Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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[CORNAYLIUS HATrroj the godfather stuttered, or may hap the priest; \ But, be that aa it may, it ia certain, at least, That the wan oe the other was surely to blame Cur presintin' the lad the quare twist to \ his name. \ For there at the christ'uia*, Wid iv'ry wan list'nin', Jvow didn't his Riverence, Father O'Flanigan, i Wid nervousness slim'rin', ; Bechune the child's chm'rin', >J>aptize it "Cornaylius Ila-lLi-Ha-Hun^ nigan! flVid theses words from the priest, shure, the Cute little rogue an' stopped his own mouth wid hL= chubby kithogue, 'Aa* the dimples broke out in' prosaded to chase !Aii the tears an' the frowns from h:s innot cint face. >, For, faix. he was afthor Ahsorbin the laughtherStuck into his name by good Fatlici O'Flanigan! s Now that's the thruth in it. An' so from that minute Sdure, iv'ry wan called the lad "Ha-Ha f?ta-xiaunigan. k- BALCO] By CAM ILL/ HEN Katharine came back ^-w-Tr-rfc to the dinner table after O V/lj O answering the telephone H K she looked so sober, es RQSlkt; 'WOJf' pecially iu contrast with I: 'tier previous high spirits, that the 1 family resolved itself into an interrov gatioa point at once. L "Harry can't come for me," s'ae said, A slowly. "Is that all? Thought there must Srave been a death at tlie- very least." "No, that's not all. He very kindly M^^Vprovides me with an escort, and that Hfi^Bf:;cort none other than Sir. Randolph MSU||?"WellI what's the matter with Mr. BS9B|^vyson? I thought he was all right." hat's just what's the matter?he's variably and provokingly ail right, a perfect paragon of propriety, ^ aftfl shall be sura to do something (to bSock him. I've half a mind not to go." !. "Oh. Kaaharine," lute-posed > her mother, "you must. U.irry is depending ou your solos." i "Yes, that's another fbiag. Some . one has failed him at tiie last minute and he wants me to sing another. I bate these concerts for the benefit of 'something anyway; they're always in gome stuffy hall, and there's never a decent piano." I "An unprejudiced observer would almost be tempted to think you are cross. Kit," remarked her brother. . ! "It's enough to make anybody cross. ft don't see how Mr. Paysou can reconcile it with his conscience to take me ?n a carriage without a chaperon, but tbarry says he jumped at the chance. fThe idea! Of course it was all right Ro go with Harry." I "Well, dear," said her mother, soothSv.elw "von must iust do the best vou can. I can't imagine why'you feel . ?o about it. Most girl* would be deiighted with Randolph Payson aa an fcecort."" r ''.Most girls are scared blue of him Susi the same. It's enough to 'rile' aaybody just to look at him. he's so absolutely faultless." Katherine was ready at the appoint"\ ' 'Od time, and was alone, the other mem' S tiers of the family, including the maids, having gone out. She was positively nervous about meeting Mr. Payson, and started violently when the bell proclaimed his arrival. She picked i ?p her gloves to go, but to her horror Iier room door would not open! No, It was not locked, and the knob turned ' |)ut did not unlatch/ Meanwhile thf Jbeli rang again. What chould she do' Irtf Arvui*CA Kir** |VL V.VS1I1 Ct OJJC (tvuiu li\J L Li UJ O.U J-iJLULJ L bear. and slie rattled the knob and ^ pounded and pulled to no purpose. - Site'lived in the lower flat of an apartjj^r meat house, and her room had long {windows opening on a small balcony. She rusned out there, only to find that 6be could not see the front entrance, ' i?ut she hailed a boy, passing. [ , "Boy," she called, "come here if you I jwant to earn a dime." The boy came iwitb alacrity. "Is there a carriage |ii front of the house?" she asked. | "Yes," said the boy. "Then please go around to the enW trance and tell the gentleman who is if at the door of this flat that Miss Har^ rifeon cannot come to the door just | now, and ask him to please wait a few i minutes. Do you- understand it?" L i "Yes'm," said the boy. and repeated k tbe message. Then he started off. "Oh, come back a minute. Do you know where the janitor's rooms are? ffhen please go and ask him to come at once to Flat 1. and fix: a door thai twoa't open. Now, don't tei! the gentleI man that," she added, as she tossed H biza a dime. j A. moment or two later, she heard r steps, but instead of the small boy ?c the janitor, it w:.s Mr Payson. Her diicf immiloa ia m/ja v* t?* * v>? ???o iv Aiiutr, UUL iat* gmit; the street light made her conspicut ims, so he had already seen her. LiftL ' lag his hat, lie said. "Good evening, K , .Miss Harrison," as calinly'as i?' it was J 6is daily custom to greet from the lawn [ a young lady on a balcony. . ;? :."Oh," began Katharine, ''I told the [ boy not to tell you." i "The boy," said Mr. Payr3o4i, gravely, 4,gave me a rather confused message r\ about a door and waiting and said -he N{wns going for the janitor. I insisted knowing where I might find the 'ing lady who had sent him. and wing his directions, I am here." . "l'es," said Katharine, confused. I "' May I ask what the trouble is, and If I can do anything?" -i* Katharine wanted to tell l?im he TMicht- ask nnrthinB iP h? n-milrl H ^ ?r-- J uc "VUIU V41IJ fc'lce off thr.t expression of calm disHKtoval which made her feel as if islie yere a naughty five-year-old. Bat ipbe e^-lai-ied matters, in an embarrassed, iesitating way, which raaile ..fcer ap>.a- more .charming even than ?anal. "Isn't yo\it door locked?" he asked. I "I knew you'd ask that. No, it isn't. . * L " ' i p KL SgP HA-HA-HANNIGAN. Now, the "Ha! Ila! Ha!" stuck to him cloae as his name, ; For the sorra a tear couid be drownin' the same. Xot a care iver touched him from that blissid day i But his gift o' the laughther would drive it away. Wid iokin' an' chaffin' He niver stopped laughin', Or if he did stop he immajiace began , &?? r An iv'ry wan hearin His laughter so cneerirT Jist i'inea in the mirth o' young 'TlaHa-Ha-Hannigan. Shure, the throubles o' life are so palthry an' small, 'Tis a pity we let thim disthurb ua at all. i There la niver a care but would 1'ave us in p'ace i If we'd only stand up an' jist laugh in its face. Faix, life were a pleasure If all had the treasure Conferred so unthinkin' by Father O'Flanigan. Tf all could but borrow That cure-ell for sorrow | Possissed by "Cornaylius Ha-Ha-Ha-Hannigan!" ?T. A. l>a!y, in Catholic Standard and Time*. I I I 1 I I I I I i i i ; i i i i i STY SCENE V J. KNIGHT. i i I I I v I I I I I 1 1 I I till It acted just tliis way once before? we've lived here only a week?and the janitor said it was rll right after he fixed it, but it won't open now." An oppressive silence was broken by the return of the boy. The janitor, had gone out and his wife said he would be back in an hour or two and she would tell him. "An hour or two!" echoed Katharine in dismay. "The concert will be over by that time." "If we had a ladder, Miss Harrison," said Mr. Payson. "Ah! I have a thought. Excuse me; I'll be back in a minute," aud he turned quickly away. "Ob." what wiil he think of me?" moaned Katharine. "This is awful!" and she went into the room for another try at the knob, which, however, proved futiie. The sound of steps called her back fhA ] * ? 7 r?ATi rr WK.?4- in 4-K/v iv miv cfw.iv.vijj. vr uau xii mu ?uim> The carriage, Mr. Payson oa the box with the driver, was coming straight toward her. As it stopped, Mr. Payson stood upon the seat, from which he could just reach to climb to the balcony. As he came over the rail, h? said: "We'll just pretend I'm the janitor for a minute, while I see if I can do anything with that refractory door," and he stepped into the room, -flis entire manner had changed, and Katharine stood in amazement at the vision of the paragon of propriety in her room on his knees before her door-knob. What was more, he was running on with merry nonsense the while, in a way she could not have imagined possible. He was obliged to give up the .problem, however, and returned to the balcony. "I see. but one way .tor you, Miss Harrison," he said. "I'll ask the driver to stand at the horses' heads, and if you can climb over the rail?it's not very high?I'll stand on the seat and help you down. Can you manage it, do you think?" His eyes were dancing with fun, as he looked into hers. Could it be that the precise Mr. Paysou was enjoying tliis escapade? "I can do it all rlghj." admitted Katharine, "but, yes, I wili. I mustu'i disappoint Harry." "Hope it won't hurt your gown," he said, as be sprang lightly down to the seat. "That's it; very gracefully done. Now, take care your dress doesn't catch. There, that was dead easy. Now wait a minute. Here you are on tfcra firma. Miss Harrison's carriage." as he opened the door with a flourish and a very low bow. Then, to her surprise, he mounted to the balcony again, went in, turned out the light and closed the window. "Now we are all right," he said, as he settled himself comfortably beside her, and the carriage rolled along. "We shan't be very l.ite, either; only fashionably so." "Thank you so much," murmured Katharine, unsteadily. He turned quickly to her. '"Why. you poor little girl! You are trembling! Don't take it so hard. Accidents will happen, you knew, and 'all's well that ends well.' Cheer up," and he smiled so genially that she naturally responded. Suddenly she started up. "Oh, stop hirn quick!" she cried. "I've forgotten my music! What a stupid " Payson told the driver to turn back, then said: "I don't wonder that you forgot it. But I'm equal to another raid on your room." "You must have it, I suppose?" "I could get along, but my accompanist " The carriage stopped at the entrance. "Is there a balcony off the musicroom, too?" "Yes." "Then that's dead easy If the window is unfastened. If not, glass is brittle." They drove to the side of the house and stopped, by Katharine's directions. "The music is on the piano in my music-roll," said Katharine, as he entered the window. "The telephone is ringing three," he called as he reappeared. "Is that your number?" "Yes," answered Katharine.' "Prob ably Harry is getting impatient." "Shall I answer it? We might as well relieve his mind. Or no; I can find the door and let you in, if you drive around to the front." So it came to pass that Katharinewas; let into her own home by Sir. Payson, who, smilingly bade her welcome, the telephone meanwhile ringing wildly. "Ilello!" Yes, this Katharine. No, but we're just stai'ing. No, but we've oeen hindered. Oh, no matter how. Yes, we'll come right along now. Goodby." "It was Harry," she continued, "and he's wild- to know whv I'm nnt there,1'' i her cheeks flushing as she remembered J Harry's peremptory question: "Havv you an I Pay son eloped?" As (hey neared their destination, Mr. Payson said: "Suppose we keep the events of the eve-fling to ourselves, Miss Harrison? Not that you have anything to be ashamed of; but I know what your life will be if Harry Thayer gets hold of what has- happened." "He is an awful tease," said Katharine. "I never thought, but I'd have to explain, though. It's kind of you ?if we could avoid telling?" ' "Of course we can. It's agreed, then, that it's a secret between us." Harry had 110 time to question as he dragged Katharine into the dressingroom. saying: "I've had.to change the program now so as to bring your first song later. "Don't be cross, Thayer," said Mr. Payson. "Our delay was absolutely ! unavoidable. 011 her part, at least." , "That was generous," thought Katharine. "And almost as if it was his fault." She was at her best that evening, many telling her they had never heard her sing so well. Harry and Mr. Payson were on their way to her after the concert, when Harry said: "Much obliged of you, Payson, for escorting Miss Harrison safely here at last. But I'll relieve you now; I can i take lier home." "Thayer," said Payson, suddenly, "how much claim have you on Miss Harrison?" "None at al!," answered Harry, promptly, "only she's my cousin," and I've always known lier." "Then I take her home," said Payson, decidedly. "Hope you won't be as long getting there as you were coming here," laughed Harry, adding, as Katharine came toward-them: "Mr. Payson in-sists;,on finishing up . the escorting business,' Kit, so I'm out." As they left the carriage, Mr. Payson said: "Why did you seem so surprised _ mhon fhatrnv CAiri T wnd tn tnkp Vrtll borne, Miss Harrison?" "Wby?I?thought you must be dis- ^ gusted with me. I'd made you so much trouble, and I knew you were so ( particular about?" "About the proprieties? I have that a reputation, I know, and I am. I have no patience with girls who do all sorts ?r of Wild things unchaperoned; but this is different. Such a thing might have ^ happened to any o:ie, and your evi- e dent distress proved that yqu were the kind of a girl I had always thought Sl( you were. Anyway, I shall be very glad if I may have the privilege of calling on you and being admitted" in a proper manner, not 'climbing up . some other way.' May I?" ' -P^ Katharine assented, and he went on impulsively: 1 "I heard you say as I left you to getv ?, the carriago: 'What will lie think of . me?' Some time I shall be glad to tell . you exactly what I think of you," and . his eyes told her then, as she bade . him good-night.?The American Queen. ca Ono Way to MCnke a Living1. ? The chief industry of Beth-lehera ol^ er Judea is that of the mother-of-pearl ( workers. Pr The shells are brought from the Red Sea, and in the hands of native pr artisans are polished and carved, the larger into elaborate designs; the ^ smajler are cut up for rosaries and ne crosses. The work is all done by th hand,, and the methods are amazingly se primitive to a spectator from the home ' of steam and electric power. But the results are extraordinary. The largest Ir shell Ave saw -was carved in scenes. ? from the Birth of Christ, the Agony th in the Garden, and the Crucifixion, ? and had the general effect of delicate frostwork. Under the magnifying glass every detail was seen to be per feet in outline and in finish. It was ; executed to order for a wealthy Ameri- j can, and was to cost $100. About a 150 people make a living by this industry, which i3 500 years j old. In the shops the workmen sit j upon the floor, tlieir benches in front j of them; the air is full of whitish dust, and the light, admitted by the single window, and the open door, s<i j dim that the exquisite tracery of tho j wrought shells is a mystery even be- ! fore the visitor notes how few, simple J and crude are the instruments era- j ployed.?Marion Harland, in Lippin* cott's. _ <Juaint QueMions. nj Do you know that the bayonet wa? Bt so called because it was first made a|. fr Bayonne, France? ( ^ That coffee received its name foi th the reason that it first came to Europe o? from Kdffa? y. That candy was first exported froir g, Candia? of That tobacco was so called from tb< ^ Island of Tobacco, the home of Daniel Defoe's imaginary hero, Itobinsoc ^ Crusoe? n That gin was invented at Geneva le and early became an important factoi In the commerce of^hat city? 6l] That the tarantula was a notorious ^ pest in the vicinity of Taranto? w That cambric was made at Cambray ? ,b That muslin was made at Mous* ce>1inf>? That calico was made at Calicut? ' That dimity was made at Da- [_ mietta? That milliners first plied their trade at Milan? That the magnetic property of iron ore was first noticed in that dug in the neighborhood of Masrnosla? Ask your friends and see how many' of them know these facts.?Washing* ton Post. C'liorthanrt 1900 Team Old. Pro!'. Friedrich Preisigke, of the University of Strassburg, has been engaged on the translation of certain NE ancient Egyptian papyrus MSS. which he recently discovered at O.xyphyn- _ chus, in Egypt. He has come to the ne conclusion that the art of stenography w; was certainly known ta the Greeks in SP Egypt. In a letter from a certain bo merchant, named Dionysius, to his sis- | w ter, Didyme, dated November 15, ) twenty-seven years after Christ, the in merchant complains that his sister has w not written to him either in th& usual to character or steno^raphicaliy. Prof. ?(? Preisigke believes the Greeks learned be stenography from the Egyptians and sti bases his belief on papyri dated A. D. tb 155, in which an Egyptian shorthand cu is certainly Lu use<?New York World, n: IN THE PU J. PIERPONT 3 Fina ncie ELECTRIC FISH CATCHER. tu res hen Current Stuns Them They sti Are Gathered la. an The accompanying illustrations show device for catching fish by the aid ST electricity. Judged from the standtl of Rnnrtsmnnshin Hia annaratUS 1 objectionable, but as a proposed ap- ste ication of electricity it is of some in- lov rest, although it may be doubted far hetber it will ever be put to exten- tio ?e practical use. urn This electrical fi3h catcher or killer ?? as recently patented by Michael rard, of Pittsburg, Pa. In carrying e invention into effect a suitable at is provided with an electrical batry on board. Suspended from the ie8 of the vessel is a netting com>scd partly of electric conductors, hich are placed in circuit with the ittery, so that the fish coming In oonct with the netting will be submitd to shock of electricity, whicli will ive the effect of stunning them and using them to float on the top oL e water, where they may be gathed in hand-nets. One of the accompanying views, reoduced fr^jjjn the Western Electrician, ows, iu^fransverse section, it boat ovided,~with tlie device. The second a diagrammatic, view Illustrating e peculiar construction of one of tbe 4 its which are employed, tbe net in is figure being in several separable |fj ctions. On each side of the boat is mounted a ar or booim, extending out laterally wc om the boat to any desired distance, inf ie source of energy is so connected to tor e net that the vertical strands, which pei ROSfcJ-SECTION OF BOAT, SHOWING e bare or uncovered wires, -will con- ref itute terminals of conductors leading poi om the source. Vertical strands of for e net are alternately connected to Ins e positive and to the negative poles def the battery, the wires leading from ' wo e positive pole of tlie battery and w! ose leading from tbe negative pole fro ' the battery being insulated one from ing e other. The vertical strands of the Th ;t are united by cross-strands at suit- wi) iio intervals, these cross-strands be- tat g composed of suitable insulating ma- the rial, so that the vertical metallic pja rands of the net are electrically in- cro ilated from one another. The bottom rje, the net is provided with weights, t,jij hich assist in sinking the net and Tli aintaining it in a vertical position in e water. tha In carrying the invention into effect her e boat is brought to a narrow portion req a stream or body of water and the (iflM IS % Wlllil^^ in? JmMBI! 2 boj ,T OB SCHEEN I?OH ELBCTBIOAL FISH CATCHER. jjtt ts are spread transversely across the " ater, so as to cut off a considerable the ace of water on each side of the "SI iat. The fish upon b:Mng frightened I \* ill naturally take to flight and en- Git avor to leave the narrow place, and T so doing they will come into contact in Ith the nets. As soon as a fish arr ches any two of the vertical strands mu the net it will establish a circuit the itween the strands, and as these V rands are alternately connected with aut e opposite poles of the battery the claj rrent from the battery will be trans- the itted from one strand to the other cen A i. IBL.IC E\^|< ^ * | * * I ll MORGAN. J sr. y t rough the body of the fish, with the b sultant effect that the fish will be f mned by the passage of the current, n d will rise to the surface. t EPLADDER BUILT ON NEW ONES ? t 'here have been 'stepladders and p pladders, but these have all fol- Ii sred with more or loss fidelity the a niliar design that needs no descripn. In searching for "something-new-; fler the sun" a Colorado man has I llll. C 8 A. STBPLADDHIt OP NOVEL DB3ION. f >rked out'a stepladder that is notli- t . : e 1 r\t ma. f 5 IL 11LTL anu. UtUHUilitC VJ. uia L ial. Wliile it does not have an ap- o irance of great stability, there is no li t il , a . y r ELECTRIC FISH CATCHER. n b il reason wliy tbe three supporting tl ints should not be as effective aa fi lr, and probably this suggestion of 1 itability arises from tbe skeleton sign. The economy of material 8 nlrl mTifh mnrpfiaf-pd. hv those W io have to carry stepladders about t] m place to place to whom any sav- fl ; of weight is a grateful benefaction. & e ladder consists of a single stile, to iich are secured a series of horizonsteps. A single prop pivoted near > upper end of the stile takes tho ^ ce of the usual double support. A ss piece at the foot of the stile cars diverging braces and insures staity by increasing the base area, jj eoretically nobody can rest on more k .n three points at any one time, so Ci it the modified tripod stepladder e shown fulfills this fundamental w uirem en t.?Philadelphia Record. tl Outranked Him. t happened at a station on the ele- a! ed. P! . big policeman and a sixteen-year- a! special delivery boy attempted to h through the gate at the same tant. ai 'hey collided, and stuck fast in the S? e. b" rhe train pulled out and left them. w t as they wrenched themselves ? se. 'hen the big'copper turned on the You (lad - burned, insignificant Aw, wot's bitin' ye!" interrupted ^ boy, raising his hand warningly. ciddoo! You work fur de city, an' 'ork fur de United States Guv-ment. ; away f'm me!" he officer, who probably had read his little book that he could not .Q est a carrier on duty, gnawed his ^ stache reflectively and walked to A other end of the platform. ju thereupon a man who owns an :omobile relieved his feelings by pping the boy enthusiastically on ^ shoulder and giving him a Gfty- E t piece.?Chicago Tribune " "?___ frnrv*pular^^I/ < ^ SCIENCE > (S? According to German scientists.fish destroy many annoying inBects, espeially mosquitoes. In Germany tire ommon carp and the red-eye are conidered tne best insect destroying fish. Sixty "thousand children have been reated since 1887 n the fifteen sanaoriums on the coast of France for the are of delicate, strumous, or rachitic hildren, the object of such sanatorium being the prevention of tubercuDsis. In the Uganda Protectorate there are he largest lake, the largest swamp n& the largest forest in Africa; also he largest .extinct /"olcano in the rorld and the highest African mountin, with 'ltK>''square miles of ice and now, right-under .the equator. Some low water alarms for boilers re made dependent for operation upn the melting of a fusible alloy exposed to the heat of steam. When the rater falls and the temperature rises he melting of the alloy releases a /eight actuated circuitjcloser and rings . bell. r A high centrifugal pump at a Brightn .(England) bath stopped working, nd an examination revealed the pres nee in a pipe of a pigeon's nest with wo eggs. To reacli its nest the bird iad to find its way through a six incb .iameter pipe?horizontal fo^ six feet, nd bending sharply into a six foot erpendicular. Some remarkably interesting experiments are reported from Znrich show, ag the efrect of temperature on the deelopmeot of species among butterflies. ?he experiments have, been continued brough a period of about fourteen ears, and it is found, for instance, bat the common small tortoise-shell iutterfly, if subjected to warmth of rom thirty-seven degrees to thirtyine degrees centigrade?develops into be variety found in Sardinia, while hose bred in'a temperature of from our degrees to six degrees produce he Lapland variety. Similarly the ap- - lication of heat produced the Saramin form of the swaUow-tail butterfly nd the Syrian form of the Apollo. The Old-Time Novel. Porii3 not this the day of problem lovels? And do not these old-time tories bring to us all the problems it j worth one's while to discuss?genersity, bravery, manliness and sincerity? ind do they not solve them, too? Maniness and sincerity are sure to win. Generosity is repaid by kindness. Bravry will always carry off the girl, throughout the book is not the probem irresistible, with its inspiring clater of horses' hoof?, its ring of valiant pords, its rapidity of action and adenture, its romance, its excitement nd life? When the prince has taken he princess' hand and has kissed her. hen you know that the problem has ieen solved, that they will live happily a the end. And who's he who says hey will not, who suggests that Cinlerella was never happy after she left ?? am/1 It^a nn/1 riTfinf IL'l" iXtiUKt ttliu uei j)UiU|miuo auu^urub o live in a palace? He is a, very unomfortable person and had better be nuzzled. For it is a'good .world, you; hlnk. You take your feet-from tbij' ender, put out your reading lamp and* umble to bed, conviction in your mindhat "the world is so full of a number f things, I'm sure we should all be as appy as kings."?Charles S. Brooks, in he Critic. < A Striking Fact. A young man was ridltfg in tlie cab /ith a locomotive engineer. , "Now," said the young man, shudering, "suppose a stageload of chilren were to glide onto the track from hat "lane?what a blessing it would be f you could stop short, instantly, like man walking." "Blessing?" said the engineer. "Why, oung renown it mac stage you spen& f were to appear now, and I could top short like a man walking, I wouldn't do it. Instead, I'd keep right n and kill the kids." "WJiy?",..- < "Because it would be the more htrlane course. In one case there would e a stageload of kids slaughtered; in lie other case there would be the laughter of a trainload of people, 'he train is going at the rate of fortyve miles an hour, and the 6udden toppage of a train going at that rate rould give the passengers precisely le same shock that they would get rom a fall of fifty-four feet?a fail :om a housetop."?New York Press. The Long Wait of Patient Lovers*. A romantic wedding, which for many ears had been delayed, owing to a 'Oman's promise, took place at Sawrby, near Thlrsk, in the North Riding f Yorkshire, the other day. For nearr a quarter of a century the bride ad acted as confidante find hottseaeper to a maiden lady who possessed >nsiderable means. Many years ago le housekeeper met a gardener, and ras we?ed by him with success. But le housekeeper liaa promisea ner iuik> t ess to stay with her until she died, ad so the love story became one of itient waiting. Three or four weeks jo the mistress died in her ninetieth sar, leaving to her faithful houseeeper her house, plate and furniture. i well as ?1000 In money. Many m'estges of congratulation reached the ride and bridegroom from friends ho knew the story of their courtship. London Express. ? American Hotel Lif?. At heart Americans still enjoy hotel fe immensely, in spite of much reroof from foreigners who consider it l bad form. The American has no$ :ally acquired the country-housd ibit, although he Is trying to do so. : does not as yet satisfy his longing ir a constant change of scene and itire independence. Hotel life, con>mned as it is by the finely discrim, ating as unhomelike, flaunting anil o public, still appeals to the average mencail as a very uivemns unci' tie to domestic exclusiveness. The? en prefer it in reality to entertain g or being entertained after th^ >spitable but somewhat responsibly uropean fashion.?London Telegraph Oh, Pshaw f r_ , With. smiling face and outstretched iuuaA She met him every day, . y -1 And, eager for his coming, watched / Whenever he was away. / g -2 But still he did not haste to come '4 Or flattered seem to be? r r-$ For she was only & girl in love v**2 And a letter carrier he. ^ ?2*g v .... v.?Milwaukee JounuL. > Its' Ulddy Whirl. Miss Gladys had .never- looped tt? <oop before. : "It's?ifs like a.seaside engagement,** ' she said. "Wonderfully exciting .wMI^ '...A It lasts."?Chicago Tribune. * * | A Collector'* Theory. Bluebeard made an explanation. j| "Merely, another instance where tw? heads are better than one," .he marked. ' > r " Herewith Mrs. Bluebeard pruderittjj / sent out to watte up a cop.?flew xotk. hk Sun. Generally: Tffl " "Funny thing about tbese (elKnvS ; ; JS who get rich." ( "How funny?" "Why, you'll generally find that the mail, who accumulates a great many; bones, hab a skeleton in^ttfs closet"? Hou&Loi\ Posf: ; y**> .- . ' j - y 1 "i ,j; She CTknted d' Show. "Bessie, why are you and Wfllkl forever quarreling?" said the motlMC of the two, in a.reprimanding voice. v?? "Why, mamma, it isn't my ' '-,3| eiclalmed five-year-old Bessie. "Willie always wants his own way.'?D?*- $ troit Free Press. After the Honeymoon. Helen?"Poor, deir George most 6? devoting unused. u> uxat wieiuucu nw. . ^ Office business strictly." Florence?"What makes yoii thiaK ; so, dear?" . H' * ?"Why. he only .writes to twice a day now!" j " y | Plenty of Vacnom, * I "How is it that flies are able to .waflfi I on the ceiling?" "They , produce a vacuum in the&l > v, -^r feet." * I "I doubt that If it were true sohMl -.f&i | folk I know ought to be ?*ile to 6tan* on the ceiling on their heaufl."Tent Talk* ' - Jmx. I:i The Monkey?"Why on earth did yot? swallow the rlngmasfcer's Prince Albert?" * i The Ostrich?"Because the doctor told me I needed a new coat on myt , stomach."?Chicago News. . "r.&\ [t - ? - Still UaBHfrw?r?d. Mr. Wallace (impressively) ? "Alw . | here is another story of a man wfc? killed himself because his home ,wa* / '>.4^ unhappy." Mrs. Wallace (sweetly) ? "And di? ' that make his home happy, or does tho paper not say?" ? * Natural Sequence. QTeen?"Did you ever hear of am immovable object being struct: by irresistible force?" ^*4 Brown?"Yes." Green?"What was the result?" Brown?"Both the women taike* < themselves hoarse."?Chicago News, What, Indeed r Young Thorne (to his ideal)?"Audi your name is Rose? What a sweefc nam? Rose Is!" | " ? Rose?"I am glad you like it Bnfc^ but?but I do not want to be a row without a Thorne." .y , -j .What could a fellow say after that? 1 s It? a Fact. A "? "It doesn't make apy difference if q woman is six feet high and weighs 857. pounds," began the homegrown philosopher. ,i V"WeM?" ? .. j "SAnnor /?r latpr snmA man will CQ2B& along who's willing to call her 'llttW girl."' , ';|j Kefereed % Fight. "Pop!" "Yes, my son." "What do you think? Our miniatec f has been acting as. a referee at m I fight!- 1 "Don't talk nonsense, my boy." . Jj "I'm not, pop. Tbe fight was In tin* choir." ' m Trouble Was Expected. a "A hor3e! A horse! My kingdom j for a horse!" 1 Richard III waited, but there was Mt response. "I should not have come out in thto auto without more gasoline," ne muir; tered as he started on foot toward home.?St. Louis Poet-Dispatch. j+ The Real Thin*. /* "Why did Ethel turn down young <3 Big-wadd?" "Oh, she had a better offer." "Why, he has twenty thousand. at year." "Yes, but Ethel received a proposal from the office boy of a life Insurance m comjmj'."?Louisville Courier-Journal,