orator, "it shall be my effort to protect the unscrupulous from the poor and weak '?er?a " The effect of his ringing periods was lost forever.?Puck. Miffkins?"It is said that aggressive, impulsive people usually have black eyes." Blffkins ? "That's right. If they haven't got them at first, they get them later."?Chicago Daily News. "She's really too young to go shopping alone." ."Yes, she is rather impressionable." "Impressionable? How do you mean?" "I mean she's liable to get excited and buy something."?Philadelphia Press. Said a highly intelligent lizard iWho was caught in a summer-time blizzard, "The momeut has come j To nature-fake some. I shall wear an oil stove in my gizzard!" ?Washington Star. "Yes," said the young man, pensively, "a dog I once had saved m> life." "Tell me about it," said the young woman, with eager interest "I sold him for $4," said the young man, "when I was nearly starving." ?Tit-Bits. "After all," said Morrell, "the Almighty Dollar is man's greatest enemy. It is responsible?" "If that's true," interrupted old Roxley, "1 ?ir guess that young wife of mine simply loves me for .he enemies I've made." ?Philadelphia Press. Attendant?"Do you care to purchase that picture, sir?" Visitor? "No thanks. I've got a dozen under my bed already." Attendant?"One more there would't make much difference, sir." Visitor?"All right, then, I'll have it!"?Punch. "Needn't shave my upper lip this time," said Archie, as he took his seat in the barber's chair. "You ma? start a mustache for me." "J can'l do that, sir," said the barber. "I'll let your lip alone, but you'll have tc start the blooming mustache yourself, sir."?Chicago Tribune. "Where is Mr. Middleman?" asked the caller at the broker's office. "1 think he's out on a little matter ol wheat," replied the bright clerk* "Out long?" "Certainly not. If he had been long he would have been in; it's because he was short that he's out."?Philadelphia Press. Gets Four Apples For Rent. Mr. Claiborn, owner of the cider and vinegar works and the sorghum factory east of town, is the man with the best right to lament over the fruit failure. He stated to-day that the i Hfipr and sorehum portion of his mill I will remain shut down for the year, ! the only operation being with grain( Ihftre Is no sugar cane to speak of, and no apples at all. As striking evidence of this latter fact he visited hia farm in Salem Township yesterday. Under the terms of the lease he is to receive "one-half of the apples grown in the orchard" on the place. Hia renter informed him that Mr. Claiborn's share will be just four apples, and inquired whether he wanted them delivered in town or would come after them.?Iola (Kan.) Record. ? Then She Rebelled. I A painfully bashful young man of I Stotesbury, according to me lYausaa City Journal, proposed to his girl by means of a phonograph, to the waxen cylinder of which he had previously told his love. The girl was greatly surprised and not displeased to hear her lover's declaration, but the idea of this betrothal did not appeal to her. Accordingly she sent her little brother with a note, which read as follows: "Dear Sir?If you have courage enough you might come over and tell me what you have to say, but if you haven't, stay at home, for I'll be jiggered if I'm going to be hugged and lfissed by a phonograph if I never get a chance to say 'Yes!' " Life Preserver Seats. Some pleasure steamers on the English coast employ a very good iilea in connection with a few of their deck chairs. They are really air tight boxes to which a back and sides have been added. They stand back to back in tiie middle of tiie deck and are kept together by means of a piece of wood across the top. When this is removed the seats can be opened on hinged. If the vessel got wrecked *' ~ hp ooened and flung nil* 2>CrtUvj overboard, and they would form a buoyant raft for passengers to cling ' Jo ?London Mail.