The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, February 22, 1888, Image 6
MEMORY'S PICTURE.
I see her now, the fairest thing
That ever mocked man's picturing.
I picture her as one that drew
Aside life's curtain and looked through
The mists of all life's mystery,
As one looks on the open sea.
The soft wide eyes of wonderment
That trusting looked you through and
through;
The sweet arched mouth, a bow not bent.
That sent Love's arrows swift and true.
That Bweet arched mouth! The Orient
ha h not such pearls in all her stores;
Not all her storied, spice-set shores
Hath fragrance such as it bath spent.
T nfatnre Vior ?s one who knew
How rare is truth to be untrue;
As one who knew the awful sign
Of death, of life, of the divine
Sweet pity of all loves, all hates
Beneath the iron-footed fates.
I picture her as seeking peace,
And olive leaves and vine-set land;
While strife stood by on either band,
And wrung the tears like rosaries.
I picture her in passing rhyme.
As of, yet not a part of thesa.
A woman, born above her time.
A woman waiting in her place,
With patient pity on her face.
Her face, her earnest, youthful face,
Her young face so uncommon wise;
The tender love-light in her eyes,
Two stars of heaven oat of place.
Two stars that sang as stars or oia
Their silent eloquence of song,
In skies of glory and of gold,
Where God in purple passod along;
That patient, youthful face of hers
Thit w >n a thousand worshippers!
That silent, pleading face, among
Ten thousand faces just the one
That I shall love when all is done,
And life lies by, a harp unstrung.
?Joaquin Mi.ler, in ^Boston Transcript.
VEGETABLE RED.
I am inclined to hope that I am the '
most nervous man iu the world. Like
many shy men, i am comparatively happy i
when 1 ain by myself. 1 was very happy j
on a certain important but "ornery lookof?AKr\AAn
An fl*c? T'n^orrrrnnn/I
*"{ > uu<"? |
Railway. My office in Whitehall street
had left me free at 4 o'clock, and I had ;
a new edition of "Sophocles" to read. I
The Creek drama was always my sub !
ject, and I have, indeed, preprarcd an
edition of "Sophocles'- on my own ac- j
count in which my various readings are
conclusively proved to be only correct
ones; it will be published posthumously. !
Well, the new edition was one source of
happiness, my solitude was another, j
Moreover, one foot was resting on the
cushion opposite and my other leg was
crossed over that knee. I had only just
begun a rignrette, and was secure in the
rejection that I should not have to move
for some minutes, when an event hap- i
peued which would not necessarily seem '
of any importance; the door of the next J
compartment (separated only from mine
by a half way partition) opened, and two |
lad es got in. They were evidently '
young ladies from their voices and'1
words. | <
"Why, this is a smoking carriage!;;
"With the usual horrid smell in it, too!" ! '
"Well, there's no one smoking in it 1
now. Mairsie. to ero on with vour tale. I i
always thought that you rather liked '
him."
"Liked hiru'i" the other voice (a pretty '
voice) answered. "Why, my dear May, i
he is reu headed?has that vivid, veget
, able red that I always loathed and de-:
teste d!" ! i
' - Now, my hair is red, vegetable, vivid, i
vile and detestable; of that color with <
which only the invidious freckle loveth
to abide. 1 don't like the color of my <
own hair. If I could have braved the i
sneers of some vendor of dyes, if 1 could ]
have faced the unapproving silence of I
my polite acquaintance, and the banter i
of my office, then I should have very
gradually changed the color of my hair. ; |
But what was 1 to do uow? If I kept
silen e I might overhear confidences "
from this unseen "Maggie" concerning 1
her relations with and conduct toward i
my companion in misfortune. This j
would never do. So I coughed.
The cough wjis evidently not noticed, ]
for the young lady who_ answered to the i
name of May said: ~ i
"Look, Maggie, the partition doesn't <
go up to the roof. I wonder if there is ]
a man on the other side?" : j
"I'll easily settle that, my dear!" Mag- i
gie replied, to my horror. i
There was nothing else for it, so I
feigned sleep hs well as I could, while I i
imagined and partly beard this dreadful i
young woman getting on the seat, and :
felt that I was being examined over the
partition. Then it occurred to me with
a sort of spasm that sleep with a lighted 1
cigarette in the mouth was inconsistent i
and imnrobnble. Puff at the ciixarette
I could not, and my nostrils were being <
horribly irritated by the smoke that was <
curling around them. I held on as long i
as I could, feeling meanwhile that my i
face was becoming more aud more con- <
gested, until at last, hoping that my ob- ]
server hud withdrawn herself, aud being ;
utterly incapable of living longer without
fre3h air, I burst out with a yelp, j
curiously compounded of splutter, cough j
and sneeze. I looked up at the parti- ,
tion. The interval between it and the
rooi 01 tne carnage was a smau one, ana
Maggie had been compelled to turn her j
face a little sideways to get a good view ;
of me. By means of her hat she had j j
been imprisoned in this po3itioo, and h
was now tugging and pulling to get free. '
It was a most uncommonly uncomforta-',
ble situation, but, though I was devoutly j .anxious
for the immediate and painless
death of one of us, I was aware dimly, ;
just then, that Maggie was a young person
of considerable attractions. Her
face was a beautiful oval, and she had a 1,
brilliant color, partly the result of her
position and exertion, I supposed. J j
This state of affairs la ted, perhaps, a |
good five seconds?seconds that I (
felt to drag lijce the centuries which
J- i nrL-i a.a
preceue a summer xiwuuiiy. iiat muus
If I offered to help I could only advance
matters by either pulling her hat off or
squashing it back against the roof, i (
Moreover, I was almost certain to touch
her face! No wonder that a girl with a j
face like that "loathed and detested" j.
"vegetable r<d hair."*
Even thes.; rive seconds came to an
end at last. With a great struggle the
face disappeared, but (judge of iny em- !
barrassment and horror !j the hat fell at
my feet in here I was standing in inuecisiou
and dismay.
"May," I heard Maggie whisper to
her friend, "there wns a man there. Of I
course he has red h:iir, and my hat has
fallen over into his carriage."
We were getting near a station, I was
flad to see. As the train whirled in I j
andcd the hat over the partition, and j
said with as much firmness as I conld i
command, in an aflair of such complicated
discomfort: "Your hit, I believe;
allow mo!"
Then, without waiting to collect my ;
gloves, mv umbrella and my new Sophocles,
I sprang on to the platform.
I am not expert in "leaving the train
while it is in motion,'' at the best of
times. This time which was by no
means of the best, I sprang straight out
at right angles to the line of the train,
aud as a natural consequence, was
thrown violently on to my hands and
knees, tearing my nether garments at
the knee and ' barking' the knee itself
with more liberality tlmu discretion.
However, I reflected, as I gathered myself
and my hat together, they could
not have seen me fall, so all was right.
With the arrival of the next train the
first part of my adveuture came to a welcome
end. It left a great impression on
me. however. I was pursued by aeon
stant dread of falling in with "Maggie"
again. To avoid this I availed myself of
a route by 'bus to and from my office,
which entailed waste of time and a cold
in the head. For Maggie might be in
but scarcely on a 'bus, and the weather
was cold and capricious.
Miss Jackson is almost the only lady I
know upon whom I voluntarily make
calls. She is a very old friend of mine;
she is, in fact, one of the few women in
whose company I do not feel shy. I went
to see her about a fcrtiiight after the
episode of the hat. The servantshowed
me in without announcing my name.
The room was lighted only by the fire,
and as I walked iu I heard a voice that
seemed somewhat familiar finish a narration
with these words: "Luckily he got
out at the next station,and I live .n hope
that I shall never see him again."
Mr f!arden to VOU. I
Miss Hendcrsou," said ray hostess, who
had risen to receive me. I bowed in the
darkness, not without grave fears as to
the identity of .Miss Henderson with the
Maggie ot my adventure.. However that
may be, sheir.tered some usuaj common
phrase to which I replied: "Oh, yes!"
jerkily, not being able to think of anything
more original on the spur ol the
moment.
"Well," said Miss Henderson, after an
interval in which I raked viciously
round my mind for a remark in vain, "I
think I must be going. Where do you
think I put my hat before it got dark,
Mis? Jackson? I've inade adisg.acefully
long call; it was quite light when I
cuine."
"Miss Jackson lit a candle, while I
hunted desperately about for the missing
hat, not daring to look up at Miss
Henderson. At last I found it close beside
me on a low chair, with a furry contrivance
which, I have since learned, is
called a boa. It was so close to me, in- .
deed, that to this day I regard it as a
special mercy that that I had not sat
upon it. I picked up the hat and the
boa, and as I stepped over with them I
said, without looking up, "this is your ;
hat, I believe." Then I looked up, as !
was inevitable. Of course, as you have
guessed. Miss Henderson was the Maggie 1
of the railway carriage. I had just time :
to see her flush crimson before I lowered 1
my eyes. What happened before she ;
left the room I cannot say, as I was
practically unconscious.
Well, after this I got desperate. It
was of no use. it seemed, to flv from this
hat and its wearer. I abandoned my
'bus route aud patronized the Underground
agaiu. haunted by the dread of
seeing Maggie, but sure that no amount ;
of stratagem could long keep me from
doing so. In the evening when I had
just got home I used even to imagine 1
scenes in which I had crushed and
humiliated her by the haughty politeness
Df my manner at a chance meeting. I
:an certainly confe.ss that the recollection
of her face was constantly very
vivid, and that I sometimes "visualized"
it without any hat or frame of
jfiitForl nait'tinn
One liiie morning about 9:30 I was on '
my way up to ihc office in a smoking car- :
riage. It was quite full of business men,
jacli with his paper and pipe. I was enjoying
a cigarette in that state of semi- 1
consciousness that the Underground
favors when, just before the train left I 1
knew not what station, Maggie opened
the door. "This is a smoking carriage," '
remarked the man next the door, who '
with the odious selfishness of his sex regarded
the entiance of a lady as the
violation of sanctuary. "I am sorry," '
Maggie answered, "but there is no time
onnfliar T anil cfanil And rlifinrrp '
LV/ 1IIIU l>UU?UM. * " " 0~ ,
it the next station." I had known that .
it was Maggie before I looked up when
[ heard her voice at the door. The pro- '
pinquity of no other being would have
icconnred for the sudden aura that passed 1
jver me. These nine dreadful, clean
shaved and outwardly respectable city
tnen complacently sat and allowed Maggie
to stand in the reeking atmosphere .
that ihey had contaminated with their j1
3moke. I am not a mau who loves to i
push himself forward on such occa<ions j '
is this, but I could not take a share in j
such conduct, and After a second's blush i,
ing I extricated myself from ray neigh- j
bors and olFcred my seat by a gesture of 1
the hand. It was not so to be; I was ,
bound to sp ak, as Maggie was looking ;1
at the window bv the bar of which she
was holding. ''Prav take my seat," I I
said, in a voice as srruff and. deep as I
could make it. "Thank you, Mr. C'arden,"
Maggie replied, after a startled recognition.
"It is a shame to deprive you
of it in a smoking carriage." She bit her !
lip and blushed, but took the vacant
place.
I suppose I stood there for some three
minutes in a state of agony, conscious of
having rebuked the city men by my act
?ud of havinsr once more obtruded, as it
were, my existence upon Maggie. At
the next station I got out; so did she.
"Mr. Carden," I heard her say close behind
me. What now torture was I booked ;
for, I wondered; but escape there was j
none, so I turned and faced the foe, raising
my hat and no doubt looking much '
surprised. "Mr. Carden," she said, "I
wish to beg your pardon, if you please."
"Beg my pardon, Miss Mag?Miss
rienuerson i mean," i simnmureu. j,
"What on earth for?"
"You must know." Magg!e answered, i;
studying tiie platform meanwhile, 'that ]
I have twice been very rude to you; the !
first time when I disturbed you iu the !
train, and the sccond time when you !
Dyerheard me giving a vicious account of
what happened tlieu to Miss Jackson. I
made up my mind to apologize when and
where 1 happened to meet you, and I
hope that you will excuse me?" she
queried, looking at me with a beautiful
but troubled lace.
"I beg that you won't mention it," I
said, With a firmness and confidence that
Lave astonished me ever since. "If I
wasn't so absurdlv nervous it wouldn't
have mattered at all."
( /'Iliope that you didn't hurt yourself in
getting out of the train that unfortunate
afternoon. My friend who was with me
thought you must have hurt yourself seriously."
"Oh! not at all," I stammered, "not
all over; at least, not much?nothing to
speak of." I bowed as Maggie moved ,
down the platform, and actually ventured .
to remark: "The way out is behind you, j
Miss Henderson."
"Thank you; I am going on by the 1
next train," she said.
"Then you really got out of the train
to beg my pardon!" I asked, too aston- ,
ished to feel shy. I
\
"H
" Yea," she replied, and then her face
dimpled all over as she added: "And I
am afraid that you got out of the train to
escape from me, as I see that you are not
going out. Good morning."
The train came in and we separated on
our different ways.
I called on Miss Jackson again soon
after this occurrence, but of course did
not allude to it. Miss Jackson was going
to give one of her "evenings.'^ 1 had
never been to one of them; I supposed
that they were torture of the most dreadful
sort. Miss Jackson begged that I
would do her a favor by coining to this
one. "Mr. Henderson is coming," she
explained, "and he cares to talk nothing
but Greek play. You are the only man I
? ?.I. ? />An V,Tt 1' n A TTT 1 T1 CT Ulh fl f
MIUW >vuu Ittuucip iliU ijj j\lx\j H1U0
lie is talking about."
"What! Is he Henderson, of St.
Guido's, Oxford?" I inquired.
" lie was. Now. he is Mr. Henderson,
of London, and finds fewer sympathizers.
Hi> only interc t in connection with anything
of the present day is his daughter,
whom you mef. here one afternoon. A
charming girl; I am very fond of her."
I promised to come to the "evening."
I afterward repeuted of the promise,
but kept it. I scarcely spoke to Maggie,
but I had much conversation with Mr.
Henderson, that is to say, I heard much
of Mr. Henderson s ideas concerning me
Greek drama. I am a good listener, and
it transpired somehow that I was interested
iu the subject. This impressed
Mr. Henderson with the idea that I was
an intelligent young fellow. At last he
said: "Come round some evening?say
Friday evening?and see us. We are a
small family only my daughter Margaret
and myself; but I have some old manuscripts
that you might like to see. It is
a rare treat to me to see people who take
an interest in my subject."
I went to see the manuscripts, of
course. Since then I have been often.
I astonished Mr. Henderson a week or
so back by stammering out a request
that I should be allowed to ask his
daughter for her hand. He laughed,
made an apt quotation, but raised no ob
jection.
A few days ago I was standing in his
hall putting on my great coat. ''So you
have really quite conquered your insuperable
objection to 'vegetable red'
hair. Maggie?" I said.
"i'ourhat. I believe; allow me?" was
her seemingly inconsequent reply.?
London Belgravia.
What a Blizzard Is.
A bliz/ard is simply a strong, cold
wind moving unchecked over leagues of
light, unpacked snow. It sweeps up
that which has previously fallen, carries
it away in the color of a vast shaken
fleece, distributes it so that almost each
atmospheric atom has its little particle,
and drives along all with a steady fury.
Whether tresh snow is falling can
seldom be dctcrmiued by people out in
a real blizzard. As far as the eye can
3ee upward, and that is but a little
space, the hurry of minute pellets hurling
across an unrevealed sky prevails, and
tne nuriying sameness ou every 3iue ia
varied only by occasional tall and bending
wraiths where the wind whirls in shifting
columus. A confusion of the senses,
comparable to none produced otherwise,
appalls one submitted to the enormous
and blinding force of such a show-filled
wind, and scarcely a d'stinct thought re- 1
mains except that the awful cold forbids i
crouching for rest and shelter. To our personal
knowledge, one in such a storm
keeps with dilHculty upon a railway
track lifted three feet above the surrounding
prairie, and may be lost by five steps I
the wrung way alter stumbling down i
from the embankment, which, being
white, becomes instantly invisible. It is 1
recorded on good authority that bands '
of teamsters halting with their horses ]
* J A.
nave Deen snoweu over unity lcet uccp
by blizzards, and have survived by beatiug
out breathing chambers till the ces- |
sation of the storm enabled them to dig
themselves to upper air. The formation
of a drift about a halted man, or horse,
or sleigli, is sometimes wonderfully I
speedy, and the drift, once established, I
grows by virtue of its obstiuctiveness. 1
In some well authenticated cases lost
persons have been found by tho drifts '
over them and dug out alive, in others 1
the spring has reve iled corpses still un- 1
thawed among the last white relics of <
winter. In blizzards people have often I
l>een unable to see across the street of a ]
northwest town, and sometimes men lose
their direction in trying to reach the opposite
side of a well-built way. ?Toronto
Globe. i
What ?L" Means on a Gold Coin.
When the coin is sent from the mint it 1
is overweighted | to 1 per cent, of its 1
iralue, which allows that much lo<s in 1
wear and tear while iu circulation. ^
When it fails to come up to the standard
weight it is refu?ed by the United States
freasury, hut before they pass it from
their hauds is is marked with an "L" on
the face, which signifies light weight,
and also is meant to prevent its circula- ,
tion among the people for its full value. (
It is said that there are great quanti
ties of ligut-weignt goia coins in circulation,
and the bank teller frequently
conies in conta-t with them. He is supposed
to be well posted in the various
grades of money in circulation, but notwithstanding
hia experience a lightwe'ght
slips in on him now and then.
However, gold coin is very difficult to ,
handle, and in nearly all cases where it is .
deposited in large quantities a loss in
weight can be looked for. It has been
several months, though, since such a loss .
in weight as that in this last deposit has
been sustained. Several months ago an .
amount about equally as large as $3,zuu i
was sustained on gold coin deposited by
the local banks. This deficit, it seems, |
made the teller more strict in accepting
the coins and depositors were more
careful, resulting in few light-weight ,
coins being presented. Encountering
little t.lmble for some time, it seems the
tellers have lifted their vigilance, and the 1
light-weight coins .slipped in on one of
them. ?St. Louis Republican,
The New Year in lfunnah.
1
The advent of the New Year in Burmah
is celebrated with what is called the (
Water Festival, which furnishes a somewhat
boisterous amusement for the population
of Manduluy. Men, women and
boys go about armed with squirts of fantastic
form, which are filled with water
at vessels provided for the purpose, and
?1isflmrw>d nt anv chance passer-by. ,
Foreigners are favorite ob cots of this I
aqueous attack, and lucky is the Drit- J
ish OlHcer who before starting out has (
dressed for sudden showers. ,
'Tain't So. j
Don't believe that the world is goin' to the j
dogs?
'Tain't so!
That all women are peacocks, and all men 1
are hogs,
'Tain't so! i
An' if any man tells you the world to de- J
spise,
An' the honor of all men is sold for a price,
Look squar' in his eye.? an' jest tell him h< l
lies! j
'Tain't so! .
For he thinks that the world is fashioned ]
awry
And made from the pattern they cut him out
by!
?Yankee Blade.
"\ /
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Earned His Money?Special TermsShe
Had Read Up?A Familiar
Face?A Leap Year
Proposal, Etc., Etc.
Patient?"That's a big bill you sent,
doctor. You only looked at my tongue
and prescribed quinine."
Doctor?"You forget, my dear sir,that
I felt of your pulse."? Texas Siftings.
Special Terms.
New member (to Washington hotel
clerk)?"What are your regular rates?"
Clerk?"Four dollars a day, air; payable
weekly."
New Member?"You have different
rates for Members, of course f"
Clerk?"Yes, air. Four dollars a day
in advance."?New York Herald.
She Had Read Up.
Tramp?"Can't you give a poor man
something to eat? I got shot in the war
and can't -work."
Woman?"Where was you shot?"
"In the spinal column, mum."
"Go 'way I There was no such battle
fought."?Texai HiJ tings.
A Familiar Face.
Gue9t (to hotel clerk)?"I've met that
gentleman who just went out before
somewhere. His face is very familiar,
but to save my life I can't call his name.'
Clerk?"His name is Smith; he is one
of the officials at Auburn prison. Your
bill is $4, sir."?New York Sun.
A Leap Year Proposal.
Clytie?"Harry, you must have noticed
that you have grown very dear to me.
I?I?it is useless to longer conceal the
truth, my darling?I love you!"
Hurry (turns pale and trembles)?"It
is so sudden, Miss Jones. Excuse my
agitation, but I must have time to
think."
Clytie? "Then you bid me hope, my
angel! Oh, rapture!"
Harry (blushing coquett'shly behind
his -whiskers)?"I have not said that.
Really, Miss Jones, I must refer you to
ma "
Clytie?"Cruel, cruel one! Why have;
you awakened this pleasing hope in my '
bosom if only to b'ast it? Consider, my j
love. Will nothing move you to mercy?,
Bestow upon me this little hand andl
make me the happiest of maidens."
Harry?"Alas! I l'ear it cannot be. I
esteem you highly a< a friend, Missi
Jones, but?forgive me if I pain you?I
Iaifa ttah /JTrJrla nnt. ViJa luinrl I I
UU UUU iUTt J wu. wwv ^
But I will always be a brother to you."
She rushes out into the dark, dark
world, convinced that leap year is a
fraud. ? Omaha Bee.
Life In Kansas.
"There's quite a brec/.e sprung up
within the last half-hour," said a Kansas
man as he came into the house; "the
roof has goue off the court house and
the Kpiscopals' steeple just rolled by."
"Has Dave Johnson's anvil blown
out of his shop yet and tumbled past?"
asked his wife.
"No; nor there hasn't a drop of water;
blown out of our new fifty-ioot well
yet, either."
"That's just the way it goes," con-j
tinued his wife; "and I'll nev<?r take
my more stock in the prophecies of the.
weather bureau. Here for the last forty-!
eight hours it has been predicting high
wind for to day, and after all it is com- i
paratively calm. Mary Jane, go right,
i head and hang out the washing while
1 rig up the baby and take him out and
jive him a little airing. ? Yankee Blade.
At the Wrouff Window.
A good story is told at the expense of ,
the Amherst College Glee Club. About
ten years ago the club made a trip
through New York State, and sung in
Rochester at the same time that Kate
Pcnnoyer, a pretty stage singer, was
there. After the concert it was proposed
to serenade the lady, and the club proceeded
to her home and struck up the
familiar college hymn, "Dear Evelina,"
paraphrasing the chorus:
Dear Kate l'ennoyer,
Sweet Kate l'ennoyer,
Our love for thee
Shall never, never die.
After singing the entire song the boys
rrrnSfsir) o IlMmpnt fllP ft ffiCO CT J) i Ll On Of
uuittu u uivmvMv ??. ? ? ~
their serenade. Slowly a window in the
third story was raised, later a man clothed
in robe3 of white and with whiskers a
foot long was seen, and then a bass solo
svas wafted down to the collegians:
Dear boys below there,
Sweet boys below there,
Your Kate Petinoyer
Lives four doors below here.
As the last words of his song died on
the frosty air, the Amherst College Glee
Dlub gathered themselves up like Arabs
and as silently stole away.
A Wife's Criticism on a Will. |
An Irishman over the ^age of fourscore
ind ten, who by strict economy had
accumulated a modest fortuae and was
ibout to die, called in the parish priest
xnd the family lawyer to make his last
will aud testament. The wife, a grasping,
covctous old party was also in the
room. The preliminaries of the will hav
tng been conciuaea, it ueumue ucucasaij
to inquire about the debts owing to
:he estate. Among these were several of
importance, of which the old lady had
been in ignorance, but was nevertheless
pleased to find that so much ready money
would becoming after the funeral.
"Now, then," said the liiwyer, ''stale
explicitly the amount owed you by your
friends."
' Timothy Biown," replied the old
man, "owes me ?60; John Casey owes
me me and "
"Good, good?"ejaculated the pros-;
1:..? "lidtimml tn the last." i
JJUUIH C Willi* . . ?
"Luke Brown owes me ?'40," resumed
the old man.
"Rational to the last," put in the eager
aid lady. !
'To Michael Liffevlowe ?200."
"Ah!" exclaimed the old woman,
"hear him rave?"
CiirliiK tlie Wroujf Man.
An aimy surgeon wu9 one night annoyed
by the coughing of the sentry outside
his tent. I :;a!>le to sleep, he decided
that something must be done for
the man,' and so compounded liim a
strong and very disagrci-ab.c dose of
medicine. Then, going out, lie ordered
the man to take it. The sentry refused,
it tirst politely, and afterward angrily
iind emphatically; but the surgeon sternly j
insisted upon his rights, and the man '
was finally induccd to swallow the com-1
pound. The result was evidently satis- |
factory. The sound of coughing ceased
in fnmn nnrl the sumeon went to I
sleep in the consciousness of having done ;
a good deed. The next morning he was
summoned by the officer in command,
who said to him:
"How is this, sir? I hear serious complaints
about you in relation to the sen-'
tries. One of them has reported that, ia
the middle of the night, jou came out of
your tent and abused him in the most
dreadful manner. He says you made him
swallow a drink which mu9t have been
poison."
The guard had been relieved while
the surgeon was compounding his mixture,
and he had cured the wrong man.
?Argonaut.
The New Clerk.
He had been recommended as a sharp,
shrewd boy, and the grocer had been
several times delighted at the way he
scrimped the measure when selling apples
or potatoes. Therefore, when he
started down town the other day he felt
that everything would go smoothly in
his abscnce. When he returned, alter
the la|>se of a couple hours, he asked:
"Well, anything happen?"
"Bought twenty bushels of potatoes,"
replied the boy."
"But I didn't tell you to."
"I know it, but when I can buy potatoes
at twenty-five cents per bushel under
selling price there's a profit in buying,
eh!"
"Did you get 'em for that?"
"I did, ana good measure, too."
"Then I shall raise your salary a dollar
J>erweek. You are the boy I've been
ooking for. Potatoes in the bin?"
"Yes."
Two minutes later the grocer came
back to the front of the store with a potato
in each hand and his face as white
as snow, and after working his jaws for
half a minute he managed to say:
"You idiot! They are frozen as hard
as rocks!"?Detroit Free Press.
Thev Knew.
A certain charitable mission enterprise
connected with an important church, is
presided over by a young assistant minister
of the church, who is much admired
for his personal graces as well as for his
piety and zeal in good work. He had
been assisted in the work of instructing,
elevating and amusing the boys who resort
to the mission by some good ladies
of the parish, and particularly by a
young woman whose benevolent interest
in the mission work has been supposed to
include the clergyman at its head. She
has been indefatigable in her endeavors
to teach and entertaiu the boys,and often
addresses them in little speeches.
The other Sunday this young lady was
speaking to the boys in the presence of
*v.n flim-ntrmon ftlio lmf? pvhr>rted them
to be good and studious, to avoid bad
company, profanity and other demoralizing
things, and closed her little
exhortati n with these words:
'I want you to be good boys and do
all these things that 1 have asked you to
because I love you all."
"I know who you love most!" a small
boy in the front row called out.
"Well, who is it, Johnny?" asked the
lady. No doubt she suspected some accusation
of partiality among the boys,
which she would* have been glad of an
opportunity to deny.
The boy pointed his small, grimy
finger at the young clergymen.
"Him!'' he shouted.
The young lady's interest in charitable
work is saiu to nave aecuneu. visiuiy iur
some little time.?Boston Transcript.
Towing Rafts at Sea.
The recent attempt and subsequent
failure to convey a raft of 30,000 spruce
log? from Nova Scotia to New York City
reminds us of propositions which were
broached here long years ago in regard to
transposing sawed lumber and spiles
from Humboldt Bay to San Francisco m
the same manner. But the idea of mov- j
ing lumber in that manner, to evade high j
freights, never met with much encouragement.
The fact that two harbor bars
thut are disposed to be ugly when they
are not positively good had to be passed
in the transit; tne turtner one or siow
progress in the matter of towing such
rafts, and that a heavy westerly swell was
liable to be encountered at any season,
finally brought the decision that the venture
would be a dangerous and expensive
one. A similar parallel was the project
of rafting logs across Eel river bar to the
ocean, and having the raft picked up by
a steam-tug and towed into Humbolt
Bay. That was a' andoned after the first
attempt, in which the raft broke up before
it reached the ocean, the logs being
scattered and beached all the way -from
Mad river to Coosky, on the lower coast
of the county, by the currents. It is an
f.if-h thnf it. ia mtirh pasier
to transport lumber and timber in the
hold of a vessel or on a railroad car than
to trust to harbor bars or old ocean's
freaks.?llu nhohll (Cal.) Standard.
Cutting Ice Oil the Hudson.
A glance at the ice fields is extremely
interesting. I drove down the river for
many miles as the cutting was just beginning.
The stream at intervals was
dotted with crowds of men and horses
busy in marking out the great square,
like a gigantic chessboard, upon which
they might be taken as representing the
pawns and pieces. Large open spaces of
blue water already appeared, showing
liow rapidly tne woik is none.
The "marking" is done by a saw-like
implement, with several huge, sharp
teeth, drawn by a horse and guided by a
man, who holds it like a plough. It
marked a scries of long, deep stratches
at intervals of about three feet, crossing
them with o:her lines until an immense
space is marked out. He is followed by
men with long-hand led staves, who proceed
to divide the ice into blocks with
the reposeful motion and languor of men
who work by the day. Then comes an
army of men with long pole-hooks
who deftly yank the cakes out upon the
firm ic6 and then they are piled upon the
carts if at a distance frum the houses.
Arriving at the huge buildings they are
hoisted, one by one, up an inclined plane,
-1 nina an nnril<>ca-r>linin hnlt.
? 11111 lUUs) ... ,
to the top of the building and then
lowered into its vast recesses, making a
foundat:on solid and firm of opulence for
its fortunate owner.?Neio Yo'-k World.
A Deformed Prince.
The Crown Prince of Germany's eldest
son and heir to the throne is Prince Wilhelm,
of whom the^ Countess von Krockow
writes: "The Germans cannot forgive
an heir apparent of the throne having
been born mediocre in figure and
imperfectly formed. Prince Wilheim
has a crippled arm. The fingers are
mere knobs. In the hussar uniform
there is a pocket, and he wears it because
^f!m ltolnlACG mAmhnr
(I1C llirur jjiii*i-ia ux i/uv nvi|;-v^. Miv.?Vv.
cm lie hung in the pocket. Otherwise
it hangs awkwardly and helplessly in its
sleeve. His horses arc especially trained,
aud before the Prince is to mount are
ridden three-quarters ol' an hour to wear
them down. He can just manage to hold
the reins. "\Vc were together in a country
house. I looked with the hostess
at the fork with wiiich he cats. It is of
silver, and not conspicuously different
from others, but fixed to the under tine
there is a sharp small blade. What the
Prince cannot cut with the one hnnd
and this blade he does not undertake to
eat. The right hand and arm are large
and of extraordinary dexterity, but the
little finger is deformed by a growth
which the Prince only imperfectly conceals
by wearing rings nearly up to the
third phalange/' 11
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> '' fSv'V 'n 1
| POPULAR SCIENCE.
A Philadelphia firm has been awarded
a contract by the Italian Government for
the construction of a Zalinski dynamite
gun, which is to be forty feet long and
to be made in three sections, ana designed
to throw a prosectile weighing
000 pounds a distance of four miles. It
will be used for coast defense.
The extension of the Chinese telegraph
system has involved the crossing of
several large rivers?a matter of no small
difficulty, owing to the enormous dimensions
of the summer floods. The river ir.
question, whose ordinary width is about
half a mile, is swollen by the rains to a
breadth of more than eight miles.
Referring to the British birds that
swarm in South Africa in winter, Professor
Scebohm state9 that on the coast of
Natal he must have seen hundreds o
thousands of barn swallows,evidently collected
to return to northern Europe.
Swifts and other species were numerous.
Many of these did not breed within
8,000 miles of tho3e[arts, and some not
within 10,000.
A powder is used in the German army
for sitting into the shoes and stockings
of the foot-soldiers. It is called "Fusstreupulver,"
and consists of three parts
salicylic acid, ten parts starch, and
eighty-seven parts pulverized soapstone
(Speckstein). It keeps the feet dry,
prevents chafing, and rapidly heals sore
Tf io A Ka fn
mountaineers,
Mr. J. W. Collins reports in the Bulletin
of the United States Fish Commission
the finding of a knife of curious
workmanship in the thick flesh of a
large cod. The handle of the knife is
of brass, curved and tapering behind,
with a longitudinal incision on the concave
side to receive the edge of the blade.
The total length of handle and blade together
is 61 inches.
Professor Medeleef. in Engineering,has
advanced the theory that petroleum is of
mineral origin, and that its production is
foing on and may continue almost inefinitely.
He has succeeded in making
it artificially by a similar process to that
which he believes is going on in the
earth, and experts find it impossible to
distinguish between the natural and the
manufactured article.
Some of the inven'.ors evidently do
not propose to give up the car stove.
Several of them have invented and
nateuted extinguishers in the shape of
I . .
water tankf, which, when anything happens,
dro-.vn out the fire in the stove,
tome of them act automatically, while
other.* must be operated by pulling a
cord, which is supposed to flood the
stove and render it innocuous, so to
speak.
A paper made by Herr Ladewig, Germany,
will resist the action of both fire
and water. The manufacture is accomplished
by mixing twenty-five parts of
asbestos fiber with from twenty-five to
thirty parts of aluminum sulphate,
moistening the mixture with chloride of
zinc and thoroughly washing it in
water. It is then treated with a solution :
of pure aluminum sulphate, after which !
it is manufactured into paper like ordinary
pulp.
Roburite (says Iwlustriei) promises to
displace all other explosives now used in '
coal mines. The experiments made are |
highly satisfactory. "In what is usually j
mivhiM nf nil. and fips.dumn I
ail CAplUdlvg lui.wui v VI Mil UUV4 ? V ?...?r J
we understand there was no ignition. |
Underground, both in coal and stone, it j
gave results equal in power to ordinary J
blasting gelatine, while there was not so j
much small coal as with gelatine and !
dynamite. Probably it is not widely |
known that roburite is an invention due
partially to the action of the Austrian
(.iovernment, which in 1882 offered prizes
for the safest mining explosives. Koburite,
carbonite and securite were three ,
out of twenty which were favorably reported
upon, and the former appears to
be the most satisfactory."
Furs For Decorative Purposes.
A Washington Jetter to the New York
Graphic says: Going iuto a taxidermist's
studio a day or two since to buy a pair i
of owl's eyes?they can be had for from ,
fifty to sixty cents, according to the ex- I
pression wished for?I noticed many j
elegant furs lying in heaps upon the '
floor. They are used principally for j
decorative purposes, although one sees
much fur worn upon the streets of Washington.
I asked the proprietor to give
me a few of his prices. "Here," he .
said pointing to a magnificent white !
polar bcm skin ten feet long, "is a rug, j
handsomely mounted, for which I ask j
$200. 1 had a lovely Oorean tiger skin :
the other day, for which I got $300.
These are rare. A lodv who visited my
studio and saw this skin remarked that
it must have been a pretty large buffalo I
A royal Bengal tiger skin will sell for i
from $100 to $150. The musk or ox skin, !
which a few years ago sold for $35 or $10, :
xi_ 4I-A ? - T 1
IS DOW worm ii3 U Ml'lgiHUg iuug, X :
have an eiderdown quilt, eight feet long j
by five wide, beautifully pie'-ed, which is j
worth $100. A good lion rug costs i
$400. An angora rug can be had for
from $6 to $20. I have just mounted as
a rug for a Washington lady a biautiful
monkey skiu. It rests on gold
plush. Here is a lovely reindeer skin,
which Greely carried with him to the
North Pole. It came from Norway, and i
can be had for $10."
The Origin of heap Tear.
The custom observed every fourth year
of permitting the fairer sex to assume the
right and prerogatives appertaining to j
their brothers during the remaining j
three is a very ancient one, according to j
a New York World correspondent. When ;
it originated is not deiinitely known, but 1
? iniv nnnmnd hv the Parliament of Scot- I
laud in the year 128S is doubtless the first j
statutory recognition of the custom.
That law was as follows: "It is statut
and ordaint that during the reine of ller
Maist Hlissit Megestie. hk fourth year, j(
known as Le.ip \ ear, ilk maiden ladveof
baitli high and low e-tait shall haci berty
to bespeak ye man she likes: :ili;eit, gif i
he refuses to tak hir to be his .vyfe, he j
shall be mulcted in ye sntnme of ane
duudis or less, a-; his estait moit be, ex- J
cept and awis gif he can mak it appear
that he is betrothit to ane ither woman,
that he then shall be free.''
1 n.tnmli^An'u L'olipiKnt inn
A i/tiiigfii?ri o i u'/* ivuviviti
Muluk Chaud, a peasant living in a 1
small village in Bengal, was accused of j |
murdering his own child. He was found
guilty on the direct testimony of hissur- I 1
viving daughter, who entered into min- j 1
uie details of the circumstances of the '>
alleged murder. The evidence against ! '
Muluk I'liaud was so overwhelming that i
the . sessions judire who first tried the ji
case was absolutely convinced of his 1
TIUIU ruriUim&VIJ ?.% |iv??w
of appeal to the High Court of Calcutta, i
and a new trial was ultimately ordered. 1
In the further proceedings the prisoner's
counsel succeeded in satisfying both the
judge and iury that no murder had been
committed. The sentence of death was
therefore not carried out, and the prisoner
was liberated. His daughter sub- 1
sequently confessed that she nad fabricated
the story.
* f '
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CLEVER WOMENr
DEVICES OP POOR WOMEN IN
WASHINGTON.
Teaching Novices How to Shine in
Society?Arranging Bric-?BracFor
the WealthyHired
Chaperones.
The Washington Star says that there
are many women of reduced circumstances
in Washington who manage to
keep up appearances. They have all
been reduced from some higher sphere.
They are the wives or daughters of men
who have beeD in Government positions,
in the Army or Navy, or perhaps in Congress,
and have died leaving nothing for
their families. Some of those women
so reduced have trod the highest walks
of social eminence. Those of more common
place qualifications hare surrendered
their social position and opened
hoarding houses or gone into the Depart- .
meats. There is an ex-Representative
still alive here in Washington who has
two daughters in one of the Departments.
"< 1 -*? : n
Women of greater resources have contrived
means of keeping np appearances
and earning their own living at the same time.
There are several who teach,
etiquette to such as are newly cast into
tVin WnaViinfyfnn whirl Thpr tpArh fchft
wives and daughters of new statesmen
ho v to shine. They take their hands and
lead them through the dark passages and
over the slippery places about the entrance
to Washington society. They give
a benovolent assistance to rich ladies
who would like to shine in Washington
society, but have been unable to break
through the thin shell to the inner oircle.
They supply taste and culture where
their patrons have wealth only, and help
them up the rugged way. They brush - ;
aside the thorns with a hand in a velvet
glove. One lady, it is said, still keeps
up the establishment whic:h was the inheritance
of her more prosperous days,
through the "consideration" she receives
for introducing ladies into society and for
society news she furnishes contidently to
certain papers. To be invited to, her
house is to secure the entre to society.
It means recognition and other invitations.
The compensation for such a ser- '
vice is a matter of delicacy, but it is
managed by the lady so that the patron
rnav feel under deeo obligations, and not
as if she was getting "just so much
for the money. There are others who,
when not engaged in social activities
themselves, are occupied in showing some
lady how to arrange her parlors and reception
room;, how to hang pictures and
the curtain); what to put in thia-room
and what in that; how to arrange bric-abrac
on the mantels, in cabincts, and on
the floor; what to put here, what there,
and how the whole should be for harmony
and good taste. Then they show
their patron where to stand and how to
stand when receiving company, what to
talk about and how to talk; or they, will
show her how to give a dinnerparty, - ^
whom to invite, how many, how to decorate
and arrange the table, what to put
on it and in what*order, how to dispose
of the guests as to precedence, and all the
rest of it. This matter of precedence
puzzles some of the best of the newcomers,
and they are gltfd to find some
one to relieve them of the responsibility.
These fema'e professors of etiquette help *
them out of all such embarrassment.
They bring out the debutantes and help
them to good matches. Some, it is saic?
have particular talents for match-making,
aud devote themselves to that. This
branch of servicej is said to afford very
lucrative employment to two or three
amiable ladies of great tact. They bring
young people together and introduce
their "wards" into eligible society.
Another employment sought by accomplished
laaies of reduced circumstances
is that of chaperone for young
people. A chaperone is a very Important uj
attachment for young people in
Washington society, and one it is not always
easy to get. It is embarrassing and
besides generally inconvenient for mama's
to have to sit in th$ corner or against
the wall and nod. while their fair daugh
ters whirl in the waltz and tread the
mystic mazes that lead to premature old
age. An amiable chaperone, who will
go with the girls to the theatre, to balls
and parties, and receptions, is cheap at
most any price, and can find plenty to do
profitably. Of course they do not'advertise:
"Wanted.?A situation as chaperone."
Nor do they ask Mrs. Pennyharvest
if she doesn't want to hire a
chaperone with long experience and good
references. Not at. all. It all comes about
very naturally. The lady is so accommodating:
and Mrs. Pennyhar/est is so
grateful,"that it all comes to be understood.
Another occupation of fashionable
ladies in reduced circumstances is that
of reading to invalids, and entertaining
them with all the Smalltalk of the day.
All these means are resorted to by ladies
who have by some misfortune been
thrown on their own resources. Some
perform these services openly with no
pretense *t concealment of their necessities.
Others manage to keep their occuration
a secret between themselves and
those they serve, each patron thinking
that she is the only one so favored.
"Washington is a place for the cultivation
of clever women, and they are found
living upon their sharp wits in all the
walks of society. Many do a thriving
business in the "lobby."
The Length of Life Increasing.
Statistics are very misleading, says a
doctor in the Globe-Democrat, and I think
it is susceptible of proof that the average
of longevity is getting higher all the
time. Epidemic diseases, which contribute
so largely to the depopulation of
thickly, settled districts, are becoming
less and less destructive every year?almost
in exact ratio, I may say, to the increase
in therapeutical knowledge. Look
how yellow fever was kept down in
Florida this past summer, under conditions
equally as favorable to its spread as
those which obtained at Memphis in
1.S7S, when such fearful mortality prevailed.
And, then, see what surgery
has done. There isn't anything in the
way of accident work that is not perfectly
understood by the experienced
surgeon, save, possibly, lesions of the
brain and injuries to the peritoneum,
Even the latter has, time and again, been
succesfully treated by the prompt use of
knife and needle. Surgery has been reduced,
or maybe "raised ' would sound
better, to the status of exact srience;
md all that materia mcdica lacks is a
better knowledge of the operation of
remedies upon d fferent constitutions,
md that knowledge is rapidly being acquired.
The proportion of deaths to
casesj off S'ckne-gs reported in all our
medical meetings is growing sraaiierau
the time, the same rule holding with the
hospital reports These are some of the
reasons why I say the people of this age
have parsed the lowest point in their
longevity record, and by the same token
it can never get so low again until medical
knowledge becomes retrogressive,
which period is a long way ahead, according
to my idea.
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