The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, December 31, 1890, Image 6
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CARRIERS' TALES.
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Veracious Stories Related by
; the Boys Who Delioer
Your Papers.
By CURTIS DUNHAM. '
(OopyriRht, 1891 All rights reserved.]
. Good Friends, ?who wait our comin' in the
moruin' or at night,
?. And never wait in vain ('cause we believe |
v in startin' right),
You sometimes wonder, don't you, what :
the Carrier Boys will do
When they have famblies to support the ;
' same as some of you?
i iu 'I i ii i j
! nFAT^pj! Ml I ,i
i i/yz . 'xYl \ i !i
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The most of us are growiri' mighty fast, as '
you can tell
By sizin' up our jackets anil our pantaloons
as welL
It's gettin'pretty serious when in a year
or t wo
The Carriers will have families to support
the same as you.
So this New Year we ofTer you our Carriers'
Fairy Tales.
Please buy some extra copies for your
frieuds, 'cause rapid sales
And mod'rate profits suit us best?of cou rse
youll see us through, '
Since we will soon nav?-.frmblies to sup.
port the same as youl
T. HKRE AND WHEN THESE TRUTUKUL TALES
WERE TOLD.
j We call them Fairy Tales,'cause day or
night
We told them hy a dim aud flickering
light
Oown in the darkest corner of the room
Behind the Press; and sometimes in tiie
gloom,
it seemed like little Elves and Gnomes
crept out
To gather what our chat was all about.
And so, forgetting often where we were,
Too interested in some Tale to stir
: ?L JIK '
Or note the flight of time, a sudden clack
And clank of flyinjj wheels would start us
back
To earth, and "Fold your papers!" that
command
Would end the spell and banish fairyland.
Twas there we sat $ud told these Tales,
and when
T)i?? Prf?c? u-.'irmwl to its noisv task, 'twaa
then
?The Carriers' daily toil began, '
j THE SNOWBALLS WERE FROZEN.
Ad Unbiased Tale of the Battle of Simp*
i sou's Field.
This tale was volunteered by one,
As you'll perceive, wbo saw the fun,
And who for reasons, that are plain
Won't care to see the lik& again.
xou nave an oeeu torn
That our warriors bold.
To their extreme concern,
Were forced to yield
On Simpson's Field?
Bnt why you harve yet to learn.
The rival force
Had pursued a course
Very much to be deplored;
And talked so loud
& pn"'
This upstart crowd
They could not be ignored.
So Captain Jim
Surrounded him
With soldiers true and tried,
While Captain Jack
And his rude pack
Responded full of pride.
Their chance looked slim
To Captain Jim,
For they numbered only ten,
While we set out
To put tbetn to root
With a dozen gallant men.
We had our way,
And New Year's day
Was named for the final charge;
Near Simpson's field
The foes were concealed,
And Simpson's field was large.
But larger yet
To our regret,
We found was Simpson's heart;
In his cattle stalls
They stored snowballs,
Which doomed us from the start. j
Oar warriors bold
Behind the fold J.
For sheep were all arrayed,
And knowing naught
ft* 1
ui iuc iuc a uain. piuo,
Were not a whit dismayed.
A frosty night,
To their delight,
Embarrassed us somewhat;
I5nt .1 midday thaw
Dispelled that flaw,
And furnished us with shot.
Oli, wlio can say
That on that day
Otir valor was in doubt?
When blow for blow
With spheres of snow
! We charged them all aboat[
We charged them down
Below the town,
And charged them up again;
In the cattle abeda
They hid their heads,
So fierce the frozen rain.
Then, with a about
For their redoubt
We started on a runTo
learn, alas!
How it came to pass
The fight had just begun 1
Our captain thought
/ The foe was caught
Within that cattle shed;
To storm it well
With shot and shell
At his command we sped.
/
"Have at them, then,
My gallant men I"
Onr leader blithely cried.
"Not shell nor shot
Defends the spot
Where these poltroons now hide!"
As soft as clay
The snow now lay
Beneath the noonday sun:
It made us smile
To think the while
Our foemen they had hone.
But oh t how soon x
We changed our tune
That fateful New Year's dayl
Those frozen balls,"
Stored in the stalls,
Were not at all like play.
Our lesson was bought
With the first onslaught,
For the volley that laid us low,
With painful thumps,
And blue black bumps,
Was a volley of frozen snow.
On Simpson's field .
We were forced to yield,
Our twelve men to their ten;
And now you know
Why this was so.
But lfet them try againl
AB'M LINC'M JONES.
The Diverting Tale of a Small Darky
and a Large Watermelon.
No Carrier quite so small and dark
Has ever made so fine a mark
As this same Ab'm Linc'm Jones.
FTb'r three feet six in heieht. and owns
A route that pays so very well
He dresses like a howling swell.
A single fault his friends bewail,
And you'll observe that in this tale?
The tale of Ab'm Linc'm Jones:
Oh, down by de ribberon thesandy grown',
Wha' de melons grow so big,
Dar's a high bo'd fence built fill aroun'?
But dat don' stop d's nig.
On top ob de fence wha' dey cotch yc' chin
Am spikes dat make yo' smile,
An' de bo'ds so closeskeeters can't git in?
But dat don' stop dis chile.
De gate am locked like de big heu roost
Nex' do' to de cullud chu'ch?
Golly, folks dat's waitin' for to be int'duced
Don't know dis darky muchl
De boss am waitin' wiv de ol' shot gnn,
An' a b'ar trap watch for yo';
De folks dat's spoctiu' to see some fun
Don' know dis chile for sho'.
Yo' nebber kin scar' cullud man dat way,
Dem melons am too sWeeb:
De big b'ar trap an' de gun come to stay?
Nebber min'; dis chile done eat!
An' how he get in, yo' like to know?
Jcs' come erlong wiv me
By de side ob de fence whnr de thick brush
grow?
De boss he nebber see.
Dar's whar yo' kin fin' de tnnnel dat leads
To de watermelon patch;
An' dar yo' kin cat and spit ont de seeds
Till yo' honh do gate unlatch.
Golly, den yo' scoot like a possum up a
tree,
For de boss am after yo'!
Scoot-back fre-w cLa tunnel befo' ho kin-see,
Jes'ju^fas' as yo' kin-got
Right dar am de spot dis chile almos'
Don gib hisself away.
Fa's' time didn't know how long, ob oo'se,
Was bea' for him to stay.
Oh, de stars nebber shine like dat befo'?
> (No moon yo' see dat night)
De watermelons all dead ripe, an' so
Jes' took de bigges' in si^rbt.
Stick de knife in de center an' heah him
crack!
Dis melon couldn't wait no mo',
So jnicy an' red an' de needs so black.
His time hab come for sho'I .
Dig out de middle an' swallow him qnick
An' keep yo' eye on de gate,
So do boss when he come for to make yo'
sick
Be shuab to come too late.
Fa's' half ob de melon done tickle dis
chile ?
Like nebber he tickled befo';
So he tackle de las', keepin watch all de
while, !
For to take de hint to go. ',f
An' jes' as he swallow de las' big bite
An' done spit out de seed,
De boss he see by de' gate wiv a light?
Golly, dat was all he needl
Shp't cut for de tunnel, mos' scar'd to
death,
Oe las' jump am a slide,
j An' got to de fence clean ont ob breath
Wiv all dat melon inside!
i Oh, den what trouble hab struck dis nig?
He couldn't get frew at all!
j To' see de watermelon was ho big
I An' de darky am so smalll
i Rnf-. de boss nebber catch dis chile dat way,
'Case he been dar befo';
! Jes' scoot for de place dat melon lay
As fas' as he kin go,
An' git inside ob de empty skint
(Dat am a fac' indeed;
When de darky scoop dat melon in
He doue spit out de seed!)
j De boss come erlonjc, but nebber kin tell
Somebody done eat his fill,
An' de bigges' watermelon am an empty
shell,
Dis darky keep so stilL
Oh, down by de ribber on de sandy groun'
Whar de melons grow so big,
Dar's a high bo'd fence built all aroun',
But dat don't stop dis nigl
THEY GOT NO SCALP9.
The Harrowing Tale of Five Injnm
Fighters.
The "Ininn Fighter" took the floor,
And told a tale oft told before;
If you read on quite to the end
Its moral you will comprehend.
i ^ I
. %
In me you see a boy,
With leisure to employ
Upon tlie game
Of circulating news,
And editorial views
On the same.
It used to seem like work
w men 1 was giau to buu&?
This carrier job;
But now to me it's play,
And, as I learned today,
Also to Bob.
I'm very glad to And
Bob in that state of mind,
For it was he
Who led that "bravest l)and
Of Injun fighters in the land"?
Including me.
.
That's what you called us when
We straggled home again,
Ambition gone;
But when we started out
To put the fiends to rout
You cheered us on.
To me and all the rest
Said Bob, "On to the west
Where fame awaits!
Let future song and story
Cover us with glory.
Onward mates!"
Toward the setting snn,
Each with his little gun
And powder horn,
Grim faces five we turned;
For Injun scalps we yearned
That April morn.
! } . i . ,
" I '
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I ?????
Of taxra hadn't aajr.
Three dlius to a penny
"WVei-e oahhe^f '
And tb marched along ?r
With ant and martial song !
Altoabashed. 1 p
" Two ds of fl(aest weather
Held oi band, together
On ie trail;
A f rigi<drizz] inf? rain
Thenctagwl our joy to pain,
An eve ta med tail.
Alas! wat hac [ we done?
Each bs bis lvttle gun
Anchothiiig more;
Wherevr we Applied
For a chnce t$ get inside A
Thewb^.t the door.
"Show tu the scalps," they *aid,
"Of Injuis tha are dead
Becaiseof lou,
And tlienwt'llfet you in "
And stuff you the chin."
What carM we do?
Thns we we j fW with sneers,
And warme With cruel jeers
Or heart sa smiles,
As homevrai worn and sore
' We crept frt 1 door
Those w ,Hr miles.
From that bj?d I've now resigned
Quite satisfit tjo And
A road t>alme
Through cirflAting news,
And editoris/Jews
On the sa^i.
?1? I
WHY HE DiJ >SED WELL.
The Sentimental ?1 e of the Catrler
We .
He liked our com par i md we
,Were willing that tl I )ude should be
A listener, but moreb; in that
We would not grantS^id we: "That's flat
You and your kind ierje made to fill
The world with beady, and until
Oar tongues get ver; tired indeed 1
Yonr silence will be ill-we need."
It happened though hflt soon a tale j
Turned out so stupic flat and stale
Pat vowed, "Not e'ei ti' Dude, bedad,
Cu'd tell a sthory twidas bad."
"Goodl Let him try,* ve all replied,
And thus the Carrier lude complied:
>1,
Over the hill a "sub"of mine,
(No matter vho)
Is father to one?aqd (he's divine? 1
I mean toWoo.
You may laugh if jpc like?you are al- \
ways rude? I :
But your laugh laterpd will be more subdued,
? ' ? U J J J
Dor unero s tnumpu iui tun vauio* .
Annie's her name, ad she Is a prize;
Rnt har fotlP r'a CT?f.
Besides hor a dog of hjormous size
That shouli be shot!
Howeverj quite friend^he'6 growing to be
(I wear good clothes aii am clean, you sae),
And even her father Staking to me.
]
It happened this wal: I had stopped to
talk I
To Annie tiere,
When her father cane quietly up the
walk,
Began to svear,
And declared that no dude with nothing
to do,
Wljose chief delight wjb a toothpick shoe,
Could talk to his daighter?not if he
knew I
!
The bundle of papersbeneath my arm
Then spoke for me
In a manner that quiited my alarm.
"Ah, now I Bee,"
Her father remarked, "I judged you
wrong;
To that idle crowd you don't belong,
But pay your way as you go along."
; I
Now here*is a lesson for some of you:
mi. t 11; :
1U18 niuuuuniic,
Who works all day as hard as we do, j
Said to me there:
"My boy, let them jeer if they please: 1
your plan
Is the best, aud gladly FB help you when I !
can? '
Good taste in dress alwaj h helps make the j
man."
i V /. ' .
I'll take the old man ; his word some :
day. i
And then you 1 see j
The millionaire yive his ( lughLer away? j
Away to me!
What then will you say? Will youstill be ;
rude? j
Or remind each other in ines subdued j
What a long headed cha was that "Car-,
rier Dude?"
THE CARRIERS' 'ARASITE.
i
An Admonitory Talo Iddrcssed to a ,
N uImuci
A parasite vine on the oa tree feeds,
I And the oak has no retl ess;
But the panisite boy whc*his tale reaas
Will take the hint, I gr as.
If he don?
Wo won't
Give him a cb .ce
*
*1
* "'"' y-i
TomisA ... o
Tbeblias
Of a lively dance!
Mb dance will be In the form of a jifr fc.J
And tbe tnne will make bim jmnp;
or a good thick stick on tbe back of tbe . &
Prig
Will raise fnll many a lamp. j
With each swish
He'll wish
He was miles away; I
Black and bine
Through and through
He will go and stay! ~
'
e loafs all tbe year, this parasite boy.
And Jeers at the carriers' toil;
nd the carriers' harvest hails with joy.
Tn Mnravf) Vita orwil
pur UC uiuxcn uuou iv
He'd an lief '-' ' /' ;
Beathief ./ (
As an honest man; . { "
Make him work. ? ; V;;
Not shirk, . /
Is now oar plan.
These Carriers' Tales, on New Year's clay, - 1
Will meet with a ready sale;
V.nd the harvest is oars this time, we say.
For the parasite's schemes will faiL
' They will see
That he
Is a rank outsider, .
And will pat
Thoir foot
On the greedy spider!
jet the carriers' parasite read as he rniu,
And remember what he has read;
I7V ow> fhto time nnd haVfl trained DOT '
guns .. V'v
On the spot where he hides his bead? ; '
If he don't , r
We won't
Give him a chance .v' /
To miss
The bliss''
Of a lively dancel
f HOW CY WON FORTUNE.
i Mournful Tale of What Might H?n - >"
Been.
An andent Carrier Boy was he
(For he confessed to thirty-three), ,
And we nicknamed hhu Loneaomo Joe ajgfl
His solemn looks impressed na so. .jSM
He seemed to hurse some vain regret; 4
? . - - _T ' . J*'
Though often urgsa ae never yei
Had condescended to relate ' ; * U
Jnst why he quarreled with hi* fnto.
At last he changed his mind one day.
And thus he gave himself away
A genteel little chap was Cy.
Unlike the most of us,, ' *
For he was never known to He.
Or ever heard to cuss.
He always was so neat and nice
We called him "Sissy"?why,
He wouldn't smoke at any price. S
And chaw!?he'd rather dief f
We laughed?he didn't care a cap; * '
And now we fiuueand fuss (
To sec the way this gentwel chap
Has j;ot the laugh on us.
Cy wouldn't throw the dice, or play
I ftirda. or raise a row: T?
His principles were nil O K?
Just as his checks are now.
We might have had otir check hooks,
too, \
And credit quite as good.
But we remained a shiftless crew ;<
While Cy kept sawing wood.
^ FIB
Tlio first wo knew he'd sold his route.
And bought an A1 stand,
With pujJers, peanuts, boolcs and fruit, ,
The finest in the land.
Before we'd swallowed our chagrin
Cy's stand became a store;
Before we'd time to take that it ;
Cy took another floor.
He bought a railroad and a mill.
And built a big hotel;
I tell you, boys, say what yon will,
This genteel chap was?well,
Th? msfc rou know ns well ax I, '
And repetition cloys;
This paper now belongs to Cy,
And we're his Carrier Boysl >!
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