The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, June 19, 1901, Image 7
mm
I THE HOSPWAL GATE.
7e sit here listlessly and watch the sun
Creeping along the boards beneath oui
feet.
re are the convalescents?thev have done
All that they may for us. There, from
the street,
eople gaze upward at our balcony.
Ialers against the raihng3 lounge and
wait
yill some grim sight reward expectancy.
.Oh, that we, too, were there beyond the
? gate!
8arred like a fortress. (If one could shut
? out
; Suffering, as from the world one shuts
it in
Behind closed doors!) Here we are walled
about
And set apart for pain. Our nearest kin
Etave of us, piteous, only sight and sound
Twice in a week's time ad the rules dictate.
iome of us die before the day comes round,
j Death's rules are rigid, too, behind the
gate!
Easy to enter. Hear the clanging gong!
The fourfold beat of flying hoofs?and
see
IThe gates swing open. Room there in the
throng!
Make way for human life in jeopardy!
Easy the entrance. "Step together, men!"
Slow the return, yet do we all pass
through?
Bome by this gateway to old homes again,
Rnmi> hv a narrower cateway to the
new.
J ?Caroline Duer, in Collier's Weekly.
|j A White Carnation. 1
jjffi Bj Mill Kitty Cox. ,"f *
"T" "T E was only a newsboy, and a
dirty and ragged one at that.
I I but under his torn jacket
(^~ there glowed a spark of
fchlvalry.
} One night, when Miss Alice Rea, as
ihe was hurrying for her train,
Iropped a bundle of papers from her
puff he sprang at once to her assistance.
With a quick "I'll pick 'em up,
pics," he gathered them together,
L?./tiiot onH VionHoH them
pruaueu uu iuc uuoi. auv? uwmww* to
her with a queer little grab at his
ttllapldated cap.
('"Thank you, little fellow," she said.
fCWon't you have one of my flowers?"
&nd selecting one from a large bunch
pf white carnations'which she carried
|he put It Into his hand and then passed
jfraickly on.
irBobby gazed at the flower with a
|ook of amazement, which soon
Changed Into a broad smile of delight.
F-I'll take It home to Maggie," he said,
tdaggle was his sister, who shared
;wlth him the two tiny rooms in a
jtvretched tenement which Bobby
palled home. So he buttoned It under
pis jacket and took It to Maggie.
;1 The nest night Bobby was on the
fookout, and his vigilance was not in
Utaln, for when Miss Rea passed him
fche smiled pleasantly. A young man
In a brown ulster was with her, and
he, too, gave Bobby a careless little
Hod.
i Bobby's eyes were bright as he went
homeward, and Maggie met him at the
floor with a face as happy as his own.
*'Oh, Bobby," she cried eagerly, "I
Showed Mrs. O'Brien my flower this
pfternoon, and she said if I kept it in
Eater maybe it would grow roots, bemuse
it's got such a long stem and so
fciany leaves to it."
- c. nlf/v** n fonr rl n TTQ of
f', cure 1'UUU$U, Qiici a. ?.*.?? uiv ^
careful -watching and tending, tiny
White roots appeared. Then Maggie
filled an old can -with earth, and the
little plant was gently placed in it.
[ It grew and flourished, and with it
$he friendship between Bobby, the
flower lady?as he called her?and the
jfaung man in the brown ulster increased.
Every morning Bobby was
patching for them, and every evening
ne stood where they would pass him
Sn heir way to the train. There was
always some pleasant greeting ready,
Which brightened Bobby's day and
bent him home at night with a cheerful
heart.
I But one chilly February morning, as
Bobby stood in his accustomed place
' he saw the young man come across the
Street alone. There was a troubled
look on his face, and he passed Bobby
Without even a glance.
A vague fear rose in the boy's heart,
had nothing was able to dispel it. His
bther customers missed the cheery salnt?tion
with which he usually greeted
jlhem, and more than one looked curiously
at the childish face, with its preoccupied
expression.
On the third day Bobby could endure
It no longer. As the young man crossed
the street some one stepped directly
Into the path. He looked down impatiently,
but his face changed as he
recognized the boy.
"What Is it?" he asked quickly, but
not unkindly.
"The lady, sir?" Bobby said, faintly.
' Isn't she coming any more?"
"I hope so," said the young man
gravely, "but not just now. She is
| Blck, you see, and the doctors .say it
;wttl be a long time at least oerore sue
can come again."
Bobby turned away. The dread in
his heart had been put into words, and
the direct knowledge, although he had
longed for It, was almost more than
he could bear.
At last, just a week from the morning
when he had first heard the sad
news, as-Bobby stood at his post ho
88w the young man coming across the
street, with a face so white and set
and stamped with terrible sorrow that
for a moment Bobby's heart stood still.
Then, as the young man came close
.to him, he stepped forward involuntarily
and laid his hand on the brown
sleeve.
The boy spoke no word, but the other
read the question in the eager, anxious
eyes and said in a low, choked voice
"She died this morning. I am going
back in an hour."
Bobby's hand dropped from tht
young man's arm. For a moment b(
stood still, dazed by the words lie bac
just heard. Then, regardless of his
unsold papers, he turned and wenl
slowly back to the old tenement hf
bad left but half an hour before.
, Maggie started with surprise as be
fcame in, but one glance at his grief
Btrlcken face told her the whole story.
"The lady, Bobby?" she gasped, "Is
Bhe "
"She's dead," said Bobby, dropping
Into the nearest chair and laying his
bead on the old table, "the young mar
jtold me. I'll never see her again, anc
I can't do anything for her!" And th<
little figure was shaken by heavy sobs
Maggie stood silently beside bim foi
. ..
v-. . i T . > .
some moments. Then suddenly turning,
she went into the second of the
, two little rooms.
When she returned she carried the
old pan In which thpv had nlanted the
carnation. It now held a sturdy plant,
and bearing Itself proudly aloft on its
slender stem was a beautiful blossom.
"See. Bobby," she said, "laying her
hand on the bowed stem. "I've been
keeping It for a surprise for you, but
you shall have It for the lady. Perhaps
the young man can take it to
her."
Bobby looked up. Motionless he
looked at the flower, then sprang
quickly to his feet "He said he'd go
back in an hour. I shall just have
time!" he exclaimed.
Carefully and tenderly the carnation
was cut from its stalk and wrapped in
whle paper. Then, only stopping to
kiss Maggie In a way that told the
gratitude he could not speak, Bobby
bounded<2own the stairs and raced
away toward the station. He was only
just In time, for as he sped around the
last corner he saw the brown coated
figure crossing the street Breathlessly
he rushed after him and accosted
him at the gates.
"It's for her, sir," he gasped, holding
out the precious white parcel. "It
grew from the one she gave me that
day. It's all I could get, but I'd like
It to go to her."
The young man took the flower silently.
For the first time that day
tears filled his eyes, and he stood
fighting back the emotion that threatened
to overpower him.
Then, looking down into the wistful,
childish face upturned to his, he said
gently, "It shall be put Into her hand."
And Bobby was satisfied.?Buffalo
Times.
MOTHER SHIPTON DIDN'T SAY SO.
Information For a Correspondent WHO
Asks About Her Prophecy.
A correspondent writes to the New
York Sun to ask for information concerning
the so-called prophecy of
Mother Shlpton. What Is commonly
spoken of as Mother Shlpton's prophecy
Is a piece of rhyme which was
first printed about 1861. It is as follows:
Carriages without horses shall go,
And accidents fill the world with wo?.
Around the earth thoughts shall fly
In the twinkling of an eye.
The world upside down shall be.
And gold be found at the root 01 a tree.
Through hills man shall ride,
And no horse be at his side.
Under water men shall walk,
Shall ride, shall sleep, shall talk.
In the air men shall be seen,
In black, in white, in preen.
Iron in the water shall-float, 'l
As easy as a wooden boat.
Gold shall be found and shown
In a land that's not now known.
Fire and water shall wonders do.
England shall at last admit a foe.
The world to an end shall come
In eighteen hundred and eighty-one.
This rhvme was published in an al
leged reprint of a chap book version
and was Included with about ten others,
according to Notes and Queries,
in a boob issued by Charles Hlndley,
of Brighton, England. For a number
of years It was supposed by many
that It was what it purported to be,
namely, a prophecy uttered by Mother
Shipton in the first half of the sixteenth
century. Several persons, however,
cast doubts on Its authenticity,
and in April, 1873, Hindley wrote to
Notes and Queries and, to use the
words of that periodical, "made a
clean breast of having fabricated the
prophecy.'*
There is some doubt as to whether
there ever was a Mother Shipton. The
Century Encyclopaedia says she was
born near Knaresborough In Yorkshire,
in July, 14SS, and died about
1559. It also says in regard to her
that she was "a half mythical English
prophetess, baptized Ursula Southlel,"
who married Tony Shipton, a builder.
Other authorities says she was probatttKa1Vt?
mffkl/ial VopIahq nthor
UIJ 1TUU1AJ UiJ tuiv^uii ? cmavwv
prophecies of less Interest than the
one quoted are attributed to her.
Rat* Can Swim.
"Swim?" said the old fisherman, In
answer to a question about rats.
"Well, I should say they could swim;
and dive, too, like good fellows. Wharf
rats swim from wharf to wharf, and
I have seen them dive in four or five
feet of water.
"I have in mind a wharf that was
built upon cribs, to which fishing boats
used to make fast to land their fish.
Sometimes boats would throw over
here small, waste fish, that were of no
use, fish weighing maybe three or four
ounces apiece. There were rats living
in the cribwork of this wharf, and
when there were any of these waste
fish around they would come out to
pet them. You would see a rat poke
his head out from between two logs
of a crib and look down In the water.
If he saw a fish there he would make
u uive ror it, siraigot to tue Dottom,
and set his teeth in it and rise with
it to the top of the water, then scramble
back with it into the cribwork
again to eat it.
"Can rats swim? Well, I should say
they could.?Los Angeles Times.
Hla Eztcnalve Programme.
"My idea," said the ambitious young
author, "is to write a historical novel."
"Yes?"
"And, of course, a magazine article
showing how I came to write the historical
novel."
"Yes?"
"Then to dramatize the historical
novel."
"Yes."
"Then to write a magazine article
showing how I came to dramatize the
historical novel."
"Yes."
' "Then to dramatize tha magazine ar'
tide."
; ?Ab!?
"And to write a magazine article
! showing how I came to dramatize the
; other magazine article."
1 "Good!"
inen to dramatize tbe second mnga
zine article."
"Excellent! Excellent!"
"And then to write "
"Oh! I understand the schcmc! Fine
programme?if the public will s.nnJ
for it!"?Puck.
Proud of HIb Blooms.
King Leopold of Belgium Is perhaps
j the most skilful of royal gardeners,
l and Is said to be prouder of the lovely
1 gardens and greenhouses of Laeken,
j which are the products of his skill and
. care, than of any other of his many
r possessions.
. * - ? 1. '
'Ty"* f. ?'V" i i'-- t -
COSTLY TARGET |
>n of a War Ship That jj
y mil a Fortune to Be S
? Used as a Mark. 8
Our naval experts are making readj
to test a new gun and a new explosiv<
In very elaborate fashion. No old wai
ship being available, the Brooklyr
Naval Yard has received orders tc
make a dummy vessel, at a cost ol
$50,000 or $75,000, the side of whicfc
is to be an actual duplicate of an actu
al man-of-war.
This costly target, says the Nev?
'fork Journal, will be used to test one
of the new twelve-inch rifles such as
are now being Installed on our latest
battleships.
Upon this floating target will also
be trained the new Gathman torpedo
crun. One shot from this frightfully
destructive weapon may blow the
dummy war ship Into splinters.
Naval officers are now discussing the
question of what avail It would be if
the armor were of the finest quality if
a shot striking It should drive it bodily
Into the side of the ship or so strike
and Injure it as to permit large quantities
of water to enter. It is thus
evident that the quality of the armor
Is only one element of the resisting
power of the ship's side.
k ' L *l$EV!EVr '
' ML ,
Armor must be held and supported
by suitable framing like that forming
the ship's hull and of sufficient
strength so that It shall at least resist
any serious Injury until the armor is
actually pierced through and through,
and In the latter case the damage to
the framing should be local only.
The special point that it is hoped to
settle in the coming test with the big
target is to note how a shot from the
torpedo gun will affect the ship's side
about the water line. For a considerable
portion of her length a ship's side
is protected by a belt of armor extending
from three feet above to four and
one-half feet below the water line.
The upper portion of this armor Is
fourteen Inches thick down to a point
one foot below the water line, below
which it decreases to seven inches at
the bottom. The armor Is bolted to an
elaborate system of framing forming
the portion of the hull. It is the efficiency
of this framing that is to form
the object of the coming test. For this
purpose the target Is now being designed
by Captain Capps. It will
represent part of the side of the battleship
Iowa.
All this structure and wall of armor
when complete will be mounted on a
big float and towed out to sea off Sandy
Hook.
When viewed broadside on it will
look like a small section of the battleship
Iowa. But looked at from behind
or from either end it will present
the curious form shown In the
diagram. Several years ago the French
Government built a dummy representing
the complete side of a war ship
as a floating target. Our new target
Is modeled after that.
The Gathman gun which Is to be
trained on this miniature enemy has
a huge barrel with an eighteen-inch
bore, but the gun is shorter and lighter
than our twelve-inch naval guns. It
has just lately been completed at a
cost of $05,000 at the Bethlehem
(Penn.) iron works, and is to hurl gun
cotton shells.
One shot from the Gathman gun is
expected to sink the biggest war ship
afloat.
Torpedoes and Ether Ware*.
An ingenious mechanism has been
devised by an Englishman, by means
of which a submarine torpedo can be
steered by ether waves transmitted as
in wireless telegraphy. The torpedo,
in addition to the usual explosive apparatus,
carries a Marconi coherer, in
/>irr>nf* with a rplav and batter, and
this Is so arranged that It governs the
movement of the rudder. A fine wire
attached to a metal float keeps the
torpedo in communication with the
air, and, consequently, with the ether
waves. By means of a wireless transmitter
the apparatus in the torpedo is
actuated from the shore or from a
ship, and the torpedo's movements are
thus controlled.
THE AMERICAN !
I V.
THE PAY-CAB AT TH
:ir.. ,y". .'A-5 ... , 'M.
"* . v "/Tv'V;v O.'^' pw
E Drlrtng an Engine by Light of Ban.
? People in Los Angeles are much ex*
h cited over the apparent success of the
? machine recently built there by Bos
ton capitalists to harness the rays of
? the sun and make them work a steam
* engine.
JI They have bout a nnge "sun mo
! tor," which pumps up water for irrigation
purposes. The sun motor looks
like an Inverted umbrella, consisting
of a reflector thirty-three feet six
Inches across the top, lined with rows
of small mirrors. These reflect the
sunlight, concentrating It upon a small
boiler In the centre, In which steam is
generated.
~. ~7
I
BPPW?-_j>, i,
FULL SIDE OF A BATTLESHIP.
This, after all, Is only a modification
of the huge sun motor built by
Erlccson and set up in Boston, many
years ago, the boiler In that case being
a long tube running longitudinally
with the mirror. Whether the heat
from the sun can compete with the
heat from coal, from an economical
standpoint, Is, however, doubtful. On
a cloudy day the sun motor would
have to go out of business altogether.
Perhaps at Los Angeles, which is In
the sunny land, more sunshiny days
will be found than anywhere else on
earth. In these latitudes there would
be many days in the year when such
an engine would be altogether useless,
while a coal engine would be always
reliable.?New York Herald.
Fire Making Machine on Xxhibitloa.
In the American Museum of Natural
History can be seen some new and interesting
household utensils from the
Arctic regions.
They belong to a hitherto unknown
race of Esquimaux dwelling on a
bleak and supposedly uninhabited island
in the north end of Hudson Bay.
These people have been termed a lost
tribe from their primitive condition
and mode of life. The most remarki
able feature about them is the fact
that they stand to-day at the very beginning
of culture, literally living in
the stone age. They know nothing
of the use of metals, and they possess
not a single article of modern manufacture
tnat has been introduced into
America since the landing of Columbus.
One of the most startling objects
found among their effects was a crude
and primitive fire drill, used to start
a flame. This ancient method of producing
lire by friction is the same that
was used a thousand years ago. A
stick or wood swirtiy turnea in a aiui
under a steady pressure produces a
cone of dust, which gradually springs
into a blaze.?New York Herald.
Lawn Tennis Captures a King. _
The King of Portugal is an enthusiastic
lawn tennis player, and both the
king and his brother, the Infanto Don
Alphonso, played for the south of Portugal
against the north in the recent
tournament at Cascaes, for the challenge
cup offered by the Queen of Portugal.
The king plays a hard volleying
game, with good judgment in placing,
and can hold his own with the best
players in Portugal.
Twice a year, in the first week in
April and October, the Chinese carry
food to their dead.
STEEL INDUSTRY.
;e homestead works.
?From Haroer's Weekly.
' ' ?> ' v.- J?, C.
Dutdoor Pantry, ||:
Southern Style. I
p v " w ^
Pantry requirements are a trifle paradoxical,
in that they are air and light
and darkness. A pantry window is
essential, even if it be no more than
a tiny two-light sliding sash, set anyhow
In the outer wall. A regular
window is much better. It need not
waste wall-space-shelves, but can be
so placed across it as to admit its
working. But if a panty can be allotted
as much as six feet of bouse
wall It Is better to have the window
set crosswise, with the lower edge a
little more than breast high. Then,
by making one sash of glass, and filling
the other with wire gauze, the
pantry can have a handy outdoor closet
Have a tight deal partition running
out from the sash division, as
far as the space permits. Put shelves
n ?/s?l M /I +K wnA Art A P +K A +t*TA /1Am_
diUUUU IUXCC OIUUO Ul luo in Vf V.UUi"
partments thus formed, and close them
with tight light deal doors. Thus the
Indoor pantry can subserve Its proper
purposes, and the outside closet banish
the iceman for six months in the
year.
People with plenty of ground space,
yet constricted houses, may profitably
take a leaf from the book of south
country household economy. It Is common
there for country folk to have a
sort of outdoor fresh air closet, a small
detached structure set in the shadiest
place possible, standing upon four tall
legs, with a flat shingle roof of barely
enough pitch to shed rain. The floor
is at least four feet from the ground,
and the whole structure only big
enough to reach well across. There
are shelves all around, and the weatherboardlng
up next the roof is full of
tiny auger holes. The door fits tight,
I
m pirn
/ /<^ f|
?.*' ' <,
'J'i V
?. .- A FRESH AIR
and fastens with a look. Around each
of the four legs Is commonly a tar
bandage applied six Inches above the
ground. This traps ventursome ants,
?mif1<ynci onH thoir IrlilnoT thna Ivppnlncr
U4/4X4V4M ?V.. ? ? v,, 0
the inside clear. The structure is
whitewashed inside and out twice a
year. In hot weather floor and
Bhelves are washed every morning, and
scoured twice a week. Such a fixture
should not cost over three or four dollars,
even if one hires it built, and it
is certainly among the handiest things
one can have about the house or yard.
?Chicago Record-Herald.
Makes a Publisher Tired.
It is very apt to make the publisher
of a newspaper tired after carrying r.
subscriber for two or ihree years without
seeing the color of his money to
have him finally send along his cash
accompanied by a letter ordering his
name off the list, simply because he
was asked to pay up. Instead of appreciating
the extension of his credit
for so long a period, he is only too apt
to consider himself a much injured 1
Individual when payment is suggested.
What he should do after holding
back for so long a time is not omy iu
settle up, but, by way of ret-ming
past favors, pay for a few years' subscription
In advance. That's what he
should do, but does he do it? Well, a
man of good breeding does.?Fourth
i-:tate.
Placing the Responsibility.
The Baltimore Sun prints a story
as told by the wife of a member of
the House of Representatives. Toward
morning, not long ago, the lady
was awakened by unusual noises below
stairs, and tried to rouse her husband.
"Wake up! Wake up!" she said In
a low voice. "You must wake up and
go down-stairs; there are thieves in
the house!"
"Oh, uo, my dear." rejoined the halfawake
husband, reassuringly. "There
arc no thieves in the House; they are
all la the Senate."
Issued by Insane l'utienta.
The News is the name of a unique
and interesting paper pulrlslied by the
patients of the Maryland Hospital for
the Insane at Cautonsville, Md. One
of the artirles reads:
"It is a wonder some of the patients
do not learn the St. Vitus Dance.
Every other dance seems to have been
tried here in the Assembly Hall."
A Stroke of Genius.
"This is shear genius on my part,"
mused the editor, as he proceeded to
mai:e, an ileui out of 4000 words of
manuscript. ? New York Commercial
Advertiser. <
i
Discovery of an Extraordinary Headdren
Not many travelers go to Bosnia,
but there Is a young man in a large
Rprlln mllUnpnr pstflhllflhment who had
the good fortune to go there a few
weeks ago, and who has now returned
to the German capital with a cnrloua
memento of his Journey. At first he
thought the country rather dull, but
nnt? dntr. as hp was strolline throneh
Srebrenica, near the Servian border,
be saw an object in which he at once
became deeply interested.
This was a cap, or hat, of extraordinary
shape and construction, and it
was worn by a comely farmer's wife.
The German followed a woman at a
respectful distance, and the more he
studied her strange headgear the more
his instincts as a sartorial artist convinced
him that by a little deft man
p pi' p
irliP
FOOD SAFE.
ipulatlon and a proper arrangement of
colors it could be transformed Into a
bat that would delight tbe most fastldtous
lady In Berlin.
That very evening, therefore, he
obtained a sample cap and examined It
closely. He found that its foundation
was of straw, and that on It was
built an amazing and gorgeous superstructure
of cocks' and peacocks'
feathers. In front, too, was a small
framed mirror and round it were several
silver coins and two of gold.
Next day he made further Inquiries
and learned that sometimes the foundation
is an ordinary fez instead of
straw; that an embroidered 'kerchief
is invariably worn with the cap, falling
down it at the back, so as to protect
the neck, and that the headgear
was introduced from Servia into Bosnia
about twenty years ago. What
surprised him most, however, was to
learn that it is only married women
who wear this cap, and that it is their
fixed rule to strip it of all its feathers
after they are married one year, and
henceforth to wear only the foundation
of straw or a plain fez.
With three or four Bosnian caps
carefully packed In bandboxes he returned
to work, and now his firm is
debating whether it would be possible
to model from this picturesque
headgear hats that would commend
themselves to the fashionable' women
of Berlin.?New York Heralcf.
i
The Lateat In "Tlp?.*'
A somewhat grasping hotel proprietor
met his match not long ago. He
rt nranlfhv trlaltAl* tnin 51
uau au\jyyxA u nt??vuj *? **? ?># w
room containing a chandelier holding
twenty candles, and Instructed an attendant
to light them all. The man
did so, but the guest immediately ordered
him to put them all out. Yet
when the visitor asked for his bill he
found tbls item: "Twenty candles, five
shillings."
He went back to the room and took
them all out, wrapped them in a bit oi
paper, and slipped them into his over
coat pocket.
When leaving the hotel he found
many servants in the hall, smiling
pleasantly, and ready for the expected
tin Then the denarting cuest drew
out the candles and began to dlstrib
ute them. "Allow me, sir," said he.
with a bow; "permit me. miss. They
are very superior candles, I assure
you; I paid a good price for them,"
and so he left them, staring hopelessly
at their novel tip.?Tit-Bits.
To the majority of the Inhabitants
of Italy the taste of meat is known
only on rare festivities.
?? ??mm
' OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR I
lAUCKTER-PROVOKINC stories for
lovers of fun.
Golf?No Robber of His B ace?Lingual?
Quick and Effective?Molt Import aa ' 't
Thing ? A Technical Defenae' ? Social
Training?Reconciled to the Outlay, Eta
Maxwelton's braes are bonny,
And everyone extols
The hazards and the bunkers, there,
And the course of eighteen holes.
'Tis there with Annie Laurie,
And caddie, every day,
I 20, and oh! how blissfully
We hoot the hours away (awa!)! ;
?Detroit Journal.
No Robber of His Race.
"Jones, you borrow an awful lot of
trouble."
"Well, I m always willing to lend it,
ain't I?"
Lingual.
"Oh, ma." A
"What is it. Jimmie?"
"Do we eat 'ofT a plate?or do we eat
'on' a plate?"?Chicago Record-Herald.
Quick and Effective.
Willie?"How did you break your
wife of the 'advanced woman' craze?"
Wise?"Told her everybody thought
It meant 'advanced' In years."?Kansas
City (Mo.) Independent.
I Moat Important Thing.
Professor?"Can you tell me anything
of national importance about the Hawaiian
group of islands?"
Bright Boy?"Yes, sir. The Pacific
i Ocean."?Chicago Daily News.
A Technical Defenae.
Sue?"You said you were going to
marry an artist, and now you are engaged
to a dentist"
Flo?"Well, Isn't hj^ an artist? He
draws from real lifer'?Philadelphia
Bulletin. .
Social Training.
Miss Gotrlchkwick?"Please, sir, ifl .
this a training school?"
Principal?"It is."
Miss Gotrlchkwick?"Please, sir, I
wish to learn how to eat olives."?Ohio
State Journal.
Reconciled to the Outlay.
Mrs. De^Jborn ? "Did Jerry balk
when the minister charged him $3 for
marrying you?" ,.:v j
Mrs. Wabash?"He did a little, at
first, but finally the parson said he'd
do it cheaper the next time."?Yonkers
Statesman.
*
Sincere Grief at His tq??.
Banks?"You think I look glum. Well. 1
why shouldn't I? I hare lost a ricb i
aunt."
Beach?"Did she die suddenly?" %
Banks?"Diesuddenly? She isn't dead
at all. Her niece has jilted me."?Boston
Transcript.
It Feet Were Nimbler Than Tongue.
Stutterton?"Have I gug-gug-got tuttime
to cuc-cuc-catch the n-n-next
t-train for N*N-New?
R. R. Porter?"Noo York? Yis; ye
have, providin' ye walk.fasther than
ye talk. It don't lave fur an hour."?
PhiladelDhia Record.
'J
The Tramps' View."
Resting Robert?"See here, Tom, this
paper says we have no leisure class inthis
country?that even our millionaires
are hard-working men."
Tired Thomas ?"That man don't
know what he is writing about. We
are the leisure class."?New York Herald.
, .
An Embarrassment.
"I don't know what to do with all
this money," said the practical political
worker.
"What money is that?" inquired the
friend.
"The boss gave me $10,000 to put
where It would do most good. I have
over $6000 left."
Vt
A Placid Statesman.
"I suppose a man in your position is
beset with Deonle who are trying to
impose on his good nature."
"Yes," answered Senator Sorghum.
"But I don't complain. If you haven't
something that somebody is trying to
get away from you, it is a sign you
haven't amounted to much in life."-'
Washington Star.
An Extremist.
"Talking about college spirit," said
the first fair co-ed, "Sophie Moore carries
it to the extreme.'
"You don't say?"remarked the other.
"Yes, she won't ever eat anything
but strawberry and vanilla when she's
being treated to ice cream; because
red and white are the college colors."?
Philadelphia Press.
No Yankee Blood In Him.
"No, really," she said, "I believe my
husband is different from other men."
"Oh, yes, I suppose so," her experienced
friend replied, "but you'll outgrow
it. Every woman thinks, during
the fiwt few years, that her husband
is not like other men."
"But William," she insisted, "haa
never, so far as I know, expected to
get a fortune out of an invention of
some kind."
The New Power.
"Teailier, teacher," said little Richard.
"Well, what is It?"
"Didn't you say yesterday that the
world was kept in its place by the
force of gravity?"
"l'es, the attraction of the sun keepa
the world moving in a regular orbit."
"Then somebody's been striugin' my /
pa again. He said last night it was J.
Pierpont Morgan."?Chicago HeraldKecord.
A Blow That Stunned.
"w.-ivp vnn ever had a dumb, name
less feeling of some approacning disaster?"
she asked.
"Well, no." the celebrated lawyer
replied; "the only time I ever bad that
kind of a feeling was once after the
disaster had arrived."
"Oh, dear! What was it that happened
to you V"
"Why. you see. a girl that I had been
engaged to several years before my
marriage came into my office one day
to have me give her some advice concerning
the disposition of about $360.000
worth of property she had just inherited
from an uncle in Australia that
I she had uever told me about."? CM'
cago Record-Herald.
- V . ' '? ' ' ;\ *.-V?