The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, May 05, 1886, Image 3
! IMAGE'S SERMON.
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IAUGHTER OF THE BIBLE.
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Text: "Then was our mouth fillel with
laughter."?Psalm, cxxvi, 2. "He that
-Sitteth in the heavens shall laugh."?Psalm
44 A
-X.
? Thirty-eight times in the Bible is reference
' made to this configuration of features and
quick expulsion of breath which we call
laughter. Sometimes it is born of the sunShine
and sometime? of the midnight. Some(bimes
it 'stirs the sympathies of angels and
sometimes the cachinnation of devils.
All healthy people laugh. Whether it please?
Or displeases God depends upon when we laugh
and at what we laugh. I propose this morning
to speak to you on the laughter of the
Biole, namely, Sarah's laugh, or the laugh of
scepticism; David's laugh, or that of spiritpal
exultation; the fool's laugh, or that of
Sinful merriment: God's laugh, or that of
(divineindignation: Heaven's laugh, or that
pf eternal triumph. Scene: An oriental
tent; the occupants,old Abraham and Sarah,
probably wrinkled and decrepit. Three
guests, one of them the Lord Almighty. To
repay these old people for their hospitality.
|3hod promises Sarah that she shall be the ancestress
of th9 Lord Jesus Christ. She laughs
in God's face. She does not believe it. Affrighted
at what she has done she says she
Tirtt. Inrxrh Then fiivl retorts with an
emphasis that silences all discussion: "but
thou didst laugh." And that sceptical laugh
Of Sarah's has had its echo in the scepticism
of all the ages. Gcd says He will accomplish
a certain thing. People say:
4,I don't believe it can be done: I don't believe
it will be done." People laugh at the
iniracles. They say "the miracles are contrary
to the laws of nature, and therefore
they are impossible." What is a law
of "nature? It is only God's way of
doing things. Ordinarily you cross
to New York on the bridge, Tomorrow
you decide to go by Wall Street
ferry. You formed your habit: you have
a right to change your habit. I ordinarily
enter the church by this
door (indicating.) Next Sabbath morning
I might enter it by that door (indicating). I
- J 1?u:4. T 1? ~ 4.^
lonueu iiijr iiauiu x lie***? a m^uu v*f tuau^o
my habit. A law of nature is God's habit.
His way of doing things. If He has a right to
form the habit He has a right to change
it whenever he chooses to change it. It is an
awful tiling for us to laugh back in the face
of God, ana say: "You can't do what You
said You would do;" or, ' You won't do it."
God says the Bible is true, it is all true.
Bishop Colenso laughs, HerWt Spencer
laiighs, John Stuart Mill laughs,
. some of the German universities
laueh, Harvard laughs softly, some
of the American institutions, with long rows
of professors seated on the fence between
Christianty and infidelity, laugh softly.
They say they did not laugh. Ah, that is
Sarah's old trick I For God thunders from
the Heavens, "thou didst laugh." The Garden
of Eden was only a fable. Noah's ark
was an impossibility for it could not have
talH t-urn nf ?nr-h IrinH Thp rWllnr nf firo hir
night was only the "northern lights." Jacob's
ladder was only horizontal and picturesque
clouds. The sea- parted only because the
,Wind blew a great while from one direction,
violently, and the sea could not help but
Separate. The ten plagues of Egypt were
only a brilliant "specimen of jugglery. The
destroying ansel smiting the first born
of Egypt was cnly cholera infantum become
epidemic, r The gullet of the whale by positive
measurement is too small to swallow a
prophet. Sun and moon did not put them
selves out or tne way lor josnua. The blind,
the lame, the halt, who were cured in Bible
times were not cured by supernatural power,
but by great skill of surgery. The resurrection
of Christ's friend was only a tableau.
Christ and Lazarus and Mary and Martha
only acted their parts well. Lazarus was
not dead. He only played dead. He was not
resurrected. He only played res jrre-ted. My
friends, there is not a statement in that book,
or a theory in that bsok, or a sentiment in
that book, or a fact in that book but has been
disputed and laughed at by modern scepticism.
Here is King James' translation. I believe
it to be a perfect Bible. Now let me
tear out all those portions of the Bible which
modern scepticism would have me tear out.
"Where shall we begin? "Well," says some
man: "Take out all that about the creation
and the settlement of the world." There
goes Genesis. "Well," says some one, "take
out next all that about the miraculous
guidance of the Israelites in the wilderness."
There goes Exodus. Says some man There
are things in Deuteronomy and the Kings
1 which are not fit to be read." Away go Deuteronomy
and the kings. Some man savs:
"Take that out which is only the fable" of
Job's writings.'1 Away goes Job. Sime
man says, "take out that from the New
Testament which declares the divinity of
Jesus Christ." Awav go the evangelists.
Somebody says: "That is absurd in the
work of Revelation about a man
with the moon under his feet and a sword
proceeding from his mouth." Away goes
Revelation. We have a few pieces left; whan
shall we do with them? Soms man says: "I
don't believe a word of the book from beginning
to end. It is all gone now. Oh, do you
not think we had better keep the Bible a lit- I
? > Ta. i j ? - i
ue urn)*wi luitt-o: it uasuone pretty well for
a pood many years; then there are some
old people who like to hold it
on their laps, and there are
children who like to read its stories. If the
Bible is-to be put away in the dark corner of
some city library, the Koran on one side and
the writings of Confucius on the other, perhaps
we had better keep one copy for ourselves,
for we might nave trouble and we
would want the delusion of its consolation,
and we might die and we would like to be
deluded with the story of high residence in
the presence of God. Oh, it is an
awful thing to throw back God's revelation
into His face, and say: "I don't believe
it" After a while, the day will come
when people will say. ''Ididnot lau<rh." Th^n
all the Hypercriticisms and the caricatures
and the sneers at the Bible will bo brought
into judgment, and amid the ro;king of
everything beneath, and amid the flamiug of
everything above, God will thunder from the
heavens: "That thou didst laugh." The
most fascinating laughter at Christianity that
I ever heard was Theodore Parker. I sat in the
hall in Boston and heard him make many of the
passages of the word of God seems absolutely
ridiculous,and that man wentjon laughing at
our holy Christianity until he came to die,
and then he said: "My lifehasbeena failure;
domestically a failure, I have no children;
c/vio 11 tr o ' '*? ? ?* Am~
?-aa j W4 cau mxj ime a pi rare
on tho street; professionally a failure, for I
know but one minister who has adopted my
sentiments." For twenty-five years that man
laughed at Christianity and Christianity has
ever since been laughing at him. Oh it is a
mean thing to go into a man's house
and steal his goods, but the most gigantic
burglary of the centurief is the atteinpt to
take away these treasures of the souL Of all
the laughter on earth or hell ever heard the
meanest laughter is the sceptic's laugh?proposing
to take our only consolation in trouble
and our only pillow in death and give us as a
substitute absolutely nothing.
The next laughter of the Bible that I notice
is David's laugn, or that of spiritual exultation.
He says: "Then was my mouth tilled
with laughter." You know he sometimes got
clear down, he was at times very melaucholy.
Then he rose up and in some chapters he calls
forth the people four or rive times to sing
and rejoice anl laugh. It is not merely the
teaching of the lips with him; it is a demonstration
that takes all his bodv and all I
his soul. "Then wa? my mouth filled with
laughter." My friends, if this world is ever
converted to God it will be because Christians
cry less and laugh more. The horrors
make a poor bait to fish with. People do
not want a morbid Christianity. I know
there are j eople so morbid in feeling that
they actually enjoy a funeral. They go
early to see the friends, take
leave of the corpse and then steal
a ride to the cemetery. But
the va-t majority of healthy people, all
healthy people, enjoy a wedding better than
they do a burial, and if you make religion
seprechral and hearse-likeyou make it repulsive.
So I say, plant rose of Sharon
along the walks of the church, ?nd
columbine to run on the walls of the church
and let there be a smile on the up,
and let there be holy laughter in the
souL I think that a christian is the only man
who has a right to untrammeled glee, lor he
is promised that ail things are for the best in
this world, and lie is on his way to a delight
which it will take all the processions with
palm branches, and all the orchestras, harped
and cymbaled and trumpted, to express. Kejoice
evermore, and again I say rejoice.
The merriest laughter I have ever .
heard has been in the sick room of God's
dear children. Theodosius was put upon
the rack for Christ's sake. He gave an
account of it aftervrard and said: "When J
was put on the rack I suffered awfully, but a
young man in white came with a sort and
comfortable handkerchief and wiped my
forehead, and my sufferings were alleviated,
and it was an actual punishment for me to be
taken off the rack, for as soon a? all the
suffering was gone the angel was
ffone." And last Friday night standing by
the dying bed of a Christian, I said to him:
"What word will you seni to the church
service where I am goina; to-night?" and, rallying
all his energ;es, and his face shining
like heaven, he said: "Tell them to be of
good cheer." "Oh," says some one, "I have
so many troubles, and so many sicknesses,
and so many persecutions, and
so many trials; that doctrine won't
do for me." Have you it any
"worse than Paul had it? Driven out. persecuted.
tried, suit upon, slain. Yet, hear him
say: "Sorrowful yet rejoicing.poor yet making
many rich, having nothing yet possessing
all things." Why, sometimes, my friends,
there is more religion in a lau^h than in a
groan. Anybodv can groan, but to laugh in
the midst of trial and persecution and suffer
ing, it takes a David, a Daniel, a Paul, a
mo lern heroine to do t-hit
The next laugh of the Bible that I shall
mention is the tool's laugh, or the expression
of sinful merriment. Solomon was veryquick
at a simile and when he makes a comparison
everybody catches it right away.
Solomon, what is a fool's laugh like? He answers:
"The crackling of thorns under a
Eot." The kettle is swung, a bunch of
rambles is put under it, a t>rch is applied,
there is a great blaze and a big noise
and a solutter. and a quick extinguishment,
and it is darker than it was before. A
fooi's laughter. The most miserable thing on
earth is a bad man's fun. Ten men in a barroom
and an impure joke starts at one end of
the barroom, and crackle, crackle, crackle it
goes all around. In 500 such guffaws not one
eloment of happiness. They all feel be-neaned,
for they have wives, mothers, daughters at
home. I have not any faith in either a man's
Christian character or common
morality, who either tells or
laughs at an impure ."joke. Men
and women are no better than their conversation.
If you love to tell or love to hear
impure jokes it is because you are depraved.
Yet there are men who call themselves gentlemen
who indulge in impure conversation,
and laugh at impure jokes; and I have been
told that in womanly circles there are
those who call themselves la lies, yet who
tell impure stories, or laugh at them
when they are told. They are
half harlots, incipient Magdalens?
under powerful temptation they would
become waifs of the street. Beware
of man or woimr i who tells or laughs at an
impure joke. It is the fool's laughter, "the
crackling of thorns under a pot." So also all
merriment that is made at the frailties, at
the misfortunes,of others. The caricature of
a lame foot, or a curved spin?, or a blind eye
or a deaf ear. God will write it
out; in .luagmenc eituer 10 you or
vour chlliren. Twenty years ago
t saw a mau very skillfully mimic his neighbor's
lame foot. He did it with wonderful
skill. Not long ago, th; son of that skillful
mimic ha 1 his Te? amputate! for the very*infirmicy
that the father had caricatured in the
neighbor years ago. I do not say it was a
judgment of God. You can say what you
please. But I say beware, look out how you
cari-ature the infirmities of others. It is the
fools laughter. So is also all themorriment that
is aroused from dissipation, that starts from
the drinking restaurant or from the wine cup
of the social circle, the simpering and the saturnine
gibberish, the laughter at nothing.
which you sometimes hear after the wine has
taken its effect in the social circle or in the
club room. It is all the laughter of the fool.
When I was a lad a book was published
called "Dow Junior's Sermons." It had a large
circulation; it made everybody laugh; it was
considered a very witty and funny thing. I
had a copy presented to me in my childhood.
I read it. The whols book was a caricature
of the church, of the ministry, of
the Biblean loftheDgtyof Judgment. Oh,how
the world laughed at it. Tho commentary of
the whole thing is that the author of that
book not long ago died in poverty, shame,
debauch. Kicked out of decent society and
under the curse of Almighty God.
I charge on the young people of this
congregation, in the preseace of Almighty
God, have nothing to do with these styles of
mirth that I have been speaking of. It despoils
the character. If your lips are not
pure it is because your heart is rotten.
The next laughter of the Bible that I speak
of is God's laugh of indignation. The Bible
savs: *'He that sitteth in the heavens shall
laugh." It says in another place: "The Lord '
shail laugh." In another place it says: "I
will laugh at vour calamity." With that
demonstration God meets great sins and wickedness.
Here is a man building up his villainies.
It seems as if he has beaten
the Lord because of his successful schemes.
I can show you men in Brooklyn and New
York now who are going right
on building up their villanies, and they seem
iaj uu aiittcouui. uuu v> ait?. rvLLei anmio
the pin will get out of the machinery of
wickednesss or the fatal secret will be told
and everything will go into demolition. The
crash of the ruin will be the reverberation
of the wia*h of God's indication. Wall
street is a great place for good men and for
bad men. There are no better men in the
world tban you will find in Wall street and .
no worse men. A fraudulent man of
that street says: ''I mean to get a million
dollars and I don't care how I get them."
Reckless of all the laws of honesty, he goes
ahead and he gets his $100,001). He goes on
and he gets his $200,000. He gees on until ha
gets his ?500,000. Now," he says, "I have
but one more stroke to make and then I'll
have my million." He gathers together all his
resources. He ris'.cs everything on one grand
throw. He lose?. He fails. He has not actually
enough money of his own to pay his car
fare home. What is the matter? You say,
"great stir in Erie railway stocks," or, "jjreat
stir in Western Union," or, "great stir in
Illinois Central," or you charge it to this
speculator or that speculator. Thev all
guess and they guess wrong. I will tell
you what was the matter. He that
sitteth in the Heavens laughed. A man
in New York, years ago, resolved to be the
wealthiest man in the city. He left his honest
work as a chairmaker, went into politics,
got elected to the city councils and in ten
years stole from the city government $15,000,1)00,
He held the Legislature of tha State
of New York in the grip of his right hand.
After a while suspicion was arousid. The
(riaad Jury brought in an indictmeut.
The whole land stood aghast. That
mau who expected to put half of New York
in his vest pocket gcos to Ludlow Street jail,
goes to Blackweli's Island, escaping prison
crosses the ocean, is rearrested, comes back,
is reimprisoued anri dies there. Why? He
thatsitteth in the heavens laughed. Rome
was a great empire. She had Horace and
Virgil among her poets; she had Augustus and
Con stantine among her emperors. But why
the defaced Pantheon? why the broken walis
of the Coliseum' why the forum tuuned into
a cattle market? "Why the architectural skeleton
; of her acqueducts? What is that thunder?
You say it is the battering rams coming
against her walls. No. Whatis thatauiverine?
You say it is the tramp of hostile legions,
No. The quivering and the roaring are
the outburst of the unimpotent laughter of a
of a defied and insulted Heaven. Rome defied
God and He laughed her down; Thebes defied
God and He laughed her down; Babylon defied
God end He laughed her down. Oh,
there is a great difference between
God's smile and God's laugh. The smile, it
is eternal beatitude, it is the bells of heaven
striking a wedding peal. The smile of God,
it is the loth of May, the apple orchards in
full bloom. God smiled when David sang,
and Miriam clapi>ed the cymbals, and Haunah
made the garments for hsr son, and Paul
!>reaohed and St. John kindled wifh apocayptic
vision! But oh, the laughter of God,
may we never hear it! It means punishment
for our sin, it means wast
ing away under His indignation.
God ' wants us to live in His
smile. He comes down from Heaven. Ho
cca<es us, He begs us to como from our sins
into righteousness. He comes into this world
in the person of Christ. He takes up the
bins of the world and He puts them on one
shoulder, and Ho takes ud the sorrows of the
world and puts them on the other shoulder,
and then with this Alp on one side and this
Himalaya on the other, He climbs up the
steep just outside the city of Jerusalem
to achieve our redemption; putting
the palm of one hand on one
spik? and and putting the palm of
the other hand on another spike, He stretched
forth His hands bespotted with His own
blood and He gesticulates and says: "Look
and live, look and live; with the crimson
veil of my sacrifice I will cover up all your
sins; with my dying groan* I will swallow
up all your groans, look and live, look and
live." If a man turns from that, then God'a
voice cnanges its intonation ana it comes
through the first chapter of Proverbs like
the simoom of the desert and says: "Because
I called and you refused, and stretched out
my hand and no rsan regarded, and yet put
at naught all my counsel and despised my
reproof, therefore I will laugh at your calamity.
Oh, this day by turning uuto God
through Jesus Christ let us decide that we
will live forever in the light of His smile.and
escape forever the thunriar of the laugh of
His indignation.
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Another laughter of the Bibla?and the last
one I shall mention?is the Heavenly laugh,
or the one of eternal triumph. Christ said to
his disciples: "Blessed are ye that weep now,
for ye shall langli." That takes away tha
idea that we are forever in Heaven to be singing
long-meter psalms. The formalistic
and stiff notions of some people in regard
to Heaven would make me miserable.
When Christ says to His disciples "blessed are
ye that weep now, ye shall laugh," I know
that heaven is not only goins: to be a place
of'worship. but also a maerniScent sociability.
What, will the ringing laughter eo all
around the circles of the redeemed ? It will.
Christ says so. "Ye shall lautrh." It will
be a laugh of congratulation. If we meet a
friend who has met with what we call good
fortune, and he has come from poverty to
great riches, or he is restored from some dire
sickness, we grasp his hands and we laugh,
and we congratulate him, and when
we get in heaven we will meet
our friends who on earth had a hard time of
it,and to one of them we will say; "Why,the
last time I saw you, you were down with six
weeks of low intermittent fever. Now, how
well you look. Immortal health on your
cheek and eye. 1 congratulate you." It will
be the laugh of congratulation. To another i
one we'll we say :"Down in the world we saw .
you limping along with rheumatism, now
you have the strength and the fleetness of an
immortal athlete. I congratulate you."
It will be the laugh of congratulation.
We will meet friends who failed in
business. They went from raufo to panic
and from disaster to disaster in this world,
and we will meet them there and we will
congratulate them. It will be the laugh over (
f-Jipir anf?npss. anil thov will sav ''Yes. V6S.
this is my throne, this is my mansion, this is
my companionship, this is ray Christ, this is
my God." Laugh of congratulation. And it
will be also a laugh of reunion.'
The perceptions quickened, our knowl
edge improved, we will know each
other at a flash. Oh, how much those who
have been ten years in heaven will have to
tell us about their ten years of celestial residence.
Oh, how much we will have to tell
them about the ten years of their absence
from earth. And there I think George Whitefield
and John Wesley will give a laugh of '
contempt over their earthly misunderstand- ,
iugs. And there I think Toplady and
Charles Wesley will give a laugh or contempt
over their earthly misunderstandings. The
two farmers that for twenty years quar- ,
relied about a line fence, in the
heavenly country will give a laugh of (
contempt over their earthly quarrels. Ex- ,
emption from all sorrow. Immersion in all
joy. We shall laugh. Christ says so. We ,
shall laugh. Oh, what a thrilling satisfaction
to stand on the wall of heaven and look down
at Satan and see him caged and chained, and
wo am frtrarrar trAn frnm his
clutches. Just think of it. You know how <
the Frenchmen cheered when Napoleon the (
Great came back from Elba. You know how
Englishmen cheered when Wellington came '
back from Waterloo. You know how Americans
cheered when Kossuth came
from Hungary. You know how 1
Rome cheered when Pompey returned
from victory over 903 cities, and every
cheer was a laugh. But oh, the grander :
mirth and the mightier gladness when we
shall see the snow-white cavalry troop of
Heaven moving through the streets, Christ (
in the red coat, as described in Revelation,
on a white horse riding on and all the armies
of Heaven on white horse3. Oh, when we
hear the click of the troops of that cavalcade
we will shout and we will laugh. Does not
this subject, men and women immortal, make
your heart-, beat quick with joy, tiecause so
soon we are to enter that great jubilee? We
pray God that when we ' get through 1
with this world and are gouig to leave it we
may have something of the belief of the
dying christian who said he saw in the sky
at the time he was dying the letter "W," and
people standing by his dying bed said, "what
do you suppose it means," after ho had told
them he had seen the letter "W." "Well,"
he said, "it can mean only one thing, 'W'
stands for 'welcome.'" And so when we i
leave this world may it be "W" in the sky
and "W" at the door of the mansion, and
"W" on the throne. Welcome, welcome,
welcome!"
I preach this sermon this morning because
I have fivo prayerful wishes?that you may
see how mean a thing is the laugh of scepticism,
that you may see how bright a thing is
the laugh of Christian exultation, that you
may see how hollow a thin? is the laugh of
ainful mlrt-h thnt. von TTIAV SPA llOYV awful a
thing is the laugh of God's indiguation, and
that you may see what a rapturous and rubicund
thing is the laugh of eternal triumph.
Oh, my Lord and my" God, fill my soul with
this rapture. Avoid evil. Choose the good
Be comforted. Be comforted. "Blessed are
ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh, ye shall
laugh!"
Affection Among: Birds,
Between a pair of the species called
love birds, says an author, "we find the
most perfect unity of purpose, and har
mony of actlo.i besides, it one cars, tne
other eats also; if one bathes, the other
accompanies it; if the husband cries,
forthwith the wife chimes in. Is one ill,
the other feeds it. No matter how many
of these little birds may be assembled on
a tree each keeps with its mate; they
never serarate." And another writer
adds: "It is a well-known fact that
these lovely creatures rarely survive the
deaths of their companion; they pine
away visibly when cruel fate dissolves
the marriage bond, rarely touch food
again, scarce utter a sound, or if tbey do
its tone is most piteous, and in a few
days they follow the loved one gone before.
" Often sterner birds show the same
rlr>nt}i r>f fpnlinor "We even know an
example where the female owl pined to
death on the decease of her mate and
companion of many seasons. Clinging
affection like this is a beautiful picture of
lifelong attachment. Here, at least, we
find no trace of selfishness; the one finds
its happiness only where the other takes
part; each lives for the other."
Swindling the Farmers.
It looks as if our farmers, as a class,
were the most easily swindled people in
tlie country. some 01 tnem are snrewa i
enough, but the most of them are gulled
by every bum that comes along. The
other day a man went through Dauphin
county with a lot of colored salt put up
in jars, which he represented was a
stump-consuming powder. His instructions
were bore a hole in the stump, fill
it with powder, ping up the whole, let it
stand for six weeks and then set the
stump afire, and it would burn down below
the plow-line. The farmers caught
on to it readily. The six weeks' provision
was a wise one, for it allowed the agent
to get away. An examination of the
"powder," however, proved its worthless
qualities, and the farmers can kick themselves
over being badly fooled.?Mauch
i J hunk iPenn.) Times.
FACTS FOR THE CURIOUS.
A Chinpsfi bank note 3.284 rears old is i
in the museum at St. Petersburg.
Jacob Twaddle, of Steubcnville, Ohio,
blind from birth, can tell the color of a j
horse by the sense of touch.
In Spain, when a person eats a peaL-h i
or a pear as he passes aloncf the road, he I
immediately plants the seeds. Fruit
trees are plenty and free to evfrv passerby.
By a Japanese proc ess seaweed is made
into paper so transparent that it may be !
substituted for window glass. When I
colored it makes an excellent imitation ot
stained glass.
The Bible used in administering the
oath to JefTcrson Davis as President of
the Confederate States is still used in
swearing in the Governors of Alabama at
Montgomery.
It appears that there are now inhabited
cave dwellings in Saxony. They are
dug in a sandstone hill, have different
rooms, light and dark, as well as chimneys,
windows and doors, and are said to
be very dry and habitable.
TEMPERANCE DEPARTMENT.
A Strong Pica for Total Abstinence.
Dr. Carpenter, a prominent English
temperance lecturer, in the course of a
recent lecture said that as soon as a person
had hid a glass of wine, spirits or
beer they felt jolly, and it was of no use
talking to them while snch influence was
upon them. They would asssrt that
none were so happy as they, but let
them visit the fane person next morning
and they would find the happiness of the
previous evening had departed, that the
person had a head-ache, was not ready
for his breakfast or had a nasty taste in
his mouth. Then some would say "never
mind, old fellow, have a glass of brandy;
that will set vou right again." It did so,
and they thought <lwhat wonderful stuff
this brandy is." But the person who
took no wine, beer or spirits over
night had no nasty taste, no loss of
appetite next morning. Such happiness,
he contended, was much hotter than
the boisterous happiness created by (he
drink the night before. No sound person
could come to the conclusion that he
who rose with a loss of appetite in the
morning was the better for it. He contended
rather that he had received more
harm than good. A person might say
he felt chilly or cold, and a glass of
liquor warmed him and made him feel a
man again. Now this was a complete
delusion. Our bodies were all burning
carbon precisely the same as a lamp did.
We took in oxygen and threw out carbonic
acid. This could be collected, and
by instruments of precision measured, so
as to ascertain what amount of heat had
been produced in the body during the
day. Were he to test all persons present
who had had no alcohol he should find
that, if healthy, their temperature aver
j t\ai ? nr\ J T7<?V,T"kz?
tigCU tfO-J ur VV UCglCGS luiucaucu. X
degrees or heat could be increased by increasing
oxidation in the body. This
would be done by giving a person strong
tea, but a few glasses of brandy and
water, though making a person feel hot
all over, would, as could be proved by
placing a thermometer in the mouth, reduce
the temperature of the body. This
was explained by the fact that the alcohol
brought the blood from certain centres to
the surface, and while feeling so hot people
were really cooling themselves. The
more hot people were in reality cooling
themselves. The more alcohol one had
in any form, whether as beer,
wine. or still worse, as spirit,
it tended to diminish oxidation
and prevented the carbon from being
burnt up, and so producing heat. The
amount of carbonic acid which came from
the lungs was smaller, after taking alcohol,
than before. The blood being
brought to the surface and made sluggish,
tended to disease in the blood vessels,
-i - - < ? n_ i. in i?ii/u
ana uaturauy iu lu-uunuu. uiuj90ms"
existed all over the body and in
the liver, heart, brain, lungs, kidneys,
and other organs, though it was on the
uosc they were seen to perfection (laughter).
Alcohol enlarged the vessels, stopped
the functions of the sweat glands,
and so destroyed softness of skin and
purity or complexion. Abstainers were
farjietter able to bear cold than were
non-abstainers, and it was a fact that
many of the deaths attributed to drink
were practically deaths from cold through
T~ ~ -3 i 1 _ iAwrtAKofnra Vimrln nr Konn OA TP
UUUIl J lCilI];biatUll/ uuriu^ MWWU wv *V
duced by drink. Going to the Bible
for examples of temperance he might
mention Samson, the strongest man that
ever lived, Samuel, one of the wisest,
Daniel, who controled the Assyrian monarchs,
and John the Baptist, of whom
our Savior said that amongst men born of
a woman there was not a greater. Athletics
knew that it would not do to drink
alcohol; the university men train for the
boat race were kept, if possible, without
it. Among cricketers total abstaining
elevens were the best, and it was gener
ally noticed that the eleven which went
in before luncheon won the match. Al!
delicacy of sight, thought, touch and action
was destroyed by alcohol. As to
its driving away pain or care, it would
certainly paralyze a certain set of nerves
and feelings and enable people to put on
one side uncomfortable thoughts and go
on as if such things did not exist. But it
was only postponing th?m till the mor
row, aud it would be far better for humanity
to bear them patiently. By taking
alcohol a person resisted the natural
cleaning process and made the nerves a
depot for material which would lay the
foundation for organic disease and certainly
shorten life. Clubs of 1,000 memT
1 - J '
Ders in Lonaon ayerageu seven uaya
sickness per member per annum, in Glasgow
eight, in Dublin nine; but
societies where only temperance
members were admitted averaged less
than four, and were it not for accidents
it would be less than two. Doctors told
their patients it did them good because
* lllj-n/l if- nnrl trAnnrr t\ r\f\
txiuv 11XVT;V4. 11/ \^J il Uq II tV/l Jj IIUU juuui^
tors could not afford to be total obstainers,
or they would lose their practice.
The majority of lunatics were those who
had inherited disease, and not those who
were suffering from their own indiscretions.
Ninety per cent, of our convicts
wer.? in prison through drink. The
most unhealthy class of all were publicans'
servants, sin 1 closetD these stood the publicans
but the healthiest of all were convicts
who were kept without alcohol.
Alcohol undoubtedly was of service
. 1 t. ?
sometimes, "ill ims> u vi utii. uiiuu uv.iiiii,
and if it was tr.kcn when tlio henrt did
not want relieving it would do n > good
whatever. Dr. Carpenter concluded his
excellent lecture, which had been made
very clear by the aid- of diagrams, by a
r\f tlio T'trminn state which
UV9Ui|^?vi? w
England would be in were drink but
abolished.
The Christian Rome, of New York.says:
"Of the sixty-eight married men receive.!
in this home during the past year, twothirds
of that number had been separated
from their families on account of their
drinking habits."
i
m " ' ' 3?ss$! RRRin
RELIGIOUS READING.
Any WorkforMe!
Yes, there is plenty of work for you?
whoever you are. God says to every
! one, Go, work in my vineyard. The
vineyard is very large. It includes the
whole of life. There is something for
every one to do for God.
11 God's vineyard is not a place in which
a man can work a certain number of
hours in a day. It requires his whole
time?his -waking and his sleeping hours.
It is a gloat error to suppose that we
i arc doing the Lord's work only when we
i nro nnnrtf <rnd in rlovfit.innni exercisus, or
i laboring for the conversion of sinners, or
for the edification of Christians. That
which a man does heartily, as unto the
Lord, is the Lord's work. The farmer,
when he is carefully and wisely cultivating
the soil, is doing the Lord's work.
Ploughing is as truly a religious act as
praying. The merchant when he makes
an honest exchange is doing the Lord's
work. Dealing justly is as truly a religious
act as warning sinners to flee from
the wrath to come. A man is doing
God's work when he is doing that which
pleases God.
A man is doing the Lord's work when
he is faithful to his employer?does a !
fair day's work; when he takes proper
care of hi.rj health; when he governs
his temper; when he is careful. to speak
the exact'truth; when he is courteous to
strangers, and lends a helping hand to
the needy; when he has a word of en
couragement for the desponding; wnen
he sets an example of industry and honesty;
when he returns good for evil;
when he leads such an upright, benevolent,
God-honoring life, that men take
knowledge of him that he has been with
Jesus. Religion docs not consist solely
in reading the Bible, praying, attending
church and laboring for the conversion
of men. These are important duties,
but they do not include the whole of
duty. God's will has reference to every
act of our lives.?N. T. Observer.
Spiritual r^wer.
Spiritual power comes only from the
Holy Spirit dwelling in and working
with and through the human spirit, and
by the instrumentality of the truth as it
is in Jesus. Believers in the Lord Jesu3
Christ are made new creatures by the
power of regeneration, and are receivers
of it by the grace of God. The
church is organized to receive and use
this power with men and with God in
the world. But the church cannot do
her work without sufficient and continuous
supplies of "power from on high"
t:n Iv-nnn hnr movincr regularly and effi
"" - J- o W t
ciently. Ever since Jesus Christ went
up to glory from the Mount of Olives,
the Holy Spirit has been in the world,
convicting it of sin, of unrighteousness,
and of judgment, and converting innumerable
millions of sinners from the
error of their ways. He has also perfected
that good work which He thus began
in them. Revivals of religion, reformations
of faith and practice, and
great ecclesiastical purifications have
made new eras of spiritual power in
Christendom, and the conversion of Pagan
peoples to Christ has given them
new civilizations and new moral and religious
life. But it would dishonor the.
Wniv nhrust-, tn snnnnse that even His
" "V ?- ? ?I" i I
greatest influence is confined to crowds
and masses of people, and to that strained
cxcitement which sometimes overwhelms
large communities. The simplehearted
Russian Christians to whom
Richard Knill brought the gospel, used
to call him "the man on fire." The ministries
of Baxter, Doddridge, Chalmers,
M'Cheync, and William C. -Burns?like
those of the Reformers, the Wcsleys and
Whitefield, and the later work of Spur- 1
geon, Moody and other living leaders of
the sacramental host, are signals of that
inexhaustible reserve of power which the j
Comforter is using now, and will pout 1
forth more abundantly as the church is
able to receive it and as the world needs !
"* "nw/i" lino Knnn Tli\r will tTipp/i I
1U A11UIC HI* V ti ixuo t/uun aav/* ii4*? vuw*?. |
be any lack of it for the greatest emer- |
gencies of the church or for the victories
of the Lamb.? W. J. R. Taylor. D.D.I
The Soul S?et Free.
Happv is that soul which freed from
its earthly prison, at liberty seeks the
sky; which sees there its Lord, face to j
face; which is touched by no fear of
death, but rejoices in the incorruption of
eternal glory. At rest and secure, it no
longer dreads death and the enemy.
Now, 0 Lord, it possesses thee, whom it
has long sought and always loved. Now
it is joined to those who sing to thy
praise, and forever it sings to thy glory
the sweet sounds of never ending blessedness.
For the fatness of the house,
and rivers oi thy pleasure, tnou givcsi it
to drink. Happy is the band of heavenly
citizens, and glorious the solemnity
of all who are coming back to thee from
the sad toil of this our pilgrimage, to the
joy of beauty, and the joy of universal
splendor, and the majesty of all grace.
-There shall the eyes of the people see
the^ face to face; there nothing at all
that can trouble the mind is permitted to
the ears. . I
What songs of praise! What sounds
of harmonious instruments! What
sweetly flowing choruses! What music
rises there without end! There sounds
continually the voice of hymns and
pleasant chants, which arc sung to the
glory of the heavenly inhabitants. Malignity
and gall of bitterness have no
place in thy kingdom, for there is no
wicked one, nor is wickedness found
therein. There is no adversity, nor any
deceitfulncss of sin. There is no want,
no disgrace, no wrangling, no turmoil,
no quarreling, no fear, no disquietude,
no punishment, no doubting, no violence,
no discord; but there is an excellency of
neace. the fulness of love, praise eternal,
and glory to God, peaceful rest without
end and everlasting joy in the Holy
Spirit.
*0 how blessed shall I be if ever I heat
those most sweet choirs of thy citizens,
those melifluous songs, ascribing the
honor that is due to the Holy Trinity.
But 0 how exceedingly blessed shall I be
found among those who sing to our Lord
Jesus Christ the sweet songs of Zion.?
St. Augustine's Manual of Devotion.
"Behold I am with thee in all places
whither thou goest." All places?not
I some only, but all. The Christian is
never without his guide, who is also I113
God, and therefore too wise and toogood |
to guide him in any path but that of
lafety and li^rht.
Hlierc the Klietoricians Shine.
Tlie only fine writing one sees in the
newspapers these days is in the exciting
accounts of the warfare between
the rival baking powder companies au-i
Hie different systems of insurance.?
I Atlanta Constitution.
Mme. Patti assures the Parisians
that in America they believed every fib
she told, and paid lier well for telling
them.
A gentleman in quest of a house ad- !
dressed himself to the owner: "I aee
that you have advertised a small house I
to let." "Yos, sir." "Is it large?" J
r ; ; y%* ' :
A CITY'S OUTCASTS.
AN ARMY OF VAGRANTS EXIST
1NG IN THE METROPOLIS.
How many of them Live?The Saloor"Sitters"?Different
Grades of Vagrants?Dwellers
in Rookeries?Population
Figures.
It is always ea?y to find interesting sta
:istics in relation to the poor people of a
country like ours. There arc over 200
?heap lodging houses in New York. Most ,
3t them are below Fourteenth street.
The sanitary laws fix their legal sheltering
capacity at about nine thousand lod?*>? ?
urir nio-ht. but almost everv night
^ | O 7 ' ' w
from ten to twelve thousand dismal souls
ire crowded into them. It is estimate I
that there are from four to five thousand
more poor males and females who find
shelter at the free-lunch saloons, the
stale-beer dive3 and the police stations
about Chatham Square and in the streets
which traverse the slums and sloughs o'
New York. These unfortunates have
a show by working as sitters in
the low saloons. They cluster around
the stove in the cold weather and excite
the sympathy of tiansient customers.
Dnrinorthfiholidav season, about election .
_ 0 ^ ,
time ancl when great parades are going
on this dodge of the needy worker and the
saloon keeper works to the advantage of
both. At such times the sitters are enabled
to keep comfortably filled up, to
the advantage of the house. In some
saloons which cncourages sitters they are
let in in relays, a fresh" batch every hour.
By working up a regular route of such
places a tramp can manage to fill up his
time all night. The way many of these
people keep clothed is a study. One that
I have heard of has pretensions in this
direction. Every day he watches the
deatti notices in tne papers, anuwueuever
the demise of a man is announced he
promptly calls at the house with a piteous
appeal for cast-off clothing. People
are tender-hearted* with death in the
house, and he rarely goes ^way emptyhanded.
A manager of the tramp question has
classified the different grades of cheap
lodgers and sitters. He finds from long
experience that fifty per cent, of them
are victims of intemperance, twenty-five
per cent, are vagrants from sheer laziness,
twenty per cent, are willing to
work, but cannot get it to do, and five
per cent, are unable to work on account
of some mental or physical defect. Upon
this basis of say fifteen thousand out and
-"t n.i*nni,to i'n INToTirVnrLr 7-ilOOfl.rf!
UUtUUlLttOtO iu iivi? a v* ia. j . 7
drunkards, 3,750 are indolent knaves,
3,000 decent, poverty-stricken people out
of work, and 750 invalids and unfortunates.
The next class of poor people, but little
better off, are tlie dwellers in the
rookeries and shanties and meanest tenej
mcnt houses. There the condition becomes
somewhat better, but never satisfactory.
The evils of the tenement
house system are apparent. This
huddling together of large numbers
of men. women and children
under one roof breeds vice and dissipation.
But the growth of this system in
New York has been remarkable. The
tir^t tenement house was erected in 1838
on Cherry t treet. In 1865 there were
| 15,309 tenements in this city. Now there
are at least 30,000, includiug apartment
houses and flats. In a quarter of a century
the system developed and during the
last twenty-five years has more than
I doubled in extent. In 1865 the average
number of inhabitants in each tenement
house was thirty-live. The average today
is fifty.
New York has double the number ol
inmates to a house of any other city in
the Union, Philadelphia the least. Out
of 146,212 houses in the Quaker ci^r,
there are only six inmates to each d wellir j*.
In the 50,883 houses which make up Baltimore,
there are six and one-half people
to each residence. St. Louis, with 43,026
houses, has eight people to each
house. Chicago, with 61,069 houses,
eight and a quarter people. Brooklyn,
with 62,233 houses, has nine peoplo to :
house. New York, with 73,684 houses,
has sixteen and one-half people. The
figures as to this city are deceptive, because
there are fully 20,000 tenements
proper, which accommodate fifty people
on an average, or a total of a million
souls. This demonstaates that more than
two-thirds of the population of New York
are dwellers of tenement nouses proper,
among which flats and apartment houses
are not included. "What a singular study
these figures are. No city in the Union
has half as many houses as Philadelphia,
and yet Boston has nearly two-thirds as
many as New York, and Chicago almost
as many. Truly these statistics justify
Philadelphia in its claim of being the
city of homes, and Chicago and Boston
follow very closely.?Philadelphia Press.
tt. .1
jcreeuom ut n iuujui ? vmhvi
I happened-to visit "Windsor the other
day when-the queen was holding an "investiture."
- Several matters struck me
with surprise?for one thing, the remarkable'
freed.Qjn accorded to the public of
entry to the castle and its appurtenances.
All the open spaces within the precincts,
except the quadrangle itself and the private
garden, seemed to be free to everybody.
The "Windsor children use as a
playground the grassy slope in front oi
St. George's chapel* and the region about
the Windsor end of the Long "Walk.
There is not a gentleman's seat in the
whole kingdom where very much greater
seclusion is not maintained. There are
plenty of sentries, but they do not interest
themselves in the people who lounge
'' * 1 4 lini?a af
about tneir ueats. nerc uuu mvie, <* >
long intervals, is a benevolent-looking
policeman in uniform, whose leading
function seems to be to gossip with any
one who will gossip with him. With
some practice in that sort of introspection
I could not spot a single detective in
plain clothes. That the queen is in residence
is proclaimed by what I supj ose
we should call a white aag flying l'roin
the top of the Round tower. Uut sucft a
flag! No meaner picce of bunting can
well be conceived than "the banner of
Britain" which, it seems, is thought good
enough to mark the personal presence of
the sovereign. It is not much larger
ii lvinr?nn;i Thr> most
Ill,'HI U JJUUU-01/..V.VA
economical lord-lieutenant in the kingdom
would be ashamed to display so
paltry and shabby a rag.? London World.
How to Engrave Egg Shells.
Trace the writing or design on the
f shell with thin varnish of melted wax,
using a common pen; then immerse the
egg for a few minutes in vinegar or
dilute acetic acid. A few experiments
will determine the proper time, depending
on the strength of the acid employed.
Then wash the egg in water, and remove
the tracing. "Wax will rub off, and varnish
will come off with alcohol. The re
suit will be a most beautiful and delicate
relief of the desired pattern. If varnish
be used, a colored background can be
produced by dyeing the egg before applying
the alcohol. Wash the egg before
dyeing it, as tiie acid would injure
the color.
' ' ACANARYAT THE FARM.
Folks have been to town, and Salry . m
Fetched her home a pet canary, " .
And of all the blame contrary,
Agger vatin' things alive I
I. love music?that's, I love it
When it3 free?and plenty of it?
But I kind o' git above it
At a dollar-eighty-five I
And it's iust as I was savin',?
Jest the idy, now, o' layin1
Out yer money, and a-payin'
Fer a wilier cage and bird,
When the medder larks is wlngin'
Round ye, and the woods is ringin'
With the beautifulest singin'
That a mortal ever heard!
Sairy's sot, though:?so I tell her , V:$f|
He's a purty little feller,
With his wings o' creamy yeller,
'And his eyes keen as a cat;
And the twitter o' the critter
'Pears to absolutely glitter!
Guess I'll haf to go and git her
A higher priced cage 'n that! ^
?James Whitcomb Riley. ' '-"M j
PITH AND POINT |
The barber is fond of making cutting
remarks.
The action of the heart?A breach of
promise case.
Fine weather is never admired until it
is mist.?National Weekly.
Nothing reduces a man's income like a
visit from an Assessor.?Call. . JfJjJ
It's a poor man that can't have a few . ^
enemies.?Indianapolis Herald.
Working like a horse?A lawyer draw- ,
ing up a conveyance.?Rambler.'
There has always been a coldness between
autumn and spring.?Washington
One of the latest and most effectual
cures for toothache is a pair of tight
boots. -^-Puck.
A teacher of swimming is submerged ;
in business even when he has but one ,
pupil.?Si/tings. f
The barber is the greatest of modern ^Jag
travelers. He roams continually from.
poll t3 poll.?Sioux Falls Leader.
"Oh, mamma, I've got an awful pain ln
"Where Tomm'e?" "Right here in the AfjW
large part of my back."?Philadelphia iM
Call.
"Few sons take after their fathers,"
remark an exchange. True, but a great "[M
many fathers take after their sons.?Hot ,.^|g8
Springs News.
"Did you hear the lecture last night?"
asked Williams of his neighbor Beasley.
"No," replied Beasley, ''my wife wasn't m
at home."?Tid-Bits.
A book has been written under the .
title, "Four Centuries of Silence." Iti*
needless to say that it is not a history of
the profession of barbering.?Graphic.
The gloomy winter has gone hence.
The days are warm and bright,
The cat sits on the backyard fence
And warbles through the night
Little maiden (who is spending the afternoon
with her aunt)?"Auntie,mother ^
said I must no? ask you for anything to
eat, but I'm awful hungry."?Harper*$
Bazar.
A pilot boat picked up an oil painting
that apparently came from the wreck of $
the Oregon. By the time it was rescued > %
it was probably a water color.?New York
Commercial. _
It seems sort of cruel, when a man has p?
fallen into bad company, to put him into W
solitary confinement, and thus keep him .
in the bad company which has proved his
downfall.?Boston Transcript.
"I stood at eve, when the gas was lit>
by the door of a cheap hotel," sings a *3
a wild western poet. If the gas hadn't
been lit he would probably have been inside,
with his hand cn the spoon-stand.
?Boston Post. ^
"I should like to know, sir, why yon
leave my house so suddenly?" asked Mrsl m
Jackson, the boarding-house keeper.
presume you have grounds?" 4 4Yes,
madam," replied Simpson, "I have
nrrnnndft?Coffee trrounds.?New York
t?" .
Graphic.
"Make room for the girls?" cries the
Woman's Journal. Oh, pshaw! the girls
dont want much room. A chair that
will hold one with a tight squeeze will
hold two very comfortably. Rooin for
the girls, indeed! Sit here, girls.? J.
Burdetle.
"Ah!" exclaimed Fogg, looking up
from his newspaper, "another clergyman
come to grief!" "What's that*" exclaimed
half a dozen e3ger voices. ' 'How
did it happen?" "It was at a funeral," 1 .Jffl
replied Fogg, and everybody ejaculated,
"Pooh!''?Boston Transcript.
A Macon man, who has never witnessed
a game of base ball, declares that ho never
will. "I hear them talk aboufc
" "TT... J.U 1 '351
catching a fly,1' lie says. "iou nceuns ^
expect me to pay my money to see a lot
of lunatics catch flies. It's cruel to catch
flies, anyhow. Wh^ not let the little
insects live?"
Americans in Mexico..
"Carp," of the Cleveland Leader, ha**
been interviewing John W. Thompson,
recently returned from an extended trip
in Mexico: .
"Are there minv Americans in business
in Mexico?" I asked.
"Yes," replied Mr. Thompson, "and
the number is increasing. There is quite
an American colony in Mexico city, and the
English and Americans associate *
largely together. There are American
dentists, American doctors, an American
barber, and there is an American who
nnhlishps a daily newspaper in English.
His name is Clark. He is a briglit fellow,
and his paper, known as the Two
Republics, is a spicy one. The American*
do the big business of Mexico. They
are the pushers in great enterprises, while
the English and Germans have the stores
and shops. In a Mexican shop you have
to bargain for whatever you purchase
in the same way as in Italy. The storekeepers
have two prices, and they do not
expect you to pay what they first ask.
For instance, a man came into my room.
at the hotel to sell me a pair of figures. I
looked at them and liked them. He
said they were worth forty dollars, while
half the sum bought them."
>3?
Damascus.
A correspondent says that Damascus
with its 160,000 inhabitants, mostly
Mohammedaus, is quite as fanatical a
ccntre as there is in Syria. Here occurred
some of the most di ?racef 1
scenes in the massacre of 1860. Cnristians
are not safe at any time. A short time <
ago it was impossible to buy a Koran in
the bazaars if it were known that you
were a Christian. It is not a. uncommon
fhinnr nnwto be received with indignities.
Children shout at the Christiansen the
streets and even throw stones them.
Aged Moslems will angrily spit on the
ground and show other signs of disgust.
Of late there has been an increase in
their social outrages.
M