The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, May 13, 1896, Image 1
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The Abbeville Press and Banner, j
BY HUGH WILSON. ABBEVILLE, S. C., WEDNESDAY, MAY 13, 1896. ESTABLISHED 1844 |
I
Work For Girls.
In these days, when everylhtng is
organized and classified, we hear a ii
great deal about brain work, hand
work, heart work, man's work, n
woman's work. When one who lives n
a secluded life goes out into the world, a
perhaps the strongest impression is of 1
doing, doing, doing. This is (juite w
right. There is much work to b?? done! ii
anil r trust eat*h of vou may ''lend alb;
hand." " Id,
l>ut there are two kinds of work sojlc
distinctively feminine it is worth while |
to talk of them a little bit bef< -e we,
say anything of the so-called widerI
spheres. Sine; the first home was set j
up they have been necessary, and it is
safe to say their mission will not lie1
ended so long as there are homes <>>i I,j j
earth. Whatever a woman may dojni
outside, housework anil needlework!
will be necessary occupations. There-m,
fore, my girls, it is scarcely extrava-1 ,.f
gant to say, if you expect to lead hap->lf,
py, useful lives, you must know howjj,,
to do these. Such knowledge is tlie:.tv
oil which smooths all friction in the j ||a
domestic machinery. nr
To many of you it is no new thing Lj,
to do housework. In our free land jn
where there are few class distinctions, Lj,
many families by no means poor keep jn
no domestics. The work is divided
between mother and daughters, per- r
haps with a weekly visit from the W(
"Madonna of the Tubs." (Jirls in such Cj1
homes j)o Dot envy more idle sisters, aj
but think now, as you surefy will
farther on, what a beautiful education jn
it is. Ht
I well know some will say, "We ?
have servants; there is 110 need for me t|J
to work"; and think, if you <lo not
say it, "It is beneath me." Now, I
have, a great deal of patience with such i |
things, because in girls like you whoLj
really wish to be sensible, they only jj(
Show* immaturity ; you will think dit- jjt
ferently by and by. All your short ca
lives you have felt no jar in the household.
Every day breakfast aud dinner .
and supper have followed each other j
in endless round as unconsciously to
you as if the Irish fairies below stairs
had been under a magician's wand;
and so they have?the magician's name I
is "Mother." Let long-continued absence
or illness lay her aside, and you j
will see the difference. Because you |
will not always have her?some day j
you may have your own home; some
day the happiness of that home will "0
> ? a..., !.? ^..^Jai
UejieiKX Oil J'lJU , S1/IUC wuj tut imiiv.-j
may fit without u mouth's notice?hecause
of these things, which most like- at
ly will come, get ready tor them now. tli
Learn now, so, if need be, you can bid 811
defiance to the future Hridget, and to
bold peacefully on your own way, ,n
secure in knowing "how to brew": M'1
and never, never thiuk such knowl-r>J'
edne beneath a gentle-woman. I
I doubt not the word needlework ru
seems more agreeable to you>;as ambi- "r
tfons to learn "Kensington" rise with- a [
in you. liut I use it in its larger
sense?any work done with the needle. ,lr
In these days of sewing machines 1 *
fear my girls may not know much ol f
it, except as embroidery. Yet I wish
you might know how to cut, and make
and mend. There used to be a fine art
in mending. Pieces of table linen, ...
-i i. u,.,.,, 4i(U1M; ili
aiLLLUSL UCI1 IliWIll^, tiu?c wnn: ,. ??? .. jjj
from my grandmother?the little worn
places cut out round, and filled in w i;h
the finest lace stitch. There are real fa
laces mended so beautifully as to en- th
liance their value. It is not very long,
either, since J heard a father tell his a)
daughter that she should have a rin? p,
when she could make a loaf of bread Wi
and a shirt.
In "The Marble Fawn," Hawntborne r()
has an exquisite passage on needle- .
work. It is too long to quote entire, ?
but let me give one sentence : "Me- 1
thinks it is a token of healthy and
gentle characteristics, when women of r*'
of high thoughts and accomplis- SP
inents love to sew ; especially as they
are never more at home with theii
own hearts than when m> occupied." tj,
I ckn tell you, girls, many a man Vv
envies us the privilege. Is he ill or 0)
weary in mind??no light, pretty work ta
may grow beneath his lingers, and (.|,
charm dull care away. I knew one sa
un/ih mnn nnr-p hrokfMl dnwil bv bllsi
uess cares, he could not sleep, he could .?
not read ; the physicians were ut fault .(
As a la^t resource he learned needle- t.
work, and actually wrought a beauti- u
fill emhrordery for his wife's gown, a
and saved his own life as the result.
Turn now to the last chapter of Pro- ,,,
verbs; read on from the tenth verse,
and see if you don't find something
about the women's work there. l'er- tli
haps you have tried to pick out birth- "'J
day versus from this chapter. Let, me ta
tell you a secret?mine is the thirteenth; tr
don't you think it is a good one, and tli
do you wonder 1 like to write about ui
work. sa
to
Ky Wlmt Kislit. Ul
We hear much of the divine l ight of 1(1
kings, but it remains to be proved by w
what right, far from divine, some people
make speeches to which others e\
dare not give utterance? Hy what tl
ngUL uues juur nciguum ciiiii-im1 uie||)i
management of your fiou.se, your fami-! d<
ly, hucI eveu of yourself when you nev- ti<
?-r think of interfering with her affairs? tl
Why should she tell you that your w
dress is too short, your hat unbecora- w
ing, your hair roughened by the wind, I tu
when you keep thoughts uncotiipli- st
mentary to her personal apperance to w
yourself? Why should she be allowed al
to give vent, unchallenged, to censure tl
and impertinence, one-fifth of which,
if uttered by yourself, would condemn
you in the eyes of all your acquaint- j
taures and unmannerly and under- ((
bred? And if your officious friend ...
believes she has the right to say what .
she pleases, who gives it to her? (<
Certainly not her long-suffering L
victim ; who writes under the sharp V1
Jasti of the privileged tongue. Whatso- .'
ever right the disagreeably outspoken .
wiimnn tins and hv wlmnisnpver it bus .
been bestowed, it is time that a Society
for tlie Protection of Long-sutlering
Humanity deprived her of the "right," *
I w hich is nothing less than a "wrong."
n
ci
If we are leaning on love we are not
1 ' restless. "
O
It is easy to stumble over the small- a
est sins of people we ditdike. i<.
Honest poverty is no disgrace, but r
jiving beyond one's means is.
People seldom improve when they f<
have no model but themselves to copy tl
f ter. n
Which Will Y?ti Tilkc ?
A writer relates a touching episode
1 every-day life as follows :
"Knterioij the office of a well-known
lerehant, I lifted my eyes and found j
lyself confronted with (he hrighestj
nd most thrilling temperance lecture
ever steered myself against in the J
'hole course ?>f my li'V. It was an
iscription marked with a pen on the
tick of a postal card, nailed to the
esk. The inscription read as fol?ws:
WHICH 7
win-;01: wuisici-:v?
Tin-: i:ai:ks <?k tin: rotti.ks?
IIOMK Olt 111:1.1. V
"Where did you get thai, and what
id you nail it there lor?' I asked the
erchant.
'I wrote that mysidf ami nailed it up
iere,' was ihe reply, 'and 1 will tell
>u the story of that card. Some time
I found myself falling intoa drinUtr
hahit. I would run out once in
vhile with a visiting customer, or at
e invitation of the traveling man,
any slight excuse, f soon found
at my business faculties were becorng
dulled, that my stomach was coiimally
out of sorts, my appetite fail<;,
and a constant craving for alholic
stimulants becoming dominant,
saw tears in the eyes of my wife,
under depicted on the faces of the
lildren. and then I took a long look
lead. One day I sat down at this
sk, and half unconsciously wrote the
scription on that card. On looking
it upon its completion, its awful relation
burst upon me like a flush. I
died it up there, and read it over
any, many times that afternoon.
r?4*|- I u'niit linnm cvtVuip n ml T
tve not touched a drop of intoxicaig
liquor since. You see how starti?r
is its alliteration. Now T have no
erary proclivities, and I regard that
rd as an inspiration. Itspeaksout
ree solemn warnings every time I
:>k at it. The first is a voice from the
tar, the second from the cradle, and
e third and the last from?
lfere my friend's earnestness deeped
ifto a solemn shaking of the head,
id with that he resumed liis work.
IIimv to Dry Wet Shoes.
The average woman considers her
>ots spoiled when once they are wet,
ul usually they are still", uncomfortae
and shapeless. If they are new,
id her psir.-e is limited, she can't
row them aside, and consequently
(let's tortures, both to her pride and
her feet. Hut with a little care she
ay prevent much of the discomfort,
amove the wet shoes as soou as possi
e, wipe olFall the mud, then with a
t of cotton flannel wet iu kerosene
b them well; when they are partially
y repeat the treatment. Put them iu
moderately warm place to dry slowly
id thoroughly.. When they are quite
y rub again with the cloth damp
ith kerosene, and apply the dressing
?ey will be soft and flexible, and but
tie affected by their rain bath.
Success does not consist in never
aking blunders, but in never making
e same one a second time.
Advice is like snow ; the softer it
lis, the longer it dwells upon, aud
e deeper it sinks into, the mud.
Adversity is sometimes hard upon
nan ; but for one man who can stand
osperity, there are a hundred that
ill stand adversity.
There is no to-morrow ; though be!*t*
din' f si tlu? U(\
retches, we always fail to o'ertake it,
isten as we may.
Many a household is destroyed by the
:?t of sudden luxuries. When false
lemlors and dazzling vulgarities sit
the fireside, l'eaci takes her llight.
In climbing a mountain we some"
rues come to dangerous places over'
hich we can safely tind our way only
i our knees. In climbing the mounin
of life we often meet with obstaes
which we must pass over in the
me way.
An hone?t man does not make pub3
proclamation of his honesty, neither
>es a christian iind it uecessary to be
ways talking about his piety. But
) honest man will talk like an honest
an, and there is no good reason why
Christian may not always talk like a
liristiau.
So the lesson is that we should keep
ie days fenced ofl', each fine by itself.
Do to-day's duty, tight to-day's tcmption,
aud do not weaken and disact
yourself by looking forward to
lings you cannot see, and could not
iderstand if you saw them.*' \ou
,y, "I coul'l get through with to-day,
it this must go on to-morrow and
-morrow." Vet you may not have
ly to-morrow ; certainly you have no
-morrow to-day. When the morrow
lines it will bring its own strength.
Philips Brooks says : ''By the side of
erv young man just entering life
lere stands the Christ, saying; "He
jre, he wise, be strong, be indcpeniiit;
rejoice in me and my appreciaon.
Serve the world, but do not be
ie servant of the world. Make the
orld your servant by helping the
orld in every way in which you cau
linister to its life. He brave, be
rong, be manly by strength." These
olds coming from this great man
e full of deepest meaning and woriy
of our sincere consideration.
One reason men overestimate them Ivea
and underestimate their neigh[>rs
is that they give themselves credit
>r all their good desires and purposes,
hey know of the good they wish were
line, and they take to themselves
edit for wishing it. Hut they cannot j
e the desires and purposes of their
eiglibors ; but only their deeds, and J
ence this credit fails. Judging
lemseives ny tneir uesiiesanu otners
y their deeds, men think of ihemselv<
more highly and of their neighbors
iss highly than they ought to think.
A contemporary makes the stati-lent
that tlie greatest corporation on
irtli is tlie Loudon and North western
Railway Company, of England. It
as a capital of $5!).j,0()(J and a revenuei
f $(i,")UU an hour; lias I',300 engines,
ml employs GO,(ton men. Every thing!
> made by the company?bridges, en-l
ines, rails, carriages, wagons, and an
inumerable lot of other things; even |
lie coal scuttles and wooden limbs
>r the injured of its stall'. Repairs to
he permanent way cost $130,000 a;
aonth.
Contiii! itiicc in \Vell?I>oinir.
i Sophy hud read about a great and
good woman who had given so much
money to build an orphan asylum.
"That is what I will do when I yrowup,"
she said, and she was so gratified
by her prospective generosity that you
would think she has had already given
great sums in charily ! She eveu told
her Sunday-school leacher what great
things she proposed to do.
Her teacher did not seem to be as
happy over this announcement as Sophy
had expected.
"You may never be able to build an
asylum." she said, "but there are little
things day by day which you might
do."
4.1 i i i..v. r- L* 1 ?
rti>jiii.y wfiu iiuiuc iruiii oiuiua).school
feeling disappointed.
One day she heard her mother say
that poor old Hannah who lived in a
narrow alley, not far down town,
was almost blind, and her son, who
lived with her, earned for her but aj
very scanty support.
It was on her way home from school
that Sophy thought of this?she would
go and see blind Hannah.
She found the poor old woman sitting
near the lire, very much bent
down, and looking very sad. She
seemed surprised to hear the young
gild's voice near her. Sophy began by
asking if she would like to have some
one read aloud to her. Yes, indeed,
she would, but she had no books nor
papers in her room, nor even a Bible.
Sophy was prepared for such an emer- :
seucy; she had brought something to
read. For nearly an hour she read
aloud, and Hannah listened eagerly.
What a treat it was. She had not
spent such a happy hour since she had
become blind. Sophy was delighted ; ,
she would come again. This was but
the beginning of a happy and useful
winter. Day after day Sophy went to ,
ir.. ,u ....<1
XlClUIIUll iiUU UVV'iUIJC 1UWIC illill
more interested in the poor old friend.
Beside reading for her, she often help- j
e?l her in other ways. She brought her ,
warm clothing, tidied up her room. |
and often brought her a plate of hot j
food.
One day her Sunday-school teacher j
met her on the street, aud said to her,
'Sophy, I am glad to hear you have
begun to build your orphan asylum !" j
Sophy was puzzled.
"You are doing the good you can do, '
rather than drearuiug of that which
you could not. You are doing poor
Hannah so much good, and is not that
better than dreaming of impossible ,
things?" Sophy next interested the (
school-girls iu Hannah, and they raised (
a little sum among themselves to make ,
her more comfortable. She now had ,
good food, warm clothing, aud coal for ,
her fire. I
The children took turns in reading {
an hour at a time to the poor blind |
woman ; and before she died, she said |
to the minister, "My life has been so j
much happier since those dear ehil- ,
tlren came to take care of me."
It did not cost them mueh, but they
did what they could, and that is all
God asks of any of us.
Sophy's Sunday-school teacher said
to her ong day, "I think that the great '
and good woman who built the orphan
asylum must have begun her work by
doing all she could for others while
she was a young girl, for the constantly
doing of small things leads us in
time to do greater things.
Only Five Minute*.
"You have been stopping on the way,
Tom," said a poor widow to her son, as
he gave her the article he had been
sent for. "Why don't you come ,
straight home when you see my time .
is so precious ?" ,
,lI did so, mother, until I met Char- ,
lie Adams," he replied ; "and then I
stayed only live minutes, to show him
my new knife."
"Only five minutes," repeated the |
widow, "means a great deal when you ;
come ti reckon them all up."
Tom I'rice looked at his mother as if
he had uot understood her.
"Just reach down that slate," added
the widow, "and then you'll see what
I mean."
Tom had a slate on his knees in a
moment.
"What am I to put down, mother ?"
"Well, begin with live, and then tell
me how many minutes you waste in a
day."
Tom wrote the figures, scratched his
head, and looked into the lire.
"Would thirty be too many ?" asked ,
his mother.
Tom did not think so. ,
"Very well," continued Mrs. Price, .
"there "are three hundred and sixtylive
days in a year, and half an houri
for each day gives a total of hundred ,
and eighty-two and a half hours, or ,
upwards of fifteen duys of twelve hours
each, lost in twelve months."
Tom price put his pencil between his
lips and started at the sum before ,
him.
"Suppose you put down two hours
for each day instead of thirty minutes."
added bis mother, "that will show <
a loss of more than sixty days in .
the year."
Torn l'rice was a sharp lad, and soon 1
proved the truth of the widow's statement.
"So it does, mother," he said.
"Hut when I send you for anything
I want, and you stay loitering in the <
street, my time has to be reckoned in |
as well as yours, hasn't it?"
Of course Tom couldn't deny that, (
"Then try to remember," said the (
widow, "what a serious loss even live
minutes is to me. You know, my hoy,
how very hard I have to work to pay '
my rent, buy bread, and keep you i
at school, so you should endeavor to
help rather than to .hinder your :
mother."
"I'll run all the way the next time I
go," said Tom. <
"No, no, I don't want you to do
that. I only want you to bear in mind
that our liven are made up of those
minutes, and that we cannot allbrd
to throw them away Just as we please."
Like a sensible little fellow, Tom '
I'riee took his mother's lesson to heart,
and it was a long, long time before
he was again heard to use the words,
"only live minutes."
For a nice nol>fov straw or felt hat cull on
Aug. \V. Smllli.
Knve money and ?et the newest and most
Ktyii>li suit l>y buying yours ol Cohen.
Now for a nentle swing hi the evening
! bree/.es, get a hummock from A. H. Morse,
1 and you can enjoy lile, all sorts of hammocks
rom, t"i cent up, also hooks and spreaders.
Kxtraets from the I?ohI?1
Si:c. 557. Notice will be given whe
ii newspaper or periodical is uncalh
for, or refused, or wheu the sub9crib
change* ii is address without notify in
I he publisher, or having his ma
forwarded, upon a blank furnished fi
that purpose, which can be procun
by application to the First Assistai
Postmaster General, Division of Po
Ollice Supplies. If the first notice I
disregarded, u second may be sen
calling attention also to the fact of pr
vious notice. The notice is to be give
to publishers 111 Canada and Mexico i
well as tlxis country. Second?If
post master should cause loss to a pu
lisher because of a failure to compi
with a plain provision, of law, h
liability would tiave to be determine
by the court* and not by the Po
Office Department. Third.?Pos
masters should make a record, f<
their own protection, when a publish'
is notified of the non-delivery of h
paper to a subscriber. This recoi
should show the name of the public
lion, city or town in which it is pu
lished, name of t>he subscriber an
the date when the notice was sent,
the first notification is disregarded,
second one should be sent and a recoj
alfo made of it,
Sec. 558. After notification hi
been given, as required in the previoi
section the postmaster will hold tl
refused matter for thirty days, afti
which the same, aud all copies su
sequently arriving, should be place
with the waste paper.
"How to C'ook it
A Uooa many liusbanus are uueri
spoiled by mismanagement. Son
women go about as if their husbanc
were balloons, and blow them u]
Others keep them constantly in h<
water; others let them freeze t
iudifl'ereuce and carelessness. Son;
keep them in a stew by irritating wai
md words. Others roast them. Son
keep them in picket all their lives,
cannot be supposed that any husban
will be tender and good if managed i
this way, but they are really delicioi
when properly treated. In selectin
your husband, do not go to market f<
liim, as they are always brought 1
your door. It is far better to ha\
none, unless you will patiently lear
how to govern him.
See that the liuen in which yc
wrap him is prityerly washed an
mended, with the required numbi
of buttons and strings tightly sewe
:>n. Tie him in the kettle by a stron
silk cord called 'comfort,' as the on
called 'duty' is apt to be weak.- The
ire apt to fall out of the kettle, an
be burned and crusty on the edge
since, like crabs aud oysters, j-ou ha\
to cook them while alive. If he spu
ter and fusses, do not be anxioussome
husbands do this uutil the
ire called done. Add a little sugt
iu the form of what the confectionei
call kisses, but no vinegar or pepp<
3ii any account. A little spice improi
-S them, but it must be used wit
judgment. Do not stick any shar
instrument into him to see if he
tendpr or becoming so. Stir hli
gently, 'watching the while lest t
idhere to the kettle, and so becotr
useless. You cannot fail to kno
when he is done. If this treatment
ulosely followed you will find hit
[ill that is desirable; but do not t
careless with him and keep hit
in a cool place.
Itccipe For Curing Hhiiih.
E. M. Todd of Virginia, whos
cured hams have given his produ<
x reputation thai sells them wherev<
offered, gives the following descriptio
of his method of curing :
1. The hams are packed in a larj;
tray of fine Liverpool (-all, then tli
Hesh surface is sprinkled with fineb
ground crude saltpeter until the han:
are as white as though covered by
moderate frost?or say use three (
four pounds of the powdered saltpet<
to the thousand pounds of green ham
i'. After applying the saltpete
oil 11 w i f 11 t\\U T.iuomAJ
fine salt, covering weli the entire su
face. Now pack the hams in bull
but not in piles more than three fet
high. In ordinary weather the han
should remain thus for three days.
3. Then break bulk and resalt wit
fine salt. The hams thus salted an
resulted should now remain in salt i
bulk one day for eacli anil every pouu
?ach hams weighs?that is a ten poun
ham should remain ten days, and i
such proportion of time for larger an
smaller size.
4. Next you wash with tepid wat<
until the hams are thoroughly cleai
*ed and after partially drying rub th
entire surface with finely-ground blae
pepper.
5. Now the hams should be huu
in tiie smokehouse, and this importan
operation begun the smoking shoul
be very gradually and slowly dom
lasting thirty to forty days.
(5. After the hams are cured an
smoked they should be repeppered I
i^uard against vermin and then hagge<
These hams improve with age, and ill
Todd hams are in perfection when on
year old.
The man who forfeits his self r?
q>ect loses the best friend that he evt
tiad in this world.
Knvy is blind, and knows nothin
ixcept to depreciate the excellencit
Df others.
Vou need not be shocked at tli
bad conduct of other people unle:
your own is blameless.
There is no way of making a pernn
nent success in this world without gn
ing an honest equivalent for it.
Every character has an in war
spring ; let Christ be it. Every actio
has a key tone ; let Christ see it.
When the air is lllled with suu-ligli
there is no opportunity for the deeds <
darktiess. When the soul lias taste
of the bread of life, it cannot hungt
for the stones of the wilderness. Whe
Cod is all to us, the world is nothing
T I..V11A ?-># ? ?w1 lnif?lr nu if tfiuSr uin
were too great to be forgiven, or thei
case too bad to be cured. Jesus is a
Advocate who never lost a cause,
Physician who never lost a patient.
When a lie once gets into the work
it i* astonishing bow hard it is to get;
out. You may beat it about the hea
until it seems to have given up tb
ghost, and then, the next day, meet i
on the street as healthy as ever.
THE LIMEKILN CLUB. <
in v
;d '
er PROFESSOR BUMBO JONES LECTURES
ON "WHY AR' DIS THUS?" ! "V
lil
or I e
lfi It Was a Great Lecture and Something ;
I 6
[it Dropped and Brother Gardner Even | ^
St Hinted That They Had Gotten Hold of j g
the Wrong Man. j
t, ! 1
e- When the sound of the triangle had *
:n called the meeting to order, Brother ^
Gardner arose and said that Professor ?
b- Bumbo Jones, the colored Henry Clay j
ly of the south, was waiting to deliver a
is lecture before the club on "Why Ar' p
:t* Dis Thus?" There was no telling how p
it would pan out, but he thought the c
' ~ club might chance it, and therefore or- 0
dered the reception committee to show i
j8 the gentleman in. Samuel Shin, who r
ti has had a cold in the head for the last g
a- 11 years, was relegated to the back seats, y
b- and the hall had just grown quiet when (
|ll the Clayfnl lecturer was introduced in
^ one time and three motions. Like ali
great philosophers, his shoes "were down
at the heel, his elbows frayed, his knees d
ag out of true, and his general appearance
JS proved a carelessness on his part as to
ie whether he got np right end first or not u
sr in the morning. He was received with
b- enthusiastic applause, during which v
'd Deacon Baker managed to give Elder
Toots a vigorous kick and lay it to accident.
As he bowed his applause two but- p
tons were heard to strike the wall behind
him, and his collar made a detery
mined effort to rise above his ears. o
j8 "Myfr'en's," began the honorable in y
p a voice rich with anticipation of the comjt
ing ohicken season, "we go to bed at o
>y night. If we hev no company, we go to
ie bed 'long 'bout half past 9 o'clock. If we
fs hev a soiree on hand, it may be two t
,e hours later. If I ax you what you go to
^ bed fur, you answer, to sleep. What do a
you sleep fur? You reply dat it is bekase e
natur' intended you to. Yes, but why
,g did she? You can't tell. You tumble
>r into bed an lay dar on your backs an
to snooze an dream of de lucky numbers in
re policy, an wheu mawnin comes you fall v
n out an kick de dog an jaw de chillen an n
wish you was rich an didn't hev to go
"j to work. [Yells of applause.] Natur'
meant dat you should lie down in sleep y
to give de body a rest, to let all de mus?
cles relax, de nerves grow quiet, de f<
ie brain cease its tremendous efforts fur
ty awhile. My world renowned tonic, a
d which kin be bad in do anteroom after
s, dis meetin adjourns at 2 bits a bottle,
re ebery bottle warranted to hold half a
pint, will bring about dis happy result, p
? No cure, no pay."
^ The orator paused here to imbibe a
<8 glass of water, and a puzzled look crept
;r into Brother Gardner's face. He was g
/. observed to make a signal to Qiveadam
h Jones, and that individual nodded, as if K
p he understood it.
is "We hev de backache,'' continued the tl
13 orator, "de backache, de colio, pains in
ie de chist, fits of melancholy, bad dreams,
^ sudden desiah to jump off de tower of
jg de city hall. We hev sich things, an we ^
n nebber stop to inquar de reason. We a
)e jist go right 'longsufferin, layin our sad g
d condishun to Jay Gould, Vanderbilt an f'
de Standard Oil company an nebber o
supposin dar is a sartin an cheap cure
richt at hand. [Sensation. 1 Myfr'en's, i(
I has de proud satisfaction to tell you
s? dut I am de inventor, proprietor an sole si
' agent on dis globe fur de'Wellington "
'n Cholera Preventative an Lightnin Co'n e;
Remover,' an arter dis meetin is ober d
;e my remedy kin be had by any of de
ie gemlen present at de usual price of 2 d
/ bits a box, warranted purely vegetable f<
?s or money refunded." [High old ap- t]
a plause. ] 81
" As the speaker stopped to take anoth- P
g er pint of water, there was a broad grin *
r' on almost every face, and this was in- b
,j creased by the uneasy movements of
r. Brother Gardner. It was plain to be seen
that he had been taken in and done for
it again and that he was arranging some ri
i" sort of programme with Giveadam ^
Jones, who has long hold the position of ^
1 Bogardus kicker to the club.
^ "My fr'en's," pathetically continued a
(1 the honorable, after the water had been
,1 put away behind his nankeen vest, "you
n is walkin along de street, an am sud- &
d denly tooken wid a orick in de back, an ^
can't go on down to de bank an draw ^
f out $r>0. You git up in de mawnin feel- n
' in slnmpy. You don't keer 2 cents 0
? whether you hev quail on toa6t or turkey
on sweet cake for breakfast. You wake
up in de night wid a cole sweat startin
, j out, a wiolent beatin of de heart, an a a
a fflar in vonr soul dafc a hand of anarchists
VI ? - mf
e, is hidden under de bed to take your life.
On sartin occashuns you sot down wid
d a piece of chalk an a shingle to figgerup
;o how much a y'ar it will cost you to rent
' 40 pos'office boxes at $4 each. You is I
stuck. De figgers dance away from you. j
Your eyes blur au you jump up in 18]
alarm if de dog howls in de back yard. ; j,
You go right along jist de same, howe
ever, nebber stoppin to inquar into de
ir natural causes, an de fust thing you Ul
know your friends am gathered around
g your bedstead to see you expire. [Deoided
sensation all over the hall. ] My
fr'en's, it gives me doutmos'pleasure to y
ie be able to inform you on dis auriferous b
'S occasion dat I am do solo owner of what
is called 'Do Wellington Curo All Plas- lc
ter,' which I warrant to be composed of h
/m 10 different roots au de best Norf Carolina
tar. Deee plasters sell at 20 cents
each, or 6ix for a dollah, and de presiu
dent of dis United States had one on de
small of his back when he entered de
t, White House fur de fust time. Arter dis
>1 meetin is ambuscaded I shall be moas'
d happy to see you all in de anteroom, an
r r,_
r" At this point Giveadam Jones inter- j ,
'* rupted the speaker to say that a man !
Is wanted to see him outside on very im- ^
Ir portant business.
" "Exactly," replied the honorable, j
'My Ir'en's, I will retiamur a moment i
. an ascertain his business. My address ;
^ is only half concluded. "
j He retired in good order, smiling and !
e bowing as he passed down the aisle, but U'
it he never came back. Two minutes lator
his voice was heard saying: h
"Boy, be keerful whar you put dat hi
ut of yours. I doaii' 'low nobody to fool m
vid me."
ADd a little later:
"I nebber skipped a town yit, an I j
fon't begin now."
Then Paradise hall jarred and vibrat- |
d, and the plaster fell iu spots, and the ; /)
tove door swung wide open. Something , JJ
mmped on the stairs and fell "kerquash"
into the alley, followed by a
acket as if a dray horse was galloping
or his life. In three or four minutes
Jiveadam Jones returned, the right leg
f his trousers split to the knee and his
reatb coming hard, and as he sat down
IrAfViow ornco ntirl aaiH
"My fr'en's, de difference between a
ihilosopher an a fakir i6 sometimes so qr
io\vcrful fiue dat de best of men are de- J"
eived. It's my opinyon dat we got hold
if do wroDg animal, but dere's no great
iarm dun. I reckon he won't bodder .us ^
10 more, an .perhaps he has left us a few cm
[rains of wheat among de chaff. We J
vill now annunciate homewards."?M. ?v<
Juad in Detroit Free Press. ?^.(
Ctll
Before and After. fin
He?I came- here tonight with the ^
listinct idea of proposing to you. "n
She?I am simply delighted. "u
He (eagerly)?Then you will accept wi
_ _ o Mil
oe. tin
She?I didn't say so, did I? I said I
?as delighted. cjt
He?But? pu
She (smiling)?But you haven't pro- ,v0?
iosed yet. Don't forget that. ti>
He?What do you expect me to do? [?J
She?Something original. I am tired as
f all the old ways. One gets that way,
ou know. lit
He?I might begin with a statement
f my assets and liabilities. loi
CJho TV*of ia T7QVTT pirr?nmcni?iV?Ofl
UUb XUMW iO V4iVMUJUVl*WVU?
Hg?True. Suppose I should ask you sai
o be mine?
She?Worse and worse. I can't imgine
anything more commonplace. Beides,
I wouldn't be jours.
He?Then you refuse me?
She?You haven't proposed yet.
He?But you have anticipated me.
She?Not at all. Even if I married I W
rouldn't agree to be yours?that is, f
ot altogether.
He?One half?
She?You forget you haven't proposed
et. .
He?And everything I've Baid goes ^
Dr naught? Ur
Sbo (somewhat uncertain)?Why, of (
ourso. . He?Then
I've changed my mind.
She?About what? I
He (taking her hand)?About pro- "
osing, of course.
CUo Tlion whaf ora vfin frftlTlff frt flfl? ft
He?Kiss you. (j
She?What, sir, before we are enaged?
He (suiting the action to the word)? .
To. Afterward. G
She?You horrid, mean, despicable an
ling!?Truth. 1-0
Ruatic Wit.
In the town of B , Conn., there iaa
actory where yarn is made. A stranger
pproaching the town one day in a bug- *
y pulled up his horse and accosted a _
inner who was digging potatoes on the
ther side of the fence. T
"Can you tell me where the yarn mill
3?" inquired the stranger.
"Certainly," was the reply. "Keep
traight on till you come to the drinkig
fountain. Right opposite is a wooda
block with three doors. The middle
oor is the one you want."
"Thank you, "said the stranger and ^
rove on. In due time he came to the
auntain and sought the middle door of
ae wooden block, and it led him up
i? m - D xf
cairs to me omce 01 me juuux uewapoer.
The other yarn factory, the one for 1
rhich he was looking, lay half a mile all
eyond.?Youth's Companion.
A Man of Honor.
The saloon door flew open, and the
agged gontleman struck tho sidewalk
rith suddenness and all of his person :
rom his heels to his hat. ?
"Well, what are you going to do
bout it?" asked the facetious passerby.
"Do? Do, sir? Nothing. Do you
jink I would imbrue my hands in the I
lood of a common whisky seller's hire- I
ur? If he were only a gentleman"? 1
.nd the ragged gentleman looked battle,
rnrder and sudden death.?Iudianaplis
Journal. ^
The Power of the Eye. (0,
Blazley?I was coming down town in ou^
car this morning, and the conductor tlo
ime along and looked at me as if I (
adn't paid my faro. i
Bizley?What did you do? jan
Blazley?I looked at him as if I had. j pil
-Roxbury Gazette. I
l Idi
Why Not? I
Nell?Charlie Softleigh is a perfect J
iave to that Smith girl. He ia tied to
er apron strings. i
Belle?Well, why shouldn't a girl J J.
ave several strings to her beau??Phil-1
Delphi a Record.
A Foxy Man.
Mrs. Hicks?I'd like to know what
ou could have to say to that disreputa- c
le looking dog catcher. I
Hicks?I told him if your poodle got v
ist to come around and I would give ?
im a dollar.?Truth. J
}
With IlluatratioDi) to Follow. ^
V
He?A bore like a microbe? I give it *>
i3L
P. i>.
"Because it takes a long time to freeze
im out, but you can easily make it too ;!
nt for him."?Life. sw
in lis put 11
in the Right Track. I
COHEN |
SELEADEE OF LOW PRICES 11
WILL DO IT. V
Ye don't expect any man to bay here who
i (Jo better anywhere else, but he'll have a ! '.*
It less hunt. We put our whole heart Into Hfl
itbes? buying and selling. We employ
ery talent, prolit by experience, strive for
ory perfection, and have got the art down
a nicety. While some are shouting how H
eap they've got, we want to tell you how ,
e we've got. Anybody can sell cheap
unes?meres no icoack about that. We've
i suits as low as So,"tout at 87.50.810,818 to815
d$20, Is where expertness counts, clever- K9
rh Is taxed, where competition Is declared KB'-J
t. of the race, where Its "neck and neok" ggji
th the best of custom tailoring. And Just J
ink of what a saving It Is. A little more
nn is asked for the cheap truck, but a great
al less th tin the tailors demand?about half.
hat worth have words when everybody
ilms the largest stock ? What weight have
bllsbed prices unless you can prove the
lues? You've got a standing Invitation to
>k us over and see If we are not showing
ree times the variety ol suits that Is to be
and anywhere else. You are assured sataction
In every purchase, not the "as good kind,"
but a guarantee that there can be
i belter made. There's no chance of our not
lng able to suit you. Such an Immense
ie must hold everybody size and everydy's
style. Home of the "back-clothiers"
vertlse clothing in any shape as the fashaable
sort, but their Idea Is like their clothes
indent. The styles this season are of the
^derate sort in length, both cutaways and
ck?. This way for the correct style at lowL
prices that can be made for the bent
)tbes.
COHEN,
%
The Clothier and Furnisher.
If ALTER L MILLER, f
Attorney at Law.
Abbeville, S. C.
also represent a number of Investment
mpanies. Loans made on Abbeville or x
eenwood City real estate.
1FFrf!T<! on Wono-o
IME!! CEMENT! : |
OAL AND HULLS!
_ <
AFFNEY and Virginia Lime, Hoffman
I and Portland Cement, celebrated Jelllco
d Blac<smilb Coal, best quality hard coal
d Cotton Seed Hull. All at ROCK BOT?M
prices.
W. J. BRYSON,
Old Depot.
.larcb 31, 1896, tf
k Streams, i
rees, Trash and Bafts
Must be Removed.
?HK ATTENTION OF LAND OWNERS
Is called to Section 1273, which requires
Trees, Trash and Rafts to be removed from
earns of water through their lands during
e mouth of May.
JNO. LYON,
S. A. C.
Hay G, lS9ii.
??
.MUTUAL
BliiUK '
$ 360,000.
17"RITE TO OR CALL ou tbe undersigned
* or to the Director of your Township
' any information you may desire about
r plan of Insurance.
Ve insure your property against destn.on
by ,
FIRS, WINDSTORM OR LltBTM,
d do so cheaper than any Insurance Com
ny In existence.
temember we are prepared to prove to you
it ours Is tbe safest and cheapest plan of
surance known.
R. BLAKE, Jr., Agent,
Abbeville, S. C.
FULLER LYON, Pres.
Abbeville, S. C.
BOARD~DIRECTORS. j
i. M. Anderson Ninety-Six Township.
. M. Major Greet)wood "
W. Sullivan Cokesbury "
V. B. Acker Donnalds "
1. B. Cllnkscales Due West "
L. Haddon Long Cane "
. W. Hcott Stnlthvllle "
I. W. Watson White Hall
. W. Lyon Indian Hill '
apt. John Lyon Cedar Spring "
V. K. Leslie Abbeville "
)r. J. A. Anderson.Diamond Hill "
I. A. Tenneut Lowndesvlile "
l. O. Grant Magnolia "
. T. Horton Calhoun
'. J.Brltt Bordeaux "
Abbeville, S. C.. Feb. IS, lhHfi.
. J. It. Binlct?, Jr., Tieas. K. M. F. a. .v. v.
ear Sir?Please accept our 1 hanks for check
SoOO to cover recent loss of our dwelling* by
>. For cheapness and safety we ebeerlully
ntnend the Farmers Mutual File Assoeian
of Abbeville County to all who desire Inance
on their properly.
EDWARD ROCHE.
K. W. ASHLEY.
'ANTED-AN IDEA of some simple
nii to patent ? Protect your ideas; they may
ng you wealth. Write JOHN WEDDERFHN
?& CO., Patent Attorneys, Washington,
C., for their $1,800 prize offer.
Il>s. tomatoes, *M? cents a dozen, Ail*. W
litli.