The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, December 16, 1885, Image 2
COME AWAY, JONATHAN.
I.
t)h, the ruby drops are sparkling 011 the foam j
ing goblet's rim
And the song is so enchanting where the
mazy dancers swim
To the music of the frolic as it tinkles wild
and glad
Till the cyprian seems an angel to the wild"
eyed country lad,
And tho melody and motion llowing rounu i
bi:n like a sea
Numb his senso and woo his fancy to that
evil company;
Bat there's peril in the dance-house and those
feet are downward bound,
And there's death within the goblet when the
merry cnp goos round:
Then ho! my Jonathan, ho!
Come away, como away,
My Jonathan!
ii. i
When the wine is going inward and the
blood is getting hot,
First it simmers, then it bubblcslike the water
in the pot;
One word brings on another and another
brings a blow,
Theu come out the knives and pistols, and
the blood begins to flow:
There'6 a murder in the brothel, there's a
wail upon the air
And a haggard young man flying in a frenzy
of despair;
*8o carousals end in folly and the folly ends in i
sin:
The way to cease from doing wrong is never j
to begin.
Then ho! my Jonathan, ho!
Come away, come away,
My Jonathan!
III.
There's a mighty fortune waiting, there's influence,
there is fame,
On the lucky speculation, on tha deftly-man*
age l game:
Hope outruns the paro of reason and her pic*
BY EVA BEST. '
Jaclc and I had bceu married about |
long enough to begin to argue; we never I (
quarreled?we were too patrivian for i
that, though he was only a promising ' j
architect and I an ex-school ma'am-but |,
how we did argue! It all began by our ; j
different "bringiiigs up" in the first j j
place. You see, we weren't really well ! ]
acquainted (arc not yet) when we mar- ,
ried. It all grew out of that dreadful 1 (
flood?did our romantic and sudden j,
marriage?and I had actually seen my ]
good Jack twice only before I promised i \
all sorts of sentimental things! And ,
the glamour lasted, his face "was still j
the handsomest, his voice the sweetest, ^
his nature the most chivalrous in the ,
world until, as I have said, we began to \,
argue. It wa3 a thoroughly good- ! \
natured argument at first, ilow was it ]
that we forgot in time to send a laugh ' (
along with a dexterous little dig into the j,
weak points in the argument of the op- j,
position to sort o' soften its edge? I ,1
don't know, I'm sure, but I grew to de- | j
spise argument between Jack and mc,and ;
I meant when a good chance offered to j ^
put. the whole ugly spirit of discord to j
Hischt. j!
It came?the chance. Jack came
home from the ollice to supper with a ]
paper in his hand, which, I fancied, had j j
given him something to ponder over. I
rang the little tea beil out of the low j
window as I used to ring the big bell j
out of the dear litt le sclioolhouse window ;
in years jjone by, aud in toddled our wee j
daughtCT, Fatima, with a glad, hungry !,
light in her baby eyes. I
Baby in the hiijh chair; mamma be- ;
hind the tea things, papa brandishing I
the knife and steel and then?it came. J j
"Desdie, I think women nowadays try
lo do too much?that they strive for too ]
wide a 3phero of action, don't you?" |!
"Women in general, or particular,
Jack?" I asked, dropping the three
lumps of sugar he affects into his steaming
cup.
"Well, general, I believe in this case (
?though we could, I suppose, make a !
particular instance of it. For instance
you?"
"I!" !
"You received an education that in ',
the contracted sphere of woman's j,
11
1UU?
Hfi! There it was?there was my
weapon of annihilation! I listened as
he went on.
"That in the contracted sphere of a i
woman's life will, in a measure, only be j (
thrown away. What good can come of ;
it all? You who sit here at home making j
a paradise for me, need know nothing of \;
even simple interest?"
"But I do know of it, my liege lord! |:
I can compute it to the penny on the
small sum accruing from my professorship
of the 'river school' since you kindly
invested it for me in the Building as- 1
Bociation?"
"Well, let that pnss: perhaps it is just j
as well to know a little of simple arith- j
metic; but for algebra?"
"As my friend Helen says, it is my
knowledge of algebra and the 'unknown
quantities' that nave macie a 'uaKer 01
mc!;' I interrupted eagerly.
"A 'baker'?"
"Oui, Monsieur! Now do you listen i
awhile to me?give Fatimi that ripest
l>each, Jack, please. I insist upon it
that no woman who lives the life of a
'house-mother'can have too line and too
widely-snread an education. In the ,
first place she is 'mother'?she has a
million questions to answer before her J
little bro^d have spread their wingsquestions
upon all sort of subjects?on
science, on art, history,music, literature,
ghefflistry, astronomy, languages?on 4
evcry'kincl of subject. Rut that is not
all; she must put theso scieuccs into
daily use "
" 'Daily use,' Pesdie?"very ironically,
this. "For instance?'' '
"Jack, if you put a lot of stearine and
potash into a kettle with some boiling
water, what will be result?"
"How do I know?"'
"1 have to?it results in soap; that's
chemistry."
"If you know all?"
"If it's 12 o'clock at this place what
is the time twenty decrees cast of us?"
"I?I?"
''Why an hour and twenty minutes
past 1J and I can set the clock by local
or standard time with my eyes shut?
that's astronomy."'
"Well, Dcsdie?"
"Why is our little Fatima so sturdy?
the darling! Because I know how to
give her a sun-bath as well as a waterbath,
and play 'catcher' with her every
day in the yard until her lungs arc filled with
pure oxygen?blood-making
material?and her eyes shine with health
and happiness?thatrs physiology.'1
' Granting all that, Dcsdie?"
"Wait, .Jack I'll soon be through.
Who asked me to write up our romautic
little story, and what was the doing so
but an ellort at literature? What do you
call the composing of that hymn for
"Pncfnr JV>ttMrrr?\v'? infant c!ass? How
tures nil tne sxy.
Till the young tr.an bids his candor and in- |
tegiity "good-byl"
Then the sharpers blow their bubble, till it I
bursts with frightono.l sound,
And the blood of 0:10 poor suicide is curdling j
on the ground.
Love of gain insanely worshiped leads to ruin, |
leads to crime:
The man who owns t.ho game, my boy, will !
w;n it every time.
Then lio! my Jonathan, ho!
Come away, como away,
My Jonathan!
IV
Yes, come away, my Jonathan! there's noth- '
ing half so fair
As the sweet flower of innocence that blooms j
in country air:
There is danger in tha city for a simple lad !
like you
"Who knoweth not the rottenness that art i
conceals from view.
There where color, light and music glorify j
the house of sin, ,
And drinking dens are palaces to lure the
passer in;
Where Mammon rtnnrts with ready smile <
and proffers sudden gain,
Who sows his youth in such a soil may reap i
tho fruit in pain. <
Then ho! my Jonathan., ho!
Come away, come away, 3
My Jonathan!
?Benj. S. Parker, in the Current.
ARGUMENT. <
1
should I know that Fatima's pale blue,
silken hood looks better than any other
color against the golden glint of her
curls if I had no artistic sense? How
could I have said yesterday to the honest
old washwoman, imported from fatherland
only last spring: .'Frau Mueller, ich
habe diesen Morgen meino Urieftrie
he verloren?was soli geschchen?' and
thanked her when she showed mc how she i
had found it in my calico dress pocket,
if I hadn't dug German roots as well as
Latin? IIow could I have informed the
little Frenchman in your behalf that
'cctte maiscn est a vend re au phis ofTrant
ct dernier eucheriscur' if 1 hadn't had a
hundred headaches over all the irregular
verbs that grow in France! If I
wasn't apt at the needle, where would
those awful rents at heel and toe land
you? If I knew uot the use of the sadiron?
oh, well named tool! ?where
would be your linen immaculate? If I
ignored natural history I shouldn't have
known where to look for the bird's nests
I have added to your collection. If 1
knew nothing of medicine I'd not know
that just so many pellets of aconite?no
more, no less?could allay baby's fever.
If I wasn't a bit of machiuest my sewing
"-""l'l r>/-vcf nc nnifo a .mini I
UliU.UIiiW ?? \'Utvi VVOb UO '| m i ? v M ?
with its frequent getting out of gear;
and as sor cobbling?look at that patch
on Fatima's shoe. As a t i11 or of the soil
I am the successful grower of enough
tomatoes, at least, to can for winter, and,
ns a tinner, I can solder the cans as well as
any one in the professson. As hostler Icau
harness the pony to the phaeton as well
as you yourself can, and give myself and
baby many a pleasant airing. I'm carpenter
enough to plane down that stubborn
door in the woodshed till it shuts
obediently?
*? r ^ _ i. M
"DeS(lU\ l lOrgQl?"
"And painter enough to match the
:olor and paint the planed, raw edge. I
ivas taxidermist enough to save the
feathered hide of that lovely white
?rane you shot, and smart enough to
throw the paper that held ihc arsenic
into the fire, and?and?"
Desdcmona, my love, forbear! I?I
? I am overcome with jour acquirements
?I am your servile slave ?and that's the
ivay a man gets fooled ! I?ignorantly
?nough?supposed I was asking in marriage
a small, average braiued lassie,
ivlio, like myself, was all alone in the
ivorld, and who would look up to me as
:o a protector?'louk up,' forsooth! Des.lemona?"
"Jack, forgive me?I had to show
:hat demon of discord that I was a 'superior'being
and could not be 'downed'
in argument! Ana you, that woman,
instead of having a 'contracted sphere,'
lias one wider than you lords of creation
ivould ever dream of tilling! And, Jack,
Tear, don't let's argue any more?I
ivould not give you a chance to-day, and
[ beg of you never to try it agaiu. I
shall live my life and you shall live yours,
mu though in many respect9 so unHkc
:hey will be so close together in sympathy
that the boundaries will not be discernible.
Take me for what I am, Jack,
i busy, weiimeaniusr lutie 'naus-mucter'?your
wife and your equal?do you
hear, Jack? And I'll call you the dearest
boy in the world, set you on the
iltar of my heart and be the happiest
jirl that ever made a loaf of bread!"
"Mrs. Kay, I find it difficult to recover
from this complete prostration! I?I
im overwhelmed! May I venture for
the sake of an argument?"
"Tabooed, sir; no argument between
us henceforth allowed! I will not bear
it. Your voice was growing harsh to
me?your eyes frowned your convictions
into mine?your laugh ceased to warm
my heart, and?oh, Jackl"
"Yes. dear?"
"Fatima has fallen asleep with her
head in the butter dish!"
"Aud will rest in happy ignorauce of
the awful things her little womanship
will be expected to know when comcs j
Lhe rrlad vears of maturity!"
But it worked its charm. There is no
fierce argument about our pleasant converse
now. W'c tulle about everything
like two chatty robbins, and no spirit of
discord mar3 our happy home. ?Detroit
Free Pre^s.
An Insect Used Tor Illumination.
At a recent meeting of the Academy
of Sciences, at Paris, a plate half lilled
with water, iu which were half a dozen
insects about an inch in length, which
shone like diamonds, although the room
was filled with sunshine, was passed
around among the members. These insects
liad been brought from Mexico,
where they are to be found in the forests.
Their scientific name is the pyrophore;
and, as none had ever been seen before
in Europe, thev created quite a sensation.
The light resembles that of a glow worm
or a lire lly, although as much more brilliant
and intense as an electric lamp surpasses
a wax taper in its power
of illumination. When the light begins
to fade, it can be made as brilliant
as before by shaking the insect, or
dipping it in water. It is said the Indians
of Mexico use them for a light at
night, as a few will suffice to illuminate
an entire room. "When they are walking
at night, they put one on each foot, so
that they cau be sure of their way, ar.d
also that they do not step upon any venomous
snake or reptile with which the
tropical forests abound. Tin Mexican
ladies buy them of the Indians, and inclose
thnm in a transparent bag, which
they wear in their hair or at the nock.
Tim olTocf fa t-niMr (icnonin 11V
i uv V41 VV w ? WiJ 17V/IH4M1 Ul, VUJ'VVIlt' ?J
when several are worn; and, as the Indians
sell them for a few cents a dozen,
they are within the reach of every fair
one. They are fed on sugar cane, and,
if well taken care of, will live a long
time. One placed upon a page will enable
it to be read with ease in the darkest
night.?Scientific American.
It is estimated that the railways of the
world could carry 0,500,000 passeDgers
a j
WORDS OF WISDOM,
For age and want save while you may.
ATo morning sun lasts a whole day.
lie who wants to do a great deal of
good at once will never do anything.
Pleasant roads make pleasant drives.
Pleasant thoughts make pleasant lives.
Humor is the smiling pathos of the
heart as wit U the laughing deviltry of
it.
Life becomes useless and insipid
when we have no longer friends or enemies.
Put down as soon as possible every
sum which you receive or pay; aud trust
not to your memory.
The knowledge drawn from experience
is of quite another kind from that which
flows from speculation or discourse.
Chivalry is not confined to the rela"
tion of the sexes. It is a sentiment
which should rightly inspire all who are
highly favored in any respect toward
those who arc less fortunate.
A man's best help is himself, his own
heart, his resolute purpose?it cannot be
done by proxy. A man's mind may be
aroused by another, but he must mold
his own character. What if a man fails !
in one thing? Let him try again?he I
I 11 lib L Ij UUl I J 1113 UWU iiatuiu. U A_l4 11A
try hard, and try again, for lie does not
know what he can do till he tries.
What's a "Lorn"
Colonel Jack W , of the Confederacy,
relates the New Orleans Republican,
tells a good story of a sergeant in his
own regiment, the ?th Texas Cavalry,
which occurred during the late war.
Sergeant "Wiliey was a lunk, gawky, but
impulsive son of the Lone Star State
worthless as a soldier, and still worse as
a non-commissioned officer, he nevertha'
less was enabled to maintain his grade,
owing to a peculiar tact which he possessed
of procuring forage when all
others would fail. One wet morniug he
appeared with a long face before his
colonel's tent and grumbled something
against the sergeant-major of his regiAAlnnfll
-finollt? unrlor- 1
iUCUl, niiau lug auuit; UUV?V4
stood to be a complaint that Willey liad
been put on picket duty out of his turn.
The story seemed so plausible when it
was clearly placed before the colonel
that the sergeant-major was summoned
to the tent, and in a few minutes it was
agreed that an unintentional injustice
had been done to Willey, and the party
separated.
"Never mind, Willey," said the sergeant-major,
as they walked off together,
"when your turn comes
again you shall be excused from
duty."
"That's well enough," grumbled
Willey, "but it mayn't be a wet
night.
"That does not matter, Willey," again
said the sergeant-major. "When the war
is over this little trial will Le counted
another laurel for you."
Willey left his superior, muttering
something unintelligible, and made
straight for the colonel's tent, where,
without preliminary, he apostrophized
him in a twangy voice:
"Kernel," he said, "what's a lorl?"
"A what?" a9ked Colonel W.
- 1 151J IVJIlftTT in n
" il. a ituit u^aiu asixuu n nuj iu <
louder tone,
"A what?"
"What's lorl?" this time fairly shrieked
Willey.
Colonel W. wa9 now nearly out of
patience, being as little informed as before
on the lorl subject.
"Willey," said the colonel, "if you
will only tell me who uttered that word
in your presence, and under what circumstances
it was uttered?if you tell me
something that occurred, I may be able
to enlighten you."
Willey then explained how it was that
the sergeant-major had spoken of the
laurels.
"Oh," said Colonel W., "I understand;
well, you see, Willey, when the ancient
Romans returned trium ^jaut from the
wars, their brows were crowned with
leaves of laurels, which are synonyms of
glory."
1TTMI 1 1 L
VVlliey SlUWiy U\YU.y,
understanding the situation less than
ever. In due course of time, one dark,
cold, rainy night, while Willey was
snoring vigorously, he was awakened
from his sleep and ordered to go on
picket duty with a squad of men. In a
few minutes he had hitched up his
clothes, and rushing out of his tent,
yelled out frantically to his mon:.
"Come on, we are going after some of
the blame lorls!"
Origin of the Poll Tax.
The troubles which followed in England
after the death of the Black Prince
caused a speedy mode of raising a revenue
to be desired, and the poll tax of
1377?"a tax hitherto unheard of"?was
agreed to. This first poll tax was levied
and paid apparently without murmuring.
Perhaps the pressing danger of invasion
threatened by the French rendered the
people more pliable. But as troubles
continued, auo.hertax of the same de?
scription was agreed to?equally a poll
tax?but graduated so as to be less open
to obiectionon the ground of inequality.
Hanlc was the basis taken. The two
dukes of Laucnstcr and Bletagne were
charged each 10 marks, or JL'G 1:5s. 4d.
Earls and countcsscs, being widows, 0
marks, or ?4; baron3 and bannerets, 3
marks; knights bachelors and substantial
esquires, H marks; esquires of less
estate and substantial merchants, half
a mark. The knights hospitallers were
charged separately. The chief prior,
the same as a baron. Every commander
of the order, the same as a knight bachelor.
Every other brother, being a knight
of the order, 13s. 4d. The judges and
the chief baron of the exchequer were
charged i'o. Sergeants and grand "apprentices
of the law," ?2; every other
"apprentice to the profession of the
law," ?1; all other apprentices and attorneys,
Gs. 8d. The mayor of London
was charged on the footing of an earl;
the aldermen of London and the mayors
of the great town on the scale of barons;
franklins, farmers, and cattle dealers,
half a mark or a quarter of a mark. For
the clcrgy a spccial scale was fixed.
The archbishop of Canterbury, ?'7 li's.
4d.; bishops, mitred abbots, and other
spiritual persons, being peers, ?4.; other
beneficed clcrgy from ?3 down to 5s.,
according to the value of their office;
monks and nuns, according to the value
of the house to which they belonged,
from 3s. 4d. down to 4d. This last was
also the charge on the poorest class
which naid the tax at all.?London
Quarterly Iter lew.
Glass Nearly 4,000 Ycari 01(1.
The oldest specimen of pure glass
bearing anything like a date is a little
molded lion's head, bearing the name of
an Egyptian king of the eleventh dynasty,
in the ?5!ade collcction at the
British Museum. That is to say, at the
period which may bo moderately placed
at more that 2,000 years B. C., glass was
not only made, but made with a skill
which shows that the art was nothing
new even at that time.? iSiar, .
THISTLEDOWN.
Fairy frigate on airy sea?,
Sport of the sunshine, toy of the breeze,
Oared by a myriad feathered sprays,
Moored by a myriad silver rays,
What is thy freight, oh, Thistledown?
(
Wafted, winged, on a viewless tide,
Launched on a breezy ocean wide, i
Hither and thither thy pinnace glides, <
Thither, and hither thy fair bark rides,
What is thy freight, oh, Thistledown?
<
Loose the moorings and drop the seed! .
Delicate cable and gossamer thread,
Silvery sail and feathery oar j
Needoth the Thistledown now no more. f
What is thy freight, oh, Thistledown. c
A tiny seed in cradle fair, *
ftorue on tho waves of the summer air,
Tho germ of a life, though veiled, we see, r
A beautiful possibility? *
This is thy S20.1, oh, Thistlodown.
Wondrous care for a Thistle seed I c
Parables writ on wings of a weed v
Reverent eyes may wondering see, c
And procious truth in this argosy. c
This is thy freight, oh, Thistledown. li
?
Of the cords of love and restraining bands!
The wafting wings and the silken strands!
Cradling the life of the hidden seed, r
Germ of tho life that is life indeed,
Safe as thy seed, oh, This tledownj i
?The Quiver.
(
PUNGENT PARAGRAPH 8
Always a fizzle?Opening a bottle of
soda. r
A popular air with the ladies?"Sweet "
buy and buy.'1?Chicago Ledger. n
It was said of the eloquent prosecuting
attorney that people hang upon his .
words. ? The Judge.
"What I told my Wife," is the title of j,
a new book. It is almost needless to u
say that it is fiction.?Puck. f(
An old rounder says paralysis is caused J
by canned goods. It is also certain that tl
some of it comes through bottled goods, g
Picayune. d
Sweden is a good cattle country, because
there the animal never strays, the
cattlemen always finding shcir Stockholm.?Folio.
a
Bishop Taylor writes that missionaries ^
with families are wanted in Africa.
The natives will pay the expenses of
fattening.?Burlington Free Press.
"When Fogg stood watching the
weighing of his Sunday roast ho remarked
that he felt like Ajax defying ,
the lightning.?Boston Transcript. *
An exchange asks: "What is the
hottest place in the United States?" We s<
reply, without the slightest hesitation, o
hornet's nest.?Burlington Free Press.
The Russian government has recalled V
minister Tchichagoff from Philippopolis. w
The appearance of the name suggest?
that it was a sneezy thing to do.?Bing- w
ha>nton Republican. tc
Queer, isn't it? A man who will
swallow any kind of dish with an impos- cv
ing French name will be scared to deatl. I'(
if he c.itches a cold with a Greek or V
Latin title?L>>cell Citizen.
Nothing makes a miser feel his inv ^
povcrished condition so much as to
travel a little and thus discover that j
there is much of the earth ho can nevdr 11
i . sn. r
IlOpC LU \jltiuil\jv uouyyc/t ?
Dr. Dio Lewis declares that hot water Uj
will cure every complaint that human hj
flesh is heir to, yet all the same a good nf
deal of complaint comc3from people who uj
get into hot water.?New York World.
Police sergeant (surprising his subor- w
dinate, who should be on duty)?"Hero,
herel Oi'll have none o' that." Subordinate
(devouring the last morsel)?"Bd m
4 hers, Oi don't think ycz will I"? cl;
ltambler. in
Miss Clara?"Arc you an nnglomaniac,
Mr. Featherly?" Mr. Featlierly?"Weil, W
hardly a3 strong^as that, Miss Clara. I zo
fish occasionally; but I am fond c! ?
angling to a limited extent only."?New
York Sun.
Mrs. Beacon (new to housekeeping?
"Good morning, Mr. Cutts, can you
give me a good piece of roast beef?" gl
l-'tmercilious butcher?"Madam. I cau (:.c
give you a good piece of beef to roast," lLl
?Harvard Lampoon. cc
Stanley says that sunshiua iu Africa t0
looks like moonlight. That's about thft
way it looks ri^ht here at home to th? ,
Board of Trade man who gets on th(i ,
wrong side of the fence in a big grain
deal. ? Chicago Journal. 1
"What is usually the nationality of a tj,
bootblack, my dear?" asked Mrs. Cau- pi
tion while her husband was studying the g0
score of an Allegheny game. "Oh, it I ^
varies," replied Caution; "sometime.* or
they arc Poiish and sometimes Shincse." a]
?Pittsburg Chronicle.
THE MERCHANT'S CHORUS. II
Here you'll find the merchant's chorus, th
You will hear it every day, or
"It is not the goods we carry, th
13ut the ads. that pay. i
"Tf if. wo nnt fnrtho;e nauers. AE
And the ad<t, so often read, 01
"Wo might ordor up our coffins
For we might as soon bo dead."
?GoodalVs Sun. o
A California blacksmith is dangerous- l)r
ly ill with glanders, contracted white
shoeing a horse. And a Pennsylvania
woman is suffering from a sprained ankl# .
contractcd while "shooing" a hen. 1
There seems to he a fatality about this cq
shoeing business.?Norrisiowti Herald. ^
"Stone walls do not a prison make,"
says, or, rather, sings Sir Richnrd Love- sc
lace. You are quite right, Sir Dick, jn
you are quite right; they don't. If they ^i;
did, how would the small boy ever gft
out of the apple orchard uncaught,when p,.
chased by the shouting farmer.?Puck. W(
Do not be too emphatic in the expression
of your opinions, my son. I oncc
heard your mother speak of the Blig^ses
as the scum of the earth. Since tuon Fi
the "scum" has risen, as it always does, m
first or last, and will have nothing to do AV
with your mother or me.?Boston Tran- wi
script. nil
"the north wind dotn blow." tai
Now the mercury cloth fall Oil
Ton degrees, Qi
And tlic binlbts one and all
'Gin to sneeze:
As they flit about and flutter ln:
To the .South from summer shutter
Or their galvanized gutter w]
List they freeze. f0
Now the very latest stylos jic
All :ire set, in
In our collars, cu!Fs and tiles, cil
And we pet>
Growing daft with social pleasure
Tixtlm liAttnm nf nni*
And wo can't bogin to measure as
Up our debt. wJ
Now we don our winter coats
Growing numb,
To a tickling in our throats til
We succumb:
And we all, liowo'er so bumble, sai
Into bod do quickly tumble
As wo shiver ami wo grumble
Winter's Come. tci
?Life. wf
A Chinese testament in English char- br
actcrs has just been printed at Kincrpo.
It is a practical adaptation of what is flaj
known as pigeon English to misaionar; br;
purposes. wl
ItoMOiToUS-SKETCHEa. |~
For fioocT#
"Yes, Bobby," said young Fcatherly. ^
"I am going West for a little trip." ^
"Are you going for your health?" inquired
Bobby, with solicitude. i
"Well, not altogether for my health,
ilthough I shall derive some benefit, no c
loubt." "s,
"Sister Clara hopes you will." !
"I say. Bobby," whispered Feathcrly, i
'did your sister say that she hoped my i '
,rir> would do mo L'ood?" ! _
"Yes. She told ma last night that if j
Hr. Featherly went West^that he would j
jo for good.?New York-Sun.
ti
Kisses by ITIail.
A youug postmaster of a village post- j
>llice was hard at work when a gentle v
Jap was heard upon the door and in ! jj
tepped a bashful maiden of sixteen !
vitli a money order, which she desired ! ^
:ashed. She handed it to the ollicial
vith a bashful smile, who after closely
xamining it, handed her the money it
ailed for. At the same time he asked
icr if she had read what was written ' tl
in the margin of the order. I tl
"No, I have not," she replied, "for I it
annot make it out. Will you please j t<
ead it for me?" | ti
The young postmaster read as follows: j d
'I send you and a do/.en kisses." i h
Glancing at the bashful girl, he said: J ei
'Now, I have paid you the money and I: h
tipnose you want the kisses?" P
"Yes," she said, "if he has sent me ! tl
ny kisses I want them, too," f(
It is hardly necess:iry to say that the rr
est of the order was promptly paid and o
1 a scientific manner at that, and emi- ai
ent.ly satisfactory to the country1 h
laiden. I h
After she arrived home, she said j b;
> her mother: "Eh, mother, but: fa
lis postoflicc system of ours' h
i a <;reat thing, developing, ti
lore and more every year, and each new : D
jaturc added seems to be the best. 1 g'
iinniy sent me a dozen kisses along with 1 ti
le money order, and. the postmaster ! y<
ave me twenty. It beats the special aj
elivery system all hollow." oi
Loxv Water in tlie Waliashi
A rural schoolmaster in Indiana asked tr
pupil named William Scott the other
ay, which was the longest river in the
nrM nn/1 Willinm in rrp.Hitinor
l'~:~ o
lat honor to the Wabash. As a result,
a went home with a tanned jacket. As
lother result, a stranger appeared and j
nocked on the door.
"Is this the skule tcachcr?" he; th
loasanlly inquired.
"He ar!"
"Arc you the critter as licked Bill!
:ott fur sticking up fur the Wabash?" !
"The same, sir." i th
"Wall, Bill happens to be my son, and j
ve come fur to gin you the aufulle'st!
halin' ever writ down in geography." th
"Can you wait until I am through j
ith the class in spelling?" asked the j
achcr. I w]
"Oh! I s'pose so, but under the cir- ce
imstar.cc3 I hope ye'll cut it as short as !
)ssib!o. Haven't got my corn husked, ! to
! know." j yc
"Certainly. I never keep a gentleman ce
ailing when lean help it. Sit down
1 the wood-pile, Mr. Scott. I'll come
it and pulverize you in just nine mines."
At the end of the appointed time the or
achcr reappeared and at. once rushed J ea
)on the waiting Mr. Scott and blacked | e!<
s eyes, broke bis jaw and llattened his I th
>se. By and by Mr. Scott said he had in
1 he wanted, and added: i he
"Which is the longest river in the ; dt
orld?-' i ta
"The Amazon, sir," | di
"Am-a-zon. Please write it down for ! en
e. You've licked it into me in fust- j T1
nss style, and when I git home and git j cc
y paws onto my son Bill, he'll come to j he
ilieve there hain't nufl water in the m
abash to wash hid feet with! Am a- pc
n! Good-by, critter!" ? Hew York in
ar. I el!
I
IEe Didn't Pay# j
Long years ago, when the late Charles ; S1
home, .Jr., was a young actor Strug- i c?
ing with the dramatic chills and fever j
immoa to actors in the early stage of j *"!
cir carcer, it came on .suddenly very j
Id for him once, and he had nothing !
memorize except the bills of fare hung ! *?
itside the restaurants of the period", j
rnbitiuM left his mind and settled in P?
ie gastric juices of his stomach. lie .
id no money to satisfy it. lie neglected 111
ie theatrical posters, and studied "ITam Wi
id eggs, fifty cents," and legends of so
at kind. It was early days in San: cr
" ' - J -r ! ov
rancisco, ana nicy nau a practice 01 . uncling
a gong at meal limes to inform 1
e neighborhood that the mcais were R0
1. Charley was passing disconsolately j sa
ong, when a man rushed out of a res- j l)r
urant and hanged a gorg in his car. , c.a
e stopped, walked in, sat down with ! c
e air of a lord in a society drama, and ; rn.'
dered and ate a royal meal. He was j ?'
.rough, and sticking his hand in the 1)0
east" of his coat, he put on a dignified
id aristocratic stride and was walking : nc
it. I 011
"Look here," said the proprietor, j JV*
sntly intercepting him, ''don't you j.
opose to pay for this?" j
"Pay! What do you mean? pay 1" j ??
"Yes, pay!" !
"You must be under some mistaken | L)e
lprcssicn. Pay? No, certainly not!" I
"What the deuce did you mean to ;
me in imra for and cat a meai like i
at?" | f
4lI came," said Charlie, drawing hira-: y*
If to his full height; ' I came on your | l'e
vitation. 1 came because you banged j "c
at gong." j
And with a stride that paralyzed the ;
oprietor he passed out into the bright i
arid.?Han Francisco Chronicle. i
A Xoblo . Hoy. ; ^ll
There was no doubt but that Johnny j AV.(
zzletop was the laziest and the most \ ?1?
iscliievious boy in the whole school. I ?
lie-never anything went wrong Johnny |
is sure to be blamed for it. One i J
y the school-teacher missed his spec- i 1?.
cles. lie reinembcted having put them , j
i the desk a few minutes before. lie j J
reatcncd to punish the whole school in .
sc the sncctacles were not forthcom- 1
rr# o
"Now, boys, for the last time I tell j
liocver took those spectacles to come
rward and own up that lie did it. If j (
doesn't the whole class will be kept' ou
for an hour after school," he said ex- i
icdly. I
There was silence for a few minutes, I
il then .Tohnnv hold ill) his hand and
kcd, in an uncertain sort of a voice,
aat the boy who took the spectacles ^
set. . ! J]l(
"A good sound licking," thundered ^
e teacher.
"Please, sir, I took the spectacles," f
id Johnny.
A painful scene ensued. At last the
ichcr got through, and, out of breath,
is about to take his seat, when the
or opened and his servant entered, 1
inging the spectacles. ^y(
"You left the spectacles at home,"
id the servant, "and I thought I would
ing them over, as you can't see well
Xliout ilicm." Thi
""What! The spectacles?" exclaimed J
lie school-teacher, very much astonished.
Yes, there were his spectacles beyond j
doubt. Just at this moment Johnny i
ro.ee out into a dismal wai!, and saying
tetween sobs:
"Oh, dear! oh, dear! and I have been
tcked for those very spectacles?"'
"lint, Johnny," said the astonished
chool-teacher, "how did you come to
ay you took the specs? It is a noble
rait in votir character, mv bov. to sac
ifice yourseif for the good.of the whole
lass, particularly when you are innoent."
"That's not -why I said I took the
pecs," exclaimed Johnny.
"What is the reason?" asked tho
cache r."
"If 1 hadn't said I did it," explained
ohnny, "I would have been kept in j
rith the whole class, and when I'm kept I
i I don't get auy dinner, and we've got !
udding for dinucr to-day." ? Texas
'j'LiiujS.
$amo .ilan?
Some time ago a confidential clerk in
hie employ of a firm in Indiana skipped
ae gutter with several thousand dollars
1 ready cash. While it was determined
3 hunt him down at all hazards, the |
rm did riot feel like wasting a great j
eal of money in so doing. A one- j
orse country detective was therefore
n ployed, and nftcr a while he traced
is man to Detroit The detective didn't
ropuse to share any of the glory with
ic Detroit olliccrs, and he slid around
>r a week before lie learned that his
lau was in Windsor. Then he went
ver there, still working on the quiet,
ad a nice young man at one of the
otels informed him that the defaulter
ad just gone to Toronto, but would be
tick in a few days. The pair became
ist friends, and the nice young man had
is daily drinks and cigars at the detecve's
expense. The two came over to
etroit and atfended the theatre and had
ood times, and it was the opinion of
te oflicer that lie never met such a nice
Dung man. Finally, a night or two
jo, as they landed from the l>o:iton the
.her side, the detective inquired:
"You must be an agent of some sort?"
"Oh, no," was the reply, "I am simply
iTTAlinrr fnr nlo<iQiirr> " 1
"Where do you live when at home?"
"In Indiana."
"Why, I'm from Indiana?"
"Yes, you told me so the first day."
"Whereabouts in Indiana?"
" Vincennes."
"Good gracious! but my home is only
iree miles from Vincennes."
"Yes, I know."
"What did you do in Vincennes?"
"Clerked for Lat'n & Shingles."
"What! Why, that is the very firm
at was robbed!"
"Yes. i know," was the placid reply.
"And your name is?what?" queried
c defective.
"William Green!"
"Great Scots! but you are the chap,
bo stole the money!" howled the offlr.
"Yes, certainly! "What are you goinqj
do about it?" calmly replied the nice
ung man as he lighted another fifteen
o o
nter.?Detroit Free Press.
Sand Pillars.
The innumerable sandy mounds found
i the plains of Central Asia were not
sily accounted lor; uut areceni irav* i
?r witnessed a phenomenon that he
inks fully explains their origin. Once
crossing one of these desert regions,
i saw about twenty pillars of sand sud:nly
rise, and whirl along iu the discce.
As they passed along, a cloud of
ist was raised on the ground, appartly
eight or ten yards in diameter,
ais gradually assumed the form of a
>lumn, that continued to increase in
light and diameter as it moved over
c plain, appearing like a mighty scrmt
rearing his head aloft, and twistg
his husie body into contortions in his
forts to ascend.
The pillars were of various sizes, some
rcnty and thirty feet high, others fifty,
xty and a hundred teet, and some asnded
to near two hundred feet. As
e whirlwinds began gathering up the
ist\ one might have fancied that anteluvian
mousters were rising into life
d activity. The smaller ones seemed
trin li<rhtlv over the plain, bending
eir bodies in graceful curves as thoy
,S3cd cacli other; while those of larger
uicnsions revolved with gravity, swellg
out their trunks as they moved ontrd,
till the-sandy fabric suddenly dislved,
forming a great mound, and
eating a cloud of dust that was swept
er the desert.
The same writer, in referring to a phe'liienonof
a totally diJlerent character,
ys: Many of my readers know nothing
actically of the mirage, and thus they
n neither appreciate the beauty of this
iccption, nor estimate the disappoint- i
:nt it creates. I fear my pen cannot 11
ve an adequate idea of its tantalizing j
wer on the thirsty traveler. It has, j
iwcvcr, often fallen to my lot to wit- 1
ss it, when an appareut lake stretched 1
t before me, tempting both man and j
ast to rush on, and slake their burning '
irst. Even after years of experience I '
ve been deceived by this phenomenon, j
real has it appeared, and so many of - j
, peculiar and magical effects have J
en preserved. '
Sometimes vast cities seemed rising on j
e plains, in which a multitude of | 1
.vers, spires, domes and columns were ,1
ouped together with a picturesque ef- | '
it that neither poet nor painter could j'
nicr. And these were reflected in tho j'
ceplivc lluid with all the distinct- !
ss of a mirror; at times a slight breeze j I
mied to ruille the placid surface, do- '
oying the forms for a few minutes,and
eti tliey reappeared.
Sometimes I have been almost in:ccd
to Relieve the vast tropical forests t
?rc before me, where palms of gigantic <
:c, with their graceful foliage, over- i
ppeel every other tree, aud that beyond (
!rc mountain crests, giving a reality to (
e scene that caused me for a moment |
doubt its being a phantom. At last i
lave passed over the spot where tho <
ce, the mighty city, and the vast ' |
rest had appeared, and found nothing j |
t small bushes and tufts of grass ! (
owing on the steppe.
Tlio Wolverine. c
(
The wolverine, or glutton, is a curi- [
s beast, like a tinv bear, but the most J (
o and untiring enemy to the marten ' (
pper. following his steps and eat- c
Z the martens after they are caught. '
-I ?f/^ liid,* onrfliiim I
15 annual/ IIII | Jl/?ai I/IV. U' lUMii ihm KUJUQ
it these robbers do not liiul and dc- c
ov. Their strength is prodigious and t
jy do not hesitate to attack a wounded i
er. In color the wolverine is dark
>wn. The hair is quite as loni* as that
the black bear, but of coarser staple.
Unwise Economy.
"Oh, no," said Slow,
don't believo in advertising.
My trade, you know,
>n't bear it?that there's no disguising."
Town grade his trade
pt going steadily and daily,
A'id caused to fade j
?prospects that had bloomed n gayly.
FACTS FOR THE CURIOUS.
i
The latest list of American beetles de^
scribes 9,490 species oil this continent
alone.
Grindstones .are made from natural
sandstone, the stone being cut into shape
and afterward turned. !
A milk white alligator was discovered
in a pond at Escambia, Ala., lately, and
also one that is parti-colored.
In Lincoln county, N. M., near thft
Pattos monntain, can be traced what
were once the walls of a large city. In
aiuu iuc v\ una juc {^iuwiu^ uiuuaici ucuuji
trees, said to be thousands of years oldi
The gold dug from the mines in Thibet
writes a missionary, is so plentiful thaft
it is used to cover the pinuacles of thd
pagodas, and is made into idols, chairs,
couches and ornaments for the people*
A watchmaker in Newcastle, England:
has made a set of three gold shirt studst(
in one of which is a watch that keeps
correct time. The three studs are con-,
nected by a strip of silver inside the shirfc ,
bosom, and the watch in the middle on?
is wound up by turning tho stud abotflj
and the hands are set by turning the one
below. I
Near Marysville, Cal., there is a larger
gravel pit in which there are many fishj]
and into which flows the refuse matte^
of a winery. JEver since grape crushing
began thia year the fish have been aftj fected
with drunkenness and come to th$
surface of the water, where the China^i
men take them in with rakes in greai
quantities. j
The heavy copper consumption of Indl$
is due largely to a religious rite of thai '
natives. At certain seasons of the yea^
small cups of sheet copper about anincl^
in diameter and an inch and a half deep;
are filled with rice and are thrown intfl(
the rivers as an offering, with religiouf
ceremonies. The quantity of coppefc
thus annually consumed is very heavy/
India sheets being an important articlal
of commerce. ,?
"Indian summer" is a term applied t?
an indefinite autumnal season of fine/
fair weather with haze. Some date it$
beginning about November 15, but thai
is arbitrary and not warranted by thfl^
season itself. Sueh a brier season is ape
lo come n November, as every America#,
knows. In that "summer" the Indianaused
to gather their corn and scour th$
woods for nuts. They thought the mildi
aess due to the "God of the southwest'.1'
wind, which god they looked upon itfb
their benefactor. As he smoked his pip^
the blue haze curled upward from the
bowl thereof and was blown benignantly*
over the land.
Bridge-building brotherhoods were re*
ligious societies that originated in thij30uth
of France in the latter half of thdtwelfth
century. Their purpose was to
establish places of refuge and entertainnf
mnof frAntionfA/l
lliUUt xkji uavci^io ab vuw t*tvai iiuvjuwukv^
fords of large rivers, to keep up ferries,
and to build bridges. During the mi^*
die ages the church regarded the maky
ins of streets and bridges as a most meri*
torious religious service. The founder
of this brotherhood is said to^ have bcen^
Beneget, a herdsman, subsequently canonized,
although this fact is not author!*
tatively vouched for by historians. Thafraternity
was sanctioned by Pope Clement
III., in 1189. Its internal organization
was similar to that of the kuightlyorders,and
the members wore as a badgQa
pick-hammer on the breast. They
labored very actively in France, bufc
were gradually merged into the order ofr
St. John. Similar organizations, under
different names, existed in other lands,
Family Silver Meltetl in the Hint,.
"In the spring of '73," said Colonel
A. Loudon Snowden, ex-superintendent
of the mint, "I received a colleO*
tion of the most exquisite silverware
with instructions to melt it down. It
had been the property of Joseph Bonaparte
and was presented to him by hifl *
brother, the emperor. Joseph left it tohis
private secretary, and it was thq
latter who, previous to his going away^
desired it to be melted down. Much o$
the plate was mounted with gold and aq
skillfully that you might have supposed,'
that the precious metal would weighpounds,though,
when it was all reduced*
there was hardly any gold to speak off
The regret of my life is that I was not
rich enough to buy the plate, though .
not unlikely the secretary would havobeen
too proud to sell it."
'In the old days." continued Colonel
Snowden, "heaps of family silver useqi
to come to the mlut to be melted dowij.
from people who had met with financial,
inverses. Duriner the - last days of my
incumbency of tfte otiice of superintend,*
ent much less used to come than formerly,
because plated ware had come int<r
general use. I remember once that fv
gentleman very well known in PhiladeJ*
phia society brought mc a splendid 4fcr
sign in silver that he desired to have r&
duced. It was a gift to his wife or>.
their wedding and the thought of part*
ing with it w>is very painful to him. II .
had cost probably $2,000, but there wm
aot more than $u00 worth of bullion!1
fnstead of melting it at once I advance^
him the money for six months, and a^?
lowed the design to remain in the vaults^
A.t the end of that timo I agreed t&, .
<eep it instact for six months more. At;
;he consummation of the second period^
ae saw me and said he could not sea
laylight yet, and the bridal gift went
nto the melting pot. Three weeks aftei
:hat be dropped in on me to say that
Viori nn him again and
:hat he had made $."50,000. He said ho
would have given !::ilf of it to get h:S
silver back in the old form. Vain re?
jrets, of course. ? The man is now
veal thy."?Philadelphia Press.
Turkeys Outwitting Owls.
According to Audubon, who is an unloubted
authority, the turkey, in its
mdeavor to escape from the owl, hal^
ecourse to an expedient which, by waj
)f contrast to its usual dullness, is ex*
:eedingly bright. The snowy owl is tba
particular bird mentioned in Audubon's
iccount, but it is said .that the same dcvice
is resorted to by the turkey to
;hwart the great horned owl, which i?
:hc greatest poultry thief in this couar
;ry.
The snowy owl is one of the largest as
veil as one of the most beautiful o(
wis. It is not as swift in flight as the
jreat horned owl, but it is a good hun?
er, and seldom fails of a meal wher^
hero are hares or grouse. Its success
luc largely to a quality possessed iij
:omroon with all owls?noise less flight;
The sight of one of these white prowlers}
?it hunts by daylight?is always th$
iignnl for a violent commotion atnongi
he turkeys. A continuous rolling gobble
breaks out, and each individual
iliifts his position, and follows with utfn
!asy eyes "the silent, sailing motion oi}
he enemy.
Suddenly the owl has singled out 9
ictim, and with a swoop is bearing
wiftly down toward the quarry wid5
lager claws outstretched. At once eve^v
urkey makes a lurch forward, afc^
preading out the tail feathers, prc?ea&
, broad, slippery, unstable shield, agftlgijf
vhich the disappointed owl dashes wita
utile fierceness?Harper's Bazar %