The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, August 24, 1887, Image 6
THE ELEVENTH HOUR.
Eren at the eleventh hourHaste!
Haste!
Gird up the remnant of thy power
Ere it too run to waste.
On with thine armor, swift, and braced
For conflict, let thy brave strokes sound
Till victory is found
*1>a fli lirvm*!
Hind not the sinking sun,
Hor wait
To cry alas! o'er fielils unwon.
Tisiate?ah, true!?'tis late!
But make this hour the hour of Fate.
Since Time, no sun has ever yet
On noble purpose set,
And God's work thrives, tho' lata begun.
Behold th' appointed time
Is now!
For goal the day is at its prime,
And, thougn ttiou Know st noc now,
6oi( marks the furrows of thy plow.
Believe! All strife shall end in peace
When doubts and questionings cease.
Bow thou, and wait with faith sublime.
?Thomas H. iluzzexj.
!
Out of the Frying Pan,
__
BY AGNES POWER.
When Bently and I were first married
we lived at Bradham, a large manufacturing
town in Yorkshire. I am thankful
to say we do not live there now; only
those who have had experience of that
plate can imagiue how horrible it is.
When l>ently bought a practice there
\ every one seemed to think that it would
be a good thing, that it was a fine opening,
and that wc should get on well; and
In the end their conjecture* proved true,
though not at all iD the way they imagined.
I was really very miserable at Bradham
for two years, for I could not get on with
the people, and of course a doctor's wife
ought to be on good terms with every-!
body. The only person I cared for at all
was Lizzie Dacres. She and her mother
lived in a little house near to us: thev
were not at all well olT, and Lizzie did
china painting. She and I got very;
friendly, and we spent a good deal of ,
time together.
Just at first the practice seemed a good
one, and then it began steadily to fall off. j
"Whether it was that people did not like
Bently, or thought him too youug, I can-!
not tell; but a great many who had been !
his predecessor's patients never sent for
him at all, but employed some one else,
and he grew very melwicoly over it.
I had no fortune of iny own, and he
< had only what he earnea. as he h id in- j
Tested all his money in this affair, so that
if it failed it would be a very black lookout
for us.
It was verv unnleasant. and I was al
vnp reproaching myself, for I fancied it
was partly my fault. Every one used to
tell us, uthe late man's wife" had made
his practice for him.
I used to sit and think and think what
Mrs. Moxon could have done, aud how I
WUIVA i/ij iiiunv o |/iulviv u ; I
. I heard of a doctor's wife once who,
gave a supper and colored all the jellies
on the table with some pink stuff she
found in the surgery, and the next day
every one *as so violently ill that her |
husb;ind could not go to bed for three j
mights, but had to spend all his time
ministering to his ex-guests.
I kuew that Mrs. Moxon used to give
rwcll dinner-parties, and I used to wonder
if she artfully poisoned the entrees,
?ud, if so, what she did it with. I
One d:iy Uently came in looking rather
less blue than usual.
"Madge," he said, *' I have got a nice
new )\ T. (we used to call the patients
P. T.'s). and who do you think it is?"
I could not guess, so at last lie had to
tell me?Mr. Jerry Winterbottom, of
Barrowclough.
Mr. Jerry Winterbottom was enormously
rich, and influential, for besides
being a mill-owner he had a great deal
nf 1 find nnd lioiisft iironi'rtv. I lcnow
him aid his wife quite well by sight;
they were both very large, and people always
spoke of them as "a tine couple"? I
in appearance, at least, they were very imposing.
They had the biggest horses and
the tallest footmen in Brad;.am, and only
one child to leave everything to.
"Young Jerry," as he was always
called, was about twenty-four, and quite
different from his parents. He was small
and slight and delicate, with deep set
eyes that were never still, but always
glancing nervously about.
His father and mother were devoted to
him, but I don't think they understood
him in the least; they were always trying
to make him as pretentious as themsel ves,
and push him forward, when all he
wanted was to be left iu peace in the
background.
He might have been very happy, for he
Joved books, music and painting, and
bad money to indulge his tastes in all
three; but Mr. Winterbottom did not
pprove of what he called '-artistic
trash," and was always wanting to stir
Jerry up, and make him take an interest
in politics; he actually had an idea at
one time of making him stand for the
borough!
Mrs. Winterbottom was just as bad, 1
and the two used to badger and worry
that poor boy (all from a mistaken notion
of what was good for him) till I think ,
they made him as unhappy as a boy
eouia oc. io crown an, they set their
hearts on his marrying Charlotte Porritt,
the daughter of Mr. Winterbottom's
partner. Charlotte was a young woman
of the style onlled ''dashing." with big
black eyes and a loud voice. Young
Jerry hated her, and opposed his parents
to the limit of his feeble will; then lie
gave in.
Just when they had wrung a promise
,from him to propose to Charlotte, he fell
ill of a kind of intermittent fever, and
then it was they called in Bcntly. Though
Jerry was ill. he was not so bad as to be
confined to the house altogether; sometimes
he had to stop in and lie on a sofa,
but sometimes he was strong enough to
on nut ;mrl walk nhont. Rentlv said he
was not to be worried or contradicted at
all, but must be allowed to do just what
he liked, and to amuse himself as much
ax possible.
One day, my husband told me that
Mr. and Mrs. Wintcrbottom were going
to call on me. I suppose I made rather
a face, for he said, u little sharply:
"Now do be careful what you say and
how you behave, they are the best patients
I have; and please lie amiable and
conciliatory even if they do patronize a
little."
I was as anxious to secure their good
will as he was, for I knew what an influential
c oilnection theirs was: so I
determined when they came to put 011
my prettiest manners.
The day after the announcement of
their approaching visit was made, was
pouring wet, so wet that nobody
would have thought of going cut. Lizzie
racres just ran in after lunch, and
wo sat gossiping over the fire till
about three, then I suddenly snid:
"No one will call to day. I shall wash
my hair."
I have an inconvenient amount of hair,
aud it is a very serious ail'air to wash it.
I TV..I1 T n cSttinrr r?n tVin r?rl (Tft nf thfi
TT l'ilp 1 nrno otvviuu, v?? i?*v ?
fender, in an old red rag of a dressinggown,
with all my tresses in wet rat-tails
about ray shoulders, and a towel in my
hand, when there came a tremendous
ring at the front-door bell.
We were in the dining-room, I must
tell you, and there was uo fire in the
drawing-room.
The peal had hardly died away, when
we heard heavy footsteps, and Sarah's
vnicn in smbrhtlv toDCS Of WelC01UC,
~f-0 <!
saying1:
"Oh, yes nnim! She's at home!''
I gave one glance of agony at Lizzie,
and then sprang wildly into a large cuphoard
where we kept jam and newsI
papers, and drew the door to after me. i
In this cupboard was another door
opening into the surgery, and my idea |
had been to escape through it and up
tlie back stairs, then, after a few minutes
spent on a hurried toilet, I could dc- |
' scend gracefully attired. During those (
I few minutes Lizzie would entertain the i
visitors. |
Imagine my horror when I found the ,
door of exit locked, while, oh! dismal I
truth! the visitors were none other than I
the Jerry Wintci bottoms, before whom I ,
could not appear in my eccentric cos- ,
tume.
Lizzie, who had divined my plan of escape,
but who was, of course, ignorant of
its frustration, beo-an to converse in the i
most, elegant manner, and confirmed Sa- 1
rah's statement that I was at home, adding
that I would be down in a moment,
having just been called to the nursery!
This was all very welfcfor five, for ten,
even for fifteen minutes; but at last the
conversation, whic-lx had been getting
more and more jerky and disconnected,
stopped altogether, and a painful silence
fell.
]Jy and by the distraught Elizabeth
spoke again.
'I do not think the maid can have told
Mrs. Ellis you were here. If you will
excuse me, I will go and see."
Then I heard her leave the room, and
Airs Jcrrv s.iv to Mr. .Tcrrv:
"V-V J
"IIow very extra ruinarv! Do you
think anything has happened? Do you
think she hus gone mad? I have heard
from one or two people that she is a little
queer."
I had to bite ray tongue to prevent myself
from screaming out "Wliof"?at the
idea of people being so horrid as to say I
was "queer," just because I kent myself
to myself, as our old nurse useu to say.
"Such conduct is more thau queer, it
is impudent," answered her husband in
his most pompous tones; "but if this
rudeness is intentional I shall know how
to punish it."
Then I heard hurried footsteps passing
to and fro overhead: thev were evidently
seeking me?it was too terrible? I dared
not move or make a sound, and I was so
unhappy!
Presently Lizzie came back, and said,
in a troubled voice:
"I am very sorry. I am afraid there
has been some mistake. The servant
misunderstood. Mrs. Ellis is not at
home.
''Not at home!" echoed Mr. Winterbottom;
"why, you told me she was
yourself."
' T know?buH?but she?she must
have gone out!"
"Gone out!" cried Mr. Winterbottom.
"Come, my dear, there is no mistake
about that, we won't intrude any longer."
And the pair swept out of the room.
Lizzie followed them, and she and
nurse having come to the conclusion
that I must somehow have slipped out of
the house and perhaps gone to Mrs.
Dacres', went home, and I was left in my
dark corner sobbing with misery.
What would Bcntly say? his best patients
mortally offended! I was too unhappy
to make any effort to attract attention,
but lay huddled up among the old
I/tnceta and Daily Te'rgritj'hs, when the
bell rang again, and this time some one
went into the consulting room, gavmg;
"Very well, I will wait."
I could hear this person fid go ting
abour, taking the books from the shelves,
and opening and shutting the drawers in
the escritoire.
I was just thinkinc how inquisitive it
was, and how annoyed Bentlv would be
at such behavior, when the new-comer
walked into the surgery. There was a
? M.. -flic* u-oll nnfl tlirmitrh it T
wiuu ciauiv iix iiiv ?..v%
could see that the prying individual was
young Jerry Winterboitom. "Was I ever
to be delivered from that family?
1 thought he looked more than usually
flustered and odd, and he did not sit
still, hut pulled the bottles about just as
he had don: the books, and talked to
himself in a rambling, incoherent way;
then lie began to dance softly up and
down, lir?t on one le<f and then on the
other, and to make the most horrible
grimaces.
I was watching him intently, when
suddenly he caught sight of an instrument-ease
on the table; his eyes lighted
up, he pounced on it, opened it, and
drew out a knife, sharp aud awful look
iug.
lie ran his finger lightly up and down
the edge, laughing all the time. Then
he went up to the lopking-glass and unbuttoned
his coll ir?he was going to cut
his throat!
I was so scared that I could not articulate;
but 1 thing myself aga:n?t the door
and yelled a wild, unearthly yell.
This, coming as it apparently did from
nowhere at all, frightened him so that he
dropped the knife and sprang back ii.to
a corner, where he crouched, rolling his
eyes and trembling with terror.
I kept on shrieking as loudly as ever I
coidd, but I don't believe the servants
would ever have heard nie, and I should
have gone as mad as Jerry himself, if
Timothy Donovan, an Irish laborer, had
not happened to comc in for his mother's
mcdiciue.
He th iught Mr. Winterbottom had got
an attack of "the horrors," a malady with
which he was familiar, and on whose
treatment he had ideas of his own. He
called in Edward, the page, aud between
r..u~...v o.,,l
infill uiey ueu uiu j>um itimn ? ??ma ?..?,?
legs securely. They had just finished
when Beutly appeared, in time to hear
my last feeble scream before I faiuted.
The Winterbottoms were awfully
kind; they declared I had saved their
son's life, and that lientlv saved it again
when he pulled him through his brain
fever.
AVhen Jerry was convalescent he went
abroad with my husband lor a six months' |
tour. Of course I hated parting from I
Bcntly, but I knew it was a splendid I
thing for him. Afterwards he sold the |
Brad ham practice and Mr. Winterbottom
hi-lpe'l him into one in London, where he ,
is getting on splendidly.
Voting Winterbottom is a different;
fellow now; his father and mother let:
.1 _ ? l.- 1:1.?? I
mill 111) JUM *17> lie llM3t UI1VA um, I.UH.U- j
qinmce is that he is going to turn out a
very good artist.
..'crry has a stii'lio near us in Kensington.
and comes often to see us. The
most interesting thing of all is, that he !
has fallen in love with Lizzie Daeres, and
thev are to he married in the spring. The
old people are delighted.?Independent. 1
There is abundant proof that human ;
life is lengthened with tho development i
of the arts of civilization.
-j:' .j.--',
AN APACHE RAID.
NINE INDIANS BESIEGE ONE
| WHITE MAN IN HIS RANCH.
The WlHte Man's Brave Defense?
The Redskins Hastily With* ]
draw After Losing Three
Out of Their Number.
i . i
A recent letter from Tucson, Arizona, <
to the New York Hun .says: Old Jeff <
Sampson, whose ranch was in the track |
' taken by the last gang of renegade
j Apaches, came into town this week,
thereby proving that the general belief
: that his hair had been raised on the raid ,
was unfounded. j
I Jeff escaped the red raiders, but he had .
a close call. In fact, he came in to have ]
an Apache bullet dug out of his thigh. .
He did not know the Indians were off
the reservation, and their appearancc in .
the vicinity of his ranch was a surprise. (
I He and a man named Watkins were out (
looking after cattle one morning when ?
they saw nine Apaches come out of an ,
arroya upon the mesa not more than five ,
hundred yards away. It required but one
glance to satisfy Jeff that the redskins
were out for mischief, and as there was
no cover behind which to fight with any
chance of avoiding their bullets, he yelled
to Watkins to go for the ranch, and dug
his heels into his broncho's flanks. The
Apaches yelled and followed, and a race
for life began.
Sampson's ranch is an adobe house, surrounded
by a stockade corral, and once
inside he could stand off a bigger band
of Indians than the one at his heels. It
was five miles to the corral, and the white
men's horses were not in the best condi- I
tion for such a race. The Indian ponies :
gained on them gradually, and as the \
range decreased, the Apaches opened (ire. ?
But they could not shoot accurately, and ,
their bullets went wide of the mark un- ,
til, when within a mile of the ranch, a ,
chance shot caught Watkins between the ,
shoulder blades, and he pitched from j
the saddle dead. J
Sampson pulled up long enough to sec \
whether Watkins was merely wounded ,
and disabled, intending to help him in if j
possible, or to put a merciful bullet ]
through his brain if he was wounded j
past help and liable to livo long enough (
to be tortured. "When he saw that Wat- ?
kins was dead, he resumed his flight,
but the Apaches had gained on him dur- ?
ing his delay, and, wften witnin miy |
yards of the corral, a. ball broke one of j
his horse's legs, and he had to jump from 3
the saddle and run for his life. He ^
reached the stockade, sprang inside, and j
swung the gate to its place, but a bullet t
got in before the gate was closed and T
buried itself in his thigh. It was a forty- f
four calibre revolver bullet. (Sampson t
threw the heavy bar into the socket, s
drove in a pin to make it fast, and ran s
into the adobe, while the Apaches yelled '
and lired their guns outside. * 1
In the house he was all alone, but he
had arms, ammunition, and plenty of
food and water, and was confident that f
he could stand a siege if the band should ,
not be re-enforced. He tied a suspender
around his thigh and twisted it with a f
gtick to stop the bleeding, keeping an
eye at the loophole to be prepared for v
tricks. The Apaches rode arouud the 1
corral, whooping and yelling and looking
for a weak spot. Sampson held his T
Winchester ready and waited for some- ?
thing to turn up. In a moment there *;
was loud whooping on the north side of J
the corral. Sampson did not pay any
attention to that. lie watched keenly
the south side, and something turned up
there. The heads and shoulders of two f
painted scampi turned up over the stockade.
They stood up iu their saddles and 1
so readied the top. Jeff turned the s
Winchester loose, and one of the pair r
fell to the ground with a broken shoul- ?
der. The other disappeared unharmed. 1
Then Jell jumped to tnc nortn wmaow i:
and clipped the ear of a gentleman from !'
San Carlos who was getting over the f
fence. .
His activity discouraged that plan of ['
attack, and there was a lull in the storm
of howls for a few minutes. Then be- =
gand the sound of chopping at the gate. 1
Two of the party were evidently trying :
to hack through to the bar with their 1
hatchets. Jell reached for his Spring- c
field, that carried a heavy ball and ninety .v
grains of powder. lie listened to the !;
the chopping until he located the spot J"
where the blows fell. He judged that the '
Apache was probably right-handed, and
was standing just behind the ten-inch s
gate post. He drew a bead on the post e
anil pressed tlie trigger, i ue cnopping
ceased, ami Jeff subsequently found 1
that the ball went through the soft wood !"
and borcl a hole in the abdomen of one !
of the choppers. If anybody will go to *
the ranch Jeff will point with pride to
that hole in the post.
That experience made the Indians wary 1
of indicating their positions near the
stockade, and the seven remaining warriors
withdrew out of range to think
- - . . ? X, (
tilings over, Jen Kept 111s eye on mem v
until he saw them dismount and disap- t
pear behind clumps of cactus, and then I
he watched with redoubled vigilance for (the
next move in the game. t
For an hour all was ?juiet, and .Jeff had f
time to bandage liis wounded thigh in ?
better shape and bathe it in cold water. 1
On the slope of a low hiil that was visible over
the corral from the window of the j ?
adobe was a stump big enough to shelter jr
two men, if they were careful. Jell !)
chuckled when he saw two A parlies |'
crawling around to get behind that '
stump. It was distant about 300 yards, 1
and JclT had used it as a target so often 1
that he knew its exact range and the elc- c
vatiou of his Winchester sight necessary I
' > TJ?i dill tiof tri' tn nri'Vi'iit I t
IU Il'Ul ll It iiu um uw? w , w
the redskins from getting behind it. He '
wanted them there. <
They got there all right, and then r
worked their little game. About 200 1
yards to the left of the stump the rest of 1
the gang gathered in a hollow, and by '
waving their head feathers above shelter 1
tried to draw .left's fire, and induce him <]
to expose himself at the window, lie i
saw the game, and fell in with it to the 1
extent of taking a random shot toward 11
the hollow. As soon as he fired lie threw ?
another cartridge into the chamber by l v
the lever, and drew a bead on the edge of 1'
the stump. An Apache head was poked
out as he exnected. and a Winchester
ball went through it, <|iiite unexpectedly
to the owner of the head. J
Then Jc.T took the Springfield, so as \
not to disturb the sights on the Win- I
Chester, and practiced drop shots into 1
the hollow until the live Apaches were I
glad to got out of it on their stomachs, g
An occasional thud of a bullet into the It
stump kept the fellow behind it reminded Is
of the advisability of not showing up. i \
At last this baud moved back to where 11
they had left their horses, mounted and s
prepared to leave, but it was evident that i
they wanted to get the buck from behind i
ai. .i T?(f T,.,1C rlntnrmined that f
MUUip. MVil ?? %%..?
lie shouldn't get away. The baud roilc u
down within long rifle range and opened t
a rattling lire on the adobe by way of i
diversion. Jeff wouldn't be diverted, i
ITc kopt his cyeto the Winchester sights, [
the sights on the stump, and his linger ; (
on the trigger. The Apache in a trap j
concluded to make a bold break, ana
sprang from bcumd the stump on the opposite
side to the band. That was just
where Jeff expected him to appear, and
he hadn't got three feet from the stump
when the Winchester cracked. The
Apache bounded into the air and pitched
forward upon his head with a hole clear
through his body.
That ended the siege, and the six live
[ndians hastened out of the neighborhood,
one with a broken shoulder, taking
Dne soalp and leaving three unhandsome
:orpies as the result of their raid on Jeff 1
Qntnncrtti'a ronoVi
Trials of a Consul.
A young fellow, writes an attache to 1
in American consulate in England, unmistakably
a Bowery boy, swaggered in I
ind demanded to be sent home. I found .
lie had no claim, aud denied him. He
was persistent, and finally insolent, aud
told me he knew the ropes well; that he
svastoo fly for me; that he knew "de
Government give me $300 a year to send J
de boys home, and I didn't send 'cm to
swag de tin." I called the bouncer, a
necessary appendage to a seaport con- I
sulate, for whom the Government ought
to make an appropriation, and hud him I
thrown out. But he was the avant-garde '
sf an army. Within two hours live
fellows, one after another, ami, with cunuing
effrontery, or insolcnce, according ;
to their natures, informed me that they
knew all about it; that the fewer I sent
to the States, the more money I made, and
that I had better not carry it too far. |
Fhis was getting interesting, and the <
lext applicant for part of the hoard that ]
[ was robbing the poor of was closely <
questioned. After a long and searching
Inquiry I found that an old snilor whom ]
[ had the day before refused a sixpence
:or beer was buttonholing every old cast- ]
iway and beach comer on the quays and f
saying: "Go to the Yankee Consul if you
(rant a soft berth. lie gets a lot of <
nonev to send poor fellows to the States,
md he's pocketing most of it; but if <
jou shove him hard enough lie's bound to
>end you." This was an ingenious vengeince,
wasn't it? And it gave me
;roublc for months. Indeed, after a ,
rear a "Boston boy," as he, with visible (
iwnllinnr. informed me. seemed utterlv
leart-broken that he had been misinformed
in the streets about his chances
)f getting home. He earnestly begged
i shilling to get some supper, which I
jave him. He left me, and, as I accilentally
noticed through the -window,
oined a particularly indurated old shelljack.
So I followed them, and, as I
upposed, they sought the first bar. I
vent after them and quietly demanded
ny shilling back, under pain of prosecuion
for 'obtaining money under false
jretenses; but the Boston boy nonchannf
Itr in mo < l?o f V* a u?na l\n inf?
liUUJ 1U1V11UVU 1MV> IliU W tlV '? UC MVlUg rented
by the other fel!ow, find that my
hilling was safe in his pocket, where it
hould remain. While I was hunting a
toliceman he got away.
Bread Making.
A barrel of good flour should make j
rom 270 to 285 five-cent loaves. Many *
takers blend four brands, as two Minne- 1
ota springs and two Indiana winters,
tefore they get the right alloy. Others ?
ise only one grade of spring and two of '
vinter wheat. These make the best
trands of fancy bread. Formerly yeast
iras made of malt, potatoes and hops, 1
,nd is extensively used. Fancy bread
takers use a patent yellow compressed
east. It is popularly supposed that r
takers use alum extensively in order to v
rhiten their bread. That is not the fact. J
riicrc is no necessity for the use of alum,
nd it is not used in the trade. There
rc about twenty large steam bakeries in
sew York, which give employment to I
evcral hundred men. One of these, a v
[Otecl Broadway establishment, makes a | i
pecialty of Vienna bread and docs ail 8
inniensc business. Vienna bread is '
nade in air-tight ovens, of the
>est grade of flour, and milk is used intend
of water in mixing the dough. In v
Hiking, the steam settles back on the
read instead of escaping. This makes I
he outer crust thin and tender, and
fives the bread a peculiar rich taste and ('
feasant aroma. What is known to the
rade as "steam'' bread is another recent *
nvention. It is made of the very finest f
if Hour and baked in air-tight pans, s
rhich inclose it on all sides. It is thus j
Hiked in its own steam, and possesses a v
lavor peculiarly its own. One very large '
Hikery in New York is devoted solely to i
he production of aerated bread. It is a I
team factory, and the bread so made is I.
xtremely light and spongy. Tiic invon- i
ion is an English one, but has been in
ise here for years. When the dough has
\ 1 ? AAncicfnn/tir if- ic run
CUCIICU ?l I'l'iUUU i. <g 4c*.?
iito an air-tight cylinder and strongly |
niprcgnatcd with carbonic acid gas. ?
I'his creates the lightness andsponginess v
vithout detracting in the slightest from f
ts nutritious qualities.?Milling World, f
The Joke Put On the Lawyer. |
Leslie Coombs, a great friend of Henry
/lay, and a popular stump speaker, used t
o tell a good story about Counselor I
Iiggins. He was exceedingly adroit in
lefending a prisoner, and would some- jimes
almost laugh down an indictment
or a small offense. A fellow (one
Smith) being on trial for stealing a tur- 1
:ey, the Counselor attempted to give a
rood-humored turn to the affair. "Why,
fcntlemen of the jury," said he, " this is
eally a small affair; I wonder any one ?
vould bring such a complaint into court; J
( ivp nrn trninir on at this rate we shall
lave business enough on our hands.
iVliy, I recollect when I was at college
lothing was more common than to go J
?ut foraging. We did not get the J
joultry too often in tlie same place, and 1
here was no harm done, no fault found." 0
Notwithstanding this appeal, the jury 1
:onvicted the prisoner. After the court
ose, one of the jury, a plain old farmer, [
nceting the Counselor, complimented
lis ingenuity in the defense. '"And now,
Squire.''said he fixing a knowing look *
ipon him, "I should like to ask you a J
[iiestion; which ro.id ilo yo:i take in i?ro- * '
..... fl>.. imiwr or Inwcr?" "The
...
ower.'" answered the Counselor. "Well. E
lien, it's no matter; I only wanted to s
observe that if you were going my way I c
would just jog on before and lock up v.iy
leu house."?Ben: Parley Poore. ''
Pulque Plants.
Interesting examples of the ayave
Americana, the variety of the century r
>lant from which pulque is made, are to *
>e seen in the windows of a Boston store. 1
Those plants, says the Boston Herald, aro
)ut infants, however; in Mexico they 1
;row to enormous size, something like
ight to ten feet high, and the tlowcr a
talk, with its clusters of beautiful puie '
vhite blossoms, shoots up to a height of c
welve to fifteen feet. The plant blosomswhen
seven years old, or so; that is, 1
f let alone. On the pulque plantations
t is not permitted to blossom; when the f
lower stalk begins to form it is cut away 1
mil a large, cuplike cavity made into 6
lie soft heart of the plant, which tills
with the sap and is emptied once or twice
i day. This sap, fermented, forms the
)opu'ar Mexican beverage called pulque
pronounced pull-keh). 1
? ~ I
BUDIiEi OF rlJJN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
A Fishing Excursion ? Unevenly 1
Matched?No Good?Everything
but Cabbage ? Nothing
Like a Boom, Etc. *
i
"My dear girl," said a fond father to
bis daughter, "surely you're not going 1
to take all those trunks to Saratoga with
you?'' ?
"Yes, papa, every one, and they are few *
enough."
"But what in the world have you got s
jot in'em?" t
"Bait, papa," answered the dear girl t
brightly.?New York San.
f
Unevenly Matched. ^
Irate Customer?"Won't trust me for i
& pound of butter? Won't trust me, eh?
Big Grocer?"See here, if you want to
ngiu aoouu 11, jusi on wim your coar. '
"Oh, well, wheu it comes to that, a j
fight in this store wouldn't be an even t
thing, you know."
"Oh, it wouldn't?"
"No; you've got your butter to back ,
you."?Omaha World.
No Good. j|
Barber (expatiating ou matters and
things in general)?"Colonel Jaggersisa
gentleman and if he is not in the Legislature
next year it'll be because he doesn't
want to go."
Victim (languidly)?"I have heard
McReilly mentioned?''
Barber (contemptuously)?Pooh! McReilly!
Beg pardon, sir, but he's abjolutely
no good."
Victim (with interest)?"Hasn't been s
ioing anything wrong, has he?" I
Pnrltnr nnftindr cnr\m\
AJiMk UV/I ^"*IU VUiWU^j BVWiuy 5
shaves himself, sir!"?Philadelphia Call j
A Straw Hat Flavor. c
Little Nellie, five years old, went to (
walk on Sunday afternoon with her par- i
;nts. The party strolled along the bank I
)f the reservoir, concerning the use of ?
which Nellie asked many questions, t
While they were there they witnessed an ?
exciting episode?a small boy's straw t
11 .it L' i j xi A
iai was uiown ou ins neuu into me res;rvoir
and fished out with no little diffi- t
;ulty with the aid of a long pole. (
That evening at supper, as Nellie was t
3rinking water from a glass, she asked: t
"Is this water the same a3 the water q
jp in the reservoir?" f
"Yes dear." I
Nellie smacked her lips in an experi- I
nental way, and with a slight expression r
i displeasure. r
"Well," she said, "I think it tastes v
;ome of straw hat!"?Boston Transcript. "N
o
Anything But Cabbage. I
At the recent entertainment of the c
Slks in this city a small boy showed up i J.
or dinner, without either of his parents,
vho were stopping at the house. j 8
"What will you have for dinner?" ja
isked the colored waiter as he placed a i a
.:n t , .m.ll I V
Jill Ui lUlU UVJ1W1C IUU OllJUll ^U^l,
The infant looked it over for a moment, j "
hen run a cheerfully dirty forefinger
hrough the entire list.
"Bring it all,'' he said in a tone of au- i ?
hority, *' 'ccpt cabbage. Cabbage alius j
nakes me sick, an' 1 promised mam' 11 ?
vouldn't get sick this trip, no who w."? J,
Detroit Free Frets.
a
Nothing: Like a Boom.
A man who had not been in a certain j,
Dakota town for something over a year, j
vas recently talking witli a man who t
5vott nnrl linnnnnnrl tn rr?fpr tn thn
treani the place is situated on as a ?
'creek." *
"That's no creek," said the native.
"They called it Buffalo Wallow creek
vhen I was there before."
"Oh, well, that's all right, but it's 1
Jig Buffalo river now." ! a
"I don't see what could make the f
inference." ' o
"lean?that was before the boom, it: t
vas a creek then, but you bet it's a big I a
lowing river with catfish and a sea I c
erpent in it now! Just read the local J l
taper and learn about the 'immense | c
rater-power' it furnishes, and how It is 1 h
an important factor in settling the vexed i;
nterstnte commercc law complications.' v
tell you there's nothing like a boom to p
>ring out the good points of things."? ii
Dakota Bell. j t
The Milkman's Cold Nerve. ! v
"Talk abcut ft man with an eye to a
msiness," remarked a St. Paul (man, j A
'there is a milkman in the Saintly City j;
vho puts them all to sleep. I have been ! ?
akingmilk from him for some time. Aj<^
e\v days ago I discovered, a tish in the , I
acteal fluid. The next morning I in-! C
oimed him of the fact. . j J;
" 'Is that so?" unconcernedly remarked p
he dispenser of milk as he jingled his j
>ell and drove away." ;
The next day he astounded me by
sresenting the following bill:
, in acct. with
Chalk Water, dealer in pure milk.
.'o 1 lb. tisli 12c. S
Rec'd pay't. | 5
. i >
" 'I didn't see the fish,' said he, 'but I |
fucss that's near enough."?Minneapolis p
rourml. , i
? ?
But Ho Is, Now. ' S
Mr. Stuylate has been entertaining Miss g
L.ila with an account of the doings of the -j
vit ('arson Kille Club, and is just enter- T
ng upon the preface to the introduction T
if the ninth chapter of the second vol- I
lute. > j v
Miss Lila (with weary but heroic in- y
crest).?"And you arc a good shot, Mr. I
Stay late?''
Mr. Stay late (modestly).?"Well, raw- '
her; they do say that yours truly spoils n
lie bull's eye every time he draws a n
lead." i ?
Miss Lila.?"I should think you would
nake a splendid target. (Appalled
ilence of an interrogatory nature). He- ?
ause you never would be missed." ?
And after that, like a good smooth- ;l
tore, be went off.?Brooklyn Euylc. ; j,
' o
Sho Knew His Habits. ! c
"Seen anything of my husband?" de- a
nanded a Sioux Falls woman one day ti
his week of an oflicer in front of the a
lostotlice. r;
"No, ma'am; has lie disappeared mys-; M
eriously?" I]
"2s'aw! he came down town the same 0
s usual this morning, but dinner has jj
>eon ready a nour, and it's all getting 0
old, and he isn't back yet.'' J 0
"You have been to his ottice, I sup- s.
iosc?" # j 0i
"No, sir, I haven't. I've no tnno to n
ool away looking for him there. Say, : w
s there a sick horse at auy 01 me uvery i j\
tables?" ! Ci
' Not that I know of." f;
"Beeu any?log-fights around lately!" ; ji
"Haven't heard of any." p
" Any ten-ceut show or target gun in
;own?" ;
"All gone, madam." s]
"Any man in a wagon selling brass
jewelry!"
"Guess not!"
"No fire anywhere in town?"
"No." * ,
"No pools being sold anywhero on
some race-horse, or trial going on in jus;ice
court?" !
"Not any!"
"No man selling medicine on the 1
itreet, no circus hills just pasted up anyivhere,
no woman walking a tightrope?" '
"Not one." |
"Well, that's peculiar?I can't see
tvhere John can be."
"There's a couple of Frenchmen with 1
i tame cinnamon bear down on Phillips
ivenue, madam." i
"That's it, that's it?I didn't think to \
isk about tame bears! While the pota- i
oes are getting cold as a stoue he is {
lowu there making up a purse of seven- 1
y-five cents to see the bear climb a tele- i
jraph pole! I'll go right down?you
vatch and see if he isn't up to the house ,
nside ten minutes.!"?Dakota Bell. (
C
Old California HotcK <
"I was in California during the stir- <
ing days of 1851-2," said an old, tall, >
ank minstrel man who had been in Aus- <
ralia for the last twenty years, and who
ecently returned to this country to die, \
>eing afflicted with an incurable disease, j
'I was fourteen years old or so," he went (
>n to a reporter of the Syracuse Stand- \
ird, "and a hanger-on at my uncle's j
nining camp. We ran into San Fran- j
/ if- >3 T
:iscu lrt'tjuuuiiv, unu i suuii uc>ci iuijjci, j
lie attractions which two rival hotels of- ,
cred to the public to eclipse the other's <
jatronage. One of thera was known as
he Clean Shirt and the other as the j
Soldcn Eagle. The Clean Shirt started \
vith a small, one-horse brass band con- i
:ert on the balcony every eveuing, and >
Irew big crowds, including about all <
he Golden Eagle's guests. Pretty <
oon, however, the Clean Shirt be- j
>an to lose its boarders by the \
core without any apparent cause. The <
>ropnetor enlarged his brass band and j
>olished up his bar without effect. It
lidn't take him long to find out that the j
Jolden Eagle was having nightly cock- j
ng mains and (Jbgfights for the exclusive (
>enefit of her guests. Then the Clean ^
3hirt got back part of its custom by in- j
roducing private prize fights and slug- j
fing matches. It's a fact, gentlemen, j
hat when miners and others had personal ,
lifferences to settle they used to offer
heir services to the proprietor of the
}lean Shirt, who paid well for a fight,
he money going to the winner. Of course
hese exhibition were given in private
[uarters, and none but guests ana their
riends were admitted. The Golden
Sagle next enhanced its attractiveness
iy knocking out one end of the diningoom
and building on a stage and a greenoom
and other like accessories, and had
ariety performances at every meal.
Vomen were scarce in that part
f the country, and the Golden
Sagle'a half-dozen serio-comics, who
ame on from the Lord knows
rhere, proved a great card, a better one
han the Clean Shirt, with all its in;cnuity,
could play. One day, however,
desperado went into the Clean Shirt
nd shot a bartender, a phenomenon
rlimnf1r? it famous and nlnced it far "!
head of the Golden Eagle in the estimaion
of the traveling public. But the r
iroprietor of the Eagle was an ingenious,
nterprising cuss and saw his opporunity.
He headed a gang which went out
nd captured the murderer, and, bringtig
him back, strung him up on the 8
lining-room stage oneeveuing at supper,
ud all the guests, transient aud per- 1
nanent, were accorded the privilege of ,i
iring their revolvers at his dangling t
>ody. That wa9 a great day for Golden
]agle. One shot accidentally went ,
hrough the head of a waiter, and the
ntertainmcnt far exceeded the proprietor's
most sanguine expectations."
The World's Largest Cities.
The following information, says the i (
Ml Mull Gazette, is often inquired for, c
nd, as it may be useful in many cases
or reference, we have complied a table .
f the largest cities of the. world, with
I-..:- oc cfntnrl liv th<> l.lfpflt
HL'II jJUpUiUliVao C40 0t,uwvv? >yj
uthorities. In the absence of any official
ensus the Chinese cities have simply to *
ic estimated, and of course must be ac- 1
epted as an approximation only. We
lave not given any city whose population c
? below o00,000, though there are many a
i-e could enumerate which closely ap- s
iroacli that figure. It will be seen that
u the thirty-live cities tabulated below a
here are 32,510,319 souls, or nearly the (
lopulation of the British Isles, a fact i
vhich cannot be grasped in a moment by
ny ordinary intellect:
Litcbi, Japan 1,332,05'J ,
langkok, Siam 500,000
Brooklyn, N. Y. 771,00.) *
terlin, Pnissia 1,123,330 f
T ??:?t omw I
aicutta,
'anton, China 1,500,0:*)
Hmngchoofoo. China 1,000,WO
Chicago. Ill 715,00)
Constantinople, Turkey 700,00)
'oo-choo, China 630.000 ,
Hasgow, Scotland 514,048
lang-Chow-foo. China 000,00) r
lang-Tcheon, China 80 ),00) 1
lan^Kow. China 000.0 0 v
[ing-te-Chiang, China 500,000 j
iiverpool. England 573,000
<ondon, England 3,055,819 *
ladrid, Spain 500,5100 t
Iosco \v, Russia 011,074 i
few York, N. Y 1,400,000
'arls. France 2.26!!,OSi
'ekalonga. Java 505,*204 t
'okin. China 800,000 I 1
'hiladelphia, 1'enn 850,OiH) ! ?
t. Petersburg, Russia 7li0,!)ti4 j j,
artania, Japan i
ian, China 1,01)0,033 ?
t. Louis, Mo 500,001) t
'at-SSeen-Loo, China 500,000 a
'ien-Tsin, China 050,000 f
okio, Japan 087,887 I
schautchau-fu, China 1,1X 0,000 .
sin-Tehoo. China 800,000 11
ienna, Austria 720,105 v
I'oo-ehang, China 800,000 p
1 ' " * C
Shaving Dead Men. q
"I've been paid as high as $10, and ; o
ever less than for sluiving dead . s>
icn," said a Chicago barber to an Interh-enn
reporter. "That is the regular
rice and I won't take less."
"A funny thing happened once when I .
as workinsr in Pittsburg, Pa. One : ti
ight a rich iron man died on Oakland |
venue, and a colored barber went to fix I a
im up. When he had shaved one side ! SJ
f the face it was necessary to turn the j
orpse over. I suppose there was soino J
ir in the lungs, but anyway, wheu he i u
irned him over, the corpse gave an , SI
wful groan. The barber dropped the I
i/orand let out a yell that brought the 1
hole household to the spot on the run. ' P
Icfore anybody got there the barber was S1
ut of the house and down the avenue as j ~
' the 'old boy' was after him, and at |
very jump lie let out a screech. When |
nc of the men went into the room he j
iw the lazor and nearly half of the left I
ir of the corpse lying on the lloor. The n
i/.or had just happened to strike it ?v
hen the l>:irl-.er dropped it and ran. 1
l doctor was sent for, who sewed the 11
ir on, and then he sent for me. I
nished shaving the man, and left the
ouse with a crisp $10 bill in mvj ,,
ocket." ' | t(
e.
Happiness is not perfected until it i j ti
liarcd. I -
V?"
POPULAR SCIENCE
A shoemaker in Bingen has invented a
water-velocipede, with which he has
made successful trial trips.
A successful attempt to make a photograph
of a sunrise from the summit of
Pike's Peak has been made by C. F. Snyder,
a member of the Signal Corps.
Tidal observations on the eastern coast
oi America nave acquired. a new importance
since the Coast Survey has confirmed
by reccnt observations the older suggestion
that there are tidal fluxes in the Gulf
Stream.
An inclination of one inch in fifteen
miles is sufficient to give motion to water.
An inclination of three inches per
mile in a straight smooth channel will
jive a velocity of three miles per hour,
while three feet per mile would produce
i torrent.
An apparatus of iron and glass in
which a pressure of 1,000 atmospheres
:an be developed for the purpose of
jtudying the influence of great pressu.^e
jn animal life has been exhibited to bi
slogists in France. With it deep-sea ani
LLUW3 Cl&u UCUU3UIVCU uuuei lucir UttlUlM
compression. v;$d?
"White is usually defined as a combination
of all colors, and black as the absence
of color. Speaking accurately, an
object is white when it throws back all
tho rays of the light, and black when it
ibsorbs all. A blue object absorbs all
rays except the blue, which it reflects, a
red object reflects the red rays only, and
so on through all the colors and their
combinations.
The fact is noled that, in climates having
a difference of seventy degrees in
temperature between the hot and cold
seasons, a railroad track of the length of
100 miles is some 338 y ards longer in
summer than in winter: that is. though
if course the length of road remains tlie '
same, expansion forces the metal closer
:ogether, making an aggregate closing up
)f space between the rails of nearly a yard
ii each mile. ' *af
Some attention has b^en directed of
ate to the phenomenon, as observed, that
:he usual heat produced by friction is
:onspicuous by its absence when the ar;icles
are magnetized. An example of
;his kind, as described, is where a worknan
fastened a couple of powerful maglets
to his lathe to hold more securely a
)iece of metal which he was to drill and
;urn,the presence of the magnets kept the
netal so cold that no water was needed to
:eep the drill moist. .
Professor Harvey W. Wiley has been
ong in the employ of the Agricultural
Department at Washington, endeavoring
o master the whole subject of sugar from '
iorghum. He concludes that the formaion
of sucrose by the plant is only an ac- .'-v
:idental oradvantitious process, and only
>ccurs from waste material. He concludes
rom this fact that sugar from sorghum
vill never be an industry that anyone v ;
:an long engage in, as the results will be
nore or less accidental. Sometimes plant!
nay yield a good percentage of sugar, at
>ther timps none at all.
^
Facts About New York.
There are fifteen cemeteries near New
fork city.
There are eleven District Courts in the
netropolis.
Two hundred and thirty-five railroad
lompanies have offices here.
The Hebrew* residents of this city worhip
in thirty-two synagogues. ?
The colored population of the city
iftvfi six rh-.irehes in which to worship.
* > ^
There are twenty-four colleges and ."t
hcological seminaries iu New York.
The Commissioners of Charities and %
Correction have ton hospitals under their
;are.
There are forty-three life and eleven
narine insurance companies on Manhatan
Island. :
. '
Seventy-seven fire insurance companies
>ffer opportunities to guard against loss
>f local conflagration.
The General Post office is open at all
lours except on Sun lays, when it is .
ipen only between 'J aud 11 a. m.
There are thirty-live precinct station
louses, with several sub-stalions, for the
eception of the city's wrong doers.
Medical institutions, colleges and so:icties,
to the number of twenty-five, "^ 5
ibound in this city, aud there are forty
lix dispeusaries. '/?
The local mail is collected twelve times
i day, and is distributed eight times. '
)n Sundays three collections and no deiveries
are made. *
'
It is dangerous io carry big sums of ,
noney arouud in New York, and there
ire forty-nine national and twenty-two
avings banks in the city that will care
or it.?New York Sun.
The "Consumption Plant."
The natural history of the bacillus is
?? Tf-. nr>VPr OTOWS soon
aneously outride of an animal body. It
equires a temperature between 85 and
08 degrees Fahrenheit in order to deelop
it at all. It must remain full ten
lays in a moist situation at the temperaure
above stated before it shows any
endeney to increase or even fix itself in
ts proper soil. The heat of boiling
rater destroys the plant and its seeds
spores), but cold does not kill them,
'rom a considerat'on of these facts it
nay easily be seen how it is possible for
solated populations to escape the rava;es
of this disease for generations, and
lie region thus acquire a reputation as
nroner resort for such invalids, and the
urthcr fact that after consumptives have
availed it for a few seasons the native
nhabitants develop the affection from
r-hicli their ancestors were free. The
liiiit has been introduced and found a
ongenial soil for its growth, that is all.
'he"climate has not changed, as record*
f temperature, moisture, etc., deinontrate.
? 0 loin:-Democrat.
Tlic Smell of Paper Money.
In speaking of a recent defalcation at
iie Troy postoflice, a gentleman said:
It is never safe to inclose an old bill in
a envelope to be sent by mail. Why,"
lid he, "men who are experts can tell
'hetlier a letter contains money or not
mply by the sense of smell. If you will
otice an old greenback, it has a peculiar K
nell about it that, can readily be per-* I
jived,even if it be inclosed within a letter. B
: is better to send a registered letter or a - I
t.!ll L. I
ost:il note, or, if you mcnwe a uiu, ue
ire it is a new one. That will not smell."
-Albuiiy Jimniul.
Muzzling the Ox.
A Portland i .Maine) man who employed
number of small boys as berrvpickers
as nueli afraid they would be devoured
v mosquitoes. and induced them to wear
ctting over their faces, a contrivance
hieh they adopted with gratitude in
icir hearts until they discovered that
iicre were no mosquitoes to be seen, but
iiat the netting also proscribed berry jg
itinir.i. Then the infants made a concen- I
rated kick for freedom, nnd got there.
-Bod vi I