Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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. THAI AWFUL "THEY SAY" u v c t7 y u # CtOJG* HE box-jawed. steely-eyed ___ V man looked grouchy. A j"* o friend asked him why. Jt "Because, you know," the torf friend said to him, "this grroucbinpss of yours is becoming a iiabir. They say " It was at this instant that be leaped upon his friend in a sudden access of tfury, spun him around, pinned him in !a corner of the room, aud. thus holding .iiirvi ir? r, piao.i!iro exuded the fallowing: : "They Say ?that's the answer. jYou've hit it. "They Say is what's the matter with me. I'm getting tired of beiug hounded. bully-ragged, hectored, pestered land bulldozed by They Say. "Xot that I care the leavings of an omelet souffle in the nethermost depths Jof Tartarus what They Say. What fThey Say doesn't concern me any more tthau the boll weevil concerns the blubl>er-hunting Eskimo or than the summary dismissal order concerns th? iclerk who's got the good eye of a couple of Senators who ataud in. But. all fthe same, They Say anuoys and tantalises me like a bunch of gloatiug house flies on a gummy Washington day in lAugust. "When I say They Say. I mean you. fKA TTnStmncol rtf IJLVHI UCJV/J1? IU CAIU U All. V V4 out V.v.v? garrulous. Loquacious and Gabberifierous They Says, aud I'm a-talking A to Vou! "What difference does it make to me. or to you. or to anybody else one 4 jeightieth of one degree removed from , ia shell fisb. in mentality or a crustacean in self-respect what They Say? | "Hey? "Don't you know that They Say has caused more trouble arwl grief and human misery generally since the beginning of the world than strong drink aud jealousy and battle and murder ami the plague and fire and storm and envy and covetousness and sloth and the devil and all combined? If you don't know it. why don't you? "They Say. hey? Well, what if they Vfc*? Did von (>v??r know a member of ittie Order of They Say to possess the brains of a young turkey in a rain storm? Did you ever lienr of one of the They Says who had enough of the milk of human kindness and charity in his system to make a bread poultice for the wounded fifth rib of a potato bug? Were you ever personally acfluainted with a They Say who wasn't liimself mean enough to swipe the rug out of a swampoodle baby carriage in ,tlie dead of winter? "Did you ever meet up with a They Say, male or female, who did not possess the physiognomical lineaments of ? SftiidnnpsA siminn? i "Aren't you aware of tlie fact that the Order of They Says has got a perpetual charter, issued on the first day of the creation of the Garden of Eden and to endure until the last faint echo of the crack of doom, aud that the They Says are irresistible, incapable of being extirpated or depleted? | "And, inasmuch as the They Says bave always Said It, and will arways 1 go right on Saying It till the last 1 rwhistle has blown, what's the use? "Let 'em Say It! They Say? Who Bays? 1 "They Say is always anonymous. : collective, vague, nebulous, and inevitaiblv a liar. 1 "Thev Say is always possessed of /the imagination of a hasheesh-eater and the pestiferous clackiness of an f iunoiled threshing machine in a hollow {echoing valley. ; "They Say is the dum-dum bullet of ' human speceh. , 1 I "Th?y Say is the rock thrown in the 1 ifflnrk. i "They Say is the intangible Mafia jfcankering the heart of civilization; 1 |5|Iie Black Hand that besmirches the jputcr hide of hurqan sweetness. "They Say is the hooded cobra of feuman society. i "They Say is the sneak that slinks up behind its best friend aud stabs him ( * in the back. I "They Say is the hideous, discordant buzz that foully slays the reputation : bf decent men and destroys the good 1 iaame of women. j "I never hear one of the They Says giving the verbal office of his order , .that I don't, in the ear of the imagina- , tion, detect the yelping of graveyard hyenas in the distance. L ? "They Say -works while the rest of the world sleeps, and They Say Is so J?usy that no man may know when he is liable to meet the askance and aslant glances of his They Say pois- j oned friends. "If I had the commiseration for human woe of that Siddartha who jwas Buddha, the tenderuess of Lincoln. the grave stability of Washington, the chivalry of Chevalier Bayard, the knightliness of King Arthur, the spirituality of St. Augustine, the unselfishness of Damon and Pythias?if I had nil these things wrapped around me . |ike a nimbus or an aureole. d'ye s'pose ife fnr rmo civtoonth nnrt r?P a oonnnrt that kl'd be free from the onnery little underhand wallops of the They Says? i "What's the answer? The answer, ror you and alH>f the rest of the They Bays, is to cash in and quit! Withdraw from the Order of They Says and, If you've got a knocb coming, say it yourself! Don't emit an anonymous knock In the name of the They Says, but, if kou fee) that you've got a knock in ^our midriff that has just naturally got to be let out, why, just skate to the centre, shy your hat on the carpet, take a long breath to give your lungs tree play, and bawL the knock right 'out loud, with all of the power and strength that you can put into it, and M? the name of you yourself?not in the name of the They Says! 1 unTUftn tvAti'tta foalinrr Irn/u^lffch rlnn'f J nutu juun; ictr.tu, ?.~v, v got behind the They Say screeu! Claim fhe knock for your very own, a ad stay jivith it?stand by it! Don't be a hiding knocker! Be a personally-conducted knocker. "If the knock that you think you've hot coming is so uncertain, so secondhand, so unauthoritative, so unidentified, so nebulous that you feel tempted to let it out of your carcass iu the form Df a They Say, just punish the flesh l^T keeping it back of your teeth altogether, and go out autf. get hold of \ : some kind of a knock that you know all about at first band and that you can sling into the general knockfest as an original package! "That's all! Sit right down and send in your resignation from the Order of They Says, and the next time you drop around here I'll listen to you. oven if you hand me twenty thousand knjcka I for myself coming from you as your- ] self. But no more They Says! You t hear?" I The friend heard. The box-jawed. t steely-eyed man released him from his I vise-like grasp, and when he suddeuly t woke up, with the morning sun stream- l ing through the windows, he found s that he had become tangled up with i the bedclothes.?Washington Star. u A DANCER AVERTED * The Story of Two Old Maid* of Sixty Oil il Year*. ? The Misses Malcolm were known to t the little world of which Greenby was ;1 the centre as "the two Malcolm girls." ^ in spite of their gray hairs and sixty odd years. They were also known as the best housekeepers in all the region, and any lapse from the exquisite neat- t ness of their domain seemed to the e Misses Malcolm a terrible thiug. p When Cousin Palmer Malcolm, a j< reckless Western relative, died, the u Malcolm girls started for the Missouri town on tour nours nouce, aiuiuugu. i< they liad entertained thirty-two "Har- g vest Gleaners" the uight before, too. r To Miss Sophronia, the elder, was al- t lotted by mutual consent the task of fi putting the lower rooms in order, so t< far as possible, wlnle Miss Eudora s attended to their bedrooms and their i; simple packing. ii When they were at last seated ia t the train, after a two miles' jolting o ride in the old coach. Miss Eudora no- v ticed that Miss Sophronia'3 face wore a a troubled and anxious look. As e Cousin Palmer Malcolm had been a great trial to the family, Miss Eudora felt that his death could not be the cause of her sister's worry, and after a few moments of silence she decided a to probe the matter. At that very mo- a ment Miss Sophronia spoke. P "Wmlnrn " ?nd lipr tone was one of b distress, "I let Mrs. Goodwin go up P to the spare room just before supper last night to get the measures of our quilt and bolster-spread, and the bell ^ rang while she was measuring, and P she hurried down, leaving the quilt on one of the chairs and two of the curtain shades up to the top. She told me, and I forgot.it. Suppose the house caught on fire while we're gone, and i j1 the neighbors went and saw that quilt Jt on a chair, and all, what would they ?l think of us?" ' Now, Sophronia, you ought to have a trusted me, and not worried," said Miss Eudora, calmly. "Something v me to open that spare-room door the n last thing, and when I saw what a fix 'twas in, and knew I hadn't anotherminute, I just locked the door and put ^ the key iu my pocket, for the thought of fire came to me just as did to you." Miss Sophronia's face cleared. "I'm so thankful," she said, simply. I 01 "I shouldn't have, had one mite of " pleasure or comfort in the journey or IE the funeral if that door had been left gl unlocked." S( f( "And Don't Go Near the Water." j? There lives in Washington a pbysi- r< eian -who has a ten-year-old boy, a boy s of great spirit, but with no overabund- a: ance of strength. Not long ago the boy <r secured his father's permission to join sj a camping party organized by boys in d; the neighborhood; but In the parting in- n structions there was one restriction. "Now, my boy," said the father, "I S( don't wish you to go out in your cousin e( Bob's canoe. He and those other lads s< are quite used to the water, but you 7jl are not; and you haven't as yet learned w to sit still ajiywhere. You'll be with | ti them but a short time, and with the | a [>ther amusements you'll have, you can ! n afford to let the canoe alone this visit, j vv so that your mother will not be worry- I 3 ins all the while you're away." The boy promptly gave the desired promise. On his return he was most enthusiastic with regard to the pleas- e; ures he had enjoyed. n: "Didn't mind not canoeing a bit, f< father," said he. "The only time they pi used the cauoe, anyway, was the last la :lay, to go over to the other shork But si [ remembered my promise, and I ir wasn't going to break it the last min- p ute. So I swam across."?Youth's Com- vv panion. " 01 ___________ ' V | -. No Spelling; For film, "No, I shan't be looking for any ' spelling schools this winter," replied the drummer with a shake of the head. "Last winter, a.* I was loafing around a country town on my route, an acquaintance informed me that an old- ^ fashioned spelling school was to be 11 held that night at a country schoolhouse, and I was invited to go with a c' crowd. Boys aud girls piled into a big w sleigh filled with straw, and I natur- a ally tried to make myself agreeable. ' Before we had gone a mile one young j fellow said that if I didn't quit grin- 1 j-i * KJ.i rtl ?l 1,a'/I nafiwilt trt XT aa r? I ^ uii'S ni "if I"juui inj | and when we got to the scboolhouse i J. another put his fist under my nose and ,fc called me too fresh. ^ "On lop of that I was ass enough to" go in and spell the whole crowd down, and I had to make my escape from the building by a window aud walk four miles through the snow by my lone- ? some. * ] "I used to be fond of old-fashioned I things and the spelling school treaded I the list, but I guess I shall have to cut it out and be satisfied with mince pie I and popcorn."?Chicago News. "Or" Not "And." ! ti People who have bad a wide experi- i n ence with the ordinary summer board- j '1 ing-house in a place where the season , F Is short and hay must be made while e the sua shines have learned not to ex- I n pect too much. There are. however, j p certain limits beyond which economy ( s seldom goes. ! g These limits are evidently unknown I v or disregarded in a mountain resort to a which a meek Bostoniuu lately strayed, r On the morning after her arrival she s stated herself at the breakfust-table r with the hope stirring in her heart of a a meal more geuerous than the last I night's supper. The neat, stern-fea- ;i tured waitress brought her a smull ? saucer of breakfast food, aud bent t over her. v "We have Graham muffins or white v biscuit, ham or eg?s," she said, with 2 a distinctness of articulation which left J no doubt of her meaning.?Youth'3 r Companion. t For (he Home Owner. Here- are a few tilings that all goc lorsemen know: Flesh is not lior Horn is not iron. Horn comes next be flesh. [ron comes next to the hor ron is not organic tissue. Horn irganic tissue. There are no nerves < ilood vessels in iron. But the ordinal ilacksuiith who pounds iron all da ong must not tliinU that horn w! itand. Heating may not hurt iron, bi t does destroy horn." There are i lerves or blood vessels in horn, but 3 very easily injured by agencies <hs rill not injure iron, and any materi: ujury to the horny part of the foot wi ffect the flesh and bone of the foo he parts that are supplied with nerve nd blood vessels and that can becoa tiflamed.?Tribune Farmer. ^Aboiit tho Had|Hi:. If the account of this radish, froi Ur%. r* id nAf m'Mt] uaiuuu iiiu^uuiuw, i?? xaggerated, the seed should be in orted and American lovers of ra< shes given an opportunity lo test it aerits. Picture to yourself a pure white rat ;h the size ot' a baseball or large rm and solid. Such is tbe Japanes a dish. Cut it. and you find it ha he consistency of a Baldwin appl< rm and fine grain; taste, and it prove 3 be away ahead of the most delicat pring radish that ever passed you ps. It will thrive at any season dui 3g the growing year, It may t) ransplanted or left alone, cultivate r uncultivated. It is ns good to e? rhc-n in bloom as in its younger dayj nd one radish will provide bul nough for three ar four people c lore. Buying &n Axe. The essential- points in a good as re (1) good quality of steel in blad nd well and evenly tempered; (21 pr< er shape in the blade so as to get tli est results for the force used; (3) tb oil or back to be smooth and made c tie I'ight weight that the balance c lie axe is rigbt when swinging; (4) tli weight of the axe to oe in proper pr< ortiou to the worker aud user; (i ant the blade is fitted with a suitabl audle. By suitable handle is meani L) one that lias the grain tbe vigl ray; (2) one that is the right shap nd thickness. For the tirst we sai 1 the description of wood wbat thi bou!d be and why so. Right grain is very important in a xe handle for two reasons: First, i ou break it, as you generally do. c ork, you may have to go miles for ew one, and when got lose a lot o me taking the remaftas out and pu ng the new handle in. ? Farmer' [ouis Journal. Seed Growing. The proper behavior for carrots aions aud other plants of a simila ature is to put in their time at grow ig during the first summer. See rowing should be reserved till th icond year, when the roots that ar mnd worthy may be given a ehauc it is desired. Now and then soin >ot will go to seed the first yeai uch seed is not desirable for plautin* 3 it is the result of a tendency to <1'. ?nerate. A crop raised from it woul low a still stronger propensity in thn irectiou, till it would^become an at; ual, which would not be wantec 'ith some plants this tendency is ver irou^ and must be continually guarci 1 against by tbe seed grower. The; *em never to be satisfied with civil ition aud are continually lapsing tc ard their wild state. "Back to u.i ire" is the cry of those wbo advocat return from the city to the country : may do for people, but it is no anted for plants. ? National" Frui rower. Tentlnc the Shoit Feed. Ih the sale of thirty-four steers, a; aging 1313 pounds, on the C'hlcng larlcet, at $."5.00, a very timely cattl eding experiment by the Illinois Es eriment Station was terminated, r< ites the Tribune Fanner. Tiles ;eers were bought oa the Chicag larket the last week in August. A urcbased they were fleshy feeder.' eighing 1073 pounds, and cost $4.2 a the Chicago market, and have bee >d for ninety days. Professor Mumford, associated wit [. 0. Allison, a senior student in th ollege of Agriculture, wbo is to us le records of the experiment stalio Native to this lest as a basis for rnduatiou thesis, planned this exper lent, as being one which would b kely to appeal to a large number o lttle feeders throughout the country 'ho have tried a similar experimeii nd who are not in a position to kno\ ;curately the results of their work. Tue cattle were fed in two lots, botl owever. receiving similar ration: hich consisted of corumeal, oilmes nd clover hay. One lot received tlies :eds after the common method of fee< lg. while for the other lot the dove ay was .chopped (cut into two-inc ugtbs by being run through an ord ary ensilage machine at a cost o bout $L a ton) and mixed with th rain part of the ration. This mixe ?ed was then fed in a self-feeder, t Kill MHIn hflil "it fill time. The Maintenance Ration. The Wisconsin station lias mad ome interesting experiments whic eem to show that tlie maintenance r; ion may vary with the age of tlie an ial. conditions of shelter, care, e(< 'his experiment deals with. ma tut oland-China and Berkshire sow ight weeks alter weaning their li srs. Tbeir average weight was 37 ouuds. Their feed consisted of con borts. oil meal and skim milk. Of tli ;rain an average of 3.5-t pounds dail i:as required and of tbe skim milk a verage of 7.1 pounds to -uaintai r eight. L'er 100 pounds weight < ow tbe average of grain was .95' lound and of skim mill: 1.0HA pound i total of 2.87 pounds per itm pounc ive weight. This was found to he il; iver.ige maintenance ration of tl usr'? I)reel sows of the weight givei sow, with the scrubs, it was soin vhat different. In the experimei rere four razorbaclc saws. a vera gin ?0 pounds. They ale an average ( 1.10 pounds grain and G.3 pounds mil >er day. Per 100 pounds of live weigl hey ate 1.4L pounds grain and 2.5 pounds milk per day. a total of 4.2'J >d pounds against a total of 2.S7 pounds n. per 100 pounds of live weight in the to improved breeds. So according to this n. it costs more to keep a scrub sow than is it does a pure bred one, which is an5r oLher point added' -JV the many which y prove to farmers''that they should iy keep nothing but A1 stock.?Weekly ill Witness. Lit 10 The Corn riant. 't Reliable figures show the greni feedit ing value of the hard lower end of the corn plant generally known as the h stubble, a part usually discarded or t, thrown to the hogs, but which, if prop's erly prepared, would add much value ie to the food supply. It is estimated that the top part of the corn fodder contains less food value than the lower part of {he stubble and that fifty-two 31 per cent, of the food value is in the 'y plant and but forty-eight per cent, in the ears. Moreover, the digestible contents are much greater in the lower :s stubble than in the main stalks farther up or in (he leaves. The reducing of this stubble to a r< condition so (bat the cows can eat it ie readily is where the great value of 18 the shredder 'comes in, but with the majority of farmers the old-fashioned :s cutter must take the place of the :e shredder. As an experiment the writer ir took an old and very dull ax and bro!;e l'* to silvers a lot of corn stalks, particu'e larly the lower part, usually thrown d away. This mass was thoroughly 't moistened in vater which was quite warm, covered thickly with. wheat k bran and offered the cows. They ate ,r it with much appetite, although they had previously partially discarded the fodder thrown into the mangers in full ' length. They had become tired of the corn stalks fed in the old way, but were glad to have it Avhen presented ^ in a new form, just as we humans like our accustomed Looas prepared wiru i 9 more or less variety.? Indianapolis [ ' News. if e Catand Ground Alfalfn. ' la a few instances we boar that alf>) alfa Iiay when dried is cut in short < * bits by the cutte^ and then run through the corn mill and made into meal wliich lt is mixed with cornmeal and so fed to l<? hogs. the reason for this being that N hogs not used to alfalfa will not eat lS it readily when only cut. but will when mixed with cornmeal. It is stated that n an experiment in which ground alfalfa if cut in half-inch lengths for fattening lt pigs was recently made by the Colora ado Experiment Station, It required 4.77 pouuds of corn and alfalfa mixed c" at the rate of three pounds of corn to s one of alfalfa to produce one pouud of gain, while 4.81 pounds of corn and ground alfalfa mixed in the proportion of three parts of corn to on? of alfalfa ' .were eaten for oue pound of gain, not r countiug labor. r- n {-.in onil TV 1IU LUC ailUJLa Luniui^ ipu u ivu i?uvt ^ ground alfalfa $1G a tou, the cost of e producing 100 pounds of gain with the 0 former was $2.(52 and with the ground p alfalfa $3.12. With corn and cut aif0 alfa fed iu equal parts by weight, the r- cost of producing 100 pounds of gain ? was $2.72. With corn and pround alfalfa fed in equal parts by weight the ^ cost Vas $o.06. * These results go to show that at the l" prices quoted alfalfa is more economical to feed than ground alfalfa, and y that a rationcousistingof three-fourths corn and one-fourth alfalfa is cheaper V thau one consisting of half corn and | l' half cut alfalfa for fattening pigs. Grinding alfalfa is an expensive prol" cess, and it is doubtful if machinery 0 can be improvised which will grind it as cbenply aS it can be ground by au !t animal.?farmer's Home Journal, it # Tho Cntse of Acre*. For years we have been accustomed to reading and hearing of those who '* hare been land poor. How often wo 0 learn of some one who has had some very unpleasant dealings with tho she/iff who, after it is too late, openiy | ' acknowledges that such would not have i e heen the case had he not been pos0 sesved of so much land. A writer in 8 the National Stockman in speaking 01! 'j this subject of being 'Maud poor" says: ' "Many a . man is burdened unneces- i n sarily by the ownership of too many acres of land. The desire to extend *l one's business and K) have income in0 creased is natural. In the case of tho 0 farmer this desire takes practical " form in the purchase of more land very a often when it should be in the iml~ proveraent of (he land already owrfed. e I believe I have met personally 1000 farmers who were making the mis * take of striving to be owners of more land than they should own. The evi v denco was seen in the neglect of the opportunities offered by I he farm, ot by straining under a load of debt, de ' priving themselves and family unduly l! for the sake of an expected reward ia 0 the future. 1- "There is a vast amount of land in r America whose nature and surroundll ings are such that it will give satisfactory returns only when farmed by (he ll owner, and in large part with home p labor. In fact, there U iitll^ laud outd nf Hip fertile black soil of the corn 0 licit, or of the districts peculiarly 5- adapted to a cash crop of unusual profitableness, that can lie made to yield a good net income when all the labor is hired, aud the farm usually owes much of its desirability as an investment to the fact that it provides employment for ail members of the owner's family, and rewards the skill j 0 of interested workers according to s their special skill and industry- if J pendence were placed entirely upon ? hired labor, in Lhe field and in the 3> farm home, ninety per cent, of the 10 farms outside the districts named? y those having woudrous fertility or a " special crop of unusual profitableness 11 ?would not pay as investments, >f 'A Health and Stupidity. s. Commenting on a recent debate at Is the Ivotith Education Council, the Kov.' le T. C. Simmonds, Vicar of Craiulhorpe," le says; "I drew attention to the very' n l'irsro number of wonle distinguished o- for ainaziug bodily constitutions and': it stupidity, also to several friends of ig tuine distinguished for high mental at-' )f tainuients coupled with weak health. Ik and concluded therefrom that 'health it and stupidity jo together.' "?London Jl Chronicle. > =-? ?: "t : : PECULIAR. WAS The Automobilist?'"Funny tliey do They're horribly bumpy."?Tatler. PIE-MflKING BY MACHINERY. Another severe blow for the arts and crafts has resulted from the arrival in Philadelphia of the pie-making machine. It has always been supposed that making pies was a work for human fingers. Despite the inroads of machinery on ithe crafts, the pie artisan has stood alone, untouched by modern inventiveness. It was thought that a pie was too complicated and individual a creation ever to be produced by brainless mirers and trimmers and stampers. Now comes this pie-making machine, to standardize the pie and destroy its Individuality and then to multiply and cheapen it. One man, three boys and the machine turn out from sixteen to .:U t ^ r%IAf. r? mimtfA !n fh/i eiKUltrcu yico a uimua- iu mv. j. phia bakery where the pioneer maahine has been installed. The inventor describes bis contrivance as a boon to tbe buman race, about ten feet long and twenty inches wide. An electric motor furnishes power apd a gas jet keeps tbe forming dies warm. Over the machine is suspended a tank with "filling" for 400 pies and in it an agitator revolves to keep the material from blocking the outlet. After the paste for crusts has been properly mixed It is weighed and cut into proper sized pieces by a dough divider. A tray full of lumps of dough for bottom crusts is nlaced at one end >f the machine and another tray, confining lumps for top crusts, at the ?ther end. At the rear is a stack of plates automatically fed by a ratchet. k magnetized arm swings around, )icks up a plate and places it on a die nacle to receive it A piece of dough MAKING PIE ts placed on the plate and the next movement brings it under a die which forms the lower crust. Then the fruit is deposited from the tank and the ~ 15 tt fhie Mmp an pia.lt? luuvca iviinuiu. uj iu>? other lump of dough has been flattened out and stamped with an initial?such as "L." for lemon?while an automatic bellows blows a puff of flour over tha dough to keep it fro: i sticking. The next movement brings the filled pie and this upper crust together, one operator beiug stationed here to adjust the top cover if necessary. Then the covered pie comes under the edging die. which cuts off all scraps and the pie passes forward on an apron which leads to the oven. So the process goes ou with all regularity until 400 pies are lined. They are all perfect?too perfect, perhaps. They are machine-made, and no contaminating hand* has touched them from their initial stage of doughlness until they are ready to be taken from the oven?and therein lies their chief virtue.?Scientific American. Hnntinc and Kent Care. Several young married wonieu, ticketed as "smart." have adopted a simple form of rest cure, which they practice when settled'in their winter hunting quarters. After a hard day's run 'and they often huut five times a week) fhey ride home, have tea and a bath, go straight to bed. and eat their dinaers safely tucked up in their "downies." This meaus re3t and sleep for perhaps tourceeu uuui?.-uuuuvu Ladies' Field. Hi# Progr***. "When I started iu life," said the Cniquitable Insurance director, "I flidn't have a dollar I could call my own." "And now?" "[ have managed to call a lot of money my own, although there is a treat deal of dispute about it."?WashLofton Star. N'T IT? VERY. n't keep these roads in better shape. | INDICATES EXCESSIVE HEAT. Prompt indication of fire generallj means its early extinction, and an audible signal^ some sort is the onlj ] fak i , ?? ' INDICATES EXCESSIVE HEAT. N ? : one that can be relied upon invariably to attract attention A novel alarm of this class that has been worked out in detail by an inventor provides for detonating a fulminate charge whenever excessive heat becomes apparent in any part of a mill or storehouse. This explosion attracts the attention of the watchman and leads him to look for the source of trouble, and in this way may avert disastrous Hi BY MACHINERY. fires. The fulminate can be disposed in any convenient receptacle, metallic and waterproof if necessary. The detonation is effected by the release of a spring coii, or other resilient member, brought about by the ftising of an alloy which normally holds the spring or striker, or the burning of a combustible bond. One of the features of the device is the ease with which it mow ho f.nnlltvi f-n unv r>oint" reauir I ing no connection with any wires, pipes, or other devices. Echo of tbe Florae Show. An enterprising uptown dealer in "haml-me-dowu" garments from the world of society availed himself of the Horse Show week to advertise as follows: "You 'phone me. ladies, if you are saddled with more clothing, furs, laces, diamonds, jewelry, etc.,. than you require, or if your income has a bridle on it, and I will call, prepared to pay you full value for same, a good bit, in gold, without publicity. Through established association and old acquaintance, my patrons and patronesses are familiar with the fact that I only catei! to the best clientele. All merchandise handled by me Is dependable iu ever? respect. I offer special values at popular prices. Idany of my goods ara frequently aired on upper Fifth aveuue."?New York Press. GlaM Umbrella*. The latest adjunct to glass novelties is the glass umbrella, which is covered with "silk" spun from glass. These umbrellas, oe course, will afford no protection from the rays of the suu; bu( tbey possess one obvious advantage? namely, that they can be held in front of the face when meetin? the wind and rain, and at the same time the usei' will be able to see that he does not run into unoffending individuals 01 lamp-posts.?Chicago Journal. ??? ^ ^91 Candid. I cannot sine the old songs naif \ $9 That oft of yore I'd chant; . Y 1 And all who ever heard'me 'sing V -flB Thank heavea that I can't. V ? . -r.'MI ?San Franciaco GUI* Superfluous Qaestloa. . ,^| "Do you tip *he waiter when jvbl dine?" 1 va "Do I look starved?" ? Milwaukee ll Sentinel. 1 She "lnjoyi Poor Health." ,'^J Hewitt?"I? your wife well and hap* ,'tjH Jewett?"She is never happy when; L. ? . 'jm she ifl well." , '{'&M Sooceedod. . m "My wife married aae to spite sous* v*i body." 3 "Who via it?" "Me, 1 think."?Otevrtaad Leadeir,. j P?aurtoai. J| Stella?"Is Mabel irtiogy?" -"V Bella?"Awfully. I insisted for twe&i .!$1 ty blocks that she allow toe to pay tfee -:?J1 car fare, and she did."?New York So* Kvideutly. Captain Longaway?"Did thatprettj Mrs. Young ever get over'her hto? ' ^ 1 band's death?" I Bob Innocent?"Which one?her first;' >J1 J or second?' " ?; la It? ' *?*, H "Well, we've got the bosses, up tt .J Have, eh?' j "Belcher life." 1 | i "Sure it am t a pium irr^: . Acron th? Htyi. v.vsaH "I see," remarked the Shade blandly, I : "that I have just-been awarded a tab- ' ' toIJ i let in the hall of fame." J "Indeed," rejoined the other. "WhU ;t| is your influence ?"?Washington Star*: ' -'jS Not Profitable. ?B "Of course, the professor i& a pretty shabby old fellow, but he understands 1^9 at least a dozen languages." I "H'm! but he doesn't hoar monef talk in any of them." ? Philadelphia. ^9 Fuamk'i Motto. . J "Here is the motto selected for thtf C Panama Canal," said the man whe '^ | reads the papers. "Listen: The land >? divided: the world united.'" ^ "Huh," declared' the pessimist, "if should be 'Get in and dig.' " ; ' j Jait ? SUjht Jolt. I Miss Cutting?"Some men are as easyf to read as a book." ? Sapleigh?"Yaws, I pwesume so. Bat can you?aw?wead me that way?" I Miss Cutting?'"Of course not. Irearf 1 you like a paragraph."?Columbus Dm ^ Strontly Re?otrimend*d. - Ji "And what recommendations has thif J L man whom you are pushing to vigor* j 1 ously for the presidency of our insun s||| ' ance company?" I "He is an unmarried orphan with im| J brothers or siBters."-^Cleveland Plain ] Dealer, The Kjrnl||oB jlavMt * v-ijjl Achilles was bemoaning his Tulner? -|s able heel. j "That's nothing," they assured ftlmj J "suppose the faculty had dropped yon $8 from the eleven for poor scholarshipT !M *"* uu t? +K/v si a n<ydr aI ' tierewnu ue ix-nu4cu iue possible death was a mere trifle. ] Conserratlve Bat Efficient. ,'Jj "What did you do about those colon* izers that conspired to corrupt the bat lot of Crimson Gulch?" "We held 'em till the census could bt took," answered Piute Pete; "an' tbea I turned 'em over to the law and 'rJa I committee."?Washington Star. ,.i Careful Girlie. - j "These newspaper statements that IT only knew my liusband for one daj ?, .Jfl before our mawiage are all nonsenseJf declared the heroine of the latest; eensi/ tional elopement. ' / "Then you really knew him longerfl * "Why, of course. I knew him twd weeks." . ; ;' . " . J A Sop to CerbaraM. 3 Citiman?"What have you on thaf placard?" " Subbubs?"IFs a motto. 'Down wit* Norway.'" . ' Citlman?"What do you care about ' Norway?" Subbubs ? "Oh, I've just hired & Swede cook." ' Poudr? Ris. " rH Lieutenant Dashleigh?"I can't think why all the girls make such a hero 01 Captain Jiggers. Why, he's nevei smelled powder." J M Major Juggins?"Oh, I don't know, He's been out in the conservatory with Miss Puffer for an hour this evening.^ I /-II 1? ?.l r uHaf Vjjj ?OitJ V I'laiiu Jucauvi, M. .-M Xh? Point of Flow. ' 1 "Henry, if I were a young man lilt* you and expected to have to make my own way in the world some daj\,l . should try to make my expenses com? .within my income." . ' % "Father, if [ were as rich as yon arj and had only one son I'd try to brin4 hi3 income up to his expenses."?Chi cago Tribune. HU Adjective Falls Him. ^ "How were the acrobats at tbe eta cus?" we asked of tbe New York man. ' % "Fierce." ' "And tbe baxeback riders?" ^ } "Ob. fierce." ~>|8| "And .the clowns?" "fierce." "And the animals?" "Pier ? no, they were sleepy oltf i brutes." -^gj The Brljjlit Side. ' I > "Yes." replied tbe cheerful man, "bul j 1 it is not bitlf so bad as it might hav^ A : been." "[ don't see bow it could l/e mud : worse," exclaimed his friend. "Why," was the answer, "just think what might have been done If all th^ \ \ members of the McCurdy family had ' been twins."?Duluth News-Tribuua 1 4-?