Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

} J . A DREA r DAWN. ... .... The bush of the after-midftight. As the footsteps wax and wane. la the startled awe of a lifeless moor ? i 'Neath the drip-drip of the rain, rj' swell of the dawn's first traffic | is the moan of a rising gale. And the sigh of the waking sleeper is A* the first breath in the sail. DAY. ' The clamor of noonday stirring , Is the echo of Nature'.? voice. Beating gray shores with her miglity flail. While the battling waves rejoice. RB& And ever the million faces? Bar And none of tbem known "to me? Can conjure the thought, of a castaway ' (un tuat reienuess ?ea: ?Stephen C ..METER, THI By Fisher M flSl ItaiOTIMIAH chanted. "Metet. I- (Ha HHI ibly peeuk nahme!" Qlt was no alleviation to Metek's anguish that there [Bp HI] were no human ears to hear the tormenting words, oxecpt those in the four forlorn igloos that broke the white level of the fore stiore like snow blisters. ri? a i-K^v nn/1 rrAQC suame travels uu iat? > ? mu, .mu j,vt? one cannot tell -where. The things that live in the cold blue ravines of the great bergs always hear of it when a ^ man is nahme; the evil spirits ^ of the ciiffs and those that dwell in the caves under the ice-belt hear of it. And when a man is thus marked, sooner or later he goes forth from the viltage never to return. For the mighty help only the strong. The Arc. tic has small use for a ma a who is nahme. She blots him out. Ever since his father had been caught in his ussuk liue and dragged under the floe, Metek had tried manfAi? htc mnMior find I tuilj IU f/iutiuc ivi UW U!Vi*.v? baby sister. But fortune had been against him. For two months the family had lived on charity, and this during a winter of unprecedented ^ .want. W The three men of the tiny village never asked lilm to go hunting: with " tliem now. They paid less attention to him than to little Tooky, still cradled ia her mother's hood. They spoke to Ootimiah. on the contrary, as one man to another, and Ootimiah was barejy a year older than ^ Metek. But Ootimiah, the lucky, had brought two seals home to thij fam J is'ued mouths. ' Thns Metek pursued his despairing thoughts in a circle, and although they sometimes swirled up so thick and l>!ack and angry that he yearned to strike at Ootimiah with his keenest lance, he kept doggedly at his work. Every day h<? wont forth on his vain excursions ovrr the floe, or climbed to the ice-cap of the cliffs to inspect his fox traps. The day came, however, when Metek turned on his tormentor. "Silence, lump of fat!" he shouted. His eyes glittered dangerously.-."Put ' the dogs to thy sledge and we will see who is nafcme. .We wilt come back :witb meat or not at aU." Ootimiah stared at him like an apprehensive dumpling. Underneath his furs ^ his mean Hi tie heart hounded at this surprising outbreak. He had thought that Metek was cowed by adversity. "Ho!" he said, when he had recovered himself somewhat. "If you are i 4 so hungry I -will make you eat your | words. Th?>n you will have plenty of 1 wind in the belly, which is filling." | He laughed unctuously at his joke, I but at the same time he fastened the n three best dcgs of his father's pack to Eft the light sledge of pieced bone, and forced his rotund person into more furs, until his coats lay upon him like SH the shards of an onion. Also he put BnH .under-the sledge apron two strips of iblubber and a frozen sea flipper, which iH is excellent.to.gnaw on. Ootimiali be3|K iioved that Met'ek was ''bluffing," but lie wished to make sure of catching UlB Jiijn. IMetek's ir.othor. merely grunted, and itook a fresh *;rip "with her bare toes oii iue stiff reindeer skin she was sewing when Mo.tok bade her good-by. He crawled out. through the tocksoo and jumped on his sledge as cheerfully as if he expected to see her again. The sunlrss winter sky hung over them, and it was piercing cold; but the air was still. The granulated surface of the floe afforded the dogs a firm foothold. Ootimiah tried to entice Metek into a race; but when the latter refused to force his team, hp lolled back against the upstan?UTK and crooned fatly to hiofself, thinking how he would jeer at Metek whrn the excursion was over. At noon tliry halted for a rest. Ootimiah gluttonously bolted his blubber, but Metek gave the larger part of his scanty stor k of provisions to his dogs. "Huh!" grunted Ootimiah. looking with scornful <-yes at this proceeding. <:Yoti have only a woman's heart. Tomorrow you will be whining for food." L " 'Tis not 1 who drags the sledge," Kd Metek. "A good huuter cares for K dogs first." B^otimiah. ft ill scornful, tucked himBif snugly into the'sledge and cracked Q|^KS|^^whip. HBBmB the afternoon wore on. the ice rougher. Here and there the M^3gn?|Hiud squeezed and forced up great of crystal; but lanes of level between, and the dogs went |H^9BoHy forward. H^H^Pkc rode. Ootiroiah's glance swept 1 gray expanse. There was not a P?ck or a i;oie to oe seen, the dead Rund of tho ilo.irs* feet told his experienced ear that tho ice had thickened. Pale spots in the dusk ahead betrayed the presence of brigs. Bleak and drear as it was about Ibe igloo village, this twas a region still more inhospitable. Toward night the wind rose. Ootimiah, who was- bored, began to feel cold and uneasy. He blew out hi| ; Cheeks to warm them, and now an* . then he glamed curiously at Metek. He had not expected to find his companion so obstinate. When they ramped for the night in Ithe lee of a hummock. Ootimiah thought it was the last half of the \ M CITY. DUSK. I pass by the perfumed women ' And the flowers all breathe of dusk: The rustling robes stir i^-mories Of the laud breeze thrc li tlie musk. The things that dance by wie lamp glar Bring moths to my candle light. And the cries of the jibbering city shrill _ Like forest, sounds by night! THE NIGHT. But the moon on the sleeping city? (Hush, word that would thought co fine)? The glory of silver'd castles rising Up in enchanting line! The paths of light at the cross streets Are the road where the hosts have troc And the gleams of fire on the window falchioned Sentinels of God!^ 'halmers, in the New York Times. t PROVIDER. Ames. Jr. siiiiSiii iiiSSSllS game. Surely Metek would cry off i the morning. Then be, Ootimial would have his laugh again, and n sumo his insulting chant with ne1 zest. He did not feel like laughing nov There was a sense of something in th air that cowed him. It seemed i him, although he could not see then that black storm-clouds were stcalin in from the sea and massing overheac that the sky was> setting its scener for one of its sudden dramas. That night the great skin that hold back the north winds burst, and ; blew as if it meant to strip the.worl of its atmosphere. The bitter edaie and back-drafts caught at the sledge till they jerked frantically at the! lance anchors, and the reindeer robe broke loose many times from under th boys' bodies. While the wild air tore above then underneath the sea surged in its dee bed, thrusting upward against the flo with mighty shoulders. Swift shiver ran through the ice. It groaned an boomed with the tumult of a battle field. Now, with a noise of thundei wide chasms opened and the whit water gushed out, seething. Nov With a slow, grinding roar, a pressur ridge would lift its long- rampavt acrps the ice. But dominating all othe storm sounds was the cannonade of tb bergs as they hulled their thouxand-to blocks crashing upon the floe. Poor Ootimiab prayed to the thing that haunt their ravines that the would spare hiui. His belief in tb efficiency of his prayers was not grea but they were straws, at least, a which to clutch. The black morning found the win still blowing a gale, and sweeping wit it a veil of cutting snow. It was mac ness to go on 111 the te^th of such storm, with no food for themselves 0 for the dogs. "What shall wo do?" asked th frightened Ootimiuh. '-Even the brow anuk himself, could not face sue weather." "We will go on," said Metek, trar qullly, and he threw out the long whij lash. Its report was lost in the roa of the wind. Dimly Ootimiah began to perceive th presence of a master spirit. -,'Thi Metek, younger than himself, whom h had called nahme, had set his teeth i a purpose, and neither cold nor hunge nor the dark wings of death itsel would cause him to relax his hold. The mere inkling of such tenacit alarmed flabblv littlp Ootimiah nlrno* as much as the riot of the element: The blue and white fox-skin jumpereven the waving fox-tail which Mete held between his teeth to protect hi face from the wind?assumed an ur cannlly unfamiliar aspect. This wa not the Metek he had known, thi squat, silent thing that made him fe< more alone than he had ever felt whe hunting by himself far out on the floe. Fear swelled in his heart, and h urged bis dogs forward till they rail a one team with Metek's. "Come back! he shouted through the roar of win and Ice. Metek turned his head. The rim o his hood was feathered thick wit frost, and his eyes shone like crumb of new ice. Silently he stretched mittened hand toward the north. From the lofty cliffs inland a sudde great sound greeted them. It rollet majestic, over their heads, and die gradually away far to the eastward. " 'Tis the anuk thing!" siioute Metek. "He is calling to his childrei Onward!" (Jotimiah .bad lieard of the colosss genius of the walrus tribe that lives o the tops of bare and beetling cliffs He had no desire to make his at quaintance. "Die if you -wish!" h called, shrilly, to Metek. "I am goin back. There is nothing here but icc devils and that beast thing that be witches men." He swung his dogs -about, and the came willingly. As they straightene out on the homeward raid, he cast last look at the squat, purposeful bac in the foxskin jumper. Then the dart ness blotted it out. The anuk thing did not speak agaii but Metek knew that he was tber< watching him with friendly eyes. H was sure the creature was beneficen when presently the confusing sno^ ceased to fall. In the darkness 1) couiu. iee? now me ciear arcn 01 xu frozen sky, a vast bubblo of blac steel under which the laboring ic-e rar clanging. The hunters never left the igloo when the floe was squeezing, bu Metek was not afraid. He had onl one thought?to redeem himself an bring back meat to his starving peopli On he drove, his gaze fixed on tb pale outlines of a vast berg, whic seemed to stretch an impregnable bai vJai* o/itacc! Hie nofh Ac lia nroi nearer he heard the sinister chant c the wind moaning through its shar notches. And all at once his ea caught a gruff, explosive, puffin sound. Rising to his knees, he looked foi -a-ard. A long, dark discoloration la at the foot of the berg. It was fres black ice making over a recent brea in the floe. With a shout he let out hi iong whip-lash. Metek drove as near as he dare( I and tethered the does to a projection of the floe. Then he gathered lip his weapons and: went on, crouching, toward the discolored area. It. was newer than he had thought, and bent like stiff leather under his e feet; but lie kuow its toughness, and , glided rapidly forward toward the j jagged hole which the game had just left. Presently the spot of open water was agitated. It darkened, and then the r*' broad, bristled muzzle and white tusks of a great bull anuk appeared. The' big, circular eyes fixed themselves ] . upon Metek in a wide stare of surprise. aj !' Metek slowly raised his left arm vv< ' and pointed at tbe walrus, who. full of curiosity, reared his huge bulk above the water. When the pale spot beneath his left flipper was visible, Si Metelc's right arm shot forward, and ? the-harpoon flew true to its mark. The hull dived with a sputtering roar. . Metek darted back with the end of the-line, and swiftly drove into the' \ 9 ice the. iron-pointed stake to which it I was fastened. -.Then,. with both feet, .Q lie stood upon the line, close to the ( little stake. The tough strip of sealskin straightened wjtli a jerk, and lay taut as a bowstring; but the ingenious anchor held. Metek watched it with a keen and anxious eye. The moment he saw u the strain relax, he plucked up the stake and carried it to a new spot some yards away. w He wa# none too quick. Two furious cows rose just beneath the stand lie 7' had left, shattering the ice to bits. To e their bellows of wrath Metek respond0 ed with a mocking shout; but for the bull he reserved a sharper welcome. , % Lance in hand, he met the anuk as ^ it rose in a smother of effervescing y water, and as it strove to charge at him through,the ice, breaking off great ;s tables with its tusks, be darted: swiftly : w' ^ about, in front of the beast.' ' With j*n ^ 'every .forward leap he thrust the-keen,'; ? fleam-shaped blade deep into the'un- au s wieldy body, until the water turned lr red. !S Spent and badly wounded, the walrus 01 e sank at last, and Metek sprang again to his stake. -*1 Five times he shifted liis ground, P and five times the belligerent cows **r( e broke through the ice almost under u 8 his feet. But luck was with him. Wet j1.1 d with salt spray and blood, he rejoiced 3 1 in the fight. r? "Am-na-yah! Am-na-yah!" he shout- P1!1 e ed. "Meat for the mother and the .. 'r> Iw ho n-iMtin tlio linnfl Meat for the ^ p strong, hunter! Heat from the. hand of ? ;S -Metek iiah'me?!'V T The ice spit upward and almost let e him fall on the fat, wrinkled, nape of. n one of the cows. By a miracle of agility he lanced her deep behind the :s shoulder and got away. Almost si J muitaneously mo Dun rose, ana ne e found himself between the two. the water gushing up about his ankles. lt Metek struck the bull across the face, blinding him for the moment, and ran ^ over the strip of.bending ice toward k a lighter, firmer patch. Ou this he stopped with an agile turn. a. The cow seemed hit in soma vital 'r part, for she spun in an aimless circle on her broad belly; but the bull was ? still full of fight. 11 As the vicious creature charged 11 through the ice Metek struck twice with a true aim. The anuk gave a l" last bellow, slipped* back, and floated, > a bloated brown island, among the . r rocking ice cukes. Metek could hardly restrain himself a from leaping upon it and cutting off a s long-heeil&d strip of biubber; but it e was not his own mouth he had come n to All. While there was a chance to r secure more meat he must think neither f of hunger nor of weariness. Almost exhausted, he staggered back y to the cow, and delivered a fiftal lance 11 thrust that despatched ner. men wun * his knife he made incisions in the two inch-thick skin of his prizes and tethk ered tbeni to stakes by means of a 3 pair of ussuk lines. l' After that three dogs and a tired 8 but happy Eskimo had a glorious 8 feast. So royally did they stuff themselves that for two hours not one of 11 the four could move a foot. like noble Romans, they reclined rotundly upon e .their table and sent up sighs of reples tion and thanksgiving, while the anuk thing brooded benignly over tbem from d his stronghold. Packed at last between the hot f chunks of walrus fat, Metek swung his whip over the dogs, and his homeward 8 run began. a Well paid he felt for Lis painsi He saw the hungry*mouth3 o* his people n once more luxui-iously besmeared with 1. grease. And the boasting Ootimiab! d Where was he? Twenty-five hundred pounds of rich walrus flesh against d two stringy little seals! Who could i- cry nahme now? "Ho!" sang Metek. "The hunter re- _ il turns. Hunger flies before him. They n anuk lies behind his sledge. Red meat 5. and white fat. Ho! Who will oat? -* Metek, the provider, returns!"?Youth's 'U* e Companion. America and Koine. r< >. With idleness and luxury went the tll< usual tendency to brutality and demor- w' v alization. The .historical novel was not d invented; so that Roman ladies and a gentlemen could not sit by the fire of ^eb an evening and read highly-spiced nar- otr rative3 of murder and torture. But, f after all, the incidents of the arena, 'p1 thfumh loco T-irioh worn npr)mn<5 pvph i, more piquant than Mr. Kipling or Sir. e 'Jack London. Social morals, too, were au it of a quality which seems only too apt v to accompany the highest civilisation, e Divorce was almost as easily obtained ( e as in some of our Western States, and ^ k nearly as common. Cicero, for iui, stance, was separated from two wives; p yet he was universally regarded as of f is stainless character, and that he was ?r( it wise is shown by his remarking, when y rrged to marry a third time, that "it 11 aJ d is difficult for a man to devote himself ?. ?t once to a wife and to philosophy."? J*1 e Gamaliel Bradford, Jr., in the Atlantic. h ^ IjPi Cat Had the Toothache. v N. C. Yost, cashier of the 'Markle 1,10 if Bank. Hazleton, is the owner of a ^ p handsome pet cat, which in the past "_e ,r few days gave indications of suffering g ii*?nsepain. Mr. Yost, whotreceived the cat from , ' Iffr a friend iu the West, objected to ha v~ y ing it killed, and summoned a veter- . h inary surgeon. The veterinarian found \ k that the cat was suffering from tooth- .? is ache. He extracted three bad teeth, 'y and pussy is now purring in content" ^ I, ment?Philadelphia Public Ledger, New York City?The loose coat is ways a favorite one with many >u ond suits some figures better ry other sort, iu addition to Jich it is easier to slip on .and off d involves less difficulty in the makj. than do the fitted ones. Here is exceedingly desirable model that .11 ue lUUICU 1U vuyuc UUIIU^ luc tu e winter, botli for the coat suit and r the separate wrap, and whiqli is ite appropriate for all suitings, oadcloth, cheviot, homespun and the :e, and also for the cloakings that 5 preferred for the all-round wrap, this instance the color is black and i material English kersey, simply tched with belding silk, but color as (11 as material is a matter of personal Terence and need. Dhe coat is made on quite simple es, consisting of fronts aud backs Eton Jacl d is finished at the neck wilh the julatiou collar and lapels. The clos* is made invisibly by means of butl-holes in a fly, and the sleeves are ? favorite oues of the season that ? full at the shoulders and plain at i wrists, whare they are finished til the roll-over cuis that are very nerally becoming. When liked the ;!ar can be of velvet, but there is a 1 euliar smartness foufid in the use one material throughout. rht? niiMfirifv nf material required r the medium size is four aud oue,rhth yards twenty-seven, two and .-ee-quarter yards forty-four or two d one-eighth yards fifty-two inches de. Srcret ot Stylo. L girl sees a pretty fashion plate, e has it copied by a good dressmalcThe dress is put on, It is good and lensive, but where is the style? The arer is young; sho has a pretty face, liat is it that makes her look ordi:y, comiuonpiaee? She stoops. Anier girl has an inexpensive dress, e Lias such a look cf thoroughbred it if she speaks people listen. At h turn of her head one sees a new | mty in lift* face. Wherever she ve? our eyes follow lier. What is which makes all she wears look II? It is the true dignity and ease her carriage. Vithout a good carriage a pretty >e is thrown away, the,most perfect >ss cutting and fitting are thrown ay, eveu refinement of manner is Idea under a bushel. To carry herf well is almost the only personal tinctiou left to a womau. It posinltarj hap frlirPS. With the ad erect, the cliest expanded and the 1 wl' ... * ' - - A .jlAfJ.' / hack toeth slightly set together?keeping the mouth open accompanies stooping? tho chin gains decision, the upper lip shot-tens and really the nose straightens. Lingerie Blouaen to Stay. It is decreed that lingerie blouses are to be worn until winter, and more than possibly throughout'cold weather. For the latter they,are to be.furnished with plain India silk underslips that will serve as linings, making them warm enough, for .tlx? hoqs(i,au(Lfor,the streets when fur jackets are worn. Fall Heret Crown. A toque with n full beret crown le built up of a deep mordore brown velvet and trimmed with wings of a cop per hue set outside the brim at the back and on the left side. Both these toques are raised at the back on a narrow bandeau concealed by bow3 of ribbou.?Millinery Trade Review. Small Turbana. Small ti'.rbans still shaw the wide top and the box brim; but differing, are turbans with medium-wide square crowns, and brims projecting flatly about one-and-a-half inches, and then turned up squarely to the height of the crown?in. some models., rounded, and in others pointed,-at the front. Hair. Arrangement, v Less importance is given^, to the cachepeigne than in the late summer models, and we are inclined to think that the fashion of piling up the hair very high on the top of the head will help to bring about a still further ' 4. IftltlnAnv ciiange in xui3 ?iuluiucl/ Trade Review. FItb Onred Slclrt. E^er.v variation of the pleated skirt is greatly ia vogue and each new one seems more attractive than the last. Here is one of the latest -c? all models that is made with a kilted \iet, 32 to 40 Bust I flnnnr(? and nlaLa uDner portion. an(i which will be found especially satisfactory for wear under the long coats, although it is desirable for every use of the season. As illustrated, the mate?i;il is light weight cheviot stitched with belding sills, but all the skirtings aud all the suitings that are not too | heavy to be pleated successfully are appropriate. In addition to serving for the coat suit and for the separate skirt, it will be found a most desirable model for the simpler entire gowns for iudoor wear, so that it covers near. Iy every possible use. The skirt Is cut in five gores that are | fitted smoothly and are laid in inverted ( pleats at the back with the flounce that is kilted and joined to the lower , edge. The quantity of material required for the medium size is eight yards twenty-seven, four and a half yards forty-four, or four yards flfty-twa i inches wide. 1 6I&; v.^ SPiSiSi ! An important item in the extension v of the work of the Bureau of Chemistry has been the establishment of Inspection for imported food, products. As a result food products imported to this country have been greatly improved. In former ytirs the United States was resarded a^ the dumping ground for the refuse teas of the commerce of the world. Many years ago, In order to overcome this evil, a system of inspection of imported teas was established and has 3lnce been maintained. The comparatively rare instances iu ,which the motions of plants, such as the opening of buds into blossoms, odcur with sufficient rapidity to' be? observed during a single brief period of watching, always cause much pleasure to the onlooker. Mrs. Henry Cooper Eggar, in her description of au Indian garden, tells of a species of lily, Crinum augustum, which opens with uncommon swiftness, so that she thinks it would be an admirable subject for representation by kinetoscopic photography. Bronze or metallic powders are produced by M. Baer by a novel method that has been patented in Trance. The melted metal or alloy is run through a sic ,-nto a sheet iron box or cylinder La v''h a shaft with paddles is rapidly evolved, or into a chamber into which compressed air is suitably injected. The violent movement of the air converts the metallic rain into thin leaves by the time it solidifies. The thin leaves may be reduced to powder by beating, grinding or other means. The ancestors of the horse were accustomed to roam over the plains, where every tuft of. grass or bush might conceal an enemy waiting to spring upon them. Under these circumstances they must often have saved their lives by .starting quickly back qr jumping to one side when they came without warning upon some strange object. This is a habit which has not left the animal, even after long yeara of domestication. On the other hand, the donkey is descended from animals which lived among the hills, where there were precipices and dangerous declivltisfs, .and from these .conditions .resulted his slowness and sure-footedaess. Chestnuts suffer "more from .the ravages of insects than Almost any other kind of nuts. Butternuts, walnuts and almonds a? comparatively immune. * The reason why worms are so often found in apparently perfect chestnuts long after they have reached the market is thu$ explained: The larvae of the chestnut weevil develop with the nuts, but they are not all of the same age. Those which first reach matur ity. bore tlieir way out, aua enter tne ground about the time that the nuts fall; but others remain for several weeks in the nuts after they have been gathered, and these are the ones that furnish a disagreeable surprise when the shell is broken. * . AUTOMATIC SERVICE Will Believe the Hoateu of Terror of Striking Servants, j v ' A clever young inventor, living in. Germantown, who has often been the' , victim of the incompetency and inconstancy of his wife's servants, hasr been contemplating a device which he says wllJ enable his wife to serve a course dinner wimoui going miu uie iuluicu, even if the servant lias quit at the crucial moment. His scheme is to have an underground trolley from the kitchen, with an atachment to a wide wooden gut^erlarge enough to hold every size of serving dish, and presumably steam-heated', so that soups, vegetables and entrees will not grow cold in the process. When the hostess and her guests are seated she needs only to touch an invisible button and the soup tureen will soon precipitate itself on the table; another manipulation, and the soup will disappear; still another, and the roasts and vegetables will come steaming to their place at the table, and so on I until the complete dinner has been served, up to the very last dish of salted almonds and demi-tasse.?Philadelphia Record. He Knew Enoogh. James Francis Burke, now Congressman from the Thirty-second District of Pennsylvania, in an address to the graduating class of a Pittsburg school, +r?M *ha fnllntr-inc sfnrv! "The president of an ocean liner company -was taking a Journey across the water, and when the ship entered a very dangerous chauneJ, lie engaged in a conversation with the pilot, who, by the way, was a whiskered old man ; of sixty-eight, with all the appearance | of haviug spent most of his days on the water. The magnate remarked: " 'I suppose you know all the dangerous places in this channel?' , "The pilot, looking straight out into ; the night, gruffly replied: 'Nope.' " 'You don't!' said the magnate,- very much surprised. 'Then why on earth ,ire you in charge of that wheel? Whal ] 3o you know ?' I " 'I know where the bad places ain't,' I coolly replied the old pilot, much to, the satisfaction of the maguate."? I Saturday Evening Post. < : ( Parrot Hart Trade. "I just bought this parrot from a butcher." said the sailor. "It's a rare j sort?a gold beak. I got it at a barsain. too?a dollar. The butcher had [);rid for it. But it seems the man what sold it to him was a practical joker. He had knowed the parrot was ( to ornament a butcher shoo, and he taught it to say the wuit thing possi- j [>le for such a locality. This here parrot didn't last long, for from his perch above the batcher's scales he kep' a-singln' out in a sarcas- ( tic voice: ' 'Lovely meat. Don't tell the lady f what it weighs. Just tell her what it ?omes to.'Xew York Press. According to a recent report coal J mining has been commenced on tha ' west soast.of ^^Uzberepn. ' ' I Wfoh the Funny' ' The HI Wind, wrfcn a cyclone struck the place Gentle Jane was whirled through space* xM "It's all right," said Jane, "I know; * '-r v; But it was sa awful blow!" , \ ?Sunday Magazine, i Different. \ He^-'T feel' like a.'two-year-old/ " M She?j'Howe^orpopular song?"? . . ^ Town Topics. , * . ??? Tl?o Only Way. t 3mythe?'"Bjohnson says hie wife?- / -J never disobeys him." , Brown?"No. He never gives hen any orders."?Somerville Journal. Good Heavens! "They say she married him for hiai ' \-v money." "Yes. And now they are "so poor that / j she has to press his trousers." Ciijl "Alas! A real case of <ftie irony ot fate."?Chicago Record-Herald., . ' ' . ' Regularly. ' ? "Has young Pluhger any holdings $ iTrfhrk Slrnrtmnro Htnplrn?" -.'?3S "Holdings? Well, I guess! He goe?,' V^gl three or four times every week to se?old Skadmore's daughter."?Chicago* 7 v'yj Tribune. BMP. "Yes," remarket the* ^c^hor^e,; "alt' y my achievemenfr^toVe^b'j&n, dUfrfcjfopIyT ; to putting my tiPBrvfaot forw^#"r*v "Yes?" replied the mule; "now I flat r that I accomplish most by putting best foot backward^'?Philadelphia* y.-i Press. , " J??!ou?r. .' * ' * r'r-% "What's Barnstorm doing thea? aaysrr inquired xorick ttamm. "He's murdering Julius Caesar every night," replied Hamlet Fatt "Playing Brutus?" ? "pS "No; playing Caesar."?LouisvHI? '* Courier-Journal. Why the Major W?? Antxj. ... h / "What's the Major howling about?** , ; ^ "Well, this being a holiday, he's got'. , 1, $ to carve the turkey." "And did that upset him?" > >' > . "Yes; somebody stole the turkey."? * ( Atlanta Constitution. . Up to Father. "Here, WHlle!" cried the boy'* father, "you mustn't behave that way. Everybody will be calling you a little* glutton. Do you know what that is-?" : ' ' "I suppose," replied Willie, "it's flt< >' * big glutton's little boy."?Philadelphia: Press. jdWt* -? ' Trouble. yk ' Teacher?"And if your father earneft ( | five dollars and your mother took away, 'four dollars from it, what would that make?"' ----- ? - ? Hiram?"Trouble."?.xew ions evening Telegram. ' '" ^ ' v" Correct. ' "Now, gentlemen," said the lecturen on commerce and manufactures, "men- ) tion; one of the most important collat> era) branches of the oil business." "Writing for the magazines," prompt* ly responded the student who keep? abreast of the times?Pittsburg Post;j After a Bargain. "The cashier has skipped with $18;000 and they've offered a reward of $500 for the fugitive." < "You say he has $18,000 and $500 if* , offered? Oh, fudge, I'll raise that bidb myself. These bankers are no sport* at all."?Kansas City Times. Jollier. High?"So you have given up your* " high ambitions and are going to follow: a routine lifeV" ;V Jinks?"Yes;-1 decided it would-belonesome up there on the top rung of the ladder of fame. I'm gojng to stay: ciQwn with the push."?Detroit Fr?e* Press. Wot There. "Judge," said Mrs. Stavem to th& .Magistrate, win? flaa recenuy wme inboard witli her, "I'm particularly anxoust to have you try this chicken soup.,? . "I have tried it," replied the Magistrate, "and my decision is that th? > chicken has proved an alibi."?Philalelphia Press. At the Hoto). Guest?"Didn't I telegraph you fotr he best room in the house?" Clerk?"Yes, sir." Guest?"-Why didn't you save it for ne?" . .... -- ?* Clerk?"I've aireauy giveu we ucou oom in the house to fifty people toright, and I thought you wouldn't lik? :o be crowded."?Cleveland Leader. Shrewd. : The Lady?"I want to get a box of :igars for a present to " The Clerk?"Yes. miss. Does your 'riend like a mild or?" Tho Lady?"Oh, any kind, so they'ra ;heap." The Clerk?'"Yep, madam. Shall I ;end them home to your husband or viil you take them?"?Washingiwfc iter. ?M^m