Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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r W WHAT CAN YOU DO? That's what the world is asking you. I Not who you are. Xot what you are; But this one thing the world demands: ( What can you do with braiu or hands? L .1.19 TI.^j n.? fTvuai can ?uu u?.?. i mu v?iv. i The world requires; as for Ihe res* " i It matters not, ' Or who or what You may have been, or high or low, ^'The world cares no: odo whit to know What can you do? What can you do? That's what the world keep* asking you With trumnet tone. And that alone! 'Ah, ?oui. it you would win. then you Must show the world what you can do! ** J ?Our Young Folks. fjUSTBYCM t:S FY E. A FOOTE ? 5 v 1???"?"?1 5 'QxiTJxnjTjTJTJTJXjnLnjriJTJijrLrLro T was early May and to j| Tlioodore Scott, leaning: ? I O against the piazza rail, it J ^ J? was ideal. 1 VOW He had been ordered south with his company and they were drilling in the low Virginian plains. Not that, there was any war. Oh. dear, no! But Uncle Saui thinks best to keep his sons in training. Every instant Ted could spare from his official duty was spent a-t The Elms, his uncle's place. His cousins, Nell and Bob. were in the swim of ^Virginia society, and Ted found it irery hard sometimes to leave his personal pleasures for his only too clear g -duty. And so on this day. wiien ne j had had a moment to spare. h? stood L on The Elms' veranda waiting for his ^ cousin Nell to come down. He had de-cided to surprise her that day, and so \ had kept silent when he heard his jiame called twice from the stairs. TFhen he heard footsteps, girl's footsteps, in the hall, and he stepped back Idto the shadow of the door, aud just as she crossed the threshold sprang forward and caught her in his arms. L "Admit I surprised you. Nell," he Cried, as be kissed her lightly. "Yes," the girl admitted, quietly, "you did surprise me, only, you see, I am not Ne''." I "Not Nell?" he echoed. ' Then he stepped back. Before him i iwas a young girl with rumpled brown I |jair and laughing black eyes. She I I as dressed in .Nelis riding nauir, out |e was a girl Tod bad never seen. KHj. I beg pardon," be began, but interrupted him. Bh, I know what you're going to |5! You're awfully sorry, and it'll K* happen again. It was an awful iBer?rather mistake and?don't ^Khink yott'd better tell me your HA' she added somewhat lamely, ji^fciioment Ted was himself again. ^Krl's speech bad given him time J^ain bis thoughts. EBwa^^^'Hastings." she prompted. ' "Thanks, Miss Hastings. I can nevei SI tell you how sorry I am for this. It I iwas an awfully awkward blunder, g and I hope you will excuse me. but I really," be added honestly. "I didn't know whom I was kissing or I might HA have been temptec". to do it any way. But any way. I hope, as I said beH fore, that you will excuse your humble Eg servant. Ted Scott. Reference?well. H I'm second lieutenant in the United States Army." "Delighted to meet you. I'm sure. Mr. Scott. But don't let us be at all foolish about it. and please don't tell IgH any on%." ' "Of course it shall be just as you say." was all Ted had time to say. 0H. for just then Nell came down, and SB seeing them standing there, said quil'Kiy ? Wg "Ob, I'm so clad you weren't so foolish as to have to be introduced before you spoke. I forgot to tell wH you. Ted. tbat Mildred \yas coming." "Thanks. little cousin, but you see. n|S I found out to my great joy." said Ted. m5|H "and I think we've been pretty well mmH introduced"?at which Mildred HastffiSK ings blushed so red that Nell instantHjiH ly changed the subject. To Ted's great delight, after his Company had been dispersed. his unHraHcle had invited him to remain at The HBK|^BElms to Nell's house party. SgS^B Strange to say. Mildred Hastings mSHtwas invited to stay also. Stranger still was the fact that they were both accepted. &9bH It was the day that the guests were KERXn to arrive, and Ted. as a member of HH the family, and Mildred, as an old friend, were doing their best to help -thincs nlnnrr Ted iroinir to the barn I to order the carriage for Bob and Nell to go to the station to meet their friends ran, just at the front door, Straight into Mildred's arms. "Ob. Mr. Scott," she exclaimed. **this door " ' "See here." he interrupted, "if you tall me Mr. Scott aeain I'll ro and shoot myself or pass away from shock. Anyhow, you'll never see me again.. Really and truly. Miss Hastings." Such gay time* as that party had. Riding, skating and sleighing. Such jolly evenings, as they sat gathered around an open fire. i It was not until the Inst week of their stay that Ted got Milly away from the rest of the party. He had asked her to walk with him. and she Ijiau wuiingiy accfpn-u. I For some time they walked along in Silence, when Ted remarked: ; "A penny for your thughts." "They're worth more thuu that." she replied carelessly. j "Will you give me a guess?" ' "Give you three, you'd never find but." '^*ou were thinking of the?the time [we first met." He spoke as if positive. She colored nnd glanced at him quickly. : "How do you know?" "Because I was thinking a':out it myself." , She laughed. r "You certainly were foolish and impudent that day, weren't you, now?" "No," he replied, quietly. "Impudent, perhaps, but not foolish. You ,were beautiful and are?every one says so, and?I guess you're more beautiful to me than to any one else," he added, tinnpstlv. II "Foolish boy." she said softly. "Yes." he agreed, "very, very foolish. Mildred. I once had a dream. Mw I tell it to you?" *TVby, yes," sbe said, evidently glad to change the subject "Yes, indeed." I "I dreamed that I met a girl, a bean tiful girl, and to tell the truth. I fei in love with her. Love at first sight they call it. Foolish, wasn't I? Thi only trouble was that she didn't k>v< me. and just as this conclusion wa: thrust upon me, just as I was realizing it must strongly, I woke up and real ized what bliss I had been in. Say Mill, do dreams always go by contra ries?" "Ted,"' said the girl, quietly, 41 know what you're goinfi to say. Yoi wish this one would. Teddy, take m; advice. If you love a girl, tell her so.' | For a moment the young man wa I baffled. "Do you care?" he cried. "Have been meeting you every day. break fasting, lunching and dining with you and you have not known that I love< you. Why need I hold off longer? love you, love you. love you. and hav loved you ever since that day when kissed you by mistake. I say, Mil tired, will you promise to?to let mi do it again?" Ana jMiidreu, unresisting, pruuixscu In the fall of thp next year Te( Scott and Mildred Hastings wen united in the little church by the riv er. and a happy couple they were When the minister's voice ceased, au< ! Theodore put back Mildred's veil an< kissed his wife, both thought of th time they first met. Then the musi broke out from the little old organ am the young lieutenant led his younj bride down the aisle out into the nar row path of life.?Boston Home Jour nal. [Painting; Animals' Eye*. One of the most difficult things whicl the artists and taxidermists of the government studio have to do is the paint ing and preparation of glass eyes fo: the animals, birds and reptiles mount ed at that institution for exhibition ii the National museum or at the St Louis exposition. These "eyes" are made of glass, hoi low within and from the rear, so tha the inuer surface may lie painted an] color desired. As no two animals' eye; are alike, and as the colors are oftei complicated aud unusual, it requires ; great deal of skill, study and practice before one is competent to uudertaki the work. Mr. Turner, the mammal taxidermis of the Smithsonian, has just tinishec the work of painting a pair of eyes foi a large lion, which ho has mountei for exhibit at the St. Louis exposition The lion has a peculiar eye. The pupi is large and brownish-black, while th< iris is chrome yellow, but clouded, mot tied, vermiculated and streaked in sucl peculiar fashion that one must make : long study of the eye of the animal be fore it is possible to imitate the colo: and markings of the organ to perfection. Soon Mr. Turner will prepan two eyes for the big giraffe he is nov mounting, and which will be a stil more difficult operation, as that anima has a brownish-black eye with a pecu liar purplish sheen, exceedingly diffi cult to imitate.?Washington Post. Squallop'a Lcgarj It had always been young Squal lop's understanding that ho would In liorit ''something handsome" when his uncle, a studious and somewhat schol arly man, passed off the stage of ac tion. The uncle died and the will was opened. Young Squallop was indeed remera bered. The bulk of his relative's means was found to have been sunk in annuities, but the size of the pack age bequeathed to the young man sur prised him. lie opened it. examjned the contents, then locked it away froir prying eyes. "I hear your uncle left you some thing," said an acquaintance a weelf or two afterward, meeting him on the street. "Yes." he replied. "My uncle lefl wr* t-hmicin/1 ,f "I congratulate you! With flO.OOC a young man maj be considered tc have at least a fair start in life." "I didn't say pounds. He left m( 10.000 chess problems." It was even so. For many years th< old gentleman had been making a col leelion of such problems, clipping then: from the chess columns of various weekly papers, and as his most cher ished possession he left it entire to his favorite nephew, a youth who did noi know a pawn from a bishop.?Tit-Bits Identification Cards. Mrs. Kate Cassidy has set a gooc example to the mothers of New York The very first thing she taught hei baby daughter was her own name anc the name of the street she lived in The result was that when the child who is only two and a half years old crot lost she was able to tell the peopk who found her that she was "Gertrud* Anastasia Cassidy. of East Eiprhtietl street." Thus she was promptly re stored to her mother. Not only is it important in this bij city for children to be able to identifj themselves, but every one should earrj some sort of identification card. Mosi tailors have a habit of sewinjr the cus tomer's name and address in the insid< pocket of his coat. Women, however seldom carry anything to identifj them. Whenever a woman is knockec senseless in a street accident?anc hardly a week passes without some such occurrence?there invariable ic in iilontifvinsr tho victim Frequently errors in addresses brinj needless shocks to the wrong families A good rule for every city dweller i: to carry a card or "tab" giving namt and address.?New York World. Bn9il Meat For MoaiiRltoen. Another hope has been destroyed. A few weeks ago Captain Larryniore. ol the Bri'.ish army, residing in northerr Nigeria, described how the plain known as the "holy basil" was deatl to mosquitoes and how the presenc* of one of these plants in a room woult keep the obnoxious insects out. Thei Sir George Birdwood described how when constructing the Victoria Gar dens and Albert Museum in Bombay malaria and mosquitoes were banishet li* r*ln n+ln*r hoall ornilnil tl>0 wnrl'9 *"'?* v-x* .. The matter waa referred to Dr. Prout principal raedieal officer of Siern I Leone. Dr. Prout has reported tha mosquitoes thrive on basil; at leas they thrive in its immediate vicinity and that it has no deleterious effect! whatever on their welfare. Somethinj else must have kept the mosquitoei away ia the cases quoted.?New Yorl Commercial Advertiser. * I pishing for Pearls ? * "'t is a pisturesque [nit AVC! tliA tinnan \fisoisainn I g/fl W -Ff" ^ and some of its tributarie J\ the pearl fisher is agal -Ti. seeking his fortune. 1 ^ tffc In the winter time th ^ ffr pearl fis-her may be farmer, who sticks to his "section" a s long as the rivers are frozen over, bu who cannot escape the get-rich-qui<*i contagion which comes with sprin skies and the return of the pearl-fist ' ing season. Occasionally a tale reache * his ears of how some fellow countrj 1 man has attained sudden wealth b p discovering a "strawberry" pearl, an * the mere routine of farm life become all at once a slavish drudgery. A da; e later the farmer is off for the clar beds. ' Hundreds of pearl fishers also com from river towns, where they hav p lived a precarious life through the wiu ter, and having spent what little the, ' earned the foregoing year are eage to get back to the clam beds at th * earliest sign of a thaw. Men win 5 have families, as a general thing, tak n their wives and children with them ^ | When the season, therefore, has full; T i mnniT r\f tlioea pnmmmiitto =? j U^lTUCUi Ulliuj vt wnw '* | along the rivers of Wisconsin an< ' j Iowa are practically deserted. Ther is fortune lurking in the turbid waters and the crowd which rushes thitlie i has much of the nervous anxiety o | adventurers which flock to u newl; 1 discovered gold field. j The pearl fisher with a family sooi ' finds a home near the clam beds. H ; either pitches a tent on the river's edg or rigs up a houseboat. In any case i It is a miserable habitation, visited a I all hours of the day and night b; mosquitoes which would drive even j 1? v.. '? ? '' > / . * 'iK-vcy? a ..;-v ; ' r ? STEAM 12 i : | Jerseyman frantic, and filled frequent 5 ly with the miasma which breedi ' malaria. Having thus enrod for the domestii or social side of life, the pearl fishe: ' j equips himself for business. If he ha: 1 fished for pearls before he knows tha he cannot depend alone on these found ' lings of fortune for a livelihood. Thi : , nnlr nrnntirwl wnr for Mm is to dil ( ?J .. ? !, up clams and sell their shells, and a: i lie sorts over the bivalves he can keci [ his eye out for an elusive pearl. Hi ! may go through a whole season am 1 only discover a few "dead ones." whicl 1 j are practically worthless, or of a sud ; den lie may stare at a brilliant "turtli ! , back" as large as a marble and wort! $10,000. The work is done from a scow i shaped boat which drifts with tin i current, dragging over the bottom 5 ( large.number of hooks, on which tin j clauis "bite." The hooks are on shor 51 strings, or chains, and are attachet t j side by side on n long bar or gas pipe . _ There arc two of these bars, which ar< j kept on stanchions on either side o I the boat. By means of a "mule,' I which consists of a frame coverei .! with canvas, placed vertically into th< : i water, and which acts as an unde; I , water sail, the clammer obtains enougl . ! motive power to propel hLs boat an< , j drag the hooks over the bottom. Tin , J clams lie with their mouths toward tin ; | current, so that they may catch foot ?, particles that come floating to wart i thein. When the hooks enter theii 1 mouths thp clams immediately shu | down on them and hang on like s( 5! : 1 ????? r I ^ 15 O A T il O U JO A. > i L f j mauy steel traps. On. days when the j water is muuay airer :i unru mm im , Claras are feeding aud they "bite* , freely. j The "clanimer" starts out in the j morning aud rows up to the bed thai he desires to work, keeping close to th< ' shore and out of the current as raucl as possible. When lie arrives at a de j sirable spot he rows out into the raid die of the stream aud drops one of t.h< "drags" to which the hooks are at J tached, and makes it fast to the boa' j by means of a long Strong rope. H< j then places the "mule" in the watei in such a position that it will catcl j the force of the current and pull th< j boat down the river. The clammei ; waits until he thinks he has enougl i clams on his hooks, and then, takinj the "mule" from the water, he lift! 11 - ^ I ? vn fT 1 nm C ffcl 1 I* _ cuickcu ii( ^laiH |givciii> istrg on tfo Mississippi. j|Fr"k i the bar from the bottom into the boat. s suspends It on the stanchions and u. places the other "drug" in the stream, lie drops the "mule" into the water. e a . fmf.m ?! I. , . r'V '.?r3 * . v * it , ' ..' ' I CATCHING THE (OCCASION; e again, and whi.e he is taking the clams i. from the first "drag" the second is y filling up. In this way he goes as far 3 down the stream as he desires, provid1 ed he does not catch a snag. e The pearl seekej usually works on i. the river in the morning and spends r the afternoon in camp '"boiling out." f This is the process by which the pearls y are found, the shells cleaned and made ready for market. A tank constructed a of planks with a metal bottom is used e for this purpose, and the clams are e placed in it with about enough water (. to cover the bottom. Then the whole t is covered with boards or a blanket. v A fire is built underneath the tank, and i the claws steamed or boiled until they I sG THE CLAM TILL HE OrENS HIS _ - are so thoroughly cooked that the meat 3 will drop out of the shell. Contrary to the general belief, this does not iuc jure the pearl, for the reason that it r is protected by the shell of the clam ? and is not exposed to the direct heat, t The cooking requires au hour or two. - and when it is finished the clams are 2 shoveled on to a sorting table, where ; the search for pearls is made, and the 5 shells graded and placed in bins. This work is extremely disagreeable, and if It were not for the fact that there is a 1 possibility of finding something valu? able it would be a great drudgery. There are some fifty varieties of s shells, most of which are valuable. 1 The largest shells, or "washboards," are too brittle to be worth anything - for commercial purposes. The smaller 2 shells are all good for pearl buttons 1 and bring the clammer $13 to $20 a 2 ton. The shell buyers come with t barges and take the shells at the 1 camps. Very often a steamboat is sail. Ing down the river, pushing several ? barges, each of which contains in the f neighborhood of five hundred tons of ' claui shells. These shells are made 1 into pearl buttons at factories at vari? ous river towns. The buttons are r sawed out of the shell, and in this i rough form are sent East to be fin1 islied. There are some fifty factories ? oil the Mississippi, each employing ; from ten to sixty hands the year round. 1 The clammer's life is not one of 1 pleasure. Ite must rise with the sun. r be as busy as a beaver all day, in all t kinds of weather, doing dirty, wet and > hard work. His hands are continually -1 f -v i 1 ' CLAMMING OUTFIT. ! sore and chaprml from the dirty wa1 ter, and his back acquires a crook that ' it takes months to get rid of. His food is cooked over an open fire, ;rnd > often, when it rains, is not cooked at t all. lie is forced to bathe in the muddy ? river water, and sometimes must even i drink it. Rowing a heavy boat against a current of four miles an hour taxes the endurance of the best; lifting out i a heavy drag loaded with clam shells ?W1 UUJl IS UUI c?o,y , iiuinufi, oncauuij t and tryi"S to pull tlie ding off from a i snag is not conducive of good morals, r The hardships are real aud the returns i uncertain, and every one who tries it J for a season is apt to wonder "if the f game Is worth the candle." i In the early days of clam Ashing the I perfect pearl was the only one marketi able, while now all sir.cs aud shapes * : ' * i ' are made tree of. Wfcec the formation is round, or partly round, it goes by the name of pearl. One which is per- j feet on one side, the other being flat, is termed a button pearl. Buttons arc I divided into "naystacKs ana " lurciv backs." according to the height of th? ^ projection above the flat surface. By 1 far the greater number of pearls are of t this variety. There are also numerous f Imperfections that are distinguished ' by various names, as "birdseyes," re ? " ' a V L L Y) PEA U ferring to a little projection on the best surface of the pearl that seems to be the finishing off place that the clam has left unsmoothed. "Ring arounds" are those with a dark or discolored ring appearing on the surface. "Strawberries'* are pearls that have a large number of minute projections on the ? n.if* ojhan r?f lilch InstTo ATP exceedingly pretty. These names are | supplemented by a great number of others that vary in the different localities. I A perfect pearl is, of course, round, but even then it must be of fair size _ and good color to he of any value. ^ One the size of an ordinary pea Is j( worth nearly, if not quite, $200. The t D 8 ? SHELL. ' ^ : st color that is most sought after and if 1 the most valuable is the pure white ot 1 the dewdrop transparency. J A pearl is built In layers the same as the shell. It is this fact which ( gives rise to the popular idea that its formation is caused by some foreign substance getting Into the clam and thereby causing it to coat the offensive particle with mother of pearl. These coatings may be peeled off, and very often a dead surface conceals a splendid surface underneath. Several men in tue river towns maive a Dusiness or "peeling pearls," and do a thriving business at it, as nearly every one who finds a pearl believes or hopes that the poor part is all on the surface. Very often the question is asked: "How much is the largest fresh water pearl worth, and what is its size?" The largest one ever found was about three-quarters of an inch in diameter, and perfectly round and weighed 126 graius. A spot on one side was its only imperfection. It was found by a man named Ferguson and sold by him the same day for $1730. Later it was sold by the buyer for $10,000. The finest pearl,ever found was one of seventy grains and brought the finder ?|J00. It is' now held by a jewelry firm for $20,000. Finds of this character are rare, however, and men have fished e for years and never found a really fine ' pearl. Others that have worked in the q same manner and the same place have met with astounding success. A cer- 0 tain Charles Reed, of Prairie du Chien, hns clammed for several years. He never found anything that brought him ^ more than $400, yet, Instead of being r( the poor man of a few years ago, he id ^ uow Independently rich. ^ A great deal depends on the shrewd- a| ness of the finder in getting what .'lis y pearl Is worth. All finds are usually disjwsed of ou the spot within a few hours from the time that they are a| taken from the river. Tearl buyers t() are constantly plying the river in their launches, and the minute that a pearl is round a Diiyor is on uauu. iuh-h, wirli fi little judicious lying, they are able to get fine pearls for a fraction of thoir value. On?? case is recorded where one of these Shylocks bought a pearl for having convinced the claminer that it was o? no value. In a few days the buyer had disposed cf the same pearl for $1200.?New York Tribune. A ltoyal Gift to Ireland. King Edward has expressed the wish I that the Celtic gold ornaments declared f by the judgment of the Court of Chan- I eery to be treasure trove, and therefore the property of the Crown, should \ be presented as a free gift to the treas urer or tne irisn Acauemy. rue orniiments will therefore be talceu from the British Museum aucl sent to Ireland. Salary of President of France. The French President receives $120,- le 0(H) a yoar, and gets iu addition fruit, th vegetables, game, fuel, oil, gas, electric m light and washing free. nc a In the Untied States nearly thirteen Is of every 10,000 inhabitants are study-, ing at colleges of university status. The number in Great Britain is less m than Ave. t? " ' ' P ~.V I . V** T \ TWO-LEGGED HORSE. Animal Which Promises to Cet Along Without* Hs Forelegs. La Nature, an exceedingly trustworthy French publication, baa the fol owing m a recent issue: L,asc monxu here was born at Havre a horse which >resents the singular condition of beng deprived of its fore legs. The boulders are clearly apparent under he skin, but the remainder of the lega .re wanting. This foal wa3 born with he physical characteristics of a kanraroo, but with less to console it, since he latter has legs in front, which, vhile small and short, are better than tone at all, which represents the conlitiou ol the foal. The foal is very healthy and obtains ta food from a goat, there apparently eing no reason to believe that it shall lot live and learn to do entirely with>ut the members of which it is lacking. iVe once saw a small dog, whose hind egs were missing, but this did not pre* r~ ~ , . t trm TWO-IiKQOBp HOBSB. ent it from walking and running on ts front legs, eley^ing the rear porion of the body in the air. This ani oal ran easily and lightly, even decending and ascending flights of stairs without difficulty. We may thus beieve that the Havre foal will adapt tself to Its situation and that it will [uicb'.y learn to be a biped. Recently he Jardin des Plaates contained a rat which possessed no front llmb?, iut it succeeded in accommodating Itr elf to its defects. Metal Tien Removed. Metal cross-ties on bridges on the ine of railway from Ismid to Angora, a Asia Minor, are now being replaced iy oak ties, says Engineering News, 'he all-metal construction proved so igid that the pounding of the traffic ffeeted t'ae connections of the bridge aembers. The metal ties, of an inerted V-shape, were riveted directly o short bearing plates, which in turn vere riveted to the tops of the stringrs; on curves the bearing plate under he outer end of the tie wag heightened o form a rived chair giving the propei imount of superelevation. After some en years of service many of the ties lave partially failed where the rail ests upon them. The substitution ol vooden ties gives an eapy riding track ind is expected to greatly reduce the muual repair cost. It may be noted ha.t the natives in that region have gradually learned to respect the rall> vay so that stealing of the wooden ios (wood is very scarce la that region) s a much smaller source of loss than t would have been during the first 'ears of the railway. 2ut, From One Piece of Wood. iffim Here are two varieties of chains, ach of which is cut out of one piece f wood. They were made by B. F. Hay, of Fernwood, Pa., who is sevnty-five years old. New Source of Rubber supply. A Liverpool firm, which does a large ade with West and Southwest Africa, ?cently received a species of plant itherto unknown, that produces ruber. The plant grows under ground, tid will probably be found in English r'est Africa. The rubber is directly ?neath the bark and of unsurpassed tiality. Ordinarily th<* roots, when mnnUi pnnhlin from six i six and one-half per cent., of rubber. ' the bark is removed the percentage higher. An Anti-TIpping League. jS) Chicago has started an anti-tipping ague, which to a certain extent ia i? result of the waiters' strike. The otJ-o nf tlio Association ia- "I will >t tip," and the sign of membership, button with the letters "A. T. L.," pictured above. Occasionally you find a man so gooditured that it's easier to pick a lock ian to pick a quarrel with him. AT PUSK., 'jjr fa I follow, through thfc garden dim, The tvindine way that Lydia passed. I follow, led oy trusty guides, Confident of success at last? ; ' o be rewarded for my quest When Lydia's lips to mine are pressed! ^ The blades of grass they hel]D my searchj ?\ icai uj/wu biic i^aiucu rv<un, The imprint of a little heel, Are all endowed with power to talk. They tell me, soft, a secret sweet: "This way?and this?went Lydia'e feet!'* The stars leaned -down to watch her pass. The boughs they kissed her as she went, (They caught thefr white bloom from heF gown), ; And all these messengers are lent To guide my heart, by whispering low, ' "This way?and this?did Lydia go!" ?Harper's Bazar. . " "Was she happily married?" "Very! Why, her tronsseau alone cost over six thousand dollars."?Judge; "I dislike that Miss Jones. She seems double-faced." "Impossible, or she'd be wearing the other one."? Chaparral. Stella?"Did he get down on his m knees when he proposed?" Bella? "Yes: but papa won't set him on his feet."?Puck. Mrs. Sharp?"What is a great, stout, healthy man like you begging for?" Bulky Butters?"Only two cents,mum."?Chicago News. "I?fell?into?the?swimming?hole," The mother 'gan to scoff, "How did you keep your clothes so dry?"* "Why, ma, I toolc them off." ?Chicago Record-Herald. Edith?"I dreamed last night that I ' was going to be married." Kitty? "Funny, what absurd things come to us in dreams, isii't it, dear?"?BostonTranscript. She?"There goes General Chutney TTT If h Kio /In Al? " TJ Q "Qa T flA/v VT11U UIO UU UgUlCl 1.1V kA/ JL. OV?V. .J and they say that the daughter has \j|? been through more engagements than her father."?Tit-Bits. Wife (in her latest dress from Paris) ?"Harry, what's the difference between a 'gown' and a 'creation'?'* Harry?"I can't give the exact figures, but it's a small fortune."?Punch. She wears the smile that won't come off. All, me, it is perfection. I only wish that I could say As much for her complexion. ?Philadelphia Record. Mrs. Newrocks?"Yes, Tessie, your uncle made his money before you were born." Her Niece?"Did he? Well, ifs a good things to have somebody In the Jjjj family who was born rich, isn't it; auntie?"?Puck. / ....... Kutten?"You'll excuse me, old chap, for not introducing my wife. The fact ? & is, you know, she's?she's so infernally particular." Dryde?"In everything but her choice of a husband, perhaps, I see."?Chicago Tribune. Daughter (pleadingly)?"I am sure you wlil* like George. He is the most conscientious young man I ever knew." Father (a business man)?"Then don't you dare to marry him! You'll starve to death!"?New York Weekly. Towne?"He seems to think he's quite r*i orator." Browne?"Huh! Why, whenever he attempts to make a speech he really makes a moukejf of himself." Towne^-"Sort of harangue* . V:| outang, eh."?Philadelphia Press. T-t 1 ~ 4-V>af ia All jouuuie? luuiuei, ouj, mu 10 on nonsense with the life insurance, isn't it?" Mother?"My, what an idea, Johnnie. What makes you think so?" . | Johnnie?"Well, didn't Mr. Brown tell you the other day that he had his life insured, and now he is dead all the same.?Brooklyn Life. The Prison Ifewapaper. y]?v Thorc are over 70,000,000 persons in the United States?mostly writers. Even Sing Sing Prison, saya Everybody's Magazine, issues a bi-weekly magazine, the Star of Hope, a wellI printed, luxurious folio, brimming with human interest. Roland B. Molineur, "who spent his days in the death-house, transcribing what he saw and felt in his grewsome quarters, was not the o/ily scribbler within the prison walls. There are potential journalists in Sing Sing. No. 1500 is editor-in-chief, and prisoners write, make up and print the whole publication, which bai a ..J circulation inside and outside the prison of more than 5000. Women, too, are contributors. No. 196, Auburn, is local editor. The periodical is a serious attempt at a prison organ, and in this. guise is naturally welcome to what a Star of Hope note would probably call "the residents of our community." Outsiders And in its humor its recommendation to a moment's study. Recently, for example, it contained this paragraph: "The former gentleman who walked or ran out into the free world some weeks ago without the proper permission is again our ' guest." Its verse also Is far from the mere doggerel one might expect. Not long ago it published the follow- ' I Ing: J But where the Hudson with majestic sweep Rolls on its course to mingle with the deep. There stands a frowning pile of brick and stone, Whose massive walls were built for strength alone Whose grim watch towers and portals strongly barred Make freedom's way to many long and hard! let in that tomb of buried hones forlorn Three blessed years ago our Star of Hope was born. No Statues For Scorchcrs. We are being treated to a good deal of rubbish about the valuable service to society which these raciug, desrtlia nd-destr uction-dealing automobiles are rendering by "improving the breed" -" ?-4.-rri?/\ nf {a f-hof fhov ' OI aillUUlUUllCO, J.11C AC4V.W v..v/( are indulging in a foolhardy amusement?reckless nud impudent disregard of the rights of others. We do need a cheap, safe, workable^ smell-less automobile?the city man needs it and so does the country man? And we are going to get it but not because a few lunatics want to race at the rate of fifty or sixty miles an hour on the public highways. There is a' universal demand, and a hundred industrious inventors aie toiling to supply it. The auto-racer deserves not a statue, but a statute.?Philadelphia Saturday Evening Post. A Guillotine For Fowls. A guillotine for the painless decapitation of fowls purchased by the public has been installed in the market of Gothenburg by the Society for tier Prevention of Crusltv to Animals.