The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, January 15, 1902, Image 7
the debts that stand.
?ften I think that the world is cold
^And^hat men are unkind, unfair; *
viten a mourn ana iret ana scoiu
And coddle my own despair,
'And often I think mankind must be
In league foj the shame of defeating me.
lYet, railing at men, I ought to know
That I sm when my plaints are made,
For there's many, oh, many, a debt I owe
That never can be repaid.
iWhat if deep in my heart they could
sometimes see?
The kind ones who have befriended me?
?S. E. Kiser.
TltaWBro
TT ~y ANS MEULLER used to toot
1^4 a trumpet* in the Third Cav]
J airy. Hans was more or less
a butt for the jokes of the
men of his troop. He took all kinds of
jibes with a good nature that was as
perfcct as it was stolid. The trumpeter
knew more about music than he
Jdld muskets. When for a while he
1 tried what the other men called
Btraight soldiering, he was continually
t getting tangled up with his equipments,
and on several occasions at skirmish
drill he came within an ace of
shooting himself. His comrades told
Hans that as long as he confined his
efforts to killing himself they would
offer no strenuous objection, but that
If he got careless and shot the head
Off of some one else he must look out
frAiiMa A c? o nf fo ho H ir?
JLU1 U VU UtCi AAO i* UAUViV! va. *mv? mv ?.u
one day come pretty close to putting
a. bullet through the heart of Sergeant
Peter Nelson, who forthwith thrashed
Hans in an approved style. Captain
"I'M GOING AFTER D0DD3."
[Roberts called Hans "gross,", and said
that he must stick to his trumpet .
The ?dlct of his chief made Hansi
1 Ifefel badly. He blew the whole scale,
, of calls, from reveille through fatigue,
recall and drill to taps, but his soul
^Wasn't in his music. Down deep In
Hans' soul there came the thought that
somehow he was not like other men.
The smartness of appearance which
characterized Sergeant Nelson, Corporal
1 Brady and a score of privates he knew
<could never be his. There was lacking
In bis makeup that something which
gives dash to a soldier. Hans used to
fall over his feet in' a most unmilitary
.way, and his hands were never in the
proper places. There was one thing,
however, that could be said of him.
ho oItttqto trio/1 tn nhov nrrlpra iinr?lif
ltly. He generally blundered a number
of times while making the attempt,
but the Intent was right, and that covers
a multitude of sins much more
serious in nature than mere blunders.
The Third Cavalry was in the Wyoming
country in the Elkliorn Creefc region.
There had been a good deal of
trouble with the N^z Perces and L
(Troop had been kept on the jump most
of the time for a month. L Troop was
Hans' outfit. There had been one constant
succession of scoutings. It had
been necessary to send small squads
In half a dozen different directions at
one ana tne^ same nme. xne trumpeter
had been forced to stay with the
main body, which was not a very big
body at that, at all times. He had
been in everything in which the whole
troop was engaged, but the idea of
sending Hans out on a reconnoisance
.where coolness and the subtlety of the
devil were necessary for safety, was
the last thing that had entered the
head of the commander.
One day, however, one of the coldest
days of the second winter month, it became
necessary to send a scouting
party to investigate the rumor of the
approach of a band of savages. Now
it happened that the whole command
was fagged out. and this in a nutshell
is the reason why Hans Meuller found
Himself for the first time in bis life
( in a position of acute responsibility.
i He was ordered by Captain Roberts
^ to proceed with Sergeant Nelson and
two privates northwest until something
,was "felt," or until the Sergeant was
satisfied that a wrong report had been
turned into the camp.
When the little bcdy set out the fatigue
of the individual members of
the troop showed that it was not, so
to speak, strong enough to keep these
same individuals from giving Hans a
send-off. Hans had a carbine and a
revolver. His trumpet was hanging
up on a peg. One of the bystanders
said to the Sergeant in command,
'Look out for Hans if you happen to
get into a scrimmage. The first thing
you know he'll forget himself and he'll
try to blow 'retreat* on his carbine.
^ ? 1 - .V... n :r Un?r.
JLUU 111IIy lU5t U11C iiiuii ji iiaud jjuio
his mouth to the "wrong end of the
barrel."
Then they said a few* other things
to Hans. He was told to he sure not
to get his canteen mixed up with his
cartridge belt, and to make sure iliat
he took note of the landmarks on the
,way out, so lie could get back to camp
in a hurry if he happened to hear an
Indian shoot off a gun. Hans took all
this well enough, because the thought
of actually going out on a scout was
sufficient to knock all other things
out of his head, resentment along with
them. They had left the camp far
behind them. Sergeant Nelson, who
.was an old and tried campaigner,
turned to his men and said: "We are
getting near the place where we may
expect to see something." Then he
spoke seriously to Hans: "Meuller,"
too said, "vou're not half as bad, per
haps, as the troop makes out, but I
tell you honestly that I'm kind of
lafraid of you when it comes to a pinch.
Do the best you can and don't run.
'As a matter of fact, I think Jim Cros
by was pipe-dreaming when he brought
the rumor of reds in this vicinity into
camp, but you may have a chance to
see trouble, and if you do, please
stick."
? ? +??<-?! * 1 ?-r tn
J.uai was a. preuy iuu^u >v
have to say to a soldier with Uncle
Sam's unitorm on his back. Stick!
Meuller's face went almost white under
realization that the true significance
of that admonition was that the
Sergeant had a pretty strong fear in
his heart that his trumpet tooter was
a coward. Stick! He would show
them if he was only given a chance.
Sergeant Peter Nelson was an old
and tried campaigner, indeed, but that
day he made a mistake. He led his
three men straight into an ambush.
There was a score of painted Nez
Percea straight across their track. The
Indians had very little cover, but they
used It so artfully that the old soldier
Sergeant had actually thought that the
bit of embankment and the few scattered
bowlders did not offer cover
enough to conceal a jack rabbit.
The first intimation of the Indians'
presence was a volley. Sergeant Nel
* Tptt-h n wound
sou wem iu uic giuuuu
in his side. One of the privates, shot
through the shoulder and leg, fell with
him. The two men crawled behind a
couple of rocks and secured temporary
shelter. At the savage volley Hans
Meuller's heart went to his throat.
With the other private, who, like Hang,
was unhlt, he fell back about forty
yards and behind an adequate cover.
There for five minutes they exchanged
shots with the reds, who, in accordance
with Indian custom, would not
charge across the open, but depended
rather upon being able to pick off the
soldiers and then go forward without
danger and take the scalps. Hans
Meuller found that he could use his
carbine. His heart went down out of
his throat. He looked around him and
saw that there was some chance of
holding the savages off for hours. Out
beyond he saw his two stricken comrades.
They were not dead. 'He knew
J that because he saw them move and
occasionally weakly raise themselves
and send a shot In the direction of the
red foes. Hans said to himself: "Those
mnot ho hrnnprht back here." Then
UiCU UMWV VV ?- . ?
he handed his carbine to his comrade
and with it his belt and ammunition.
"You may need these." he said, "If
those fellows hit me." Then he jumped
over the rock in front of him, and
with his long, shambling, ungainly
stride he made for the side of Sergeant
Nelson. The Indians pumped at him.
The balls whizzed by his head, cut
his clothes in three places and spat
spitefully into the dust at his feet
Telling Nelson to grab his carbine,
Meuller raised the Sergeant in his arms
and made back for cover, his track
all the way marked out for him by
the shots of the savages. He dropped
the Sergeant under the shadow of the
rock and then stood on his feet.
"Where are you going, Meuller?" said
Nelson, feebly.
"I'm going after Dodds," said Meuller,
and he cleared the little rock to
the front once more.
I "God bless you, Meuller," was what
he heard above the cracking of the
' rifles to his front. He reached the side
of the wounded Doods, raised him and
started back with him across the strip
J of hell. Twice he staggered, as volleys
rang out, but he reached the sides of
his comrades, and placed Dodds between
Nelson and the unwounded trapper.
Then Hans Meuller fell dead.
Relief came to the three surviving
cavalrymen. The two wounded lived.
In the little cemetery at a post in the
far Northwest there is a headstone
which is inscribed thus:
: HANS MEULLER, :
[ : TRUMPETER AND SOLDIER.
[ : HIS COURAGE WAS BULLET :
: PROOF. :
?Edward B. Clark, in the Chicago
[ Kecora-JtieraiQ.
The Red Rantlnc Coat.
[ The origin of the red coat is a mystery.
There is a story told "that one
J of the early Henrys was so enamored
| with the sport of fox hunting as to ordain
it to be a royal sport, and the x*ed
coat was worn in consequence." This,
however, has been pointed at as absurd,
as in those days scarlet was not
a royal livery at all. One thing there
can be no doubt about, and that is that
the scarlet coat is very popular for
those who hunt regularly. And it
must be confessed that it adds picturesqueness
to the scene. The question
of color seems to be very much a matter
of taste; it Is looked upon as an indication
of social position. In the abatpn^t
nnv one can don the pink, if so
desired, but it is considered out of
taste for any one to adopt that color
if he does not liberally subscribe to
the huut fund. The black coat is considered
to come next in social position,
and the ordinary inufti garment for
those -whose subscription is very small
Indeed.?Tailor and Cutter.
Two Now French Caves.
Two remarkable cases have been discovered
in France by Messrs. Capitan
and Breuil, In which the walls are covered
with drawn and painted figures
of the paleolithic epoch. These are
mostly figures of animals, and some
of them have been drawn with striking
correctness. In the first cave, at
Combarelles (Dordogne), the figures
are drawn with a deeply engraved line
and are vigorous in execution. They
include the mammoth reindeer and
other animals extinct in France. In
the second cave, at Font-de-(?aume, not
far distant from the former, blade
lines are used, and sometimes the
whole animal is painted black, forming
a silhoutte. lied oclier is also used
in the figures, which are sometimes
four feet long. Many of the figures
are covered with a stalagmite deposit
which often reaches an inch in thickness.?Scientific
American.
Easy.
The girls of Smith College at Normaftipton,
Mass., are iddignaut at a new
set of rules, one of which forbids any
one of them taking a carriage ride
with any students of Amherst College
unless engaged to be married to him.
There must always be two girle, but
there may also be two men, provided
they are all in the same vehicle. Announcements
of many engagements are
exDected.?Philadelphia Tim#s.
'
I
|| A DAT WITH THE If
1 CRANBERRY PICKERS, jg
TIT HANKSGIVING DAY and the
2 cranberry are one and Insen
| arable in the United States,
"g" During the year the cranberry
has as steady a market as the cabbage,
but in the month of November the demand
for it is phenomenal, a little
less than one-half the year's crop bej*111'
^ *" ~ ^ ^ =
*
A TOTJTHOTJL ' WOBKEB IN THE JHELD.
ing disposed of in the thirty days. This
year the total yield is estimated at
1,000,000 bushels, and over 400,000
bushels will be needed for Thanksgiving.
The cranberry grower is a sharer
in the general prosperity of the times,
his vines yielding him nearly twice the
crop of last year. From Cape Cod,
nrwrVi tTTl
X IHjLIU, \Y 1
(The field is irrigated from tl
where American cranberries were first
! cultivated, to .the remote island of Kodlak,
Alaska, the northern and westernmost
point where the fruit is grown,
the same reports of a bountiful harvest
are given.
Of all familiar fruits it is safe to
Bay that there Is none of which so little
is generally known as the cranberry.
Originally It grew wild, as,
In fact, it does to-day in several of
the States bordering on the Canada
| line, in the salt marshes of the coast
I States, In the glades of the Alleghaj
nies, and as far south as Virginia
: and the Carolinas. Unlike the strawI
berry, the wild cranberry Is distinctly
! Inferior to its cultivated relative. Both
! grow on a small, hardy shrub, about
six inches in height. The fruit takes
Its name from the appearance of the
flower, which, just before expanding
, Into perfection, bears a marked resemblance
to the neck, head and bill of a
crane. Hence the name "craneberry,"
which usage has made into cranberry.
Sand and peaty ground form fhe
proper soil, and instead of fertilizing,
the grower is obliged to give the vines
or bushes liberal coats of sand. The
ground must be low, as it Is kept under
! water much of the time. The marsh,
I or bog, as it is variously termed, Is so
! arranged that any section of it may
be flooded at the discretion of the
grower, the system of ditches and
sluices being the same as those used in
Irrigating the arid lands of the West.
: The making of the beg is an expen!
sive process, involving an expenditure
of from $300 to $500 an acre, and an
interim of five years elapses before the
yield is really profitable. After that
each year should give'a larger return
on the investment. No rotation of
crops is necessary, and the shrubs
live and bear and increase endlessly.
WINNOWING THE LEAVES AND STICKS
FROM THE BERRIES.
Planting a new section of bog is a
simple process. A iinall handful of
twigs is twisted together and thrust
deep into the sand. They take root
immediately, and within a year put
fm-th now lmrlcrhts niul l>r>jrin to send
out ruuners. The planting Is ejght
or tea inches apart in rows. Gradually
the space between fills up, and
in an old bog the shrubs grow as thickly
as buffalo grass. All they require
then is weeding, sanding and flooding.
Flooding is necessary not only for
the growth of the plant, but to protect
it from the early frosts of autumn.
! It is no unusual sight to see a halfhundred
pickers at work in one section
of a bog, -while the adjoining section
is under eighteen inches of water.
Beneath the transparent covering the
berries are seen, the water only intensifying
their brilliant covering and
the deep green of the surrounding
j leaves.
. v ' ' v;. ' U"
Picking cranberries is a task for
nimble fingers. The picker, sitting or
kneeling on the damp sand, plunges
both hands," with fingers slightly
cnroo/1 *nfA vinoa anH with fl
quick movement strips the berries
from the stems and tosses them into
a pan beside him. When the pan is.
filled it is emptied into a pail holding
one-third of a bushel. The size is uniform
and the pickers are paid by the
pail. The berries are finally put into
crates holding a bushel each. Before
they are ready for market, however,
they are winnowed of leaves and
weeds, and are ready for the consumer.
The first cranberries come from the
Cape Cod bogs. There picking begins
early In September and lasts until se- "
vere frosts put an end to the season.
The Long Island and tfew Jerseys-berries
reach the market about two weeks
later, or about the middle of September.
In the' Middle States and the
West the crop is not quite so early.
Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa
and Northern Iowa are cranberry
States. The West consumes practically
all its own product, and also a part
of the Eastern yield. The western
berry rarely finds Its way Into the
markets of the East In the cost States
the cranberry Is a remarkable favorite,
and without It a mere turkey would
be considered anything but a piece de
resistance on the New England day
of days. New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania
and New England consume
more than half the entire annual crop.
New York City alone requiring 250,000
bushels a year.
For these berries the producer will
average a minimum of $5 a barrel.
The consumer pays at retail from five
^ c-M 1
* !
\Yv Wk, :
[TH PICKERS AT WORK. ,
le ditches at regular intervals.)
to ten cents a quart, generally the latter
price. The price Is governed by the
abundance of tbe yield. Sifting these
figures it will be seen that a large
amount of money goes to some one
between the producer alid the consumer,
but it must be borne in mind
that cranberries, like apples, m.ust pay
the price of long storage. Sometimes,
when the oroducer can afford It, he
puts away a large part of his crop,
and lets It remain In storage until tbe
last of December or the middle of
January,_ when, as a rule, the price
advances. There have been times when
cranberries brought $8 and $10 a bar- ,
rel.
There is a popular idea that cranberry
growing is a sure road to wealth. (
A. BOO COMPLETELY FLOODED BT WATEB
(The plants and berries are beneath.)
One of the sages among growers, Mr.
E. L. Brown, of Calverton, Long Isl- ,
and, (jails cranberries a "young man's
crop." This means that a man who
chooses cranberry farming as a road
to affluence must be willing to wait,
and to work steadily and with perseverance
while he waits. A few years ,
ago a wealthy resident of Detroit,
stirred by the glorified accounts of
cranberry profits, invested $250,000 in ,
an attempt to raise the berries on a *
large scale. He abandoned his enterprise
at the end of the second year,
losing almost his entire investment.
Profitable as cranberry raising may
be, under right conditions, to cultivate
the berry successfully means that the
grower must often carry a heavy burden
of care and anxiety. So it is simple
truth to say that in this year of
bountiful .harvest, of all the thanks
expressed on the appointed day, those
of the Ulan who grows cranberries will
be even greater and more fervent than ,
the appreciation of the thousands who
delight their palates with the boon
pomnanion of the turkey at the
Thanksgiving board, the crimson product
of the cranberry vine.?Charles
Culver Johnson, in Harper's Weekly.
A Dense Illinois Forest.
There is .1 tract of laud in Tazewell
County, 111., lying along the Mackinaw
River, which consists of a continuous
series of abrupt and deep ravines.
Not a foot of the tract could
be cultivated. The ridges are full of
fox dens, wolves are occasionally
found, and turkey buzzards hover
over it in large flocks. Even people
familiar with the territory have been
lost in the dense forest. Except for
a few giant oaks, the wood has 110
commercial value. The tract is
known as the "Lost Forty" because
no qne knows who owns it. For years
it has been used for trading purposes,
and many unwary persons from a dis
tance have advanced money upon it
and taken mortgages in various sums,
only to receive a questionable title to
a worthless piece of land. On the
Tazewell County tax books the
"Forty" appears with "Owner unknown."
The land is watered by innumerable
springs and the Mackinaw
River, which winds Its way th/ouglfc
For Gleaning Ships' Bull*
The newest Idea In the way of
contrivance for cleaning the bottom c
ships at sea so as to avoid the e:
pense of docking Is the Invention of
Florida man. It is a long tube of car
vas, with a sort of bag at the end c
It. The tube Is lowered by ropes ove
the side of the vessel, and the opei
ator slides down Inside of It until h
reaches the Dag.
The bag is weighted at the bottoc
to hold it down and keep it steadj
and near the upper end of it is a glas
plate, through which the diver ca.<
look and see what he is doing whil
removing the,barnacles and seaweed
which have collected on the hull o
the ship.?New York Herald.
Disk Throwing Game of the Swlaa.
The mountaineers of Switzerland ar
fond of outdoor sports?competitiv
tests of strength and agility. Amon;
these sports that of "hurnussing
Beems to be the one least known oul
side of the little Republic, but an al
tempt is about to be made to lntroduc
It into the United States. The "hui
duss" is a small disk, about two inche
in diameter, much thicker in the mid
die than at the ends.
When the game begins the "hurnuss
Is laid on the raised end of a beam
whose other end rests on the ground
the disk being placed so that its ric
Drojects over the beam end. A shar]
stroke witb a rudderlike stick on th
projecting end of the disk sends th
latter high up Into the air. The plaj
ers are divided into two parties, hil
ters and catchers, the endeavor of th
latter being to Intercept the flyin
'hurnuss" by throwing short handle
flat shovels up into the probable lin
or its mgnt, ana men cull-u iue iu ici
cepted falling disk with the hands.
To insure to the catchers a point th
3 :
\ f rosperitg on Farm-!
The world-wide scarcity of stapl
foods means high prices for city coi
sumers; but for this country the scan
ity habits cheerful side in the prospei
ity of the farmer. Corn was badl
EVERYTHI>
hurt by the drought, but the smalle
yield Is worth more money than eve:
and some old corn Is still to be mai
keted. The same is true of whea
Beet-sugar production, prosperous 1
Colorado and Nebraska, makes in otnc
?
catching mast be done within
a marked space, beginning about twen>f
ty yards from the hitters, widening
c- more and more without limit ahead. If
a the "hurnuss" be not caught it counts
i- a point for the hitter; If caught, one
if for the catchers. Whenever the disk
falls three times in succession outside
of the marked space the hitter Is
"out;" also when the "hurnuss" Is
Cn unnri o a All flia h \ fforo Pro
taugau wu ouvu aa ait wuu uavvvau *mv
out the catchers take their places.
Whichever party makes the most
points is declared the winner.
How difficult It 1s to catch a "hurnuss"
may be guessed from the fact
that the small disk is often pitched
twenty yards high and 200 yards
away; yet practiced players manage
to bring It down by throwing their
queer shovels up in the way of its
flights.?New York Herald.
The Boy King of 8#*ia.tr
There is something pathetic In the
position of Alphonso XIII., the boy
e king of Spain. As yet he has not felt
the full burden of ruling the most
turbulent country In Europe, but on
May 17 next, when he completes his
sixteenth year, he must, take over the
duties of kingship and more than his
share of its dangers.. In appearance
a 1o/i* ndla thin
UC 19 4UUC a uuiivaiu tuuf ^uivi VMM*
and nertous, bat with a surprising reserve
of endurance. Considering hla
age be bas, it is said, a wonderful
knowledge of mathematics, history,
and military sclcnee, and he speaks
English, French and German as well
as his native tongue. Meantime Madrid
has not seen mucb of him, and the
general impression that be does not
approve of the bull-ring affects his
popularity.
Q Bide la a Barrel.
\ !k new thing in the way of pleasure
s railways is promised for the coming
a summer season. It Is nothing lesis
e than "a ride In a barrel. The device
s
BEVOLVINO BABBEL FL7SB.
I 1 ^rnmrnm
\ Is siown in the accompanying cut
I Railways of this kind may be erected
; during the coming spring at Cape May,
' Atlantic City, Asbury Park and Coney
Island.
The barrel flyer is the invention of
the late M. C. Campbell, and one of
them was built at Rltterville Park,
near Ailentown, ds an experiment, and
many thrilling rides were taken over
it
A Remark From an Auditor.
a A Scottish member of Parliameni
e was not complimented lately when he
r- was addressing his constituents. He
t- assured his hearers that he was noi
e an idle member of the House, anc
g that during the last two years he had
d put no less than 182 questions to th?.
e Speaker and the members of the government.
"What an ignorant aula
beggar yevmust be!" cried a voice
9 from the crowd.
m States a good beginning. California
? fruit profits by quicker freight service
* and by the short apple crop. Hogs
J? sell at high prices. Horses three years
F ago were shot as "varmints" in Mon*
tana; now, because of the Boer war
e demand, they are worth $40 to $50
l- apiece at the ranch. Long Island farmers
are getting double prices for potatoes,
which are a paying crop from
y Mains to Michigan. Land has ad
* Y? """ ify
..j,? '
:g going tup.
?From the Philadelphia Record.
>r vanced in value; its owners are buying
r, stock, ranking improvements. Agrir
culture, the basic Industry of all, was
t. never in a more flourishing condition1
n than in this country to-day.?New York
ir World.
1 1?? ?t-?:
The Outside
We envy other men who ?eem
To have ao much thet gives them pride-?
Ah, but there's milk beneath the cream,
There's mud below the limpid stream,
The house may have a rotten beam
That looks so well outside.
?Chicago Record-Herald.
. . " '
Cordial CryVocalist?"Now,
shall I bore yon It
I sing 'The Palms?'"
Company (with one voice)?"Yes, yesj '
do, do."?Indianapolis News.
- *' ' ?
Too Near Now.
Teas?"Why, she psed to think tM
Blchmans were very Dice people"
Jess?"Yes, but they've moved is />'
next door to her since then."?PhO*
delphia Press.
Jlan'n 8hor?.
She?"It is comforting to me to know . - ' ?
that woman's hand rules the world." ;
He?"Yes, but you must not forget
that man's hand holds It much of the
time."?Ohio-State* Journal.
BoiIdmi Methods.
Nell?'II wonder why Mame gave he*
age as only twenty-two when she xnaiv
ried old Moneybags?*'
Belle?"Probably she was giving
discount for cash.",?Philadelphia Bee
ord.
Uncle Sasa'a Good Enough.
"It is claimed that a certain gang ot '
counterfeiters' make better dollars than
Uncle Sam does."
"That's a. case where I believe In
letting well enough alone."?Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Sewing Machine Trains.
"Gracious,, bow fast you're running?*
remarked the dressmaker's lapboard,
"You must be In a great hurr?"
"I should say so," xeplied the sewing*
machine; "I've got to make a train."?
Philadelphia Press.
A Guarded Reply. .
"So you are on an automobile trip!"
said the friend. "Where are you going
now?"
"I couldn't say for certain," answered
Mrs. Cayenne, "whether It is home ot
the emergency hospital."?Washington ? (
Star.
A Cynical Suggestion. ?
"How did the United States Senate ; i
get the reputation of being such an
exceptionally dignified body?" inquired
the man who is always eager to leant
"Probably it wasi'by going Into executive
session at precisely the propet
moment," was "the cold-blooded man's
answer?Washington Star.
Knotra His Bus! net*. y
Mrs. Person?'"It beats me how Da
Smart has such a tremendous practice.
They say be doesn't know anything
afiout medicine, or about diseases,
either, for that matter."
Mr. Ferson?"No; but he knows about
all there Is to know about buman/nature.*"?Boston
Transcript
Bataltsetok.
/7( ' } n
, ii Mf '
Mrs. Justwed?"I gave that tramp #
couple of the biscuit* I cooked this
morning."
Mr. Justwed?"Then we must turn
the dog loose to-night The fellow will
surely come hack and try to burn the
barn."?Puck. ' 4
Juitlfltble, Perhaps.
Excited Citizen?"I want a man ar?
rested right away! I've been assault- <
ed, and I wasn't doing a thing but T
walking along the street in a quiet,
orderly and Inoffensive manner, and - ' ,
whistling."
Justice?"Um?er?what tune w.erfe '
you whisillng?"?New York Weekly.
The Formalities. f
"What would you say, my little man, '
If I were to give you a piece of candy?* p
The small boy straightened his spectacles
with his thumb and forefinger
and replied:
"I am compelled to remind you, sir,
that the post prandial oration cannot*
properly, precede the repast."?Washington
Star.
He Coaldn't Speak.
Bilkins (suffering from a heavy cold)
?"I met forty-five different acquaintances
this morning, andx Just fortyfour
of them told me of some cure for .
a cold."
wife?"Didn't the forty-fifth offer
any advice?"
Bilklns?"No; he bad a cold hinsolf.'*
?New York Weekly.
Chilly.
"Is it an engagement ring?"
"No," answered the ofttimes summer
girl. "It is a souvenir."
"But you say you don't remember
who gave it to you."
"That is true. But it may be considered
an effective souvenir, none the
less. I have no doubt the donor often
recalls what it cost, and remembers
me."?Washington Star.
Shying Off.
She?"How odd! Thai lecturer says
blondes should marry brunettes, and
vice versa. You're a decided blonde,
you know."
He?"I suppose so. You're a blonde,
too, aren't you?"
She ? "Oh, no! I'm a pronounced
brunette."
He (in terror)?"Now, Miss De Muir.
? 'ma KaIIatta fhft^
you call never rna&c uic umv
your cream complexion and golden
lialr are?er?not natural."?Chicago
Tribune. ' .*!
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