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, i || THE TREASURE SHIP. j||.; BY fSANE LILLIJ5 POLLOCK. jHj wait through the days dark-hearted, my ship of desire comes home, I sent oa a course uncharted bM Through a Jong, unfurrowed foam, ( j^KT) the shores of my boyhood's pleasure, , B And the ultimate" isles of truth, jB.Wherc I buried a lordly treasure 1 In the richness of my youth? WPale pearls -md rubies' raptiwe, gM Amber and spice *nd gold, ' HtThe cargo of every capture ?|T That I made on" the'seas of old. jH'A nd I sailed away, unknowing I would come that way no more. ^KBut my ship shall rind it glowing I S In the sand of the secret shore. N , ffhey will lift and load the plunder,' , ' |g| Till my ship ehalfet glimmer bright i IWith the wealth of my old-time wonder, i And the dream of my old delight. j And I wait by the slow years failing; I ( fl- It is long since she went to sea. i ?HAj^||?k|ken to hear her hailing; HBHspBB^^eomes not back to me. ? vSeA _ f IlWas she sacked by the sons of slaughter, ' [ Sunk by the ships of crime, [That sweep the past's weird water, t I Black buccaneers of time? I I have seen their flags ill-fat^d. I have felt^. their dark blockade; And they knew-"?he was treasure-freijr>fted; And they knew what course she laid. t But still by the slow sea's drifting, ( Where the ghostly ventures roam, il watfh for her topsails hfting That i3 bringing r>y- treasure home. ?Youth's Companion. ?????????????? 1 Mr. Raspbsrry's ' Euse. * , l? * > Q?Q?0--+> V 1 Bj Mary Kyle Dallas, ft! 1 i O ee my friends mourn jj| __ Jj for me after I am dead j io rP O would be the most charm- i m ?* ing emotion 2 could experi- i \e&Xr ence." ! Mr. Raspberry used often to say tliis i *0 his valet, and the valet always an- ; cwered: '"La, sir, you couldn't do it, sir. you I know; because after folks is expired, *V*/>* a ! MA*??/v*?Ai1 +h}o V*ora ! w u * f ? UCT au iciuwtcu LII/UI, IUIO "tiw ? . waie of tears, sir. I think?begging , pardon, sir?that it would be an unbap- : piness." ". -"No, no, Perkins," said Mr. Rasp- s berry?"no, no; you don't understand these finer feelings." ! . To -which the valet always replied: 5\ "JiQ. sir?probably not, sir." f This was before Mr. Raspberry's !wedding. and for a year after this cere- 1 mony Perkins had heard nothing of the formerly often-expressed wish. ) But one winter morning, as Mr. Raspberry read the account of a dreadful railway accident, he said again, as I though he had never left off: 1 "How delightful it would be to see Due's friends mourn for one!" : : This time Perkins answered: : I "But missus would take on so." "*~A'The very thing," said Mr. Raspberry "Perkins, can you keep a se- < cret?" I i "Inwaluate," said Perkins, who was I prone to the use of words but vaguely < understood?"inwaluate." < "Then, Perkins," said Mr. Raspberry, *1 am goiDjar to meet with a railway i aecidenf. It's all arranged," said Mr. Kaspberry. ] "Gracious!" said Perkins. "Dear me. sir: I hone not. sir!" said 1 Perkins. "I'm to be put at the head of the list of killed." said Raspberry. "A reporter ""ITIukjw has promised to do it. On an ] average, there's an accident a week? i the next one I'm to be in." "Be# pardon, sir?won't it be susin- ; ^ideT' asked Perkins. t" "I don't mean to be killed," said , [Raspberry?"only reported so." "La!" said Perkins; "but poor young ; missus." 1 ; "The very thing," said Raspberry. V'l am much older than she is?twenty i years." He was forty-five. "And I j should like to see how she would ( mourn for me after I was gone, if it j should bp rnv fate to 20 first. I shall ibid her adieu as though s?oing upon a 1 journey, anil then hide myself in these j rooms of mine. "When the accident . occurs and she sees the paper, 1**11 take < care to be at hand. My nephew, Julius, ( will grieve, too. I've been indulgent to him, and she will breaJ: her little i I "Yes. sir: but, sir. won't she be angry | fevhcn she huds out it's a hoax?" asked i Perkins. < 5 "She shall never find it out." said < Raspberry, "never. I'll tell her it was ] n false report. That I was on the ] train, ?but escaped."' ' "Yes, sir." said Perkins, doubtfully, j and he brushed his master's hair in a thoughtful manner. . j Remonstrance was in his eye, but .< Mr. U.-iSDberrv oared nothinsr for th:it. . ?He bad determined on bis course of < A conduct. That very day be went through a 4 QBIttlc (Irania of his own concoction, rea letter, declared that \xrgent < Sfflg^fciness req'.iived his presence in an- j gSBicr city, packed a valise, bade adieu 1 ||V his wife, and jamped into a cab at i Hc door. At midnight be was secretly assisted ] V.1o re-enter the house by a back win- "! dow. and repaired tu his dressing room. Ksegretly provisioned as for a siege, V>rith pot'ed meats, biscuit, canned fruit | nnu other delicacies, by the active Per- j 1- There lie remained for at least a 1 woek before Perkins, glancing over the 1 morning paper, saw a list of the killed c :i:ui wounded in great black letters an [llic front pag*. with Mr. Royal Rasp- * berry's name at the bead thereof. Then Ferkii.s' heart quailed. L "It's too bad for missus," he mused. ' 'If she is sorry it may half kill her. 1 If she isn't, she'll pay for it. I'll tell ! licr. and if I am fired for if. I hope I'll find a master with more hair to . fix and less anxious to have it done 1 various and becoming." b Then Perkins took the paper and (|alk:.'d into his lady's sitting room. Mc'PIeasc'in," lie said, "I've got some- j M thing to tell you?don't be alarmed?it's 1 master." ? \ *?b, rei'Lius!" cried the tadr. "Ob. " " w --.Sy " Perkins: you've got tlie newspaper!) SVtat is it? Oh! oh! oh!" "It ain't nuthin' of that natur'," said ? Perkins. "Master is alive, and well, I md upstairs, eating: potted shad and ! . raclcers." 'Whan lirt rnmpT' asked wife, "and what do you mean by shut- i L<a? the door?" "Perkins," cried Mr. Raspberry's lephew, Julius, "if you have anything j to teli. out with it: don't stand there farming us. My dear uncle is not ill?" "He will be if he eats much more ihad," said Perkins. "But he's well at present, but he's too romantic. He's lttemptin' to harrer up your feelings, [n p'iut of fact, in order to see you nourn for him, he's hiding upstairs. R-hile he's reported squashed in this iere railroad accident. It's a dretful me. He paid a reporter to put him n. mum, the first that happened." "Don't show me the dreadful thing." :aid Mrs. Raspberry. "Ob, how could *oyal be so heartless?how could he? sro matter, I'll punish him. and I'll not WA11 alfhan Tall ACv Rjianhiirrv /rtiaj j vui v * v?? ua% [ have the news, and let him spy upon ne when he pleases." ''Yes, ma'am," said Perkins. "She's got it, sir," said Perkins, ten ninutes after. "It was carried in." "Aha!" said Raspberry. "Now I shall , >ee what grief my demise will cause. Tulius is there?" "Yes, sir," said Perkins. And Raspberry, in slippered feet repaired to a peephole prepared before- j land in a door pane!. All was silence, j "She is lying in a swoon upon the \ 3oor," thought Raspberry, with a I lualm of conscience. But in a moment he saw the lady ; smiling and beating time to an air she ! summed with the folded newspaper, j ' She has not read it yet," thought Raspberry. "How delightfnl! I shall see the whole." He applied his eye more closajy to the iperture. Just then the lady spoke. | "If all we read is true, we are rid of tiim." "Yes. the old stupid!" said Mr. Julius. 'I suppose he's left you everything?" "T so." snid the ladv. "I shall jo into deep mourning and a cap?the style becomes me?and I shall be a iashihg young widow as soon as I dare. [ hate being mewed up here. I shall travel to the watering places and enjoy' myself." "Good Heaven!" moaned Mr. Raspberry. "What do I hear?" "And I will accompany you," said. Julius. "Certainly,"~said the lady. "And you need not call me aunt auy more." "Never again," said Julius. "But by i dearer name^oon." "Oh. go away! Don't It's improper so soon," said the lady. "I shall die!" said Mr. Raspberry 'Ob. I shall die in earnest." But rage and curiosity rooted him to the spot. Julius had sunk on his knees before Mrs. Raspberry, and taken lier hand. "You will be mine," he said. "Oh. yes, Julius." said Mrs. Raspkanww f ai? c?a!ra wo /MtnrHi L/Vi L J WUt IWi 1.WIU4 .J PUttV ?' W vw^u? to attend to Mr. Raspberry's remains." "Bother!" said Julius. "Since they've smashed the old fellow, let them sweep , liim away and finish it What do we want of him?" The horrible words broke the spell cast upon Mr. Raspberry: he dashed the door open and darted forward. "You'll find me more difficult to sweep away than you imagine," he cried. "Perjured woman, false and wicked Julius, behold me and dread my vengeance!" Then Mr. Raspberry shook both his fists and lifted them heavenward, at which Mrs. Raspberry laughed more lieartily. "You can laugh?you!" he cried. ' Yes, I." said Mrs. Raspberry; "and when next you get up a little farce, remember that other people may be able to do likewise. For one rehearsal. Julius and I have done very well. Now. sir. beg my pardon for trying *to llarm me. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." ' Then you?you knew!" gasped Sir. Raspberry. "Oh. Adelaide, tell me you knew!" "I certainly knew," said Mrs. Raspberry. "and prepared a little surprise for you. If, instead, you had seen me Irop dead upon the floor, you would liave been happy, cruel man!" "Thank Heaven!" said Mr. Raspberry. sinking into chair. "You almost killed me, Adelaide?how could you! And. Julius?ah. I suffered too much. Sweep me away. As a joke it was bad enough, but in earnest " Then Mrs. Rnspberry condescended to offer her lips to Sir. Raspberry, and Mr. Raspberry consented to receive the proffered for?ivenes3, though he still ooked doubtfully at Julius; and domeslie felicity was restored by the arrival >f a hot dinner, which, after the cold refreshments of the past week, were highly acceptable to Mr. Raspberry. "But, Perkins." said Mr. Raspberry, is his vaiet performed his next toilet, j 'But. Perkins. I will never try to play ! 1 trick upon a woman again. I'm not I sharp enough for them. If I had ; really been killed, she would have rrieved?eh. Perkins V" j ' Undoubtedly, sir." said Perkins; 'and Mr. Julius, too. sir." But for all that, nephew Julius was | >ent out to Paris as eorrespondpnt for in important house, very shortly, and j 'ound on his uncle's death that bis j lame was not remembered iu the will, j He had acted too naturally, and Mr. j Raspberry never forgave him.?New I icork Weekly. L,inyoi*ri? at Dinner. At the dinner given by Father Reis, ; >astor of the Church of San Lorenzo, I :o the English-speaking priests of the ! ;ity there were present eight clergynen of the Catholic Church, every one j >f whom was a linguist. Including English, which they all : nAL'/k flnonl It* t'vi *-/ * ? I ' , luc u/uu miiutici VI anguages spoken by the party of ei?ht j imounted to twenty-eight, an average i )f three and a lialf languages to each ' nan. This fact was ascertained by an ' ictual investigation, which Father rlunt-OuiTez. whose inquisitiveness ir. inguistic matters is well knowa, made | luring the dinner.?Mexican Keratd. Death of Horseflie*. Florida has a peculiar fly called the liors?2tuard." which has tb^ appear- ! nice of a hornet. This fly follows the j lorses and catches the horseflies that I I on them, but does "anoe the i inimals themselves. ART IN PHI f- " | 1 i The photo George hud token at $5 per dozen to give to his various girls?aud Bullets From the Billy. Tlie policeman in a street scrap get* orally endeavors to make use of HI; club as a primary means of defense and resorts only to his pistol when 11 is absolutely necessary, it frequently happens that at the moment when th( officer of the law decides that he musi make use of the shooter, he is not al ways able to get it, being too busy ir warding off the blows of his adver eary In the little contest which he Has | on hand. His pistol under these cir j cumstances is as useless an if It wen miles away, and for the purpose ol answering ail emergency of this kind a recent indention combines the clut policeman's clcb and pistol. ' and the pistol in such a manuer tha I they are both available as the exigen | cies of tbe occasion demand. j The implement consists of two parts I the mace and the handle. The latte; Is supplied wJth a hammer njechanisa and with a handle which does well foi either purpose. Between these tw< parts it is 'possible to tit a cylindei with cartridge-carrying chambers, s< that an officer desiring to be armed foi any emergency may do so by fitting and loading the cylinder.?Philadelphij | ttecoru. Height of Pygtnle*. i Among the most interesting ethno i logic exhibitions at the St. Louis ! World's Fair was a group of pygmies I from the Wlssmanu Falls region oi ! the Congo Free State. Although thej . do not look as small as the imagina ; tions of many readers of books oi I African travel have perhaps picturec ; them, yet they plainly belong to f diminutive race of mankind. A write! in Scionce, comparing the various measurements of ttiese pygmies, nnc others allied to them, arrives at tin conclusion that the average height oi these small men is a little more thai j four feet eight inches, or about on< i foot less than that of the normal man Beethoren Lilted Inscription. An interesting Beethoven relic was i put up for auction at Berlin recently ; iu the shape of an inscription copied j by Beethoven himself from ChampolJ lion's "Egyptian Pictures," the original ! of which is stated to have been in a temple erected to the tioddess Neith| It runs as follows: "I am everything j that exists. I am everything that is. that was and that will be. No mortal i lias lifted my veil. He is only of Himi self, and to Him alone everything owes j its being." , Beethoven liked the Inscription, be .muse, he said, it corresponded with j iis own views on religion, fc'or that ! reason he had it always before him on (lis study table. I i There are 23,000 kilometers of telegraph lines in Brazil, 21,'JOO i:i Argen tina. 10,100 in Chile, 7400 In Uruguay. 43(H) in Bolivia, 4700 in Peru and 780 in Paraguay. There are now eighteen cotton mills in the Argentine Republic. A MAMMO Two borses easily pull such a reranrka twenty tons, over tbe artificially consti I OTOQRAPHY. ,i 11 ^n)' ^ Celt* )[ tetfy* yf2~ 1 T^je one taken at police headquarters after he had failed to account for $1.30 to the lirm who employed him as a collector. . Explosion of a Land Mine Jfoar Pot Arthur. iS?B^B^53Rsp ^^^^ej'iw":3^KKnS^ : s^^eSiSllSISaMi n- xcflci hv the ftfoidental toucbins off of one of their land mines that the j Russian garrison recently i03t 700 men. Arizona Forever! The inherent brain3 and resources of. Arizona are forcing her to the froat In every capacity she is asserting her superiority and knocking the persim mon. Last Friday Clay McGonagil, at the steertylng tournament at El Paso roped and tied his steer in 128 seconds flat Our Arizona cowboys, like alJ other Arizona institutions, are strictly ( in the lead. They may not have that ( quality of stove polish on them that distinguishes Eastern society, but they simply have the "stiift" in them to : "get there." You cannot shut Arizona off. She has the copper, she has the gold, the ! ?si cfAAl- fha /vontitrot I Sliver, Hit; icau, iuc oiui.a, iI r' ing climate and the brains, the vigor | j and originality, the self-reliance, and , ? she is-irrepressible. Ail eyes are upon ! j her, a million hopes arc staked upon r her resources, her sunshine and her i j wild, free magnificence, and they will . . all be realized. The rich man comes r here to grow richer, the plain man is ' here to better his circumstances, the ! invalid comes here for health and strength, the disconsolate come' to Arizona for the comfort and cheer our j - salubrious climate and hospitable so- j > ciety affords?Tombstone Epitaph, j f Iteasons For La tighter. 7 >vnen me young misue&a ul iw * house entered the kitchen she carried [ her3eif with great dignity. She had I come to call the cook- to account. I i "Mary," she said, "I must insist that ' r you keep better hours, and that you 3 have less company in the kitchen at I night. Last night I was kept awake i because of the uproarious laughter ot t one of your women friends." 1 'Yis, mum, 1 know," Mary replied, iTcheerfully, "but she couldn't help it . I was telling her how you tried to( make cake yesterday morning."?Uir mingham (Eugland) i'ost. iTSis PUBLIC EYE. COLONEL YOUNOHUSBAND, Who led the British expedition to L'Hassa in Tibet. iTH LOAD. ible load, weighing ofteu more than ucted ice roads in the Northern forests. ?From the Booklovers' Magazine. MVV,VAVVAVVAVAVMfc S HOUSEHOLD * * * ? g ? ? * * MATTERS ? iWiWA'^VAVAWwi To Sweeten Iced Ten. For sweetening tea, many cafes now serve a syrup made by melting granulated sugar in. hot wfter and cooled rather than the-fSucar. which often does not melt. For Rattling Wiodjwi. Get jour carpenter to let you bare some small wedge shaped pieces of wood. One of these firmly fixed on each side between the window and the frame will prevent any rattling. Sprayer For Insecticide*. The way to apply liquid insecticides to house plants is often a puzzle, and a bothersome sort of thing at most times. A very nice sprayer, with a very fine hose, is specially designed for insecticides. You fill a rubber bulb with the liquid, minute perforations covering one side of the bulb. By operating the handle, . ^hich works like a scissors, a piece at iron presses against the bulb, ejecting from it a fine spray. A Handy Button Box. The nicest arrangement for holding buttons that I have ever seen is made in this way. Procure some of the small pasteboard boxes used by druggists, those which slide in and out of a frame like a drawer. Sir of them make a box of convenient size, being placed together in two rows of three boxes each, (he rows running up aud down, and the ends of the boxes so placed that they are at the front aud back of the finished box. To fasten the boxes together, use a wide, ribbon which is tied entirely around them from side to side, thu3^.holding them firmly in place, being finished at the top with a large bow. A button can be sewed to the front of each box to show the kind contained in it, and two boxes should be reserved for hooks and eyes and safety pins. The buttons which are sewed on the box also serve as handles by which td pull out the drawers more easily. When boxes of uniform size and color are selected, a very neat appearing article will be the result. In a large family where a great many puttona are useu. mm: boxes will make a button box of more convenient size, though three rows of three boxes each vdocs not make one of-as attractive form, as the other.Myra Bradshaw, in The Epitomist.' A Proltjr Table Decoration. It was invented on the spur of the moment for p home wedding; it proved an immense success; and was later repea ted to hang over the table for a very stunning luncheon. It was nothing more or less than a small canopy of flowers, which was as exquisite as a thing could well be; and the way it was made wasn't one of those delightfully impossible methods that it takes a trained decorator and .<? fwinlA nf assistants to work Ollt. A Japanese paper umbrella was tlie base of it all, with the handle mysteriously seeming to go the wrpng way and coming out on top of the umbrella. As a matter of fact, the umbrella had simply been cleverly turned inside out. This was for the wedding, to be hung from a high ceiling ?r>r the luncheon: the handle was cut off quite close to the "catch," and the umbrella suspended to the chandelier by the little knob on top. All over the inside of the umbrella were caught flowers?white roses, with plenty of green leaves and vines. They were held in place by deftly tacked stitches, set in over stems, where the leaves would hide them. And the umbrella was covered with them on top. too, the handle being wreathed with vines, until the whole, thing looked like a great exquisite flower. For the luncheon only the inside was covered?and that with delicate pink flowers: and still another time one was covered all in green, with a row of pink roses'just at the edge. It ia one of the prettiest bits of home decoration imaginable, yet the tacking is easy enough for the veriest amateur to do, and artificial flowers might be used, if real ones were hard to get. Even cleverly made paper flowers might be substituted. I Coffee Cake Without Eggs?One heaping cup of sugar, one cup of strong coffee, one-third cup of butter, three scant cups of flour and trpro heaping teaBpoonfuls of baking- powder sifted in the flour. Cream Pie With One Crust?Beat together two eggs, one-half cup of sugar and one tablespoonful of butter; add two tablespooufuls of flour, with milk enough to make thin, and stir in with the egg: add two nips of sweet milk and one teaspoonful of extract of lemon. Baked Indian Pudding?Heat four cups of milk to the boiling point, in a double boiler. Sprinkle in one cup of corn meal and cook five minutes after A *1,1 ? lAtfAl <>AAcn.\An f\i ill IS ilUUt'U. AUU U ICY CI icaoiiuuil \Ji salt and a level tablespoon of butter, one cup of molasses and one cup of cold milk. Turn into a well-buttered pudding dish and bake in a moderate oven three hours. Cooked Salad Dressing?Beat one egg in a bowl, add three tablespoons of cream, cne-half level teaspoon of salt, a saltspoon of pepper, one teaspoon of melted butter, one teaspoon of made mustard, one level teaspoon of sugar aud four tablespoons of vinegar. Beat well, then set th^ bow. in a dish of hot water and stir tlie mixture constantly until it thickens. Take the bow! from the hot water at once and cool the hofnro usinc Chicken Soup?This . makes .1 delicious Disque, when ,\ cupfu! of cold vea! or a can of chicken, chopped, is stirretl in, with :i half cupful of dry. seasoned crumbs. A liner soup can be based upon chicken broth by making eg? balls and putting I hem into the boiiing broth. Have ready a cupful of scalding iniik. stir in a tablespoonfui of butter rolled in one of .flour, cook <?n minute, and pour, a littl? at a time, upon two beaten raw eggs. Turn into the tureen and add the soup and bails, The Gorman Astronomical Society offers a prize of 1000 marks for tie most exact calculation of the next appear j ance of Haliey's comet. The paper may be written in English. and need not be presented until1 the end o* the year 1908. -- An, International Association of the Anatomists will be established at a meeting to be held at Geneva, from August 7 to 10. of the present year. The initiative has been taken by the anatomists of the Swiss universities, and has the support of the auatomica! societies of Germany, Great Britain, France, Italy and America. The library of the American Museum ! of Natural History has been given the j private scientific library of Professor I H. C\ Bumpu. the director of the museum, amounting to more than 300 volumes and- 2700 pamphlets. This collection is especially rich in works in comparative anatomy and brings to the library mauy valuable works and rare reprints not heretofore owned by the museum. . > .! "Iron in the blood" expresses, no doubt, a chemical fact, as well as a figure of speech, but probably not one in a thousand, even among chemists, ever saw ferrum sanguinis materialized to visible metal. This feat, however, has been performed by M. Barruel, head of the chemical laboratories of ~ T> lino 4v* hiC I raris. i>ir. jjuuuti, nuu >u time, practiced much phlebotomy on the human subject, has systematically extracted chemically the Cerrum from the other constituents. Wireless telegraphy is likely to be put to a new use. In England experiments are being made with wireless burglar alarms. Steel safes are equipped with transmitters. When the safe is opened the electrical waves are radiated. These waves come in contact with the usual coherer at some distant central point, ring a bell and so announce that the door has been opened. It is thought that when this system is perfected, which is .not as yet, no burglar will be able so to tamper with It as to destroy its ef> flciency. ? . jW"-*.. / . i ...... *' * i Excessive tea drinking has its evils the same as excess in any other drink Part of the physical deterioration in the lower classes of Great Britain which is causing the thoughtful people of the" nation so much concern is attributed by the medical fraternity to tile procugioua quiiuuues ?L ui? steeped tea which the poorer people driuk. In nearly every home in the meaner streets of London one may set the faithful old brown teapot standing on the hob, stewing, stewing away, and that beverage, strong and bitter with tannin, is drunk at interval? from sunrise to sundown. They say itiis as bad, too, iu Ireland and Scot - land. WASHINGTON'S PUNCTUALITY. Dinner} Ware Alvrayg on Time io Martha's Household. Washington accomplished the mosl part of his great works with apparent ease by a rigid observance of puuctual ity. It is known that whenever h? assigned to meet Congress at noon he never failed to be passing the door o 1 the hall when ihe clock struck l'J. His dining hour was 4, when he always sat down to his table (only allowing Ave minutes for the variation of timepieces* whether his guests were present or not It was frequently the cas; with members of Congress that they did not ar? rive unti} dinner was nearly half over, and he would' remark: "Gentlemen, we are punctual here; my cook mvet asks whether the company has arrived, but whether the nour has." When he visited Boston in 1781) he appointed t> o'clock in the morning a? the hour when he should set out for Salem, and while the Old South Meeting House clock was striking lie wa$ i crossing his saddle. The company of ! cavalry which volunteered to escort him. not anticipating this strict punctuality, was parading in Tremout street after his departure, and it was not uu til the I'resident had reached Charles River Bridge, where he stopped a few minutes, that the troop of horse overtook him. As he was passing the corps the*President, with perfect good na- j ture, said: "Maj&r, I thought you had | been loo long in my family not to know | when it was 8 o'clock."?Ladies" Home Journal. The Indifferent Bridegroom. The absence of nil conventionalities j and restrictions in Labrador is also very refreshing. A peripatetic minis'ter was called on at a place known as ! Spotted Islands to narry a couple "who [ were awaiting a chaqco for the cere- j mony. The bridegroom was an elderly j jman. who was a kind of a king in the j 'place. When the minister arrived at ! the island he found all the islanders j as.semuieci 111 rue nine ai:uui;ii.uuuj awaiting him. It was not til! lie actually entered the building that lie discovered the bride was the deceased wife's sister. This being a forbidden relationship, he refused t) proceed, whereupon the ir trading bridegroom j quietly remarked: "Never nind. Mister. One of these others will do." .So : turning to the exprcta it crowd, lie se- j let-ted a suitable partner, and she beins | willing, "all went as ,gaylv as a mar-| riage beli."?Dr. Greenfell. i 1 Leslie's j Monthly. About JIu-.Jitnu. Many readers have no doubt \ struggled 4over cue pronunciation or; the Japanese physical training system j "jiu-jitsu." tile correct form of which j is as if spelled "jew-jits." It was I montlis ago that it was proposed to j adopt the system at the Naval Academy. and though the proposition lingered it Wr'S bound to come, and a Japanese instructor has been secured to teach it to !he midshipmen. Anotlif? system of physical training in Japan is ken-jitsu. two-lianded sword play, j and it is probabio that this may be made a feature of the training system at the Naval Academy. Still another is known as bolori. a game in which two j fides try to drag dotva h pole iliat I ihcir oppoueuts liavo ulautod. Humor of Today The Beneficiary. When the air is gray and sappy, And the snownakes moUtfy equina. Then the only thing that's nappy la the gay pneumonia germ. , ?Wasnmglpa Star. , Remedy. "Doctor, Isn't there anything I caa do for this seasickness?" "Why, yes. Try farming."?Life Hit Kxcaae. Deserted Woman-"How could yoa * fly from me when yoa knew that I believed you were an angel?" Repentant Lover?"It was all a mistake, dear; yon see. it was the lirst time I'd ever been endowed with a pair of wings, and I didn't know just exactly how to work them."?Detroit Free Press. " i An Unsafe Procedure. | V'This." said tbe manufacturer of toys! "is".our latest novelty. Gtever, isn't itV" ' "Yes," replied tbe transient customer, "but you can't hold a caudle' to our goods." "Are you in tbe toy business?" "No. We make gunpowder."?Phila* delpbia Press. Domestic < Wife?"According to this paper, hot water will prevent wrinkles." Husband?"So? Then how do' you account fot the numerous wrinkles I have?" Wife?"How do I account for thein?m Husband?l'Yes; you keep me In hot water xj^^irly. all the time, you kndw.'* ' ?Chicago JS'ews. 'Turning Him Down. Burroughs?"Say, old man, can yon l?ud me?" Merchant?"Look bert, Burroughs, your visits always remind me of ao [averted alphabet." . Burroughs?' A what?" '* Mercnant?"An inverted aipnaDet Because U always come after a V."? Catholic Standard. A wake Krerj Night. "Mrs. Chellus looks bad, doegn'fc she?" . . . :* 4 "Yee, .-ifld no wonder. She's been 9 wake "every .night for a week past." ; "The idea!*; What was the matter?" "She discovered about a week ag? that her husband talks in nis sleeprfwdK"' of course, she had to listen."?Kansas .City Independent. i ~ '' L HopM?M. , , Jigby?''Hello, old man, I hear that ,2e\y baby up at your house " Popley?"You don't say? Great pair of luugs, eh?" . Jigby?"I say I hear that baby ot yours " js Popley?"Yes, yes, and you live twc blocks away. Wonderful,, wonderful!" ?Philadelphia Press. v Homelike. "Mamma," said the little girl wh<r was having her first experience of riding in a sleeper. "Hush, dear," whispered mam:aia? "you will waken the others.". "But, mamma, I only want to ask one question." "Well, what is it?" "Who has tlfe flat above us?"?Life. Takfhff Chance. ' jemr "?" Customer ? "You are a competent druggist, I believe." Druggist?"Yes, ma'am." v 1 Customer?"Are you registered and licensed?" Druggist?"Yes. ma'am." .. Customer ?"Give me five ccnti* arnica."?Hartford Courant. | A Dlffereaoe In falrna. 'It's strange how the strength of a 'M robust youug man varies at times." "Is it?" "Yes. There is a youhg man up our way who can sit and held a pretty young woman's palm all the evening, and yet if his mother asks him to moveher palm from the hall to the .sittingroom jhe nearly has a fit."?Cleveland Plain Dealer. 'Tis JSver Tim*. Visitor?"That young fellow se?med to me to be rather fresh for ail employe. He seemed to think he knows more about the business than you." . Merchant?"Oh, yes, he knows more . about everything than I do, but it"? quite natural." Visitor?"Indeed?" Merchant?"Yes; he's my soti."-Philadelphia Pr/'aS. MatclioM. "Ala*." murmured the young sir!. "I cannot decide whom to accept. Harold n.ts money and would be (lie safer of the two, but Reginald would look so handsome at my afternoon receptions." I'unliiut lirti* l-orc l>r>5f fri'?uil. \v!ien if ?'<?mc\s U? < olir?ice between :i safety malcli anil a p;:r!or cnatcL. chttts? r5i?.? safely every tiuie." ?Piiiii'Olyr. T'yev. AVlJ:C eio Itiil. PrwtwSlili troubled Willi rhcu- , . UMtirm?" ? "I PS. Ridvvi! -"Why don't you so <o Hint doctor '.vI:j advertises lo heal by touchV" ririH'ii?"I did." Browu?"Did ho do you nnr good?" Gre<?u?"Oh. yes; ho did uie?and h<? aid me gooJ. touched me for .mi thereby heeled iuuis:ir."?Chicago Co ?V?