GIRLS.
Some admire the maiden queenly.
One who moves about nereaely,
Dignified, divinely tall.
Others much prefer her small.
T admire the small ones greatly.
Then I like the large ind stately
I'm not captious, fortunately;
Really, I admire then ill.
^ome like girls with animation,
<>Hch as shine in conversation.
These the golden youth enthral!
At a party or a ball
Quiet, sny ones have their inning:
Some consider them more winning.
As I said in the beginning.
Really, I admire them til.
Fair or dark and big or little
Ii oon z care a ]oz or tittle.
None with me has got th?- call:
At the feet of each I fall?
The demure and the vivacious,
Smart, coquettish, sweet and gracious?
None is barred. My heart is soacious,
Bless the yirls! I love em all.
?Chicago News.
MAKING
A SHOW
E7 D> J. FINLAV.
HAD always a greater re,
y )s sard. for W Uncle George
[ I O than for any of my rela!
tives. The reason for this
?oy was. doubtless, that he was
more communicative and
ompanionable than any relative outitle
of my immediate family. He
could, jsit down and spin yarns for me
y the hour whenever we were toether:
but there was one subject on
i'bicb, for a number of years, I had
ifiled to draw him out; and that was
hen a matter of serious thought to
le, and I determined to find a good
pportuuity to get at the facts in the
ase.
One evening, as we sat together in
\y uncle's comfortable mansion, I
>und him in a very communicative
K>od, and, to my astonishment, he
roached the subject which I had'
romised to bring up.
rlaot? Katt '* pft wl 1> a **T
iuAj uuj, caiu ur, x.
au have often wondered why I remined
an old bachelor?"
"Yes, uncle." said I, in an airy, offand
way which did not at all betray
?e depth of my curiosity. ilI am sure
ou must have had ample opportunity
see the cream of society and make a
aitable choice of a companion."
"Well," said he, 4,I will tell you; and
le story may be a good subject for
our dreams of future speculation.
"When I was a young man I was
ilher fond of making a good show in
>ciety. At times this was performed
ti a very limited capital. Shortly
fter I settled in New York I made the
cquaintance of a beautiful and estlable
young lady. Miss Clorinda Swan,
id I lost no time in paving the way
>r a matrimonial alliance with her.
"One evening the subject of conversaon
between us ran upon operas, and
ie upshot of it was that I invited
lorinda to go to the Academy of
[osic the next evening. As I have
tid, my means were then rather limed,
and now I had just enough left
> pay for the tickets, but no surplus
>r carriage, supper and et ceteras.
"ith. thfse I determined to dispense, as
rthought my fair Cloriuda was too
nsible to be affected by tbe loss.
'"Fortune favored me at the start;
ie evening was/fin? and the weather
7, so at the appointed time I made
y appearance, dressed in the best I
>uld afford, and waited patiently for
orinda. She soon put all my fears on
e carriage question to flight by asirlng
me that she preferred walking.
"We chatted gayly on the way to the
cademy, and were in due time for the
>rformance, which was the opera of
[artha,* with a popular prima donna
the leading role. Of the performice
I need not speak. The opera
as all that we could desire, and was
ndered most admirably.
"When the performance was over we
tscended the stairs amid the gay
rong, and soon reached the sidewalk,
ut, oh, horror of horrors! It was
ining! What was I to do? To get
carriage, without having a cent to
ly for it, made my blood run coid.
knnnw A ~ ?
juayyj iuuui;iiL uutuiiCU IU liJt? lil
oment, and in a nervous -whisper I
ked Clorinda if she had rubbers on;
t, to my dismay, she answered:
' 'No; my boots are very light, too,
d I could not think of walking. We
ust get a carriage."
'Of course, there was nothing left
r me to do but to face the music,
d I hailed one of the many drivers
io was anxious to g?t passengers,
assisted my fair Clorinda to a seat,
d in a few moments we were whirlX
along through the rain. Hardly
d we gone two blocks when Clorinda
id she was hungry, and asked me
stop an* get supp?r. My feelings
n easier be imagined than described,
I thought of my empty pockets,
d tried to reason her out of eating
late at night. All my arguments
ire fruitless, however, for my dear
orindft was not to be thwarted.
Thinking that fortune might beend
me by some means then a mys7
to mc, I ordered the driver to
>p at the nearest restaurant. We en ed
a saloon and took seats at a table
the centre of the room. I deterned
to eat as little as possible, but
orinda was not by any means so deltte,
and quietly took the liberty of orring
what she wanted. In vain I
)ked around to see if by chance the
loon contained an acquaintance.; but,
my dismay, not a familiar face was
siblc.
'As yon may well imagine, I was not
n hnvrv lo leave the table but mv
Impanion began to show signs of restis
anxiety to got home, so I thought
lad bettor start and have it over as
>n as possible.
'I had formed many plans of how I
is to pacify the cashier at the desk,
t the wretch had more human nature
him than I imagined.
'While walking down the saloon 1
mod to Clorinda and suggested that
f> had better go out and tret into ih?
triage while I was settling the bill
d buying some-cigars, which I wantto
take with me. To this, fortunateshe
made no objection.
'I walked on till I enmo in front of
i smiling individual who was wait;
for my cash, and with as bold an
of inyormco as I coald assume.
I told him I had forgotten my pocket
book in tbe hurry of getting readj
for the theatre, but I would call next
day and settle the bill.
' 'Too thin a story to pass here, sir,
hp ejaculated. 'We do a strictly cash
business.'
" 'I don't want to be bullied abou:
such a trifle,' I continued; bvt the mac
had completely chanced into a hog bj
this time, and, coming out from his
place behind the desk, he looked wick
ed enough to choke me then and there
*' 'I will call a policeman and hav?
you arrested.* lie said, in a menacine
tone, loud enough to be heard by al.
the people in the saloon.
"My blood boiled at the insulting
manner of the man, and I lost all con
trol over my actions.
"Get out of my way and let me pass
you red-headed scoundrel.' I said, as
I made a dash for the door.
"A general scuffle ensued, and I be
liev<* I was giving him a few wellaimed
blows, when, to my horror, a po
liceman rushed in and collared me a?
roughly as if I had been a madman.
" 'What's this all about?" he demand
ed of the clerk, who was blind with
rage.
44 'Arrest that man and take him to
the station house, and I will go down
and make a charge against him.'
" 'But let me explain,' I cried, in a
loud tone.
" 'Explanations at the station house.'
said the officer, as be dragged me into
the street, where a crowd of idlers
had already gathered to see the fun.
"As I reached the sidewalk I saw the
carriage drive off at a rapid rate. I '
learned afterward that Clorinda became
alarmed for her own safety, and
I era/1 +ha <1riwor a Jihoral r<vwil*rl I
if he would drive her to her father's
house. This made matters worse, for
it looked as if she -were an accomplice
of mine, and fled for fear of arrest.
"Imagine the state of my feelings as
I was marshaled through the streets, ^
with a dozen rude boj*s yelling all
around me! When we reached the station
the usual preliminaries were gone
through. The saloon keeper appeared,
and made a charge against me of
'swindling, and deliberate assault without
provocation.'
"I told my story, but of course, it
went for nothing, as the policeman
gave his evidence in affirmation of the
charges, and I was hustled off to a
cell, to pass the uight in thinking over
my troubles. (
"In the morning I teleeranhed to a {
friend downtown, who soon came to 1
my assistance and paid a fine of $10 '
which the police justice imposed on *
me. I went home to my boarding 1
hou3e, and. as luck would have it. the 1
people in the house were ignorant of '
my adventures during the night. I '
suppose they thought I had been on 1
a spree, but they said nothing, and I '
did not enlighten them. 1
"That evening I made up my mind
to call upon my dear Clorinda and her '
parents, for the purpose of explaining 1
my conduct. All through the day I had
been framing excuses which were, for 1
the most part, lies and equivocations. 1
When I reached the door, my heart 1
beat so strongly that I felt my courage 1
giving way, and I stood on the stoop 1
for several minutes before I could sum- (
mon sufficient courage to ring the bell. *
"When the girl came to the door, I
asked if Miss Clorinda -was at home?
She said, 'Yes,' and politely asked me
to 'take a seat in the parlor.'
"In a few moments the servant reappeared,
bearing a card with the compliments
of her mistress. I glanced at
the card, and on it was written in a
clear, delicate hand:
" 'Have you got rubbers on? Have '
you the money to pay for your supper? (
If not. I will lend you the necessary
supply. C. S.'
"I made a dash for the door, and was
soon in the street, fearing that the
father might appear and kick me out
of the house.
"And now. my dear boy, do you wonder
that I am still a bachelor? My advice
to you is?beware of sailing under
false colors."?New York Weekly.
S
The <iranrlmotlier'R Art.
There is the art of being a grandmother?one
of the most agreeable
and useful of a woman's accomplishments.
It has the joys of motherhood
without its responsibilities. The
grandmother at forty is only the beginning
of a grandmother. At sixty
she has a small store of experiences of
whooping cough and college "scrapes"
and love affairs and weddings on
which she may draw as occasion requires,
but at eighty the accumulation
is really splendid.
The grace and repose of the grandmother
preserve ideals for the younger
generation which the strenuous demands
of the world too often force the
mother to neglect. The art of staying
at homo and yet keeping a traveled i
mind and spirit is not acquired before
seventy. " : I
"What are you going to do with your
lcasure?" asked a friend of a woman j
of seventy, who was resigning some
of her lifelong duties to other hands.
"I am going to have it." replied the
wise old woman, "and that will be
enough pleasure for the next ten years.
By that time I may want to do something
else with it."?Youth's Companion.
Voluntary Imposition.
General Sherman onee had occasion
to stop at a country home where a tin
basin and a roller towel on the back
porch sufficed for the family's ablutions.
For two mornings the small
boy of the household watched in silence
the visitor's efforts at making a
toilet under the unfavorable auspices.
but wben on tlie tiiird <iay tne tootubrusb,
nai! tile, \vbisk broom, etc., had
been duly used and returned to thenplaces
in the traveler's grip he could
ruppress his curiosity uo longer, so
boldly put the question: "Say. mister,
air you always that much trouble to
yo'se'fLippincott's.
Not a Manterpiece.
A Scotchman who had married a
widow noted for her plainness, says
Harper's Weekly, was accosted by his
employer:
"Well, Thomas," said the latter, "I
hear you're married. What sort of a
woman is your wife?"
"Weel, sir," answered the Scot,
"she's the Lord's handiwork; but I
cannot say she's just I-Iisvinasterpiece."
There Is no meat trust in Australia.
, Th^re mutton sometimes selis for as
littlp as two cents a Dound.
IN THE -FU1
CtclxJiMb
\
GOVERNOR AND SENATOR-ELECT ]
WISCONSIN, WHOSE GREAT AB IL1
HANCE THE HIGH STANDING W
Nbw ENJOYS IN NATIONAL CO
THE EFFORTS OF SENATOR !
TIVES BABCOCK, ECSH A
NAMES ARE LINKED WITI
L AT ION OR PARTY
MINIATURE CAMERAS. <"
be
Most of us have seen small cameras, Tl
jays a writer in the Scientific Ameri- fo
;an. In fact, comparatively small ones -bj
ire to be found upon the market.
Upon close examination, however, wc
ind that the smallest box-camera fitted
with finder, shutter, stops and dia?hragh
is rather cumbersome to carry ..
n the pocket. If it were not quite necessary
to have a finder and the rest of
?if?r>nc<mripK wa would Drobably
liave little difficulty in locating some
irery small cameras of the pin-hole
type, which make very unsatisfactory
instruments for anything but experiment
Referring to the illustration, we have
two cameras photographed upon a
man's hand, so as to show their relative
sizes. The smallest one in the
picture, the outside measurements of
which are one and one-fourth inch by
)ne and one:fourth inch by one ana
three-fourth inch, requires only a brief
lescripticn, as it is merely a single
ixposure camera, having few of the
aeeessary features that go to make
in tho nrncH-eal instumeut. This little
:amera will take a picture three-fourtli
inch by three-fourth inch, and is provided
with a . disk shutter set for instantaneous
exposures.
The larger camera shown in the pbo:ograph
is quite complete in every
letail, and is capable of turning out tc
\v
MINIATUIIK CAMERAS. m
;vork, I feel safe in saying, commensu- ^
nta wrifii tiio skill nf thfv onerator. I
This camera-takes twenty-five pictures ^
upon a film five-eighth inch wide, made .
>y cutting a conveniently wide com- Qr
nercial film into strips. This stripping g
jrocess Las to be done in the dark
oom, and is best accomplished by usng
a sharp knife, cutting against
jlass, the knife being guided by a metallic-edged
rule. "
It may not be out of place to say
ight Lere that my best negatives were Si
)btained by using a weak developer a
md by suspending the film in a red s*
>ottle, which allowed me to view the 1)1
c<
HISTORIC ST. JOHN'S CHU
This Episcopal church was built in :
President's Church or Church of State,
dents have attended there. It Is just a
White House. Though most unassuminf
most aristocratic church at the National
ferved for the President and other sit tin
tion. A majority of the Presidents, hov?
President Roosevelt gqea to the mode* 11
4eBonatB*tloiL
BLIC EYE..
I
1%: i
BEKHBK
|
ROBERT M. LAFOLLETTE OP
[TY AND ENERGY WILL ENHICH
THE BADGER STATE
UNCILS AS A RESULT OF
SPOONER, REPRESENTAlND
OTHERS WHOSE
I IMPORTANT LEGISLEADERSHIP.
m during the develooing process by
>lding the bottle up to the sunlight,
ae fixing, too, was conveniently perrmorl
in n wiflp-mnilthed bottle. The
*po bottle need- not be colored.
THAT STORK LEG.
Attention was invited the other day
> a stork, kept in London as a pet,
hich moves about on one real and
le wooden leg as readily as thougli
>th legs were natural. Reverting to
le matter, here now is a sketcli of
tat wonderful leg. When storkie
ies the leg may be placed in some mu;um
as a model of one of Nature's
ays of doing things.
How to Plow a Field.
In plowing a field, many pefsons
ake the mistake of plowing round
id round it Ln the same old way,
?ar after year, until on all sides of
a fio'ii Miprf* forms a ridire or high
ink near the fence. The proper way
to plow a field -with a back furrow,
ie side at a time and all around the
fid.?Country Life in America.
Romance of Immigration.
The pleasantest Ellis Island report of
ie year is that of the 223 marriages
hich took place at the station in the
x mounths ending June 30. This is
gain of twenty-three over the correjonding
period of last year. The
rides were girls whose lovers had
)me across first to prepare the way
>r them.?New York World.
The Rlchent Language.
The English language, according to a
rormuu statistician who has ma?e a
tudy of the comparative wealth of
inguages, heads the list with the
aormous vocabulary of 200,000 words.
German comes noxt with SO,000, Italia
with 73,000, French with 30,000,
'urkiah with 22,500 and Spanish with
0,000.?Philadelphia Ledger.
3ip"~SP15
ECH I N WASHING TON.
1816 and is popularly known as the
from the fact that so many Presicross
LaFayette Square from the
* as church edifices go, this is the
capital. In it a pew is speciaBy reigs
are sold at high prices by aucever,
have attended other churchea.
ttle Grace Church, of the Reformed
I
Roots For tho 1*1 sr. '
"Wherever roots are used as part of j
tHeir rations, quite remarkable results i
are obtained, apparently out of all pro- \
portion to the feeding value of the <
roots. This seems to show that the \
roots serve to render the grain food (
more digestible. Although pigs do uot ]
like raw turnips, yet when the turnips
are cooked and mixed with raw pota- \
toe* or cabbage, they will eat them
readily. When a small amount of <
bran is fed with this mash good gains
are made.?American Cultivator. i
To Complete tlie Ration.
We read a great deal nowadays in j
the farm papers about balanced' rations.
Such information enables ^he (
farmer to feed liis animals so tent no
can get the most profit out of them for |
the cost of the food. Such information
is good, and we want to encourage it;
but those who feed animals should al- (
ways bear in mind that a ration is
uever perfectly balanced unless there
is a little "kindness" mixed in with |
it. You need have no fear of using
too much "kindness." for the more you
use the better: but very, very grave
results oftentimes happen to those who
do not make use of it at all.?Weekly
Witness.
Developing Suitable Sheep.
A writer in the Shepherd's Criterion
says that "to develop a good flock of
breeding sheep for wool and mutton I
would begin with ewes that are half
Cotswold and half ilerino and mate
that with a buclc twit is a ruu moouea
Shropshire. In this crpss you get a
grade of sheej) that is hard to'beat
for both woo] and mutton. By this
method I once got a twin lamb that
shears, when a little more than a year
old, sixteen pounds of good wool and ,
when a year and a half old the carcass
weighed 1G0 pounds. I cross my sheep
back and forth as my judgment tells
me is best. If the sheep are getting
too wrinkly and the wool too short I
get either a Cotswold, Oxford or
Shropshire buck, and if the fleece is
getting too hairy and light in weight I
breed back to the Merinos.'
\Tr?iU Are Ead Enemies.
A North Dakota man, who thinks
weeds the worst enemy to be met with
in the production of a garden, writes
the Farm, Stock and Home that they
must be fought early, late and all the
time. The best time to kill them is
before they appear above ground. If
tne garuen 1S mrge u jjuuu uiiuun 10
the best of -weed killers. Corn and
potatoes can be harrowed once a week
from the time they are planted until
four inches high. If the garden is
small the iron hand rake and wJieel
hoe are indispensable Plow all the
garden as soon as you are ready to
plant the fir3t early vegetables; then
once a week stir the unplanted ground,
about an inch deep, with hoe or rake,
and thus destroy the weeds while
young and tender. It must be remembered
that the secret of a good garden '
is constant and careful cultivation.
Snbdainp Flying Fowln.
When fowls are kept confined they
get uneasy and long for freedom; this
is particularly the case with tbe smaller
breeds, says an exchange. The common
method of prevention is to clip
the wings of the thirds, not a desirable
thing to do if they happen to be liighclnss
fowls. A better plan is to attach
the little arrangement here described.
Take a stout cord and tie around the
points of the feathers on the wings
mainly used in flying. Tie one wing
in this manner, then pass the cord over
the back and tie the other wing. Bo
| careful not to draw the cord too tight,
j but leave it so that the fowl can carry
HAEKESS FOB FLYING FOWLS.
the wings in a natural position and
it will do no harm, yet the bird will
not be able to fly any distance.
The Value of Silage.
The best milk produced in the United
States, says G. N. Knapp, of the Wisconsin
Station, as well as the milk produced
at the greatest net profit, is
milk produced from silag?. The cows
? ^ + i*;0 rvkilir opa /\f rrnnvan nnt
primming uno uiim an,
fed exclusively on silage, but it is because
of the cheapness ot' silage and of
the Intrinsic value" of silage as a feed
that sucb milk can be produced and
produced so cheaply.
In the coru belt wtere cattle are finished
for market anf men of long experience
make a business, or a profession.
of producing beef, they find that
better beef, as well as more rapid
gains are obtained by feeding silage.
The steers are not fattened on silage,
but silage is a very important supplement
to the fattening ration. Sheep
are found to utilize .silage to good advantage;
many feeders make silage
more than half the winter ration for
their sbrcp. Hogs anil horses are also
fed silage to advantage.
Because of such facts as these, which
are becoming more and more apparent,
the interest iu silage and silos 1s growing
rapidly among farmers who appreciate
the necessity of a cheaper ration
as well as the importance of a succulent
food. Silage is coming to be regarded
as an indispensable adjunct to
successful farming.
I.ive Stock Kntlnnft.
The Department or Agriculture
iu preparation a farmers' bulletin, the'
advancc sheets of which indicate a
number of instructive discussions.
In an article on "Grain Rations For.
Animals" the statement is made that,
it is better to use two or three kinds of (
grain in making tip a ration than to
feed one exclusively, and the feeder
should always aim to prepare palatable
?r?si? miliums Rations should also
' - - ' ' - ^
be bulky, to avoid digestive disturbances.
Many feeders use from onethird
to one-half wheat bran in order
to obtain the necessary bulk. Corn
silage and chopped bay constitute dilutents
or distributors of ihe heavy concentrates.
Among tables given the following
are selected:
1?One-third bran, one-half gluten
feed and one-sixth cottonseed meal.
2?One-third bran, one-third cottonseed
meal and one-third corn meal.
3?One-half bran and one-half gluten
feed.
4?One-fourth malt sprouts, onefourth
. mixed feed, one-half gluten
feed.
5?One-fifth malt sprouts, two-fifths
corn meal and two-fifths gluten feed.
G?One-third cottonseed meal, one:hird
flour middlings and one-third corn
meal.
7?One-half corn meal, one-fourth
cottonseed mea! and one-fourth oat
middlings or rye feed.
Seven pounds is the usual quantity to
lie fed daily to cows producing ten to
twelve ouarts of milk. The richer the
milk the more feed needed. Many
feeders find it economy to use but five
pounds of grain daily and feed maximum
amounts of rougliage.
%
Sow Some Barloy.
Wheat and barloy sowing season will
soon be here, so let me impress on your
farmer readers the importance of a
bariey crop. As the writer has had experience,
he feels it a duty to lend encouragement
to those not skeptical in
raising barley. My last year's farming
was thirteen years ago, when I had
forty-five bushels to the acre, while I
only had thirteen bushels of wheat
to the acre right by the side of my
barley and the same quality of land
(sandy), and all sowed at the same time
and drilled alike, one and one-fourth
bushels to the acre. Harvested barley
13th of June, and wheat the 29th;
stacked and thrashed at same time.
Sold wheat at sixty-eight cents and
barley at sixty cents. It is easy to
compare expense and profits.
Sowing was done first days of September.
Barley should be sowed socm
after the middle of August, as it requires
early sowing so the crop can get
au early start.to grow up and cover the
ground before white frosts or winter.
No danger of fly in barley.
Best soil is a sandy lojyn, or dry ciay.
Never wet or sprouty, or where water
can stand over at any time of the
year?well tiled clay will do, but loam
or sand is- best. An ordinary soil for
wheat will raise good barley. Barley
doesn't grow as high as wheat by six
or eight inches, and the straw is soft
as oats straw, and is better feed for
stock than wheat or oats, and the
beards are full six inches in length
and are relished by all kinds of stock
the same as the straw, and in shocking
and stacking makes a thatching almost
like shingles.
The grain is good feed for all kinds
of stock and poultry, and when ground
with equal parts of corn makes the
best feed for milch cows that can be
had, and k> sum It all up it is a rich
feed, and those that have the right
kind of ground will burn daylight for
a candle when they fail to raise barley,
and if they have more than they can
feed, sell it to feeders, and, not to
brewers, as feed won't make drunk,
but beer will, and drunk will fight and
kill, and play havoc generally.?Henry
Baker, in Indiana Farmer.
The Life of the Soil.
Every time crops are hauled away off
the farm, life is hauled away from the
soil, and the farm loses in value. Even
hauling away hay and straw is pretty
nearly as bad; and the old-time way of
burning straw is worse.
I knew an eccentric man once who
would not even have his fruit gathered
and made use of, because he said it
was due to the earth to return to her
what she had taken the trouble to produce!
tiio Tndinn fo.flnv wlm fi?hts aeainst
civilization, says, "Grass?mother
Earth hair. I not cut mother hair.
Earth?mother breast. I not plowmother
breast!"
But to get value from the farm, something
must be shipped. The question
is, what shall that be, to be the most
advantageous*.'
The answer, according to a friend of
mine, is "That which will take the
least value from the soil, and which
will be the most easily replaced. To
this end the value must be in the most
concentrated form."
Clearly, meat stuffs; cream and eggs
are highly concentrated products. Of
course the cost of production and the
market values uave to ue fuijam:icu m
making the selectiou.
Everything raised on the farm (what
is not wanted for the family lardei),
can be turned into these crops. More
money can be made off them than off
other things. When you haul them
away, you leave the bulk of the life
of the soil behind. Live weight and
cream weight have so little bulk, comparatively,
and the small extraction of
fertility can be replaced at small cost.
The skim milk occupies a corresponding
place to the cream, that the permanent
pasture does of the live stock,
when it goes eventually to the cattle
dealer.
A Government bulletin makes "skim"
worth from fifteen to thirty-five cents
a hundred for feeding purposes. Fed
to poultry it is easily worth from thirty-five
to fifty cents.?L. A. N., in In*
diinq TOnrmpi'.
Good TVIiifewnnh For Trees.
In the New England States whitewash
is frequently applied to fruit
trees, especially apple trees,-'and seems
to have the effect of keeping off fungus
and insect pests. The whitewash as
used there is generally made by simply
slaking the lime with cold water. But'
it would be better to slake thi? lime
?-iHi hnt -tvator. it may bo made to
stick bettor by adding somo skimmed
milk. Some even lieat some glue, and
wlien it has become a thin liquid dilute
it with hot water and add it to the
wash. This still further helps the
sticking quality.
Better treatment for liorses wonted
in battle is being s"-yht by C
ligh Church Society for Promoting
Kindness io Animals.
.
1
THE LANGUAGE OF CITIES. v
\
She asked with enchanting grace?^
(To talk to her with perfect bliss)?What
was his own, his native place; \
Said he, "I am from Jaeksou, Miss ' ,
Oh, towns that suffer from a fire,
If friendly fakes would useful bflA
In your distress, just send a wire
To Doctor Baltimore, MD.
Why did old Barnum do so well
In foisting fakes mankind upon?
The reason's easy quite to tell?
He used a deal of Bridgeport, Conn.
Said Julius Hardup, "Goodness knows
I can't hire help. I wonder?gosh!
If I agreed to iron the clothes,
I wonder would Olympia, Wash.?"
"Whom are you with?" the father
jCTied;
"Have you permission from your
ma?" *3
"Why, yes, indeed," the maid replied;
"?ind this is Mr. Scranton, Pa."
Tbe constant growth of Gotham town
k> such a dire and dismal pill,
Whene'er she sets the figures down
It always makes Chicago, 111.
i
"We must have speakers, if we'd win.
And get the State in line again!"
The boss declared, and to begin
Gave Bristol five and Memphis, Tenn.
' '.|
It is the girl who marries a rough
diamond who often gets-.the- most real
diamonds to wear.?Life. ' t
"Did he earn a large salary with that
company?" "No. He didn't earn it.
He just drew it."?Washington Star.
Great wealth may often signify,
A reckoning without the host. .
The things that riches cannot buy
Are those the rich man wants tne most.
"What's this I hear about your giving
up your regular practice?" "Had
to; didn't have time for it. I have been
appointed physician to an auto club."?
Houston Post.
y>j
"The man died eating watermelons,"
some one said to Brother Dickey,
"Yes, sub," he replied; "sometimes
Providence puts us in paradise 'fo' we
gits tcr heaven!"?Atlanta Constitution.
"You may refuse me now," said the
persistent suitor, "but I can wait 'All
things come to him who waits.'"
"Yes," replied the dear girl, "and I
guess the first thing will be father; I
hear him on the stairs."?Philadelphia
Ledger.
Lady Driver of Automobile to
Tramps by the Wayside ? "Can you
show us the way to Great Missingden,
please?" Weary Willie?"Cert'nly,
Miss, cert'nly. We're agoin' that way.
'Op up, Joe. Anythink to oblige a
lady!"?Punch.
A penniless fellow na- Gough
Contracted a very baa cough,
Now, he hadn't the dough
To pay the doctor's bills, sough,
Unaided, he shook the cough ough.
?Philadelphia Pres8.
"You know Borem, don't" you?"
"Oh. just well enough to say 'how are
vqu?'" "Well, don't .do it." "What
, uo you mean?" "Don't say 'how are
you?' to bim. If you do,- he'll hold
you up for. ten or fifteen minutes and
tell you."?Philadelphia Press.
"Yes," said the magnate, "I began * ^
life penniless, and now see where I
am." "Ob. cheer up," said the happy
i tA/vS-infv ASt'Mno 1
| UUt CiCCUJ -iVUJMiljj XUU1I1UUU>.
haps you cau find a college or a church
some day that will relieve you of youi
money."?Manchester Mirror an&American.
Mr. Staylate?"My! it's 10 o'clock,
.However, my train doesn't go till 11.10*
and it's very pleasant hore on the
porch." Miss Subbubs?"I'm glad you
like it." Mr. Staylate?"Yes, but?er?
perhaps I'm keeping you up." Miss
Subbubs?"Not at all; I'm going to lock
up and go to bed now."?Philadelphia
Press.
Sach is Balzac'* Fame.
Notwithstanding the lectures and appreciations
ol Mr. Henry James, the
genius of Balzac 'is not undsrstood in
all quarters. There Is one Nin?ty-seventh
street woman who is particularly
deficient in .her knowledge of French
fiction. She was calling on a friend*
the other day, who owns a very fine
S2t of Balzac's works. In this edition
the title of the volume sometimes called
"The Magic Skin" is translated "Wild
Ass' Skin."
"I would like to sell the books," said
the woman who owns tJiem, "but I
am afraid I couldn't get anything for
them. It is nn excellent edition, too,
and cost me a heap of money. The
binding is especially fine."
The Ninety-seventh street heathen
held in her hand at that moment the
volume labehnl "Wild Ass' Skin." She
looked at it curiously.
"Yes," she said in all sincerity, "I
imagine it is. T don't know anything
about the different binding of books,
but I suppose wild ass' skin is very
good."?New York Press.
A Biographical Kulc.
On? of the most helpful books to
keep upon your table, ready to be consulted
as you read other books, is a
biographical dictionary. Then, when
you come to some historical character
about whom your knowledge is a little
faded, it will require but a moment
to refresh your memory and
make your reading more intelligent.
You have a right to the acquaintanceof
these distinguished men and women,
and should keep up at least friendly
relations with them, if for no other
nvwnn than in cratitude for what they.
have done to make your life pleasant.
?St. Nicholas.
Yukon'* Great Day.
What St. George's Day is to Britain,
what Dominion Day is to Canada,
and what Independence Day Is to the
American Republic, is August 10 to
the Yukon. It was on that day nine
years ago that Skookum Jim washed
out his famous pan on Rabbit Creek,
whose result was the bringing of thousands
of people to the country and r&o;nriching
the world by $11>0,900,000 la
gold.?Yukon World.