The Abbeville press and banner. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, May 23, 1883, Image 1
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ABBEVILLE PRESS AND BANNER.]
BY HUGH WILSON. ABBEVILLE, S. C.. WEDNESDAY. MAY* 23, 1883. NO. 49. VOLUME XXVII. ^jjf
. ? ? ==?=- ?
TRY AGAIN.
When the equinoctial blast
Taars the canvas from the mast,
Does the sailor stand aghast
To complain ?
Nay; rather through the storm
Yov can mark his manly formTry
again.
When the night-clouds overtake
The hunter in the brake,
Where the wild wolf and snake
Have domain,
Does he fling him down to weep,
Like a sluggard in his sleep,
Or with fearless heart and leap,
Try .again ?
If friends or fate should prove
An overmatch for love,
And we vainly try to move
Their disdain,
Oh! who would then lie down,
Though frinnrif. or fnto should frown?
Who would not, for his own,
Try again ?
THE NEW .MINISTER.
Scragg End suddenly awoke to the
knowledge that it was a village, i
Hitherto it had clung to the skirts of j
> Ponkapawket, and had never thought i
of the possibility of a separate exist- j
ence. The soil was pe o.- in that part J
of the town, and it had been a hard .
struggle to wring a living from it; the !
place was unhealthily, too. and "asj
pindlin' as a S^-ragg-Enderwas a
houst-hold saying in Ponkapawket. j
Nobody had seemed to prosper or to j
have much ambition. They were not!
accused of being "slack" or shiftless
?they were hard-working peoplebut
they "never seemed to get ahead."
Some people thought there was a depressing
influence in the name, and ,
had made a move to change it; there
seemed to be n<> especial propriety in
retaining it, now that the Scragg ,
family, for whom it wr.s named, and (
who were the first setthrs, had all
died off, except "Bueny Visty," the (
sea captain's daughter, who was mar- ,
tiq/I /?nt iif tlm rmmo 1' 11 f- ctill tlip
name clung to the place. .
Thev ha 1 a school at Scragg End at j j
certain seasons or the year, becausei
Ponkapawket built them a school- J
house, and appropriated to the ir use a (
certain part of the school money, but
they did all their shopping in Ponka- j
pawket, and relied upon that village ,
for those servants of society generally ;
regarded as indispensable, the doctor, j
the lawyer and the minister. Rather
strangeiv, it was the want of the lastmentioned
cf ti e e servants that awoke
Scragg End to a sense of its rights. 1
Old Mis' Crichett, who had been in j
v ill health for seve ral months, suddenly '
discovered that she had a spine in litr
back, and was not long for this world, 1
and wanted Gospel privileges before (
she died. Miss Angeiia Lawton, who ?
was held in high esteem because her
father had been the minister of Ponka- 1
pawket, declared that she didn't think \
Mr. Ericscn, the present minister of '
Ponkapawket, who no v and then 1
preached in the Scragg End schoolhouse
on a Sunday aftem: on or even- (
ing, was "spiritual," because he wore 1
- ? u: . r. .1,r
ft Ullg uu u&a tui^ci, mm suu uiuu t i feel
to sit under him" anymore. And j *
good old Mrs. Simmons, who walked all j 1
the way to Ponkapawket to church |1
every pleasant Sunday, sa'd she had a!- j '
ways known that "until it was watered !t
by the droppings of the sanctuary, j\
Scragg End would not prosper." " i1
And Scragg End suddenly decided
that instead of occasional preaching a
by the Ponkapawket minister it was .s
entitled to " a stated supply." f
Adoniram Hewitt, who-e fatiier had <
been a deacon, was deputed to make i
application to the proper authorities in | s
that denomination to which Scragg j
End almost universally belonged for a | >
minister to supply the Scragg End pul- j >
pit, or rather the school desk until a 11
church should be built. s
Adoniram Hewitt received an en- 1
couraging answer to his application, t
A very earnest and talented young !
preacher, lately graduated from a theo- j f
logical seminary, would at once be t
sent to Scragg End. 11
Some of the older people demurre 1 a ; <
little; they "did't think much of 'pren- .s
^ tice hands:-' but the people generally !(|
thought a young minister was much j 1
more interesting. j r
Interest and curiosity were at their j s
height in Scragg End on the day when n
Lysar.der Hewitt, Adoniram's son, j
drove over to Ponkapawket station to j j
bring back the new minister, in-j
numerable guesses had been made: \
among the younger portion of the, li
community con.-craing the appearance; e
of the new parson. It was generally j c
agreed upon by the young ladies that \
he would be slender, with dark eyes, a t
melodious voice, and verv white hands. 1
and they e.nbroidered several very j t
~ handsome bookmarks for the Bible j t
and hymn book which were purchased j k
for the desk?Mr. Ericson had been ' r
obliged to bring his own?and an ele- 1
gant satin cushion to rest them on. j \
The minister >vas to board at c
Adonirain Hewitts, the Hewitts being ' li
well-to-do beyond the majority of' <1
Scragg End people, and being regarde 1 j
as possessing book-learning, which ii
would make them congenial compan- li
ions for a minister, for Adoniram ha I; t
in his youthful days been sent to an j;
academy where Latin was taught, and ,
Lysander, his son, had fitted himself I
for college, and only been prevented j
from working his way through bv t
the illness of his father, which' c
made it necessary for him to! I
remain on the farm. Moreover,11
the Hewitts kept a "hired girl"?aid
very unusual luxury at Scragg End;
and both Mrs. Hewitt and Roxy, the j:
girl, were famous cooks, and ministers I S
were but men in the matter of eating, j o
however spiritually minded they might d
be; indeed, Mrs. liepsy Jackson, who h
^ was greatly given to attending county a
conferences, had observed that "the ' a
<nieor tliov w ore tlu? miifp thf?V iitp " li
? ? j iBut
this was generally regarded as l
sacrilegious, and it was remembered n
that MissIIepsy was not "a professor," j '
though she had such zeal in the mat- ; 3
ter of county conferences. ; e
Adonirain Hewitt's house presented j l
a holiday appearance on that summer r
aft<rnoon when Lysander drove over 1.
to Ponkapawket s'ati( n to brin.; back ! s
the minister. The brst room was j \
thrown open, there were flowers11<
everywhere. Mrs. Hewitt had on her j s
best cap, and the pantry shelves were r
lined with good things to eat, in such I s
quantities ;is to lead one to the belief !
that Miss Hepsy Jackson's words had 'J
had their weight. All ?cragg End I
was at its windows and doors. Mrs. i c
Hewitt stood on her door-steps, her cup j
strings fluttering in the breeze. c
"I do hope Lysander hadn't forgot- j
ten to get a new box of blacking. Of t
course the minister will want liis j 1
boots very shiny," she said to herself, j fc
Just at that moment Lysander s
drove up?with only a girl beside him. ;1
What could be the reason that the [
minister had not come ? The young ! t
lady was a stranger. She had probably ! ;i
come to visit somebody at Scragg End, r
and as there was nobody to meet her j J
at the station, Lysander had brought)
her over. But he was helping her to ; a
alight at their own gate. She was j
walking up the path. Mr3. Hewitt j
adjusted her glasses, and satisfied her-; ?
self that the face was unfamiliar. \ i
She was a grave and dignified young t
woman, with a self-possessed manner, s
but with a bright flush on her face.1 n
Why didn't Lysander come up and in- j t
troduce her, instead of attending to
the horse? t
"I suppose you were expecting me,"
said the young lady, extending her ; 1
hand in a friendly way. "I am the i
new minister?Miss Barton." t
As Mrs. Hewitt afterward declared, ]
"you could have knocked her down
vrith a feather." And her oyerwhelu -1 i
tag astonishment was so plainly
! shown that the new minister became
very much embarrassed.
"Of course you knew?certainly
i you oug'it to have been told that?that
i I was a woman," she said.
" We didn't know. Why, we never
thought of such a thing. They didn't
say a word about it," exclaimed .Mrs.
Hewitt, and in her astonishment and
dismay she utterly ignored the outstretched
hand.
The young lady had a strong and
resolute face, but Mrs. Hewitt suddenly
became aware that the corners
of her mouth were droooping, and j
there was a hurt as well as a weary
look in her eyes, and all her motherly
compassion was aroused.
"hut it don't make any difference,
child?I mean ma'am. I've no doubt
- 11 1. -1 ? 4-1. ~
you can prea?n a> wen ;i? n<iu uitmen.
We know what is going on in
the world, if we do live a goal ways
out of it; only there never <!i 1 happen
to be a woman preacher anywhere
atttut here, so it took me l>y surprise.
We believe in giving women a fair
chance, here in Scragg End. I can te'l
you."
"I was afraid you might have objections,**
sai I tii- young lady, a smile
chasing the weariness out of hvr face.
" Oli, we shall think everything of
you, I've no doubt?after a while. You
don't know what it is to be without
regular preaching as long as we have.
Come right in and g.'t rested, and have
a (up of tea, f??r I expect you've had a
hard journey."
Before escorting her guest to her <
room Mrs. Hewitt managed t<> slip upsta:rs
and slyly abstract Lysander's :
new shaving set from the toilet table, I
where she had placed it for the con- :
venience of the new minister.
It is undeniaMe that at th" first receipt
of the news a general dismay .<
overspread Scragg End. The older 1
people were dispose.! to consider that
;i trick had been played upon them, ?
nnd were angry accordingly, some {
even going so far as to wish to have (
Miss Barton told that her services ?
could be dispensed with. But nobody ;
seemed willing to tell her, and there t
was a grtai uiun?sic> iu iic<?i nu t
preach. There were a few courageous t
spirits who openly avowed that they j
saw no reason why a woman should s
not preach, and were gla l to have one a
For a minister. Many complained of g
Miss Barton's youth, but acknowh dged (
that they would not have objected on
:hat score to a young man of twenty- i
>ix or twenty-seven, which was her i
ige. " \
There were some who thought she r
ivas to;> handsome for a minister, and
others who thought that sin? e she was a
?oing to set herself up for everybody a
:o look at, it was a pity that she i'
ivas not handsomer; some who thought *
vomen ought not to preach at all, ami c
>thers who thought some women i<
night be allowed to, but that Miss i
[iarton was not of the right kind. It f
vas tacitly agreed that she should be n
liven a hearing, but a woman minister t
is a stated supply was not what w;is
wanted. li
But in two Sundays Miss Barton v
onquered Scragg End, except a few ^
>f the most prejudiced, who would s
lever own themselves conquered, a
>he was so simple, so earnest, so sym- ii
>athetic. There weie no long words, *
10 far-fetc'ied analogies, such as Mr.
:Cr:cson us(d; thero was no rattling of il
lie dry bones of theology; she touched s;
he chords that vibrated in their every- v
lay life. tl
" She comes right home to you, that's s'
i fact," said Joshua King. "She's v
1 4. oKo, .vol-oc V
^UlipiUUliU) IU", <U1V4 one utunuo ?*.-?
eelin' a prayer as ever I heard. I
lon't, like to see a woman in the ptil- _
)it, and 1 ain't a gcin' to say I do, but s,(
lie's edifyin', and no mistake."
"I never went to meetin' before "
vhen 1 didn't have terrible hard '
vork to keep from noddin', but some- ^
:ow her talk is kind of plain and senil?lo,
and keeps nie awake," said Luke "
'ettingill, who was wont to disturb ^
he congregation by audible breithing.
People flocked to Scragg End l'rom *'
ar and near to hear the new minis- "
er, at first with much the same curi- 11
>sitv that they would have shown to
;ee a white elephant, but soon for the ^
ake of the preaching. Nobody could I1
I uite explain Miss Barton's pjpularity. 11
'erhaps old Mrs. Simmons came as "
lear to the truth as anybody when she 1
aid " she wasn't any smarter than n
inybody else, but someway she seemed n
ust like own folks. And she knew
ust how folks felt without being told." "
Ponkapawket was scandalized. It *c
vas a di^graca to the whole town to J1
lave a woman preacher holding forth
' on' Sinndnv :inrl flr:i\vin<r such
rowds? drawing half the congregation
vay from the Ponkapawket church,
oo! The deacons requested Mr. ?
Cricson to preach a sermon from the jt!
ext, "Let your women keep silence in \
he churches." Mr. Ericson was jc'
mown to hold the woman's rights i P
novement in contempt; but he had ?
iften twice to hear Miss Barton preach, t:
vhen there were no services in his own ^
hurch, and lie had also called upon
ier several times, and when the a
leucons conferred with him about ?
reaching that sermon they found it
inpossible to obtain any satisfaction ;
ie was very polite, anil he did not say &
hat he would not, but " ho smiling 11
nit the question by."
One day lie surprised Miss Barton j v
y inviting her to an exchange of j Cl
I7?r tlio fnllmvin<r Siirwlav but I
uiflv.J .v/. v..y, n _ j _
hat was in harvest-time, and she hail I
ome to Scragg End in June. Even i
'onkapawket hail become accustomed ,
o the idea of a woman preaclier, if it! ^
lid not approve of it. !j1.
lie had found her sitting on the!
tia/.za on a warm afternoon in late j M
September. She had a large basketful ^
f stockings beside her, and was
laming them diligently. Some were
ier own, some were Adoniram Hewitt's
nd Lvsander's, for Roxy had gone s'
way on a visit, and Mrs. Hewitt's )!
lands were more than full. She 1
Doked as housewifely as if she had , S1
lever aimed at any wider sphere. ,
rhe shadow of a smile flickered about
.1 r. Eric-*:on's mouth as he observed her .
mployment. Although Miss Barton ~
ooked up only as inucli us politeness
equired, she saw the smile, anil it (._
rought a flush to her cheek. Though ''
lie looked so strong and resolute, it v
vas evident that Miss Harton was
:eenly sensitive. He sat down beide
h^r, and immediately proffered his
equest, p.'rliaps as an antidote to the 3
mile. v
it Vahi? I !?
A V/ltl |VV/V|;1V/ H vu>u wiivi/nvMi jj
rhey don't approve of me," said Mis-s j ;i
:arton. "And I shouldn't have the ; [
ton rage." ! a
41 never suspected you of any want v
?f courage," said Mr. Eric-son. t (j
" I am a dreadful coward. I don't i
hink I fully realized it when I began, j '(f
I had been sent anywhere but to ?
>cragg End, I don't know what I i ,
ihould liave done. Here they are I ^
lumble-minded people, without strosg j?
irejudices, and 1 do seem to have found
ho way t> their hearts. But I am I j"
ifraid I should never dare to enter 11
mother pulpit?certainly not yours at | r
'onkapawket." I ^
" You would soon conquer there as ,
ou have conquered here," sa d Mr. | {]
Sricson.
"I can't endure their unfriendly!
;aze. I should display all my woman- j
shness. I should blush, I should i *
rernble, I might faint. I should be a
,tumbling-block to the women who, )j
ire following in the same pathway. 1
lon't mean to be that. My work in ! (
?crapg End suffices me, and I am so
hankl'ul for it."
" I am sorry you feel so about Ponkapawket,
because I have a proposition I
n my mind much more audacious j i
han the one that I made," said Mr. | i
Sricson. c
Miss Barton raissd her eyes inquir- t
ngly, and dropped them again in- i
itantly under the minister's gaze. 1 (
" I thought we might unit:; the
churches." Mr. Ericson's voice
trembled a little, as if he were afraid.
" I don't see how it could be done,"
said Miss Barton, frigidly.
" Of course there is but one way,"
said Mr. Ericson, quietly. "I dared
not ask you to be my wife without
suggesting to you the fast that your
work need not be given up."
The girl rose to her feet. Lvsander's
stocking fell from her hand, and
was blown away by the wind unheeded.
" I don't know what I have
done to deserve this?this insult. I
thought that at least you respected
me, and I thought my calling made
me sacred from such?such attacks altogether."
"I am sorry that you should think
it an insult. 1 can hardly ses how a
man could give you a better proof of
his respect than to ask you to become
his wife."
" But I?I am a woman," said Miss
Barton, sitting down again, and covering
her face with her hands.
" The more reason why you should
be married," said Mr. Ericson, calmly.
" You need a protector."
"I am perfectly sufficient for myself.
And I shall never care for anybody?anything?but
my work."
Mr. Ericson arose. " I am sorry to
have troubled you," he said, gently.
" I love you, and 1 have never known
what it was to love a woman before ;
that is all my excuse."
Miss Barton watched him as he went
down the road, with the yellow leaves
falling upon him. .She observed, as
die had never done before, how finely
liis head was set upon his broad
shoulders, what a manly grace there
was about his strong, well-knit figure.
"But he has no business to love me,"
<he said, drawing her brows into a
;ight frown.
Then suddenly she remembered Lysander's
stocking, and went down in
;lie grass to look for it. It had blown
>ver the fenre into the field. She
itretched her arm between the slats
ind drew it back. As she did so she
aught sight of Lysander. lie was
gathering squashes and pumpkins on
he little south hill; she saw his figure
n silhouette against the sky. He
tarted to come toward the house, and
lie waited for him?waited until a
Hidden thought sent a llame of color
>vcr her face.
" It can't be?" she said, half aloud,
nquiringly. "I will keep that out of
ny life." I won't be a failure! I
von't be!" And she rushed up to her
ooni and locked herself in.
She came down as calm and grave
ts ever when the tea bell rang, and !
.Iter tea she and Lysander read their 1
laily quantity of Greek, for Lysander
vas pursuing his studies witn retewed
avidity since lie had a companr>n
to help him, and had not yet given
tp his long-cherished hope of studying
or the ministry, though there seemed
10 prospect of his being able to leave
he farm.
After that day Miss Barton devoted
if rself more zealously than ever to her
rork. .she darned no more stockings.
Vhen she was n -t writing her sermons,
he was visiting the sick and the poor,
nd making, or suggesting and induerig
others to make, improvements,
;anitary and moral, as well as religious.
' She was as practical and ellicient as
f she was not a woman," many people
iiid; and old Jeremy Grimes, who had
fished to tell her when she came that
hey didn't want a woman preacher,
iiid: "They couldn't have had such
rornen in St. Paul's time, or he never
rould have written what he did."
But Mrs. Hewitt had a grievance,
liss Barton didn't seern to make herelf
one of the family as she used to.
he was shut up in her own room allost
all the time now, and she and
.ysander didn't seem to get along
;>gether as they used to. She never
nine into the kitciien ana wanteu 10
elp make cake now, or sat with them
round the fire in the even ?g while
ivsander re:ul aloud. She "didn't
"cm to have anything against them,
ut she wasn't tree i.nd sociable any
lore."
Lysander was teaching school this
inter and attending to the farm work
1 his leisure time. His habit of studvlg
with Miss J Jar ton had gradually
ied out. To his mother's persistent
lustionings Lysander replied that
either of the:n had any time for it
ow.
Mrs. Hewitt could not make it out.
Pa," who prided himself upon being
)ng-headed, hinted that he could, but
e would not say outright what he i
?>n*l Viic wifo rfifTfir/ltuI lncs I
ll'ttgllb,
ints with lofty scorn.
One afternoon, after school hours,
,ysander went down to the woods hack
f the house to superintend the operaons
of some men who were cutting
inber. Just at dusk Miss Barton,
Dining home from a visit to a sick
arishioner, encountered four men
iirrying on an improvised stretcher
.ysander's apparently lifeless body,
[e was lying white and rigid, and
lere were scarlet spots upon the snow
11 the way that he had come. Down
n her knees in the snow fell Miss liarjn,
and threw her arms around him.
"Oh, my love! my love! have you
one so far away that you cannot hear
ie say I do love you?"' she cried. " I
ras cold and hard because I thought it
as my duty, but if you could only
ome back?"
And then they had to raise Miss
larton and carry her into the house,
_>r she had fainted.
" That's just what I could have told
i M r \ 1 1 1 ?
ou a goou wane ai^o 11 i nun intu <i
iind to," said "Pa," as he rehearsed
lie scene to his wife an hour afterard.
"She's a terrible sight like a
oman if >he is a minister. And
.ysander ?well, I calculate he won't
umplain of having his foot cut, if it
oes lay him up for a while. I can't
iy whether she'll let him do tlie
reaching, or whether they'll both do
, but you'll see them married before
limner."
" I don't want anybody to think it's
ecause Pm a woman," said Miss
larton, rather inconse'picntly, when
,vsander led her, blushing and teariil,
to his mother's arms. " Hut I
idn't seem al>le to help it. And Lyinder
says I needn't give up my
rork."? ilazar.
Eats >otliiner but Vegetables.
A vegetarian reports to the British
fediral Journal the result of his
ear's experience without meat. At
rst he iound the vegetables insipid,
mi had to use sauces and pickles to get
hem down. As soon as he became
ccustome 1 to the diet all condiments
rere put aside except a little salt. The
csire for tobacco and alcohol left him
pontaneously. Then a'l his digestive
unctions bscam:: regular, and he
ouml himself wholly free from head,ches
and bilious attacks. After three
nonths a troublesome rheumatism left
liiu, and at the end of a year he had
;ain?l eight pounds in weight. lie
lelieves he can do more mental labor
lian before, and that all his senses are
nore acute. For breakfast he has
>ro\vn bread, apples and coffee; dinner
ovists of two vegetables, brown bread
mil pie or pudding; for tea he rejoices
n bread and jam. with milk and
vater, and for supper bread, jam, cold
Kidding, and, as a luxury, boiled
nions. Eggs, milk, butter and cheese
ire used only in very small quantities,
rhe dietist. is a doctor, and his statenent
is drawing out many similar
mes from medical mpn
Out of a total population of about
>0,000,000 in this country, there were
n 1830 a little over 250,000 people
nsane, idiotic, blind and deaf and
luinb. In every 1,000,000 of popula,ion
there were 1,834 victims of
nsanity, 1,563 idiots, 076 blind and
>75 deaf and dumb.
AMONG TIIE WOODCUTTERS
IKTEBESTIHQ PHASES OP LIFE 1ST
THE LOGGING CAMPS.
How the Hnrdy Woodmen Live nnd Work..
The Wny 1" Which Vnrloun Trees arc
Cut?A Free and Healthful Life.
At the midwinter season the pine-1
ries, stave-timbers and cypress,
swaraps of the country are full of I
choppers; and there they remain until {
the blue-bird and the bud chase them j
from the woods. The logging "crews" ;
of the great Northwest are picked up
in the lake cities and adjacent lumber
towns during September and October
and shipped in squads to the woods,
frequently hundreds of miles away.
These crews are made up of "swampers,"
teamsters, "sawyers" and choppers.
The "swamper" is a general
utility man, helping the other loggers <
in divers ways, but more often in 1
"swamping" or cutting out logg'ig
roads. The teamsters do their work
usually with oxen, as they are by far
the best animals for the woods. They
haul with either " bobs " or "go-devils."
"Where it is practicable to use
"bobs," from live t> e'ght logs are
piled up for a load and taken to the
"bank." The "go-devil," which is a
sled made from the crotch of a tree >
irwl rncomlilinrr flin ** u i^lullAnP 99 f)f J! I
goose, is used in "swamping" or
"gnlching," where it would he difficult
to handle "hobs." The "sawyers,"
either singly or in pairs, follow after
the choppers unci cut the felled trees
into saw-logs. The chopper generally
works by himself, and is paid, sometimes
by " stumpage" (number of trees
cut), sometimes " by the foot" (amount
of timber he fells), but generally at
specified wages by the month. A good
ax man can always command from
to $50 per month, and is "found."
The others make from $15 to $25 per
month. The men working in the
pines are gathered from nearly all
civilized countries, with the exception
of the Latin races. Excepting the
French-Canadians the Latins have an
insurmountable aversion to the ax.
" Shanty" life in the woods is as original
as can well be imagined. The
"shanties'' are put up entirely by the
ax, of unhewn logs, covered with guttered
troughs made from stems of
smaller trees. A short distance away
stand the stables, similarly constructed.
The logger's shanty is long
and narrow, with a few square holes
cut through the 'ogs for windows and
fitted with panes of glass. In the
front, on either side, are ranged the j
"bunks." two tiers high. Next comes i
onfmrf-rnAvn lfc f.WH
anil then the kitchen. Sometimes,
having relatives in the camp, women
do the cooking; but generally the camp
is without the gentler sex, men performing
all kinds of work.
The shanties are warm and comfortable,
for it is rarely very cold in
the woods, however far north. The
trees break the wind and their evergreen
heads seem to form a roof to
k<ep the natural heat of the earth
from iscaping. The men rarely work j
with coats on, Indeed, the a< will |
not permit of a coat. The feet are the
members of the body rejuiiing the J
greatest attention. Though boots are (
worn, the preference is for that peculiar j
article (found and used exclusively in j
f.ie timbers), the " bootpack." It is
similar to an Esquimaux boot and is
made of untacned skin,sewed together
with sinews or hide, and very large.
They are loosely tilled with hay, and
the foot, covered with from one to;
three pairs of woolen stockings, thrust j
4-U IV niMnin/* /.nmrc Hw? I
llltu iiiuiu it urii t > tmii^ vvhu-.j v* v# |
stockings will be wet with sweat and ,
are hung up by their owners along the !
roof of the shanty to dry. The "grub" ;
is always gocd and substantial, for!
men would "jump " a camp where it1
was otherwise. There is plenty of
" pickled " meat, beans and potatoes, >
generally enough fresh b?ef and pork. ;
and often venison and bear. Excellent |
bread and butter, with coffee and tea i
ad libitum, always garnish the board, j
Dried apples and" peaches, with "plum |
duff," form theluxuries. The " crew " j
of a shanty will number from twenty J
to t-ixty. The mail and the outside |
world rarely intrude upon them from j
the opening of theseasonin November j
to its close in April. It is easy to j
comprehend, then, that when the j
" logger " gets back to civilization in
the s[ r'ng with his unspent season's
wages in his pocket, he is a hurricane,
and " makes fur lly." Life in camp is
made up of cheerful monotony. A
song, a story and loaling hours
smothered in tobacco smoke, comprise ;
it. The chopper passes his time in
tinkering" with his ax, or contemplating
its virtues. When not hurling
its head against the pines, he is generally
engaged in grinding, whetting, re- i
hanging, scraping or polishing it. j
There is as much diversity of opinion I
amoner them ; s to what should eonsti-1
tute a good ax, and how it should be I
hung, as there is among society belli s j
relative to hairdressing. One wants
his ax heavy and broad-bitted, an- j
other, light, long and narrow; some j
prefer thick bits, some thin; others re- j
quire a soft, easily whetted blale, and j
others a hard, lasting one. In helves, j
from the extreme crook to the perfectly
straight, the whims are as various as j
the owners. A good chopper always ]
likes to make his own handle, and the |
ax that one swings in graceful dexter-j
ity another throws away as useless. ;
White pine, in fact all pines used!
for lumber, are cut from the ground, i
leaving usually a stump of about three
feet. Other American evergreen tim- j
lmf tlio r-vnrf><? :ind red wood.
"t? v..v, , .
are generally cut at a distance up the
trunk high enough to overcome the |
bulbous nature of the base. In regiir.l
to the temperature in the timbers it is I
a curious fact that, while a chopper
would hardly ever think of building a
lire near his work to keep him warm,
he frequently builds one to keep his 1
ax warm. A gold, frost-filled ax-1
head has a positive dislike for entering
wood that can only be overcome
by coaxing and keeping the frost out
of it. The dexterity and precision
with which a lirst-class chopper
handles nis ax are remarkable. Trees ,
three feet in diameterare oft<n cut en- i
tirely through and still retain their per-!
ptndi'-ular position until a breeze or!
some slight shock topples them over, i
The two gaps on either side meet in a
straight line. To the novice there are '
many strange things within the prov-1
ince of an ax. In clearing a piece of
farm land it is frequently a stipulation j
that the chopper shall "bucket" his
stumps to hold a pail of wait r; in
other words, leave a concave bowl on
their tops to catch rainwater and rot
them. Jn the pineries the ax is used
for nearly every purpose for wh'ch a
cutting tool is required. With
it the chopper trims his ' b iotpacks,"
cuts lacing thongs, "buckets" ,
horse and cattle feed-bo.ua, pins up'
his sheds, shanties and out-houses.
constructs his bobs and "go-devils,"
and even whittles his toothpicks. lie
gutters chips ior drinking cups, fixes
tobacco for his pipe, throws flying
bridges over winter streams, whittles
out the checkers for his evening's.
amusement, and carves the checker-:
heard. In a word, it is a part and
parcel of himself, and its song is the
music of life to his ear.
After leaving the pineries the ax has
a long ramble to a new life upon the
Pacific slope. In California, on the
coast range, it enters the famous redwoods.
The"e noble trees, the Goliath3
of the forests, are fast disappearing.
But their gigantic stumps still remain
to tell of their departed greatness.
And enormous stumps they truly are.
So much so indeed that the ax has lo
climb in the world to overcome them,
and the chopper assumes a positipa j
which he is not compelled to attentat
anywhere else. To surmount
enormous swell at the base of the tog
and commence ope/ations where the
average diameter of the trunk may bo
said to begin, lie builds a platform
made of stakes with cross-piece* of
rails, sometimes six or ten feet high,
around his victim, and chops from
| that, cutting above the bulbous swell.
Or, if an expert, he will simply
"bucket" a hole in the trunk, an J
driving a stout stake into it, stand
perched upon that slender foothold as
he dexterously swings his blade. The
size of the redwood giants is worldfamous,
and it is a legend of the coast
that a woodsman having chopped for
a week on < ne side of a tree, walked j
arcurul it and found another chopper
who had been at work for a month on
the other side.
But it is not until the cypress
swamps of the southland are reached
that the ax takes the water. In those
dark-shadowed and moss-draped
lngoons the chopper becomes amphibious,
and performs his work while skillfully
balanced in one of the most
treacherous of all aquatic contrivances,
a dug-out. Of the ax in the oak-lands
of the Southwest, where it labors for
France and Spain, sending them annuallv
thousands of dollars' worth of
staves, and also of its desultory
existence in cordwood chopping,
"grubbing," charcoal-stacking, hooppole-cutting
and kindred industries
little nsed be said, save that it does
its share of the work honestly, and has
a settled policy that no man shall
hold intercourse with it with his coat
on. This deference it exacts from all
with whom it enters into business
relations, whether among the icelocked
lakes and rivers of the white
pine, the laurel-scented canons of the
('oast Range or the magnolia-haunted
lagoons of the mournful, moss-draped
cypress. There is no healthier, cleaner
and more enjoyable exercise in the
world than swinging an ax.
The "Why" in Vegetable Cookery.
Why should beans never be put
into cold water to soak, as is often recommended?
Because all the nutritious
portion of the bean is extracted
by the process. They should be washed
in warm water, then in cold, be tied
I osely in a cloth, be put into boiling
water, with a spoonful of dripping and
a little salt in it, and be kept boiling
for four hours. They are then excellent
if served with gravy, and not with
melted butt er. The}* serve as garnish
around roast mutton or beef, and are
excellent eating served whole or as a
puree. To make the latter, when the
beans are done thiow them instantly
into cold water, when the skins will
slip o!T. Jtub the beans through a
colander, and mix a lump of butter
with them. A little stock, or imiK,
or cream is excellent mixed in.
Why should plenty of fast boiling
water be used in boiling vegetables,
potatoes excepted? Because the
greater the body of boiling water t'ie
heat. If only a little water be used,
the whole affair soon cools, and the
vegetable* bpcoine tough, so much so
that no length of time in boiling the:n
will render them otherwise. lirorcoli
sprouts in April, if properly cooked by
boiling tliein for eight minutes in
boiling water, will be tender as marrow;
but, if not properly done, hours
will not cook them.
Why should onions be always cut in
round and very thin ring*? L'e-ause
the fiber is thus cut across, and in so
cutting them, whether for frying or
for making sauce, they are rendered
very tender when cooked. With turnips
and carrots it is just the same ;
neither of the three should be split or
cut in any other way.
Why should parsley never be boiled
with toda?only boiling water and
salt? Because parsley, having no oil
in it, would be spoiled* with soda and
all tlavor would be extracted. All
parsley should be picked free from the
stem, be put into plenty of boiling
water with salt and in summer be
boiled only one minute, and in winter
two minutes, and be strained and
chopped on the back of a plate. If
only a little water is used in boiling it,
the water becomes brown, and the
tiurulov fnnrrli nnH ill flavored.
1"" ""V '""P" """ ? ,
Why should vinegar for pickling
with never he boil.'d? Because boiling
takes all the strength from it.
Whatever vegetables are to be pickled
should first be made soft with boiling
water strong with salt and then be
well drained and the vinegar poured
over.
Why should two ounces of salt and
a bit of washing soda always be put
in the water to boil greens in? .Because
the salt crisps the gre.'ns and
llavors them, and the soda extracts the
oil, which is greatly injurious to the
J igestion.?Germ a n town Telegraph.
Coffee Beans Manufactured to Order.
"Give me your opinion of these,
young man," said the cast side grocer,
us he spread before the reporter a handful
of coffee beans. " Tliev aren't very
regular in size, are they? Now compare
them with thesand tell me
which you tlink are the better."
The grocer placed a se?ond handful
alongside of the others. The two lots
were of the same dark brown color,
and at a little distance away presented
no very marked difference. Closer inspection
showed that while the coffee
beans first shown were not all of the |
same size, the second handful were of
extraordinary regularity, the beans
being very plump and large.
"I know what you are g< ing to tell
me, and at first glance any one would
say so. Your opinion is that the last
lot is the be>t, isn't it? Well, the difference
between the two britches is
that those which 1.showed you lirstare
a fair lot of cofTee beans, while the
others aren't coffee at all, and never
grew on a coffee bush."
" What kind of a bush did they
grow on V"
" No bush at all. They are a manufactured
article. You need not look
as if you didn't believe it, for it's a
fact ( n which you may safely risk your
last dime. They are nothing more or
less than imitations, made out of
dough, and browned up to resemble
the true coffee. They are made in
molds and baked afterward. Each one
is almost perfect in shape, and all are
alike. You won't lind genuine coffee
beans to have such regularity."
" They look all right, but it strikes
me that no one would mistake the beverage
made from them for coffee."
' You are wrong again, young man.
No ieipectable groc er wouid be foolish
tnough to^ive any customer who buys
a pound of cnfe.'a pound of the imitation.
Xo, indeed. They mix it in .
tlie proportion of four or live of coffee I
to one of the imitation, rsouooy examines
each bean. You hear person?
complaining of bad coffee all the time.
' I'm sun.! I can't tell how it is,'says the
housekeeper; ' I buy the coffee in the
bean and grind it myself. I am sure
it is not adulterated.'
" You see, the grocer can mix
/?*ii/v?rv wiMi irrnund coffer1, but when
J r> ?
coffee is bought in the bran something's
got to be clone. Some brilliant mind
got over the difficulty by making coffee
beans to order.'?New York Sun.
.Many Words In Little Space.
A man in Humboldt county has put
161 words into the spa re occupied by
a nickel. lie has also put 1,150 words
on the face of a postal card, which
conta:ns log square inches. lie has
written the Lord's Prayer on a space
covered by one side of an old-fashioned
three-rent piece, and says he
can put thirty thousand letters upon
one side of t, postal card with a steel
prn without the aid of a glass.?Iowa
S ata Register.
-Six of - the largest grape-sugar manufactories
of the United Statej have
THE FARM AHD HOUSEHOLD.
Feed for Covr?.
Dr. Sturtevant, of the agricultural
experimental station at Geneva, says
of experiments made with feed for j
cows:
1. The effect of shorts was very
favorable to the richness of the milk
and the amount of butter obtained
therefrom.
2. The effect of meal was neither
favorable to rich milk nor the economy
of manufacture of butter therefrom,
but was favorable to the quantity of
milk yielded.
3. The effect of ensilage was unfavorable
to richness of milk, but
rather favorable to the obtaining of
the butter from the milk.
Watering Sliecp.
A writer urges more careful study
of pure water and of drinks in general,
on the economy of animals. The
privation of water tells more rapidly
on health than abstinence from food.
in every Kinu 01 ueverage, me part
efficacious in assuaging thirst is the
water. The quantity of water required
by an animal varies with the air's temperature
and humidity. A sheep requires
least and a pig mcst water,
horses and cattle come between. In the
case of sheep, much water thins the
blood. They ought never to be deprived
of water, nor at the f ame time
allowed to fully slake their thirst.
The latter observation applies also to
horses. The sheep and horses are, of
domestic animal*, the most sensitive
to impure water. For draught animals
and sheep warm drinks are enervating.
Corn I'lnntinR.
Every farmer must know, says the
Farming World, that to produce the
heaviest possible crop a certain number
of stalks must be upon the ground.
It is often observed that the great sin
of American agriculture is too thin
sowing. Grass is nearly always sowed
too thin, and the same is true of small
grain. In England they sow four and
five, and sometimes six, bushels of oats
to the acre; in this country generally
not more than a bushel or a bushel and
a half. Hence in England they yield
three or four times as heavy as in this
country; while in this country we
never hear of an extraordinary crop
where less than three or four bushels
to the acre were sown. Now, we venture
to affirm that no very large corn
crop was ever grown unless it was
planted more than usually thick. In
the crop of George AV. Williams, of
Bourbon county, Kv.t the corn was
planted in rows two feet apart, with a
stalk every foot in the ro\vs. This crop
produced 167 bushels to the acre. But
there is another ad vantage of close
planting. The corn very soon becomes
so dense that the ground is shaded,
V?n nP fho rrrncjQ i? "nrp
illlll WAO jJlUHVi: v* v.axy v
vented and the moisture retained in
the soil. By this method of cultivation
no grass is ever allowed to absorb
the moisture from the earth, or to take
up the nutritious gases which ought to
be appropriated exclusively to the corn.
The Plow Criticised.
At the annual meeting of the Xew
York State Agricultural society, Mr.
James L. Ingalsbe read an interesting
paper on the need of a perfect plow.
The plow of the present day, he said,
is too slow. The horsci ordinarily
used are too light, and heavy horses and
oxen are slow. A plow-point costs considerable
money, and only one-twentieth
can be used; the rest is sold tor
scrap iron. A good plow should cultivate
a width of twelve to twenty
inches, carrying the rider and automatically
parsing obstacles. Weeds
are now turned under?put into a silo
for preservation?inste;ul of being left
at the surface to decay. Nature puts
all fertilizing matter on the surface,
and plants all seed just under the surface.
"We, with the plow, turn
all manures under and cover
them with the subsoil. An implement
is needed which will line and pulverize
the surface without inverting it,
leaving all manural matters at the
surface where the elements can disintegrate
them and prepare thein for
plant food. Instiad of turning down
the seed of the weeds to be turned up
again after several years, perhaps then
to germinate and give trouble, the
proper way is to let them germinate
quickly and the young plants can all
be destroyed at once. The best plows
nnw offered to the farmers of our
State are only polished relics of barbarism.
Plenty of improvements
have been made in details, but no radical
change of principles. With great
capacity of inventions and application,
men have sadly failed in this direction.
Lnw for Fanner*?Cattle in the Blgh<rn)'.
Mr. H. A. Haigh, LL. U., of Detroit,
gives a resume of the laws on
the above subject, in the American
Agriculturist, from which we extract
the following:
It is a general doctrine of law in
this country that the land in the highway
belongs to the owners of land
lying along each side. With a few
exceptions, the American farm extends
to the middle of the roa-.l, and
the public has only the right to pass
and repass there in an orderly manner,
and the r.'ght to keep the way in repair.
Every other use of the highway
which does not interfere with this
public right, belongs to the farmer
? - ?1 1 TT?
owning tne adjacent i<inu. mowns
the soil, grass, trees, stones
anil gravel, and everything
else upon the surface or under
it, and may use them all in any
way that does not affect the public
right of passage; and the law will
protect his ownership in them just as
much as though they were inside his
fence. No other person has any more
right to pastuie his stock there than in
inclosed lands; nor can he hitch his
horse to a tree there without being
liable for the trespass, especially if the
horse should gnaw the tree or do other
damage; he can, in fact, only pass
orderly along.
As to road fences, the laws do not,
with the possible exception of those of
New York, impose any obligation and
the farmer may, if he chooses, remove j
such fences without impairing his I
right of action against the owners of !
any domestic animals that enter and 1
do damage by that means.
If a person lets his cattle go in the '
highway, he is liable lor the trespass '
they commit by simply being there un- j
lawfully; for the ijrass they consume,!
for the injury they occasion to the sod,
or by barking the trees, and for any
other damage they may do. If, while
there, they hook, or kick, or bite any
person lawfully using the way, he
would be liable for the injury.
A man once turned his horse into a
public place where children were
playing, one of whom began switching
the horse, which turned and kicked j
and killed the child. He was convicted
of manslaughter.
Notwithstanding the fact that the j
fanner owns the land of the road, he j
cannot use it himself for any purpose !
which at all interferes with the public
rights there. lie cannot put his woo !pile,
wagons or pig-pens there ; and if \
he does, and the traveler runs into j
them in the night and is injured, lie !
would not only be liable for the private J
damages sustained (Lindsley vs. Hush-!
nell, 15 Conn. 225), but he may be in-,
dieted for obstructing a public way, j
IteclpeM.
Cream Sauce.?Heat one table- j
spoonful of butter in a skillet, add a
teaspoonful of flour, and stir until
perfectly smooth ; then add gradually
one cupful of cold milk, let it boil up I
oncT, season to taste with salt sud
peeper, and serve.
fEytfa Podding.?Grate tU:ce-'
r
fourths of a pound of bread, tnreo*
fourths of a pound of suet, threefourths
of a pound of apples, threefourths
of a pound of currants, four
eggs, and the peel of a lemon grated.
Put into shape and boil three hours.
Serve with sauce.
Potato Puffs.?Take any outside
slices of cold meat, chop and season
with pepper, salt and cut pickles.
Mash potatoes, making them into
paste with an egg. lioli out with a
dust of Hour. Cut round wit'i a
saucer. Put your seasoned meat 0.1
one-half and fold likn a puff. Fry a
light brown.
Bkown Bread.?Sift together one
pint of corn meal, one pint of rye
flour, one tablespoonful of brown
sugar, one teaspoonful of salt and two
of baking powder. Rub into the mix
ture one taoiespoonrui oi jaru auu
add three-fourths of a pint of milk.
Mix into a batter like cake and bake
one hour. Protect it with brown
paper if it should brown t^u fait at
lirst.
Household Hints.
Ceilings that have been smoked by
a kerosene lamp should be washed off
with soda water.
Hellebore sprinkled on the floor at I
night destroys cockroaches; they eat
it and are poisoned.
A tablespoonful of turpentine boiled
with your white clothes will greatly aid
the whitening process.
Paste for labels is made by soaking
glue in strong vinegar,' then heating it
to boiling and adding Hour.
Good fires should be kept up during
house-cleaning time, even though the
doors and windows be kept open.
A piece of stearine candle, spermaceti
or white wax as large as a robin's
egg will give a nice gloss. A teaspoon
of salt to each pint of starch prevents
sticking.
When silk has lost its gloss and become
limpsy it may be restored by
sponging with a solution of half an
ounce of gum tragacanth in a pint of
hot water.
Painted woodwork is washed with
soap and water, or a little ammonia
and water on white paint. On grai"?'l
work cold tea is sometimes used. Very
little if any soap should be used on
varnished work. In washing woodwork
do not use so much water that it
runs down and streaks the wood, and
wipe thoroughly dry.
Before repapering a wall it is best
to remove the old paper. This is a
troublesome operation. Moisten a
portion of the wall at a time to soften
the paper and paste and then scrape it
olf. When it is desired to paper over
a whitewashed surface, first scrape off
the loose lime, fill cracks with plaster
of paris and apply with a brush a
sizing made by adding eight ounces of
dissolved glue to a pailful of hot water.
Hard-finished walls may be washeJ
with soap and water and wiped dry.
Grease spots on wall-paper can some- 1
times be removed by applying a thick
paste of boiling hot starch spread
thickly on the spot, then allowed to
dry and rubbed olf with a soft cloth.
Other stains may be cut out with a
sharp knife and a piece of clean paper
matched on.
SELECT SIFJHNGS.
February ;ind January were added
to the calendar bv Numa about 713
15. C.
A Kentucky farmer lias a duck
which lavs eggs that have shells nearly
black.
Darwin says that hornets were not
invented untill the world was 500,000
years old.
Optic nerves were discovered about
1538 by X. Varole, a I3olognese physician
and surgeon.
Four barrels of water from the
Great Salt Lake, after evaporation,
will leave a barrel of salt.
A French investigator finds that, in
proportion to its size, a bee can pull
thirty times as much weight as a
horse.
In Algodones, Xew Mexico, lives a
I'ueblo Indian over 100 years old, and
he earns his own living by working on
a loom 20U years old.
The diamond mines of Brazil were
first opened in 1727. It is estimated
that since that time they have produced
at least two tons of diamonds.
The sacred black stone of the C;iaba
was venerated by the Arabs long before
the Christian era. Mohammed
defeated its guardians, the tribe of
Korish, and abolished its worship.
A iJanish tradition makes the moon
a cheese, formed of the milk that has
run together out of the Milky Way! In
the Pyrenees a hailstorm may be
averted by frightening a black cloud
with the sight of its own face in a
mirror held up to it.
It is said that the ostriches '.>pon ar-1
riving at the corrals in Anaheim, Cai., i
manifested their joy by indulging in
the most ludicrous antics. For over
half ;m hour they kept up an incessant
waltz around the corral, and in other
ways exhibited their delight at escaping
from their pent-up quarters in the
car.
Professor Tread well, of Massachusetts,
found that a half-grown
American robin in confinement ate in
one day sixty-eight worms, weighing
together one ounce and a half as much
as the bird himself, and another had
previously starved upon a daily allowance
of eight or ten worms, or
about twenty per cent, of his own
weight.
WISE WORDS.
Have no friends you dare not bring
home.
Men fear old age without being sure
of reaching it.
lie who tries to prove too much
proves nothing.
Work, play, study, whatever it is,
take hold at once and finish it.
A man without ambition is like
d?ugh without leaven in it to make it
rise.
There cannot he greater treachery
than lirst to raise a confidence and
then deceive it.
The man whose soul is in his work
linds his best reward in the work itself.
The joy of achievement is vastly
beyond the joy of reward.
Man's character is an element of his
wealth, and you cannot make him
rich in what he has except as you
teach him to be rich in what he is.
True politeness scorns deception; it
lias a kind and honest nearc snown in
kind and honest speech and conduct.
Hence if thou will be truly polite,
lirst, feel kindly; secondly, act kindly.
Respect goodness, find it where you
may. Honor talent wherever you behold
it unassociated with vice; but
honor it most when accompanied with
exertion, and especially when exerted
in the cause of truth and justice
It needs wise and patient effort to
make the home the most attractive
place of all?and it should never be
ltss than that. The womanly arts
which by the skillful touch lend
beauty and grace to the plainest
things, and from being homely make
them to be home-like, are all needed
to this end. Many a husband too
prone to stray might be kept by his
own fireside by no more art or subtler
skill than this.
West Point, Miss., with two thousand
inhabitants, has recently raised
$.r>0,000 for a national bank, $50,000
for a cottonseed oil mill, increased its
ad valorem tax list $100,000 in one
year, established a cotton exchange,
voted $0,000 to a railroad, and is talking
of a $60,000 cotton factory.
THE BAD BOY ALLBROKEUP
BADLY WEECKED BY 1'OOH.VG WITH
AN OLD FACBB.
Ife llrlTon a Mlnlaler to n Funernl?The Henull
ofSnylna "Ye-np" to n Former "Bo?
oi' the lioiul,"
"Well, what's the matter with you.
now?" said the grocery man to the
bad boy, as he came in to the grocery
on crutches, with one arm in a sling
one eye blackened, and a strip of courl
plaster across one side of his face
"Where was the explosion, or hav(
you been in a light?''
"Oh, there's not much the matt.1!
with me," said the boy, in a voice that
sounded all broke up, as he took a big
apple oil a basket, and began peeling
it with his upper front teet h. " If you
think I am a wreck vou oucht to see
the minister. They lial to carry him
home in installment?, tne way they buy
moving machines. I am all right, but
they have got to stop him up with
oakum and tar before he will ever hold
water again."
" Good gracious, you have not had a
fight with the minister, have you?
Well, I have said all the time, and I
stick to it, that you would commit a
crime yet, and go to State prison. "What
was the fuss aboul?" and the grocery
man laid the hatchet out of the boy's
reach for fear he would get excited and
kill him.
" Oh, it was no fuss. It was in the
way of business. You see the livery
man that I was working for promoted
me. He let me drive a horse to <haul
sawdust for bedding, first, and when
he found I was real careful he let me
drive an express wagon to haul
trunks. Day before yesterday there
was a funeral, and our stable furnbhed
the outfit. It was only a common
eleven-dollar funeral, so they let
me go to drive the horse for the minister?you
know, the buggy that goes
ahead of the hearse. They gave me
an old horse that is thirty years old,
that has not been off a walk since nine
years ago, and they told me to give
% Iaaua MAin nrtil
uuii a iwac i ciuy auu ug nv/um gw
along all right. It's the same old
horse that used to pace so fast on the
avenue, years ago, but I didn't know
it. Well, I wan't to blame. I just
let hira walk along as though he was
hauling sawdust, and gave him a
loose rein. When we got off of the
pavement the fellow that drives the
hearse, he was in a hurry, 'cause his
folks was going to have ducks for dinner,
and he wanted to get back, so he
kept driving alongside of my buggy,
telling me to hurry up. I wouldn't
do it, 'cause the livery man told me to
walk the horse. Then the minister,
he got nervous, and said he didn't
know as there was any use of going so
slow, because he wanted to get bacli
in time to get his lunch and go to a
ministers' meeting in the afternoon
but I told him we would all get in tht
cemetery soon enough if we took i1
cool, and as for me I wasn't ii
no sweat. Then one of the driven
that was driving the mourners
he came up and said he h?d to get
back in time to run a wedding down
to "the 1 o'clock train, and for me to
pull out a little. I have seen enough
of disobeying orders, and I told him a
funeral in the hand wjis worth two
weddings in the hush, and as far as I
wai pnnpprnurl flip fnnprni was coinc
to be conducted in a decorus manner,
if we diin't get back tiil the next day.
"Well, the minister said in his ngular
Sunday-school way, 'My litt'.e man,
let me take hold of the lines,' and like
a blame fool I gave them to him.
He'slapped the old horse cn the crupper
with the lines and then jerked up,
and the old horse stuck up his off car,
and then the hearse-driver told the
minister to pull hard and saw on the
bit a little and the old horse would
wake up. The hearse-driver used to
drive the old pacer on the track, and
he knew what he wanted. The
minister took off his black kid gloves
and j ut his umbrella down between
us and pulled his hat down over his
head and began to pull and saw on the
bit. The old cripple began to move
along sort of sideways, like a hog
going to war, and the "minister pulled
some more, and the hearse driver, who
wits right behind, he said so you could
hear him clear to Waukesha,4 Yee-up,'
and the old horse kept going faster,
then the minister thought the procession
was getting too quick, and
he pulled harder, and yelled
who-a,' and that made the
old horse worse, and I looked through
the little window in the buggy top behind,
and the hearse was about two
blocks behind, and the driver was
laughing, ami the minister he got pal
ami said, ' My little man, I guess you
better chive,* and I said, 'Not much,
Mary Ann; yo:i wouldn't let me run
this funeral the way I wanted to. and
now you can boss it, if you will lef
me get out,' but there was a street car
ahead and all of a sudden there was an
earthquake, and when 1 come to there
were about six hundred people pouring
water down my neck, and the
hearse was hitched to the fence, and
thft hearse driver was asking if my leg
was broke, and r. police:u-m fanning
the minister with a plug hat that
looked as though it had been struck
by a pile-driver, and some people wenhauling
our buggy into the gutter, and
some men were trying to take the old
pacer out of the windows of the street
car, and then I gues> I fainted away
agin. Oh, it was worse than telescoping
a train loadtd with cattle."
"Well. I swan," said the grocery
man as lie put some eggs in a funnel-1
shaped brown papc r for a servant girl, j
" What did the minister say when he
come to?"
"Say! What could he say? He
just yelled 'whoa,' and kept sawing
with his hands, as though he was
driving. I heard that the policeman
was going to pull him for fast driving
till he found it was an a-cident. They
told me. when they carried me home i
in a hack, that it was a wc.nder everybody
was not killed, and when I got
home pa was going to sass me, until
the hearse driver told him it was the
minister that was to blame. I want I
to find out if they got the minister's
umbrella back. The last I see of it the;
umbrella was running up his trousers j
leg, and the point come out by the j 1
small of his back. lint. I am all right,:
and shall go to work to-morrow, 'cause j
the livery man says I was the only one |
in the crowd that had any sense. 11
understand the mini.-ter is going tci
take a vacation on account of his liver
' *? r :i I i
iinu nervous proamnion. i tvuuiu u i
,1 was him. I never saw a man thatj
hail nervous prostration any more than J
lie did when we fished him out of the'
barbed wire fence, after w e struck the
streetcar. Hut that settles the minister j
business with me. 1 don't drive witli
no more preachers. What I want is a
quiet party that wants t > go on a i
walk," and the boy got up and hopped j
on one foot toward his crutches, j
filling his pistol pocket with Jigs as lie
hobbled along.
The next time I drive a minister!
to a fun-nil, he will walk," and tin i
boy hobble ! out and hung out a sigrj
in front, of the grocery. "Smoked dog-!
fish at halibut prices, good enough for1
company."
How It Was Made.
An old lady in the country had s
dandy from the city to dine witii her
on a certain occasion. For dessert j
there happened to lie an enormou>,
apple pie.
"La, ma'am !"' said he, "how do yoi |
manage to handle such a pie?"
" Easy enough," was the reply: "w |
make the crust up in a wheelliarro-.v j
wheel it under the apple tree, and ther
shake the fruit down into it."
_?_i? i
The American hog is forbidden tc
enter (Jermany. That shuts out tht
man who trie* to occupy four seats in
a railway car.?Kawkeye.
LOVE, DRINK AND DEBT ; iC. ;
Son of mine ! th? world before yoa , * ? ' -Jfl
Spreads a thousand secret snares i
Pound the feet of every mortal /J
Who through life's long highway fartt? -.Jj|
Three especial, lot ine warn you,
Are by every traveler mot; :
Three to try your heart of virtue?f;'
They are love, and drink and debt l
Love, my boy, there's no escaping-* 0 j&9
'Tis the common fate of men; 'ffgjmgKteia
Father had it; I have had it; ! />?#|
But for love you had not been. '
Take your chances, but be cautions| ' lk|?|
Know a squab is not a dove ; j .
Be the upright man of honor;
All deceit doth murder love.
A A fawnflH
As for drink, avoid it wholly; j*?J
Like an adder it will sting,; ; .-,'4 : .ys
Crash the earliest temptation;
Handle not the dangerous thing. VSj
See the wrecks of men aronnd us? , .J
Once as fair and pure as you? -c'sB
Mark the warning! Shun the pathw . - Si
And the hell they're tottering through, N ?32
Yet though love be pure and gentle
And from drink you may be free,
With a yearning heart I warn you
'Gainst the worst of all the three.
Many a demon in his journey
Banyan's Christian pilgrim met;
They were lambs, e'en old Apollyon,
To the awful demon debt.
With quaking heart and face abashed
The wretched debtor go33;
He starts at shadows lest they be . ~<j-3
The shades of men he owes. ran
Down silent streets he slyly steals,
The face of man to shun,
He shivers at the postman's ring,
And fears the awfal dun.
Beware of debt! Once in you'll be
A slave forerermore;
If credit tempt you, thunder " No 1" .
And show it to the door. sSla
Cold water and a crost of bread
May be the best you'll get;
Accept them like a man, and swear?
" I'll never run in debt!" ;
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The appropriate coior xor imauia jm
this season will be yeller.?Springfield
(0.) News.
When the man in the clock fumblis
in his pocket for the "one dollar and
costs," is it a case of fine feeling??
Boston Bulletin. liens
may be a little backward on
eggs, but they never fail to come to
the scratch when flower beds are concerned.?Picayune.
"What was your observation, Mr. "'??8
Brown?" "Oh, nothing, madatne. f
simply said the butter ranked well."
?Boston Transcript.
" Say, Mrs. Bunson," said a little girl
to a lady visitor, " do you belong to a .
brass band?'' "No, my dear." "I
thought you did." " Why did you, my
child ?" " " Because, mamma said you >||
was a."ways blowing your own horn,
and 1 thought you must belong to the
band."?Dmmmer. V'IImI
Some manufacturer of fishing tackle
has invented a bait with a luminous S
arrangement, of phosphorus, or some
tiling or mat Kind, i > ngut uie iuu
toward the hook. When it gets so a
fellow has to hold a lantern so a fish H
can see to bite, half the fun of fishing :'#a|
will be gone.?Peck.
TO LET.
A youth went out to serenade
The lady whom he loved beat.
And passed beneath the mansion's shale
Where erst her chamber u?ei to rest ^-3mB
He warbled till the morning light
Came dancing o'er the hilltops' rim,
But no fair maiden blest his sight, vCS
And all seemed dark and drear to him.
Witn heart aglow and eyes ablaze,
He draw much nearer than before,
When to his horror and amaze, >*0
He saw "To Let" upDn the door.
?Youth's Companion. '.
" Pa, I wish you would buy me a
little pony," said Johnny. "I hann't
ant nnv money to buv a nonv. my S'. n.
You should go to school regularly, my
son, study hard and become a smart
man, and some of these days, when
you grow up, you will have money ;
enough of your own to buy ponies with."
"Then I suppose, pa, you
didn't study much when you were a little
boy like me, or else you wo'ild ''
have money now to buy ponies with, jgj jjg
wouldn't you, pa?"?S'iftings.
A "fashion" item says: "Thelozenge
shape is the most fashionable for pills, '
whicli should be coated with silver, and Hr>i3S
look very inviting." This appears to *'?.$?
be a new depirture in fashion intelligence,
and next it will be in order to
describe whetlief the new shape in JW>2|jS
porous plasters is octagon or oblong,
and if they are trimmed with gimp
braid nr iruinure lace, and we may HBill
told that the most fashionable tints in ^ '^3
castor oil are terra-cotta and fawn
color, and that liver-pads are cut in the ^|[H
form of a heart, with scalloped edges
and lined with ciel-blue satin.?Norristown
Herald.
A Naval Officer's Prantr.
The secretary cf the navy lately sent
a note to naval oilicers asking them for
suggestions as to a change of uniform.
This puts some old-timers in mind of -, ?
a similar request made by Jefferson
Davis, when secretary ol' war under
Franklin Pierce. Lieutenant Derby,
alias Jolin Phoenix, the lirst great
American joker, was so fortunate as to
get one. in repiy jib sent a prupuaition
for having a two-inch iron ring
appended by a stout piece of leather to
the seat of each enlisted man's trousers.
Long and formal specifications
demonstrated the utility ot' this ring,
the use of which would inontestably
place our army at th'> head of the milltary
bodies of the world.
Kach oflicer, instead of a sword, was
to carry a long white ash pole, with a
hook at one end. By hooking this pple
into the trousers-ring of the private he
could be held in line of battle, or caught
when lie tried to run away. Men in
the artillery s:*rvic3 could, by means of
the ring, be used for draught purposes
and in the cavalry could be locked to
otlur ling.s in the saddle and kept from
falling oif. Lieutenant l.'erby was a
flood draughtsman, and he iliustrat d
liis propo itimi. Ollicers were pictured
i:itfhiny infantry strairtriers and fore
ing them into tlie ranks, dragoons as - 4
padlocked to their saddles and artillerymen
with <annon-prolongs hitched to
thtiir rings and drawing huge pieces
up stoop heights.
This extraordinary proposition caused
considerable fun an o:ig the war department
(1 *r!cs. It finally reached
Secretary Davis, who regarded it as an
insult. At his instance charges a (1
specifications wer drawn up and a
court martial was ordered. Tlien
Marcy, se; retary of s-tate, heard of the
ma'ter and advised Secretary Davis to
let it drop. Mr. Davis :a\v the wisdom
of the advice and Derby did not have
to sufi' r for his joke. Iiis "proposition
and specifications for a change of
uniform" arc yet among the archives
of the war department.?sprinyjield
Republican.
TH' Country's Quarries. J
The compendium of the tenth
census, recently is>ueil, contains some
figures whi' h will serve to give ;in
idea of the magnitude of the quarrying
interests oi (lie country, which
in 18S0 gave employment to 39,723 men,
8,059 horses and <*">1 mules ; had 339
machines for quarrying, <>,290 machines
for hoisting, J ,^US machines
for dressing, and used $192,175 wo: t!i
of explosives. The capital invest e I
ii given at ^25.414,497, and the valin
<if the pro luct in the c -nsus year a*
:?ltv*">6,05", tln re being 1,525 qua ries
in all. Marble and limestone lea I the
list with 65,523,965 cubic feet, followed
by the sandstone quarries with
24,776,930 cubic feet; crsytalline
silicious rooks, with 5,118,998 cubic
feet; and slate with 457,267 sqi ares/ j
or 4,572,670 cubic feet. A