Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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, Ihekinc ! 1 _^honj | A NOVEL OF AMERICAN LIFE ? -ww > Bv MAURICE Cojyrleht, 1892 and 1893 t: CHAPTER XIII. CONTINUED. "I am thirty-seven years old, and I 1 have not yet permitted any man to play master over me. I shall hardly begin now." Then he twirled a glass carelessly and added: "General Jackson, like any other plebeian who has risen a trifle above his present associates, fancies himself a Caesar. It would be good for him , to have his nose pulled." "I should not care to do that piece of pulling " said Faval, dryly; "the nose of Andrew Jackson has the pluck L of a hero b^aind it." L Mr. Vernon laughed; that leonine, | growling chuckle of his came forth F with a suddenness andforoe that fairly jarred the table. He seemed to be reflecting upon .something that amused him greatly. Presently he said: "He dismissed us, Faval, as if he'd | been a district school-teacher and we his rather stupid pupils 1" " 'If Colonel Loring desires to fight for New Ortaans,' " eaid Faval, mocking General' Jackson's manner, " 'let him report to me at once with a gun.'" "When I report to General Jackson he'll be a very much surprised man," * ? J??Ua3 mUli 4-V>of amrtliafiV JUOriug mitwnu, kumv r slowness which sometimes means a great deal. "My report will make his head swim." "Oh, come now," said Favel,' 'Don't go too far with your resentment. Doubtless we shall have to fight under the tyrant. We can't turn our backs." At this moment a gaunt, roughlooking,' stern-faced man strode into t the restaurant, his boots sounding heavily on the floor. "There's General Jackson now!" said Mr. Vernon, and the others turned to see. The-deep-set eyes of the commanI der fixed themselves quickly on Faval, ? and there flashed out of them a perf, ceptible glow of displeasure, as if I Bome sudden vexation had come at sight of . him. The three arose from the table. Mr. Vernon made a step forward and saluted. With a cart bat comprenensive dow General Jackson acknwledged the attention of the Ooup. His eyes, however, did not tnrn from Faval, though the displeasure vanished from them evidently by the force of will. Colonel Loring stood with folded arms while he gazed steadily into General Jackson's eyes. Mr. Vernon extended his hand and the commander shook it perfunctorily. |i"May I introduce Colonel Loring, of whom we were speaking this morning?" Mr. Vernon went on in a cordial tone. "Humph!" grunted Jackson, "How do you do, sir?" |fe The manner and the words were n more careless and indifferent than in K any senso malicious or purposely conBf temptuous; but, to say the least, the R ring of downright impoliteness was B v nnmistakabie. It was plain enough m that Colonel Loring's presence had m not affected the commander a whit 5 more pleasantly than had the suggesW tions in his behalf by Faval and Mr. I Vernon. I Faval made a step half around the r corner of the table, as he saw some r movement on the part of Loring. [ "I am quite sure, General Jackson," Mr. Vernon was going on to 6 say, "that you and Colonel Loring B' will find it pleasant to " Tbe thought in his mind vanished ? on the instant, and he stopped midway m of the sentence; but it was too late Wb' to interpose himself, although he f tried with great promptness and dep-iV oision. | What followed was, perbaps, the most astounding incident in all the turbulent and checkered career of Andrew Jackson. Lorinc made a quick step forward, reached forth his right hand and, grasping tho commander's nose between his thumb and fore finger, tweaked it and wrung it savagely. '"Take that!" he sneered, and then slapped the astonished man's cheek. I "I'll report to you with a gun when I see fit, you conceited ruffian." While he was speaking, Loring had passed briskly along, and in less than five seconds he was out of the room. Indeed, General Jackson, quick and decided as he always was in an emergency, had not recovered from his consternation before his assailant was quite gone. Faval, who had a way, as most unscrupulous politicians have, of making fair weather for himself just at the most critical moment, came to the commander's defense, or rather to his aid, with a pistol which he snatched forth and fired toward ' Loring a little too late to hit him; the bullet creased the door-post. Jackson wheeled and pursued the retreating man. But what was the use? He was gone. The irate commander immediately gave orders for Loring's arrest; but he was not to be found so easily. Jackson, if he suspected that Mr. Vernon and Faval secretly enjoyed his discomfiture, did not betray it. The matter vsas hushed up in short order, and not till many days afterward did the rumor go out in New Orleans that "Old Hickory"' had had his nose pulled and his cheek slapped without being able to fitly resent it. Doubtless the pressure, sudden and apparently irresistible, of the military i situation forced Jackson to cast behind him, for the time at least, all . personal considerations and turu his whole attention to preparing the defense of New Orleans. At all events, while Mr. Vernon and Ernest Faval were yet with him, endeavoring to I quiet him, Lieutenant Ballanchecame in great haste to bear him startling I news from down the liver. The Brit| ish were ooaBting along th? marshes ?p. * i n pv i \_j 1 :YISLAND ; DURING THE WAR OF 1812. mr THOMPSON, ij Robert Bonncr'a Sons. and feeling tbeir way towaru uie city, or trying to get possession of Pontchartrain. As yet, nothing certain could be known of their numbers or equipments, saving that they appeared to be strong, well supplied aiid confident. There were great difficulties in the way of watching their movements, and so far it was doubtful what were their real intentions as to the point of attaok. General Jackson reoerved the young lieutenant respectfully, tven cordially, and' after a few woi ds with him aside, took his arm, and bowing to Faval and Mr. Vernon, walked away with him towards headquarters. Faval, in his Creole volatility, could restrain his indignation no longer. He clenched his hands aud swore; but Mr. Veriion was quite calm and ? in +V| d Inftof in QTT m - UppttTCiillJ UVV iu UUO IOU^V *u *JJ pathy with his companion's bitter criticism of the commander's personal treatment of them. On the evening of this same day, Colonel Loring farther distinguished himself by appearing suddenly in the de Sezannes box at the leading theatre of the city and throttling Lieutenant Ballanche, who at the time was engaged in conversation with Mademoiselle de Sezannes and her mother. The onslaught was so precipitate and so quiokly done with that the perpetrator was gone before any general understanding of the startling affair was had by the audience. Ballanche was seized by the throat' in a grip of iron, lifted bodily and dashed down stunned and almost lifeless at the feet of Mademoiselle de Sezannes. The play going forward on the ntAce was not half so strikingly dra matio as this spectacular performance in real life, and, although the people of New Orleans were well used to scenes of violence, thope who witnessed it were horrified by the peculiar atrocity it exhibited. Loring'a two muscular hands olosed about the young man's neck with frightful force, and his cold, long, narrow eyes flickered balefully under his straight,, dark brows. Mademoiselle de Sezannes and Iter mother screamed; the oldm&n'e face grew livid with fright as - he flung up his fat hands and sank baok. helpless, in his seat, ' ) At this distance it is difficult-to onderstand a state of sooiety like tbiat in New Orleans at the time of which we write; but the temper of the .people may be suggested by the fact that, while the city lav apparently open to an alien and nresumablv reckless enemy whose fleet and troopswere preparing for capture and booty, the leaders of social life and the ohief military officers, Jackson excepted, were at th? theatre enjoying a light play. Moreover, the strange inoident just recorded did not much inconvenience either players or audience after the first thrill of excitement passed by. It was a momentary wonder, nothing more. Mr. Vernon and his wife and daughter were in a box almost opposite the one oocupied by the de Sezannes, and it chanced that Fairfax was with them at the moment when Loring appeared. Pauline did not see the daring and brutal act; but when she turned in the direotion indicated by her father's sudden, excited stare, Losing was standing there facing the stage. He was erect and rigid with a passion not otherwise observable, while Ballanche lay crumpled and still at Mademoiselle de Sezannes's feet. Something in the man's calm, mysterious face sent throagh her a thrill of indescribable sympathy. Ae he turned almost instantly to retreat from the auditorium, his eyes met hers with a quick movement of recognition, and he smiled with a peculiar, subdued gleam in his dark face. She clutched her mother's arms, and her oheeks and lips turned pale as death. She felt rather than saw the flash of ezoitement which passed over the faces of the audience all turned upon the tall form now passing rapidly along the aisle that led to the main entrance. Nobody attempted to stop Loring; even the policemen at therdoor either did not understand what had hapJ ? ?? fnAWA/1 Vtim 4Vl AVf fllrtA/1 youeu ui icmou mui, ivi vucj ouuuu aside when he approached and let him pass untouched. Mr. Vernon sat motionless during the scene. "What is it? What has happened?" demanded his wife, as soon as she conld command her voice. "Hub there bden a fight? Is Lieutenant Ballanche hurt? Who did it? WaB it Colonel Loring?" With the assistance of the exoited M. de Sezannes, Lieutenant Ballanche -was slowly rising. Evidently he was confused and unable to realize what had happened. instinctively, nowever, he righted hij disturbed collar and palled himself together with a show of dignity and coolness which won the admiration of the onlookers. On this very evening a courier brought tbe news to General Jackson that the British forces were approaching the river from Lake Borgne by way of Bayou Bienvenu. Lieutenant Ballanche had not yet fully recovered from his bewilderment, when an officer came to hand him an order from the oominander to report immediately at headquarters. The rumor that the city was on the point of being occupied by the enemy went, somehow, afloat through the theatre. This completed the distraction of the audience. People began to go, at first by individuals or family groups, theu, as the excitement increased, there was a wild rush and a tumult of hysterical voices. They poured into the street with theory : "The English! The English! The city is to be plundered and burit!" Mr. Vernon and Fairfax, alotfg with a respectable minority of th^ audience, kept cool and quietly regained in their seats ; but the look thjt came into Mr. Vernon's face when & heard the shout and for a moment felt that the British army was entering the city, told how terrible the announce, ment was to him. " Come," he said to Fairfa*, "we must get the ladies to a place of safety." "Becalm, dear," he said, laying hold on his wife's arm. Pauline was already clinging tightly to him, but her thoughts were not on the coming of the English soldiery. Somehow she was impressed with the feeling that Colonel Loring had, as if by a touch of magic, caused all this excitement and tumult. CHAPTER XIV. MR. VERNON AND COLONEL LORTNO. It is best for the reader to keep all the time well in mind, as he follows the thread of this story, 'the historical peculiarities that blend with the romance affecting the lives of the peo pie in whom we are interested. The growth of Louisiana from a colony of reckless military adventurers up to the stature of a great State has been a singular instance of evolution. Iberville and Bienville planted the seed of a strange race on the gulf coast. Crozat came with his contract to demoralize, and Law witli his scheme to ruin the colony. Gold- fever, the fever of conquest, the thirst for discovery, the longing for lawless power and romantic glory possessed the grim, fearless, conscienceless adventurers. Now the French held the government; now the Spaniards took it; again the French; anon the Spaniards. But the French and the Spaniards were not alone. Anglo-Americans came slipping into the colony, and most of these were restless, reckless, hungry fellows on the lookout for a chance of fortune. Wilkinson came aud' Burr came and Claiborne and a troop of their kind, all of them burning for power and the glory thereof, money and the glitter of it. Men who had been political sc&emers, revolutionists, plotters of treason, assassination, usurpation, were self-exiled to Louisiana, to escape the rope, the ax, the guillotine. Deposed nobles and princes came here, and, in sheer desperation, took up the life of the gambler, the smuggler or the pirate. Bat ther* was the other side of the medal; for opposed to the dark and turbulent majority stood the V saving remnant," a strong minority of refined people, whom the exigencies of life had stranded on this sweet, slumberous, flowery shore, between the warm gulf Stream and the stately Mississippi. Some .of this remnant were peo? pie who had fled from one or another European country for what would ItnTra Kaan alnrinna nafn'nfinm if nnf?> cessful, although when colored with failure it looked like hideous orijpae. Wrecks of true greatness lay stranded along Royal Street and Boarbon and Carondolette, side by side with vulgar flotsam and jetsam of the great Sea of Ohanoe. True, it was often bard to? discern the rotten from the sound;for the conscienceless, red-handed culprit in exile was inolined to draw about him muoh the same cloak of reserve and mysterious dignity wo^n By the expatriated prince or general whoBe only offence was >he exalted Jove of country. ^ "V: (tO BE COITTINTOp.) ' When ComxaUsleni .ffrjto Bonght. The purQh"ase<Jfcommissions in tbfe " ' i i -t-l.'-L-JS Li I J511U9Q Army wa? auuuaueu uj iu jai warrant in 1871. By "purchase" was not meant that anybody could buy any commission he wanted, provided he had^the money; every commission had a fixed regulation price, but a person had to enter at^the lowest grade. Some commissions were given without purchase, and when*'a senior offioer died the promotion oaused by his death was not purchasable. There have always been promotions from the ranks in the British Army, thotijfh most of these were to riding-masterships and qnartermasterships. But between 1871 and 1895, 957 men were promoted; of these, 622 were to the grades named, and 335 to lieutehanoies in the line, foot-guards, artillery, engineers, ami hr?raa-crn?irdn. fi-flnerftl MacBean, a holder of the Victoria Cro33i Wse from the ranks; and General Hector Maodonald, Aide-de-Camp to the Qaeen, now commanding the Highland Brigade in South Afrioa, enlisted not quite twenty years ago as a private. A Loot Tribe. A correspondent who signs himnell "Miles," writes the following letter to the New York Sun: Daring the Crimean War the British raised a German legion.2They never got nearer the front than Malta, and when peace was declared all who wished?a large maioritv?were sent to the Cape of Good Hope as a sort of Cossack colony on the frontiers, getting instead of forty acres and a mute, all the land they wanted and some stock and agricultural implements to start with, on tne understanding that they were to stand off Zulus or other objeotidnable people when required. What has become of the descendants of these men? Have they become Boers, or are they loyal Afrikanders? In all this South Atrican talk, I haven't seen a syllable about this tribe of the last of the Hessians. Is it a lost tribe? What Her Fapa Sild. The Rev. Joseph Whyte, a promi. nentMethodist divine, now stationed, in Northern California, has an excep-1 tionally bright little daughter. One J day himself and wife, with this little i lassie, aged four years, were riding in j the cars. Two little boys, the sons of j commercial travelers, wer<5 talking tc | the little girls about their respective j papas and what they did. One little j lad said: "My papa sells shoes," and the other said: "Mine sells paper,' and," turning to the little girl, "whal j does your papa soil?" For a moment j the child hesitated, but, not to be outdone by boys, she repliod with the ail of a duchess, "My papa sells talk."? Los Angeles Times. Ov?!u Regulator. In a new oven thermometer a point* er is connected to a shaft running through the door, with au expansible bar inside which moves the pointer af the heat varies, a damper being setin I the door to be opened when tho heal j increases and lifts the pointer to o certain height. He who lives expecting to die, maj die expecting to live. , I T' 1 1 mi TT T ' 1 I Trie Hemp iM I of U THE prospector seeking for investment need not dig below the surface in the Philippines. "J" The culture and harvesting of hemp is the biggest gold mine he will find. The islands seem to have been especially .made for the benefit of the abaca plant. The moist though not swampy country to the south of Manila, the Camarlros, Samar, Leyte and Cebu, would produce a solid overgrowth of the abaca trees if left to take its own course. The tree itself resembles closely the banana palm, but differs essentially !? il.? Amnsina Sio flhro fl ml ltd hfl f ill I lit: UUCUCOO VI HO uuav, .VM renness of fruit. t The natives, too, seem to have been especl~dy provided for the hemp country. Tending to improvidence and indolency, the hemp industry furnishes them employment whenever they run short of rice and tobacco, for hemp can be harvested almost at any time except duiing the short rainy season. Attempts have been made to transplant the hemp trees, taking them only as far away as Borneo, but the musa textiles refused to cohabitate with any but Philippine soil. The Pacific slopes of the volcanic regions of the islands produce the best plants. Although the abaca tree coddles to thin soil, and rather dry, quickly drained localities, the trunk and leaves demand frequent and abundant moisture. Given the proper conditions, the vast plantations will thrive like asparagus beds. Very little cultivation is required; an occasional weeding and a replanting at the harvest time and nature dops the rest. The crop is not gathered as if it were a corn field, but the trees are found in all stages of growth, and the native passes through regular routes, slashing a plant here and there, his practiced eye toe soie juuge 01 hb maturity. Three years Is the proper age for harvesting. The hemp-stripper, I goes forth much as a huntsmai^: HABVESTINO THE ABAC i,OB HEMP PLANT. would. With his bolo in beit and a bamboo canteen full of rice slung over his shoulder, he hies himself to the uplands. After feeling the plauts, which at the age of three years are* about ten feet high, he proceeds to clip off a shoot and rep ant it. After ; a number of trees are cut the strip] ping process begins. All tbe leaves j are torn off ana the outer skin of the I stalk is peele j off. Inside of the trunk is a pitby suustapce,' and around this are layers of fibre Imbedded in a soft juicy substance. The fibre must be separated from the stalk at once lest it rot. Many Americans have cherished the idea of exporting the trunk intact, but the enterprisers not feasible because of theperisnable nature of the pulpous segrement. A bamboo-made bench is improvised, and at one end the stripper binds his bold; the handle attacbod to his foot by another bamboo strip. Across the blade he draws the stalk until the fibre is thoroughly separated without Injury, preserving its length of from j eight to ten feet, and leaving it fine | and beautiful that the tropical sun ,may lick up the moisture still bleeding from the operation. The- work of ! stripping is very tiresome and requires ; the skill of a trained hand. The white man has often attempted I to improve upon the brown man's i method of stripping the hemp, but dej spite largo expenditures and ingenious mechanical contrivances no machine ; has been produced that takes the place j of the native. Patents have been i taken out, and large sums of money - j spent upon experimental machines, : but the texture and peculiar nature of ;i i the abaca plant seem to require the i | touch of human hands to separate its parts. As well try to produce a ma- i chine to comb the snarls out of a worn( an's hair as to make a mechanical hemp-stripper. ! The native is paid for his work in hemp, dividing the product equally ' with the plantation owner. When he cuts and strips all he can carry, he twists up the fibre into a great , roll and goes down to the plantation owner's hous-, and there the division is r i L 1 S*. - -j.rr^i^i. ? )7 > Lf" rs,-~V-f ? -^-?- V"* 4. ~ UNLOADING HE! made. rJboy then hang up the rolls until the middie-man or contractor tl comes along and a bargain is struck, ri The bales are crudely fastened to- tl gether and carried to the naggc^t port \> 7~ w ~ yJ^VY ' V?-'- . 'i'. '? ?. "X ^ ustiy | L? Dkil Tnvn nnn iff I i/tj r i/iiiyyii/ifo, | and shipped usually to Manila, where they are separated, rebaled and shipped either to Hong Kong, where there is an immense rope-walk, or to New York, Boston or London. The rope-walk at Hong Kong is one of the largest in the world. Its product prac tically supplies China, Japan and Australia. Very little Tbernp is made Into rope or twine in Manila. Although crude pope-walks exist in different parts of the island, their manufactured article, although strong and durable, would not compete in the foreigh market. Hemp subserves every purpose that leather might with the BALING native. He twists it into sandals, uses it for harnesses, and it answers for bindeis in the building of bis nipa but. Tbe utility of hemp is well un derstood to the Filipino. Tne nner quality is selected and reserved for ^weaving purposes, being made up into really handsome cloth, while the ordinary hemp is universally used to make a coarse though durable material, worn generally by the natives, who .delight In gaudy colors and picturesque though scanty costume^. There is still another texture woven from the selected strands of outer fibre,. Intermixed with the fibre of the pine-leaf. The cloth has the semblance of unfinished silk, and is pretty and durable, though not as beautiful or dressy as the pure pine-leaf fibre silk known as pina cloth, the best woven product or tne lsianus. The entire liemp. industry of the Philippines is still worked by primitive meinods and witn simple contrivances. Ihe native, though unambitious himself, is jealous of the Chinaman, and is averse to the Celestial getting control of the'plantations or contracts, while scorning up-to-date methods himself. The "Cheno," however, has made inroads in this industry, as well as'in others in the Philippines. Had he not, the development would not have been as rapid as it has. The native is thoroughly capable, and understands the treacment dt the plant and Its harvesting, and could he be Induced to work with regularity would be as good a laborer as the Cninamman, but the Celestial usually controls j|/|| H A N' s /'1 ?J XJKXIMi Mb ill* (J Is A aiAiUJUA WilAJBi. the baling and local marketing of the i hemp. The presses at Jhe seaport towns are crude affairs. After the fibre is classified and separated into three piles or classes, it is dumped in bulk iuto a huge press and a screw applied. After this operation it is taken out and put into another press of more regular design and of more Imposing character. The second press is operated by an eight-armed capstan ou an overhead platiorm, and a score or more of naked coolies, usually Chinese, push It around. The sight is most amusing. With grunts, laughs and confusod jargon and raillery they urge each other Dn and manage to bring their strength roe-other at loudlv accentuated neriods. ,V pood-sized pretfs will turn out 3IHI :o 400 bales a day, and in the course a year a million or more bales are j prepared or shipment. In Cebu large y juantitios are.handled, principally the i, aroducts of Leyte and Snuiar. al- ( hough in tManila the largest presst s s ire in oper'atiou. ], ! ti t s V tJ ^l-i?J l ~~l ^ ^ 1 5> ' , _ 111 =~ - ~ w ^___________?? ai MP AT CEBU. tl lu The classification of hemp requires si lie skill or au old hand, and the expe- al :,1 u*1ia I.'nnwc nil tl ICiil.ru U U1 U L/U.>C? ?l iiv; muvvto u*? le tricks of the traile. The native hi III bring his hemp down from; the, le -r * , j*' V- ' # -< , plantation in a moist state and offer it for sale at night, hoping thus to fool the middle-man as to weight and quality, hut as this part of the business Is mostly in the hands of the Chinese, there is little danger that they will be deceived or cheated. The Chinaman is the sharpest barcriiin-drivw in the world, and whether it is hemp, silk or old junk, he is fully capable of looking after his 'interests. Fineness of fibre, color, strength and length determine the value and grade of hemp. If It be varefully stripped over a smooth knife, immediately and thoroughly dried, and of good length, It will bring the highest price. If it be carelessly stripped, juice being left In the fibre, it loses its color and becomes coarse. It then is considered of a second and third grade quality and brings a smaller price. The native watches the market, and If he hear tj-.it the demand is heavy he tniroo nrivnntflcp nf the middle-man and compels him to pay first-grade prices for secord and third grade products. Formerly hemp brought In Manila from $70 to $150 per ton, always fluctuating according to the supply, ' ?- - .. ' HEMP. at times goiDg up to $300 per ton, but at present the price is practically prohibitive,' and it looks as if it would remain so for the next two years.?Edwin Wildman, in Harper's Weekly. """DOCS CO IN SHOE LEATHER. Canine Footgear a* Worn In tbe Klondike. One of the greatest dangers confronting travelers in parts of the world where dogs take the place of horses is that the dogs which draw sleds 01 transport goods may freeze their feei by contact with fee, and so injure then: A 1WU HH.UJS run ILLiVSUJl^-tu ntiui. that the animals become practically useless, and must be abandoned, to the endaugermeut of the life of tlie traveler who has put his trust in canine motive power. As a precaution against misfortune of this kind it has been a common thiug to wrap the dog's feet in cloth, a piece of leather or rubber. At best all of these, however, were crude and poorly adapted to carry out the desired object., They protected the dogs' foet, but at the same time interfered with the free use of their legs. The development of the Klondike has given special impetus to the demand for some proper protection for dogs' feet. 'i tie uog's snoe, or wnicn me accompanying pbotograpJ was sent from the far Northwest Ito Shoe and Leather Facts. Is made of chrome tanned elk leather, and the upper or calf, making a soft, pliable and yet comfortable shoe. There is ji tongue at the back, ind the lacings are at the back of the leg instead of on the front, because a dog's knee bends just opposite from a man's. The dogs, it is said, take very kindly to these shoes. They become so accustomed to wearing them that they lou't to go without them, with :he rekulP^hat on the trail they will )ften ieome^ up to the driver in the uorn&g and hold out their lesrs to j.ivc their shoes put on. not unlike hildren. If by chance the shoes should be laced too tight, they will vhine and speedily make manifest heir discomfort, wagging their tails vith joy when the shoes are laced to heir liking. YVlld Sheep Siiootiuc. The sheep began to move toward us. t had been a long climb to get beond and above them, but now we lad our reward. On they came, only wo hundred yards away. I could ee their white muzzles,as though they ad been sticking their noses into a our bag. Now I could see the wrin!es in the horns of the rams. The oofs of the advancing flock made a wishing, pattering sound, and they fere only fifty yards away. I took tie nearest ram, and he never drew unfit rwrniti T/\1? 111 fnrw-fniir a iked spitefully. He made a neat it on another ram. furfher away than ly already dying victim, but failed ) stop it. Those sheep did not sail way like deer, touching here and lere a high place. They fattened lemselves out, shot around a corner, tid were gone. Johnnie followed, and was alone. In a few seconds I heard jhnnie's gun feebly thumping away, here was no echoing roar, such as 3u hear in the thick woods. I picked iy way cautiously after Johnnie, and lien I saw the jumps lie had made, id the chances lie had taken, I knew lere was much for me to learn about isty mountain travi'l. .Johnnie sliot x times. and two hundred yards lead, on the crooked, rocky descent le sheep had taken. I found him ju is knees by the big ram. Three bults bad struck.?Scribuer's. ' -y i ' OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR, ' LAUGHTER-PROVOKING STORIES FOR 1 LOVERS OF FUN. $ | To Maidens?Slionld Be U?e?l to It?Had 3 Never Told Her?From Tlieir Point of ,.;i View?In the New Era? Barbarian*? A Definition, ttc., Etc. But believe what you please When they swear they adore you, ,J Let them rest on their knees, ? But believe what you please? T^>f thmi 1MIU on/1 If the thing doesn't bore you, But believe what you please" .When they twear they adore you. "\ ,/M ... ?Smart Set.. 'jj *4 ' ?? - 3 9bo?ld Be Vacd to It. j Mamma?'Tfobft?, it grieves me SCI | to have yoa iiajugitj!" Bobbie (strWtly loglcali?"But why % should it, mw^y? I Fas always so."- ^ Had Told nor. - ' . The l^ife?very near qot.-^j marrytog-yoo, ??,; The, Hnsband?TPs* I know; but l''3M bad no idea you were on to the fact.'y^CT Pd%?Because to be & working with a pick and shovel in*^|S i^tead of writing poetoy, .my son."? ^aj i 'Tit-Bits. - >j The Only VoMlbttltT. , He?"Nothing could ever' comc between us, could It, dear:" , l'\ She?"I canTt think of. A single 4 thing, unless I should happen to be*< ,l coine engaged to some other man.^ ."-J ? Harper's! Bazar. i ?i ffij Be nerri bled Mother. ,~|fl "Why is it you do not wear a mug- Sj tnche, lieutenant? Your father', has fnl such a heavy growth of beard." '' ' ' ? "Yes, my dear, but wit? regpect to -* whiskers I am more like my mothep , 9 than my father."?Soridags-Nisse. ^ "?fB Well Supplied. ".Tnlin." shf> said. "I must bnvf> A!-/ 23 cyclopaedia." "Thunderation!" exclaimed Mr. Par- .jtjfl venu. "You've got a bicycle and a'v, .'3 motocycle now. What do you want of any more of those cycie things :"- j Getting the Necewarr Information* ^ jM 3Irs. Harduppe?"The butcher 'lg.fjoutside, and says he won't leave until ? he knows the color of your money.^/^E Harduppe?"Oh, certainly. Tell bixa'llH I'm glad to accommodate him, anft'-jarai that's it's an invisible green." , J Counter Forces. S. The Palmist?"This line in yQUMjH hand indicates that you have a very^H brilliant future before you." :9Hj Simkins?"Is that so?" The Palmist?"Yes, but thifc othef^M line indicates that you are too sloti^H ever to catch up with it." Too Much' Naval Etiquette. 'The navy is out of powder again*, 'flj I Mi' Sfippptrtpv/' ,'.oH "Impossible! What's become of thd supply?" "The warships used it up, sir, swapping salutes for their commanders.'* ,'ja ?Cleveland Plain Dealer. Good Alarm Clock. Employer?"I congratulate you on /Jj that new baby of yours, Hlggins." M Higgins?"Thank you, sir." J-jB Employer?"And I have no doubt ;:;jg that hereafter you will be waked early enough mornings to get to tbe ^W office every day on time."?SomerviUft Journal. - i A Good Scheme. i Tourist "Do those scarecrows savo your crops?" A Farmer --"They work first rate. jfl see, every tramp that comes along;-jjff crosses the fields to see if th' clothes is wu'th stealin', w'ch they ain't, that scares th' crows awav :*m York Weekly. " Bad Place to Die In. Osmond?"My wife has turned ouP <%m drim-Inff rnnm into n 'flpil.' " &m> Desmond?"Well, that's all right; Jffij Osmond?"I don't know; If I ehoald.^fl die I'd lnite awfully to be laid der a red and yellow Jap umbrella."- Tl ?Indianapolis Journal. He Learned tlie ficaRon. ,^H| "Yes," mused the Hashfed Philosfr* pher. "a clock-stocking is so called be-^Nj cause " ' The Pert Clerk bent eagerly for*HH "Because," went en the first speak- BH er. "becayse it always strikes one."^M -Syracuse Herald. ""** Optional. ^ "How long can you stay under wa? 9 terV" asked the curious person. 1 "Permanently. If I choose," replied ;^ the professional diver, who had an- a swered the question several hundred 9 times before. "But I prefer to come jH to the surface every once in a whilo M to breath."?Chicago Tribune, ^5 "You know." said Senator Sorghum, ? reprovingly, "I told j-ou that what I H wanted from you was a good breezy f speech." "Well." answered the professional Jja orator, "I thought that was what I ^ gave you. Nearly everybody who heard .9 it said my arguments were only | wind." " . Tha Savape Bachelor. I "It is a woman's privilege \o chmrJ - ? iter mind." said the Sweet .Youvj . 1 Thing. f. 9 "From what I know of the ciihcr *3 a is her duty," said the Savago Baen3? J lor. and the glare lie got from' the a newly married boarders kept him 'or M ijood humor all the "test of the day* W ?Indianapolis Press. * mk