Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE INTERPRETERS. m m Days dawn upon ua that make amends for P many r Sometimes, i When heaven and earth seem sweeter even F than any t Man's rhymes r Light had not all been quenched in France, or quelled In Greeco, Had Homer sung not, or had Hugo held I His peace. r Had Sappho's self rot left her word tnus long fc For token, f The sea round Lesbos yet in waves of song Had spoken. And yet these days of subtler air and finer |jV . Delight, r When lovelier looks the darkness, and diviner | The light. The gift they give of all these golden hours, . v':. Whose urn Pom's forth reverberate rays or shadowing showers In turn. * < t Clouds, beams, and winds that make the live f j|? day's track Seem living? * What were they did no spirit give them back Thanksgiving? in. Dead air, dead fire, dead shapes and shadows, telling 4pk Time nought; Man gives them sense and soul by song, and dwelling In thought. In human thought their being endures, their power ! Abides: Else were their life a thing that each light hour J Derides. The years live, work, sigh, smile, and die | with all They cherish; The soul endures, though dreams that fed it j "5? Fall and perish. IV. i e In human thought have all things habitation; Oar days W" Laugh, lower, and lighten past, and find no station That stays. But thought and faith are mightier things than time t Can wrong, ~ Hade splendid ouce with speech, or made sublime Ey song. Remembrance, though the tide of change that rolls I "Wax hoary, Gives earth and heaven, for song's sake and the soul's, Their glory. ?Algernon Charles Sminbaurne. MAKING HER WAY. p - . i It did not exactly rain on that dull autumn day, Dut tne air was iuuoi anv- j ing mist, aud the clouds hung like a leaden drapery almost to t :ie hill tops. It was a day when fairyland itself would scarcely appear at ii;s best, and so perhaps it was not surprising that the "Tabitha Home" wore rat'aer a cheerless aspect. It was a long, low brick house, with rows of square windows, curtained with white-cotton hangings, floors covered with matting, and drear, whitewashed walls, broken by no cheerful pictures or panels. The fire in the stove spluttered a ad smoked, and declined to burn. .Two or* ^ Ihree blue-nosed old women huddled around it; another was bemoaning herself over the face ache; and the matron, : standing in tl*e middle of the room, was b scolding because fault had been found 1 - r ?i. witn tne morning meai ui stureueu uaimeal. "It ain't as if you -was ladies," said she, " but you as has no home at your time of life, you hadn't ought to be pickin' flaws iu this, that and the other \ thing. And the oatmeal was good enough for anybody, that it was! And if you don't like the style of cooking here, you're every one of you at liberty to go elsewhere!" All this Janie Sevier heard, as she stood in the hall with old Mrs. Ball leaning nervously on her arm. The young girl was tall, resolute, and lovely as a wild poppy blooming in a iield of corn. The old woman was withered and colorless, her face all woven over with a network of tiny wrinkles, her toothless - jaws uneasily moving, while the eyes, that had once been so blue and bright, were now dim and dull. "Oh, Janie! oh, Janie 1" faltered Mrs. Ball, clinging to the girl's soft, young arm, "take me away?don't leave me hn.AlH JiCIC I . "But you wanted me to bring you," said Janie, soothingly. "Yes, I know; but I didn't think it was such a place as this!" cried the old woman. "Take me away, I sayl" "Where am I to take you?" "I don't know," said Mrs. BaU, beginning to tremble. "Anywhere away from here! Oh, quick, Janie?quick!" Janie Sevier looked pityingly at the poor old crone. "Was this to be the end of all kind Mrs. Montague's canvassing, and visiting, and wire-pulling? Now that the admittance 1 to tne "Laonna nome ior um i^aaies i was finally obtained, and a refuge se- ! cured for Mrs. Ball which should shelter ! her to her life's end, was it all to be ! thrown up for a whim? Nevertheless, thus it proved. Nothing j would induce old Mrs. Ball to cross the threshold of the dreary room where the fire smoked and the matron scolded; so Janie took her home again. "What else could I do?" said Janie, "You were very foolish, Miss Sevier," said Mrs. Montague, angrily. "After all I have done to secure the poor, childish creature a good home! And I can tell you vacancies in the 'Tabitha Home' do not occur every day!" * 'I cannot help it," said Janie. "She would not stay there." "But what do you expect to do with her now?" sharply interrogated Mrs. Montague. "I don't know!" sighed Janie. "You can't keep her?" <?T tmiof if Tin nnp will." 1 'That is absurd nonsense!" said Mrs. Montague. She is no relation of yoursl" "No," said Janie?"only an old neighbor." Mrs. Montague shrugged her. shoulders. "I have done all that I can do," said she. _ And so she departed, shaking the dust of the old mill olf her Paris-booted feet. The old mill was all that belonged to Janie Sevier. Long since the wonderful powet of stoam had taken all the custom away from the old"Xvheel, which was now moulderipg away in the ceaseless rush of the water. * \ Most of the building had fallen to decay, as buildings do when the tenants cannot afford necessary repairs. Eut there were still two or three habitable rooms in the south wing, and there Janie lived, with the rest of the house shut up, and abandoned to the tender mercies of blue mold and rats. "Queer she don't live with her brother's wife!" said the neighbors. "Eut inose seviers were always queer; anu Mrs. Mark Sevier ain't easy to get along with." As poor Janie knew to her eost, Mrs. Mark Sevier's final oration was yet ringing in her ears. "I've left off being astonished at anything now, Janie Sevier," said she. "A college-educated girl like you, to go and shut yourself up in an old owl's nest, with a half-crazy creature like Mrs. Ball!" "You won't have us here?" said Janie, half smiling. ' Of course I won't!" said Mrs. Mark. "There are mouths enough to feed without you, let alone Mr.,. Ball, 'who is nothing to nobody.' " "But some one must take care of her?" "There was a good place found for her in tlm 'Tiihith.i TTnmn ' if slie'd have stayed there. But you've chosen to assume the care of her; now let U3 see how long it wi 1 last. "And you needn't think," she added, viciously, "that Stephen Ball is coming back from Manitoba to reward you, like the taithful lovers in story-books. He can't care take of himself, much less of you." "1 don't expect him to come back," said Janie, calmly. "I would not marry him if he did. A man who leaves his old grandmother to the cold charity of strangers, is scarcely the man who would make a good husband. Because I was engaged to him once, it doesn't follow that I care fcr him now. I don't! But old Mrs. Ball is helpless and alone, and lam not goins: to desert her." "Very well," s:iid Mrs. Mark, "do as you p'ease. But, mind you, don't expect any lielp from Mark." HT..-, DAH nrtf KAfTPrtA/l.firO OU 1U13. iJtUl Oan 1/VlViu iuw HVVM M*w in the old mill, and knitted and dozed. Thank fortune, there was plenty of wood in the pine thicket, and Janie was strong and active to bring it in. And Janie herself cogitated what was t > be done, as she watched the dancing blaze. "If the house wasn't all tumbling down, I'd take boarders," said Janie. "Since the silk mills have opened, there are plenty of women and girls who would bo thankful for a good home. Or, the Grove seminary isn't far from here?I could board the young ladies who find the distance from the village too great. But the roofing is out of repair, and?" Just then there came a tap at the door. It was one ot the seminary girls, her blue eyes sparkling from beneath the border of her scarlet hood. "Oh, if jou please, Miss Sevier, don't be vexed," said Aurora Atkins. "But if you'd sell me one of those lovely mincepies, and a bottle of your home-made root-beer,' I should bo so glad. Lucy Smith had a piece of pie here yesterday, and she says it was too utterly delicious for anything! Please, Miss Sevier 1" Janie's first impulse was to give the ' "> i.~ il.. ?l mill) Iilinut* pic iu tiiv; piuiup suuuui-gut, but she remembered that it was the last in the larder, and that their slender stock of money was nearly gone. "I don't know how much it is worth," said she. ' "We give a quarter fcr them at the bakery.-" said Aurora. "Miserable driedup, tas.teless things, too! A quarter for mince, and fifteen cents for the squash and apple-pies. And fifteen cents for | lemon-soda and ginger-pop. "I should like to make you a present of it," said Janie, coloring a little; "but?" "Oh we don't want you to give it to ! us!" said Aurora. "We're not such. ' greedy monsters as that. We shall be j only "too thankful if you will sell it to ' us, dear Miss Sevier!" So Janie packed the plump, raisinstuclded pie into a box, with a bottle of birch-beer beside it, and took the forty cents, with a curious sense of embarrassment. "What a goose I am!" she thought. I "Doe3 the artist turn red all over when j he pockets the check for his pictures?; Docs the author feel ashamed when he ' receives the payment for his story or : poem? The pie |is mine?the wprk of my own hand. Why should I hesitate to sell it for what it is worth? This forty cents will buy more than one thing which we need, and I am thankful that I have been able to earn it. At^dinner time there was nothing but the remains of yesterday's chicken pot- j pie. Poultry was not an expensive lux- j urv since Janie raised her own fowls. "Ain't there no mince-pie?" said Mrs. I Ball, wistfully. She was only a seventy-year-old child, ' after all, and she missed her tidbit. "I hare sold the pie, dear," said Janie. "I will make some more to-morrow. But ' ! UUIC 13 U llitiu vi iuou*ov<guvgu | snuff, and some more blue yarn for you ; to knit." ^And bid Mrs. Ball forgot her troubles, and chuckled over the snuff and the yarn. That afternoon Janet went out into the fields, and gathered a great yellow pumpkin and a store of juicy red apples. Anu the next day she baked all manner of pies, finishing them high and early before the stream of school girls and 1 i a - i - n laetoxy worners liegan 10 now past. And she put them in the front window, labeled "For Sale.""Bles3 me!" said old Mrs. Ball, when Janie led her down strirs in a clean capborder and a neat calico gown, to begin her days's work of knitting, "what be you goin' to do!" "I'm going to make money," said Janie, cheerfully. It was quite au artistic window. There were the pies of divers and sundry sorts, the bottles of'lemonand birch beer, with a suggestive coflce pot placed in their midst, and a glass pitcher of milk. There were fresh-fried doughnuts and shining gillifiower apples, and light, home-made cakes; and there was a little wire basket of boiled egg?, looking like monster pearls as they hung there in the sunshine. The school girls, with the flavor of yesterday's treat yet in their mouths, came trooping in to buy their lunches; the factory girls followed suit. Old Mrs. Ball sat smiling by the chimney corner, while Janie Sevier wrapped up neat little parcels and made change j witn switt alacrity. "It makes the place a deal livelier," said the old lady. "I always did like company." At the day's end, Janie counted the contents of the till. "So far as I can see," said she, "we have made three dollars clcar profit. Three dollars a day is not bad for a i woman. And I think I can improve j upon the business after a little experi! ence." j At the expiration of a month, Mrs. Mark Sevier would not believe that her I sister in-law had actually opened an l account with the Silverdale Savings 4 lank and deposited twenty dollars. "Twenty dollars?" she . screamed. "Mark, there is some mistake 1" "No, there aia't!" said Mark. "The cashier told me so himself." "But how did sheerer make twenty dollars? I can't do it?not with all the butter and cheese and the dried fruit." persisted the woman. "Earned it, I s'pose," Mark answered, drily. "The business," as Janie called it, grew apace. The village carpenter was called in to patch up the old wing and build on :t new room, and when, three years afterward, Mrs. Ball died peacably, sitting in her chair, Janie sold the old mill and opened a ladies' lunch room in Silvcrdale village, now a thriving young town. "Nobody ever hcered o' such a thing," said Mrs. Mark Sevier. "That's the very reason that I think it will succceu," said Janie. And she hung the windows with Madras muslin, papered the wall with a < i 1 -? pattern or green ana goia peiicuuiva plumes, and made the little place as beautiful as possible. It succeeded. And when Stephen Ball came back from Manitoba, poorer than he went, lie found that Janie Sevier was one of the richest women in Silverdale. "Lucky for me!" said Stephen Ball. "I don't believe I can do belter than to marry her. She's prettier than ever." But Janie Sevier had very decided opinions of her own on the subject. "\fnrrTr riMi?" coif! aim "WVtV flhfHllfl I marry^ou? I neither love nor respect you, Stephen Ball!" "We were engaged once," whined the poor fellow. "Ouce!" echoed Janie. "But that was before I understood your character. Do you think I would marry a man who coufd leave his old grandmother to starve, without ever troubling himself about her fate?" And Stephen Ball was compelled to retreat from the field. j "How could I ever have loved that I man?" said Janie to herself. "Dear, ! dear!how people change! Once I neari ly broke my heart about him; but now? | now I may perhaps marry some day, if j the right man comes along. Just at present I am a great deal too busy to , think of such things."?Helen Forrest | Graces. Saying ami Doing. What is my opinion of saying and no' ! doing? It is a fault as universal as speech, and it has done an incalculable | amount of injury. The child learns it j from its parents aud hands it down to j all posterity, so that it may be called aD i inherited blemish of character. The i mother will tell her child she will do | thus and thus if it does not do so and j so, and the kid finds out, after one ur j two trials, that the mother is indulging * ? ' ?-i w.:u 1 j in aa auowuinu vurtuLy ui umu ; and, besides presuming npon that to do as it pleases, adopts it as a part of its i early training, and in after years uses it | as it has been taught to do. This habit j has become so common among all j classes that, in the rare cases whet'fe a ! person does or does not as he says once j that he will, it is productive of all sorts j of trouble. For instance, a man tells j auother that if he does not return | promptly a certain sum of money he has borrowed, he will never let him have any more. The borrower, presuming upon the universal practice, delays a day, or two or three, nod comcs up smiling, to make good the loan, for he is honest and will pay. He feels that he has done the fair thinsr, and is sure that the lender didn't mean what he said, because nobody ever I. is that particular, etc. In a few days he may need another loan, and, of course, goes to the same friend to procure it. Then the friend, doing what he has said 1 plainly that he would, is roundly abused, not only by the borrower but by the borrower's friends, and the general opinion of all is that the lender should have impressed the borrower with the fact that he could get no money from him, and so prevented the poor borrower from getting into trouble. All around in similar cases we hear the cry of those who are struck: "Yes, I know yon said so, but I never thought you would do it." People make all sorts of threats about what they will or will not do, but those threatened laugh softly, and go right ahead, doing as they please; for they know that it will all end in mere talk, and it generally does.?Mrs. Brown, in Merchant Traveler. Everything from Taper. Since the discovery of paper from rags, about 900 A. D., we date the paper age. Since then all has been easy enough. Books took the lead, newspapers followed, periodicals, magazines and trade journals closed the triumphant march toward complete happiness. Scientists, always short-sighted folks, began to look upon the paper age as nearing its close. Poor souls! Paper bags and papfer boxes made them smile; paper boats, paper barrels.and paper wheels gave them a chill in the dorsal region; paper collars and paper handkerchiefs set them humming and hawing; paper bottles and paper tea caddies and paper chimneys created quite a flutter in so called ''scientific circles"; paper timber and paper flooring render them rather uneasy; naner shirt front3 and paper slippers broke them down entirely. But the end is not yet. "We are, in reality, only just ; entering upon the border, so to speak, i of the genuine paper age. In a few short j years, in our paper shirts aud paper | trousers, we shall sit down to our paper j tables, upon our paper chairs, and drink ' our coffee out of our paper cups and eat ; our egijs with paper spoons. When we go out of a morning, we shall make I ready our paper shoes, paper overcoat, paper gloves, paper umbrella or paper cane and paper hat; kiss the baby, happy in liis paper pinafore, trip lightly i down the paper stairway, over the paper sidewalk to our paper carriage, and start ; down town, and continue our noiseless j ride over the paper pavement, stopping ' once more, possibly, to order the latest i r>ftiir?r rmvpltv for our better-half. Oh , I'?? ^ i no, ye wise men, the end of the paper age is not yet!?Neio York Herald. ; Curious Case of Nervous Sympathy. ' At the last meeting of the French 1 academy of medicine, Dr. Brown-Sc- 1 quard related a very remarkable instance of the power of sympathy which came 1 I within his recent observation. A little 1 i girl was looking out of a window in a 1 ! house in the Batignolles. The lower i sash was raised and the child had placed ; her arms on the sill. Suddenly the sup' port on which the sash rested gave way 1 I and the window fell with considerable ! fnrnp nn flip lit.tln mrl's arms, inflicting j a severe bruise, ller mother, who was i in the room at the time, happened to I look toward the window at the moment j of the accident and witnessed it. She I fainted with fright and remained in! sensible for a minute or two. When she recovered she was conscious of a severe pain in both arms, and on examining the seat of it she was amazed to find on each arm a bruise corresponding in position to that left by the accident,ob the { child's, though more extensive. ' '; WORDS OF WISDOM. There is no policy like politeness; and a good name.or to supply the want of it. Let friendship gently creep to a height; if it rush to it, it may soon run itself out of breath. In studying character, do not be blind to the shortcomings of a warm friend or the virtues of a bitter enem\\ If thou desirest case, in the first place take care of the ease, of thy mind, for that will make other sufferings easy. It is no help to a sailor to see a flash of light across a darkness, if he does ftot instantly steer accordingly. The seeds of love can never grow but under the warm and genial influence of kind feelings and affectionate manners. Words are spiritual forces, angels of blessing or of cursing. UnutterccI, we control them; uttered, they control us. It is better to be the builder of our own name than to be indebted by descent for the proudest gifts known to books of heraldry. Some are brave one day and cowards another, as great captains have often told me from their own experience and observation. "Whatever is coming, there is but one way to meet it?to go straight forward, to bear what is to be borne, and to do what is to be done. No person can be so feeble or so poor that he has not a duty to perform; which, being performed, makes him one with the highest and greatest. Let us remember those that want neccessaries, as we ourselves should have desired to be remembered had it been our sad lot to subsist on other men's charity. Bagdad. A city of over 100,000 .inhabitants, with no place of public resort, wlier? every house resembles a fortress or a prison, the ponderous doors opening upon narrow, gloomy lanes winding between grim, bare walls, and creaking heavily on their hinges, to reveal the low, dark, vaulted eutrance that leads to the courtyard inside, sometimes picturesque enough with pillared vcrrandas and arabesque lattices, but always rambling, uncomfortable, inconvenient, uncared for, to English ideas what a man's * * i _ 1 A1 1.......... noine snouia ue?a city wiiere mu nuiu-y of a wheeled conveyance i3 unknown; for who could drive anything that goes on wheels in lanes six feet wide that twist round every house corner, and the mud lies ankle deep in wiuter and dust darkens the air in summer? A city through the midst of which flows a mighty river, on which the traffic is- carried against wind and steam by men harnessed like beasts, on which the only native boats for pleasure or profit are on the same model, and no better In construe.ion than the coracle of the ancient Briton, on which foreign enterprise has placed steamers which have to contend against every device and delay known to the crafty Ottoman- A city unrivaled for# position and fertility of soil, environed by desert which might be made to blossom as the rose, the center of trade for a whole continent, yet sunk in decay and poverty; where 30,000 Jews contend in the struggle for existence, or, more properly, for a bare subsistence, with twice as many other Orientals not less supple, wily, patient and persevering than themselves, in a city where poverty and oppression have sharpened every man's wits. A city that might sit enthroned as a queen upon the waters, heir and daughter of mighty Babylon and the later splendors oi Maaain, aeieucia i and Ctesiphon, now groveling in the dust amid the ruins of a long forgotten former glory. Such is Bagdad of today, the city of Haroun-al-Rashid, the familiar home kof Sinbad the Sailor and the other worthies of the "Arabian Nights."?Saturday lie view. A Miser's Horrible Fate. Bent under the weight of years, low In stature, clean-shaved facc, sandy hair, bright blue eyes, but deaf as a stone, such was the little old Frenchman, Pedro Eymin. On the day that the eagles of France fell wounded and defeated on the field of Waterloo, and fortune turned her back on the first soldier of the ago, Eymin, the bugler, under the orders of General Ney, sounded the signal for the attack on St. John's Hill. It was the day fatal to Napoleon, June 18, 1815: Eymin was seventeen years of age then. His home life in this city was far from happy, and he neared the winter of his days abandoned by his wife and daughter. A miser, his clutch on his gold grew tighter as he neared death. Many a bitter lawsuit had been prosecuted here by him when he found himself, as he often did, robbed of portions of his sequestered wealth. He could have lived in a.palace and rolled over the Paseo in a sumptuous carriage. In a little room, No. (J Calle de Monzon, lived the old miser. His Inst clays were sad and his death was terrible, as the revelations made now at the trial of his murderers prove. He died a fearful and mysterious death behind the massive walls of .the ex-convent of San Geronimo in this city. In the groin of a musty corridor, where the sunlight did not enter, he was partially strangled on May 10, 1885, and, tied hand and foot, left to die a living death in a great dox, and scarcely dead was attacked by myriads of ferocious rats, entering through the half opened lid of his awful colfin.? City of Mexico Two liejtublics. The Mantle of Tame. The Pall Mall Gazette prints a new anecdote illustrating the care with which noblemen are made, and the poor material which kings use in making them, as related in a Swedish contemporary. When King Gustavus III. was in Paris he was visited by a deputation of the Sorbonne. THat leavnca i>oay congratulated the king on the happy fortune which had given him so great a man as Scheele, the discoverer of magnesium, as his subject and fellow-countryman. The king, who took small interest in the progress .of science, felt somewhat ashamed that he should be so ignorant as never even to have heard of the reuowned chemist. He dispatched a courier at once to Sweden with the laconic order, 4'Scheele is to be immediately raised to the dignity and title of a count." "His majesty must be obeyed," said the prime minister, as he read the order; "but who in the world is Scheelc?" A secretary was told to make inquiries. He came back to the premier with very tull inf jrmation. "Scheele is a good r.fvt.4- nf fn'ilrvnr )? oniri lln 4n llf> II frpn H n t. in 3UI V U4 iVUUil j omu v.-< .? the artillery, a capital shot, and a firstrate hand at billiards." The next day the lieutenant became a count, and the illustrious scholar and scientist remained a simple burgher. The error was not discovered until the king returned home. His majesty was indignant. "You must all be fools," he exclaimed, "not to know who Scheelc is!" He himself had only known him for three or four weeks. The light of friendship is like the light of phosphorus?seen plainest when all around is dark. , = * HUMOROUS SKETCHES. Old Crulk*Iiank Didn't Stay. ''Tommy, is your sister Clarinda in?" "Mebby she is and mebby she ain't. What's your name?" "Why do you ask?" "Waal, ye sec, she said if Mr. Tompkins called she'd be in, but if oid Cruikshank came she'd be out. Which be o> -*r_ /"i?:i.?i 1. juui Jill* V>i uii\3Liujiiv uu|/ax hjci. Ckicajo NeiDs. i Sin Answered* The dude was visiting a charming young socicty lady, and as they sat on either side of an open grate fire his heart waa full of a burning desire to say something not only complimentary, but brilliantly suggestive. So, after revolving I 4-V*r% aw in ln'fl m!nr] rlnrinrf Q Inn IJ1VJ JUUlbUl 111 UIO LllJUU uuiiju- c# vvu minutes' burst of silence, he said: "Ah, Miss Lillie, why are those firetongs so like Frederick?" [Ho meant her to guess, or him to tell her "because they glowed in her service, or were prostrate at her feet," or something of that kind.] Miss Lillie,lookingso solemnly demure that the clock stopped, said she didn't know unless it was because they had two thin legs and a brass head. He was groping blindly for the front door before she had recovered from the shock of her own volley. ? GoodaWs Sun. Obcdicncc to the Letter. Not long ago a young man in Carson got married, and started for California with his young wife. As he boarded the train his father bade him good-by, and gave him his blessing. "My son," said the aged sire, shaking with emotion, etc., "remember these words if you never see me again: Never go into a place where you would not take your wife!" The couple settled down in Mariposa county, and recently the old man went down to visit them. He proposed a bear hunt, and they were fortunate enough to track a grizzly to his lair, among some of the bowlders in the chaparral. As they approached, the bear roused up and sent a growl of defiance which shook ihe trees. ? "Go in there and kill him?" said the old man, excitedly. The son held back, further acquaintance with the bear seeming in some respects undesirable. "Count me out," he said. "Have I crossed the sea and settled in America to raise a coward!" shouted the father. "I but recollect your advice when I left Carson," was the reply. "How can I forget your sage precepts? Didn't you tell me never to go where X could not take my wife? Now, how would Sally look in there with that bear?" The old man clasped his dutiful son to his bosom, and as the bear issued from his lair, exclaimed: "Speaking of Sally, let us hasten home. Our long absence might cause her needless alarm." In about fifteen minutes they had reached the ranch, the old man a little ahead. licit and tlio Bunco nan* If there is any man who looks more like a broad-shouldered, deep-cheated agriculturist than Ben Maginiey, we would like to see him. There is a story told of a bunco man touching him on the shoulder on Broadway, one day last summer, with a "Why, my dear old friend, how do you do?" "I haven't felt better in twenty years," replied Ben, taking in the situation at a glance. "I'm real glad to hear it. How are all the folks?" "All right, except Bill." "Why, is William sick?" "Bless you, no! Didn't you hear that he collided with that red bull of old Jones' ?" "That is very sad; a man should be careful when he's fooling around cattle." "Ha! ha!" roared Ben. "Bill isn't a man; he's our old white bull," and his laugh occupied more'of Broadway than a healthy fog-horn would have done. If tbo Km ncn mon tvontiirl imp mnr/> fn nrnvp to hint that he had caught a greenhorn, Ben's hillside laugh settled the question. "Now," said he, "I have a friend in New York who has shown me all the sights worth seeing; so I can start right in and show them to you. What do you say?" "Why," said Ben, "I'm here to see everything you've got worth seeing; but, young man," and he took a most tender hold of the lappel of the steerer's coat, "I have been telling stories to presidents and princes for the last forty years, and a tear wells up into my eye as I think ol how sad a thing it is to have to correct the impression you have formed of me. I need say no more than that, like my illustrious brother, Forrest, I served the first part of my apprenticeship in a circus." And with a trip and a box under the ear, the bunco-steerer was tangling himself in the gutter in the middle of iiroadway, wnne lien movea q.uieny down the street whistliug "I Am a Pirate King."?New York Dramatic Mirror. Ills Ear Pierced with a Fish-hook. "Wall, wall," remarked an ancient and honorable Lake Ontario oarsman, who, on the retired list, .its it were, was a trifle over critical of the youngor and rising members of the profession: "This 'erc's a world of improvement, sure enough. When I was a-pullin'?and I tell you I hefted the ash for some big men in my time?Secretary Edmunds, President Arthur?and what a fly he kin cast! And there was Gen.?what's his name??he that fought the duel with Col.?. ' Names kinder slips on me these muggy days, but he was a caster too, and Pve seen him put an old fashioned hnrldn flv eir*htv-five feet with one hand tied behind him. "See this ear-ring," he continued, pointing a gouty finger at a gold hoop that hun? from hi3 left ear. "The general bored that himself. One day we was out and the two men got into a wrangle, they was always a doin' it, about their castin', and at last they got me to stand fifty foot off on a p'int? down at-Pitch Pine p'int?and hold out a tin mug. The general he bet that he could take the mug out of my hand in three tries by puttin1 the fly through the handle. "I was gettin' paid well, aud so, as I though I couldn't lose more than an eye j or so I stood up, and the first cast the old man took mo right through this 'ere csr. I tell ye, I dropped that cup quick, ? * ii-_ 1 i, ?.,i? ? UUt [I1C geuerttl u<J? iiuu iiauKi a y*v shiner and tosses it at me and says: Jack, leraine reel ye in and it's yours.' 'Go it,' says I. So lie began to reel in, playinr me for all I was wuth, the colonel standin' ready with gaff, and when the general cot the line in he hooked the gaff in the slack of my trousers and give me a sling of about ten foot and yells out: 'It's wuth $10 to land a two hundred pound sucker.' He paid it, too. They hooked me and landed me, and it cost 'em $30. When they cut the hook out the colonel said he'd pay for a gold earring to go in, and said I'd never have , sore eyes, and I never have, so help me. ; ^That's how I come to wear one earring I lost the money, though. When th old woman heard on't she allowed w<. was all drunk, and so took the $30 for her share."? Philadelphia Times. Old New England Taverns. Many a New England village inn could, in the opinion of the most fastidious of Frenchmen, well bear-comparison with the' best to be found in France. The neatness of the rooms, the goodness of the beds, the cleanliness of the sheets, the smallness of the reckoning, filled him with amazement. Nothing like them to be found in Fiance. There the wayfarer who stopped at an ordinary over night slept on a bug-infested bed, covered himself with ill-washed sheets, drank adulterated wine, and to the an noyance of greedy servants was aauea | the fear of being robbed. But in New England he might, with perfect safety, passnightafternightatan inn whose windows were destitute of shutters, and whose doors have neither locks nor keys. Save the postoffice, it was the most frequented house in the town. The great room, with its low ceiling and neatly-sanded floor, its bright pewter dishes, and short-backed, slat-bottomed chairs ranged along the walls, its long tables, its huge fire-place, with the benches on either side, where the dogs s!eep at night, and where the guests sat, when the dipped candles were lighted, to drink mull and flip, possessed some attraction for every one. The place was at once the town hall, the assembly room, the court-house and the show tent. There the selectmen met. There the judges sometimes held court. On its door was fastened the list of names drawn for the jury, notices of vendues, offers of reward for stray cattle, the names of tavern haunters, and advertisements of farmers who had the best seed potatoes and the best seed com for sale. It was at. the " General Greene," or the "United States Arms," or the "Bull's" Head," that wandering showmen exhibited their automatons and musical clocks, that dancing masters gave their lessons, that singing school was held, that the caucus met, that the caucus met duriug general training. Thither came the farmfirs from the back countrv.brine ing their food in boxes and their horses' feed in bags, to save paying the landlord more than lodging rates. Thither many a clear night in winter came sleigh-loads of young men and women to dance and romp, and when 9 o'clock struck, go home by the light of the moon. Thither, too, on Saturdays, came half the male population of the village. They wrangled over politics, made bet3, played tricks and fell iuto disputes, which were sure to lead to jumping-matches, or wrestlingmatches, or trials of strength on the village green. As the shadows lengthened the loungers dispersed, the tavern was closed and quiet settled upon the town.?McMastefs History. Lillpatian Tribes. - 'I-'" T ? DlAn/vAAn a lUrfli ilHUU JjC x lUU^CVU IT&Abgo U VU44ous account, published in the Scientific American, of some villages of pigmies discovered by her husband and herself on the eastern coast of Yucatan. It is singular that rccent ethnological discoveries in various parts of the world have related to dwarf tribes, and Mrs. Le Ploogeon, before describing the Liliputian towns of Yucatan, reminds us that a number of stone tombs were found a few years ago on the banks of what the printed account calls the river Merrimac, containing adult human skeletons only three feet long, and it is probable that the colonization of Central Africa will show the existence of many tribes of little men. In Mexico, particularly in the south, the dwarfs play a large part in the traditions of the natives, who attribute to them the construction of the ruined buildings found there, and sometimes profess to have seen them, or to have been disturbed by the sound of their hammering at night. The place mnst frenuented bv the dwarfs seems to w 1 ? ?/ have been Cozumel Island, a low, flat reef, about twenty-four miles in length, off the east shore of Yucatan. On this island still exist the ruins of pigmy cities of considerable importance, with temples built of carefully-hewn stone, the largest of which is fourteen feet long and nine feet high, and has a doorway three feet high and eighteen inches wide; and near by are well constructed triumphal arches nine feet high. On the neighboring coast are still to be seen the remains of villages, all the houses in which are of stone, but so small that tfo one larger than an ordinary child of two years could comfortably get into them. There is some reason to suppose that the little race still survives. According to the Indian guide who led Dr. and Mrs. | Le'Plongeon to the ruins, and who professed to have seen the dnvarfs frequently, they are very small and quite shy, appearing only at night, with large hats on their heads, and" never speaking to those whom they meet. Many of our readers are old enough to have seen the "Aztec children;" the diminutive specimens of a race supposed to be extinct, which were exhibited about the country twenty-live years ago; and it is not impossible that the remnant of tribes which occupied the country long before the Toltec conquest may bo found in the valleys of the Cordilleras, just as representatives of nearly all the ancient European races are fouud still existing in the remoter Alpine valleys.?American Archi tect. Sliam Mushrooms. "You notice on the bill of fare that your turtle soup is but ten cents more per plate than mock turtle soup, saia a stranger in a great, gilded eating house. Calipash and calipee, green fat, an historic delicacy, famed in the history of the world's metropolis as the acme of epicurean delight, for ten cents more than a fried meat ball. But the age likes to think it is eating turtle soup. It sounds rich?therefore the veally counterfeit. I am going to eat a Spanish omelette," continued the stranger, changing the subject. The stranger gave his order to a colored waiter, who yawned and twisted his mustache,and the omelette was brought. The stranger investigated the ingredients of the savory mess with his fork and on the end of. the utensil produced a mushroom. "Look at this," he said. Then he picked at the appetizing vegetable with his knife, scraped off the covering of sauce and began paring the stem. It crumbled under the operation in a decidedly unveeetable way. The reporter's eyes popped out on his cheeks. "What is it?" he asked. "Dough," replied the s*.ranger. "It is an old trick. Mushrooms are scarce and high. Still the patrons like to have the sensation of ordering mushrooms in that composition. If prices were put up to the mushroom market they would abandon the restaurant. So they use dough. It is harmless. I would advise the proprietor to stick to dough,and not indulge in toadstools, which might work injury."?Philadelphia Press. Never be idle, but keep your hands or mind usefully employed except when sleeping. , IN-AUTUMN. The flowers Of summer fair, The blooms we loved so well, Which made so redolent the air, r*lA^A^ fliA ?VIMA TTOIAQ wiili tonaafrff mAii VlVUUCU UUO TT1UO "iwu IIIWT rare, Have yielded their pure lives to autumn*! spell; Yet, nodding everywhere, Are blossoms debonair, Which summer's glare And hours Knew not; Gay asters nod In breezes cool, and swing; And rocks the graceful golden rod; The milkweed's hidden silk escapes the pod? Climbs the blue sky like a winged thing, Then seeks again the sod; O'er ledges grey and broad, Held by frail cord, Doth rock * ~ ' v/i* *r {-'M.-zcA And ring The harebell blue; / . . The maple trees are red, As are the clouds the sun sets through; The sumach's waving flags are crimson, too, As tho' a rainbow's dyes were o'er them spread. The world is sweet to view! . \ ;v Nature to me and yoa A lesson true Doth fling. She tells Us everything Must suffer change and die? 'Tis all-wise Allah's ordering; ... ~ And tho' the change hurts like an adder'# sting, Not ours is it to halt and question why; He best knows where to fling The sunshine of bis wing? / And when to ring Farewells. ?Portland, (Me.) Transcript, ~ PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. A stern necessity?A ship's rudder.? ' Judge. Song of the cowboy?Oh, these steers. ?Hatchet. The locks on a door are worn perfectly plain. It is the door that is banged.; ?Statesman.. ' An exchange asks: "What is hostile furniture?" Don't know "unless it ia armed chairs.? Eianitille Argvs. "What chin is it which, is harder to keep still than a woman's?" "Why, the ur-chin, of course."? 'Toledo American. It is a curious physiological fact thai a corn never grows on the right foot. I* ii always on the wrong one.?Boston Transcript. Whether the world goes round or riot* > it is certain that that Dart of the Worla situated in Europe Iras its revolutions often-enough.?Boston Transcript, A Georgia man who lost an eye had a _ catis eye put in its place. Now, when- ~ ever he sees a boot-jack he doesn't know " whether to dodge or not.?Graphic. Alligators are now quoted at from $1.50 to ?3.00 per running foot. Lay in your winter stock now, before somebody corners the" market.?Pittsburg Chronicle, The piano sounds the knell gt parting day; Next door the singing pupil shrieks high Cj. The cornet practices across the way, And gives the night to anguish and to ma. ?Boston Gazette.. . "Why comes not my love to me?" ask* a poetess in (i Chicago newspaper. If we ~v*4. 1%a /\llrt a if TFQQ UilgUli UC Ollvncu lu *? nm pvvir bly because he had never seen her before.. ?Puck. An exchange says: "Fremont has ten secret societies within her limits." It would now be interesting to know hcfv7 many she has outside her limits'.? Graphic. A bottle of milk which a Baltimore chemist was testing ths other day exploded with great force and nearly killed him. It was probably from a kicking cow.?Detroit Free Press. The poor man of to day is said to fare much better than a king cmld have done a few centuries ago, and yet a blister oil the heel or a boil under the arm makes him forget all this.?Chicago Ledger. Sculptor Joe! L. Hart has just chiseled a piece of statuary representing "Woman Triumphant." She is represented in a ' garden leaning on a broom, with the hen disappearing in the distance.?PhiladeV 2)hia Call. '" * * ' "If you can't feel any more interest than this, Caroline, perhaps we had better break off our engagement." "Don't say 'break,' Charles?it's horridly vlolnnfc. But we miirht let it disintegrate peacefully, don't you think ?"-n?Fliegende Blatter. "I was never exactly buried alive," said an old clerk, recounting his experiences, "but I once worked in a store that did not advertise. When I came out my head was almost as white as you now see it. Solitary confinement did it."? Cincinnati Gazette. Getting out of it?She: "By the way, ; ''you've got my name wrong; it's Singleton, not Simpleton. You see jou take me for more of a simpleton than I really am.'' He: "Oh, no; I assure you I don't ?er?1 mean?er?have you.been to .the aciidcmy yet!"?Judy. AVe are assured by scientific authorities that when electricity i3 loafing along at ^ the rate of not more than forty thousand miles a second it is not dangerous, and >. v,?? Ka 1ionrlI#>fl with sai'etv. It will ill a j ug uuuutvw. ...... y therefore be well to always notice before hand whether it is going at a jog trot or on a full gallop before you undertake to stop it. Attention to this caution may preserve the filiiug in your teeth.?Chicago Ledger. tub turn'-up xose. Her lips aro re.l, her eyes are bright, Her checks are like the rose. Hor graceful nock is ivory white, She has a turn-up noso? ? A turn-up nose, ihis pretty rfiiss, But she's a charming creature, And I esteem her proboscis? anrrnrriiifr ffiJltllFO. ? J..LC4 1UVJV w"b"0"*0 Indeed I do. You ask mo why? The reason is simply this: 'Tis never in the way when I Attempt to snatch a kiss. ?Boston Courier. Husband and Wife's Epitaphs. A visitor in the old town of Norfolk, Conn., was tramping in a graveyard there the other day, trying to read the moss-hidden epitaphs, when his eye fell uiioa a tombstone with this inscription: Here lies the body of Lieut. Nathan Davis, who departed this life Sept. 17th, . 1781. in the 77th.year of his age. Death is a ilet thats justly duo that I have paid and so must you. On the opposite side of the slab waa the following: Here lies the body of Mrs. Elizabeth the wife of Lieut. Nathan Davis Descd. She died June the 30th 17SG in the 97th year of her age. This det i owo is justly due and i am come to sleep with you.